Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Darkness.

Ebony. Onyx. Eigengrau. Obsidian.

Black, amorphous surfaces, surrounding him from all sides. Cradling his huge, hulking figure entirely- in a way that felt like he was sinking hard, sinking slow; yet he could barely discern any real motion at all.

It was difficult for him to really think, but then at the same time, his thoughts just didn’t seem to stop flowing. Like an inkwell, like a fountain.

…

Sinking, sinking, sinking- and at the very same time, not moving at all.

…

…they left me.

It wasn’t a stroke of sudden enlightenment, not new at all. Not in the slightest.

He’d known this was coming, hadn’t he? He’d… heard. He’d seen, he’d watched from his own little studio shrouded in dark. Words piercing and warning through the veil of light, from the unreachable realm beyond.

He’d heard. Oh, he’d heard.

But TVs were no good at listening, were they?

…

He should have known better.

Tenna curled into himself. He felt nothing, a disgusting excess of nothing, and that numbness alone seemed to stir something deep and heavy within him.

…

“I just do not think it is a… good idea to keep the TV around any longer.”

Deep.

…

And Tenna didn’t understand. How could he? He didn’t understand anything.

A big electric box strapped to the wall, and happy for it, because he was right where he belonged- but in such a fixed position, how could anyone expect him to observe beyond the room he was confined to?

“It is… Kris and Asriel. Any time they get near it, they… well…”

What? What?! He didn’t understand.

He didn’t understand. The longer it went on, the less ashamed he became to admit it, and the more disgusting he felt.

He hadn’t done anything wrong. Had he? Of course he had, but he didn’t know what- and it was killing him.

A-and just as things had started to look up, go right, huh?! Oh, just his LUCK- of course something like this would happen to him, happen to him now. That’s just good TV, isn’t it?!

Hope creates drama, and its revocation just as much. Tantalising to the angst-driven viewer, to the tragedy-deprived.

He’d seen all these tropes before. He’d seen how the lightners relished them, absorbed them into their fancies, their whims.

It only made sense it would happen to him. It was his fault for not expecting it. His fault for falling for it. Hope.

A funny thing. A fickle thing. A trick.

…

Vaguely, a digital, ivory face alight with a sleazy smile flittered through his monitor, and Tenna felt just like tearing himself open and devouring what was inside until he found it, and removed it, and purged it.

He was so close. So fucking close to getting it-

…and now he had nothing.

…nothing, but the dark, struggling to support his weight as he sailed (was he still moving? Had he ever been moving?) through the abyss.

“…oh… and was Ms Boom not saying that…”

Who was that? Why did it matter?? Tenna didn’t know.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID- he didn’t know a thing he couldn’t know a thing and he should have known better he should have seen it coming the second Kris came home looking like that and the second Carol stopped showing up and the second the kids took the console and controllers and games back upstairs and and and and

Tenna made a creak- and suddenly something wet began to swell on what seemed to be the surface of his screen. He was… weeping? Feeling? He didn’t know, he didn’t know, he didn’t know.

…

And he should have known better.

He should’ve fucking known better.

What the hell was TV World gonna do without him…?

…did it matter? He was clearly faulty anyway, but…

…why?

…WHY?!

…

God, you’re such junk.

Tenna sniffled, emitting a small whine as he curled into himself a little more- and that’s when he saw it.

From the corner of his screen, so small he nearly missed it. But then again, he would have likely noticed it at some point anyway, if he was here indefinitely (a thought Tenna took before immediately tossing into the inky abscess of his supressed memories)- wherever here was.

A light.

A pinprick, a star, glowing weak- but oh so bright, as it pierced the black around him.

Tenna stared at it, and it did not waver beneath his gaze. Merely remaining in place- a taunt, an invite, a symbol; he couldn’t discern.

All he knew is that it was there.

…And he couldn’t stop looking at it.

Gathering the strength, Tenna found he could move through this inky plane that consumed him- darkness that should be familiar, should feel like home, prickly against his chassis despite being butter-smooth. It felt like treading through molasses, and Tenna was unsure if that notion bloomed from the texture of the abyss itself, or rather his own convictions. He didn’t care. The sensation remained regardless.

The closer he got to the light, the more it seemed to transform. Pulsing, almost, yet steadfast- proud, confident, burning. Burning bright, burning white, burning up everything.

Like a flame.

Like hope.

It elongated as he trudged onwards, lengthening- and as he drew nearer, he noticed with a jolt that it almost seemed to be as big as him. Almost.

…an opening, maybe…? But why…

He didn’t even know where he was, only that he wasn’t home- but the light, as always, was almost hypnotic in its allure. Opposites attract, don’t they? It felt much like polarised ends of a magnet.

Darkners always found themselves drawn to the pleas of the lightners, hooks out to sea, bait in the water. And performers always found themselves drawn to the promise of the spotlight.

And Tenna was nothing if not a performer.

He stopped in front of it. His body still felt it was cast in the dark around- drowned out, fluid, fluctuating. Barely tangible, and perhaps not even really there at all; deprived of its physical presence along with everything else.

He reached out. He tried.

A large, blocky lavender hand almost seemed to register behind his hollow monitor. Something blinked. A switch flipped.

The light pulsated, daring.

A rift in the night.

What did he have to lose? Rather, what choice did he have?

It’s not like anyone can have their own agency in this world. Not really.

Not when you’re at the whims of those above- and you can’t even blame them.

Tenna could do nothing else but succumb.

And hope.

Foolishly,

foolishly,

hope.

He took the leap.

Tenna wasn’t entirely religious- he’d never felt the need to believe in anything beyond the lightners, beyond the tiny world he belonged to. He knew it was important to them, of course, to believe in something higher; but Tenna himself simply couldn’t observe anything beyond what he had right there.

For the first time, though, he prayed- hymns he’d heard the Dreemurrs recite, psalms they’d learned by heart. He prayed and prayed with all his might for a future he knew he probably didn’t deserve, a future he knew was no longer in his hands (a future that, in all likelihood, probably never was).

And as he plunged into the starlight, he prayed to have hope.

Prayed not to learn his lesson, and selfishly, selfishly prayed that it would never, ever be taken from him again.

“…so then, after Tasque Manager… electrocuted that simpleton to the ground, I had my men promptly remove him from the premises. And I do hope we won’t be seeing him again, or I regret to say that I may get… unpleasant.”

Swatch had ended their sentence with a modulated sigh, but that didn’t deter Tenna’s immediate (maybe slightly exaggerated) instinct to loll her monitor back and laugh.

“Wh- and NOBODY thought to tell me about this?! C’mon, Swatchy!! You know I love laughing at… weird little guys!! With small asses!!”

“(…I mean, I guess the ass thing is a bonus.)”

The butler in question almost seemed to flinch a little at their Lady’s remark, but Tenna decided not to mention it (perhaps subconsciously filing it away in her monitor to ponder later, though). Instead, she simply raised her shot glass to her nose and drained the whole thing in one large gulp, politely slamming the glass into the counter with a big, crooked smile.

Just the way Tenna had asked for it, too- she liked her shots with flavour, almost nectar-like, sickeningly sweet to anybody but her. Nobody in TV World could ever seem to get it right, but she’d discovered very quickly that CYBER WORLD netizens were just different- more willing to bend to her outlandish whims, to accommodate any wacky fancy she took.

…she supposed she should have expected that, though, considering…

…

Oh, yeah! She’d made a pact with herself not to ever think about that anymore, considering the change of environment!

Ha Ha!! She should REALLY stop thinking about that!!

Like. Like seriously. Like right now.

She should stop before she ruins the good mood she’s in- the first truly good mood she’s been in for a while.

…

Oh, shit. Where were her manners…?!

“ as always, Swatch!! Just what the doctor ordered!” she professed quickly, as one huge gloved finger toyed with the rim of her glass. Swatch was turned away, cleaning, but they glanced at Tenna with a fond look and nodded in polite recognition and gratitude. Tenna couldn’t help but smile a little wider.

“…Hey, where’s Tammy, anyhow?”

Swatch clicks something. “She said she had… business to attend to. She’ll be here soon, hopefully.”

Tenna leaned back a little. It was her turn now to click her lips- but!! She… she wasn’t, upset, or anything. Not at all! Disappointed, maybe? It was… a minor setback, but she could handle it.

She’d handled worse. Far worse.

Tenna glided her glass gently across the counter when Swatch stopped busying themselves. “Well, that’s just hunky-doody! I can wait!”

She leaned forward and cupped her hand beside her lips. “(Besides, I’m gonna need like, 40 more of these to ACTUALLY get drunk, so…)”

Swatch simply nodded in understanding, taking the glass to refill it as Tenna hunched over and politely clasped her huge palms over the counter, cord tails swishing behind her.

She felt a little guilty for essentially hanging over her head butler while they were trying to acclimatise to the new café and environment like a shadow, but she just couldn’t help it- not after everything that had transpired.

…everything.

Tenna felt a slight ringing in her monitor, and quickly sent it away.

Things were changing… a lot, now, weren’t they? She hadn’t been in a new place like this since she’d first arrived in CYBER WORLD all those years ago. She hardly remembered it now, and maybe that made sense. Lady “Ant” Tenna had been acting ruler of CYBER WORLD for quite some time now.

What was it, roughly half a decade…? Time seemed to slip past her rather quick these days. She wasn’t even entirely sure how long it had been since she and her citizens (netizens?? God, five years and she still wasn’t caught up on CYBER WORLD’s fancy newfangled lingo) had arrived here in the lightners’ Castle Town (Kris’ Castle Town). It was… strange, but she would get used to it. She’d done this rodeo before, after all! And this time, it wasn’t like she’d be starting completely over- she had her whole world, whole city, behind her.

(…maybe they hadn’t been behind her before, but…)

…It was a new start. A fresh one. It was… it was going to be better this time, the world had seemed to swear, so she’d tolerate it.

(She just wished everything would stop fucking changing all the time-)

Swatch gently slamming the shot glass back onto the counter in front of her snapped her out from her thoughts, and with a jolt and sharp, dull blink of her screen, Tenna shook her monitor, sighing, and took the glass. As she did, she noticed that Swatch had actually prepared something for themselves, as well, and it felt almost like an understatement to say that surprised her. Swatch?? Drinking on the job, indulging themselves like this?! To Tenna, it didn’t seem much like them at all.

Swatch noticed their Lady’s inquisitive glance, and answered it with an almost furtive, gentle grasp of the glass. “…I… thought it, appropriate, to celebrate. Considering the change of scenery, and…”

In the back of her monitor, Tenna remembered vague words, echoing through static like snippets of ancient, dated reruns. Vows, promises. A gruff, gravelly voice (deeply, wonderfully unfamiliar), and a soft, nasally one (deeply, wonderfully scarily familiar)- uprooting her from…

…

She’d held those words close, but almost in an act of defence, she refused to fully remember them. She got the gist.

…The lightners reassured her of her purpose, her worth. Her subjects apologised and swore to do better by her. She got everything she’d wished for, maybe more (than she deserved).

CYBER WORLD closed indefinitely, and now she was here. And things promised to be better.

(Five years, and she’s still refusing to learn her lesson, isn’t she? Five years, and she’s still clinging onto the hope she’s watched fail her time and time again.)

(How can she be so hopeful?? So stupid?! It doesn’t matter that Kris and Noelle were there and that Susie promised Castle Town would be better and all her staff and subjects apologised for leaving and promised to stick by her and understand and accommodate and learn- it’s going to end the same way everything else has ended for her.)

(So why the HECK is she still trying?! Still pretending?!)

Things promised to be better.

Tenna’s grin overwrote her bout of hazy confusion, and after shaking herself free of her thoughts once more, she raised her glass and prompted Swatch to do the same.

“Well. To a new era!”

“To a new era, Lady Tenna.”

With a small, shrill clink, Tenna retracted her glass and drained it. Resting the edge of her monitor against her hand, she felt an itch at the end of her nose, and she didn’t even have to guess why- seconds later, a bright red cosmos bloomed right before her gaze, blocking Swatch out almost entirely.

See? She was happy. She felt happy. She had nothing to worry about.

Everything was going to be fine.

Better still when she caught a small smile creep onto her right-hand’s polygonal face, quiet yet almost relieved as they settled back and sipped their drink.

Tenna liked that. She hadn’t seen Swatch smile like that in quite a while.

It was a rare commodity, to see from them. A scarce luxury Tenna relished, even if she could have whatever she wanted as part of the illustrious CYBER WORLD elite nowadays.

…To Tenna, Swatch was still an enigma in their own right. Subdued, perfectly polite, slightly haughty. Yet, they were fun, and their presence was commanding in a way that made Tenna understand why she had appointed them head butler however many years ago that had been.

But there was always something unspeakable about them, something heavy, and lingering, and hiding. Something that seemed to glint unseen behind eyes cloaked in orange and yellow. Something furtive. It didn’t even feel to Tenna like they had anything to hide, really. They didn’t give that impression (and if they were, it wasn’t like Tenna would have any right to know or understand- even as acting ruler, she just didn’t seem to hold the same authority or understanding as…)

(…)

…Still haunting her even now, wasn’t she?

Seems like she just can’t help herself. Even when Tenna swore not to think about it.

Swatch was just… wholly unknowable, wholly unfathomable to Tenna, in the end. It was a sense they had radiated since the very moment she’d met them all those years ago way back then, and it was an aura that only seemed to grow when Tenna found herself spending more time around them.

…and yet, she still like to think they were… close. That Tenna knew them, could read them.

(…that they were… friends.)

After all, Swatch and Tasque manager, as heads of her staff respectively, were her closest confidants now. Closest ever since…

…

Distantly, there’s a starry jade wallpaper, and a tiny studio, and a sunny moon and a soft blue cloud laughing by her side and she’s banishing the thought directly to the back of her monitor and into the mist that lies inside.

She’s not. Going. To. THINK ABOUT IT.

Tenna steeled herself. God, she was just so… shaky, jumpy, all of a sudden. Easy to trigger, easy to set off. The thrill of new beginnings, perhaps? She could admit that maybe she wasn’t… entirely fond of change, in general (if you were prepared to wrangle it out of her), but she also couldn’t deny that the idea… excited her, in some regard.

…maybe it was just the idea of things getting better.

Maybe it was just the concept of the start of something greater. A good, unmoving eternity.

…wouldn’t that be nice?

(STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID-)

Swatch served her another shot, and they continued like this for a while- Tenna’s boisterous rambling, Swatch’s reserved anecdotes. Nobody was in the café. And, eventually, finally, Tenna could feel herself getting slightly tipsy- with maybe 50 tiny glasses piled beside her on the mahogany countertop, anyhow. Distantly, she felt a little bad about all the glasses Swatch would have to clean, but they liked their work; liked to busy themselves, and so Tenna couldn’t really feel too bad in good conscience.

She smiled. She hadn’t smiled like this in so long, she realised.

She missed it.

And with it, some of her more… potent, lingering worries seemed to trudge to the ends of her monitor, through it; all the way to the world’s edge.

Cyber City specifically seemed to cultivate a pretty potent drinking culture that Tenna, personally, had found rather difficult to squeeze herself into. She couldn’t deny enjoying the occasional drink (and with the way she took them, they felt more like sweet treats than a taboo indulgence, anyway), but right here, right now, with all her burdens suspended like oil and water for just a fleeting moment, she felt at last like she understood.

As much as she could understand the weird, weird world she’d found herself residing over.

…but it had become routine. Just as intimidating, that would never go away, but familiar eventually. In some ways, she’d made it her own; shaped it in her image.

She could do the same here. It certainly wasn’t as intimidating.

She’d survive.

And that’s what it was about, wasn’t it? Enduring, surviving. In the horror of it all, the abandonment, the struggle, the inability to match the environment swallowing her- she’d survived despite it all.

In the end, how could she give up when she’d made it this far…?

…

And so, she’d survive.

She’d survive.

…

Even if she wanted to live.

On her fifty-second glass, Tenna took it cheerily from Swatch, who had stopped drinking themselves a while ago but still seemed a lot looser than usual regardless, leaning on the counter and listening to her Lady, engrossed in a story from eons ago about a wayward pippins.

“…and then, get THIS, the little freak told me that-”

Tenna froze.

Interrupted.

…

There was a sudden, loud clamour of- voices? Outside?

Her smile froze in place, servos locking, almost as if she were on pause. Swatch heard it too, of course (who couldn’t??)- leaning to peer beyond Tenna, stiffening, donning an expression of scrutinization. Tenna could barely discern any noise or voice from another, all mixed together in an inseparable, unfathomable concoction- and somewhere, in her core, something snapped.

Something was happening.

Something was happening.

Swatch adjusted their glasses, squinting. “What on earth is the-”

And Tenna stood then, screen going straight to colour bars. Antennae standing upright, so quick, she could feel the baubles knocking against one another.

She’d heard it.

She’d fucking heard it.

A single, panicked jazz note.

“It’s nothing,” she tried telling herself. “It could be anything, Tenna. You’re looking for something that’s not there. It CAN’T be there.”

But, as always, the foolish hope won out.

“…my Lady-?!”

But Tenna was already gone, moving on impulse, on instinct- a bad trait of hers, but one she’d learned to inherit in times like this. Her screen was dark, evidently, from the lack of light spilling onto the café’s dark walls as she stormed out, but she barely noticed. She wasn’t paying attention.

She was locked in to the sounds around her, the din that enclosed her. Enclosed her hope for renewal, and dug up her hope for the past.

Compromised both, all at once, leaving them vulnerable to shatter. Either way, she couldn’t win. It was a dangerous game with no happy ending- but, in a past life far, far away, she’d been a damn good gameshow host. And she was going to play, despite every component in her screaming the opposite, screaming to ignore it.

She shrunk down to fit through the café’s doors, crouching down before standing back up at the average size she’d adopted (not fully grown, of course- she was never at maximum height nowadays), peering desperately- madly- in front of her. A stray pippins hopped by, seeming not to notice her. That was fine. That meant nothing. There were pippins from Card Kingdom here, she’d discovered. It meant nothing.

They hopped towards the castle in the centre of Castle Town, where the commotion had seemed to migrate. Like an actor to the spotlight, a darkner to the lightners and the fulfilment they promised, Tenna gave chase- scarcely noticing the padding footsteps behind her of her head butler.

Voices became clearer here, but she could still barely make anything out besides a few fleeting words, deprived of context and gasping for air, as she crouched under the gateway to the courtyard.

“Do you really think…”

“…like she’s actually gonna…”

“…-ow the lightners are gonna f…”

Tenna squinted, still bending down, listening as the voices get further. Almost in some sort of trance. Stepping forward, towards the castle, towards…

She became vaguely aware then as she approached of a (slightly) out of breath Swatch, desperately clinging to their composure, but she could barely focus on that now.

It’s nothing.

It’s nothing.

…

It can’t be.

It can’t be nothing.

I have to see.

Warnings screamed in her monitor, echoing and bouncing through her chassis. Warnings based on past experiences; many, many past experiences- but right now, right now, she didn’t care.

Blame the drink, the vulnerability, the sudden change, the new beginnings- it was all getting to her head, and it was all forcing her to take the leap.

Tenna crouched into the castle, catching a glimpse of a shadow moving up the stairwell; blurs of reds and blues and whites and blacks. Her entire metal frame seemed to shake- and now she knew there was no going back.

“Just what is the meaning of-?!”

There’s a familiar voice amidst the smudge of it all, but as seemed consistent now, Tenna could barely focus on it, body acting almost on autopilot. Swatch got there first, catching their breath beside a confused (and, seemingly, irritated) Tasque Manager.

“I- I’m not entirely sure, but Lady Tenna- Lady Tenna-!!”

Already she was on the stairs, letting the flow of voices carry her gently upstream like a river. And immediately, her two heads were by her side, loyal, pointedly, and yet rattling off quick anxious questions as they ascended.

“Y-your Grace, just what has got you so-”

“Did something happen again?! Do you need us to-”

But Tenna found herself barely able to hear them at all, as she popped out at the very top of the stairs, on the third floor now. Consumed by her own head- and, she found quickly, proven right the very second she swivelled her monitor around to risk a glance down the hall.

In that moment, that very moment, Tenna could have sworn that whatever components lay inside her bulky, fragile chassis had ceased to function altogether. Voltage dropping to zero, current refusing to flow. Electrons stopping still through the space that swallowed her; either her shock (was it shock?) was contagious, or they were politely awaiting her to regain her bearings.

Tenna’s whole world went still- and Tenna’s whole world lay before her, bustling.

A blur of shadowguys, pippins, zappers, the works, all gathered around the small space down the hall next to Tenna’s personal room, gathered before the empty room that lay in waiting for someone new.

The logic behind it was obvious, in hindsight, maybe. It was just like Card Kingdom, just like CYBER WORLD. The lightners had visited, they’d sealed it, they’d brought the inhabitants here to their Castle Town.

But Tenna wasn’t logical now, and all she could do was stare with a charcoal-black screen, antennae rigid and upright as Swatch and Tasque Manager stared at her sides- perplexed, then understanding. Recognising. Knowing.

“…Oh.”

“Ah.”

“…”

Tenna didn’t move at all. Not even when she felt a hand on her arm, and then another weight near her shoulder, and then-

And then she saw them.

It didn’t take long for them to see her, either, from the looks of it.

It was almost as if they’d been plucked directly from her shoddy, hiding, hazy memories- same dull vibrance in their colours as she recalled, same warm shine in their clothes.

Flames burning bright, lapping the air like they were dancing, almost. Clouds soft like cotton, friendly, inviting. Though now, the flames seemed to almost grow heavier, brighter, hotter and harsher, and there was a distinct heavy grey marring the fluffy white.

Eyes, staring right at her, widened in recognition. Bodies halted, faces of panic dropped, nearly forgotten. Forgotten, as they met her gaze, and stared.

“…T…Tenna…?”

She barely had time to figure out which one of them had managed it. That’s when the blank door TV World (TV World, TV World, holy fuck, TV World) was gathered around swung open wide with a loud bang, and a new (yet distinctly, distinctly familiar) figure emerged. A rough, gravelly young voice tore through the thick and palpable tension in the air.

She said something, of course- she always could demand the attention of anyone in the room, and it was just one of the many things Tenna admired her for. Many, many things.

She was standing there now, strong and almost defiant as always, fully tense, and yet her strong jagged silhouette seemed to shake in a funny way that smashed Tenna’s electric heart to pieces. She was covered in… something; dark, nearly black with a sort of evergreen shimmer to it, almost like an oil slick. That alone would have been enough to launch her sensors into a panic, but it was that expression that really got to Tenna- yellow eyes wide and intense and worried; no, scared, sharpened teeth grinding hard into a grimace of panic. Her fists were tightly clenched. Her stance was unsure.

Susie looked so small in the doorframe- so deeply unable to take up space, and it made Tenna feel like tearing the entire castle apart.

In fact, she was so pre-occupied with it that she didn’t notice the flurry of other things occurring all around her, firing off in quick succession like command inputs upon a terminal. Somewhere along the way, Ralsei had appeared somewhere behind (next to? Was it mixed up?) Susie, scarf bunched up around his furry white face, wearing a near-identical expression (when it came to Ralsei, that almost seemed to make it worse, in a way). And then Tasque Manager’s voice had cut through; Swatch’s eventually following suit- they seemed loud, full of emotion Tenna couldn’t discern. Maybe didn’t want to discern.

Because, selfishly, she found herself unable to tear her eyes from the sea of frustratingly familiar faces. Unable to look away from the dice she more often than not caught slacking on the job around the studio, the remotes that had served as loyal members of her staff, the figures that had always provided a smooth, jazzy melody that punctuated the environment. Her world.

The moon and the cloud that had served as her closest advisors, her seconds in command, her friends.

…

Five years, and the memories still seemed crystal clear all of a sudden. Like Tenna was no longer peering through a thick and winding fog, and was now gazing into the shimmering blue waters of a lake.

Seeing herself reflected in the world she’d left behind. No, the world she’d been ejected from.

Swatch and Tasque Manager were no longer by her side; their voices still microphone feedback, background noise. Tasque Manager was loud. Demanding, full of conviction. And Swatch… well, Tenna knew they could get intense if something really, really got to them. She’d seen it once, and she hoped not to see it ever again.

Susie was no longer standing in the doorway. She and Ralsei had both moved further into the room. Tenna heard Susie’s panicked rambling, and at intervals, Ralsei’s soft, crackling pleading.

The feedback of her subordinates’ voices deafened to silence in an instant.

Tenna squeezed her fists tight.

She sprung back to life. Her gaze snapped at once to Elnina and Lanino- because what else could she do? She didn’t know what the hell was going on.

It felt to Tenna that it was happening all over again, because it was- the second a promise is given to her, the second a spark of hope lights up in her chassis, a hand reaches out through the aether and serves to snuff it right out. That’s just how it goes for her, doesn’t it?! It’s just routine, cycling her round and round, throwing her body through an endless feedback loop- orbiting her into oblivion, osmosing and assimilating right inside.

That’s just how dramatic irony works, and god, does the audience love it!

“…E-Elnina,” she managed to wheeze eventually. Her voice weak yet strong, moving waveringly upon a single track. Static crackling at the edges, fuzzing the crisp sound right to its very ends. “Lanino.”

Her screen had turned on. The light spilling all over the pair like a spotlight gave it away. She didn’t know when that had happened, nor did she care- all it seemed to do was make her acutely aware of her own face, and a wide, blocky grin split all over it, showing a little too many teeth.

Lanino spoke first. He swallowed thickly. “…Tenna. I-”

“…”

He trailed off. Tenna stood there, hunched over slightly, hands clasped politely (desperately) before her. Awaiting explanations she knew never came.

Hoping anyway, like an idiot.

“…what’s…”

She couldn’t… say anything. Nothing felt natural, nothing felt right. The whole world felt dizzying, the whole space absent. She felt her focus straying again. Her whole chassis seemed to creak with the weight of something unknown, playing out in front of her, like some old cheesy horror movie Asriel and Dess would play late at night when the adults weren’t looking.

But she was. She was there.

Part of that world, and now meeting it once more.

She remembered an educational tape she’d played once for Toriel’s biology class, early into her service in the library. It had described in charming infographics how the enzymes in a body functioned. How, when suffering a fever, a temperature higher than it could handle, an environment more intense than it was used to, the thing became denatured; and couldn’t fulfil its purpose in any meaningful way going forward.

Became useless.

Its shape changed. It melted and warped, its active zone mauled and marred beyond recognition. They’re designed to fit a certain substrate. Their shapes are specific. Exact. But once denatured, it couldn’t fit anything it used to anymore. Could only clumsily knock against the silhouette, and hope that maybe it could force its way back through into where it used to lie so perfectly. So neatly.

…

Had that happened to her, then? Had she really changed so irreversibly in those short few years, that she couldn’t even spark a conversation with her nearest and dearest confidants? Friends?

Had she become incapable of existing both places? Was she ever capable?

“Look, Tenna, we…” Elnina began suddenly, her voice almost hollow as it trembled uncontrollably. Tenna’s monitor snapped back to her. “We… it’s…”

“…we should probably… get in there. There’s…”

Tenna watched as they started to inch towards the doorway, and a sudden surge of panic pulsed through her current.

“Wait-!!”

A cartoonishly large hand reached for them. Her smile weakened and strained, and as her volume began to peak beyond levels she could control, that was when she found her voice. “C-Come on!! Old friends!! I… ha, HA HA, h-how many years has it been now?! C’mon!! Don’t you wanna-”

Jittering as she stood nearer, all around her Tenna could hear the clamour shift its focus, now squarely on her. She couldn’t decide if this relished or disgusted her.

“Wait a sec!! Isn’t dat…”

“The hell is he…”

“It’s really all happenin’ tonight-”

“(This is why I always say to bet on red, man.)”

No.

No, no, no, no no no no no NO.

This- this wasn’t right. Everything was wrong.

She’d given up on TV World!! She’d abandoned it, like it had abandoned her. She’d finally, finally learned to move on- and here it comes now, biting, gnashing, ready to haunt and consume her.

…she really COULDN’T win, could she?! What an idiot she was, to think she could ever have anything stay the same.

Ever have anything stay gone, or stay here.

TV just can’t be that simple, can it?! Could never be that simple. There’s always some big twist, some showstopping trick of the plot.

Nothing can be happy or mundane. It’s bad television.

Well, Tenna had never yearned for something to be so BORING before.

She fell to one knee, creeping up on her breaking point, hand shaking so violently it threatened to fall. And Elnina and Lanino, standing as a perfect pair, revoltingly awkward and unsure- watching Tenna like she was a bomb they didn’t know how to defuse, rather than their old boss (their old friend.)

“…l… Tenna…”

“We- we’ll catch up later…! We promise!! We all will!! W-we’ve all missed you dearly, we just…”

Footsteps clacking, ready to leave. Ready to abandon her to her disorientation once more, like every single time before.

“…we have something really important to deal with right now, so-”

And what?! What was it? What was so dire, so crucial, so extremely important that it had Susie in a state and her new heads dragged away from her and her old heads preparing to do the same and her whole entire home clamouring around and-

And…

And…!

And Tenna couldn’t take it anymore-!

“-!!”

As Elnina and Lanino turned to enter, Tenna came crashing down too, right after them. Her screen burning bright with anxiety, with confusion, with want- everything.

Everything.

And as she came in clumsily beneath the doorway, following the weather anchors; too consumed to notice her before it was too late, her monitor swivelled upwards, and her jaw unhinged. She felt her volume rise even further, somehow, and she felt her whole chassis shift with the weight of it-

…

And then stop.

Freeze.

Fall entirely still as she stared. If she had eyes, she could probably describe those as saucers; large, pale and wide, just like the indecipherable gazes of everyone else in the room.

But she couldn’t look at them now. Couldn’t look at any of them.

Past the weathers, Susie and Ralsei, and a fussing Swatch and Tasque Manager (she had never seen Swatch so worked up, so deeply intense and moving and full), and to the middle of the empty room, where that deep evergreen oil pooled and leaked and intervals.

No, her attention was finally, finally concentrated squarely on it.

On her.

(Because having it undivided in CYBER WORLD, a constant looming reminder, a hanging thunderstorm, just wasn’t enough, was it?)

…she looked different.

Not how Tenna remembered in very distant, very strangled memories. Not how she remembered her, lying there in long drunken nights with those words, that tone, that smile, that laugh.

Not how she saw her through CYBER WORLD, either- not the smug grinning face that popped up at every corner, gazing at her every inch like a surveillance system. Yellowed, peeling posters in alleyways, marble statues, elegant oil paintings Tasque Manager had described as being a “Firewall”, and countless other vessels for her visage- that abyssal screen, those blue lips, that azure cranium, from all angles, at all intervals. Looming behind like a shadow, watching over like a ghost.

Boasting a fragment of her soul she no longer deserved, not anymore, Tenna thought.

Haunting her, in each and every endeavour.

…Tenna was almost unsure she was looking at her now.

She took a step back. Booming, trembling, understanding and hating it.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Understanding, yet filled with so many questions- so many new questions that demanded a multitude of answers that were so much worse.

How was she…? What? What?? What?!

…

She was such an idiot. She should have listened.

Shouldn’t have followed. Should have stayed put.

But now, all she could do was stare and retreat. Stare as Swatch made quick, snipped, intense demands, as the small crowd around them obliged best as possible. Tasque Manager’s horrifying expression, Susie’s fusillade of questions, Ralsei’s quiet, shaking murmurs.

And her.

Her.

Her.

A wreck on the floor, a wreck Tenna could hardly discern- and frankly, did not want to.

She shouldn’t be here. Neither of them should.

And it was that thought, in different flavours, different languages, different channels, that coursed through her monitor over and over like reruns as she backed away. Backed away from Lanino and Elnina’s terrified expressions as they watched her. Backed away, backed away, backed away.

Maybe if she holed up in her room, she could forget this ever happened.

Shrunk down small and played her familiar old favourite shows in her head over and over, she could effectively get back up untainted by what she saw, without answers for questions she no longer had.

…For now, though, they burned, and any potential answer seemed to tremble with the acid she’d learned to associate with that azure figure, who now lay before her, unrecognisable.

And burned,

And burned,

And burned.

«Well Then I Suppose It Is Time For Us To Exit»

She flicked her wrist upwards towards the ebony-black sky, held in sharp contrast with the shimmering fake snow that littered the area for miles around. She would never admit it (and she could get away with it, of course, owning to the fact that it was a remnant of a set he had built all those years ago), but it did provide her some… solace, in its own right. A rare novelty, in the chaos of TV World, she’d learned- a private place nobody else could get to but her, a place of quiet, of calm.

…Amongst other things. Bittersweet reminders of times long past. But Queen did not do bittersweet, and she didn’t mourn anything she could no longer have- not when she was her, and could have anything she ever wanted.

With the motion, the dark plane above lit up pale green with the presentation she had devised in her time with the lightners. «Running Program… Tender Goodbye.EXE»

She could launch into the speech easily. She was perfect regardless, of course, but her time here had certainly given her a greater aptitude for the theatrics. The whole thing: merely an experience to further sharpen and hone her abilities for optimised results.

And now, it wouldn’t matter. She was going away- going home, in a sense, at long last. This place would soon be little more than an amusing anecdote, and for what felt like the first time in so, so long, she felt herself again- felt wonderfully alive.

«I Will Miss Each Of You»
«Susie, Your Foolish Bravery And Refreshing Kindness»
«Kris, Your Chill Vibes»

«…»

«Hey Wait Was There A Third Guy???»

The third guy in question (seems the answer was yes, then) stifled a laugh. “It doesn’t have to be goodbye, Queen! You’ll still see us around Castle Town!”

«…Oh»

…could they not have told her that before she devised a whole damn presentation for it??

«Deleting Tender Goodbye.EXE»

A shame, really, but it wasn’t as if semantics and fancy goodbyes mattered to Queen now. In a way, the sooner this was over, and the sooner the fountain was sealed, the better.

Susie made a face then.

“Can you give back Toriel now??”

«Oh Yeah Lol»

She’d almost forgotten her end of the bargain in all the chaos- that was, her new bargain with the lightners.

…

She’d never wanted to take Toriel, anyways. It was only a necessity spawned out of her deal. A deal she, frankly, didn’t have much choice in.

Call her selfish- you would be wrong. Anyone would bend to the Knight’s will in her position. When it promised what she was promised, after waiting for so, so long.

…and even if she still didn’t understand how Kris fit into any of that…

…it didn’t matter. It had hit her suddenly, and it had hit her absolutely. None of it mattered anymore.

She was going to the Lightners’ “Castle Town”. She was going to bring TV World with her. She’d have the best of both worlds, quite literally.

It was everything she’d ever wanted, everything she could want- everything she deserved.

Even if her plans hadn’t worked out the way she wanted… she had time to refine them, perfect them.

…reflect on what Susie said.

…maybe… maybe she wasn’t… perfect. Maybe it was possible for her to miscalculate.

…she didn’t understand. Not entirely. But for this new future, for everyone’s happiness…

For… Noelle’s happiness, eventually…

…she’d try. She’d get it, eventually. That’s what she was good at, after all.

…

…and so, despite everything, things just could not help but look up. Exactly as she wanted.

«Ladies Gentlemen And Weird Freaks Alike»
«Won’t You Please Give It Up For The Lightners Who Have Won The: Grand Prize»

Lowering Toriel in her gacha ball from the top of the tree, Queen runs through her systems and releases the mechanism keeping it closed, sending it away and freeing her entirely. Not that it mattered, really- she was still fast asleep on her throne, but there wasn’t much Queen could do about that. The lightners didn’t seem to care if she was awake, anyways.

…

She really hadn’t wanted to take her.

…and, she’d admit then, there was a small… relief in letting her go. Letting all of it go.

«…And With That»
«Comes The End Of Our: Final Episode»
«Many Thanks For The Wonderful Memories We’ve Made Etc. Etc.»

«…But Now»

And just as her final speech was coming to a close, just as the credits threatened to roll for the last time, signpost the end of this strange and deeply weird chapter of her life, just for the hell of it, she threw her arms up in the air.

…man, she really had gained a love for dramatism. She wondered if Swatch, or Tasque Manager, or any of her subjects would notice once she was back ruling over them.

«Now»

«We Can All Finally-»

Something shattered.

Something split.

For a moment, it almost seemed she was seeing pieces- fragments in her vision, woven glass tapestries of something occurring now, something occurring right in this moment.

The whole world seemed to go still and quiet. But she could still hear a distinct ringing in her head- high and sonorous, bouncing through her complex of circuitry like a stray pinball.

…

And then came the error reports.

And then came the sensation.

Queen froze up entirely, but internally, sensors scrambled and screamed to process something that had began to well up by her sides. She felt lighter, but then something heavy seemed to spiral through her, ringing loud and high and stinging like the buzzing rattling her cranium.

She caught a glimpse of the lightners- they seemed to fuzz into blurs; smudges on the canvas-white of the set. Their expressions seemed to contort, but it had to be a miscalibration. A mistake on her end.

Rare, but possible, possible, as she had began to learn.

She wanted to scream.

Why did she want to scream?!

Something jolted, something zapped. A shudder ran through her body, and it was all set in stone in a matter of seconds. She saw shapes move away from her, but she couldn’t possibly make them out- not when a piercing bright blue suddenly swallowed her optics, and she felt her body begin to sway and fall backwards, further down through the snow.

Queen didn’t know where the set ended. It almost seemed as vast as the city she’d been cruelly snatched from; just snow and snow for miles and miles. She didn’t know where she’d end up, how far she could fall.

But somehow, she found herself unable to mind the thought. Caught in a net, some thick haze enveloping her, as she fell, and fell, and fell. The sensation calmed, but did not weaken. It simply relaxed into a dull, constant, stinging throb instead, and regularly fluctuated its intensity. It soon wormed its way right through to her processors, and made itself routine. Queen couldn’t mind. Queen could barely… think, she found, all of a sudden.

Someone called her name. That gruff gravelly voice she’d grown attached to throughout the runtime of her show, this little adventure she’d become wrapped up in. It seemed distant, though; far further than it had been mere moments ago. And Queen couldn’t catch it.

Queen didn’t want to catch it.

She…

…she just wanted to fall, and sink, forever.

…no.

…wait.

No. She couldn’t. What the hell was she doing?

Queen did not give up. She did not stop or still, waver or fluctuate.

She did not cease. She did not fall.

She bounced back from every problem. Provided flawless solutions for every query.

Somewhere, Susie’s words battled the notion, but they seemed less like words and more like scribbles in the back of her cranium, and so, Queen barely paid them any mind.

She endured every bump in the road with grace, excellency, a mere flick of her finger.

Cool, composed and flawless.

She handled losing CYBER WORLD in this way. She handled being stranded in this way. She handled being abandoned, being left behind, in this way.

She simply took the reigns of TV World for herself, because nobody doubted her- her strong presence, her unstoppable nature.

She could get up. She could wipe this from her sleeve.

…even if she

really didn’t want to

all of a sudden

Am I Dying?

Of course not. She… couldn’t be.

…

Seconds seemed to turn to hours. Hours seemed to stretch into seconds.

It was cold.

I Don’t Want To Die

…it was a mantra. Dull, throbbing, in the back of her cranium. As her components underwent a sort of graceful degradation, and her processors kept trying to force a shutdown, to protect itself.

Queen knew. Queen knew if she did that, somewhere, in the back of her mind, she would let herself go.

And she would not give up.

So, it became grounding.

I Don’t Want To Die

I’m Not Going To

I Don’t Want To

It was cold.

Eventually, distantly, something happened. The blue engulfing her, ensnaring her as she tried desperately to fight through the damage (it had to be damage, but she barely wanted to acknowledge it, barely could acknowledge it) seemed to waver, and something seemed to make its way through.

Something touched her. Certainly warmer than the frozen wasteland all around.

She made a noise. A groan, caught in her voice modulator, as familiar voices made their way through to her. Through the haze, the sensations surrounding her, she could recognise something, and she found herself able to grasp and cling to it, waiting for it to pull her out of the abyss.

And in the moment, something flashed within her. Something alien. Panic, perhaps? She didn’t know, she didn’t know.

There was a light. Of course it drew her in.

How could she deny its call, its allure?

…

For a brief moment, she found herself wanting to stay. Just a moment longer, letting the snow hold her close.

Letting it remind her of somewhere far, far, far away. A very long time ago.

Something was broken with her, then, huh?

…that was… okay.

She could fix it. She would fix it.

In the end, as voices rang out around her, and hands held her gentle and steady, she let herself be reeled in at last; following that light she could feel shining through the agony and dark that had her caught right in its maw.

Whatever was happening to her did not matter anymore, she found.

Something new was happening right now.

And as per usual, Queen found herself fully unable to invest herself in something beyond the pull of the light.

And that made it all okay, as always.

As always.