Chapter Text

The fluorescent lights of the university library hummed their eternal monotone song, a sound that had become as familiar to Kim Taehyung as his own heartbeat. He sat hunched over a worn copy of Quantum Field Theory by Peskin and Schroeder, his thick-framed glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose for the hundredth time that evening. He pushed them back up with his index finger,a nervous habit he'd developed years ago, one that had become so automatic he barely noticed it anymore.

The library was nearly empty at this hour, just past eleven on a Thursday night. Most students were out at bars, at parties, living the college experience that seemed to exist in some parallel universe Taehyung had never quite accessed. But he didn't mind the solitude. In fact, he preferred it. Here, surrounded by the musty smell of old textbooks and the soft rustle of turning pages, he could focus on what mattered.

Becoming a physicist.

His father's dream. His father's unfulfilled, dying wish.

Taehyung's fingers traced the equations on the page before him, but his mind wandered despite his best efforts. He could see his father's face as clearly as if it had been yesterday instead of three years ago,gaunt from the cancer, eyes still bright with that fierce intelligence that had defined him. His father had been a high school physics teacher, brilliant but trapped by circumstances, by the need to provide for his family, by opportunities that had slipped through his fingers like water.

"Promise me," his father had whispered, his hand gripping Taehyung's with surprising strength for someone so close to death. "Promise me you'll do what I couldn't. Become a physicist. Make discoveries. Change the world."

Taehyung had promised. Of course he had promised.

And so here he was, twenty-one years old, a senior in the physics department at one of South Korea's most prestigious universities, with a 3.97 GPA and absolutely no life outside of his studies. No parties. No dating. No hookups in bathroom stalls or drunken makeout sessions at fraternity houses. The rumors that circulated about him,that he was a virgin, that he'd never even been with anyone,were mostly true. There had been one kiss, back in middle school, with a boy named Minho behind the gymnasium. It had been clumsy and brief, and Taehyung had spent the next week terrified someone had seen them.

He hadn't kissed anyone since.

It wasn't that he didn't feel desire. God, he felt it. Late at night in his dorm room, when his roommate Hoseok was asleep or out, Taehyung would lie in bed and feel that familiar ache, that need that seemed to grow stronger with each passing year. But he pushed it down, buried it beneath equations and research papers and the weight of his father's expectations.

There was no room in his life for distractions.

No room for.....

"Taehyung-ssi, you're still here?"

He looked up to find Professor Min standing beside his table, briefcase in hand, clearly on his way out for the night. The older man's expression was a mixture of concern and something that might have been pity.

"Yes, Professor," Taehyung said, adjusting his glasses again. "I'm reviewing the material for Monday's quantum mechanics exam."

"The exam isn't until Monday. It's Thursday night." Professor Min shook his head. "You know, there's more to university than just studying. You should go out sometimes. Enjoy your youth while you have it."

Taehyung forced a polite smile. "I appreciate the concern, Professor, but I'm fine. Really."

Professor Min looked like he wanted to say more, but he simply sighed and nodded. "Don't stay too late. The library closes at midnight."

"I won't. Thank you."

As the professor walked away, Taehyung returned his attention to his textbook, but the words seemed to blur together on the page. He rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses, suddenly exhausted. Maybe he should call it a night. He'd been here since six, after all, and....

The sound of laughter drifted through the library's quiet atmosphere, bright and melodious and completely out of place in this temple of silence. Taehyung's entire body went rigid, his fingers tightening on the edges of his textbook until his knuckles turned white.

He knew that laugh.

Of course he knew that laugh.

He heard it in his dreams.

Jeon Jungkook appeared around the corner of the bookshelf, and Taehyung's breath caught in his throat the way it always did. The younger man was wearing a black miniskirt that barely covered his thighs, paired with a cropped pink sweater that showed a strip of smooth, tanned stomach. His long dark hair fell in soft waves around his face, and his lips,those perfect, plump lips,were wrapped around a cherry lollipop, the red candy making his mouth look even more obscene than usual.

He wasn't alone. He never was.

Two boys flanked him, both clearly enamored, both trying to get his attention. One of them,Taehyung recognized him from their thermodynamics class,had his hand on the small of Jungkook's back, fingers splayed possessively over the exposed skin above his skirt's waistband.

Taehyung felt something hot and vicious twist in his gut.

Jealousy. Pure, burning jealousy.

"Jungkook-ah, come on," the boy from thermodynamics was saying, his voice low and cajoling. "Just one night. I promise I'll make it worth your while."

Jungkook laughed again, pulling the lollipop from his mouth with a wet pop that made Taehyung's cock twitch traitorously in his jeans. "Mmm, I don't know, Minjun-ssi. I'm very particular about who I spend my nights with."

"I heard you weren't that particular," the other boy said, and there was an edge to his voice that made Taehyung's hands clench into fists. "I heard you'll spread your legs for anyone who—"

"Careful," Jungkook interrupted, and though his voice remained light, there was steel beneath it. "Just because I enjoy sex doesn't mean I don't have standards. And you, Junho-ssi, definitely don't meet them."

He turned away from both boys with a dismissive hair flip that would have been comical if it hadn't been so devastatingly effective. His eyes swept across the library, and for one heart stopping moment, they landed directly on Taehyung.

Taehyung quickly looked down at his textbook, his face burning, his heart hammering against his ribs. Had Jungkook seen him staring? God, he hoped not. He hoped....

"Well, well," a familiar voice said, and Taehyung's entire body went cold. "Kim Taehyung. Studying on a Thursday night. What a surprise."

Taehyung forced himself to look up. Jungkook stood beside his table now, the two boys who'd been following him nowhere in sight. Up close, he was even more devastating,his skin luminous in the library's harsh lighting, his eyes dark and knowing, his lips still wrapped around that goddamn lollipop.

"Jungkook," Taehyung managed, his voice coming out rougher than he'd intended. He cleared his throat. "What are you doing here?"

"Studying, obviously." Jungkook gestured to the books in his arms,advanced physics texts, Taehyung noted with a mixture of respect and resentment. "Unlike some people, I don't live in the library, but I do occasionally visit."

"Right." Taehyung adjusted his glasses, looking back down at his textbook. "Well, don't let me keep you."

"You're not keeping me." Jungkook pulled out the chair across from Taehyung and sat down, crossing his legs in a way that made his skirt ride up even higher on his thighs. Taehyung's eyes were drawn to the exposed skin like a moth to flame, and he hated himself for it. "I thought I'd study here. Unless you have a problem with that?"

Taehyung did have a problem with it. A huge problem. Because having Jeon Jungkook sitting across from him, looking like every wet dream Taehyung had ever had, was not conducive to studying. It wasn't conducive to breathing, actually.

But he couldn't say that.

"It's a free country," he said instead, keeping his eyes firmly on his textbook.

"Wow, so welcoming." Jungkook's voice was amused. "You know, Taehyung-ssi, you could try being friendly sometimes. We are in the same department, after all. Same year, even, despite me being younger."

"We're not in the same year. You're a year behind me."

"I'm in all your classes, though." Jungkook pulled the lollipop from his mouth again, and Taehyung made the mistake of looking up just in time to see his tongue dart out to lick his lips. "Guess I'm just that smart."

He was. That was the problem.

Jeon Jungkook was brilliant. Effortlessly, infuriatingly brilliant. He barely seemed to study, spent his nights at parties and in other people's beds, and yet he consistently scored higher than Taehyung on every exam, every assignment, every goddamn thing. He was ranked first in their department. Taehyung was ranked second.

Everyone assumed that was why they didn't get along. Academic rivalry. Competition for the top spot.

If only it were that simple.

"Are you ready for Monday's exam?" Jungkook asked, opening one of his textbooks. He'd put the lollipop back in his mouth, and he rolled it around with his tongue as he spoke, the movement obscene and hypnotic.

"Yes," Taehyung said shortly.

"Mmm. Me too. Though I'm a little worried about the section on perturbation theory. Professor Min's explanations were kind of unclear."

Despite himself, Taehyung felt his interest pique. "Which part?"

"The time-dependent perturbations. I understand the time independent case, but when you introduce the time evolution operator, I get confused about—"

And just like that, they were discussing physics. It was the only time Taehyung could talk to Jungkook without feeling like he was going to crawl out of his skin,when they were discussing equations and theories and the fundamental nature of reality. In those moments, he could almost forget about the way Jungkook's skirt rode up his thighs, or the way his lips looked wrapped around that lollipop, or the rumors that circulated about his sexual prowess.

Almost.

They studied together for the next forty five minutes, until the librarian announced the fifteen minute warning before closing. Jungkook stretched, his sweater riding up to reveal more of his stomach, and Taehyung quickly looked away.

"Well, that was actually helpful," Jungkook said, gathering his books. "Thanks, Taehyung-ssi."

"I didn't do it for you," Taehyung muttered. "I was just clarifying my own understanding."

"Sure you were." Jungkook stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "You know, you're not as scary as you pretend to be."

Taehyung looked up at him, startled. "I'm not trying to be scary."

"No?" Jungkook tilted his head, studying him with those dark, knowing eyes. "Then what are you trying to be?"

Invisible, Taehyung thought. Focused. Dedicated. Anything but what I actually am,a pathetic nerdy guy who can't stop thinking about you.

"I'm trying to study," he said aloud. "Which is what I'd be doing if you weren't bothering me."

Something flickered across Jungkook's face,hurt, maybe, or disappointment,but it was gone so quickly Taehyung might have imagined it.

"Right," Jungkook said, his voice cooler now. "Well, sorry for bothering you, Taehyung-ssi. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

He walked away, his hips swaying in that miniskirt, and Taehyung watched him go with a mixture of relief and regret churning in his stomach.

This was better. Keeping distance was better.

It had to be.

The weekend passed in a blur of studying and solitude. Taehyung barely left his dorm room except to grab food from the dining hall, ignoring Hoseok's increasingly concerned looks and suggestions that he "get some fresh air" or "maybe talk to someone."

"I'm fine," Taehyung insisted on Sunday evening, when Hoseok finally cornered him about it.

"You're not fine," Hoseok said, sitting on the edge of Taehyung's bed. "Tae, I'm worried about you. You never go out, you never have fun, you're always just... studying. It's not healthy."

"I have a goal," Taehyung said, not looking up from his laptop. "I need to focus."

"Your goal is to become a physicist, not a hermit." Hoseok sighed. "Look, I get that your dad's dream is important to you. But he wouldn't want you to sacrifice your entire life for it, would he?"

Taehyung's fingers stilled on the keyboard. Would his father want this? This half-life of books and loneliness and repressed desire?

He didn't know. He'd never know.

"I'm fine," he repeated, and Hoseok, recognizing a lost cause when he saw one, finally dropped it.

Monday arrived with the quantum mechanics exam, and Taehyung felt confident as he worked through the problems. He'd studied extensively, understood the material inside and out, and he was certain he'd aced it.

Until he saw Jungkook turn in his exam fifteen minutes early, a satisfied smile on his face.

That smile haunted Taehyung for the rest of the day.

When the results were posted on Wednesday, Taehyung's stomach sank. Jungkook had scored a 98. Taehyung had scored a 96.

Two points. Two fucking points.

"Man, Jungkook is insane," someone said behind him in the hallway, and Taehyung turned to see a group of students clustered around the posted grades. "How does he party every weekend and still score higher than everyone else?"

"I know, right? I heard he was at Sigma Chi on Saturday night, completely wasted, and he still—"

"Did you see what he was wearing? That black dress with the—"

"God, I'd kill to get him in bed. I heard he's incredible. Minjae said—" 

" Seojoon said he left him begging after the night,says he left him after getting eaten out in the library bathroom" 

Taehyung walked away before he could hear the rest, his hands shaking, that familiar jealousy burning through his veins like acid.

It started small.

Taehyung began noticing Jungkook's schedule. Not deliberately, he told himself. It was just that they had so many classes together, and the campus wasn't that big, and it was natural to notice patterns.

Jungkook had Advanced Quantum Mechanics on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 9 AM. Statistical Mechanics on Tuesday and Thursday at 11 AM. He usually ate lunch at the student union around 1 PM, often surrounded by a rotating cast of admirers. He went to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday evenings,Taehyung had seen him leaving once, wearing tight yoga pants and a sports bra, his skin glistening with sweat.

Taehyung had gone home and jerked off three times that night, hating himself more with each orgasm.

It wasn't deliberate, he kept telling himself. He wasn't stalking Jungkook. He was just... aware of him. Hyperaware. The way you might be aware of a fire alarm or a ticking bomb,something dangerous that demanded your attention.

But then he found himself taking routes across campus that he knew would intersect with Jungkook's path. Timing his coffee runs to coincide with Jungkook's. Sitting in the library at times when he knew Jungkook might show up.

And he started listening. God help him, he started listening to the gossip.

"Did you hear about Jungkook and that senior from the engineering department?"

"No way. I thought he was with Taejoon from chemistry."

"He's not with anyone exclusively. You know Jungkook—he likes variety."

"I heard he's got the most amazing body. Like, he's got like the biggest tits and a wet fucking pussy but he's still so strong and toned somehow? It's insane."

" Last year's New year's eve party,he literally sucked off me in the parking lot,you won't believe how thrilling it was-" 

"Minjae hooked up with him for a whole week long,last month. Said it was the best sex of his life. Said Jungkook can do this thing with his—"

Taehyung would walk away, his face burning, his cock hard, his mind filled with images he couldn't shake. Jungkook beneath someone else. Jungkook moaning someone else's name. Jungkook's body,that body he'd only seen hints of,on display for someone who wasn't him.

The jealousy was consuming him.

He tried to fight it. He threw himself into his research, spending even more hours in the library, working on a paper about quantum entanglement that he hoped might get published in an undergraduate journal. He avoided social media, avoided places where he might run into Jungkook, avoided everything except his studies.

But late at night, alone in his dorm room, he couldn't help himself.

He'd pull out his phone and navigate to Jungkook's Instagram. The younger man's feed was a carefully curated collection of photos that seemed designed to drive Taehyung insane. Jungkook in a red minidress at some party, his arm around a boy Taehyung didn't recognize. Jungkook at the beach in a bikini that showed off his curves, his breasts, the flat plane of his stomach. Jungkook in his dorm room, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt, his legs bare and endless.

Taehyung would stare at these photos until his eyes burned, his hand inevitably finding its way into his boxers. He'd stroke himself slowly at first, then faster, imagining it was Jungkook's hand, Jungkook's mouth, Jungkook's body pressed against his.

He'd imagine pushing Jungkook against a wall, kissing him until they were both breathless, sliding his hand up that sinful miniskirt to find—

He'd come with a strangled gasp, Jungkook's name on his lips, and then he'd lie there in the aftermath, disgusted with himself, ashamed of his weakness.

This wasn't who he was supposed to be. He was supposed to be focused, dedicated, above such base desires. He was supposed to be fulfilling his father's dream, not fantasizing about a classmate who probably didn't even know he existed beyond their academic rivalry.

But he couldn't stop.

God help him, he couldn't stop.

It was a Thursday afternoon, three weeks after the quantum mechanics exam, when Taehyung found himself in the student union, ostensibly to grab coffee between classes. The place was crowded, filled with students laughing and chatting and living their normal, uncomplicated lives.

Taehyung got his coffee,black, no sugar and was about to leave when he heard that laugh again. That bright, melodious laugh that seemed to bypass his brain and go straight to his cock.

He turned, and there was Jungkook, sitting at a table near the window. He was wearing a white crop top and a pleated pink skirt today, his hair pulled back in a ponytail that showed off the elegant line of his neck. And he wasn't alone.

Of course he wasn't alone.

A boy Taehyung recognized from their Statistical Mechanics class,Yugyeom, he thought his name was,sat across from Jungkook, leaning in close, clearly flirting. His hand was on the table, fingers inching toward Jungkook's, and Jungkook was smiling at him, playing with his ever present lollipop in a way that was absolutely deliberate.

"So what do you say?" Yugyeom was asking, his voice low but not low enough that Taehyung couldn't hear from where he stood frozen near the coffee counter. "My roommate's gone for the weekend. We could have the place to ourselves."

Jungkook pulled the lollipop from his mouth, his lips shiny and red. "Mmm, I don't know. I'm pretty busy this weekend."

"Come on, Jungkook-ah. I promise I'll make it worth your time." Yugyeom's hand finally reached Jungkook's, his fingers curling around the younger man's wrist. "I've been thinking about you for weeks. About what I want to do to you."

Taehyung's vision went red at the edges.

He should leave. He should walk away right now, go back to his dorm, bury himself in his textbooks and forget this conversation ever happened.

But he couldn't move. He stood there, coffee growing cold in his hand, watching as Yugyeom leaned even closer, his lips nearly brushing Jungkook's ear as he whispered something that made Jungkook laugh. He took Jungkook's smooth bare legs on his lap and Jungkook's skirt rode up, he slowly sensually started stroking his inner thighs.

"You're very confident," Jungkook said, and there was amusement in his voice. "What makes you think you can handle me?"

"I've heard the rumors," Yugyeom said. "I know you like it rough. We all saw the tape that went viral,you and Hongjae,I can give you that."

Jungkook's smile widened. "Can you?"

"Let me prove it."

Taehyung's hand clenched around his coffee cup so hard he was surprised it didn't shatter. He needed to leave. He needed to—

Jungkook's eyes suddenly lifted, and they locked directly onto Taehyung's.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Taehyung felt pinned by that gaze, unable to look away, his heart hammering so hard he was sure everyone in the student union could hear it.

Then Jungkook smiled,a slow, knowing smile that made Taehyung's stomach drop and deliberately, maintaining eye contact, he leaned in and whispered something in Yugyeom's ear.

Yugyeom's face lit up. "Really? Tonight?"

"Maybe," Jungkook said, still looking at Taehyung. "Text me later."

Taehyung finally managed to tear his gaze away. He turned and walked out of the student union, his coffee forgotten on a nearby table, his entire body shaking with an emotion he couldn't name.

Jealousy. Rage. Desire. All of it mixed together into something toxic and overwhelming.

He made it back to his dorm room and slammed the door behind him, grateful that Hoseok was in class. He paced the small space like a caged animal, his hands shaking, his mind racing.

I've heard the rumors. I know you like it rough.

Let me prove it.

The thought of Yugyeom touching Jungkook, of him pushing Jungkook down onto a bed, of him—

Taehyung's hand was in his jeans before he'd consciously decided to do it. He shoved his pants and boxers down just enough to free his cock, already hard and leaking, and he stroked himself roughly, almost punishingly.

He imagined it was him instead of Yugyeom. Him pushing Jungkook against a wall, kissing him hard enough to bruise, sliding his hand up that pink skirt to find Jungkook wet and ready for him.

"You like it rough?" he'd ask, his voice rough with desire.

"Yes," Jungkook would gasp. "Please, Taehyung, I need—"

He'd spin Jungkook around, bend him over, flip up that skirt to reveal—

Taehyung came with a choked groan, spilling over his hand, his release so intense it was almost painful. He stood there afterward, panting, his forehead pressed against the cool wall, shame washing over him in waves.

This was getting worse. His obsession was getting worse.

He needed to stop. He needed to get control of himself before—

His phone buzzed. A notification from Instagram.

Against his better judgment, he checked it.

Jungkook had posted a new photo. It was a mirror selfie, taken in what was clearly his dorm room. He was wearing the same white crop top and pink skirt from earlier, but now the skirt was riding up high enough that Taehyung could see the lace edge of his panties. The caption read: someone's taking me out tonight 💕

Taehyung stared at the photo until his eyes burned, his cleaned hand clenching into a fist.

He was losing his mind.

"Tae, we need to talk."

Taehyung looked up from his laptop to find Hoseok standing in the doorway of their dorm room, his expression serious in a way that was unusual for his typically cheerful roommate.

"About what?" Taehyung asked, though he had a sinking feeling he knew.

Hoseok came in and closed the door behind him. "About you. About whatever's going on with you."

"Nothing's going on with me."

"Bullshit." Hoseok sat on his own bed, facing Taehyung. "You've been acting weird for weeks. You're even more isolated than usual, you barely eat, and I've heard you... at night."

Taehyung's face burned. "I don't know what you're—"

"You say his name, Tae."

The world seemed to stop. Taehyung froze at his spot.

"What?" Taehyung whispered.

"Jungkook. You say his name. When you're.....you know...at night...." Hoseok made a vague gesture. "You know what I mean."

Taehyung wanted to die. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. "I don't—"

"It's okay," Hoseok said quickly. "I'm not judging you. It's Jeon Jungkook after all. I just... I'm worried. Because it's pretty obvious you have feelings for him, but you're not doing anything about it. You're just torturing yourself."

"I don't have feelings for him," Taehyung said, but the words sounded hollow even to his own ears. "We're rivals. We don't even like each other."

"Tae." Hoseok's voice was gentle. "I've seen the way you look at him. And I've seen the way he looks at you, too."

Taehyung's head snapped up. "What?"

"Jungkook. He looks at you. A lot, actually. I noticed it in Statistical Mechanics last week. He kept glancing over at you when he thought you weren't paying attention."

"You're imagining things," Taehyung said, but his heart was racing. "Jungkook doesn't....he's not interested in me. He's interested in everyone except me."

"Are you sure about that?"

No. Taehyung wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"It doesn't matter," he said finally. "Even if he was interested, which he's not, I don't have time for a relationship. I have my studies, my research, my—"

"Your dead father's dream," Hoseok finished quietly.

Taehyung flinched. "Don't."

"I'm sorry, but someone needs to say it. Tae, your dad loved you. He wanted you to be happy. Do you really think he'd want you to spend your entire life alone, denying yourself any kind of happiness or connection, just to fulfill some promise you made when you were eighteen and grieving?"

"You don't understand," Taehyung said, his voice tight. "You don't know what it's like to—"

"You're right. I don't. But I know what it's like to watch my best friend slowly destroy himself." Hoseok stood up. "Just... think about it, okay? Think about what you really want. Not what your dad wanted. What you want."

He left, and Taehyung sat alone in the silence, Hoseok's words echoing in his head.

What do you want?

He wanted Jungkook. God, he wanted Jungkook so badly it was like a physical ache, a constant hunger that nothing could satisfy.

But more than that, he wanted to stop wanting him. He wanted to go back to the way things were before, when his life was simple and focused and he didn't spend every waking moment consumed by jealousy and desire.

He wanted peace.

But he had a feeling peace was no longer an option.

The breaking point came on a Friday night.

Taehyung hadn't planned to go to the party. He never went to parties. But Hoseok had been insistent, practically dragging him out of the dorm room with promises that "just one night of fun won't kill you" and "you need to see what you're missing."

The party was at one of the off campus houses that the wealthy students rented, a sprawling place with a backyard and a pool and music so loud Taehyung could feel it vibrating in his chest. The place was packed with people, all of them drinking and dancing and having the kind of carefree fun that seemed alien to Taehyung.

"See?" Hoseok shouted over the music. "Isn't this better than sitting in our room?"

Taehyung wasn't sure "better" was the word he'd use, but he nodded anyway. Hoseok got them both drinks,something fruity and strong that burned going down and they found a relatively quiet corner to stand in.

For about twenty minutes, it was fine. Taehyung nursed his drink, watched the crowd, and tried to ignore the growing anxiety in his chest. He didn't belong here. These weren't his people. This wasn't his world.

And then he saw him.

Jungkook was in the center of the makeshift dance floor, and he was absolutely devastating. He wore a black micro miniskirt that barely covered his ass, paired with a silver halter top that showed off his pretty round breasts and left his back completely bare, exposing his beautiful tiger Lilly tattoo on his spine. His hair was loose and wild, and his body moved to the music with a sensuality that made Taehyung's mouth go dry.

He wasn't alone. Of course he wasn't alone.

Drunken Boys surrounded him, drawn to him like moths to a flame. One of them,tall, muscular, handsome in a way that made Taehyung feel inadequate,had his hands on Jungkook's hips, pulling him back against his body as they danced, rubbing his bulge on Jungkook's clothed ass. Another was pressed against Jungkook's front, his lips on Jungkook's neck. Leaving red purple hickeys till his deep cleavage,his collerbones shinning with Slavia under the disco lights.

Taehyung watched, frozen, as Jungkook laughed and ground back against the boy behind him, his head falling back in pleasure. The boy's hands slid up Jungkook's sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of his breasts through the thin fabric of his top, pulling the milky skin making Jungkook's eyes roll and Jungkook didn't stop him.

"Holy shit, Jungkook is so hot," someone said nearby, and Taehyung turned to see a group of boys watching the same scene he was. "I'd give anything to get him alone."

"Good luck with that. I heard he's really picky about who he actually fucks. Like, he'll dance with anyone, but taking someone to bed is a whole different thing."

"Minjae said he's incredible, though. Said Jungkook rode him for like an hour straight,then took him in doggy,he has insane high libido, and he's got this tight little pussy that—"

Taehyung walked away before he could hear more, his hands shaking, his vision blurring at the edges. He needed air. He needed to get out of here before he did something stupid.

He found the bathroom and locked himself inside, bracing his hands on the sink and staring at his reflection in the mirror. His face was flushed, his glasses slightly askew, his eyes wild behind the lenses.

Get it together, he told himself. You're better than this. You're above this.

But he wasn't. He really, really wasn't.

He stayed in the bathroom for ten minutes, trying to calm down, trying to talk himself into just leaving the party and going back to his dorm. But when he finally emerged, he made the mistake of looking toward the dance floor again.

Jungkook was kissing the tall, muscular boy now, their mouths fused together, the boy's hands gripping Jungkook's ass under that tiny skirt. And Jungkook was kissing him back, his arms around the boy's neck, his body pressed flush against him. The boy occasionally palming Jungkook's breasts.

Something inside Taehyung snapped.

He didn't remember walking to the makeshift bar. Didn't remember downing three shots in quick succession, the alcohol burning through him like fire. Didn't remember Hoseok finding him and asking if he was okay, or his own mumbled response.

All he remembered was the jealousy. The rage. The overwhelming, consuming need to make it stop.

He drank more. And more. Until the world was spinning and the music was too loud and everything was too much.

"Tae, I think you should slow down," Hoseok said, his voice concerned, but Taehyung shook him off.

"I'm fine," he slurred. "I'm perfectly fine."

He wasn't fine. He was the opposite of fine.

He looked toward the dance floor again, and this time, Jungkook was looking back at him.

Their eyes met across the crowded room, and Taehyung saw something flicker in Jungkook's expression. Surprise, maybe. Or recognition. The younger man said something to the boy he'd been kissing, then started making his way through the crowd.

Toward Taehyung.

Panic seized Taehyung's chest. He couldn't talk to Jungkook right now. Not like this. Not when he was drunk and angry and barely holding himself together.

He turned and fled, pushing through the crowd, ignoring Hoseok's calls behind him. He made it outside, into the backyard, where the air was cooler and the music was slightly less overwhelming.

But Jungkook followed him.

"Taehyung-ssi," Jungkook called, and Taehyung kept walking, heading toward the back fence, anywhere to get away. "Taehyung, wait!"

"Leave me alone," Taehyung said, not turning around.

"Are you okay? You look—"

"I said leave me alone!" Taehyung spun around, and the sudden movement made the world tilt dangerously. He stumbled, and Jungkook reached out to steady him, his hands on Taehyung's arms.

The touch burned. Even through Taehyung's shirt, even through the alcohol haze, Jungkook's touch burned. He noticed the numerous red hickeys on his cleavage and neck, some faint hand paints on his flat stomach m

"Don't touch me," Taehyung said, jerking away. "Don't—just don't."

Jungkook's eyes were wide, concerned. "Taehyung, you're really drunk. Let me help you—"

"I don't need your help. I don't need anything from you."

"Okay." Jungkook held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Why?" The word came out harsh, accusatory. "Why do you care?"

"Because we're classmates? Because you look like you're about to pass out?"

"No." Taehyung took a step closer, and he saw Jungkook's eyes widen slightly. "You don't care about me. You don't care about anyone except yourself and whoever you're fucking that week."

Jungkook's expression hardened. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Taehyung was on a roll now, all the jealousy and frustration and repressed desire pouring out of him in a toxic flood. "You parade around campus in your little skirts, flirting with everyone, letting them touch you, and you don't care who you hurt or who you—"

"Who I hurt?" Jungkook's voice was sharp now. "I'm not hurting anyone, Taehyung. I'm living my life. I'm sorry if that offends your delicate sensibilities."

"It doesn't offend me. I don't care what you do."

"Really? Because you seem pretty worked up about it."

"I'm not—" Taehyung broke off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just don't understand why you have to be so... so..."

"So what?" Jungkook challenged, taking a step closer. "Say it, Taehyung. What's your problem with me?"

You, Taehyung wanted to scream. You're my problem. You and your perfect face and your perfect body and the way you make me feel things I'm not supposed to feel. You're destroying me and you don't even know it.

But he couldn't say that. He couldn't admit that.

So instead, he said, "Nothing. You're nothing to me."

It was a lie, and they both knew it.

Jungkook stared at him for a long moment, something unreadable in his expression. Then he laughed, but it wasn't his usual bright laugh. It was bitter.

"You know what, Taehyung? You're right. I am nothing to you. Just like you're nothing to me. We're just classmates. Rivals. That's all we'll ever be."

He turned to walk away, and Taehyung should have let him go. Should have kept his mouth shut and let this moment pass.

But the alcohol had loosened his tongue, and the jealousy was eating him alive, and he couldn't stop himself.

"Have fun with your boy toy," he called after Jungkook. "I'm sure he'll be very disappointed when he realizes you're just another easy fuck of the night."

Jungkook stopped. Turned around slowly. And the look on his face made Taehyung's stomach drop.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me."

"You think I'm easy?" Jungkook's voice was dangerously quiet. "You think I just spread my legs for anyone?"

"Don't you?"

Jungkook closed the distance between them in three strides, and suddenly he was right in Taehyung's space, close enough that Taehyung could smell his perfume, could see the anger blazing in his dark eyes.

"You don't know anything about me," Jungkook said, his voice low and intense. "You sit in your corner with your books and your judgments, and you think you have me all figured out. But you don't. You don't know me at all."

"I know enough," Taehyung said, even though his heart was racing, even though having Jungkook this close was making it hard to think. "I know you're a—"

"A what? A slut? A hooker?A whore? Go ahead, say it."

Taehyung's jaw clenched. "I wasn't going to say that."

"But you were thinking it." Jungkook's eyes searched his face. "You and everyone else. You all think because I'm comfortable with my sexuality, because I like physical intimacy and I'm not ashamed of my body, that means I'm easy. That means I'm less than."

"I don't think you're less than," Taehyung said, and it was the truth. If anything, he thought Jungkook was more than. More than him, more than anyone.

"Then what do you think?" Jungkook challenged. "What do you really think about me, Kim Taehyung?"

I think about you constantly. I think about you when I'm studying, when I'm eating, when I'm trying to sleep. I think about your body, your laugh, your mind. I think about what it would be like to kiss you, to touch you, to make you mine. I think about you so much it's driving me insane.

But he couldn't say that. He couldn't.

"I think you're reckless," he said instead. "I think you don't take anything seriously. I think you waste your potential on parties and hookups when you could be—"

"Could be what? Could be like you?" Jungkook laughed again, that same bitter sound. "Alone and miserable and so repressed you can barely function? No thanks."

The words hit like a physical blow.

"I'm not miserable," Taehyung said, but his voice lacked conviction.

"Aren't you?" Jungkook's gaze was piercing. "When's the last time you did something just because you wanted to? When's the last time you let yourself feel anything?"

Right now, Taehyung thought. I'm feeling everything right now and it's too much.

"My feelings aren't your concern," he said aloud.

"You're right. They're not." Jungkook stepped back, and Taehyung felt the loss of his proximity like a physical ache. "Enjoy your lonely, miserable life, Taehyung-ssi. I'll be over here actually living mine."

He walked away, and this time, Taehyung let him go.

He stood there in the backyard, the party continuing around him, and felt something crack inside his chest.

Hoseok found him twenty minutes later, still standing in the same spot.

"Tae? You okay?"

"Take me home," Taehyung said, his voice hollow. "Please."

Hoseok didn't ask questions. He just put an arm around Taehyung's shoulders and guided him out of the party, away from the music and the laughter and Jeon Jungkook.

That night, Taehyung lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling, replaying the conversation over and over in his mind. He'd been cruel. He'd said things he didn't mean, things designed to hurt.

And he'd seen the hurt in Jungkook's eyes.

He'd wanted to hurt him. Because if Jungkook was hurt, maybe he'd feel even a fraction of what Taehyung felt every day. Maybe he'd understand what it was like to burn with wanting something you couldn't have.

But now, in the sober light of his dorm room, Taehyung just felt sick.

He pulled out his phone and navigated to Jungkook's Instagram, some masochistic part of him needing to see if the younger man had posted anything from the party.

He had. A photo of him and the tall, muscular boy, their faces close together, both of them smiling. The boy had his arms wrapped around Jungkook's bare stomach.The caption read: best night ever 💕

Taehyung stared at the photo until his vision blurred, and he realized with horror that he was crying.

He was crying over Jeon fucking Jungkook.

He was so fucked.

The weekend passed in a haze of regret and self loathing. Taehyung couldn't stop thinking about the party, about the things he'd said to Jungkook, about the hurt in the younger man's eyes.

He should apologize. He knew he should apologize.

But every time he thought about approaching Jungkook, about admitting he'd been wrong, his pride stopped him. Because apologizing would mean acknowledging that he cared. That Jungkook's opinion of him mattered.

And he couldn't do that. He couldn't open that door.

So he did what he always did: he buried himself in his studies and tried to pretend nothing had happened.

Monday's Advanced Quantum Mechanics class was torture. Taehyung arrived early, as always, and took his usual seat near the front. When Jungkook walked in five minutes later, looking stunning in a short denim skirt and a cropped sweater, Taehyung forced himself to look down at his notebook.

He felt rather than saw Jungkook pause beside his row of seats. Felt the weight of his gaze.

But Jungkook didn't say anything. He just continued to his own seat, a few rows back, and Taehyung released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

The class proceeded normally. Professor Min lectured about quantum field theory, and Taehyung took meticulous notes, grateful for the distraction. He didn't look back at Jungkook. Didn't let himself wonder if the younger man was looking at him.

When class ended, Taehyung packed up his things quickly, intending to leave before Jungkook could approach him,if he even wanted to, which he probably didn't after Friday night.

But as he stood to leave, he heard Professor Min call out, "Mr. Kim, Mr. Jeon, could you stay for a moment?"

Taehyung's stomach sank. He turned to see Jungkook also frozen in place, his expression carefully neutral.

They both approached the professor's desk, standing as far apart as possible while still being in the same general vicinity.

"I wanted to talk to you both about the upcoming research symposium," Professor Min said, seemingly oblivious to the tension between them. "The department is sending two undergraduate representatives to present research, and I'd like to nominate both of you."

"I'd be honored, Professor," Taehyung said immediately.

"Me too," Jungkook added, his voice cool and professional.

"Excellent. Now, I was thinking it might be beneficial for you two to collaborate on a joint presentation. Your approaches to physics are quite different,Mr. Kim, you're more theoretical, while Mr. Jeon has a gift for experimental design. Together, you could create something really impressive."

Taehyung's mind raced. Work with Jungkook? Spend hours alone with him, discussing research, being in close proximity?

It was either his worst nightmare or his deepest fantasy. Possibly both.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said carefully. "Jungkook and I have very different research interests."

"Actually, I think it's a great idea," Jungkook said, and Taehyung's head snapped toward him in surprise. The younger man was smiling, but there was something sharp in his eyes. "I'd love to work with Taehyung-ssi. It would be... educational."

There was something in the way he said "educational" that made Taehyung's skin prickle.

"Wonderful!" Professor Min beamed, completely missing the undercurrent. "I'll send you both the details. The symposium is in six weeks, so you'll have plenty of time to prepare. I'm excited to see what you come up with."

He dismissed them, and Taehyung found himself walking out of the classroom beside Jungkook, the silence between them heavy and uncomfortable.

"We should meet to discuss the project," Jungkook said once they were in the hallway, his voice still that same cool, professional tone. "When are you free?"

"I'm always free," Taehyung said before he could stop himself. "I mean—I can always make time. Whenever works for you."

"How about tonight? Eight PM, in the physics building study room?"

"Fine."

"Fine." Jungkook adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder, and the movement made his sweater ride up slightly, revealing a strip of smooth skin. Taehyung forced himself to look away. "I'll see you then, Taehyung-ssi."

He walked away, his hips swaying in that denim skirt, and Taehyung watched him go with a mixture of dread and anticipation churning in his stomach.

This was going to be a disaster.

He needs to brace up for the Strom.

Taehyung arrived at the study room at 7:55 PM, because he was nothing if not punctual. He'd spent the afternoon trying to focus on his other coursework, but his mind kept drifting to the upcoming meeting. To Jungkook.

He'd changed his shirt three times before leaving his dorm, which was ridiculous. This was a research meeting, not a date. It didn't matter what he wore.

But he'd still chosen his nicest button-up, the dark blue one that Hoseok said brought out his eyes.

The study room was empty when he arrived. He set up his laptop and pulled out his research notes, trying to look busy and professional and not at all like someone whose heart was racing at the thought of being alone with Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook arrived at exactly 8:00 PM, and Taehyung's breath caught in his throat.

The younger man had changed since class. He now wore a flowy cotton miniskirt,even shorter than the denim one from earlier—and a tight white Calvin Klein t-shirt that showed off his curves. His hair was down, falling in soft waves around his face, and his lips were glossy, like he'd just applied lip gloss.

Or like he'd just been sucking on one of his lollipops.

"Sorry if I'm late," Jungkook said, though he wasn't. "I had to finish something."

"You're not late," Taehyung said, his voice coming out rougher than intended. He cleared his throat. "Should we get started?"

"Sure." Jungkook sat down across from him, crossing his legs in a way that made his skirt ride up dangerously high. Taehyung forced himself to look at his laptop screen. "So, what did you have in mind for the presentation?"

They spent the next hour discussing potential research topics, and despite the tension between them, Taehyung found himself getting genuinely excited about the project. Jungkook's ideas were brilliant, his approach to experimental design innovative and creative. When they were talking about physics, it was easy to forget about everything else,the party, the things Taehyung had said, the way Jungkook's skirt kept riding up his thighs.

Almost easy.

"I think we should focus on quantum entanglement," Taehyung said, pulling up a paper he'd been reading. "Specifically, the applications for quantum computing. There's been some interesting recent research about—"

He broke off as Jungkook leaned across the table to look at his screen, bringing them suddenly, breathtakingly close. Taehyung could smell his perfume,something sweet and floral,and see the way his T-shirt dipped low enough to show the curve of his breasts.

"That's interesting," Jungkook murmured, his eyes on the screen, seemingly unaware of what his proximity was doing to Taehyung. "But I think we need an experimental component. Something we can actually demonstrate."

"Right," Taehyung managed, his mouth dry. "That makes sense."

Jungkook pulled back, and Taehyung could breathe again. They continued working, throwing ideas back and forth, and gradually Taehyung started to relax. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe they could actually work together professionally, put aside their personal issues for the sake of the project.

And then Jungkook pulled out a lollipop.

It was cherry-flavored, bright red, and Jungkook unwrapped it slowly before sliding it between his lips. He sucked on it absently as he typed something on his own laptop, and Taehyung tried very, very hard not to stare.

He failed.

"Is something wrong?" Jungkook asked, not looking up from his screen.

"No," Taehyung said quickly. "Nothing's wrong."

"You're staring."

"I'm not—" Taehyung broke off, realizing he was, in fact, staring. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Jungkook finally looked up, and there was something knowing in his eyes. Something that made Taehyung's stomach flip.

"About the project," Taehyung lied.

"Mmm." Jungkook pulled the lollipop from his mouth with a wet pop, and Taehyung's cock twitched in his jeans. "You know, Taehyung-ssi, you're not very good at hiding what you're thinking."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't you?" Jungkook leaned back in his chair, the lollipop held loosely between his fingers. "You've been staring at me all night. Just like you stare at me in class. Just like you stare at me everywhere."

Taehyung's face burned. "I don't—"

"You do." Jungkook's voice was soft, almost gentle. "You watch me constantly, Taehyung. Did you think I didn't notice?"

Taehyung couldn't speak. His throat had closed up, his heart hammering so hard he thought it might burst from his chest.

"At first, I thought you just hated me," Jungkook continued, putting the lollipop back in his mouth and rolling it around with his tongue. "Because of the academic rivalry, you know? But then I started paying attention. And I realized it wasn't hate in your eyes."

"Jungkook—"

"It was want." Jungkook's gaze was intense, pinning Taehyung in place. "You want me, don't you, Taehyung-ssi?"

The question hung in the air between them, heavy and dangerous.

Taehyung should deny it. Should laugh it off, make some excuse, maintain the facade he'd been carefully constructing for months.

But he was so tired. So tired of lying, of pretending, of fighting against the truth that was eating him alive from the inside.

"Yes," he whispered, and the admission felt like jumping off a cliff. "Yes, I want you."

Jungkook smiled, slow and satisfied. "I know."

"You—what?"

"I've known for a while now." Jungkook stood up, and Taehyung's eyes followed him helplessly as he walked around the table. "I've known since that night in the library, when you couldn't stop staring at me. Maybe even before that."

He stopped beside Taehyung's chair, close enough to touch, and Taehyung had to tilt his head back to look at him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Taehyung asked, his voice hoarse.

"Because I wanted to see how long you'd last." Jungkook reached out and gently removed Taehyung's glasses, folding them and setting them on the table. Without them, Jungkook's face was slightly blurred, but Taehyung could still see the heat in his eyes. "I wanted to see how long you'd keep pretending you didn't want me."

"I'm not—I wasn't—"

"You were." Jungkook's fingers traced along Taehyung's jaw, and Taehyung shuddered at the touch. "You've been pretending this whole time. Pretending you don't watch me. Pretending you don't think about me. Pretending you don't get jealous when you see me with other people."

"I don't get jealous," Taehyung said, but it was a weak protest.

"Liar." Jungkook's thumb brushed over Taehyung's lower lip, and Taehyung's breath hitched. "You were so jealous at that party. I could see it on your face. You wanted to kill every person who touched me."

"Jungkook—"

"Say it," Jungkook commanded softly. "Say you're jealous. Say you want me."

"I—" Taehyung's hands clenched into fists on his thighs. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because if I say it, if I admit it, then it's real. And I can't....I don't have time for this. I have my studies, my research, my father's dream—"

"Fuck your father's dream," Jungkook said, and the words were so shocking that Taehyung could only stare at him. "I'm sorry, but it's true. You're so busy living for a dead man that you're not living at all."

"You don't understand—"

"I understand that you're miserable. I understand that you're so repressed you can barely function. I understand that you want me so badly you can't think straight, but you won't let yourself have me because of some promise you made when you were grieving."

Taehyung stood up abruptly, and suddenly they were face to face, barely inches apart. "You don't know anything about me."

"I know more than you think." Jungkook's hand came up to rest on Taehyung's chest, right over his racing heart. "I know you're brilliant. I know you're dedicated. I know you're lonely. And I know you want me."

"Even if I do," Taehyung said, his voice shaking, "it doesn't matter. You're not—you don't want me. You want everyone. You're with someone different every week."

"Is that what you think?" Jungkook's laugh was soft, almost sad. "You really don't pay attention, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't been with anyone in over  weeks,Taehyung. Not since I realized you were watching me."

Taehyung's mind reeled. "But—the party. That talk boy you were kissing—"

"I kissed him because you were watching. Because I wanted to see your reaction." Jungkook's hand slid up to cup Taehyung's face. "I wanted to make you jealous. And it worked, didn't it?"

"You—" Taehyung couldn't process this. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I wanted you to snap. I wanted you to stop pretending and admit what you really feel." Jungkook's thumb stroked over Taehyung's cheekbone. "I've been waiting for you to break, Taehyung. I've been pushing you, testing you, trying to make you lose control."

"Why?" The word came out as barely a whisper.

"Because I want you too," Jungkook said simply. "I've wanted you since the first day of class, when you walked in with your glasses and your serious expression and your brilliant mind. But you were so closed off, so determined to ignore me, that I didn't know how to reach you. So I decided to make you come to me instead."

Taehyung's world tilted on its axis. "You—you want me?"

"Yes, you idiot." Jungkook smiled, and it was genuine this time, warm and affectionate. "I want you. I've wanted you this whole time."

"But you're....and I'm—" Taehyung couldn't form a coherent sentence. His brain had short circuited.

"You're what? A virgin? A nerd? Inexperienced?" Jungkook's smile widened. "I know. And I don't care. In fact, I find it kind of hot."

"Hot," Taehyung repeated dumbly.

"Very hot." Jungkook leaned in closer, his lips nearly brushing Taehyung's. "The thought of being your first... of teaching you, showing you everything... it's incredibly hot."

Taehyung's hands came up to grip Jungkook's waist, finally, finally allowing himself to touch. "Jungkook—"

"Kiss me," Jungkook whispered. "Stop thinking and just kiss me."

And Taehyung, who had spent months,years,denying himself, finally gave in.

He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Jungkook's, and it was like coming home. Jungkook's lips were soft and sweet from the lollipop, and he opened for Taehyung immediately, his tongue sliding against Taehyung's in a way that made Taehyung's knees weak.

The kiss was everything Taehyung had imagined and more. It was desperate and hungry and perfect, and he couldn't get enough. His hands tightened on Jungkook's waist, pulling him closer, and Jungkook made a soft sound of pleasure that went straight to Taehyung's cock.

They kissed until they were both breathless, until Taehyung's lips were swollen and Jungkook was panting against his mouth.

"Fuck," Taehyung breathed, resting his forehead against Jungkook's. "Fuck, I've wanted to do that for so long."

"I know," Jungkook said, his hands sliding up to tangle in Taehyung's hair. "I could tell."

"I'm sorry," Taehyung said suddenly, the words spilling out. "For what I said at the party. I didn't mean it. I was drunk and jealous and I—"

"I know," Jungkook said again, cutting him off with another kiss. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that." Jungkook pulled back slightly, his eyes searching Taehyung's face. "But you need to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Stop pretending. Stop hiding. If we're going to do this, I need you to be honest with me. With yourself."

Taehyung swallowed hard. "I don't know if I can. I don't know how to be anything other than what I am."

"Then let me teach you," Jungkook said softly. "Let me show you that it's okay to want things. To feel things. To live."

Taehyung looked at him,really looked at him and saw not just the beautiful, confident playboy everyone else saw, but something deeper. Something real and vulnerable and genuine.

"Okay," he whispered. "Okay."

Jungkook smiled, and it was like the sun coming out from behind clouds. "Good. Now kiss me again."

Taehyung did.

After that night in the study room, everything changed.

And yet, nothing changed at all.

They didn't start dating. Didn't hold hands in the hallways or sit together at lunch. To the outside world, they were still rivals, still barely tolerating each other's presence.

But in private, when they met to work on their research project, the air between them crackled with tension and possibility.

Jungkook seemed to take perverse pleasure in pushing Taehyung's buttons. He'd wear even more provocative outfits to their meetings,skirts so short they barely covered anything, tops so tight they left nothing to the imagination. He'd lean in close when looking at Taehyung's laptop, his breath warm against Taehyung's neck. He'd play with his lollipops in ways that were absolutely deliberate, his tongue swirling around the candy in a way that made Taehyung's mind go blank.

And Taehyung, despite his best efforts to maintain some semblance of control, was slowly losing his mind.

"You're doing this on purpose," he accused one evening, two weeks after their first kiss. They were in the study room again, ostensibly working on their presentation, but Taehyung hadn't been able to focus for the past twenty minutes because Jungkook kept shifting in his seat, making his tiny skirt ride up to reveal the lace edge of his panties.

"Doing what?" Jungkook asked innocently, but his eyes were dancing with mischief.

"You know what." Taehyung gestured vaguely at Jungkook's outfit,a pink miniskirt and a white crop top that showed off his breasts. "This. All of this."

"I'm just wearing clothes, Taehyung-ssi."

"You're wearing barely anything."

"Does it bother you?" Jungkook leaned forward, his elbows on the table, and the movement made his breasts press together in a way that was absolutely intentional. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Yes," Taehyung admitted, his voice strained. "It makes me very uncomfortable."

"Good." Jungkook's smile was wicked. "That's the point."

"Why are you torturing me?"

"Because it's fun." Jungkook pulled out a lollipop,grape this time and unwrapped it slowly. "And because I like watching you try to maintain control."

"I'm not—"

"You are." Jungkook slid the lollipop into his mouth, his lips wrapping around it obscenely. "You're always so controlled, Taehyung. So buttoned up. I want to see what happens when you finally let go."

"I can't let go," Taehyung said, his hands clenching into fists on the table. "I can't....if I let go, I don't know what I'll do."

"That's what I'm counting on." Jungkook stood up and walked around the table, and Taehyung's eyes followed him helplessly. "I want to see you lose control. I want to see what you're like when you're not thinking about your father's dream or your studies or anything except what you want."

He stopped beside Taehyung's chair, close enough that Taehyung could feel the heat of his body.

"And what I want," Jungkook continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, "is for you to want me so badly you can't stand it anymore."

"I already want you that badly," Taehyung said, his voice rough. "You know I do."

"Then why haven't you done anything about it?" Jungkook's hand came to rest on Taehyung's shoulder, his fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. "We've kissed once. Two weeks ago. And since then, you've barely touched me."

"Because I'm trying to be respectful. I'm trying not to rush you."

Jungkook laughed, the sound bright and genuine. "Taehyung, I'm not some delicate flower. I know what I want. And what I want is for you to stop being so careful with me."

"I don't want to mess this up," Taehyung admitted. "I don't know what I'm doing. I've never—I don't have experience with this."

"I know." Jungkook's hand slid from his shoulder to cup his face, tilting it up so Taehyung was looking at him. "And that's okay. But you need to stop overthinking everything. Stop worrying about doing it right and just... feel."

"I don't know how to just feel," Taehyung said, and there was something raw in his voice. "I've spent so long pushing everything down, ignoring everything except my studies, that I don't know how to be any other way."

"Then let me help you." Jungkook leaned down, his lips brushing against Taehyung's ear. "Let me teach you."

TBC