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Why Is Future Vil Like This?

Summary:

The Dark Mirror shows the future. What follows is confusion, laughter, emotional damage, and a shocking amount of interest in Vil Schoenheit's personal life. Nobody leaves with answers, but several people leave with concerns.

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Nobody trusted Crowley.

This was a fact known throughout Night Raven College.

So when the Headmage suddenly summoned every Housewarden, every Vice-Housewarden, several first years, and a handful of other students to the Mirror Chamber without explanation, the general response had been suspicion.

"What did you do this time?" Ace asked immediately.

"I am wounded by your lack of faith," Crowley declared.

"You say that every time right before something goes wrong," Deuce replied.

"Precisely."

"That's not helping your case."

By the time everyone had gathered, the Mirror Chamber was unusually crowded.

Riddle stood at the front with his arms crossed.

Azul wore the expression of someone expecting a scam.

Jamil looked tired already.

Idia appeared one inconvenience away from disappearing into the floor.

Kalim was excited.

Malleus was curious.

Vil looked unimpressed.

Leona looked half asleep.

The Vice-Housewardens stood nearby, while Ace, Deuce, Jack, Yuu, Grim, Epel, Sebek, Cater, Silver, and Floyd gathered toward the back.

Crowley spread his arms dramatically.

"My beloved students! Today, the Dark Mirror shall show you visions of the future!"

The room fell silent.

Then—

"No."

"Absolutely not."

"That sounds fake."

"Can I leave?"

Crowley ignored them all.

The Dark Mirror suddenly began to glow.

Immediately, every complaint died.

The silver surface rippled like water before bright light spread across it.

A new image appeared.

And the entire room froze.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Whoa."

Cater's voice broke the silence.

Nobody blamed him.

Because sitting comfortably in an elegant television studio was Vil Schoenheit.

An older Vil Schoenheit.

A future Vil Schoenheit.

And somehow, impossibly, he looked even more beautiful.

The studio lights seemed to favor him.

His posture was perfect.

His hair looked flawless.

His smile was effortless.

He looked like the definition of a celebrity.

For several seconds, nobody spoke.

Then Floyd pointed dramatically.

"How does he look prettier?"

"That shouldn't be possible," Ace agreed.

"It is possible," Rook said proudly. "It is Mademoiselle Vil."

Even Vil looked surprised.

Only slightly.

But surprised nonetheless.

"Hm."

That was all he said.

Unfortunately, everyone knew him well enough to recognize that as approval.

Meanwhile, Leona had stopped pretending to sleep.

His eyes remained fixed on the screen.

Future Vil looked ridiculous.

Ridiculously beautiful.

Ridiculously elegant.

Ridiculously—

Leona immediately stopped that train of thought.

Nope.

Absolutely not.

Not happening.

The interview began.

The host smiled warmly.

"Thank you for joining us today, Vil."

"The pleasure is mine."

The two exchanged a few words about Vil's latest projects, upcoming films, and career achievements before the host suddenly smiled.

"I have to say, congratulations."

Future Vil laughed softly.

"Thank you."

The host leaned forward.

"How has parenthood been treating you?"

The Mirror Chamber exploded.

"PARENTHOOD?!"

Ace nearly fell over.

"HE HAS A KID?!"

Deuce looked shocked.

"WAIT, REALLY?"

Kalim immediately started clapping.

"Congratulations, future Vil!"

"Congratulations!"

Silver added politely.

"WE KNEW IT!" Cater shouted.

"You did not know it," Jade corrected.

"I knew it emotionally."

Vil pinched the bridge of his nose.

"A child..."

Epel looked surprisingly pleased.

Actually, pleased wasn't the right word.

Satisfied was.

Like this somehow made perfect sense.

Because if anyone was going to become a parent, it would be Vil.

Strict.

Organized.

Protective.

Demanding.

The sort of parent who would remind you to eat vegetables, maintain proper posture, moisturize, and achieve your full potential.

Not that Epel was thinking any of that.

Absolutely not.

Future Vil smiled.

"Parenthood has certainly been an experience."

The host laughed.

"What would you say has been the funniest part?"

Future Vil's expression immediately brightened.

Everyone became concerned.

"The funniest part was realizing I could tell people absolutely ridiculous baby names and watch them try to process them."

The host immediately started laughing.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

Future Vil nodded.

"My favorite names were Quandray and Valise."

The room went silent.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"What kind of names are those?" Jack finally asked.

"I don't know," Deuce admitted.

"They sound expensive," Floyd said.

Future Vil continued.

"There was one friend I told I was expecting a child. Naturally, he congratulated me and asked what the baby's name would be."

The host was already trying not to laugh.

"And then?"

Future Vil smiled innocently.

"I told him that if it was a boy, we were naming him Quandray."

The host immediately lost composure.

"And if it was a girl?"

"Valise."

The audience in the studio burst into laughter.

The students in the Mirror Chamber weren't doing much better.

Ace was bent over.

Deuce was wheezing.

Even Riddle had to look away.

"They're not even real names!"

Future Vil nodded seriously.

"Exactly."

The host wiped tears from his eyes.

"What did your husband think of all this?"

The room froze.

Every single student straightened.

Husband?

Husband.

Husband?!

Future Vil laughed.

"Oh, he knew from the beginning."

The room leaned forward.

"He did?"

"He not only knew, he joined me."

The room exploded.

"He WHAT?!"

Future Vil looked entirely too pleased.

"He would help me convince people the names were serious."

The host covered his face.

"There's two of you."

"There are."

"That sounds dangerous."

"It was."

Future Vil smiled fondly.

"He even did the same thing to his brother."

The host groaned.

"Your poor brother-in-law."

"He survived."

"Barely?"

"Barely."

Now nobody cared about the names anymore.

There was a far more important issue.

Who married Vil Schoenheit?

The future celebrity.

The future parent.

The future Vil Schoenheit.

Who was the lucky man?

Questions immediately spread throughout the chamber.

"Who is it?"

"Do we know him?"

"Is he famous?"

"Is he rich?"

"Is he brave?"

"Is he insane?"

"Probably all of the above," Jade answered.

Epel had become suspiciously invested.

Very suspiciously invested.

Because whoever married Vil had better be worthy.

Did he treat Vil well?

Did he appreciate him?

Did he remember birthdays?

Did he buy flowers?

Did he deserve him?

Epel narrowed his eyes.

Whoever Future Husband was, Epel had concerns.

Entirely normal concerns.

Not because Vil was basically his dorm mother.

That would be ridiculous.

Completely ridiculous.

Meanwhile, Leona's mood had worsened considerably.

Who married Vil?

Who?

The question repeated in his mind.

Every possible answer irritated him.

The fact that it irritated him only made things worse.

Ruggie noticed immediately.

His grin widened.

"Oh?"

Leona glared.

Ruggie's grin somehow widened further.

"Ohhhhh?"

"Say one more word."

Ruggie wisely chose life.

The host eventually recovered enough to continue.

"Who's had the best reaction?"

Future Vil immediately laughed.

"Oh, that would be malleus his reaction was one of my favorites."

Everyone turned toward Malleus.

Malleus blinked.

Future Vil continued.

"I told him that the names were Quandray and Valise."

The host leaned forward.

"And?"

"And Without missing a beat, he looked at me and said, 'Such original names.'"

Silence.

Then absolute chaos.

Ace hit the floor.

Deuce was crying.

Floyd was laughing loud enough to shake the chamber.

Sebek looked horrified.

"WAKA-SAMA!"

"What?"

"THOSE ARE TERRIBLE NAMES!"

Malleus frowned thoughtfully.

"Are they?"

"YES!"

Future Vil was openly laughing now.

"For an entire minute, I thought he was joking."

"He wasn't?"

"Oh He was completely serious."

Everyone stared at Malleus.

Malleus stared back.

"I still fail to understand the issue."

The laughing somehow became louder.

As laughter echoed through the Mirror Chamber, one mystery remained unsolved.

Who exactly had managed to marry Vil Schoenheit?

And why was Leona suddenly looking like he wanted that answer more than anyone else?

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