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It’s been two years.
Two long years since Suho woke up from his coma. Two years since he realized his world, his life—Sieun—had moved on without him.
He feels stupid for feeling the way he does, especially with how Sieun has gone out of his way to help him feel included. He practically slept in Suho’s hospital room with how often he was there during his recovery, and he had been texting him updates the entire time he was asleep. Suho can scroll back through their message log and see everything Sieun was thinking, feeling, and going through without him. It both warms and breaks his heart.
After Suho was discharged, Sieun came to the restaurant every day after school. He sat at the table closest to where Suho restocks the drinks and stared, with such an intensity that it would scare Suho if he didn’t know Sieun so well. Sieun would never admit it out loud, but he worried. He worries about Suho all the time, and it took Suho a stupidly long time to realize that. Suho can see it in his eyes, the fear in between the lines; he’s terrified that something will happen to him again, that he’ll have to live without him again.
So Suho did his best to grit his teeth and pretend he was better than he was, for Sieun’s sake. He tried to hide his shaking hands and low stamina, huffing and puffing just from walking up and down the stairs to his apartment. He wore baggy hoodies and sweatpants to hide what was left of his skinny, gaunt body after losing so much muscle mass. Sieun can read him like an open book, so he resolutely kept his book closed for his best friend’s sake.
Suho convinced his grandma to transfer him to Eunjang to be with Sieun, and he arrived just in time to see Sieun and his new friends graduate. He tried to ignore the flash of possessiveness he felt when he saw them all together, jealousy rearing its ugly head at the sight of Baku’s arm around Sieun’s shoulders. Suho stood next to Sieun’s mom with a bouquet in his hands while Sieun, Baku, Hyuntak, and Juntae took a celebratory photo together, all in their graduation gowns. He felt like an outsider, a ghost haunting Sieun’s life. When Sieun smiled, something genuine, something Suho has only seen from him once or twice before, his stomach lurched. He felt like a terrible person.
Sieun attended his first year in college while Suho did his senior year of high school. It almost killed Suho. Sieun visited as frequently as he could, sitting on his couch on the weekends and letting Suho rant about menial things, but most of the week he was away at college. Sieun started using Instagram for the first time in his life, and Suho tortured himself by stalking his page every night, looking at every new face in every photo, sick to his stomach with envy and longing. That should be me, he thought bitterly. I should be with him. We should be there together.
Now, he’s a super senior at Eunjang High, set to graduate with a bunch of younger kids that Suho doesn’t care enough to befriend, feeling miserable and sorry for himself. His high school graduation is tomorrow, and he can’t even bring himself to be excited about it.
Sieun shows up on his doorstep like he promised he would, with a takeout bag of fried chicken and an oversized university sweatshirt swallowing his small frame. Despite the lump in his throat, Suho lets him in.
“Halmeoni is out with her friends,” Suho says, in response to Sieun’s questioning look as he sets the takeout on the small coffee table in the center of the living room. It gives Suho a lick of satisfaction to know that he and Sieun can still communicate like this, wordlessly, even after their time apart.
Sieun hums and nods, taking a seat on the floor as he fishes out the cutlery from inside of the paper bag. Suho sits next to him, trying to ignore the pit of dread that sits heavy in his stomach.
“Graduation tomorrow,” Sieun says, handing Suho a napkin as he takes out the box of food and opens it up. The greasy scent of fried chicken fills the air around them. “Are you excited?”
Suho’s mouth twists. “Yeah,” he grits out, but the word feels sour on his tongue.
Sieun’s gaze snaps to him immediately, probing. Suho does his best to avoid it, poking at a piece of fried chicken with his flimsy plastic fork and stuffing it in his mouth.
Sieun stares and stares. He will continue to do so until Suho breaks. It’s a well rehearsed routine at this point—Sieun, with his uncanny ability to look at Suho and see into the depths of his soul, and Suho cracking under the pressure like an egg under a hydraulic press.
He doesn’t want it to work. He tries his best to resist. But he’s felt so lonely the past year, has missed Sieun so much. He craves any kind of attention from him, even if it’s Sieun cracking him open and seeing all the ugly emotions he’s been trying to stuff down, out of sight.
Suho breaks. “No. I’m not excited at all.”
Sieun's head tilts. A silent invitation, opening the floor for Suho to rant.
Suho takes it. “I just… I feel so behind. It’s so lonely at Eunjang, all by myself. It sucks seeing you at college, having the time of your life, while I’m held back in time. I feel like I’m too old to be graduating high school, but I also don’t feel like I’ve aged at all since…”
Since the coma. He doesn’t have to finish the sentence, the word fills itself in. They both sit in the heaviness of it, a shared sore spot between them.
Sieun’s eyes soften in that minuscule way, the way that you could only see if you knew him well enough. Suho sighs and runs a hand through his hair, his fingers catching on the rigid skin of his scar. A physical reminder of what he went through, what he survived.
“It’s dumb,” Suho mutters, suddenly embarrassed. “Forget I said anything.”
Sieun shakes his head. “No, it makes sense. You lost a lot of time.”
We lost a lot of time. Suho looks up, looks at the way Sieun has grown and matured even in the past year. His hair is longer, his cheeks are a little less soft. His eyes are much less lonely and sad looking. His heart aches for the time that he lost with Sieun, for the months that he was not a part of Sieun’s world. Even with Sieun here in front of him, right now, he feels like he’s slipping through his fingers.
The memory of Baku’s arm around Sieun’s shoulder flashes through his mind again. His gut curls with something ugly and possessive. Mine, it says, although he feels it has no right to.
“Besides, we’ll be at college together next year,” Sieun says.
The words feel like a punch in the gut. Suddenly nauseous, Suho drops the fork in his hand, letting it clatter back onto the table.
“No, we won’t,” he murmurs. Shame courses through him, burning hot. “I failed the college entrance exam.”
A beat of silence hangs between them. Sieun valiantly holds back his surprise and disbelief, which Suho is grateful for. The last thing he needs is incredulity. What? How could you fail the college entrance exam? Most people pass on their first try.
Instead, Sieun inhales, keeping his tone calm and even as he responds. “That’s okay. You’ll be able to retake it next year.”
“Yeah, and by then you’ll be a fucking junior,” Suho grumbles, dragging his hands over his face. Chicken grease smears across his cheek and sticks to his skin, but he can’t find it in himself to really care. “We’ll get, what, two years together? Assuming I even manage to pass the stupid test.”
“Suho-yah,” Sieun sighs, his face twisting in sympathy. He scoots closer to Suho, placing a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. It’s stiff and awkward, and so Sieun that Suho almost feels like crying. He keeps his hands over his face, not wanting to let Sieun see the tears building on his lash line.
“You are not a failure. It doesn’t matter whether or not you go to college, you know Halmeoni will support you regardless. You’re incredibly lucky to even be alive right now.”
Suho huffs, air passing sharply between his fingertips. If only that were the only thing he was worried about.
“Easy for you to say,” he grumbles. Sieun has always been the smart one between the two of them, which never bothered Suho before. But it’s different now, with Sieun’s smarts taking him to places where Suho can’t reach, driving a wedge between them.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sieun retorts, and now it’s his turn to sound frustrated. Suho feels a pang of guilt deep in his stomach. He knows what he’s feeling is not Sieun’s fault, but facing the real reason why he’s upset is much more terrifying.
So, Suho rolls with the lie. “You’re having the time of your life at college. Studying what you love, making new friends, hooking up with whoever you want.”
The words sit on Suho’s tongue like bile. The idea of Sieun sleeping around makes him want to puke, or punch a hole in the wall, or both. The pictures from Sieun’s instagram updates flicker through his mind—pictures of him at events, with friends, with girls. The brief moment when he thought Sieun and Yeongyi might start dating was already bad enough for his mental health.
Sieun scoffs. “Seriously? You think that’s what I’m doing at university?”
Suho deflates a little at that. The back of his neck grows warm, hot with embarrassment. He knows it was a low blow, a wild assumption. Of all people, Sieun is probably the least likely to ever join the college hookup scene. Part of him just needed to say it out loud, to get the verbal confirmation that it wasn’t true.
“Whatever,” Suho grumbles, petulant. He tries to ignore the foolish hope that wells in his chest at the confirmation that Sieun is not, in fact, sleeping around. “You know what I mean. You’re growing up, you’re becoming an adult. Without me.”
Sieun’s hand squeezes around Suho’s shoulder, once. A heavy, reassuring weight. He lets out a little puff of air through his nose. “You’re plenty adult.”
“I don’t feel like one,” Suho admits, his hands moving from his face to his hair, gripping the strands. He gives them a light tug, relishing the dull pain against his scalp. Then, before he can stop himself, he blurts out. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. What kind of adult am I?”
Something shifts in the air between them. It’s subtle, but Suho feels it as soon as the words leave his mouth. His cheeks flame in embarrassment, keeping his eyes trained on the ground underneath them as silence hangs in the air.
It’s silly, stupid, childish—that something so small could irk Suho so much. There are plenty of adults who’ve never kissed anyone, plenty of kids who have. Different timelines, and all that.
Suho only says it because it’s been weighing so heavily on his mind. Because he’s always known he’s liked Sieun as more than just as his best friend, has always had a tendency to stare at his lips a little longer than normal when they see each other. Has been driving himself crazy with Sieun gone, wondering if he’s been kissing someone else without him knowing.
Sieun breaks the silence. “You haven’t?”
He sounds surprised. Suho lifts his head to peek up at him, and seeing the genuine disbelief on Sieun’s face almost makes him laugh.
“Nope,” he mumbles, reluctantly. He’s starting to sweat underneath his jacket, body warm with embarrassment. His cool guy image is officially destroyed in front of Sieun—critical aura loss.
Another beat of silence. Then, Sieun’s timid voice. “Well, you’re not alone in that. I haven’t either, and you think I’m more adult between the two of us.”
Suho snaps his head up, like an excited puppy. The jealous monster in his head preens once again. Sieun is still untouched. Mine mine mine mine mine.
“You haven’t?” He says, trying to keep the relief and excitement out of his voice.
Sieun rolls his eyes, but it’s half hearted. “No, you freak.”
Suho laughs, finally letting some of the tension leak out of him. Despite his lingering insecurity, it does make him feel better to know that Sieun is holding out. Even if it’s unlikely that he’s holding out for him.
A long stretch of silence engulfs them once again. Sieun’s eyebrows are pinched together, his fingers picking at the carpet underneath him, and Suho can tell he’s deep in thought. Probably trying to think of something to say to comfort him, if Suho had to guess. Sieun has never been the best with words.
To Suho’s surprise, Sieun breaks the silence with a simple question. “Do you want it?”
“Huh?” Suho replies. His mind wanders to the gutter, and he has to force himself to blink away suggestive fantasies of Sieun looming over top of him, naked, whispering seductively. Do you want it?
“Your first kiss, I mean,” Sieun mumbles, bringing him back to reality. His free hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck.
Ah. “I mean, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?”
More silence. If it were anyone else, it would be weird, but Sieun is a man of few words. Suho is used to it. But this silence has tension. Suho can practically see the gears turning in Sieun’s head, can see the war of hesitation flickering in his gaze. Suho reaches forward and takes a swig of water, washing down the aftertaste of greasy Korean fried chicken.
“Should I give it to you?”
Suho nearly chokes, coughing and spluttering as water drips down his chin. He sets the glass down, hard, and turns to Sieun with wild eyes. Sieun won’t look back at him, his tan skin flushed a pretty pink.
“I’m… I’m sorry?” Suho manages, his voice hoarse. He reaches under the table and pinches his thigh to ensure he’s not dreaming. Pain blooms on his skin, tangible. Unbelievable.
“As a graduation present,” Sieun huffs, like it makes it make any more sense. His fingers twist and pull against the carpet strands, and he stares at it like it’s the most interesting thing in the room. “Then you can graduate as a ‘real adult’.”
Leave it to Sieun to make the fantastical sound logical. Suho’s heart hammers in his chest as he looks at him, eyes lingering on his lips. The same soft, full pink lips he’s been dying to kiss for years.
“Are you serious?” Suho breathes, because what else can he say?
Sieun’s gaze flicks up, finally, and Suho can see the doubt that crosses his face. It’s only a split second, but enough to make his heart lurch. “If you don’t want to, then forget it.”
“No!” Suho responds, maybe a little too quickly. “I mean, I’m just… I wasn’t expecting…”
Sieun’s eyes waver with uncertainty. His voice comes out snappy when he asks, “do you want it or not?”
Suho recognizes it as the delicate situation that it is. He tries not to come off as too eager when he nods, sitting up straighter. “Yes, I want it.”
The tension between them is so taut, Suho can barely breathe. They hold each other’s gaze, and Suho can tell Sieun is searching his face. He can only hope that he won’t be scared off by whatever he finds.
He isn’t. Instead, he turns so that he’s facing Suho head on. Suho mirrors his position, and they sit cross legged in front of each other. Suho’s heart jackrabbits in his chest as a flush rises to the apples of Sieun’s cheeks.
“I’m not… I don’t know how to do this either, so,” Sieun mumbles, embarrassment palpable. Suho shakes his head and gives his best attempt at a reassuring smile despite his own nerves. He couldn’t care less if Sieun is a good kisser or not; just being able to kiss Sieun in the first place is like a dream come true.
Sieun lets out another huff of air through his nose before leaning forward, his eyes screwed shut and his lips puckered. What results is a sloppy, wet peck against the corner of Suho’s mouth, almost entirely missing his lips.
Suho can’t help it. He bursts into laughter.
Sieun rears back, his face burning bright red and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Don’t make fun of me!”
“I’m not, I swear,” Suho says quickly, but it doesn’t sound quite convincing through his giggles. “I’m not making fun of you. You’re just so cute.”
Sieun grumbles and turns his head away, petulant. Feeling bold, Suho brings his hand up to cup his warm cheek, guiding him to look back at him.
“It’s okay, we can try again,” Suho murmurs, his voice going soft at the sight of Sieun’s expression, shy and vulnerable. His thumb absentmindedly caresses the soft skin underneath his eye. “It’s just me. It’s just us.”
Sieun visibly relaxes at that, the tension in his shoulders dissipating. It’s just us.
Suho waits for Sieun to nod his consent before leaning in, slow and deliberate. He pauses inches away from Sieun’s face, so close that he goes a little cross eyed, his stomach somersaulting. The way Sieun blinks up at him, his big doe eyes glimmering with anticipation, sends heat straight to his groin.
He finally closes his eyes, pressing his lips against Sieun’s. They stay like that for a moment, simply feeling each other, taking in the sensation. Suho tries to imitate what he’s seen in close up shots in dramas and purses his lips, tilting his head to the side. He can feel Sieun’s breath hitch, can feel the tension in his body.
He pulls back slowly, just enough to look Sieun in the eyes again. Sieun is flushed all over, his hands clenched in fists in his lap. Suho bites the inside of his cheek to keep his fond grin at bay.
“Better?” He asks, in a whisper between them. Sieun’s tongue flicks out over his bottom lip, and Suho can’t stop himself from tracking the movement hungrily.
“Yeah,” Sieun breathes, his voice high and reedy. “Not as dramatic as it is on TV.”
Suho huffs out a laugh through his nose. His eyes bore into Sieun, trying to see into his soul the same way Sieun can do to him. “Did you like it?”
Sieun just stares at him, like a deer in the headlights. It’s so cute that Suho can’t stop himself from giggling again, their faces so close that Sieun can probably feel his breath hitting his face. “Sieun-ah. Did you like it?”
A beat passes between them, and then Sieun nods. It’s so minute, so shy, that Suho might have missed it if he weren’t staring at him already.
“Do you wanna do it again?”
The million dollar question. It feels like the air gets sucked out of the room as Suho waits for an answer, breath bated. Mentally trying to prepare himself for rejection.
But then Sieun nods again, blushing, the bright pink coloring his cheekbones standing out against his tan skin. Suho blinks, caught off guard, before clearing his throat and nodding himself.
“Yeah? Okay. I’m going to kiss you again, okay?”
Instead of responding verbally, Sieun closes his eyes and parts his lips. The quiet submission is so sexy that Suho almost groans, leaning in once more.
This time, their mouths slot together, and Suho takes Sieun’s top lip between his own. He tilts his head to the side, experimental, and sucks on it gently. It makes Sieun hum, a pleased sound that vibrates through his chest, and Suho takes it as a good sign.
They struggle a little to find a good angle, but then Suho starts sucking on Sieun’s lip with a bit more fervor. Sieun gasps, his lips parting, and Suho takes a chance by letting his tongue slip inside Sieun’s mouth.
Sieun full on moans. It sends shivers down Suho’s spine, and he can’t help but let his hands slide down to Sieun’s waist, gripping. Sieun’s mouth is warm and wet, and he opens up easily as Suho slides his tongue inside. Molten lava trickles down Suho’s spine, and he can feel his breath getting heavier as he licks into Sieun’s mouth.
They’re messy, awkward. Suho can feel saliva leaking from his mouth, sticking to his chin. The sound of their lips meeting is so wet that it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, his cock stirring in his sweatpants. Sieun grabs onto Suho’s sleeves, twisting his fingers in the fabric, and Suho pulls him closer using his grip on his waist. He’s so lost in the sensation of Sieun’s lips against his, the taste of him on his tongue, that he barely even registers that his hands are roaming, squeezing at the soft give of Sieun’s hips, thighs, waist.
They finally break the kiss, both of their chests heaving as they pull back. The air between them is heavy and charged with tension. Suho’s hands rest on the curve of Sieun’s hips, thumb rubbing at the seam of his pants absentmindedly.
Sieun swallows, his eyes darting over Suho’s face as he catches his breath. Then, he says something that Suho doesn’t expect.
“Pervert.”
With one word, Suho feels like his body gets lit on fire.
“What?” He practically squeaks, voice high with incredulity. He tries to ignore the way his cock twitches in his underwear as the word echoes in his mind. “I am not!”
“You are,” Sieun retorts. His tone is flat with the same deadpan sarcasm he uses to tease Suho. Only this time, he’s a little breathless. Suho takes pride in that.
“How?” Suho asks, defensively. Sieun merely raises an eyebrow and looks down pointedly, at Suho’s hands on his body.
“You were groping me. While we were kissing,” Sieun says, matter-of-factly. He notably avoids Suho’s gaze.
Suho splutters, racking his brain for a response, an excuse. He comes up with nothing, his thoughts still fogged over with desire, with the taste of Sieun on the tip of his tongue.
“Sorry,” he says instead, going warm with embarrassment. He starts to remove his hands from Sieun’s hips, reluctantly, but then Sieun himself stops him. Suho lifts his head, surprised. Hopeful.
Sieun blows his bangs out of his eyes, looks away. Suho can see the flush that creeps down his neck and under his shirt, and it makes his mouth water.
“I mean, if you want to touch me then you can, I guess,” Sieun says, coy. He still refuses to meet Suho’s eyes. “Just know that you’re a pervert.”
Suho’s heart swells with affection. Sieun is so cute that he thinks it might kill him. He tells him as much, pressing the words against his lips as he brings him back in for another kiss.
Sieun just lets out a muffled noise of protest, even as his body melts into Suho’s embrace and his lips part invitingly. His hands slide up Suho’s arms and wrap around his neck, pulling him in even closer as Suho forces his tongue past Sieun’s lips once again.
They find a solid rhythm, their lips moving together in sync. Push and pull, back and forth—they exchange heated, sensual kisses. Suho licks into Sieun’s mouth hungrily, like he wants to eat him alive. He does a little bit, he realizes, as the heat of Sieun’s body pressing against his sears into his skin through his clothes and makes him dizzy. Making out on his living room floor with his best friend is the last way Suho expected to spend the night before his graduation, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Like an overexcited puppy, Suho finds it hard to control himself. He barely even thinks as he pushes Sieun, ignoring the smaller boy’s soft moan of surprise as his back hits the carpet. His mind is blank except for Sieun Sieun Sieun as he hovers over him, pressing him into the ground, devouring his lips.
Sieun pushes gently at his shoulders, trying to get him to pull back. Suho does, panting as he meets Sieun’s eyes, blown wide with desire and shock. There’s a question in his gaze, but Suho has a hard time focusing as Sieun licks his red, kiss swollen lips.
“Suho-yah—“
Suho isn’t listening. He leans down and begins kissing along Sieun’s neck, tongue laving against his skin. Sieun gasps, his hand flying up to the back of Suho’s head, which only encourages him. He sucks and nips at every inch of skin he can find, relishing the taste, mouthing over the column of his throat.
Sieun moans, voice high and needy. Suho can’t stop himself from rutting forward in response, his hips grinding against Sieun’s. The friction is so good that he groans against Sieun’s skin, his hips setting a rhythm all on their own.
Sieun lets out a series of beautiful choked whimpers as Suho humps him like a dog in heat, almost pushing Sieun’s body up the carpet. He feels like an animal, unable to stop himself, lost in the haze of pleasure of Sieun’s body against his.
“S-Suho… ah,” Sieun keens, his hips bucking up to meet Suho’s despite his verbal protests. Suho slides his hands up Sieun’s shirt, seeking purchase on his warm skin as he leans back up to connect their lips.
He lets his palms splay over his stomach, his chest, feeling Sieun’s pulse race underneath his fingertips. It makes him more excited than he’s ever been in his whole life, and he groans against Sieun’s lips.
“Is this okay?” He asks between sloppy kisses, winded as his thumbs come up to circle around Sieun’s nipples. Sieun jolts like he’s been electrocuted, knocking their teeth together. Suho laughs and pinches the hardening buds between his fingers, repeating breathily, “is this okay?”
The question feels a little empty. Suho is doing whatever he wants anyways, unable to hold himself back any longer. Kissing Sieun broke the dam, and now every feeling he’s shoved down for years is pouring out, threatening to drown him.
But he still wants to make sure Sieun is okay. If Sieun gives him the red light, he’ll try his best to find a way to stop himself, even if it kills him.
But Sieun just nods, his pupils blown wide and his face flushed as he looks up at Suho with half lidded eyes. The sight is something straight out of Suho’s wet dreams.
“Words,” Suho insists, even as his fingers tweak Sieun’s nipples, even as his hips grind down against him like a man possessed.
Sieun groans, sounding less annoyed and more desperate. “I-It’s okay, hyung. Anywhere is okay, touch me anywhere.”
The word ‘hyung’ makes Suho’s ears ring, and he full out moans as he leans down and takes Sieun’s nipple into his mouth, causing the smaller boy to yelp. He grins and suckles on the bud, never stopping the desperate movement of his hips. Sieun’s chest heaves as he throws his head back, his eyes screwed shut in pleasure.
Their bodies meet like magnets, sticking together as Suho kisses down Sieun’s chest and stomach. Sieun’s hands shake where they dig into Suho’s shoulders, and Suho is pleased to find that Sieun blushes easily everywhere. His whole torso is tinged red with arousal. Suho is so hard it hurts.
Suho’s greedy hands are quick to unbutton Sieun’s jeans, yanking them down just enough to expose his boxers. Suho’s fingers slip underneath the hem, teasing the delicate skin around his hips, tracing the line of sparse hair that leads down to the very thing Suho wants to touch the most.
“Suho,” Sieun gasps, the word stuttering in his throat as Suho takes Sieun’s cock into his hand, grip solid and firm. Suho hums as he begins stroking slowly, his movement restricted by the fabric of Sieun’s underwear, his lips still pressed against the warm skin of his stomach.
“Suho,” Sieun repeats, voice cracking around the edges, “Hyung. ‘S too wet.”
Suho can’t help the breathy laugh that rumbles from his chest. His thumb swipes against the tip of Sieun’s cock, collecting the precum beading at the tip.
“Yeah?” He rasps, biting his lip as he uses it to aid the glide of his next stroke. “You’re right, baby. You’re so wet.”
Sieun’s face burns. Suho can see the palpable embarrassment in his expression, and it goes straight to his own cock. “M-my clothes. I’m all sweaty and gross.”
“Well, let’s fix that then,” Suho murmurs, reluctantly letting go of Sieun’s cock and sliding his hand out of his pants in order to start tugging at the waistband of his jeans, pulling them down together with his underwear. The sight of Sieun fully exposed makes his mouth water—he’s a little on the shorter side, but thick, rock hard against his hip. His tip is flushed and red, steadily leaking precum.
Suho reaches out to touch again, but Sieun grabs his wrist, stopping him. Suho looks up questioningly, and Sieun nods at Suho’s sweatpants, at the obvious bulge tenting the front of them.
Suho knows how to take a hint. He hooks his thumbs in the fabric and slides them down his legs with ease, his boxers quickly following as he kicks them off his legs and past the other side of the coffee table. If he were less horny, he might be a little embarrassed about showing his best friend his cock for the very first time. Instead, he drinks in the attention, watching in amusement as Sieun’s eyes widen.
“Fuck,” Sieun whispers, “you’re big, hyung.”
The words make Suho groan, immediately leaning back down to kiss him. Their cocks slide against each other as their bodies press together, and the sensation sends sparks shooting up Suho’s spine. Everything about it feels dirty in the best way—Suho humping Sieun like a desperate puppy, so eager that he’s pressing him down into the living room carpet, not even sparing a moment to migrate to the couch or his bedroom.
Sieun moans, a beautiful sound that makes pleasurable heat pool in Suho’s stomach. Sieun’s hands are uncharacteristically greedy as they pull at the back of Suho’s shirt, rucking it up. Suho is quick to tug both of their shirts off, relieved when they’re both naked. The sensation of his and Sieun’s bodies, skin to skin, completely bare, feels euphoric.
“Wanna fuck you,” Suho murmurs, leaning back down to press wet kisses along Sieun’s jawline. He never stops moving his hips, never slows his rhythm. “Baby, baby. Let me fuck you, please.”
Sieun’s face scrunches up, almost imperceptibly. Suho is fluent in Sieun’s body language, so he can tell immediately that Sieun is not a fan of the idea.
“Why?” Suho whines, petulantly, not even giving Sieun the chance to voice his protest aloud. Sieun huffs a small laugh through his nose, amused.
“Not prepared,” Sieun murmurs. His fingers run along the length of Suho’s back, tracing the hard lines of his shoulder blades. Goosebumps appear along the path. “Too fast.”
Suho scoffs. “And us on the floor, naked, is not too fast?”
Sieun huffs again, this time more annoyed than amused. “Not today, Suho.”
As disappointed as he is, Suho relents, burrowing into Sieun’s neck and licking at every inch of warm skin he can find. Soothing himself. He continues to rut their hips together, and it feels good, but it’s still not quite enough.
“Thighs?” Suho asks, voice muffled into the crook of Sieun’s shoulder. “Can I fuck your thighs?”
A beat passes as Sieun considers it. Pressed up against him, Suho can feel more than see how Sieun’s body warms underneath him as he flushes pink. Cute, Suho thinks to himself, hiding his grin in Sieun’s neck.
“Mmkay,” Sieun hums, voice breathy. Suho lifts his head, unable to hide the excitement in his eyes as he scans Sieun’s face. The smaller boy meets his gaze, biting the inside of his cheek. He gives an imperceptible nod, a silent confirmation. Permission.
Suho doesn’t waste time after being given the green light. His cock is already wet and leaking, just from grinding against Sieun, and he takes a moment to spread it along the length of his shaft with his hand. His moans turn breathy from the minimal stimulation.
Sieun watches him, his pupils blown so wide that his eyes are almost black. As Suho sits up, Sieun hesitates, his legs dangling awkwardly mid-air, still in the same place they were when they were pressed on either side of Suho’s body. Suho can’t stop himself from laughing quietly, endeared, and is rewarded with an equally cute display of Sieun’s eyes flashing in annoyance.
“Here,” Suho murmurs, placing his hands on Sieun’s knees and taking a moment to admire the way they cover his small kneecaps before gently maneuvering him, guiding his legs up. Sieun’s eyes widen as Suho hooks his ankles over his shoulders, smirking.
“Hyung,” Sieun whines, face red. Suho’s cock twitches against his stomach, acknowledging him with a throaty hum before guiding his leaking cock between Sieun’s thighs, encouraging him to press them together with soft squeezes around his legs.
“Cmon, baby,” Suho murmurs, watching with dark eyes as Sieun obliges, slowly, gasping at the feeling of Suho’s erection trapped between his legs.
“There we go,” Suho coos, thrusting forward slowly. Sieun’s skin is hot around him, soft and hugging his cock in all the right places, and Suho can’t help the groan that escapes his lips. The glide is aided by the steady drip of precum leaking from his tip, making Sieun’s tan skin glisten with it.
“Mmm,” Sieun moans, his head falling back as Suho starts up a slow, rhythmic pace. Suho can’t imagine what it must feel like for him, if it’s even giving him any pleasure, but the dazed look in Sieun’s eyes is enough encouragement for him.
“Oh, fuck,” Suho hisses under his breath, his body gaining a mind of its own as he starts rutting forward without abandon. Desperately, selfishly chasing the building arousal at the base of his spine, the searing heat spreading through his veins. “Sieun-ah, baby. So pretty.”
“Hmm?” Sieun hums, his voice a little breathless. He keeps his eyes on Suho, half-lidded, licking his lips. His face is flushed and his bangs are wet with sweat and sticking to his forehead. He looks like a dream. “Pretty? Me?”
Suho’s hips stutter. “Yes, god. So fucking pretty, you have no idea. Been thinking about you like this for years.”
He doesn’t mean to admit that out loud, but it slips out of his mouth anyways. He can feel the blush in his own cheeks, now, eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. His thrusts pick up speed, the prickle of humiliation only heightening his pleasure.
Sieun blinks, slow. Like a cat. Even as his body jostles against the carpet from the force of Suho’s thrusts, even as his eyebrows pinch together at the sensation. His voice is quiet when he responds. “Didn’t know you felt the same. Would’ve done this sooner.”
Suho groans loudly, his orgasm teetering on the edge. His whole body is lit on fire with realization, that the tension he felt between him and Sieun all these years was real and not just a figment of his imagination. His head hangs low, chin brushing against his chest as he ruts forward at a desperate pace.
“Gonna cum, Sieun-ah,” he damn near whimpers, his voice cracking as Sieun squeezes his legs tighter around him in response. It feels so good that he has to pause, take a breath, in order to not cum right then and there.
“You wanna cum, hyung?” Sieun murmurs. “Wanna cum all over me?”
Suho is going to die. His hips stutter again, pathetically, thrusting between Sieun’s thick, warm thighs at a jerky, uneven pace. “Fuck, Sieun-ah. Please.”
Sieun lets a torturous beat of silence pass between them. Then, finally, he responds, his voice low and rough. “Cum for me, hyung.”
As if on command, Suho’s body obeys almost instantly, groaning long and loud as his cock twitches and shoots ropes of cum all over Sieun’s body, coating his thighs and stomach. His head spins and his ears ring through it, swimming in the heaviness of his desire.
After a moment of floating above the clouds, Suho comes down from his high, panting. The sight of Sieun beneath him—flushed, sweaty, marked by his release—is enough to make his spent cock twitch pathetically.
“Mm,” Suho pants, gently prying Sieun’s legs apart to extract his softening erection from their tight grip, sitting back on his heels. Sieun’s face scrunches as he tries his best to remain impassive, but Suho can see his own cock, flushed an angry red and twitching against his hip.
“Let hyung help,” Suho murmurs, lowering himself until he’s face to face with Sieun’s erection. Sieun pushes himself onto his elbows, breath caught in his throat.
Suho takes him into his mouth, and Sieun throws his head back with a long whine. The taste of him is intoxicating—thick, salty precum coats his tongue, his senses drowning in the scent of Sieun’s musk. He takes in as much as he can, trying to hold back his teeth, letting his tongue run experimentally along the vein that snakes along the underside of Sieun’s cock.
Sieun cums in seconds, with no warning. All Suho gets is a sharp gasp, his body tensing underneath him, and then Sieun is bucking up into his mouth and spurting ropes of cum down his throat. Suho swallows it all, greedy, sucking him dry until Sieun is whimpering in sensitivity and tugging at the strands of his hair.
Suho pulls off with a wet pop, a string of saliva tethering his lips to the glistening head of Sieun’s softening cock. Sieun is embarrassed; Suho can tell by the way he turns his head, refusing to meet Suho’s eyes.
“Baby,” Suho murmurs, rubbing a gentle hand along Sieun’s hip. Soothing, coaxing. “Look at hyung.”
Sieun huffs again. His neck is flushed a pretty red and he turns, reluctantly, to look at Suho.
Suho leans forward and connects their lips. He doesn’t care if it’s gross, if Sieun can still taste the remnants of his own release on his tongue. He is overwhelmed by the aching desire to devour Sieun whole, to consume him entirely.
Sieun moans into his mouth, body tensing when Suho licks behind his teeth. Eager, desperate, wanton. If he had a tail, it would be wagging in delight. All Suho can think is Sieun, Sieun. My Sieun. Mine.
Sieun pushes at his shoulders, gentle but firm. Suho pulls away despondently, lower lip jutted out in a pout. He wants to kiss Sieun for hours, pressing their lips and bodies together until they meld as one.
“Suho,” Sieun pants, “hold on a second. We need to talk.”
The words are like ice water down Suho’s back, sobering him. All at once, the weight of what they’ve just done comes crashing down on him.
He just kissed his best friend. He just fucked his best friend’s thighs. He just sucked his best friend’s dick. All very not-normal, not-friendly things to do.
“About what?” Suho says meekly. The thought of Sieun rejecting his feelings makes his stomach turn with nausea. If Sieun is going to turn him down, he’d rather they left the words unsaid.
Sieun gestures pointedly between them, between their naked bodies. “About this. About us.”
Suho sits back and pulls his knees to his chest, suddenly self conscious. “Okay. Yeah.”
They both stare at each other, like they’re both expecting the other to speak first. After an agonizing moment of silence, Sieun sighs.
“What is this to you, Suho?”
The question is so heavy and so loaded that Suho has to pause and think very carefully about his answer. He can see the impatience in Sieun’s body language, his teeth digging into his plump lower lip, still red and swollen from Suho’s kisses. Fuck.
“I… I like you, Sieun-ah. If that, um, wasn’t clear. I’ve liked you for years. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, but I want… so much.”
Suho is warm all over with embarrassment, buzzing with hope and desperately trying to calm the frantic beating of his heart. He tries his best to prepare himself for a rejection, but it’s too difficult to even imagine being turned down now, after everything.
Sieun’s eyes are wide, lips pursed. He has the same look on his face as he had when Yeongyi drunkenly (but sincerely) confessed her feelings for him back in high school. It doesn’t give Suho much hope, considering Sieun rejected her flat out back then.
“I…” Sieun starts, then stops himself. His eyebrows are pinched together, like he’s focusing very hard on processing the fact that Suho has feelings for him. “I really had no idea.”
Suho’s palms are sweating. He wipes them against his still bare legs, cringing at the feeling. God, he can’t believe they’re having this conversation right now, still naked.
“It’s okay if you don’t like me back,” he finds himself saying, even though the mere thought of it makes him feel sick to his stomach, “we can just… fuck around or something, if that’s what you want.”
Sieun’s eyes flash with something unreadable. “You would do that for me? Torture yourself like that? Why?”
Suho shrugs. “I’d do anything for you.”
Thick, heavy silence permeates the air between them. Then, much to Suho’s surprise, Sieun leans forward and smacks his hand against his arm.
“Idiot. Don’t do that,” Sieun grumbles.
Suho looks up in offense, covering the spot Sieun hit with his hand. Before he can even open his mouth to protest, or to ask what the hell that was about, Sieun scoots forward and leans into Suho’s shoulder.
Suho freezes, unable to get his body to move as Sieun nuzzles against his skin, adorably cat-like. The smaller boy lets out a soft sigh as he wraps his arms around Suho’s torso, his movements hesitant and shy despite what happened between them earlier.
“I don’t like that you would hurt yourself for me,” Sieun murmurs. His voice would be inaudible if he weren’t already so close. “You’re lucky I like you too.”
Suho’s heart soars. He can’t keep himself from grinning like a fool as he opens his arms and accepts Sieun fully into his embrace, cradling him against his chest.
“Really?” He asks quietly, tentatively. Even with Sieun cuddling up to him, an incredibly rare initiation of affection that speaks volumes, he still has a hard time believing that it’s real.
Sieun groans, his voice vibrating against Suho’s skin. “Please don’t make me say it again. I’m already embarrassed.”
Suho laughs, ruffling the back of Sieun’s hair as he holds him close. He decides to oblige, not wanting to upset his baby.
After a moment of cuddling, Suho guides them to stand up, taking them into the bathroom to clean up. Wiping his own cum off of Sieun’s stomach and thighs makes his soft cock twitch pathetically, but it’s worth it to see the ghost of a smirk that crosses Sieun’s face.
Suho doesn’t bother getting clothes for them to wear, instead pulling Sieun straight into bed as is, naked as the day he was born. Sieun goes easily, pliantly allowing Suho to bring him into another tight, warm embrace.
As he feels himself starting to drift off, Suho presses his lips against the top of Sieun’s head, smiling into his hair. “Best graduation present ever.”
Sieun rolls his eyes. “Go to sleep, pervert.”