Chapter Text
Love is an emerald. Its brilliant light wards off dragons on this treacherous path."-Rumi
January 2023
Sydney has had the same mysterious stain on her t-shirt for two days now. There didn’t seem to be much functioning when it came to the activity of showering. She was using baby wipes to keep fresh, so she wasn’t smelling yet, but she was starting to feel the grime on her skin, considering the spit up and milk stains.
She was, honestly, exhausted.
Emerald was in a mood today, that much was clear. Nothing seemed to satisfy her. Not even when Sydney did her bouncy bounce as she stood by the window. Not even when Carmy held her on his chest and rocked her in the rocking chair while gently patting her pamper covered booty.
Those were her favorite things. At eight weeks, Emerald was usually an easygoing happy baby, Kind of chill like her grandpa in a lot of ways, but today—today she was on another level.
Sydney sighed shakily when Emerald finished suckling from her nipple and her face screwed up ready to scream again for reasons unknown, still dissatisfied even with a full tummy. She put her breast away as Carmy leaned down and gently rubbed Emerald’s tiny hand with his thumb and forefinger.
“Do you think she might be sick?” He asked worriedly.
Sydney shrugged. “I’m not sure.” She said, her own tone mixed with worry and frustration.
“She’s eating fine. Pooping fine. Doesn’t have a fever.” She winced as Emerald began to cry with a piercing scream once more.
“Maybe we should call Dr. Williams.” She lifted Emerald onto her shoulder as Carmy immediately pulled out his phone to call the doctor. She gently patted Emerald’s back.
They’d taken her for her second checkup yesterday and everything was fine.
“Hang on a second.” She said, stopping him from calling. He looked at her. “We’re doing that first time parent thing where we panic about everything.”
Carmy put his phone back into his pocket with a sigh. “Okay. You’re right.” He stepped forward, face turning white when Emerald cried louder. “What are we doing?”
Sydney arranged Emerald onto her thighs and sighed as she looked down at their daughter. “I don’t think she’s sick.” She said simply, trusting the mothering instinct she’d read about. “Remember, Jazzy said babies are just cranky sometimes and it’s up to us to figure out why.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Right.”
Sydney removed the headband from Em’s head. “Let’s take this sleeper off her.” She instructed and together they removed the cotton sleeper, leaving Em clad in her onesie. She began pumping her little chubby legs, her cries lowering.
“She’s quieting down.” Carmy said softly as he removed her socks. “She was just hot?”
Sydney nodded, giving him a relieved smile when Em quieted completely. They both watched as their little girl went back to her usual happy self. Her arms waving and legs pumping.
Sydney laughed. “Jesus, kid, you could’ve just said you were hot.” She felt a little embarrassed, it took them an hour to figure it out.
She looked at Carmy who was kneeling in front of them, eyes relieved as he gazed down at their daughter. “You should head out. You’re already running late.”
He had left during one of Emerald’s crying fits, needing to get to The Bear to start renovations, but came back saying he felt too guilty leaving her alone in the middle of a baby meltdown.
Sydney was touched, but she knew there may be times where he or she would be left alone during a meltdown at some point in time.
Carmy nodded absently and gently took Emerald into his arms. “Let me hold her for a bit and then I’ll go.”
She knew he was probably a little traumatized from hearing Emerald cry so much, and truth be told, Sydney was a little bit traumatized by it herself, but Carmy was worse than her. Any sound of discomfort Emerald made had him immediately stopping whatever he was doing and picking her up before Sydney could even get to her.
Sydney nodded and stood up, leaning over to give him a quick kiss and then to kiss Emerald’s head. “We’re amateurs, but learning, huh?”
He kissed Emerald’s forehead before gently passing her over. “Yeah. I’ll see you sweet Bear.” He said softly. “I’ll see you guys in a few hours. We can try and work on menu ideas?”
Sydney nodded and he kissed her once more before grabbing his coat and bag to head out.
Emerald cooed in her arms as Sydney moved into the living room. “You want to write some recipe ideas with me, Pretty Bear?” She placed Em onto her baby pillow, smiling softly at her as she settled in comfortably.
“Okay.” She said, reaching for her notebook. “So, I was thinking a creamy lemon ravioli with capers and pancetta.” She looked at Em who was waving her tiny hands and feet happily.
“Do you think Daddy would hate on it?” She grinned as the infant smiled and cooed at her.
“Probably. Yes, he would, but we’re going to convince him, aren’t we? We’re definitely going to have to elevate it because it’s basic, but we’ll worry about that later.”
Lately, her brain and creativity seemed to be at a standstill. She didn’t know what it was, but her inspiration for fire recipes seemed…distant. Maybe it was exhaustion? Maybe becoming a mom had taken some of the magic she had.
In the past, when Sydney had a mental block of creativity, it would frustrate her to the point of sadness and anxiety, but now that seemed to have changed because whenever she looked at Em, having a mental block didn’t seem as crucial as it did in the past.
“Let’s write down the recipe and then we’ll do tummy time.”
After tummy time. There was Emerald’s mid-morning hour long nap, which Sydney used to write down more recipe ideas while she stuffed her face with a cinnamon raisin cream cheese bagel with eggs.
Sydney’s phone buzzed and she blinked in surprise at Carmy’s text.
‘We have to knock down the walls.’
‘Damn. Okay. Stay safe. Love you.’
‘Love you too. Pic of Em?’
She grinned as she snapped a picture of a sleeping Emerald, asleep on her mobile baby bed and sent it to him. He responded immediately.
‘So beautiful. Can’t wait to hold her again.’
‘❤️. See you later, Daddy.’
‘That works. That wasn’t weird.’
Sydney giggled before tossing her phone down onto the couch. She should shower, but she was low-key too afraid to leave Emerald alone if only for a few minutes. She stood up and went into the kitchen to clean and sanitize Emerald’s bottles so she could pump more milk for when Carmy gets home so he can feed her. By the time she was finished, she had twenty-minutes to spare so she laid back onto the couch for some rest.
It was a simple routine; one she had to learn to accept as she and Carmy quickly realized how much energy it took to take care of an infant.
There were lower expectations. Listening, or at least trying to listen, to the rhythm of her body. Sydney was still trying to find the balance between self-care and care for Emerald.
It wasn’t easy.
Carmy often gently encouraged her to rest when Emerald was resting. To not push herself too hard. He often had to remind her it was okay if she couldn’t get every task she’d set for the day done.
It was an adjustment for her, but one she was slowly getting used to…this slowdown.
Soon, twenty-minutes had passed, and Emerald was waking up from her nap like clockwork. Quietly fussy as her eyes opened.
It was time to eat again.
“Okay, pretty Bear.” She said as she slipped from the couch, reaching for a diaper and baby wipes. “Let mommy change you and then you’ll get the boob.”
Emerald seemed to agree with the offer as she quieted her fussing, simply blinking slowly up at Sydney as her diaper was changed. She cooed as Sydney picked her up and brought her closer so she could feed her.
Sydney sighed as her baby easily latched on. She smiled down at Emerald who was gazing up at her as she ate.
“I can’t believe you exist.” Sydney murmured. “It’s crazy.” She said, gently rocking her daughter as the infant continued to slowly blink her big brown eyes up at her. She ran her fingers through Em’s sandy brown curls which were wild like her father’s.
It always amazed Sydney that this was her life now. Living in New York, she hadn’t given much thought to motherhood. The possibility seemed so far and at odds with her life plans, but…here she was.
“I’m obsessed with you, Pretty Bear and so is your Daddy.”
She smiled as Emerald finished eating, laughing softly as the baby began to smile up at her. “All good?” She asked, putting away her breast and lifting the happy baby onto her shoulder to burp her.
Afterward there was more playing and Tummy time. Emerald usually didn’t take a nap until one-thirty but was usually cool quietly hanging out until then.
“Do you think we should go for our walk?” Sydney asked the baby. “It’s warmer today than it has been all week.” Sydney kissed her daughter’s cheek.
There was a knock at the door.
Sydney and Emerald made their way down the hall and glanced into the peephole, her eyes widening in surprise as she spotted Donna standing there on the other side. She immediately opened the door, a welcoming smile on her face.
“Donna, hey.” She greeted, standing to the side so the older woman could enter. “You came.”
Donna nodded. “I hope it’s okay?”
Sydney waved her hand as she closed the door. “Of course. I’m glad you’re here.”
They moved back down the hall to the living room.
Donna had visited Sydney the day after she had given birth, much to she and Camry’s surprise. It had been an awkward affair with Carmy quickly exiting stage left as Sydney took up the slack in being inviting and graceful, honestly feeling obligated to make sure Emerald met her grandmother.
She and Emerald had visited Donna one week ago and she was glad Donna took her up on her offer to visit.
“Thank you sweetie. It’s good to see you.” Donna said, moving to the sink to wash her hands.
Once she finished, she turned, holding out her hands as she moved closer so she could hold Emerald. She took the receiving blanket Sydney handed her to and placed it over her shoulder.
“Hello, Beautiful Bear. Look at you.” Donna smiled as Emerald cooed at her. “Are you happy to see Grandma? Yes. Oh yes, you are.” She looked at Sydney. “How are you?”
Sydney nodded. “I’m good. Adjusting, but holding it together.”
Donna gave her a smile of amusement. “You’re exhausted, huh?”
Sydney smiled as she nodded with a small laugh. “Pretty much, yeah.”
Donna nodded as she began to gently rock Emerald. “Carmy’s out?” She asked lightly.
Sydney nodded. “Yeah. he’s at the restaurant. Renovations have started.”
Donna nodded with a hum. “Well, I’m here if you want a break. Do the things I know you haven’t had time to do. Take a shower. Get in a nap.”
A shower sounded beautiful, but Sydney still hesitated. “Are—are you sure?” She asked.
The older woman gave her a reassuring smile as she gently swayed Emerald in her arms, the look natural and comfortable from her experience and skill. “We’ll be fine here. You deserve some rest.”
Sydney nodded, moving forward to kiss Emerald’s forehead. “Thanks.” She said. “The pumped bottles are in the fridge. The warmer is on the counter. Just..holler for me if you need anything.”
Donna moved into the livingroom so she could sit on the couch. “Okay, sweetie.”
Sydney watched them for a few more seconds. “Thanks for this.” She said, tone grateful.
Donna waved as she rocked Emerald in her arms. “Sydney?”
Sydney paused before she turned to go.
“Thank you again.” Donna said, voice soft.
Sydney smiled as she nodded. “You’re welcome.”
88
Sydney stirred in bed, body relaxed and warm as she experienced the best nap she’s had in her entire life.
She blinked rapidly as her eyes slipped open, the delicious scent of food the first thing she noticed.
She lay there for a bit, eyes adjusting to the darkened bedroom as she tried to regain her bearings.
She remembered a luxurious twenty-minute shower where she scrubbed her skin clean; shampooed and conditioned her hair. She remembered blow drying her hair, tying it up into a loose bun, and collapsing into bed after moisturizing and getting dressed.
She stretched languidly as she casually glanced at the time, eyes widening as she realized she’d been asleep for three and a half hours. That wasn’t a nap, it was a fucking sleep marathon.
“Shit.” She whispered.
She shot up and immediately scrambled out of bed, hurried down the hall, and into the living room, pausing as she spotted Donna, standing at the table rolling out dough and speaking in soft sweet tones.
Sydney swallowed as she spotted Em, calmly sitting on top of the table, safely in her bouncy chair, cooing happily while she waved her chubby arms and legs.
Sydney stepped forward, relief filling her, but still felt guilty for sleeping so long.
“Hey.” She greeted.
Donna looked up, smiling gently. “You’re looking well rested.” she said. “Did you sleep well?”
Sydney nodded as she made her way over, smiling down at her daughter who began to coo and pump her tiny legs even more.
“I did, thank you. I—I’m sorry I slept for so long.” It has been too fucking long since she’s had uninterrupted sleep.
Donna waved her hand. “Nonsense. If someone had let me sleep when I had my babies, I might be less crazy.” She smiled down at Em. “isn’t that right little Em? Grandma might be less crazy, huh?” She laughed as Em smiled and cooed at her. “That’s right, baby. No, we had a good time together. We danced. took pictures, she demanded I feed her and change her. She had her own little nap and now she’s helping me cook dinner.”
Sydney nodded. “It smells delicious.” She said. “What are you making?”
“Minestrone with White Bean and sausage.” She started kneading the dough. “I’m also making a Ricotta Lemon Pie.”
Sydney perked up at this. “That sounds delicious.” She said softly. “Do you need any help?”
Donna waved her off. “No. No. I’m fine. You just relax.”
Sydney nodded as she pulled up a chair and sat beside Emerald. She glanced around, noticing for the first time that the kitchen and living room had been cleaned.
The dishes that had piled up were gone, the counters wiped down and the floors were obviously swept and mopped. The basket of laundry she’d put onto the couch days ago was now neatly folded inside of the basket. Damn.
“Thank you for cleaning.” She said, feeling embarrassed, they’d been a bit neglectful, but they’ve both been so busy, building up the bear and taking care of an infant. The only thing they could focus on cleaning were themselves (barely) , the baby, the bottles, and baby clothes.
Donna shook her head. “Of course, sweetheart. It was my pleasure.”
She sighed. “When I had Mikey, I could barely think about cleaning. My husband, god rest his terrible soul, was completely useless.” She laughed a bit and continued. “My ma would come over every week, tell me how useless I was as a mother and then clean my house from top to bottom. She would smoke like a chimney, even around Mikey, can you believe that?”
She shrugged. “At least I had help.”
Sydney blinked with surprise, head spinning a bit from the story. “That Is true.” She said with a nod.
“I bet Carmy is helpful, isn’t he?” Donna asked and Sydney nodded.
“Yes.” She answered.
He was always up with her when Emerald needed her. During the nightly feedings, he was right there, assisting in changing and burping after said feedings. He made bottles, washed bottles, washed clothes, cooked dinner, and took on Em alone whenever Sydney felt on edge and needed a nap.
It always amazed her how much he could keep going, but she made sure he took his own breaks. They were a good team so far.
Sydney had heard stories from her aunties. Expect to do most things by yourself, she was told, but that wasn’t the case with Carmy. He was hands-on. He knew they were in this together and she was glad about it because if he left her to do everything, he would have a problem on his hands, and the problem would be her attitude.
Donna nodded. “That doesn’t surprise me. Carmen has always been a helpful, sensitive, and sweet boy. So much so, I sometimes wondered where he came from.” Donna finished rolling out the dough before placing it into the pan. “I used to think he was gay, but—” She laughed a bit. “I’m glad he has someone.”
There was sadness in Donna’s gaze after she said that, and Sydney could only guess because Carmy didn’t want to have much to do with her. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be grateful for your visit and help.”
Donna snorted as she put the filling into the pie. “I’m sure that’s untrue.” She put the pie into the oven. “Carmen is very resentful and angry at me. All my children are, I’m not a moron.”
Sydney watched her quietly, feeling a tinge of anxiety at the sudden turn of mood. “I would feel terrible if Emerald was ever angry or resentful with me.” She said looking at her daughter.
“I do feel terrible.” Donna whispered, turning to face her. “But—it’s my fault. I made this mess.”
Sydney wouldn’t disagree with that because the truth was clear to her. “If there’s love you can always try to fix it.” She said sagely. It was something her father told her long ago.
Tears suddenly surfaced in Donna’s eyes, and she sniffled, quickly wiping her cheeks. She shook her head as she pointed at Sydney. “I can see why my son loves you.” She hastily wiped her eyes again. “Your food processor is amazing, by the way.”
Sydney grinned. It was top of the line and presented to her when they had arrived home from the hospital with Emerald. “Carmy bought It for me. It was my push gift.”
“A push gift?” Donna asked confused.
Sydney nodded. “I pushed his kid out. He gave me a gift. Apparently, it’s a thing.”
Donna shook her head. “How times have changed.” She muttered, voice wet from her tears.
Sydney only smiled. “Do you want to have a fashion show with Em while the pie bakes? I bought some cute baby outfits and headbands for her recently, and we could take pictures.” It was one of her and Carmy’s favorite past times.
Donna’s face transformed as she smiled. “Yes.” She said softly. “I would love that.”
Emerald was down for the fashion show, as she always was, and they’d gotten some cute pictures of each outfit, the last few pictures were of Donna holding a smiling Emerald in her arms. Sydney printed out the pictures for Donna to take back with her.
“I can’t wait to frame these.” The older woman exclaimed as she looked through the pictures before putting them in her purse. “She’s the most beautiful grandbaby.”
“She is.” Sydney agreed.
They moved back into the kitchen and Sydney watched as Donna pulled the pie out of the oven.
“Well, that’s done. I should get going.” She said.
Sydney patted Emerald’s back as she frowned. “You should stay for dinner. Carmy will be here in a little while.”
Donna put her coat on as she shook her head. “I have to get home anyway and prepare something for Lee.” She grabbed her purse.
Sydney wanted to suggest she bring Lee something home but didn’t want to push. “Are you sure?” She asked once more as she followed Donna to the door.
Donna smiled at her. “I’m sure. Besides I want to give Carmen the space he needs.” She hugged Sydney and Em, kissing the baby’s temple before she pulled away. “Grandma will see you again soon.” She smiled at Sydney. “Thank you, for today.”
“Of course.” She said, feeling strangely grateful for Donna’s presence. “Thank you so much for helping out. I—I hope you can stay for dinner next time.”
Donna smiled. “I hope so too Sydney. Tell Carmen—” She trailed off. “Tell him I’m so proud of the man he’s become.”
Sydney nodded. “I will, but I hope you’ll be able to tell him yourself.”
Donna reached out and squeezed her hand before exiting the apartment.
8
“It smells good in here.” Carmy commented as he washed his hands at the sink. He frowned. “Is that minestrone?” He asked. “You baked a pie?” He paused, tilting his head as he realized what kind of pie it was. “My mom used to make this pie all the time.” He said, glancing up at Sydney. “It was one of my favorites.”
Sydney nodded. “Yeah. Your mom was the one who made it along with dinner. She came to visit today. Took care of Em while I took the best nap I’ve ever had in my entire life.”
Carmy looked surprised before glancing around the kitchen and peeking into the livingroom. “She cleaned.” He said flatly.
“Mmhmm. I tried to get her to stay for dinner, but she said she needed to cook dinner for Lee. She was here most of the day.” She gauged his reaction, looking for any type of emotional expression but there was none.
Carmy moved around the counter and kissed her cheek before kissing Emerald’s curls. “I’m gonna go take a quick shower so I can hold our baby.”
Sydney watched him go, gently rocking Emerald before sighing. She looked down at their baby. “You think we can get Daddy to open up, Pretty Bear?” She grinned as Emerald cooed at her. “I think so too. It’s a tall order, but he can’t resist our charms.”
Sydney moved to the couch to sit, switching on the television before gently placing Emerald onto her baby pillow.
Carmy emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, freshly showered and dressed in a t-shirt and boxers. He made a beeline for Emerald, gently picking her up from her pillow.
Sydney moved the pillow so he could sit next to her. “Good shower?” She asked, smiling as he placed gentle kisses underneath Emerald’s jaw and snuggled her close.
He nodded and cuddled Emerald in the crook of his arm.
“How was the wall knocking?”
“It went well. I thought it would cost more, but we have enough in the budget for it”
He looked at her. “I’m glad you were able to rest today.” He said simply.
Sydney nodded, knowing this was the closest he would get to acknowledging his mom coming for a visit. “It was nearly four uninterrupted hours Carm. I didn’t realize how tired I’d been. It was nice of Donna to do that.”
“Hmm.” He said softly. “Was Emerald happy to see her?”
Sydney nodded. “She was. She likes being with her Grandma.”
Carmy’s lips pursed. “She likes being with everyone.” He said, and it was true. Emerald is a chill baby. She didn’t get cranky often and rarely kicked up a fuss when it came to being around other people—unless you’re Fak.
Sydney nodded in agreement. “That’s true.” Still, his words kind of hurt her feelings. She stood up. “You hungry?” She asked, moving to the kitchen. “I’ll fix us some soup.”
She ladled soup into two bowls, sighing to herself as she contemplated how she would broach the subject of his anger at his mother. She knew it was a touchy subject for him, but he would have to eventually deal with it.
She started in surprise and turned when Carmy’s hand touched her hip. He held Emerald against his chest, one arm holding her under her diapered butt as his free hand pulled Syd closer. She let him pull her into his side and she blinked in surprise when he gently kissed her cheek.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized softly. “I—I know it’s nice for Emerald when her grandmother comes…I—I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole. I know I hurt your feelings, and I’m sorry for that.”
Sydney nodded and turned back to the task at hand. “I know you’re like…working stuff out.”
“But I’m not.” He said, his voice quiet. “Working anything out.”
Sydney looked up at him and there was an unmistakable sadness in his gaze. She gave him her full attention. “Tell me more?” She asked.
“Natalie said she’s different. That she’s getting help and seems tamer, at least tame for Donna.” He shrugged and kissed Emerald’s tiny hand. “I never realized how angry I was until she didn’t show up to the baby shower.” He shrugged. “I—I wanted her there. Everyone else was there except for Mikey, and she decided not to show.”
Sydney reached for his hand. “You sound like you have a lot to say to her.”
He nodded. “She always made it so hard. Just—loving her. She made it such a difficult fucking task for us. We always had to do so much to show that we love her and she couldn’t even show up to her granddaughter’s baby shower.”
“She hurt you.” Sydney said and he sighed.
He gently bounced Emerald in his arms. “I’m used to being hurt by her.”
She grabbed his hand. “No one could get used to being hurt by their own mother.” She lifted his hand and kissed the back of it before getting back to preparing their food.
“I’m not ready to forgive anything.” He said, tone stubborn.
Sydney nodded in understanding. “Forgiveness is a process and a right. You give it when you’re ready.”
He nodded. “But?”
Sydney shook her head. “No but. Carmy, I get it. I’m just glad we’re talking about it. I didn’t have to live with Donna. You were right when you said I don’t understand. I don’t because I didn’t grow up that way.” She handed him his bowl of soup.
“Thank you.” He said, making his way toward the table and carefully sitting. He placed his bowl down before gently securing Emerald in her bouncy chair. “I—I’ll try to answer her the next time she calls.”
Sydney raised her eyebrows as she made her way to the table, bowl in hand. “Really?”
He sighed. “I don’t want to walk around feeling this anger—even though it’s justified. I—I’m not ready to forgive her, but if she’s coming around, I owe it to you two to try.”
Sydney nodded, biting her lip. “Not if it hurts you.”
Carmy shrugged his shoulders. “Some things just hurt Syd. I can’t keep avoiding it. It’s about growing up. That’s what I’m trying to do.”
It was true. Sydney had noticed. Carmy is the same, but different in so many ways. Ever since he’d made that deal with Cicero and proposed to her back in October, he seemed to be standing taller. He was always assertive in the kitchen, but while they built up The Bear, he’d become a true boss.
Taking charge and not losing his shit like he used to. He was calmer; more focused and clearer headed. More open. Richie commented one evening that his balls must have finally dropped.
It was crude but kind of an apt description.
Not that Sydney thought Carmy wasn’t “the boss” but she could tell he was starting to believe he was strong and capable when it came to life and that fact made him ten times more attractive to her, something Sydney didn’t think possible considering how hot he made her.
She leaned over and placed a soft kiss onto his lips. “I’m glad.” She said simply.
They ate their soup, softly talking about the rest of the tasks they needed to finish regarding The Bear for the week as well as their recipe ideas.
“It’s basic I know.” Sydney muttered as Carmy looked at her notebook.
“Basic isn’t always bad.” Carmy commented. “I’m sure we can elevate these. They’re good ideas, Syd.” He looked at her. “What’s the matter?”
Sydney shrugged. “I’m just…not feeling creative lately. Ever since I’ve had Em, creating dishes have been the furthest thing from my mind.”
Carmy hummed. “Becoming a Mom is a huge change for you Sydney. I think it’s normal to feel how you feel.”
Sydney nodded. Nurse Jazzy and Dr. Williams had both told her about hormonal changes affecting her. She’d read a bunch of literature on it, but she was afraid she’d never go back to being as ambitious and creative as she used to be.
Sydney sighed. “I know. I’m just. Maybe I should care more? Because I kind of don’t care as much as I think I should.”
Carmy squeezed her hand. “Chef Terry is coming to visit Saturday, right? Maybe you can talk to her about it?”
Sydney nodded, smiling in appreciation that he didn’t try to come up with a solution and instead noticed she needed to talk to someone who had gone through this already.
“I’ll cut us some pie.” He announced, running his finger across Emerald’s cheek before standing.
It was soon after they finished their dessert that Emerald began to kick up a fuss for her own dinner.
Carmy unbuckled her from her chair making quiet shushing tones. “Okay. Sweet Bear, we hear you.” He stood up and carried her into the kitchen to get one of her pumped bottles.
“At least she let us finish our food this time.” Sydney commented as he put the bottle into the warmer.
Carmy winced with a smile as Emerald gave a demanding piercing cry.
“Small favors.” He said softly. Outside of wanting her diaper changed, Emerald kicked up the most fuss when it came to getting her bottle or Sydney's boobs. She knew the routine and did not like it if there was so much of an inkling of change in it.
“She takes her food seriously, I respect that.”
Sydney smiled. “She is us.” She replied, standing and moving into the kitchen. She kissed Emerald’s red cheek. “The bottle is almost warm pretty Bear.” The bottle warmer started beeping and Carmy pulled it out. He tested the temperature and Sydney smiled as he brought the bottle to Em’s lips and the baby immediately quieted, greedily drinking down her evening meal.
The family moved to the couch and the two simply watched her, soft smiles on their faces. Sydney sighed as she gently ran her fingers through Emerald’s brown curls. She leaned against Carmy’s shoulder. “It is wild that we made her.” She commented and Carmy’s smile widened.
“Insane.” He agreed. He glanced at Sydney. “You did most of the grunt work, though.”
She nodded. “I sure did.” She kissed his cheek. “I’m going to get her bath stuff so we can give her a bath before her bedtime.”
He nodded as he kept a careful eye on the baby’s drinking, smiling as Em kept her gaze focused on him.
Sydney returned with an armful of bath supplies just as Carmy was burping Emerald. “She drink all four ounces?” She asked.
“Like a champion.” He commented, smiling as Emerald gave a healthy belch. He stood up and followed Sydney into the bathroom, gently bouncing Emerald as she cooed, happy her tummy was full once more.
He kissed Em's tiny hand as he watched Sydney place the baby tub inside their bathtub and switch on the water, testing the temperature with her hand until it was a safe warm temperature. He began to unsnap her onesie when Sydney turned to take off her headband.
He unsnapped and slipped the onesie off. He kissed her chubby cheek and undid her diaper.
“Naked baby coming up.” He gently passed Emerald to Sydney.
“You ready for your bath Pretty bear?” Sydney asked as she gently placed Emerald into her tub. Emerald smiled at her parents, waving her arms as Sydney gently bathed her.
Carmy lifted her up when Sydney was finished and wrapped her in her baby bathrobe.
“We can put the lighter sleeper on her?” He suggested and Sydney nodded.
“Yeah, so she won’t go apeshit on us again.”
They moved into Em’s nursery, working in tandem. Carmy moisturized her skin and easily slipped her diaper on while Sydney brushed her curls with the baby hair product her cousin had made for her. Together, they dressed her in her sleeper, and when they were finished, Carmy cradled her close as he settled into the rocking chair Richie had bought for them.
Sydney softly sang a lullaby as she knelt beside them, running her fingers gently through Emerald’s curls while Carmy rocked her. It only took Emerald eight minutes to fall asleep, but the two parents let another ten minutes pass before deciding to place the sleeping infant in her crib.
“Night, Em,” Sydney whispered as Carmy switched on the video monitor.
They moved out into the hallway, closing the door halfway behind them.
“She’ll be up in about four hours for my boobs,” Sydney whispered as they headed into the bathroom to brush their teeth, their shoulders bumping as they moved around each other.
When they made it into their bedroom, Carmy sat on the edge of the bed and reached for Sydney, pulling her between his legs. She went easily, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of his head.
They simply watched each other for a long moment.
“Hi,” he said, his hands slowly caressing up her back. “You smell nice.”
Sydney raised an eyebrow. “So, I was smelly before?”
Carmy shrugged. “I mean, you hadn’t showered in two days, and you were going a little stale—ow!” he yelped when Sydney pinched him. “I loved you all the same. I’ve loved you coming home smelling like fish and onions.”
It was true. Their after-service food smells had become part of their foreplay sometimes.
Sydney cupped his cheek. “Your oniony scent is my favorite.”
They shared a kiss, and he pulled Sydney onto his lap.
“It’s aromatic,” he said with a small smile, making her giggle softly.
They kissed again, and Sydney glanced at the time.
“It’s nearly eight-thirty, and we aren’t passed out.”
These days, the pair barely made it to eight-fifteen.
“I mean, you did have an almost four-hour nap,” Carmy reasoned. “I, on the other hand...” He trailed off as Sydney leaned down to kiss his throat. “You tryin’ to seduce me?”
Sydney scoffed. “Like I have to try.”
She lifted her head and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I’m energized, clean, and well-fed, so...” She trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows.
Carmy laughed. “You make yourself sound like an animal.”
Sydney sighed. “Honestly, I’m kind of like a dairy cow. As soon as Em starts crying, my body reminds me I need a milking.”
They both remembered the leaking-milk disaster after she’d forgotten to put on her breast pads.
She leaned in again, pressing a kiss beneath his jaw.
“I want you,” she said simply. Then she hesitated, lifting her head. “Do you...” She trailed off, biting her lip.
Carmy raised a hand and caressed her cheek. He knew Sydney was self-conscious about her body since having Emerald, and he took every chance he could to remind her she was still beautiful.
“Yes, Syd. I always want you,” he said simply before adding, “I mean, I might fall asleep in the middle of things, but I give you full permission to finish without me.”
Sydney smiled softly and tilted her head. “But then who’s gonna do all that work?”
Carmy sighed.
“Even after getting the best nap of your life, you’re gonna make me do all the work?”
“Yes,” she answered with a nod and a laugh.
Suddenly, a large yawn cracked open her jaw.
“Well, looks like I’ll fall asleep too.” She shrugged. “This is our life now.”
Carmy gently rubbed her back.
“Wanna make out until we fall asleep?”
Sydney nodded eagerly and slipped from his lap. She crawled into bed, opening her arms to Carmy as he lay beside her. She could barely remember the last time they’d had a proper make-out session. There never seemed to be enough time between taking care of Emerald, building The Bear, and sheer exhaustion.
She sighed as their lips met, burying her fingers in his hair as their mouths opened to one another, and God, it was good.
Carmy’s warm hand rested on her hip as they became reacquainted. Tongues and lips moved lazily together, familiar and unhurried.
Sydney had almost forgotten how good of a kisser he was. How easily he could make her toes curl.
Needing air, she pulled away first, rubbing her nose against his as she did.
Carmy smiled sleepily at her.
“You good?”
She hummed and nodded.
“So good.”
She kissed him once more before pulling away again.
“We still got it... sort of.”
Another yawn escaped her before she snuggled closer, burying her face in his chest.
“I should be responsible and sleep so I can get a proper rest before Emerald needs me.”
Carmy turned to switch off the bedside lamp before wrapping his arms around her once more. He kissed her forehead.
“Night, Syd.”
She snored.
TBC