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"I've never been a fan of weddings. I always thought they had no purpose. My sister would say it was because I've never been in love. And she was right. I changed my mind completely when I met the person who changed my life. They're the only person who can make me feel like I belong somewhere. They make me feel safe and sure about myself. They're everything to me. They're my home. And it's because of this person that I can now stand next to my best friend and wish him the best on his wedding with the woman he loves."
-
Let's take it from the start.
Alec was 15 years old when he met Magnus. He was the new student in his school and even though he was two years older than him, he was in his grade.
He went and sat beside him on the first day of school and by the third break they had become friends.
By the end of the month they were inseparable. They would often sleep over at each other's house, confessing their secrets to each other. Alec trusted Magnus more than anyone and Magnus felt the same. It was on one of those nights that Magnus admitted to his friend that he's bisexual. Alec just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at his friend.
And maybe Alec would finally have a friend apart from his siblings and everything would be fine.
Or maybe not.
-
Alec was 17 years old when he realised he had feelings for Magnus. Not love, just some feelings.
It was a pretty chill day. They had gone out with Alec's siblings, Simon, Clary and a friend of Magnus, Raphael. Everything was going fine and Alec was sitting beside Simon, who was explaining to him something about Star Wars. Now he can't remember what exactly had happened but at some moment he had caught himself staring at Magnus, who was laughing because of one of Jace's silly jokes. Surely, it couldn't have been that funny but Magnus had thrown his head back and was laughing so hard that tears had appeared in his eyes. He looked so happy and carefree and Alec couldn't but feel a sudden warmth inside him, as if he had discovered the world's most valuable treasure.
He was lost in his thoughts when he heard Simon calling him. "Stop looking at him like that, it's creepy!" he whispered - shouted at him and only then did Alec realise what was happening. He had a crush on Magnus. And how could he not have a crush on him? Magnus was beautiful, inside and out, he cared so much about the people he loved, he would tolerate Jace's stupid jokes, he was the only one who could put up with Izzy's obsession with shopping. He would always listen when Alec had something to say and he was there for him. He made him feel comfortable and safe when he was with him. So it was an understandment that he felt like that about him.
The weird thing was that he hadn't realised until that very moment.
This time, the person he trusted the most was Simon. He was the first one who realised how Alec felt and he promised to him that he would keep it a secret. "It's not my secret to tell,"he assured him. "But I think it would be good to discuss this with one of your siblings. They will understand and will be there for you, just like me." These two may not have been that close but they cared deeply about each other and, as Simon would say, "Alec was the Ron to his Harry." He couldn't understand that reference but it had something to do with the fact that Simon was dating his sister or something like that.
-
Alec was 20 years old when he told his siblings. His feelings haven't changed through those 3 years and it was time to tell them. So. he gathered his courage and confessed everything to Izzy. She just hugged him, told him she already knew and that nothing would change between them.
"You knew about Magnus or about the fact that I'm gay?" he asked and she laughed.
"Both. You never go out with girls and the only girl I've seen you with, besides Clary, is Lydia but you treat her like a sister. You don't check out girls but I've seen you staring at Clary's father a little more than necessary," Alec blushed at that and his sister giggled, "but you don't look at anyone the way you look at Magnus."
He felt a lot more comfortable after that. There were two people who knew about him and supported him.
Next was Jace.
"Wait, wait! All this time you and Magnus have been together?" he asked surprised.
Alec explained to him that his feelings were one-sided but Jace just shook his head no. He was sure that Magnus felt the same but Alec refused to believe him.
"As long as I don't come into your room to find you sucking some guy's dick, we're okay," he teased him. "Imagine walking in on me going down on Clary."
-
Alec was 21 years old when his parents kicked him out. After he had come out to his siblings and both of them had accepted him, he decided to come out to his parents. He knew they weren't very fond of the idea but what could go wrong? He was their son after all.
At the end, everything went wrong.
He can't remember much. There was shouting, tears - especially from Izzy - and a very sharp pain because of the slap he got from his father.
That's how he found himself in front of Magnus' apartment at 11pm, with a suitcase in his hand. He explained everything to him, even though he hadn't planned on coming out to him. At frist, Magnus was angry because of Alec's father and then he started crying.
"Nobody messes with my best friend, and certainly not someone like your father," he growled while holding Alec in his arms.
Alec felt that warmth in his chest again, the same warmth he had felt 3 years ago, when he had first realised how he felt. He was safe in Magnus' arms. And maybe after that everything would be okay. Magnus had insisted on Alec moving in with him and maybe after that, a miracle would happen and they would end up together. Maybe everything would be okay.
Or maybe not.
-
Max was 9 years old when he died. He was the youngest member of the Lightwood family, and everyone was shocked when the doctors announced he had cancer. Max was the only one who stayed calm. He knew he would die and he had accepted it. He also had asked the others to treat him as if nothing was wrong.
When things got worse and Max was staying in the hospital, everyone would visit him. Simon would read him some books, Clary would draw for him anything he would ask her to draw, his siblings would joke around with him, Magnus would tell him stories about his trips - leaving out the one about Peru -, Lydia would watch movies with him, especially documentaries about animals, and Raphael would tell him embarrassing stories about the Lightwood siblings.
Things would get worse day by day and Alec wanted to be honest with his little brother. So he decided to come out to him. He knew Max would accept him.
He never managed to do that. The day he visited the hospital with the purpose to finally be honest with him, he found Izzy sobbing in Simon's arms. The latter turned towards him and mouthed "he's gone."
Alec didn't know what to do. He went to Magnus' house - their house, as Magnus would insist -, and just broke down in his arms. Max didn't deserve something like that to happen to him. Nobody deserved such fate, but especially not Max. Magnus was crying too but he was also trying to calm down in order to be there for Alec. He would have the opportunity to mourn but at the moment the only thing that mattered was Alec.
-
Alec was 23 years old when he met Jem. He was smart and handsome and funny and within a month they were dating. Most of his friends were happy for him. Except for his siblings and Simon, who knew about his feelings for Magnus. And except for Clary. She only said a cold "congrats" to him and after that she seemed distant and moody. Maybe it had to do with the fact that her, Lydia and Raphael didn't know that he was gay. Or maybe she just didn't like Jem.
After that he also realised that neither Raphael was excited. Whenever Alec would mention something about Jem, Raphael would try to change the subject. It had come to a point where it annoyed Alec, so he decided to confront Raphael about it.
"Idiota! My problem is neither your boyfriend nor the fact that you're gay," Raphael snapped. "My problem is that you don't look at him the way you look at Magnus, but you're still dating him!"
Alec was shocked. He didn't know it was so obvious.
"It was Simon, wasn't it?" he was ready to go find Simon and yell at him.
"It wasn't Simon. Nobody told me. I'm just observant."
So it was obvious. He was wondering how Magnus hadn't realised yet.
"I'm trying to get over him. Maybe Jem will help me," he finally admitted.
"Do what you want. But just so you know, your feelings are not one-sided."
Alec refused to believe it. There was no way someone as amazing as Magnus would feel like tha about someone like him.
-
Alec was 25 years old when he realised he was in love with Magnus. He knew he had a crush on him, but not that he was in love.
It was on Clary's and Jace's wedding day. His brother had insisted on him bringing a date, and since both he and Magnus were single, they went together. You see, the thing with Jem didn't last long. At the end he realised that Alec had feelings for Magnus and they broke up.
Back to our main point. The wedding. Everything was beautiful and Clary's wedding dress was incredible. There were tears here and there, and maybe Alec cried too. It's not every day that your brother gets married to his girlfriend of 7 years.
After the wedding was done, they all went to party. Everyone was dancing and it didn't take long for Magnus to pull him off his seat to dance. At that moment there was a ballad playing. Alec had his arms around Magnus' waist and Magnus' were wrapped around his neck, with his head resting on his shoulders.
"I've never danced like that with a guy," Magnus whispered. "I like it."
Alec could hear his heart beating faster, and he blushed a beautiful shade of red. At any other moment it would have been pretty romantic, but at this moment, Alec was anxious. He was dancing with one of the most important people in his life, the one who made him feel safe, but at the moment he didn't feel safe. He felt scared and vulnerable.
"I want my wedding to be like that," Magnus whispered against his neck.
"Me too," Alec breathed.
The next thing Magnus said, made Alec freeze.
"If we're single by the time I turn 30, I think we should get married."
He knew his friend was joking, but still, he couldn't help but feel a little hopeful.
"We'll see Mags."
After that, everyone sat down to hear the speech Simon had prepared, considering he was the best man.
"Since we were kids, Clary would dream about her wedding. She would always talk about her wedding dress and the man she would marry. Now, I can't remember how she wanted him but I'm glad she chose Jace. Maybe he has a really bad sense of humor and maybe he acts like a 5-year-old whenever I beat him at Mario Kart, but he's one of the best choices Clary has made in her life. So, I hope each and every one of you," for a moment, Alec felt Simon's eyes on him, "find the love of your life, or if you've already found them, I hope you find the courage to tell them."
They all applauded him and some guests were crying, but Alec couldn't help but think about his own wedding. He wasn't thinking about his wedding dress, as Clary did, but he was thinking about the groom. He wanted him to be someone who could understand him, who would care about him, who would have passion for everything in his life. Someone who could make him feel like coming home. He wanted someone like Magnus. Or better yet, he wanted Magnus.
And then it hit him. He knew he had feelings for him but not that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He turned to look at him, only to have his suspicions confirmed. He had found the love of his life back when he was only 15. Magnus was his home.
-
Alec was 27 when his best friend got married.
Some days after Jace's and Clary's wedding, Magnus had gotten a call from his ex, Camille. Alec didn't know how or why but the one moment the two of them went on a date and the other Magnus announced they were dating. To say Alec was a mess was an understandment.
It was on a Saturday night that he got his heart completely broken. They had gone out, everyone except Magnus. Sometime Jace's phone buzzed.
"It's Magnus," he mumbled. "He's coming here with Camille."
The fact that they were together was something Alec could handle. But seeing them together was a whole other story. He was extremely jealous and Camille must have realised, because she was doing everything in her power to make him even more jealous.
That night did the same. Magnus was trying to talk to the other but Camille was practically sitting on his lap, staring at Alec while doing so. He was trying to ignore her, but the pain in his chest was unbearable.
"Camille and I have something to say," Magnus announced. "We're getting married."
Suddenly there was silence. The only thing Alec could hear was his heart breaking in a million tiny pieces. The love of his life was getting married. No one clapped or congratulated them. Raphael just glanced at Magnus with a disappointed look in his eyes.
"If you can't be happy for us then I guess you don't deserve to call yourselves Mag's friends," Camille snapped and got up from Magnus' legs.
Izzy just kept glaring at her while she was leaving, but still, no one says a thing. Finally, Lydia decided to break the silence. "I think it's best if we all go home," she mumbled. "Just so you know, Magnus, we are happy for you. But I think I speak for all of us when I say that none of us agrees with what you're about to do."
Magnus didn't object, so they all went home. Back in their house, Magnus and Alec sat on the sofa without talking. Alec didn't know what to say. He used to think that seeing them together hurt, but them getting married made his heart shatter.
"What's your opinion about my wedding?" Magnus asked and Alec's heart broke a little more. Still, he put on his brave face and turned to face his best friend.
"Lydia was right. I'm happy you're getting married, but that's it. I don't agree on the fact that you chose her," he managed to say.
"Why? What did Camille even do to you?"
Alec wanted to laugh at that. Should I mention that every time she kisses you she looks at me to see if I'm jealous? Or should I mention that she knows how I feel and just wants to see me hurt? he wanted to say, but he knew he couldn't.
"She hasn't done anything to me, but to you. You're the one she cheated on, you're the one she left 2 times during those 2 years of your relationship, you're the one she's lying to. You're not supposed to fall for a person who treats you like that."
"Is that so?" it was clear that Magnus had gotten angry. "Who do you fall for then?"
"You fall for someone who understands you. Someone who makes you feel comfortable, safe. Someone who makes you want to become a better person. You fall for someone who listens to you and truly cares about you. Someone who knows you better than anyone. Someone who makes you happy just by thinking about them. You fall for your best friend!"
"Is that what you did? Did you fall for your best friend?" Yes. "Because the way I see it, you're just jealous that I have someone in my life and you don't."
Alec's heart broke a little more.
"You know what? Screw this. Screw all of this. And screw you too. I'm tired of this whole thing and if you want to ruin your life then fine. I won't sit here and watch you though."
That's how he found himself in Jace's living room, crying his eyes out.
"W - we had a fight a - and I left. Can I stay here?"
"Of course you can, my house is your house. But first you gotta tell me what happened."
Alec told him everything and Jace got so angry, Alec had never seen him like that. Through his tears, he didn't notice Clary appearing from the bedroom. She had heard everything and she was as angry as Jace. She pulled Alec into her arms and rocked him back and forth. When she finally managed to calm him down, she made the sofa comfortable enough for him to sleep. "Everything will be okay, you'll see," she kissed him on the forehead and turned off the lights.
-
3 days. That's how long it took Magnus to talk to him. Through text.
"I'm sorry for everything. I miss you. Please come home."
Alec knew he shouldn't forgive him but he couldn't resist him. He was far too in love to do that.
Half and hour later he was sitting on Magnus' sofa, with Magnus looking at him with the most regretful expression ever known to man.
"I'm sorry for everything I said. I should have never talked to you like that. You just wanted the best for me and I treated you like shit. I hope you can forgive me and be there with me on my special day. I really want you to be my best man Alexander."
Alec used to think that his heart couldn't break more but he was wrong. First he shouted at him and now he wanted him to be his best man. He knew he should decline, to save himself from the pain, but he can't. He could never say no to Magnus.
"Okay," he mumbles and the smile on his best friend's lips makes it worth it.
Maybe everything would turn out okay.
Or maybe not.
-
The same night, Alec went out with Izzy, Clary and Lydia. They were supposed to meet the rest of their squad later, but for the moment they were talking about Izzy's new dress, Clary's college, anything to get Alec's mind off the wedding. He wasn't listening to them though, he just kept ordering more and more drinks.
After the 4th or the 5th one, he started getting a bit drunk and he was giggling like an idiot.
"Love is bullshit," Alec shouted at the top of his lungs. "I never want to fall in love. Or get married. I'll just end up alone and not give a damn about anyone!"
As he said that he started to realise how real it all was and his face darkened.
"I love him," he said to his sister. It was the first time he said it out loud and it sounds so real.
"I know."
"You knew, Izzy!" he sobbed. "All this time you knew and you said nothing."
"I thought you knew," she hugged him.
Right that moment, the rest of their squad walked in, Magnus included, and Alec shedded more tears. He loved him and he was getting married in a week or so. As they were getting closer, he wiped away his tears and put on his happy face. But they probably had seen him, because Simon slid next to him and held his hand tight, while Raphael was once again glaring at Magnus.
The night was pretty chill. Alec had managed to calm down a bit and nobody mentioned the wedding.
At 3pm or something, they decided to call it a night. The following day would be a busy day for all of them. The moment they got home, Alec was about to go to his room but Magnus' hand around his stopped him.
"Why were you crying today?"
"I was drunk."
What else could he say to him? That he had admitted out loud that he loved him and it scared the living hell out of him?
Magnus seemed convinced and after smiling at him he let him go to sleep.
-
The following days passed by quickly. Magnus looked wonderful in his tux and Alec fought a lot with himself to manage to tear his eyes off of him. And Camille had been beautiful in her wedding dress, as Lydia said, and Alec was jealous again. He concealed his feelings though and smiled for the sake of his friend. He should be happy for him.
-
2 days. 2 days until the wedding, and Alec hadn't wrote his speech.
"I've never been a fan of weddings. I always thought they had no purpose. My sister would say it was because I've never been in love. And she was right. I changed my mind completely when I met the person who changed my life. They're the only person who can make me feel like I belong somewhere. They make me feel safe and sure about myself. They're everything to me. They're my home. And it's because of this person that I can now stand next to my best friend and wish him the best on his wedding with the woman he loves."
No, no, it wasn't good enough. And he didn't mean it.
As he was trying to figure out something to write, Izzy sat beside him.
"How are you feeling?"
How was he supposed to feel? Like hell? Heartbroken? About to die?
"You could tell him, you know. Remember when Max died? Before that, you wanted to come out to him and you never managed to do so. I can see it still hurts. Don't do the same mistake with Magnus," she got up and went to keep company to Clary and Simon.
He wanted to tell him, he really did. He couldn't do that though. He couldn't take away Magnus' happiness. He deserved to be happy.
-
The wedding was beautiful. The girls were crying, Jace and Raphael were glaring at Magnus when he wasn't looking, and Simon was holding Alec's hand while he was trying not to cry. When Magnus kissed Camille though, he couldn't look at them.
After the wedding they went to a nightclub to celebrate.
"Before we all start drinking, the best man wants to make a speech," Simon announced and Alec could feel his hands trembling. He got up and looked through the crowd for his sister, who was smiling at him. He could do this.
"To be honest, I never liked weddings. Unlike Clary, I didn't use to dream about my clothes or about who I would end up marrying. My sister would always say that it was because I've never been in love. And she was right. It took me long enough to realise, and I actually realised on my brother's wedding day," he smiled at him and his wife. "That's when I realised how wrong I had been all these years. Marriage is a beautiful thing. The difficult part though, isn't organising the wedding but finding that one person you want to spend your whole life with. And I'm really proud I found that person when I was only 15 years old."
Everyone was shocked, even Magnus. Alec's voice was trembling but he couldn't stop. He had to get it out of him.
"I found someone who made me want to give everything for them, made me want to do everything for them, made me want to become everything for them. Someone once asked me who you're supposed to fall in love with and I replied "with your best friend." That's what I did. I fell in love with my best friend when I was 15 and I'm so stupid that I only realised it 2 years ago, when I was already to late. "
He turned to look at Magnus, who was looking at him with tears in his eyes.
"Magnus, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realise it sooner and I'm sorry for confessing all this on your wedding day. I just... I had to say this before you decided to stop talking to me."
With that, he dropped the mic and started running.
-
Magnus was 30 when he got a divorce.
It turned out that his friends were right not to be happy about his wedding with Camille. Everything was going okay, for once in his life, until he walked in on her being in bed with two random guys. There was a lot of shouting and many tears - from Camille, Magnus couldn't care less at the moment - and then they broke up, for good.
The night it happened, he showed up at Alec's house. He didn't know why, but he wanted to see him.
"I'm so sorry Magnus," he said apologetically and gave him a glass of wine. He knew his friend wanted to get drunk.
"Not your fault. Not hers either. I shouldn't have married her."
"Well, you love her. That's what people usually do. They marry the person they love."
"That's not what you told me before my wedding."
So that's what it was about. Magnus wasn't here to talk about his ruined marriage but about Alec's feelings. And Alec didn't have time for that. He wanted to get over him and he was almost there. Except he wasn't. But Magnus didn't have to know that.
"Why would you mention a mistake I made 2 years ago?"
It was Magnus' turn to be shocked. That wasn't what he had expected to hear.
"Do you really think it was a mistake?"
"Well, yes. Normal people don't fall in love with their best friends."
"Too bad I made that mistake too then."
With that, Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec. He was cradling his face in his hands and he was pouring everything in that kiss. He wanted to make sure that his friend knew exactly how he felt. He was kissing him with so much love and desperation, but Alec wasn't kissing back.
Magnus pulled away.
"What was that for?" he heard Alec asking, with his voice trembling.
"I...I wanted to kiss you," Magnus mumbled.
"No," he shook his head, "no, you don't get to do that to me. I've been trying to get over you and now you come here and expect me-"
"Alexander I'm in love with you, let me explain!", he interrupted him and Alec stood still.
"I'm in love with you. I don't know for how long but I realised it a year ago. I was married to Camille and it felt wrong. It felt wrong seeing her in our house and it felt wrong waking up next to her. She wasn't you. And living with her made me realise how much I love you and that I want you in my life as more than a friend. Izzy told me that you're still in love with me and that I should try but now I feel like an idiot.."
Alec was standing there looking at him. He didn't know what to do. The love of his had just poured his heart out to him and he couldn't find the words to explain what he was feeling.
"So tell me Alexander, do you...do you still love me?"
Having Magnus looking at him with so much love and hope in his eyes made him realise what he needed to do. He had ran away from him once and he wasn't ready to make the same mistake again.
He walked up to him and took his face in his hands, leaning close to him.
"I do. I do still love you," he breathed against his lips and he kissed him.
This kiss was nothing like their first one. The first one was desperate and sudden, while this one was full of love and adoration. Magnus had his arms around Alec's waist and was holding him close to his body. Magnus had finally found what he needed and as for Alec, he finally felt that warmth in his chest again, after two whole years of suffering.
-
Alec is 33 when everything is fine.
He and Magnus have been dating for two years and they are so in love. They are always cuddling, kissing and being that lovely dovely couple that everyone pretends to hate but secretly loves.
Right now, they are cuddling on their bed and are watching a movie. Well, Alec is, Magnus is just watching him. He still can't believe his luck. Alec is such an amazing person and Magnus feels extremely honored to call him his boyfriend.
The movie ended and Magnus hasn't moved from his place, against the pillows.
"What are you thinking of?" Alec asks him, and only then he realises he has dosed off.
"Do you remember Clary's and Jace's wedding?"
"Yes, of course. Why?"
The next thing that comes out of Magnus' mouth makes Alec freeze.
"I remember I told you I wanted to marry you when I reach my 30s and now I'm 35 and we're still not married."
"Mags, did you just propose to me?" Alec laughs and Magnus feels unsure about himself. He really wanted to make a speech but then again, he couldn't stop himself from spilling it out like that.
"Did you want it to be a proposal?" he asks shyly.
"Well, if it's indeed one, then the answer is yes."
Magnus turns to look at him with such a huge smile on his face, that would make Alec fall face down if he wasn't laying against his chest.
"You really mean it?"
"Yes. I love you, you know that."
"Well, if you mean it then yes, it's a proposal."
Alec turns around and kisses his beautiful smile.
"Oh God," he says after he pulls away. "I'm getting married to the dorkiest dork alive."
-
Their wedding is simply amazing. People are crying again, especially Simon.
"I can't believe I was the first one who realised Alec's feelings and now you two are getting married," he mumbles in between his sobs and both Magnus and Alec hug him.
Izzy and Clary are crying too. They had waited so long for that exact moment that when it comes, they can't control themselves.
Lydia and Jace are not crying, but they both have big smiles on their faces and look fondly at the newly married couple.
Raphael is crying though. He's the best man and he had watched both of those two idiots falling in love with each other. When it's time for him to make a speech, he wipes away his tears and gets up.
"Both Simon and Alec have made memorable speeches in the past, especially Alec," everyone laughs at that, "and I can't compete with them. What I can do though, is tell you how proud I am they finally got their shit together. You see, most of our friends watched Alec falling for Magnus, but I watched both of them. I remember Magnus was so shocked when he realised his feelings, not because they were about Alec, but because he should have realised sooner. I could go on and on telling you how much of an idiot he is. but all that matters now is that both of them are happy and finally married, even though they have been acting like a married couple from the start."
Everyone applauds him, while Magnus turns to Alec to kiss him. It's not their first kiss and it will most definitely not be their last, but it's their most emotional one. They're surrounded by the people they love, and yet all they can see is each other.
-
Alec is 33, Magnus is 35, and they are finally happy.