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Seonghwa is not in a predicament.
It's— it's fine. Really.
It's just that he's kind of, sort of, a little bit, in love with his best friend, who's also kind of, sort of, balls deep in him right now.
Yunho’s breath is shaky and ragged against the skin of Seonghwa’s temple as he slows down from pounding into Seonghwa so fast and deep that all Seonghwa could see was stars from another dimension a few seconds ago.
“Yunho-ya,” he breathes, when Yunho’s cock in his ass turns slow and lazy. Yunho’s breath catches. Seonghwa tries hard not to think anything of it, tries to push down the thoughts his brain is feeding him of Yunho being just as emotionally affected as Seonghwa feels right now. It’s a recurring thing, if he’s being honest — thinking himself to the brink of insanity about whether Yunho thinks that things between them are still the same as when they started this whole deal to begin with, or if Yunho feels the shift, too.
But before he can even think back to what he was going to say, the words are snatched from his mouth to be replaced with a gasp as Yunho effortlessly flips him over on the bed so that he has full access to Seonghwa's ass. Seonghwa feels particularly insane about this position, and he doesn't get the time to brace himself before Yunho is dragging his cock along his asscrack, the motion so fluid and noisy and slick that it makes the pool of heat in Seonghwa’s abdomen only grow and grow, and the throbbing of his own cock unbearable.
Yunho never kisses Seonghwa during times like these — or ever, really — but he comes close; just like now, where his breath fans across the space between Seonghwa’s shoulder blades.
Yunho keeps rubbing himself off on Seonghwa’s ass, hands carefully not touching any part of Seonghwa as they lay pressed on the mattress on either side of his waist. And the sensation is maddening, it's torture — Seonghwa knows for a fact now that Yunho won't put his cock back inside him until he's done edging himself to the brink. But he tries anyway, in between high-pitched moans, “Yunho-ya, Yunho-ya, please— fuck, please.”
Yunho grunts from above, the vibration of his voice sending a jolt down Seonghwa’s cock. “Fuck,” he breathes, and the drag of his cock gets messier, faster. He teases Seonghwa’s hole, letting just the tip pass through it, before retracting and continuing to rub off against Seonghwa’s asscrack. Seonghwa whines in impatience.
“I'm— I'm going to—” he manages, before he's frantically sneaking a hand down to jerk himself off. The friction is so good — it makes the pleasure in his abdomen build and build and build— the noises coming out of his mouth are obscene and loud, but he goes faster, working with the limited space he has while being pressed down by Yunho— Yunho, whose breathing gets harsher and more desperate, whose cock is wet and heavy where it roughly prods Seonghwa’s hole, whose lips and nose Seonghwa can feel pressed against his back — it's too much.
The noises coming out of Seonghwa’s mouth never seem to stop, and he feels Yunho's restraint wear out with every passing second. The teasing of Yunho’s tip is almost enough— he feels his release build, and he's whining, eyebrows taut, teeth biting down on his lips, his hand tight on his cock, when—
“Hyung,” Yunho whimpers, shaky and pathetic, and Seonghwa stills, short circuits, and then comes all over his fist. The press of Yunho’s cock against his ass is sending him to fucking Mars as he rides the high of his orgasm, and Yunho’s hands, ever so disciplined in not touching him, now come to clutch at his waist as he sighs almost in defeat and uses Seonghwa to come undone, too.
The drag of Yunho’s cock in his ass back in full force and the grip that Yunho's hands have on Seonghwa’s waist cause him to be mind-numbingly oversensitive — he's a moaning, writhing mess by the time Yunho comes.
Seonghwa can feel the warm, slippery slick pour out of his hole, trail down his balls as Yunho pulls out. Seonghwa moans again, this time breathy and light. It is, again, a little torturous how much Yunho is able to make him feel.
A moment later, Yunho's weight shifts on the bed, and then Seonghwa feels his warmth beside him as they lay together, blissed-out after fucking each other’s brains out.
It takes the same amount of time for Seonghwa to even out his breathing as it does for him to realize what an absolutely disgusting state they’re both in — there's sweat and come and drool all over the two of them, and the sheets and pillow covers are in a worse condition.
He tries getting up, his thighs aching a little, just so he can at least wipe himself down with tissues, but Yunho quickly grabs his arm and pulls him back to his previous position. He feels a little breathless as he looks at Yunho questioningly, although he's doubtful his face is even seen properly in the darkness of the room.
“Just…” Yunho says, voice small. Seonghwa feels his heart stutter where it sits in his chest. Yunho looks to the side, and he's so close — his eyes are big and glassy and almost pleading, and Seonghwa fully forgets how to breathe. Is this your way of cuddling after sex, Yunho-ya? he thinks helplessly. “Stay. A little longer.”
Seonghwa can't do anything but swallow and nod.
If his heart gives another stutter in his chest, this time confused as to what this could possibly mean for the two of them, it's between Seonghwa and his quiet longing for his best friend that is yet to see the light of day.
—
“I— I don’t think I can do this anymore,” Seonghwa blurts in the middle of a lecture, some two weeks later.
Wooyoung and Hongjoong both look at him in question.
“Yeah, this guy’s boring me to death,” Wooyoung says, slumping in his seat. “Why did I even pick this class? It’s all Hongjoong’s fault. Wanna watch a movie after this?”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Seonghwa says, annoyed. He sighs, resting his head on the desk.
He’s thought about it many times. Ending things with Yunho. Well — the sexual things. Seonghwa thinks he can bear being just friends with Yunho, thinks he can manage to put a lock on all his emotions if they stop intimately exploring each other’s bodies.
But Seonghwa is neither strong enough to do that, nor willing. The sex is so good — too good. It’s just that it would be infinitely better if Yunho kisses him through it, whispers words of praise into his ear every time Seonghwa does something good, takes Yunho well; but that has been wholly out of the equation since the start of their arrangement.
No kissing. No pretending to be lovers. Only using hands and dick on each other, and mouths to moan in pleasure.
It was easy the first time. Easier the second. It got easier each time, but after the two of them decided to room together, it inevitably led to them becoming closer as friends. They didn’t really have a choice — they sat through each other’s breakdowns before exams, brought each other food, helped each other study, fucked each other when times called for it — they did everything together, and it was easy.
That was right up until Seonghwa’s heart got tangled up in between, and things turned messy for him.
Yunho’s desperate breathing as he tried not to show the extent of how affected he really was suddenly wasn’t enough. Yunho’s hands grazing Seonghwa’s skin only every now and then, when things got too intense, wasn’t enough either. Seonghwa started wanting Yunho — wanting him to lose composure, to blurt things in between, to touch him, to, just, be more emotional about the sex so it didn’t feel like they were doing each other a favour. Which, now that Seonghwa thinks about it, that’s probably what Yunho thinks it is. That’s what it’s supposed to be — that’s what they agreed upon.
But every time Seonghwa thinks about it, the bitterness at the back of his throat is ever growing, and the pace of his heart is just a beat too fast.
He has already overanalysed every single thing they do, both during and not during sex, and there’s really no definitive conclusion he has come to. Which is tiring — it’s so, so tiring.
Seonghwa sighs again, closing his eyes.
“You’re just sighing up a storm and not telling us anything,” Hongjoong says from behind Wooyoung. “Is this about Yunho again?”
“Obviously,” Wooyoung supplies. Seonghwa looks at them from where his cheek is pressed against the desk, and then immediately wishes he hadn’t, because Hongjoong’s hand is wrapped tightly around Wooyoung’s waist and they’re sitting a little too close for Seonghwa’s liking.
He cringes.
That should be happening to me, he thinks.
God, he’s so fucking bitter.
Seonghwa turns his head away from both of them and sighs again, and spends the rest of the lecture wallowing in his own gloom.
“Seonghwa-ya,” Hongjoong calls as they’re leaving. Seonghwa turns to look at him. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” Seonghwa says, shaking his head. He lugs his feet across the corridor, completely unconvincing.
“Come on,” Wooyoung says, pulling Seonghwa by the hand. “We’re gonna go on a coffee shop date where you’ll spill everything!”
It’s annoying, but it’s also endearing, so Seonghwa lets himself get dragged to their favourite coffee shop on campus, Wooyoung not letting his hand go even for a bit.
“Go order for us,” Wooyoung demands and shoos Hongjoong away, and they find themselves a seat at the far end of the café. “So,” he starts, “did you guys talk about it? Or is it just the usual stuff?”
Seonghwa has to shove down the embarrassment that rises in his chest before reluctantly answering, “Just the usual.”
“Ah,” Wooyoung says, tone laced with the kind of sympathy that Seonghwa both hates and craves.
They sit in silence until Hongjoong comes with their drinks, and Seonghwa slowly sips on it before giving in and blurting out every single one of his thoughts. “I— I’m in love with him,” he starts. “It’s been five months since we became roommates, eight since we started this whole thing— fuck, it’s almost been a year. But I— I’ve been in love with him longer than I told either of you. It’s just— he’s so fucking nice and kind and gentle with me all the time, but when we have sex, it’s like he’s a whole different person. Like he doesn’t know me. Like he doesn’t know what I like, even after all these months of living with each other. How could he not know that I— I want…”
Seonghwa stops, because the thought is too pathetic for him to admit out loud even after all that.
How could he not know that I want to kiss him? I want to kiss him. I want him to kiss me. I want to feel his lips on mine, on my cheeks, on my forehead, on my neck. I want him to kiss me like he means it. Why won’t he ever kiss me?
Hongjoong looks at him, waiting for him to continue. But Seonghwa just slumps in defeat, brain foggy with sleep deprivation and heart a pounding, stuttering mess.
He feels the onset of tears threatening to spill down his face, and it’s all so silly and avoidable and pitiful that Seonghwa doesn’t let himself have the relief of crying it out in front of his best friends.
“I hate this so much,” he says weakly, going back to his drink.
Another stretch of silence follows, and Wooyoung and Hongjoong conveniently converse with their eyes throughout it.
Once they’re done with their drinks, they’re heading out, and Wooyoung links his arms through Seonghwa’s as they walk back to their dorms. None of them have class later in the day. “Hongjoongie hyung and I were thinking of suggesting this to you,” he says, sounding hesitant. “I’m pretty sure you won’t do it, but… it’s an option.”
“What is?” Seonghwa asks, resting his head on Wooyoung’s. Hongjoong quietly walks on his other side. He hates to admit it, but their little coffee shop date did loosen his heart a little. He feels more annoyed at himself and his situation, and less downright depressed.
Wooyoung says, “You could… maybe seek out someone else? To, like, get out of these frequent spirals you slip into? Because you’re constantly with him all the time, you don’t really have room to breathe. So I don’t know, maybe spend the night with someone else? You could give it a small try, just once. Maybe just a date. You don’t even have to do anything with them.”
“It’s just that we think you spend too much time in your head, you know?” Hongjoong pipes in. “It’ll be good to branch out. Even if you get nothing out of it, it’s at least a step further in breaking free from your thoughts. It’ll be refreshing.”
Seonghwa considers it. “I don’t know…” he says, trailing off.
“You don’t have to, obviously,” Hongjoong says, “but it’s… an option.”
They walk the rest of the way to their dorms in silence, Seonghwa pondering over the idea. Frankly, he hates it. The thought of letting anyone but Yunho touch him in places where Yunho’s hands have left invisible marks, letting them kiss his lips when Yunho hasn’t, letting them hold his waist in faux-adoration — it makes his stomach recoil.
But maybe that’s why he needs to take their suggestion into proper consideration; maybe this is how he finally learns how to let Yunho go. It’s been months and months of silent asks and louder rejections, and Seonghwa feels more and more used. That’s not something he wants his best friend to make him feel.
When they reach Seonghwa’s dorm building, Hongjoong gives his shoulders a tight squeeze, and Wooyoung reaches up to press multiple kisses on his cheek. Seonghwa preens, both smiling and about to burst into tears at the affection directed at him.
“I love you, okay?” Wooyoung says, holding Seonghwa’s cheek. “I think Yunho does, too, but he’s way more emotionally constipated than me. A break from each other will do you good, hyung. No matter what kind. Literally just go out to study with one of your classmates in the library. Just, you know, away from all of your and Yunho’s things tangled up in more ways than one.”
Seonghwa nods. He feels like a kid even though Wooyoung is the younger one — but he appreciates him so much nonetheless.
He walks back to his dorm, puts his bag down and goes through all the assignments he has due that week.
Maybe I can call up Minho. Maybe he’ll understand, he thinks.
He takes his phone and types out a message before he can talk himself out of it.
Seonghwa 1:28PM
hey
wanna do that sql project
together?
i could use some help lol
It’s well into the evening when he gets a reply.
Minho 5:19PM
sorry for responding so late,
i was in class TT
and sure, we could! what time?
i got no plans lol
Seonghwa 5:20PM
maybe after 6pm tomorrow?
Minho 5:20PM
done!
Seonghwa 5:20PM
:)
Seonghwa gulps, putting his phone screen down on his desk. Yunho isn’t back yet, probably out with friends.
Nothing needs to happen, he tells himself. It’s just going to be a study session.
—
Seonghwa meets Minho in the library at six in the evening the next day just as planned. They exchange smiles and a brief hug, after which Minho casually slides into the seat next to Seonghwa instead of across.
Seonghwa doesn’t pay it much attention, though.
Nothing has to happen, he tells himself again.
He and Yunho haven’t done anything since that day two weeks back. Which isn’t unusual — but Seonghwa finds himself missing Yunho now more than ever. They’ve been fine, for the most part; normal in ways they’ve always been. Yunho has a conference to attend, so he’s been pretty busy. Seonghwa, too, has to come up with an idea for his project — so it’s fine. Things are fine, really.
“So,” Minho says, opening his laptop. Seonghwa looks to the side to see a calm, relaxed smile on his face. “What’s your project based on?”
Seonghwa decides to indulge him, shaking free of his thoughts. “Well, since professor left everything up to us, I came up with the idea to make an endemic wildlife database.” He goes to explain further, “Because as far as I’ve researched, all information on the existent, extinct, and endangered species that’s native to our country can't be found in one place — it’s scattered all over, and you wouldn’t know certain things about certain species unless you explicitly search for it. So I thought it would be interesting to combine it all in one place and make a database for it.”
“Seonghwa-ya!” Minho exclaims. “That’s so awesome, what the hell?”
Seonghwa just laughs. “I mean, Yunho is a bio student, so I got some ideas while talking to him…”
“I was also thinking of something biology-adjacent!” Minho says. “But it’s based on aquatic life. I still haven’t even really considered it much — but I got the idea from this random video I saw.”
“Wait,” Seonghwa says. “Professor mentioned we could do it individually or as a pair. And we’re thinking of similar things. Would you want to…”
Minho’s eyes light up. “Really?” he asks.
“Why not? We’re in tune with each other’s workflow, right?”
“If you’re sure…” Minho says, nodding. He unlocks his laptop and opens a document. “I collected some information on all the aquatic species found in Jeju.”
“Oh!” Seonghwa says, perked. “I was actually just thinking it would be pretty difficult to make a database for all the species present in our country. So maybe our project can focus on just Jeju-do?”
“Sure,” Minho says. “If we’re doing it that way, I have quite a bit of info, actually.”
Seonghwa looks through everything, and he must say — it’s pretty thorough for a project that isn’t even solidified yet.
“What about you?” Minho asks once they’re done going through his document.
“My stuff is kind of… ironically, scattered all over my docs,” Seonghwa says, laughing a little.
“We should first combine what we both have, in that case,” Minho suggests. “Should we just start working on it right away?”
“Okay!” Seonghwa says, and then opens up his laptop. “So this is what I have as of now…”
The rest of the evening passes by in a blur. Seonghwa barely thinks of anything other than the work at hand, and with Minho as his new project partner, they breeze through a chunk of the research work.
It’s not after a whole two hours that they notice how much time has flown by.
Seonghwa stretches his arms above his head, just in time for his stomach to growl loudly.
The sound makes Minho laugh. “Yeah, we should go get dinner,” he says.
They pack things up soon, and then they’re heading towards the dining hall.
Minho takes the lead and gets both of them plates, and then starts loading his and Seonghwa’s plate with food as they go. Seonghwa is touched; he feels relieved and a little moved as Minho takes care of him during their little trip along the length of the hall where the dinner items are placed in large containers.
They find a place to sit somewhere in the middle, and just like back at the library, Minho chooses to sit beside Seonghwa rather than across from him. Seonghwa, again, doesn’t point that out. He simply focuses on inhaling his food. The chaos of the dining hall thins out as people start leaving. Vaguely, Seonghwa thinks it’s a good thing he came late for once.
“Got any plans after this?” Minho asks, turning towards Seonghwa. They’re sitting close, knees occasionally brushing every now and then.
“Not really,” Seonghwa says. “Though I might finish organizing our ER-diagrams, just a little…”
Minho laughs. “I meant, like, outside of college. I guess not,” he says, nodding, as if he’s making a mental note of it.
For what? Seonghwa wonders.
They eat slowly, making lazy, unimportant conversation. Seonghwa feels himself unwind as they talk, which is easy because Minho is a funny guy — he makes Seonghwa laugh a lot, and it’s nice. Laughing about random things instead of floundering in his repressed-but-not-so-repressed feelings for Yunho is a pleasant, welcome change.
Thank you, Wooyoung-ah, he thinks, sometimes your ideas aren’t half bad.
When both of them are done, the hall is fully empty, save for the workers and staff there. They quickly discard the trash and put their dirty plates where they belong, and then they’re walking out of the dining hall, the cool air of the night hitting their skin.
Seonghwa closes his eyes and just breathes in, one hand clutching his laptop bag that’s slung across his shoulder. He’s not expecting it when Minho asks, “Do you wanna… go to my room?”
It makes him stop short, and the words just hang in the air for a moment. He obviously knows what Minho is suggesting. And really — it wouldn’t be their first time. Before Yunho came along to become a permanent fixture in his life, Seonghwa slept around with many of his friends. It isn’t an awkward or unwarranted ask; in fact, Seonghwa secretly hoped for it before they even met up.
So why does it make the bitterness at the back of his throat vehemently flare up almost instantly?
I’m tired, Minho-ya, he could say.
No, Minho-ya, I’m in love with my best friend who probably doesn’t love me back and the sex these days has been torture for me so even though I called you up to low-key use you as a rebound I don’t think I have it in me to actually go through with the idea, sorry, he could also say.
“Okay,” he says instead, gulping. “Sure.”
Minho shoots him a bright smile, and they continue walking. “I was half expecting you to say no because you had a boyfriend,” he admits, laughing a little. He looks curiously at Seonghwa — who tries really hard not to panic and bolt to his room where he can hibernate for the rest of the day, maybe week — and continues, “You and Yunho aren’t a thing?”
Seonghwa’s throat gets tight. “No,” he says, and doesn’t follow it up with anything.
Bitter. It’s so, so bitter.
He doesn’t know if it’s because Minho can read Seonghwa like an open book right now, because he’s surprised when Minho asks, “You sure you wanna do this?”
“I— yeah. Yeah, I’m sure,” Seonghwa says too quickly.
Minho takes his hand in a warm hold, pressing a featherlight kiss to it. Seonghwa is shocked at how he feels absolutely nothing. All that craving for someone to put their lips on him, and none of it feels right because it’s not Yunho. “You don’t sound very sure,” Minho slurs. Seonghwa can tell he’s trying to be all attractive and seductive, but fuck, all he can think about is how much better it would be if Yunho were in Minho’s place.
“It’s just,” Seonghwa says, and then the truth is spilling out of him, unbidden, “things between us aren’t that… great. Or defined. And I— I have feelings for him. But he doesn’t know. So it’s just— a lot.”
Minho’s hand squeezes Seonghwa’s. “Want to forget about him for tonight, then?” he asks, unfazed.
“Yeah. I do,” Seonghwa admits. He looks down, something like embarrassment and shame sloshing in at the bottom of his stomach.
“Well,” Minho says, and Seonghwa looks up to see a smug smile playing on his lips. “You know I’m good with my mouth —so forget him, you shall.”
Seonghwa laughs at the unexpected brag, amused. “Thank you for your service, Minho-ya,” he says, tugging his hand closer.
This pulls a laugh from Minho, too, and they walk the rest of the distance to Minho’s dorm, hand in hand.
Just as they’re about to enter his building, though, Seonghwa hears a very, very familiar sound of laughter. He panics, and looks from side to side, trying to gauge where it’s coming from. His heart picks up pace as the sound gets louder. Breathy, airy, unrestrained — that has to be—
“Seonghwa hyung?”
Seonghwa snaps his head back to see Yunho standing there, face pale in mild shock, hand holding a phone that’s coming down from his ears, eyes jumping from Seonghwa’s face to his hand that’s still clasped in Minho’s.
“I— what are you doing here?” Yunho asks, eyes wide.
“What— What are you doing here?” Seonghwa asks back, heart in his throat.
“I told you I was going to be late today because of the conference,” Yunho says, as if that explains anything.
So? Seonghwa wants to ask. What was I supposed to do? “You did,” he says instead, gulping.
“And I just came back! Let’s— we should go,” he says, quickly striding forward and grabbing Seonghwa’s free hand, completely ignoring Minho. He has a vice-like grip on Seonghwa, and despite every nerve in Seonghwa’s body asking him not to comply, he still lets go of Minho’s hand with a quick apology and lets himself be dragged away by Yunho.
The touch sends sparks up his arms. The grip that Yunho has on him doesn’t falter even a little till they’re standing outside their shared dorm room, and Seonghwa gulps as Yunho punches the passcode.
Why is he this worked up? he wonders. Why, Yunho-ya? You clearly don’t want to do anything about this thing between us. Why can’t I go out and have my fun?
They get in, and before Seonghwa can say anything, Yunho is already cornering him against the wall, although he looks more scared than Seonghwa feels. “Why… why were you both holding hands?” he asks quietly.
“What?” The word spills out of Seonghwa before he even has the time to think. But now that he’s at it, he presses on, “Why can’t I hold some guy’s hand?”
“Because— because we’re…” Yunho stammers, and then stops.
Seonghwa has to laugh. “We’re what? Because we’re what, Yunho-ya?”
“That guy doesn’t have the right to touch you,” Yunho says instead, voice firm like he's never been more sure of anything in his life. Seonghwa looks up to see his jaw clenched, eyes pointedly looking down at his hands. Fuck. Those hands of his.
“And you get to decide that?” Seonghwa murmurs, pushing close. Yunho just stands there, taking their proximity with all the strength he can manage.
He visibly gulps. “I— I don’t. But— Seonghwa hyung—”
Seonghwa shivers at the mention of his name, the sound very inconveniently causing his cock to twitch. So he pushes further, and then further some more, till their bodies are flush against each other. Yunho gulps again, and one of his hands comes up to brace against the wall so Seonghwa is partially caged.
Touch me, Seonghwa thinks. Why won’t you touch me?
“Tell me,” he says instead, slowly grinding against Yunho’s hips. He can feel Yunho’s cock fill out quickly as he goes, and revels at how his face twists and contorts as he continues. “What are we, Yunho-ya?”
Yunho’s head drops to rest in the crook of his neck, where Seonghwa can feel how breathless he is. “I don’t know,” he admits. Seonghwa sneaks a hand between them, and cups Yunho’s cock, gently stroking him through his dress pants. Yunho moans at the contact, lips wet and open and pressing against Seonghwa’s collarbone, but he doesn’t commit to it and kiss Seonghwa — just lets the maddening touch of his lips stay ever-present against the junction of his neck — and Seonghwa moans in return. Every nerve in his body feels like it’s on fire.
“Do you want us to be anything?” Seonghwa questions with the remaining sanity he has left, his hand on Yunho’s cock tightening. Yunho whimpers and pushes further, fucking into Seonghwa’s hand. And Seonghwa gives it to him — he’s weak, and Yunho sounds so needy, so pretty.
“I don’t know,” Yunho breathes. Seonghwa uses his other hand to work open Yunho’s shirt, and then harshly pulls it out of his pants where he’s neatly tucked it in. It falls off his shoulders in one smooth motion, and Seonghwa begins trailing a hand all over his chest and abdomen. “Seonghwa— Seonghwa hyung,” he moans, head still pressed into the crook of Seonghwa’s neck.
Seonghwa responds by circling a thumb over his nipple, and Yunho shudders under him, and Seonghwa just keeps going, because he’s frustrated, because he’s pent up, because he’s tired and horny.
“Fuck,” Yunho whispers, his breath hot against the skin of Seonghwa’s neck. He pulls away from Seonghwa and reaches down to grab his wrist, and before Seonghwa can process anything, he’s sprawled on the bed, and Yunho is ripping away the measly layers of clothes he has on. He goes on to discard his own pants and underwear, and Seonghwa has to hold in all the obscene noises threatening to spill from his lips just at the sight of Yunho’s cock — pretty and flushed an angry red, curving up and bouncing off his abdomen in all its hardness.
He moves to hover over Seonghwa, and he’s so big and broad and his cock is brushing against Seonghwa’s, which is making him readily arch his back against the bed and see stars before anything even happens. Yunho keeps himself propped up by one hand and uses his other to stroke Seonghwa, and before Seonghwa can make a snide comment like, Wow, returning the favour, are we? his brain goes static as he feels Yunho’s cock trying to fit into the tight seal of his fist that’s already pumping Seonghwa to full hardness.
The friction is maddening — Seonghwa moans and moans and moans as Yunho’s large hand strokes both their cocks while grinding down on him without purchase. “Fuck— fuck, Yunho— keep going, keep going, Yunho— fuck, Yunho-ya,” Seonghwa babbles, and his legs spread open on their own as they go. He can feel himself already leaking into Yunho’s fist, his own hands gripping the sheets beneath him for dear life. Yunho stops for a second, then removes his hand from Seonghwa’s side to kneel down on the bed in between his thighs, just so he can use both hands to jerk them off.
Seonghwa doesn’t get the time to form a single coherent thought as Yunho’s thumb goes to tease Seonghwa’s slit, coaxing more precome to leak, and Seonghwa finds can’t even breathe. Yunho keeps going, fondling Seonghwa’s balls every now and then, and Seonghwa feels his release build quickly.
“Close, hyung?” Yunho rasps from above, and Seonghwa sees white before he’s coming, drenching Yunho’s hand and cock. Yunho slows down a little, uses Seonghwa’s come to ease the slide of his hand against his own cock, Seonghwa’s still in his hold, and with a needy whimper that causes his eyes to screw shut, he comes, too. The liquid combines with Seonghwa’s that already coats the entirety of Yunho’s fist.
Seonghwa gets all but a second to breathe, before Yunho is hovering over him again. His cock, now soft, brushes against Seonghwa’s stomach, and Seonghwa has to gulp and try not to make a noise.
Yunho looks down, and Seonghwa follows his line of sight to see him warm up the come in his hands. Seonghwa is entirely unprepared when he reaches down to softly circle the spongy area of his hole with those same fingers, easing a finger inside and then sliding out.
Good fucking lord, he thinks, which comes out as a strangled moan, and his cock, thoroughly spent, begins to fill out again.
Seonghwa lets the sheets go, and reaches up to anchor himself by tightly holding on to Yunho’s neck. The touch sends a shock up his arm, and he can see and feel the goosebumps that erupt on Yunho’s arms as Seonghwa continues touching him — his nape, his broad shoulders, his biceps.
His hands are roaming Yunho’s chest, letting his fingers graze over Yunho’s nipples in featherlight caresses, when Yunho’s breath hitches and he’s inserting another finger into Seonghwa. Seonghwa pulls Yunho further down, moaning into the crook of his neck.
I want to kiss you here, he thinks frantically. Yunho-ya, please, let me kiss you.
But he stays where he is, letting himself be taken care of by Yunho, who doesn't sound like he's faring well at all.
The easy glide of his fingers is intoxicating. Yunho knows exactly where Seonghwa's prostate is by now, but he teases and teases and teases until Seonghwa is begging, “Please— Yunho-ya, Yunho-ya, I need—”
A third finger is inserted, and in one swift glide, Yunho’s finger is pressing and prodding against the sweet spot.
“Ah,” Seonghwa cries, back arching, hands going back to gripping the sheets, “fuck— fuck, just like that.”
By the time Yunho feels satisfied with how loose Seonghwa feels, he pulls his fingers out and spreads Seonghwa’s thighs, and then proceeds to line his cock to Seonghwa’s hole.
“Okay?” Yunho asks, pushing in slowly.
The drag is driving Seonghwa insane, but he appreciates Yunho going slow, so he nods frantically, breathy sighs escaping his lips.
Once he’s fully in, his balls flush against Seonghwa’s ass, Yunho moves. His thrusts are shallow, careful — as if he’s not sure if the prep was enough.
“You can move,” Seonghwa says, trying not to sound strangled, eyes fluttering shut.
At that, Yunho picks up pace, and Seonghwa expects him to start going harder and faster like he usually does, but he maintains the same speed, rhythmically fucking into Seonghwa.
It feels strangely intimate — and even more so when he feels Yunho lower himself further down and use one hand to hold Seonghwa’s face, thumb gently caressing his cheekbone.
Seonghwa’s breath catches, and his eyes fly open — and then he’s jumpscared by Yunho’s face just a hairsbreath away from his.
Yunho’s thrusts get more sporadic, losing their cadence, and they maintain eye contact long enough for Seonghwa’s eyes to start burning.
“Seonghwa hyung,” Yunho whispers, his thumb on Seonghwa’s cheek going to trace his lips instead, and Seonghwa just about loses it.
The burn in his eyes gets worse, and his throat gets clogged, and then there’s tears flowing down the sides of his face.
Yunho panics, and his cock slips out of Seonghwa when he positions himself properly to wipe the tears away. Seonghwa whines with impatience as it happens — but Yunho is gently cradling his face and holding it like it’s something wanted, like it’s something precious, so he can’t do anything but preen under the attention.
“I— I’m sorry,” Yunho says, his other hand coming to push Seonghwa’s hair back.
Seonghwa’s breath catches, and he doesn’t know what to do anymore, what to ask anymore — so he just pushes Yunho back and straddles his lap, guiding his cock inside himself again, easily grinding down on it and setting a steady pace. It feels so heavy, so full — Seonghwa has to throw his head back and let out a soft whine at how incredible it feels to be filled up so well.
Yunho grunts from under him, both his hands reaching up to hold Seonghwa by the waist. What makes Seonghwa lose it is the visual of Yunho’s large, lithe hands coming around him so easily and without the usual restraint, gripping and pinching the flesh there to keep himself composed as Seonghwa works his cock until he’s fucked stupid.
“Seonghwa— Seonghwa, hyung,” Yunho whines, arms wrapping around Seonghwa fully as he rides Yunho like his life depends on it. Seonghwa braces his arms on Yunho’s shoulders and quickens his pace, his release already pooling at the pit of his stomach.
“Touch me,” Seonghwa gasps, “touch me, Yunho-ya, touch me, please—”
Yunho does as told, holding himself and Seonghwa up with one hand pressed down on the mattress behind him, and touching Seonghwa — his face, his sweaty neck, his chest, then trailing down to softly stroke his cock.
Seonghwa feels himself leaking, his mouth unfiltered as he moans and curses loudly at the overstimulation, and when Yunho whispers, “It’s okay, hyung, you’re doing so good,” with his lips pressed to Seonghwa’s neck, he loses it, the orgasm rushing out of him and coating Yunho’s fist yet again.
Yunho breathes heavily as he strokes Seonghwa to completion, and even after Seonghwa is done and his cock grows soft again, he still keeps grinding down on Yunho’s cock, who now returns his come-ridden hand to brace against the mattress to thrust up, up, up, until he’s a whimpering mess, babbling, “Seonghwa hyung, Seonghwa hyung, just— just a little more, more, please,” and fully coming undone when Seonghwa gives it all to him without hesitation.
They’re both breathing raggedly into each other’s necks when Yunho shivers through the aftershocks of his release, and his cock makes a sloppy sound as it slides out. Seonghwa feels all the come leak out of his hole, the sensation making him moan softly.
Yunho’s hands come up to hold Seonghwa close, and Seonghwa in return holds him back, and then they’re clutching each other tightly with all the intensity they have left in their bodies.
Once their breathing evens out and reaches a semblance of steadiness, Yunho moves to gently place Seonghwa on on the bed, and then returns to his usual position, hovering above him. Seonghwa is about to tell him to just lay down, because his arms have to hurt from how much he’s been using them to stay up all this while, but he stops short when Yunho cradles the side of his jaw and leans in, their noses brushing.
Despite everything they’ve just done, this is what makes Seonghwa’s heart thud the loudest.
Yunho’s breathing is soft against his cheek, then it catches, before he’s saying, “I want to kiss you.”
Seonghwa’s eyes go wide with surprise, and he looks up to see Yunho’s pupils blown. He feels his heart clench and thud and squeeze itself in his chest, and no sound comes out of his mouth — now, when it matters the most.
“I want to kiss you so badly,” Yunho whispers, his voice clogged and choked up. Seonghwa feels a sudden wetness on his cheeks, and then belatedly realizes that Yunho is crying — fully crying, hitched breaths and flushed cheeks.
“Oh, my baby,” Seonghwa says, his own eyes welling up with tears again. He reaches up to grab Yunho’s face and pulls him down, and their lips slot together with the kind of ease that makes butterflies wreak havoc in his stomach.
They kiss slowly, Seonghwa smoothing Yunho’s lips apart before sliding his tongue in, where it meets Yunho’s, hot and wet. The kiss is a little salty, a little sad — but it’s the best thing Seonghwa has ever felt.
Yunho pulls away after a while, eyes rimmed red. “I’m sorry,” he says, wiping his face.
“Come here.” Seonghwa pulls him down until they lay side to side, and Yunho goes easily, tucking himself into the crook of Seonghwa’s neck.
“I’m sorry,” Yunho says again, and he sounds close to another round of crying. Seonghwa is about to tell him he has nothing to be sorry for, before he goes on, “I’ve been so bad at keeping our agreement. I didn’t mean for it to get so messy, I just—”
“It’s okay,” Seonghwa cuts in, stroking his hair.
“It’s not. I— Seonghwa hyung,” Yunho calls.
“Mm?” Seonghwa prompts, heart racing and racing. He knows what’s coming. He knows, and yet — and yet, his heart feels like it’s about to give up on him.
“Fuck,” Yunho breathes, burying his face in Seonghwa’s neck, as if that’s now his safe space. “Fuck, I— I’m in love with you. I’m hopelessly in love with you. And I— I don’t know what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel like— like I might die from it. I’m so sorry.”
Seonghwa feels ticklish as Yunho’s tears wet the side of his neck. He pulls away, cupping Yunho’s cheeks with his free hand, urging him to look up. And Yunho does — and god, Seonghwa can never get tired of seeing his face. His comforting, endlessly beautiful face.
“Why are you sorry?” is the first thing that comes out of Seonghwa’s mouth, murmured against Yunho’s forehead. Seonghwa inhales — takes in the smell of Yunho, in all his sweaty and sex-stained glory.
“I really didn’t want this to get so messy,” Yunho says, closing his eyes. His voice still sounds watery, a little clogged. “You mean too much to me.”
“Yeah?” Seonghwa asks. He shifts on the bed and moves down to where he can be eye-level with Yunho, holding his face. “Do I?”
“Yeah,” Yunho says, nodding.
And instead of giving him an answer to the question Seonghwa knows is floating in between them in all that’s unsaid, he pushes forward and kisses Yunho again.
Yunho is caught off-guard at first, breath hitting Seonghwa’s face harshly, but he eases into it and kisses back, lips parting for Seonghwa to explore deeper.
Yunho’s hands go down to hold Seonghwa by the curve of his waist, and although they both know they’re thoroughly spent and are running on their last remaining bit of energy, it still sends a shiver down his spine. They kiss and kiss and kiss till their mouths are red and swollen.
“I love you,” Seonghwa murmurs when they pull away. “I have for a while now. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yunho’s hand tightens on his waist, pulling him closer. He proceeds to bury himself in Seonghwa’s shoulder, peppering kisses there.
Seonghwa sighs against his hair, taking it all in. Yunho’s lips on him feels infinitely better than he had imagined — in fact, his imagination had done it no justice.
“Could’ve said something sooner, though,” Seonghwa says, earning him a pout in return. “I went around looking for Minho so I didn’t go crazy thinking about you.”
Yunho shudders in his arms. “Thank fuck I found you there today,” he says. “How dare he hold your hand.”
Seonghwa laughs. “If I had known holding some guy’s hand was all it took, I would’ve done it way sooner.”
“Don’t joke about it.” Yunho’s hands on him get tighter, as if even the thought of it is unbearable. “My heart fell to my ass when I saw you there. It felt like my whole life was cracking and raining down in shards in front of my eyes.”
Seonghwa snorts. “Poetic much?”
“Shut up.”
Seonghwa laughs again, and feels Yunho crack up as well.
They simply bask in each other’s presence for a while, getting attuned to each other’s breathing. That is, before Seonghwa’s mind catches up with the downright abhorrent state they’re both in.
It takes a lot of coaxing to get Yunho into the shower, where they rinse each other off.
In all their eight months of fucking each other like rabits, this is the first time they’ve done this.
I can so, so get used to this, Seonghwa thinks, slathering Yunho’s hair with shampoo. I want exactly this, for the rest of my life.
They change the sheets after that and get into bed together, holding each other close.
“Sleep well, Yunho-ya,” Seonghwa says, sleepily pressing a kiss to his lips.
“Good night, hyung.” Yunho nudges his nose into Seonghwa’s cheek, breathing him in. “I love you.”
“Yeah,” Seonghwa whispers, sighing. “Me too.”
—
Yesterday
Minho 9:12PM
so did yunho ask for your hand
in marriage?
god, seonghwa
that man in obsessed w you
i hope yall cleared up whatever
it was
you two look good together, you
know?
—
Today
Wooyoung 10:04AM
OHHHH MINHO SPILLED ALL THE TEA
WAKE YO ASS UP AND FILL ME IN
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?????
Hongjoong 10:33AM
pls reply to wooyoung
he's biting my ear off talking
about you
i hope all is good with yunho,
though
im happy for you if yall sorted
it out
Hongjoong 11:07AM
THIS FUCKING GUY WONT STOP
ANNOYING ME
SEONGHWA-YA, WAKE THE FUCK
UP
SELL THIS LIL SHIT IN THE BLACK
MARKET WHILE YOU'RE AT IT
Wooyoung 11:08AM
don't listen to my dumbass
boyfriend
STFU HONGJOONG HYUNG
I'LL COME BITE YOUR STUPID
CHEEKS
he's so cute though
when he's all red and annoyed
ANYWAY ABOUT YUNHO…