Chapter Text
"What's in your inventory, Avery?"
D3rlord3's hand was tangled on Avery's arm, and his gleaming, gold helmet mirrored Avery's horrified expression on his mask.
He was just close enough to feel everything, but never be there.
"Wh-hat?" I stammered out. His response came out firm and commanding.
"What's. In. Your. Inventory."
"Mine?" Of course it was. Was Avery stupid?
The question was useless, not that Avery had many items in the first place. But seeing him so close, just right there after searching behind the gaping doors and finally– just being here was enough to push all logical mind.
After being voided by his touch, it seemed almost impossible to ignore feelings. That was what was pulling Avery to d3rlord, now Derek, felt far from platonic.
It felt.... In a sense, something he didn't want to address.
Avery demanded himself to be in the moment with Derek. He pulled himself to the present. In the still hovering platform. Derek's infinite piercing haze startled him back into the present.
He was so close.
Close enough to make out every freckle of his skin if he took off that damn helmet. Avery tentatively reached for the bottom of the slim rim of the helmet with one intention— seeing Derek for what he is.
Break the one silver (more like golden) lining. The delicate balance between them.
A hand suddenly grasped at Avery's approaching hand and batted it away.
"Avery, what's in your inventory?"
"But, your helmet...."
"Not now, Avery." Derek told Avery, breath slightly desperate.
Hesitating, he opened his menu and looked at his inventory. It was what he expected. Boat, slime block, netherack,.....
Then a jolt of pain from his abdomen. Then falling.
Down.
Falling down
Spiralling
Down.
'WAIT'. Avery types furiously.
The colours of yellow fly across his vision as he sees the room slowly fading.
Eyeballs track the movement fully before he is matched with a new sensation.
Darkness
.....
(Before the fall, back at the church)
Avery has never seen this place before. Not that he expects to.
The calm pastels assault his vision, and he turns slowly around to see if there are any threats.
Gentle leaves grow from the branches, and forget-me-nots are scattered around like the numerous stars in the dark.
The answer seems clear to Avery this time. The repetitive looming yellow door stands slightly ajar, like for every single time for Avery. For once, the answer is clear. The door is only a few meters away. He can be gone in a second. Being closer to d3rlord3. But nestled in the corner of this realm lies a church.
Clean, cut quarts bricks and a gradient roof. Nothing seems wrong with the structure. All it is is a new building like all the others. Yet, unlike the other... realms, the church seems to be the only structure.
'Strange, what the heck? Where is everything? Finally, something that's straightforward.'
Avery scoffs at this thought. But as he sprints towards the escape,
'd3rlord3 I'm coming.'
Avery thinks he sounds very heroic when he says that, but oh well. As he meets with the familiar darkness of the yellow door, he finds himself glancing back at the church. It seems to be a subconscious movement. Then, as all stories spiral downwards, he slowly trots to the church. It was an alluring experience. It is so simple that it beckons to be entered.
'It couldn't hurt to look.'
Avery thinks guiltily. The open arch yawns open and presents its strange symbol. Avery creeps into the church. It presents the strange beauty of the symbol that is plastered everywhere. The space is small, Avery thinks. All the attention seems to be focused on a single lecture on the altar. Then it comes.
"Avery, come to me. Submit yourself. You know you are no better than d3rlord3. So let yourself become better."
Avery immediately stops doing what he is doing and crouches behind the lectern. He stops dead in his tracks like a dog that you find happily mucking on your favourite pair of socks.
The voice is hollow and bright.
It cuts through every sound in life.
The rushing water outside seems to cease to make a sound.
The wind remains still and likes to go beyond its confined space.
And then the entity is gone. The whispers of the hollows vanish. The silence seems to resonate more than it should. Avery could have left right then, but he persevered and continues. The book lies innocently on the lectern, wishfully unaware of its resident on top. Avery stares at the book at his disposal. A leather book consisting of only a few pages. Avery opens the book.
His heart thrums an imaginary beat.
His eyes dart to the pages.
Then he leaves.
Avery, as if in a trance, continues to move automatically. Starting with clearing out weeds, planting flowers, and drowning—leaving him at half a heart each time.
Reeds
Flowers
Water
Reeds
Flowers
Water
Preparing. Practicing. Following its ever-lasting routine, Avery arrives at a cluster of forget-me-nots in the corner of the... place, house, realm? Avery can't remember. All he thinks about is preparing. Practice for his final graceful moment, like what it says. It could be his.
Nothing gives the notion of concern as he follows through with his routine.
Then there is a disturbance. As Avery is mindlessly punching the tall, olive reeds when he comes face-to-face with a sign— no, make that two. With the addition of a small poppy nestled between the two signs. Something tugs at Avery's memory watching a poppy sway. A deep red...cloak? And yellow? He shakes his head as he reminds himself of the words.
Preparing, Practicing.
Then he reads the words in the signs.
You are special. Remember who you are.
.
.
.
A violent gasp tears through his chest. It is the sound of a hollow breaking—a sudden, jagged intake of air that forces the stagnant silence from his lungs.
A tidal wave of long-buried emotions comes assaulting back at his weary heart, crashing against his ribs with a ferocity that feels less like a homecoming and more like a siege. The numbness that has been his only sanctuary for years begins to fracture, peeling away in painful, crystalline shards. In that raw, agonizing moment, he realizes with a shuddering clarity that he can finally feel again.
He is no longer a ghost haunting his own skin; he is, for better or worse, alive.
___
(back to the present, after the fall)
*Avery's POV*
Light.
Unfortunately, not the light that would save and embrace you, whispering words of golden praise.
No, the sharp light. The death screen illuminated,
You died! Averythemayo fell out of the world.
But, the familiar respawn was missing from the screen.
"D3rlord3, you....." I hissed. A sob tore through me again. I was pathetic. I couldn't even save the one person that I cared about.
'So much for coming out of my damn shell.' I thought bitterly. The tears came next. I was a mess.
I felt hot streakes down my cheek as I watched as the screen blurred in my vision.
He was right there. Only a centimetre away from me. I could have helped him. God dammit. The pain was getting too much, a halo of blurryness had also formed around my vision. The sensation of helplessness i couldn't control. I couldn't do anything.
Then my mind wandered unknowingly to the last proper conversation we had together.
A link.
Wait, he gave me a link. This had to be a terrible idea. A jolt of realization shook me when I had to open Minecraft again. I couldn't breathe at the thought of playing it again. Checking the chat logs gave me a link. The search blinked at me. Beckoning me to uncover what my knight has left me.
'That bitch...'
The Google page blinked its gray tab at me, beckoning to know what d3rlord3 left for me. Multiple bated breaths later, I landed on a Google Drive folder. My breath hitched as I played the familiar warm voice. Yet, the sound seemed strained—pained even.
Then the Google Doc.
...
At the crossroads, keep going forward.
(I was never good at ending anyway.)
That was my breaking point. I was ignoring my emotions building up, straining against my chest. My heart squeezed and thudded heavily, thundering in the confined space. All I saw was the blurred white of the screen.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to die.
I wanted him. Here. With me. Was that so hard? He couldn't have.
He could...
I can't.
Breathe.
Can't....
Where are you.
I felt stupid. I barely knew this guy. Yet he meant so much more than anything in my life.
I
When he called my name.
Can't
Every time.
Do
It almost killed me.
This
Melting in his gaze of infinite patience.
Anymore.
When he chuckled, it would have never made me question anything.
Why
Maybe that's why I was here.
Did
I played the audio again clinging on my last connection of d3rlord3– now Derek, as I passed through the pain.
You leave me.