Work Text:
Loki has a headache.
He catches himself thinking that he's tired, just to the point of madness.
A strange, incomprehensible, creeping filth crawls into his head, right through his left ear. And almost immediately, it starts to throb with pain, either in the back of his head or in his temples. And it's not at all about the excessive strain after a grueling strength training session, and then another two hours of non-stop running at maximum speed on the treadmill.
No. Not at all. Such things are a completely ordinary part of his daily routine, which (with his stamina) would hardly ever become a problem. After all, Julian is gifted by God himself, and can proudly call himself the most talented player of the eleventh generation.
But apparently, fate, so passionately loved by his best friend, unexpectedly decided that he was living too easily in his beautiful existence as a genius. And no, it's not about the little devil who always tried to destroy all the idyll happening in the team. (Because starting to throw shoes at your teammates while they're changing is so much fun, right, Charles?) Ha-ha.
Loki got used to that demon a long time ago. Or rather — he himself chose him with his own hands. He hid him under his wing, because it's impossible to survive in the world without balance, and Chevalier so perfectly balanced the scales of the French players with his disgusting slightly unusual behavior.
Trouble only comes when you least expect it. And who knew that the crack in the temple of their genius national team would spread right along its strongest and most reliable pillar.
Therefore, the silence is cut by a thought understandable to everyone. Funny to the point of madness, and Loki would have definitely laughed out loud if he didn't know it was his own voice. Firm and demanding:
— Number two, what's wrong with you?
***
Comedies, as a rule, take time, because all the humor and the joke are revealed at the very end. So wait.
At first, Loki doesn't pay any attention to it. He, as the captain, is certainly concerned about the condition of his own players, and that's why he always tries to monitor the physical (and psychological) form of each one as thoroughly as possible.
But an entire team is quite a problem, especially if you just happen not to have an extra, let's say, twelve pairs of eyes in your pocket. Julian, unfortunately, only has one pair so far.
And besides, it seems like there's no reason to worry. Charles is behaving relatively quietly — only three times a day does he try to blow up the training hall, drops dumbbells right on their goalkeeper's foot during practice, leaves a huge puddle behind him in the shower, causing Loki to almost slip. And a couple of other things.
According to approximate statistics, this is significantly fewer problems than Chevalier usually causes. Perhaps he's also worried about the upcoming match with Japan.
The calm before the storm is much more likely. However, Loki tries to concentrate on the positive and enjoy the relatively peaceful days as much as he can. Everything is going according to plan. The only thing that irritates a bit and throws him off balance is the score between Japan and Nigeria.
4:0.
"Too many for weaklings" — thinks Julian, frowning. However, he's not going to deny the development of Blue Lock's abilities. Even the "fucking" Isagi — a nasty boy, with an even more asshole-ish character than Itoshi Rin, Shidou Ryusei, and all the sinners of hell from the last two hundred years combined.
Even he, it must be admitted, has improved his skills quite well lately. Not that it's a cause for concern. It's just that Loki — is first and foremost a coach, and he's pleased to see the growth of other players. Even such sweet-but-bastards as Isagi.
Charles goes wild, Loki runs, and Hugo reads. That's roughly how they review all the necessary footage for analyzing the tactics and playing style of their future opponents. Everything is going according to a formula verified by the Almighty himself, but suddenly a mistake occurs — a slight hitch, because of which an unnecessary squiggle appears in the even handwriting of the writer.
A little loop, resembling lightning, in the middle of a cloudless sky.
A curl.
The book lowers slightly, and dark pupils flash from under long eyelashes. They don't burn with interest or delight. These eyes, in general, never burn. But the fact remains a fact.
And Julian, frankly speaking, can't believe what he sees. Hugo gets distracted. Distracted from — his fucking — reading his beloved little book. Loki could swear that if the end of the world happened in an hour, their eternally imperturbable cyborg-midfielder wouldn't take his eyes off his favorite white pages for a second. At most — he'd shrug and say something like: "Well... It was predetermined"
But look away? Even then, Loki becomes confused, but doesn't comment on what happened in any way. When running forty kilometers per hour on a treadmill, it's a bit hard to focus on some small things like "Hugo's top ten reactions to the television". The phrase is more suited for a compilation video on YouTube, where monkeys are alternately shown "Dora the Explorer" and "Tom and Jerry".
Julian stands on the floor, immediately wiping his face with a terry towel. His ears and head hurt, because watching the useless Japanese national team is a relative pleasure. Muscles hum, his head spins, and his throat goes dry, but the question begs itself.
— What do you think, Hugo?
The midfielder shrugs his shoulder, not taking his eyes off the pages.
"Shameless" — thinks Julian. — "He really hasn't lifted his head since the recording started"
However, the thought instantly shatters into pieces. The refutation presents itself. On the screen, a cheerful Japanese face and a little fist raised up appear again.
And... No. Loki hasn't lost his mind. He didn't imagine it: dark pupils briefly, just for a split second, fly up again. And then lower. Like thieves who robbed a bank and are now hiding, in fear of being caught.
Loki should have understood everything back then. Catch the criminals by the tail and knock all the crap out of them properly. But at that moment — he doesn't pay any attention to it. He only raises his eyebrows, noting but not voicing his observations aloud. He watches as long fingers turn another page. And Hugo indifferently utters:
— Mismatch of characteristics.
***
Purgatory. If only he had known that what happened was the start of a new race along a road paved straight into the inferno itself.
However. During the discussion of duty allocation for the match against Blue Lock, specifically who would be marking whom, Hugo is silent. Loki works on the plan himself, which isn't quite typical, because the role of strategist and "shadow" prime minister, who successfully comes up with all the tactics for their team, usually belongs to Hugo.
But he is silent. At first. Hugo stands with his arms crossed over his chest. His face, as usual completely devoid of any emotion, again looks serious, but not tense. Julian, over the course of playing together, has learned to recognize this expression in a second. It means attention. And immersion in the topic.
Hugo never skimps on words, always voicing the flow of his thoughts immediately and directly. Consequently, absolute silence on his part at the moment could only mean... Loki is amazed by his own ideas and how implausible they sound. Hugo doesn't want to say what he's thinking about. He's hiding something. He's definitely hiding something. And even if for the team, the silence of number two seems absolutely normal, for the true genius Julian Loki — it's a novelty.
However, he is too busy and immersed in explaining strategies to react in any way. Hugo interjects into the conversation only when something very much like a name comes up in the discussions. A Japanese name. Loki doesn't even have time to finish his sentence, as a cold timbre quickly interrupts him mid-word. So abruptly and rudely that for a second Julian thinks that even jealously.
No, of course, he could only assume. Only two options: either Hugo was so afraid of the phrase "Isagi Yoichi", or he couldn't stand anyone else uttering the cherished name aloud without permission.
— I'll take him on myself.
Loki frowns. His headache starts to throb a little, but he's used to trusting his faithful number two unquestioningly. Hugo has never given him any particular reason to doubt, and Charles is looking towards the exit too suspiciously, probably already planning not the tactics for the upcoming match, but how to escape as quickly as possible.
Therefore, Loki can only nod and continue to drill Chevalier with a stern glare.
***
Yoichi is an asshole. And this fact, known to Loki for a long, long time, becomes the key point in the realization of the progression of his infernal chariot.
The game seems normal at first. The Japanese defense is no stronger than plywood, as Charles doesn't even have to exert much effort. This is easily understood by his happy, not at all tired expression. Loki looks around. He sees his inspired teammates and is proud that the strategy of creating an ideal environment, in which every Blue Lock player had their own counterbalance, is working.
But the crack spreads further, and Julian finally notices it. Hugo holds Charles on his shoulders, turns around, but not at all towards the team. Not towards the stands, and not even towards the cameras.
The center of attraction of two, as Chevalier usually called them, "black holes", i.e., pupils — is the dark blue head of the Japanese forward. Isagi Yoichi breathes heavily from exhaustion, and Hugo breathes heavily at the sight of Isagi Yoichi.
It must be admitted that Yoichi is quite a handsome guy, but that doesn't mean you can stare at him so brazenly, even during a goal celebration. Loki's head hurts. However, what is happening is even interesting.
---
Everything becomes even too clear when Hugo presses Yoichi against himself with his whole body. Loki barely stops himself from whistling, biting his tongue in time. Hugo doesn't care about touching. Julian is aware of this, because he has known his comrade not for a year or two, but much longer.
Patting on the shoulder, handshakes — something acceptable in their circles, not causing particular rejection or surprise. But when Hugo literally holds an entire body on his hips, pressing almost his lips into someone else's back of the head. Loki hangs in shock and almost misses a counterattack by Itoshi Rin.
His vice-president has turned into..? Into what?
Hugo's eyes — never interested, eternally pointing downwards, hidden behind fluffy eyelashes and mascara, were now wide open, as if the guy had just seen the eighth wonder of the world.
Those same "black holes" narrowed down to atoms and, it seemed, were already ready to expand back a billion times larger — to turn into an immense universe and finally confirm the big bang theory. Hugo is staring at Isagi Yoichi.
Hugo is interested.
Hugo is very, very interested.
Loki thinks he's fallen into hell.
Because watching this picture is painfully funny — maybe a little more and his stomach will definitely burst from suppressed laughter. What's happening is truly amusing, and seeing such a reverent expression on his teammate's face is something new and extremely pleasing to the eye. Everything is on the surface.
After all, Julian is a genius, so it's not particularly hard for him to recognize pure sympathy in quick movements and lingering glances. Therefore, Loki doesn't stop the plot; on the contrary, he continues reading.
---
It's not difficult to understand that Hugo feels something for Isagi Yoichi. But the expression on Isagi's face, constrained in "accidental, definitely-only-needed-for-defending-the-field" embraces, is tense. The Japanese's emotions show not even surprise, but rather disgust.
Loki doesn't know exactly what his midfielder started whispering right into the poor egoist's ear, but it's clearly not fairy tales about jumping ponies and rainbows. Hugo can be understood. After all, he never had a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. No one at all. Julian sometimes justified this rather strange fact (since Hugo is quite a handsome and smart guy) by the absence of a heart as such in someone else's chest.
Over the time they played together, Loki even truly managed to believe that his number two had a little motor instead of a live bloody battery. The joke drags on. The heart, somewhere deep down, was still there, and it seems it's starting to beat faster with every second. This does not negate the lack of any experience whatsoever for the poor guy, always concentrated only on himself and his goals.
Remembering how sometimes Hugo could strain and even annoy with his theories and "philosophy", Julian's jaw shifts to the side. After all, Yoichi doesn't like bores. He's also quite a thorn and an idiot. "Self-proclaimed ideologist and philosopher, trying to impose his beliefs on absolutely everyone".
"Two of a kind" — flashes through Loki's mind when Yoichi angrily pushes away from someone else's chest, and Hugo is still staring at the Japanese striker like a complex math problem he so desperately wants to solve.
---
The entire rest of the game is just as insanely fun. Loki gets the impression that he's watching a rom-com series about the fierce rivalry between two footballers.
Hugo touches Yoichi like a little child who doesn't know where to put his hands. And Isagi bares his teeth, clearly afraid and not understanding what is happening. But the thing is, Hugo doesn't understand either.
He continues to do "something", apparently by instinct, since he is a very smart logistician-virgin. Loki wants to hit himself on the forehead: on the one hand, the game is going well, and he should be happy with the lead in the score, but on the other — Hugo is behaving like a complete idiot.
He scores a goal, so pompously. Completely unlike himself. Definitely not to impress the Japanese striker.
Yes-yes. Julian is almost torn apart, because Hugo doesn't usually show off: he's a very capable guy, also modest. And here he's suddenly turned into a peacock, wagging his tail in front of a potential...
Potential what? Loki finds it obvious. He scans the team and, from the twisted, suppressed-laughing faces, understands that they — do too.
***
In the locker room after the match, Julian notices that Hugo is not behaving as before. The new-gen's silence is not a problem.
Loki, however, is even glad that someone (for the first time, he was ready to stoop to gratitude towards Isagi Yoichi) managed to drain all the vocabulary from his friend and finally shut him up for at least a couple of minutes.
The circles of hell continue, because the midfielder's too-obvious infatuation is just a catalyst. The boiler room starts working precisely thanks to the demons. Charles is smiling too suspiciously. He looks at his phone, sitting in one shoe with his shorts down to his knees, and as Hugo passes by, he comments:
— Didn't know robots had a mating season.
A demon. A real demon. Shidou Ryusei has grown his mini-version in Charles too quickly.
Loki's head hurts very badly. And his stomach. However, if he laughs now, he'll definitely lose his best friend. It's the younger teammate's comment that breaks the silence of the entire PSG squad. The crack that Loki could have easily patched up, Chevalier is picking at with a hammer. And the others support it.
They start whispering, but Hugo turns on autopilot mode again: he looks at his book and doesn't even bat an eye. Probably, in terms of interest — white sheets are still beyond competition. Chevalier falls and sprawls on the bench with his whole body, still not looking away from his mobile phone screen.
— Uuuuh... You were much more talkative with Isagi.
The red inscription announcing defeat appears the same second Hugo hits the little demon on the forehead with his book. Chevalier, clearly not expecting such an attack from the usually extremely calm number two, drops his phone onto his nose.
He squeaks like a cat and jumps up. Loki bites his lip, turns away. He hides the smile that's growing on its own, continuing to put his things in the locker. A whole farce is unfolding behind his back, but he's not obliged to stop it right now. Charles starts cursing. He probably grabs something in his hands, simultaneously falling to the floor and thereby shifting the bench aside. But Hugo is fast and cunning: the characteristic click of a closing door is heard, and after...
A shoe flies into the back of Loki's head. In his ears, a slightly ashamed "Oops... Missed" is heard, and something inside the French new-gen number one begins to boil.
"What a little bastard" — Julian doesn't know who he blames more. Chevalier, who was aiming at their midfielder. Or Hugo himself, who so skillfully avoided punishment. Nevertheless. The fact remains a fact — he's furious. No trace remains of his former mockery.
---
The fourth circle loops back a couple of days later at lunch. Loki even manages to forget about his observations and all the changes in his subordinate's behavior. But Charles conveniently reminds him of everything, with just one phrase:
— Looks like the final transformation into a bio-robot is complete! — he laughs, making faces. — Beep! Beep!
The guy chews on a sandwich, simultaneously picking the cucumbers out of it. Loki wants to scold him for this, but the mention of robotics makes him get distracted. Chevalier is making fun again. It's a normal thing. But, turning his gaze to Hugo, Julian notices that number two hasn't touched his food. Charles, as always, voices his thoughts:
— Boo-oo! Hugo, are you using a detox diet? Or have you switched to solar batteries?
Hugo sits, slightly hunched, resting his chin on his palms. The sun really is falling on him, and on his face is the same expression: absolute concentration.
But on what? Hugo never reads during meals, because "the digestive system, while working, worsens the absorption of information". Loki immediately guesses, or rather — remembers, what's the matter. It's just that he's a little surprised that his teammate hasn't gotten over it yet.
Isagi Yoichi managed to ruin everything even here. Although the pensive Hugo is pathetically absurd. And Loki again decides not to interfere. He just sternly looks at Charles, mentally transmitting the order — to finish eating, cucumbers too.
Unexpectedly, Hugo lightly slaps the table and stands up.
— I'll go read. — he says, and it's a duty phrase that shouldn't raise questions. But Charles — is Charles. And therefore, from Chevalier's mouth flies out:
— I bet, if you had access to all the participants' dossiers, like Loki, you would gladly use a photo of Isagi Yoichi as a bookmark.
A sharp and biting remark. Julian knows that demons can be cruel, but to this extent... To directly announce changes in someone else's behavior... And even naming the reason... Loki throws a quick glance at Hugo's back.
The face isn't visible, so it remains only to guess the further outcome of events: either number two will just click his tongue as usual, or Charles will be left without a head. Hugo doesn't start denying anything. He doesn't get surprised and doesn't even get embarrassed, for fuck's sake.
He just looks back, raises one eyebrow, addressing now clearly not Charles:
— Do you have access to other people's dossiers?
***
Hugo — is a block of wood. A funny Pinocchio, whose nose grew stupidly long because of lies. Loki feels like Papa Carlo, trying to cheer up an absurd log. Loki likes it when his players think. But now Hugo is immersing himself in his thoughts suspiciously often, and right during training.
Sometimes he looks as if he's been put on pause or someone forgot to wind him up with a wrench. This is the fifth, sixth, and seventh circles of hell together. After all, Julian naively believed that if he did manage to procure the ill-fated dossier of one Japanese striker, along with his phone number, Hugo would get back to work.
But the desired only slows down the data loading process, because Hugo isn't writing to Isagi. Here it is — the real inferno: several evenings in a row watching the poor number two either type a message (in English, of course), then delete it.
In principle, Loki shouldn't have expected any decisive action from his friend. He tries to cheer up Hugo, reminding him about that very "fate".
— What's wrong with you, number two?
But he doesn't take into account the fact that Isagi Yoichi is a trigger, for whom all the rules of logic go to hell. Stupid Isagi Yoichi. The little detail that unsettled the most cohesive element of the French national team.
But not to say that Loki could be angry at this boy. Hugo in love is quite interesting. It's very funny to see his emotional turmoil, because Julian suffered about the same in middle school over a girl from the parallel class.
When Hugo, on the third day, finally decides on the cherished: "Hello". In response, it's not at all a sweet mutual "Hello!" or a relatively neutral question: "Do I know you?". Not even the most banal ignoring.
Logic truly did not obey its own laws next to Isagi Yoichi.
"Charles, if you think that by writing to me from a second phone, your joke can continue, then you are terribly mistaken!"
And then: "This is NOT funny".
Of course, Loki finds out about this only in the process of breaking up a fight between his two most capable players. Julian's head starts to hurt again when it turns out that Charles has his own connections: "kind Shidou-san" generously shared Isagi's number with him. And the French devil decided that it would be extremely fun to chat with the Blue Lock ace on behalf of Hugo.
To tell the truth, Loki almost snorts at such a confession. But Hugo looks too dangerous, so for his own well-being, Julian keeps a straight face.
— You should thank me. — declares Charles, shaking his head.
This phrase is supposed to serve as justification for his actions. Although it's extremely difficult to adequately explain such a mean joke. In the situation, Loki feels most sorry for Isagi.
After all, communicating for two whole days with a pseudo-Hugo is a real nightmare. They'll all burn in hell together.
Number two is clearly ready to die of despair: barely noticeable wrinkles appear between his black brows, and his lips curl in displeasure.
These sparse emotions are enough to understand that Hugo is furious. Loki is afraid to assume how such a shock might affect his vice-president's already sluggish game, so number one decides to take matters into his own hands.
That same day, he drags Charles almost by the scruff of his neck to the Blue Lock hotel and forces the little devil to explain himself in person. Chevalier, not without bickering, confesses his sins, but it doesn't look like a sacrament. It's more like an explanatory note from a junior student who put a thumbtack on the teacher's chair.
Isagi, surprisingly, reacts calmly and even bows himself, also asking for forgiveness, though it's not clear for what. This behavior truly comes as a revelation to the French captain, because now Yoichi doesn't look like a selfish asshole at all. More like... an ordinary person?
Okay. A very polite person. Hugo (who, by the way, did decide to come with them) stands nearby like a shadow. He's frozen again: Isagi Yoichi is too close, which means the mechanism for his ability to think straight is again out of order.
Loki hopes their trio doesn't look too frightening in Isagi's eyes. The last thing they need is to disgrace themselves (for the umpteenth time). However, Chevalier feels no shame. He just rolls his eyes at all of Julian's phrases "about bad behavior", and alternately asks:
— Where is Shidou-san?
For which he alternately receives light slaps on the back of the head from the same captain. Isagi scratches the back of his head, still politely waving away all the apologies:
— Don't worry. It's alright, honestly, I immediately guessed it wasn't Hugo. — He pauses, shakes his head uncertainly. — I don't think Hugo would ever talk to me... — a blush appears on his cheeks. — Like that.
What exactly "like that" means, remains to be guessed. Julian can easily assume "without a million grammatical mistakes", but he doesn't dare voice his thoughts. He laughs at his own joke in proud solitude, to himself.
But Hugo immediately lights up like a match. He probably also notices the Japanese's embarrassment, so he immediately interjects:
— Yoichi.. — he says in such a voice that Loki's eyebrows fly up and his lower jaw drops almost to the floor. And to hide his amazement, he has to turn away. So, he again runs into the absolutely identical to his own amazed gaze of Chevalier.
They exchange glances and simultaneously turn their heads back. In front of them is not a picture, but a whole plot. Hugo — true steel by nature, the armor protecting Julian from all adversities and a loyal servant, suddenly begins to slowly melt, spreading into crumpled explanations and justifications.
— Um... I... Forgive me. — Now this, until recently something that Loki called a teammate, resembles a blob of mercury.
— Oh.. What are you! I'm not angry at all!
Isagi looks even stranger.
In general — everything that's happening is inexplicable!
After all, Hugo is a logistician, a terrible, cruel knight who enslaves all enemies with his philosophy. He is hard, cold, and imperturbable. Isagi, on the other hand, is a fucking egotistical monster, with a tongue as sharp as a knife. He devours everyone who stands in his way.
These two images, firmly imprinted in the depths of Julian's consciousness, suddenly collapse. Because Isagi's cheeks are devilishly hot, and Hugo is fidgeting, wringing his fingers, and endlessly apologizing. Loki feels like the only adult in this room.
Charles reminds them of himself with a pleased hum. Right. He's here too. By the gloating expression on his face, it's not hard to guess — the demon is already noticing new victims. And to avoid another unnecessary awkward situation, Julian takes matters into his own hands.
In the literal sense: he grabs Chevalier by the scruff of his neck and quietly retreats, because Hugo is a grown boy and can handle the object of his affection himself. Charles whines that he wants to "finish watching his recently favorite series".
Surprising himself, Loki realizes that he himself wouldn't mind watching the unfolding comedy, but his status as an authority in someone else's eyes is more valuable — they stubbornly continue walking towards the exit.
***
It comes to a date.
Hugo admits this almost immediately, probably out of habit. Mentally, Loki rejoices, because communicating with Isagi Yoichi has indeed benefited the midfielder — Hugo has finally started giving his all in training again.
Now Hugo pours his endless stream of words directly into Isagi's private messages. Yoichi even manages to reply to all of it, so in the team, among other things, it's become at least a little quieter. (Shutting Charles up is something beyond the realm of possibility). In principle, Loki can say that Isagi is having a beneficial effect on his new-gen.
Because Hugo now even smiles more openly, eats normally, and increasingly indifferently ignores jokes from his teammates. Julian can finally sleep a little more peacefully, because now Isagi has unknowingly placed part of the responsibility for his player on his own shoulders. Besides, as previously mentioned, Hugo in love even almost resembles a normal person.
Feelings don't hinder his logic at all, but on the contrary, intertwine with it and help him improve. On the evening before that very "date", Hugo makes him and Charles dye his hair roots. Chevalier, of course, was close to mixing a black toner into the crimson color, but, thank God, Loki already had a sixth sense for all the tricks of this little devil.
Before leaving, Hugo spends a very long time applying mascara, which immediately reminds the captain of an anxious girl before meeting her internet boyfriend. It's extremely funny, but Loki is still laughing only to himself.
After all, you can't undermine the self-esteem of someone who's just one step behind.
***
But the floors of hell don't end. Chevalier brings Julian down from heaven to earth on his damn elevator, namely straight to the eighth circle.
How? With his absence.
Only half an hour after Hugo left, Loki notices that someone else is missing. One annoying, extremely problematic, and irritating horned little boy. Too quiet and calm. That doesn't happen in the French national team. Loki almost hits himself on the forehead.
First, he searches the entire PSG building in a panic, then tries to call Chevalier. All fifteen times, he's rejected. And Loki is honored only with a short message in the messenger: "Shhh... I'm in ambush😈"
And that turns out to be enough for Loki to realize what's what. It only takes him fifteen minutes to get to the destination. And no, not thanks to his insanely fast legs.
For special occasions, Julian preferred to use a taxi. Task: "Find Charles in the restaurant" is not particularly difficult, because Loki has developed a special detector over time for finding that light shock of hair. Chevalier sits by the window at a table, reading a huge upside-down newspaper.
The disguise is at the level of a true professional, so Loki only needs five seconds to uncover it. Noticing the captain, Charles doesn't get scared or surprised. He quickly grabs Loki's hand and sits him down next to him, now covering both of them with that ill-fated paper. Julian feels his nerve cells slowly dying, as the spasms in his temples strike with renewed vigor. He tiredly rubs the bridge of his nose, already preparing to scold his subordinate, but Charles pulls him back again, putting his index finger to his lips.
The question: "What the fuck?!" — hangs in the air. And Chevalier slowly nods somewhere into the distance — to the very end of the hall. Loki tries to focus his vision and realizes that all his guesses were correct.
Hugo is sitting at the table with Isagi. Not just sitting. They're having dinner together. Isagi is eating some salad, simultaneously talking about something obviously extremely interesting, because the untouched plate of spaghetti is still lying in front of the French midfielder. Hugo doesn't need it. He's devouring Yoichi himself. With his gaze. With his gaze, of course.
Although Loki could quite believe that Hugo would gladly gobble up the entire Japanese whole. The midfielder says something in response, and Yoichi laughs heartily, slightly covering his mouth with his hand. Laughter is heard right near Loki's own ear, but it's not from the Japanese.
It's just Chevalier:
— See? Now our Mr. Logic will fly up with happiness.
Julian almost laughs in response, but quickly remembers his status as the "adult", so he gives Charles an extremely stern and maximally disapproving look, saying through gritted teeth in a whisper:
— It's bad to spy.
— And I'm not spying. — Charles replies with a slight smile. — I'm eating.
He points to a portion of candy that had been sitting right on their table all this time, and before the captain can start his parable again "about the terrible harm of fast food and sweets", Charles shoves a whole handful into his mouth:
— How long do you think it'll take Hugo to decide to put his hand on Isagi's?
Loki stops himself. Willy-nilly, he turns his head back to the objects of observation and looks even more closely. Indeed: the fingers of the two players lie on the table in dangerous proximity.
If Hugo wanted, he could cover someone else's palm with his own. Or, for example, intertwine their fingers. Lock them together. Julian knows that he is the captain. That he shouldn't encourage mockery of his own teammates and spying on them. And especially doing it himself is the height of irresponsibility.
However, contrary to everything, he succumbs to such a tempting temptation: he also takes a couple of candies and answers, flipping their shared newspaper one hundred and eighty degrees for cover:
— Bet on seven minutes.
Charles laughs, clutching his edge of the thin paper, and whispers:
— Nah. At least an hour here.
***
The eighth circle of hell turns out to be too pleasant, because Loki succumbed to sin and fell. Who knew that sitting for an hour and a half at a table playing the "Believe it or not" game with Satan himself could be so much fun?
— Oh... Who does that. — whispers Julian slightly disappointed at the moment when Hugo finally covers someone else's fingers with his own hand. — More confident. More confident!
Chevalier clicks his tongue in agreement:
— Yeah... Our android isn't following the algorithm at all.
Loki snorts:
— Which one?
Chevalier grins slyly, graciously granting the captain the smile of a true Cheshire cat.
— What about the "Dating for Dummies" guide he was reading for the last twenty-four hours?
— Oh no.. Seriously? — Julian can't contain his laughter.
Chevalier takes a sip of his cola and nods too smugly.
— Uh-huh. Well, who else would help our poor fellow...
Wait! Charles sharply turns his head back and starts squealing enthusiastically:
— Look! Look! — the guy can't sit still, just keeps nodding towards their observation objects. — Now it's gonna get interesting!
Loki thinks the continuation of the series should be something like: "Will Hugo pay for both of them or suggest splitting the bill?".
Julian sincerely hopes that the laws of logic will not allow their midfielder to choose the second (the only wrong) option. But everything goes completely differently. A clumsy waiter manages to trip right in front of the sweet couple's table and spill some blue cocktail all over Hugo.
Loki doubles over with laughter, almost falling face-first onto the table, and Charles starts laughing like crazy into his captain's shoulder. The little newspaper shakes in time with them. Meanwhile, at the other end of the hall, a complete farce is unfolding: the waiter apologizes, Isagi starts actively arguing with him, and Hugo looks a bit puzzled, as if he didn't expect such irony from fate at all. He nods, as Loki guesses, as a sign of apology.
Yoichi says something too, perhaps clarifying if Hugo needs help, but in response, the midfielder just smiles softly and heads to the restroom.
— What a hoot! — whispers Charles, and Julian suddenly realizes. "Now it's gonna get interesting!" — someone else's words hang in his mind. The devil smiles.
Loki understands that everything went exactly according to plan. The plan of that little tyrant!
— Did you set this up?
— Yep. Waiters can do a lot for a good tip.
Now Loki frowns. Chevalier has apparently forgotten who he’s talking to. The status of coach and captain rises to the forefront again, so Julian simply must scold his friend.
Charles beats him to it:
— Oh, come on! It was funny, wasn’t it?
Loki thinks it really was an amusing situation. But right now Isagi is sitting alone at the table looking like a lost kitten. After all, this is his and Hugo’s first date — everything should have gone perfectly.
At least, that’s what his friend was counting on.
Loki finally gives Charles a slap on the back of the head. But he doesn’t rush to drag him out of the restaurant.
He needs to see the comedy through to the end.
***
The ninth circle of hell begins when Loki realises that more than ten minutes have passed since Hugo left. And the midfielder still hasn’t returned.
That is completely out of character for him. Hugo is never late: he’s far too punctual, and besides, he could deal with a fucking stained shirt in ten seconds flat.
After fifteen minutes, Isagi can’t take it anymore, and Loki can understand him. Yoichi calls over the waiter — the same one who spilled the drink on Hugo earlier — and probably asks him something.
He gets up and walks off in the same direction the French midfielder went a few minutes ago.
Another ten minutes pass.
The table at the far end of the hall is empty.
Julian says thoughtfully:
— They’ve both disappeared.
Chevalier just finishes his cola and, wiping his mouth with a napkin, announces:
— Yep. Let’s go.
Loki can’t believe his ears.
— What?
— I said, let’s go-oh-oh. — Charles repeats in that stupid whiny voice of his. — The show will continue at the hotel.
Julian receives a premonition from above that something isn’t right here, so he lightly folds his arms across his chest and stares straight into his subordinate’s yellow eyes with the most interrogative look in the world.
— What did you do? — Loki says sternly, raising an eyebrow.
Chevalier twists his head.
— What did you do? — the captain repeats, like an exorcist trying to drive out a disobedient demon.
Chevalier still resists. He stubbornly stays silent, turning away. Loki’s head starts to hurt again, but giving up is absolutely not in his nature.
— What. Did. You. Do. — his tone resembles that of a true dictator, and that’s when Charles waves the white flag.
— Well… Let’s say… Purely theoretically… I could have paid the waiter to not only put on a show with the drinks…
Loki raises an eyebrow inquisitively.
If even a drop of water gets into the mechanism, the device immediately breaks down. Probably something like that was what the little imp had planned.
— Possibly… He pointed them in the wrong direction…
— So where are they now? — Loki crosses his legs, still cursing himself for his own stupidity. How could he ever believe that any of Chevalier’s ideas would end well?!
— How should I know? — Charles sticks out his tongue, making a ridiculous face. — Besides, nothing’s happened yet… It’s the perfect time to leave!
Chevalier almost manages to stand up, but the coach’s firm hand catches him by the scruff of the neck. The ninth circle of hell awaits, and Julian is now ready to descend all the way to the bottom himself.
***
All in all, Loki (not without difficulty) first deals with his disobedient subordinate, and then with the irresponsible, rule-breaking waiter.
It turns out that Hugo and Isagi were sent to a disused staff room.
The question remains: why didn’t the objects of observation ever return to the table? Loki pulls the door handle, but it doesn’t give. From the other side, a strange noise is immediately heard — like boxes falling to the floor — followed by quiet whispering.
— Yes! We’re in here! — says Isagi.
It immediately becomes clear to everyone what’s going on. Loki makes a deal with the waiter for mutual silence — no one will find out about the incident involving a minor illegally paying for dubious services, and in return, Hugo and Isagi will remain unaware that anyone was watching them at all.
A deal is a deal. Loki and Charles manage to start discreetly retreating to a safe place.
Julian and Charles are almost out of the establishment when the storage room door finally swings open and out come…
He can’t believe his own eyes. Charles’s eye sockets also turn into two wide saucers.
What’s happening borders on the absurd, because Hugo’s hair is completely dishevelled, the first three buttons of his collar are undone, and the edges of his shirt are carelessly tucked into his trousers.
Isagi looks no better. He’s standing behind the midfielder, trembling in a way that’s completely unlike him. The Japanese boy’s hair is in exactly the same state of chaos, as if someone had run their hand through it several times, and his jacket is only half buttoned.
These two are truly “two peas in a pod.” Loki stares at his midfielder and understands everything. Despite his headache, a smile spreads across his lips — because Hugo, for fuck’s sake, looks like the Tin Woodman to whom the Wizard of Oz finally gave a plush, beating heart.
Beating, hot, tapping out the cherished Morse code.
***
Outside, they are silent. Chevalier probably realises he’s going to get it big time for such a stunt as soon as they return to the hotel. At minimum, three extra sets of passing drills and five laps around the stadium at a jog.
Although after such a performance, Loki catches himself thinking that he doesn’t really feel like scolding or punishing anyone.
— I didn’t pay for the door jamming, by the way… — Charles says quietly, breaking the silence, and Julian for some reason believes him.