Chapter Text
“Come Zackary, we have a meeting to attend.” Sephiroth stated as he rose from behind his desk, appearing as magnanimous as a phoenix.
Albeit a very tall phoenix.
“What? Meeting? What kind of meeting?” Zack was very confused indeed, meetings were normally the domain of, well, not him.
“Just do as I say.” Sephiroth groaned as he strode towards the office door.
“But meetings are for you… And, and, and important people.”
“Are you implying that I am not important, Zackary?” The General summoned half the oxygen in the room straight into his nostrils as though just waiting for his Second to deliver the wrong answer.
“No! I just meant….” Only, what the soldier meant, the General would never know as Tseng strode into the silver hair man's office, behind him, sauntered a notorious, self satisfied redhead.
“Reno?”
“The one and only!”
“What’s this about?” Zack's eyes darted between Sephiroth and Tseng.
“You'll see.” Sephiroth groaned, giving Tseng a curt nod before leading the way out of the office.
“Do you know what this is about?” Zack whispered to the lagging redhead.
“Nope!”
“But I thought intel was your bread and butter.” Zack whined as though he were the only puppy who didn't get a treat.
“Shut up Zack.” Reno groaned as an undeniable sense of agitation and apprehension grew in his heart. Maybe he was annoyed at having been left in the dark too.
“Do you think we're in trouble?” Zack continued to speculate as though the redhead hadn't just told him to shut up.
Tseng led the way upstairs until they stood before Rufus’s office.
“Hey, you know Reno, the last time we were here was when…”
“Shut up Zack.” Reno spat through his teeth. He certainly didn't need to hear another rendition of him posing naked on Rufus’s desk with a gun between his thighs.
Oh Gaia it sounded even worse this time round as he visibly grimaced at the memory.
“Take a seat.” Tseng announced as he pointed to an assortment of chairs scattered around a long table.
“What's this all about?” This time it was Sephiroth asking the question. Reno's eyes darted to Zack's, whose orbs were infused with even more confusion than his own.
He had been under the impression that the Great General Sephiroth was fully apprised of this ‘situation’.
Clearly not.
Maybe he wasn't important after all.
Rufus Shinra sat down at the head of the table, his hands clasped together under his chin as his cerulean eyes searched all sets upon him.
This must be serious.
“Don Corneo is getting on my nerves and I want him gone.” Rufus stated matter of factly.
“Wait, do you mean…?” Reno began before stalling as the silence appeared to answer his very question.
“You two are to infiltrate his bridal auditions and…” Rufus began again, his eyes darting between Reno and Zack as he leaned over the board room table.
“Take care of him.”
“So…. You mean we dress up as girls and…” Zack tilted his head as though the idea were a foreign concept. Though, it really shouldn't have been.
“Correct.”
An amused smirk resided over Sephiroth's lips, his emerald eyes darted between Reno and Zack as though they were lambs being thrown to the lions.
Though they were hardly innocent.
This was one mission he was fine to be left out of.
“Shame Reno.” Sephiroth muttered loud enough for the redhead, yet tactile enough to elude the Vice President’s ears.
Is that right?
Two can play this game.
Reno saw Sephiroth's smirk and raised him.
“Mr Vice President Sir, it is my understanding that there are usually three contestants in Corneo's auditions.” Reno grinned as he lazily leaned back in his seat, seemingly one step away from tossing his feet up onto the table.
Zack raised an eyebrow at the redhead, as though wondering how he knew so much about Don Corneo's auditions.
This whole thing was well out of his sphere of experience.
“I am aware of this fact, Reno.” Rufus took a deep breath before forcing the sigh from his lips.
“However, I have yet to decide who the third contestant will be.”
“Well, I can think of someone.” Reno smirked as his eyes fell upon Sephiroth.
If looks could kill.
“Sephiroth is too well known.” Rufus sighed as though he had already considered this option and decided against it.
“Hmm…” Reno tapped his finger against his cheek, as though contemplating who he knew that would agree to such a ghastly mission.
Cloud? Too innocent. Though this would be a good lesson in how to be bad.
Vincent? He is an ex Turk… But not officially employed by Shinra…
Tseng…?
Reno glanced over his shoulder at the man, as though attempting to visualize a more feminine version of the man.
Hmm…
No.
Tseng caught his eye, held within his dark orbs was the promise of reckoning if he opened his lips.
“I will utilize the General if I am unable to find another suitable candidate.” The Vice President sighed as though unsatisfied if this should be the outcome.
“You know, I reckon ol’ Donny boy would so be into being dominated. Who better to administer punishment than the master of leather himself.” Reno goaded as his eyes returned to Sephiroth.
The General was not impressed and made no effort to disguise this fact. The man's eyes conveyed but one message, the only one at the receiving end of his punishments would be the rambunctious redhead.
“Think about it Seph,” Reno began, his voice adopting a slightly softer tone.
“How many times have I told you to stop calling me ‘Seph’.”
“Thirteen to be precise. This could be your opportunity to fulfill your life long ambition of being a dominatrix.” Reno goaded, clearly finding nothing about the General intimidating whatsoever.
If Sephiroth was annoyed before, he was downright wild now.
“Really Sephiroth, I had no idea you were into such things. Despite that odd rumour a while back.” Rufus eyed the man dubiously, as though he were a new all terrain vehicle he was just dying to try out.
“Really? You couldn't tell? I mean just look at him.” Reno made a point of tracing his index finger up and down Sephiroth's form, as this his appearance were self explanatory.
“What is that supposed to mean?! And what ambition?! I've never…!” The General spat, for once struggling to find the precise words and be eloquent while doing it.
“Alright, it's settled. Sephiroth, you will accompany Zack and Reno as the third contestant.” Rufus stated dismissively, as though his words were final.
“You know Seph, I think you could really pull off an a line dress. Your slender enough for it, minus those thunder thighs of course.”
“Oh shut up you scrawny, horny tart…”
“Oh like you don't love my scrawny ass bent over your…” Reno retorted, as though forgetting his present company before a swift kick collided with his shin.
“Stop your squabbling.” Tseng hissed as though he had metamorphosed into the Midgardsormr.
“It's alright Seph, I'll help you look absolutely ravishing, O'Donny boy won't be able to resist you.” It was a promise Reno had every intention of keeping too.
If the Don picked Sephiroth, then he wouldn't be picking him.
“So you have experience in such things, do you Reno?” Rufus raised an eyebrow as he leaned back in his seat.
“Do I ever!” Reno's eyes darted to Zack, who appeared to be resisting a bout of giggles with every fibre of his being.
And failing miserably at it.
Just like everything else he did.
“Good, you may want to assist Mr Fair also, he's going to take some work.” Rufus sighed as though he had been holding his breath.
“What?” Zack sat up in his seat as though insulted at the President's insinuation.
“Can't we just compete in the Corneo cup?” Sephiroth suddenly spat out, though Reno was surprised not to see the blood of his enemies along with it.
“No General Sephiroth, this setting will provide you with an intimate opportunity. You can dispose of him without it being obvious.”