Chapter Text
Jiwoo wasn't entirely sure how they'd ended up in this situation.
That afternoon was supposed to be just another study session at her house. Jiwoo would sit cross-legged on the floor, focused on her books, while Carmen—the long, black haired girl—claimed the living room sofa as if she owned the place.
Jiwoo didn't mind. Carmen had been her best friend since childhood. She was allowed to complain about anything, whine in frustration whenever she couldn't figure something out, or raid Jiwoo's kitchen whenever she got hungry.
That was normal.
What wasn't normal was how she'd ended up sitting on the sofa with Carmen on her lap, the long haired girl's delicate fingers cupping Jiwoo's cheeks while their lips moved against each other in a lingering kiss.
Jiwoo's brain felt like it had completely short-circuited.
The room spun. Her thoughts dissolved into static. The only thing she could focus on was the softness of Carmen's lips and the way her fingertips brushed against Jiwoo's skin so gently it almost hurt.
It felt unreal. Like a dream. Like a wild hallucination. Jiwoo had to reach out and grip the older girl's waist tightly, as though it were the only thing keeping her sane, something solid to keep her grounded.
Eventually, Carmen pulled away. Her caramel-brown eyes were hazy, her breathing uneven. Under the warm glow of the living room lamp, her lips looked swollen and impossibly soft—a clear proof of what they'd just done
A madness.
Jiwoo wants to kiss her again.
"W-What time is it?" Carmen stammered, those big beautiful brown eyes darting around nervously.
"Three, maybe."
Somehow, miraculously, her own voice sounded normal. Which was impressive considering her heart was trying to punch its way out of her chest.
The answer seemed to snap Carmen back to reality. She scrambled out of Jiwoo's lap a little too quickly, suddenly aware of how close they'd been. Her phone was lying on the floor, and she immediately bent down to grab it.
"Mm, I should go home," Carmen murmured.
"Yeah."
"If I get stuck on the homework, I'll let you know."
"Okay."
Carmen nodded.
The awkwardness between them settled almost instantly.
Still somewhat stiff, she gathered her things, avoiding Jiwoo's eyes, and headed toward the front door. Jiwoo followed a step behind.
"Thanks for today," Carmen said. There was still a faint blush lingered on her cheeks, but Jiwoo pretended not to notice.
"Want me to walk you home?"
Carmen shook her head so fast it was almost alarming.
"N-No, I can manage. I mean, It's okay, I'm with Stella. She's waiting at the café across the street. You should stay and clean up. Sorry I can't help."
Normally, Jiwoo would've insisted.
Normally, she would've ignored every excuse Carmen came up with and walked her home anyway.
Today, she just nodded.
"Okay."
She waited until Carmen had crossed the street safely before closing the door. Then she turned around, walked back into the living room, and collapsed onto the couch.
"Fuck," she cursed, slumping back against the cushions with one arm fell over her eyes as she groaned, trying to process the event that had nearly stolen her soul away.
This was a disaster.
Jiwoo knew exactly how disastrous this could become.
She knew how easily that small kiss could ruin her relationship with Carmen. Just look at how Carmen had acted afterward. So stiff. So awkward. Barely able to look Jiwoo in the eye. It almost seemed as though she wanted to escape Jiwoo's presence as quickly as possible.
Jiwoo also cursed her own impulsive instincts for returning every kiss Carmen gave her.
Between the two of them, Jiwoo was supposed to be the rational one. The responsible one.
What the hell just happened?
Some kind of spell?
"Aish, that girl."
Maybe she'd figure it out tomorrow. Maybe she'd go see Carmen and tell her they could pretend it never happened.
That they were still friends.
That nothing had changed.
Which was probably the biggest lie Jiwoo had ever considered telling.
Still.
If it meant keeping Carmen in her life, she'd say it.
But she could think about all of that later—after a shower, before bed, or during breakfast tomorrow.
Right now, she had a much bigger problem.
Because Choi Jiwoo had no idea how she was supposed to live the rest of her life, now that she knew the sweetness of Nyoman Ayu Carmenita's lips.