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Seungmin skipped all of his classes on Tuesday too, but both the anxiety and buzzing from missing those classes plus the sheer fear that missing his test on Wednesday finally convinced him to leave and go to class. It wasn’t like he could avoid his problems forever– trust that he tried though.
After Jeongin had found Seungmin on the floor Monday and helped him through his panic attack, he had brought him back to his dorm to hide out there. It wasn’t like Seungmin was avoiding Felix as well per se… it was just that now that Felix (and the rest of their friend group) knew that something was definitely up with Seungmin, the whole plan of ‘feigning normality and acting like nothing was wrong’ wasn’t exactly an option anymore, and Felix was one of the most annoyingly caring people Seungmin knew– there wasn’t a chance that Felix wasn’t going to try and coddle or help Seungmin, which wasn’t what he wanted.
He didn’t want to be coddled or cared for or treated gently– seeing as the last time he was, it didn’t really end in his favor– he wanted it to go back to normal! He wanted to be fake-dating Changbin with no feelings involved, no strings attached. He wanted to hang out with Jeongin and Felix. He wanted to laugh and make fun of Jisung and Hyunjin. He wanted to talk and listen to Chan and Minho– whom he had gotten annoyingly attached to. He wanted it to be exactly as it was a week (or, hell, even four days ago) before he found out that he had been right all along: he was taking advantage of Changbin’s kindness.
If anything, Seungmin should be thankful that 1) Changbin had finally built up the nerve to call it off with Seungmin and 2) that Seungmin had overheard the plan beforehand so he wouldn’t have been surprised and completely caught off guard when Changbin finally did.
Would this completely destroy Seungmin? No. He had enough faith in himself and stubbornness/ spite aimed towards the world that he knew he’d survive this “breakup.” It would hurt like a bitch, don’t get him wrong, but…
There was a possibility of recovery.
Seungmin wanted to be a lawyer; he knew how to look at issues from every angle. He knew how to look for loopholes and how to use them, and after consideration, he assembled the facts: Changbin didn’t know Seungmin had overheard him and Changbin was too nice of a person to abandon Seungmin completely just because he caught feelings– he would at least have to stay semi-amicable since they were in the same friend group.
Seungmin could still keep Changbin in his life. Maybe not like how he wanted, but how he originally thought he’d have to: as a friend that he used to fake-date. He just had to pretend like everything was normal again. He could do that.
He could go back and pretend that everything was fine. Jeongin had already texted the others that Seungmin was sick– like sick-sick and wouldn’t be doing more than sleeping until he recovered– so that Seungmin hadn’t worried too badly about forcing himself to respond to their concerned ‘get well’ texts.
He still hadn’t answered them actually. He was waiting until his chest didn’t feel like it was going to burst every time he took a breath.
He barely made it through his test. It felt like he was on the edge of a panic attack the entire hour and a half he was taking it. He only managed to take a deep breath properly once he stepped outside with all the other students once it was done, and even then, it didn’t feel like it gave him any oxygen.
What was worse: Changbin wasn’t there.
It made sense, Seungmin understood that. Changbin thought that Seungmin was still sick, seeing as Seungmin hadn’t texted anyone that he had ‘gotten better,’ so obviously, Changbin wouldn’t have been there to pick him up and walk him to the next class.
However, that was a part of Seungmin’s routine now. He hadn’t even realized how integrated Changbin had become in Seungmin’s everyday life until suddenly he wasn’t.
Part of Seungmin was happy, relieved. He didn’t have to come face to face with the boy he liked that didn’t like him back, not that soon anyway. He didn’t think he had it in him yet to see Changbin, to see the boy that had unintentionally hurt Seungmin so much.
But a bigger part of Seungmin felt Changbin’s absence like a pit in his stomach.
He.
Wasn’t.
There.
It’s okay. It was okay. Seungmin was fine. It was all fine.
Seungmin had a routine before Changbin. He could go back to ‘normal.’ He could do it.
Seungmin’s chest tightened.
Nope.
He couldn’t do this.
Seungmin sped out of the building, hoping that maybe the fresh air would maybe help put off the upcoming panic attack, but being more out in the open only made his breathing harsher and more shallow.
He couldn’t breathe.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He couldn’t breathe.
Tears formed in Seungmin’s eyes, and he absolutely did not want to start crying in the middle of campus for everyone to see, especially over something as simple as a small change in a relatively new routine.
Seungmin had to get out of there.
But he couldn’t move.
His breaths were hastening and his chest was tightening and his vision blurred with tears, but he couldn’t move.
“Seungmin,” Someone grabbed Seungmin’s hands gently and pulled him away to the side of the building, sitting him down on a bench and sitting next to him. “Hey, it’s okay. You know you’re fine, yeah? Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, okay? Do it with me.”
Seungmin didn’t know who was beside him, only that the voice was familiar, but he mirrored their breathing.
“Good, now answer some questions, can you?” The person said. “When’s your next class?”
“At eleven.” Seungmin forced through his teeth.
“Okay, you still have twenty minutes. That’s more than enough time to get there early. You’re weird about that kind of thing, right?”
‘You’re weird about that kind of thing, right?’
Seungmin recognized that voice and turn of phrase. His eyes shot up, and sure enough, he saw him.
“Hajoon?” Seungmin frowned in confusion. “What are you-”
“You were having a panic attack on the stairs leading up to your building,” Hajoon explained. “I saw you and brought you away to try and help. I know… I know I wasn’t a good boyfriend by any means and you have a new one and you don’t want me near you– you’ve made that abundantly clear– but I couldn’t just leave you there.”
“No, no. Thank you.” Seungmin shook his head. “And Changbin isn’t my- thank you, Hajoon. I need to get to my next class though.”
Seungmin stood up, but a hand on his wrist pulled him back down again, not harshly.
“Seungmin, you just had a panic attack, you should sit down for a bit.”
Seungmin wanted to fight back, to argue that he was fine, but he knew that he wasn’t. He still had time to get to class early, so he sat back down.
“Does your chest hurt?”
Seungmin’s brow furrowed, “What?”
“You keep rubbing it.”
Seungmin looked down and saw that Hajoon was right. He hadn’t even realized– he could hardly feel his body with the strength of the buzzing. Seungmin shook out his hands– as if that could make it better.
“It’s fine.”
“Oh, is your OCD bothering you?” Hajoon asked, making ‘OCD’ sound the same as a skeptic would say ‘vampire.’ Hajoon had never really believed that Seungmin had OCD since he didn’t believe in OCD. Whenever Seungmin would use it as an excuse or reason behind his behavior or needs, Hajoon would scoff and complain that Seungmin was making up stuff.
“Hajoon,” Seungmin sighed, already exhausted with the way this conversation was going to go. It had happened similarly a million times before. Seungmin rolled his eyes and made to stand up again, but Hajoon grabbed his arm again, pulling him back down and not letting go this time.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Hajoon said. “I didn’t mean to offend you; I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”
“I’m fine,” Seungmin said. “Now, if you don’t mind, I should probably get to class. I don’t want to be late.”
“You’ll be fifteen minutes early if you go now, Seungmin. That’s too early, even for you; calm down. I think we should talk.”
Seungmin rolled his eyes, “About what?”
“About us.”
“There isn't an ‘us’ anymore, Hajoon.”
A muscle in Hajoon’s jaw tensed. “I know that. You have your- whatever with that other guy-”
Seungmin wanted to correct him. He wanted to correct him so badly. He wanted to say that what he had with Changbin wasn’t ‘whatever,’ that they were dating. He wanted to say that Changbin was his boyfriend. He wanted to lie so badly– it was what they had started the entire fake relationship for in the first place– but Seungmin was so tired of lying, and he didn’t think he could get the words past his lips even if he tried.
Plus, his breathing still hadn’t fully calmed down, and his head still felt a little light and dizzy.
“-but we were still friends before we dated, right?”
Not really. At least, Seungmin didn’t consider him a friend before they started dating. In all honesty, they had three conversations before Hajoon was asking Seungmin on a date. That wasn’t really ‘friendship’ level for Seungmin.
“We can be civil now, can’t we?” Hajoon’s hand travelled up Seungmin’s arm until it was on his other shoulder, leaving an uncomfortable tingling feeling wherever he touched, and yet… Seungmin didn’t move. It didn’t feel right to. Hajoon had just helped Seungmin out, talking him through a panic attack, and he had been relatively kind so far… maybe Seungmin could allow him this?
But then Seungmin smelt Hajoon’s breath.
Peach.
Deja vu crashed into him so strong it felt like it could physically knock him over. Memories of such similar situations happening while they were dating: Hajoon doing something kind or considerate or sweet and then Seungmin feeling like he owed him something he wanted, to maybe make Hajoon do it again.
Hajoon bought Seungmin a coffee? Seungmin owed him a dinner.
Hajoon went home early because Seungmin didn’t want to be at the date or dinner or party anymore? Seungmin owed him something else worth his time, usually himself.
Hajoon didn’t make Seungmin go to the party he wanted to go to? Seungmin had to make it up for him when he got back.
There were more situations like that, smaller ones, but still. Their entire relationship was like a game of push and pull, of Seungmin drawing a line and Hajoon crossing it somewhere else.
And Seungmin used to think that that was how relationships were: compromises. Sure, Seungmin didn’t want to have sex half as much as Hajoon did. Sure, Seungmin didn’t like public affection. Sure, Seungmin didn’t like terms of endearment or skinship or pda. But, he also had a lot of weird, really annoying things he did like, and if Hajoon was going to be so kind as to accept those and semi-respect those then Seungmin could compromise on the other things.
Except, that wasn’t how all relationships were, not how they had to be.
Changbin loved skinship but he never forced Seungmin to do it or even accept it, and if Seungmin even looked slightly uncomfortable with it, he’d back off. Changbin wanted to pay for Seungmin’s coffee and dinner and their dates, but he never held it over Seungmin. He never made it seem like it was something Seungmin was required to pay him back for. In fact, Seungmin had to fight just to be able to do the same for Changbin.
When Changbin had crossed Seungmin’s boundaries drunk, he immediately apologized once he was sober again, without Seungmin having to say anything, simply because he didn’t want to make Seungmin uncomfortable.
Changbin had gone out of his way to care for Seungmin and not expect a damn thing in return.
Yes, relationships were two-sided and full of compromise– Seungmin made sure to try to make their relationship equally beneficial–, but not the kind that Seungmin was constantly forced to endure with Hajoon.
Seungmin had known that Hajoon was a bad boyfriend while dating him (you should never date someone that you struggle to defend to your friends), but he hadn’t really realized how bad he really was until someone had shown him better and had promised him that it was the bare minimum.
Seungmin didn’t owe Hajoon shit.
“No,” Seungmin pushed Hajoon away and stood up. His chest still felt tight and his vision was still blurry and his breaths were still shallow and his hands were still shaking, but he didn’t care. “Hajoon, we’re done, and I don’t want you in my life anymore. Friends or civil or not. Leave me alone or I will actually report you to the police, scholarship be damned. Fuck off, Hajoon.”
Hajoon huffed out a breath, and the vein in his forehead popped out. Seungmin knew that sign better than anything and didn’t hesitate to start running away.
He had barely made it to the front of the building when he full-body ran into someone, their arms instinctively going around him to catch him.
“Oh, shit.” Seungmin stepped out of their hold and bowed quickly. “I’m so sorry. I-”
Seungmin’s words got stuck in his throat.
“Min! What-” Changbin’s smile vanished and his eyes quickly turned concerned as they jumped over his face. “Whoa, baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
‘Baby.’
Nope, nevermind. Seungmin couldn’t do this. Seungmin couldn’t do this at all. Fuck.
Because even though just the sight of Changbin’s face was enough to make Seungmin’s chest fracture, his touch where he was running his hands up and down Seungmin’s arms still managed to push away all buzzing. Even when just seeing him hurt Seungmin, his body couldn’t seem to reject him.
“What’s going on?” Changbin asked.
Nope, yeah, nope. Seungmin couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong.
He ran.
“Seungmin!?” Changbin called after him, but Seungmin couldn’t stop.
He didn’t even try to go to Jeongin’s dorm– he didn’t even think about it– instead running straight to his own, praying that he somehow lost Changbin along the way.
Seungmin slammed the door behind him, pressing his back against the wood.
“Seungmin?”
Felix looked up from where he sat on his bed, his eyes going wide with concern. He took one look at Seungmin’s face and jumped up from the bed, immediately gathering Seungmin into his arms. Seungmin went limp, letting himself be cradled as he wept.
There was too much. Too much in Seungmin’s head. Too much going on. Just too much.
Seungmin hated crying. He hated it so much, but he had already cried so much in the past seventy-two hours, what was some more?
He let himself be hugged by Felix, whose low voice murmured reassurances in his ears, until someone (guess fucking who) knocked on the door.
“Seungmin? Please, are you okay?”
Felix looked up, glancing at Seungmin in confused concern.
“Binnie-hyung?”
“Felix? Please, is Min in there? Is he okay?”
Felix frowned, studying Seungmin.
“Yeah, he’s in here.” Felix called, his eyes not leaving Seungmin.
“Is he okay?” Changbin’s voice sounded pressed, desperate.
Felix raised his eyebrows at Seungmin, almost like he was asking Seungmin, but Seungmin didn’t have an answer for him so he just squeezed his eyes shut, almost like he was just trying to block it all out.
“I think you should ask him yourself,” Felix said, and Seungmin felt Felix’s arms leave him. Seungmin’s eyes shot open and he clinged to Felix desperately, shaking his head. Felix’s voice turned soft. “I don’t know what’s going on, Min, but whatever it is, I think you and Binnie just need to talk.”
“Lix, I can’t.” Seungmin whispered.
“Min.” Felix stood up, pulling Seungmin up with him (when had they gotten to the floor?). “I think you guys need to talk. I’m sorry.”
And with that, Felix opened the door, and with an almost reassuring nod, he slid past the older boy.
Seungmin couldn’t look at him. He just couldn’t and kept his eyes firm on the ground. He heard it as the door closed– no doubt with Changbin in the room now.
“Min,” Changbin said oh so softly. “Baby, wha-”
“Don’t call me that.”
Changbin paused for a moment. “What?”
“Don’t call me that.” Seungmin repeated.
“Why not? I thought you-” Seungmin just shook his head. “Min, please, tell me what’s going on? Why are you crying? Why are you avoiding me? What did I do?”
His voice was so pleading, and Seungmin couldn’t handle it, tears falling down his cheeks.
“You didn’t do anything.” Seungmin said. “I’m sorry.”
“Then, what’s going on!” Changbin pleaded. “Please, b- Min. I’m so lost right now. I don’t understand!”
Seungmin swallowed. It was all going to end anyway? What’s the fucking point?
“I heard you and Jinnie Sunday morning.”
“...oh.”
Seungmin nodded.
Now Changbin knew. Seungmin liked him for real, Changbin figured it out, and now he knew for sure. Now, Changbin was going to leave Seungmin, and Seungmin was going to have to figure out how to live without the boy who had so easily filled the hole in his life he hadn’t even known was there.
“I’m sorry.” Changbin said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
Hold on, what?
Seungmin’s eyes shot up. Changbin was very sheepishly avoiding eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he was nervous or apologetic.
“I thought that maybe you liked me back, but if I read it wrong and you-”
“Wait, what?”
Changbin looked up then as well, brow furrowed. “What?”
“You like me?”
Changbin blinked, “Are you serious, Seungmin? I’m in love with you.”
Seungmin’s mouth fell open while his entire grasp of reality fell apart.
Changbin liked him. Changbin liked him back. Changbin was apparently in love with him.
“But-” Seungmin faltered, unable to string two thoughts together, much less a sentence. “You wanted to- why?”
“Why?” Changbin parroted.
“Why- how could you possibly love me?”
“Seungmin-” Changbin gaped. “How could I not?”
Seungmin shook his head. “No, no. I-”
“Min, I understand you not liking me back, but you can’t convince me that you don’t understand how I could possibly be head over heels for you. I’ve made it so obvious!”
“But I give you nothing!” Seungmin exclaimed. “There’s no possible, reasonable explanation for why you would want to be with me!? What could I have to offer you?”
“What more could I want from you than you!?” Changbin rebutted, looking absolutely appalled at how the conversation had turned. “Seungmin, I have liked you as more than a friend since our first date together, and I have been over my head in love with you since you changed our noraebang date to a stay-in movie just because you heard that I was a little tired even though changing plans stresses you out to no end.”
“But-”
“And even then, you are one of the most genuine, loyal, smartest people I know.” Changbin continued, not stopping. “You don’t want your friends to know how much you care about them, but you have never once stopped giving them your time, care, or energy, somehow managing to give them your time on top of being a student athlete and law student! You make sure that everyone feels included and cared for. You don’t care for art museums, but you never fail to go them with Hyunjin just so he doesn’t have to go alone. You hate parties, but will go if Felix begs and stay up if you don’t just so you can make sure he’ll get back alright. Jisung’s told me that you’ve worn nail polish to classes before because a professor said something homophobic to him about his and how you researched how to help someone through anxiety attacks as soon as he told you he experienced them. And don’t even get me started on the way I see you care for Jeongin.
“If that wasn’t enough– the way I’ve watched you care for your friends, then think about all the ways you take care of me.” Changbin had taken a step forward, and suddenly, they were standing right in front of each other. “You bring me coffee when I’ve spent hours in the studio, you buy my favorite foods in the cafeteria just to share with me, you listened to my entire soundcloud account because you wanted to get to know my art better (don’t even try to deny it; Felix told me), you hold my hand even when you don’t feel like skinship… I could go on.”
“I-”
“Do you know why I said ‘no’ to fake-dating you originally?” Changbin asked. Seungmin shook his head. “Because I knew from our first actual conversation together in the cafe that I was going to fall for you. There was no question in my mind. Hell, I immediately had a surface-level crush on you from the ten minutes I had with you at that first party, only to find out that you were the Kim Seungmin my best friends could never shut up about? I stood no chance.”
“But, I’m so needy and annoying and-”
“You are neither of those things, and if you were, I'd just add them to the long list of things I love about you.” Changbin said, grabbing Seungmin’s hands. Seungmin hated how even then, the buzzing disappeared where his skin touched Changbin’s. “I understand you not liking me back, but I absolutely refuse to let you go on not understanding how I could.”
More tears fell down Seungmin’s face. “I do though.”
Changbin’s brow furrowed.
“I do like you back.” Seungmin sniffled. “I’m in fucking love with you too.” Changbin’s face fell slack in what Seungmin would call awe, but he couldn’t look at it without his chest growing tight so he looked down at their hands instead. “I just don’t understand.”
“Don’t understand what?” Changbin asked, slightly tugging on their joint hands. Seungmin just shook his head. “Wait, Min, why did you run away then? If you knew that I liked you-”
“I didn’t know.” Seungmin murmured. “I only heard that you wanted to end the contract. I thought it was because you realized I liked you after the party and didn’t want to fake-date me when the feelings weren’t fake on my end.”
“No, Seungmin, I would never.” Changbin said. “Even if you had feelings for me and I didn’t feel the same, I wouldn’t do that to you, I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.”
Seungmin couldn’t help it; he started to cry again.
“No, no, baby,” Changbin dropped Seungmin’s hands and cupped his face, thumbing away the tears that were falling. “What’s the matter? Why are you still crying? Baby.”
“I just-” Fuck, that was embarrassing. Changbin had literally listed all that he liked about Seungmin, and Seungmin still couldn’t fucking believe him? What did he want? For Changbin to keep listing things? How fucking greedy was he? “Are you sure?”
Changbin’s brow furrowed. “Sure about what?”
Seungmin frowned. “Me?”
Changbin’s responding smile was one of the softest and most genuine smiles Seungmin had ever seen from the other. “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”
Seungmin scoffed out a laugh, unable to even stop it, which in turn made Changbin laugh, which in turn made Seungmin laugh for real, pressing his face into Changbin’s shoulder to hide his smile. Changbin just wrapped his arms around him, hugging and trapping him there.
“How about this?” Changbin hummed, swaying the two of them playfully. “We date for real?”
Seungmin pulled away to look at Changbin’s face. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Changbin smiled. “But, I swear to fuck, if I have to sign a stupid google do- mm!”
Seungmin cut him off with a kiss. Changbin responded immediately, pulling him closer by the waist.
“I love you so much, Kim Seungmin.” Changbin whispered against his lips, one hand cupping Seungmin’s jaw and one splayed out on his lower back. “I know you don’t believe it, but that just means that I get to tell it to you every day until you believe me.”
“Shut up, pabo.” Seungmin said, trying to kiss him again, but Changbin’s thumb blocked his lips.
“Do you hear me, baby?” Changbin asked. “You are not a bother or a burden or annoying. I fucking love you, and I’ll make you believe me, okay?”
Seungmin frowned, unable to word exactly how much he felt for the boy in his arms at that moment.
Changbin was everything. He was kind. He was sweet. He was funny and caring and too loud and fun and generous and everything that Seungmin never thought he’d have in a friend, much less a partner. Seungmin might not believe that he was worthy or deserving of Changbin, but he knew that if the elder was determined to prove him otherwise, he might eventually get there.
“Pabo,” Seungmin said, kissing Changbin’s thumb. “I love you too.”
Changbin beamed, and they kissed again.
“This is embarrassing.” Seungmin whined, but he didn’t put up much more of a fight than that as Changbin pulled him through the cafeteria by his hand. He was swallowed in the hoodie Changbin had been wearing earlier, but he looked completely fine other than the slight dark circles under his eyes, no evidence of crying left.
“It’s not embarrassing.” Changbin reassured him, squeezing his hand.
“I hid from all of our friends for three days because I thought you would dump me even though we weren’t in a real relationship.”
“Well,” Changbin blinked. “Let’s be real, Jinnie and Sung have probably done worse.”
Seungmin shrugged just as their friends all saw them from their lunch table, immediately calling for them.
“Seungmo!” Jisung grinned. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve ever missed a single class since I’ve known you.” Hyunjin added, looking both concerned and relieved.
“I’m fine now.” Seungmin said, sitting down next to Jeongin, who nudged him playfully with his elbow– his own version of comforting.
“Want me to get you a tray?” Changbin asked, still standing. Seungmin visibly fought with himself before nodding. Changbin smiled and kissed his hair before walking to go get their food. He got two trays, making sure none of the food touched, and returned to Jisung and Hyunjin jokingly arguing about something. He sat down and leaned over to Seungmin. “Did you tell them yet?”
“Tell us what?” Felix asked.
“No,” Seungmin said, ignoring his roommate. “You said that you want to do it together. Besides, I’m scared that I’m just going to give Jisung money.”
“Tell us what?” Felix repeated, grabbing Minho and Chan’s opinion.
“What do you mean?” Changbin asked.
“Tell us what?”
“Well, you know how we all bet on Minho and Jisung.” Seungmin shrugged. “You think they didn’t do the same for us?”
Felix gasped, finally getting the attention of everyone at the table. Seungmin smirked, and Changbin narrowed his eyes at him.
“Sneaky puppy.”
Seungmin’s smirk just grew more smug.
Felix gasped again, slapping Hyunjin’s shoulder until the taller boy groaned in complaint.
“Lix, what-”
“Are you two dating for real now!?” Felix squealed. The rest of the table’s eyes focused on the pair.
“Depends.” Seungmin tilted his head to the side. “Who would get money if we did?”
Jeongin pulled out his phone, “Me and Jisung.”
Seungmin and Changbin looked at each other, and Seungmin shook his head.
“Then, no. We’re not dating.” Seungmin said. Changbin giggled, so fond of the boy beside him, and pressed his face into his boyfriend’s shoulder.
“Oh my god, you’re dating!” Hyunjin exclaimed, the rest of the table bursting into noise.
“Who asked out who?” Jisung asked, looking over Jeongin’s shoulder to read from his phone.
“Why, who bet on who?”
Jisung pouted, “You’re just going to change the story, so I don’t get any money.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Jeongin said, narrowing his eyes and grinning at the two boys. “It was Changbin.”
“How do you know?”
“Seungmin hates himself too much.”
Seungmin flipped him off as Felix leaned forward in his seat, “Was it Changbin though?”
Changbin nodded, and Chan, Jeongin, and Jisung cheered.
“Your faith in me is too low.” Seungmin said, frowning at his best friend.
Jeongin just shrugged, “I like to call it ‘realistic expectations.’”
“In his defense, he was right in the end.” Hyunjin pouted, slumping into his seat. “Last time I ever bet on Seungmin being open about his feelings.”
“Shitty therapist.” Seungmin clicked his tongue.
Hyunjin stuck his tongue out, “Roommate fucker.”
“Right back at you.”
“I was really praying on Seungmin.” Felix said, dejected. “He seemed so close to figuring it all out.”
“Yeah, but Changbin had figured it out.” Chan said, pointing with his chopsticks. “He was writing love songs after just their first date.”
“Hyung!” Changbin whined.
Seungmin turned to him, eyes wide. “Really? Can I read them?”
“Absolutely not. They’re embarrassing.”
Seungmin pouted.
“He compares your eyes to storms.” Chan added unhelpfully.
“Oh my god, shut up!”
The rest of the group laughed, thankfully moving on in conversation (maybe. They very well could still be discussing Seungmin and Changbin’s obliviousness, but Changbin wasn’t listening anymore. His attention was solely on Seungmin). Seungmin leaned closer.
“You wrote love songs about me?”
“Of course I did.” Changbin replied, soft now that the rest of their friends weren’t listening. “You’re the most perfect muse I could ever ask for. Add that to the list of things I love about you.”
Seungmin smiled, hiding it by turning his head for a moment. “Will I ever get to hear them?”
“Maybe.” Changbin shrugged. “Only if you’ll sing them though.”
“I’ll think about it.” Seungmin said, cheeky.
Changbin smiled, watching the lightning strike in Seungmin’s eyes, not because of competition but because he was happy. He leaned in with a hand on Seungmin’s nape and kissed him softly, feeling the other boy’s smile against his lips.
“I love you, pabo.” Seungmin whispered, quiet enough so their friends didn’t hear.
“I love you too, puppy.”