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“Sorry, but my answer is no.”
Itto gives Heizou a desperate look. He claps his hands together and bends over in a deep bow. “Come on, please? I really need to find out who she is!”
It’s no secret that Itto is Ms. Hina’s number one fan. Still, Heizou did not expect to be accosted outside the Tenryou Commission with demands to take a case. Admiration truly has no bounds, it seems. If there’s any good news, it’s that Heizou can say with full confidence that Itto falls solidly on the harmless end of the spectrum of obsessive fans.
“This isn’t the type of case I normally handle. I’m sorry, but I can’t accept,” he says. “Why not ask the Bantan Sango Detective Agency? I’m sure they can help you.”
“But you’re the best detective in all of Inazuma!” Itto pleads. He hunches over dramatically, hands over his heart. “I wouldn’t trust anyone else with this.”
Heizou sighs. “Look, Itto. I’m sure there’s a reason Ms. Hina hides her identity. You wouldn’t want to bother her, right?”
“No!” Itto draws back, eyes wide. “I just want to meet her one time. I promise, I’ll be on my best behaviour. Please, help a guy out?”
“What if she’s not like you expect? Maybe she’s different in real life.”
“Someone as kind and smart as her has to be an amazing person!”
“What if she’s not pretty?”
“Ms. Hina will always be beautiful to me!” Itto puts his hands on his hips and nods resolutely.
Heizou blinks at him. Itto blinks back.
“Is it a money thing? I can pay, I swear.”
Clearly, Itto has no intentions of giving up. And Heizou doesn’t know how long he’s willing to debate with him on the street like this. They’re already beginning to draw a crowd, soldiers and civilians alike watching them out of the corners of their eyes. Continuing to drag this out would just cause problems for everyone.
“…fine.” Heizou pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll take it.”
Itto’s face lights up. “Really? Thanks man, you’re the best!” He grabs Heizou’s hand in a crushing grip and shakes it violently.
Heizou can see him vibrating with excitement as he walks away. Itto practically dances down the street. Maybe this wasn’t the best decision he’s ever made, but dealing with an insistent oni first thing in the morning does not inspire logical thinking.
He just hopes this doesn’t tarnish his reputation as a serious detective.
Heizou waits under a tree, just a short distance away from the back exit of the Yae Publishing House.
Initial research had been light work. Laughably easy, compared to his other cases. It took no more than a few minutes of flipping through cheap magazines to find all he needed to know.
Need advice from Ms. Hina? Send your letters to the Yae Publishing House by the 21st to appear in next month’s edition of That’s Life!
Heizou has no need for advice, but he’s grateful for the information all the same.
He chews on a stick of dango and flips through a light novel. His eyes barely skim the pages, real focus on the exit in his peripheral vision. The only purpose the book serves is to help him fit in with the crowd. He won’t go as far as swarming the Ms. Hina cutout, however. Quite frankly, her cult following is beginning to rival that of the Shogun’s.
Even then, he can’t deny that it’s nice to relax with a snack for once. An easy case like this gives him a rare break from his usual heavy workload. It’s almost like a vacation.
It’s still not a vacation, though. Heizou bites the last of the dango off the stick as he finally spots motion at the back exit. A delivery woman—with cat ears?—speaks with a man leaning out the door. He hands her a stack of letters, neatly tied-up with string. She places them in a side bag and thanks the man with a bow.
Heizou puts his book away and stands up. There’s still work to be done, low stakes as it is.
He trails the delivery woman, keeping a careful distance between the two of them. He follows her all the way through the city to a small restaurant he recognizes. Doubling as an inn, it’s a popular spot among foreign visitors.
He slips in behind her when she enters. Stepping off to the side, he makes sure to remain out of her sight as he tracks her path to the intended recipient of the letters. She walks swiftly to a booth at the back and deposits the whole stack of letters on the table. Bingo.
Smoothly, he weaves through the tables, heading towards the back. The delivery woman passes him without a glance.
The occupant of the booth remains hidden as he approaches. Still, his keen ears pick up the sounds of paper shuffling and a quill scratching. The occupant mumbles to themself. Deliberating over a response?
“Good afternoon,” Heizou says, taking a seat on the other side of the table. “Would you happen to be Ms. Hina?”
Gorou, famed general of the Watatsumi Army, rips a hole in the paper with his quill.
Heizou’s not surprised. In fact, it confirms a suspicion that’s been brewing in his mind since he arrived at the Yae Publishing House. He wonders how it hasn’t been noticed that Ms. Hina’s cutout bears a striking resemblance to a certain resistance leader. Maybe it’s a lack of interest in politics among the general populace.
Gorou gives a strained laugh, face frozen in a pinched expression. His hand covers the letter he’d been writing, delicate paper crumpling in his grip. “Could you keep your voice down a little?”
“I’ll take that as confirmation.” Smoothly, Heizou pries the quill and paper out of Gorou’s clenched hands. “Let me introduce myself. I’m Shikanoin Heizou, a detective with the Tenryou Commission. I don’t believe we’ve met before.”
“Gorou, General of the Watatsumi Army,” Gorou replies.
“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Heizou flattens out the crumpled letter, folds it neatly into a square and stacks the pen on top like a paperweight. Gorou watches his methodical movements, shifting awkwardly in the painful silence.
“If I may ask,” Gorou begins, “what business does a Tenryou Commission detective have with me?”
Heizou chuckles. “If we’re being technical, my business is with Ms. Hina. It’s just a matter of coincidence that you and her happen to be one and the same. You see, I’ve been tasked with finding her and requesting an audience for my client.”
“This doesn’t sound like government work.”
Heizou sighs. “Are you familiar with a certain Arataki Itto? He’s a big fan of yours.”
“Ah.” Gorou winces. “I’m familiar, yes. So he’s commissioned you for this? I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do than chase down an advice columnist.”
“He can be quite persuasive.”
Gorou’s lips twist. He exhales heavily, closing his eyes for a brief moment. “Well, he can’t find out about me.”
He turns his head to the side and looks at Heizou out of the corner of his eyes, a flush rising on his cheeks. “God, what was Yae Miko thinking? I like writing the letters, I really do. But being Ms. Hina is… embarrassing. I don’t know what I’d do if people found out.”
Heizou nods. “I understand. Still, he’s going to keep asking.”
“Look, I’ve heard about you; you’re a prodigy detective. Can’t you come up with something to make him quit? He doesn’t need to know who I am. Just give him a good reason for why we can’t meet.”
“I can’t promise anything, but I can try.”
“That’s all I ask.”
Heizou’s mind runs through ideas. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince Itto. He’s had tougher challenges.
He claps his hands and stands up. “Well then, I believe we’re done here. I’d say ‘see you soon,’ but I get the feeling that it wouldn’t mean anything good for either of us.”
Gorou laughs, although there’s a strained undercurrent to it still. “The sentiment is appreciated.”
Heizou nods. He strides out of the booth, swiftly weaving past the restaurant tables. Behind him, he hears Gorou’s quill resume scratching against a sheet of paper.
He steps through the curtain covering the entrance, squinting as his eyes adjust to the bright light. The sun is high in the sky, the streets are bustling, and he’s got an oni to track down.
Locating Itto is easy. He’s in Hanamizaka, by Naganohara Fireworks, waving around a fistful of sparklers, surrounded by a group of excited children. He hands out the thin sticks, tossing them to the children with a flourish. Sparks fly through the air, burning bright and then fizzling out. It’s a magical display.
It also looks like a massive fire hazard. Heizou walks up to Itto, putting a hand on his arm as he makes to throw the final sparkler. He takes it from Itto’s fist, calmly handing it to a young boy.
“Oh, hey Heizou!” Itto grins. “What’s up?”
“I’ve got an update for you about your case.”
Itto’s face lights up. He turns to Heizou, gaze boring into him. The weight of his attention is overbearing. “Really? So? What did she say?”
“I’m sorry.” Heizou crosses his arms and shakes his head. He sees Itto’s expression drop. “You won’t be able to meet her.”
“Why not?”
Heizou pulls out his notepad, flipping to a page of falsified investigation notes. “My sources say she lives in Liyue. Not anywhere near Inazuma, unfortunately.”
Strangely, Itto’s mood seems to improve. He straightens up with what Heizou would call renewed hope, although he’s not sure why. “Do you know where in Liyue?”
“Uh…” Heizou reaches for the first city to come to his mind. “Well, Liyue Harbor, I would assume.”
Itto nods. He stares into the distance, towards Ritou. “Thanks, man! How much do I owe you?”
Heizou stops Itto from pulling out his wallet. “Consider it a favour.”
“Really? Thanks again! You’re the best!” Itto pats him on the back, knocking the wind out of Heizou’s lungs. He runs off, disappearing down the street.
Heizou watches his figure shrink into the distance. That was easy. Too easy. Call it a detective’s intuition, but he suspects something’s going on with Itto.
Anyways, it’s not his problem. He’s done his part and thrown Itto off Gorou’s trail. As long as Itto’s occupied, it’s case closed.
Gorou strolls along the docks, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of Ritou. The ocean here reminds him of Watatsumi Island, but it’s impossible to ignore the presence of the Shogunate.
Ritou is Inazuma’s international entry point, so the small village is always crowded with foreigners. Noise is a part of daily life here, so Gorou pays it no attention when he hears a commotion further along the boardwalk.
That is, until he hears a familiar voice, shouting above the rest.
“I swear! It was right here in my pocket!”
Sure enough, Itto is there, pleading with a Liyuen man standing next to a boat. He turns his pockets inside out and looks around frantically, eyes scanning the ground.
“No ticket, no travel.” The man crosses his arms and shakes his head.
“But I have a ticket! I do!” Itto insists. “I’m sure it’s here somewhere, it must have fallen out of my pocket…”
He gets down on the ground and starts crawling around for the ticket. The small crowd that had formed around them backs away quickly, shoes dancing away from Itto’s scrabbling hands.
Gorou can’t keep the pained look off his face. It’s probably best to keep walking and pretend he didn’t see anything, but his sense of duty won’t allow him to let Itto continue to embarrass himself like this.
“Itto, please get up,” he says, breaking through the crowd. “What’s going on?”
“Huh?” Itto looks up at him from the ground. “Oh, you’re that guy from the resistance! General Gorou!”
“That’s me,” he replies. He holds out a hand for Itto that he accepts, pulling him to his feet. “Why are you trying to get on this boat?”
Itto huffs. “Detective Heizou told me that Ms. Hina lives in Liyue. I’m going to visit her, but this guy won’t let me on the boat!”
Itto straightens up and turns to the boat’s captain, ready to launch into another series of protests. Quickly, Gorou steps in between them, defusing the argument before it begins.
“Let’s all calm down now.” He holds up his hands placatingly. “Itto, there’s no need to go to Liyue.”
“But Heizou told me she was there.”
“He was… mistaken,” Gorou says. “It’s her contract. She’s forbidden from meeting with fans.”
Not his best excuse, but it will have to do. Itto stares at him blankly for a moment before accepting the statement. His face twists up angrily again, although this time it’s not directed at the captain.
“How could they do this to her?” he cries, ticket all but forgotten. “This isn’t fair!”
And like that, Itto’s storming away from the docks, a crisis averted. Gorou has a good idea of where he’s headed to cause more trouble. Still, he’s not concerned.
Consider it karma for that fox.
Gorou’s chatting idly with Heizou outside the Tenryou Commission when he sees the bane of his existence approaching from down the street.
“You must make him stop,” Yae Miko says, commanding their attention. “He’s been pestering me all week about a certain ‘contract.’”
It’s telling that they understand who she’s referring to without a name. They shrink in fear, cowering under the weight of her knowing gaze. She singles out Gorou, staring into his soul with a sly smirk on her lips.
“I’ll take care of it.” Gorou nods, swallowing down any protest.
“Good.” She turns away dramatically, robes swishing behind her. “At the very least, it’s been pleasing to see the results of my marketing.”
Gorou has no response. He slumps over, sighing heavily. Heizou pats his back in an effort to console him, although it has little effect.
“What else can we do? We’ve tried it all,” Gorou says. “Maybe I should just tell him the truth.”
“I suppose there’s no other option,” Heizou replies with a similar tone of dejection. “Let’s go, then. It won’t be hard to find him.”
Gorou nods, and the two of them set off for the Yae Publishing House, where Itto’s sure to be. Heizou shakes his head as they walk. How could such a simple mission have ended in failure? Changing an oni’s mind is impossible, it seems.
“Itto?” Gorou calls out when they find him camped outside the publishing house as expected. None of the staff are speaking to him. In fact, they seem to be ignoring his existence entirely.
“I have something to tell you,” he says.
“Hey, Gorou, Heizou! What a coincidence.” Itto waves. “I’m a little busy right now though, so we’ll have to talk later. You guys haven’t seen Yae Miko around, have you?”
“Uh, no,” Heizou replies. “Look, I think you should hear Gorou out. It’s important.”
Itto tilts his head. “Okay, what is it?”
Gorou closes his eyes. Better to rip the bandage off quickly. “I’m Ms. Hina.”
“Huh?”
“Ms. Hina. She’s me.”
Itto blinks. He looks at Gorou, then at the cutout of Ms. Hina displayed outside the publishing house. One, two, three seconds pass, and Gorou sees something click in Itto’s mind. He braces for his reaction—surely it won’t be good—and is unpleasantly surprised when Itto… starts laughing?
“Oh, that’s a good joke!” Itto cackles. He wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. “I didn’t know you were so funny. But really, it’s okay.”
Heizou looks at him quizzically. “What’s okay?”
“You should have just told me you couldn’t find Ms. Hina! Even you can’t solve every case, Heizou.” Itto puts a hand on Heizou’s shoulder. “But Arataki ‘The One and Oni’ Itto never gives up! I’ll keep looking until I find her!”
In what seems to be a recurring pattern, Itto nods before confidently striding away into the city. Is he going to seek out Yae Miko? Ms. Hina? The infamous Arataki Gang? Who knows. Not Heizou, that’s for sure.
He looks at Gorou to find him staring towards Itto’s retreating figure with a similar expression of disbelief.
“What just happened?” Heizou asks.
“I don’t know.” Gorou shakes his head. “Well, at least he’ll stop bothering you now.”
Heizou hopes so.