Chapter Text
“Dude, Mike has been acting weird all week. Now he's getting hammered? This is 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘦𝘳 weird.” Dustin was the first to bring up the elephant that had been standing in every room with them for five days straight. No matter what they were doing or where they were hanging out, Mike had been acting skittish, like something was wrong, but he wouldn't talk to anyone about it. Not even Will. He kept claiming nothing was wrong, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Steve and Nancy had even tried to get him to open up. Still, he refused.
“Yeah. At the arcade yesterday, he jumped a foot in the air when I asked if he wanted the next turn on Double Dragon.” Lucas took a sip of his beer, keeping his eyes on Max dancing with Jane and the other girls in the living room of whoever's house they were in.
“You think he's still upset that Jane broke up with him?” Dustin handed Will a beer and opened one for himself.
“No. That's not it.” Will opened his beer and took a sip, cringing at the taste despite his effort not to. No one else seemed to mind the taste, but he hated beer. He kept sipping it to fit in as he eyed the fruity Boone’s Farm wine the girls were drinking.
What he didn't tell Lucas or Dustin was the fact Mike had confided in him how relieved he was Jane broke up with him because he knew things had changed. He told Will he only loved her as a friend, so ending their relationship worked out well for the both of them. That definitely wasn't the reason he was avoiding eye contact with everyone and avoiding touching Will. That was the part that hurt him the most, but he'd never admit it to anyone.
He and Mike had always been touchy, like bumping elbows when they walked and letting their legs and arms touch when they shared a blanket on the couch during movie nights. Mike was always okay with it, smiling at Will and pulling him in for a hug whenever he sensed Will might be upset, but this week Mike had suddenly learned the meaning of the words “personal space” and Will absolutely hated it. Mike kept his distance, chose to sit far away from Will, and refused to even look him in the eyes. It was killing him inside. Instead of bringing it up, though, Will just clenched his jaw and shamed himself for craving Mike's touch in the first place. After being secretly in love with Mike for years, he thought he should be better at accepting this kind of disappointment, but it ate at him inside a little more each day. Soon, he expected to see a giant hole in his chest like he was the pear in that kid's book about the caterpillar.
“I don't know what else it could be. You live with him, Will. Do you have any ideas?” Dustin was a really good friend. He seemed determined to figure out what Mike's problem was, yet he remained unaware they literally couldn't. Mike was the only one who knew what was going on inside his head and he kept his secrets locked up tight. Even Will wasn't allowed in that vault, a fact that once again reminded Will they weren't as close as they used to be.
“No. He won't talk to me.” Will took a big gulp of beer without wincing this time.
“Maybe he'll talk once he's sloshed. Shouldn't take long at this rate.” Lucas nodded his head in Mike's direction across the room so the three of them could watch him finish his beer, toss the can to the floor, and open another one.
“What's that, like, four down?” Dustin asked.
“Five,” Will corrected. Mike didn't like drinking. He always ragged on Lucas and Dustin for trying to get their hands on alcohol since they were mostly only seventeen. Once they did manage to find some, he often only had one, complaining the whole time. Tonight was different. Mike had apparently decided he was going to get black-out drunk, so Will was keeping a close eye on him in case his plan backfired.
“Yeah. He'll be falling over puking pretty soon.” Dustin gave Will a questioning look that meant, ‘𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵?’ Will nodded.
“Right! Come on, Lucas.” Dustin's hand came down hard on Lucas's shoulder. “They've got beer pong in the garage and 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 my partner.”
“Fine.” Lucas rolled his eyes and stepped next to Dustin before he turned to check with Will. “You good?”
“Yeah. Go have fun. I'll keep an eye on Mike.”
“And the girls,” Lucas added, even though they all knew Max was plenty tough enough to take care of herself and anyone she loved.
“Of course,” Will answered in the same tone someone else would say the words, ‘𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵.’ Lucas, being very accustomed to Will's attitude, rolled his eyes in response and followed Dustin out to the garage. Mike was still across the room arguing about something like always, throwing his hands around gesturing and pointing. He'd known Mike practically his whole life and Mike was nothing if not dramatic.
Setting his beer down, Will turned around, picked up a red cup, and poured himself some cheap wine. He could always claim it was the punch they'd watched someone make with entire bottles of the hard stuff. One taste of the wine, however, and Will knew he'd made the right choice. It was way better than the sour flavor of beer - much more tolerable. That's when he heard a crash followed by Max's voice saying, “Oh my God, Mike! Really?”
Abandoning his drink, Will rushed over to find Mike sprawled across the floor laughing next to a knocked over side table, a couple spilled drinks, and a lamp on its side. Max fixed the side table, so Will put the lamp on top and turned his attention to Mike, who was still rolling around laughing like a jackass.
“Mike! Are you okay?” Will knelt next to him, trying to get him to focus and respond. His face was bright red and his eyes were floaty. He was obviously drunk.
“Will! Oops!” Mike laughed again.
“Yeah, 𝘰𝘰𝘱𝘴 is right. Come on. Get up.” Will hoisted Mike up under the arms and pulled him to a standing position. Mike pushed Will away and looked around.
“Are you okay?” Will asked again, trying not to focus on the rejection that landed in his heart like a flaming arrow. Then Mike looked Will in the eyes for the first time in days and smiled.
“Yeah. Gotta get another beer.” Mike stumbled forward, pushing Will aside and stomping toward the kitchen island. Mike scooped up a beer and popped it open, taking a big gulp.
“Whoa, Mike. Haven't you had enough beer?” Will asked, hoping Mike would see reason and stop before things got worse.
“Nope. Having fun.” Mike raised his beer in the air and bounced with the beat of the music. If he didn't know any better, he'd think Mike actually wanted to 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦. He stumbled even though he was standing still, so Will decided on a different activity for them both.
“Wanna get some air?” Will picked up the drink he'd abandoned a few minutes before and nodded toward the sliding glass door that led onto the back patio. He also grabbed a bottle of water for Mike when he got done with beer number seven. Mike took another gulp of beer and shrugged.
“K.”
Will got Max's attention, gestured to himself and Mike and pointed to the back door. She gave him a thumbs up and nodded, which they both took to mean, ‘𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘑𝘢𝘯𝘦.’ Will knew Max was thankful she wasn't responsible for Mike. She much preferred hanging out with anyone else.
The back patio was decorated with strings of lights and people were standing around drinking and laughing. They could still hear the music out here, but it was a little muted. Easier to have a conversation. Will led Mike down the steps and onto the grass where they could be alone and close to the ground. That way if Mike fell over again or had to puke, he could. The flat rocks around the flower bed at the edge of the yard made a perfect place for them to sit facing the patio so they'd see if one of their friends came looking for them.
“What's going on with you, man? Seriously.” Will sipped his wine, thankful he had something better tasting than beer.
“What? I can't have fun?” He chugged the rest of his beer and threw the can on the lawn, throwing his hands in the air like he won something. Will just laughed at him.
“Drinking's never been your idea of ‘𝘧𝘶𝘯’, Mike.”
Mike lowered his arms and looked at Will now for the second time in days.
“I needed it.”
“You needed to get smashed?” Will asked, puzzled.
“Yeah!” Mike sighed. “Had to make it shut up.”
“Make what shut up?”
“My head,” Mike answered, like it was common knowledge one could learn if one simply opened a book once in a while. He stared at the patio lights, not bothering to offer up any more information, but Will knew this was his only chance to push. Mike needed to speak what was on his mind and it seemed alcohol was the only way that was ever going to happen.
“Why won't your head shut up?”
“Cause… everything!” Mike gestured to the house in front of them, thinking that was a valid reason. Yet again, Will was puzzled.
“What does your head say?”
“Pffff! So much! All at the same time.” Mike watched his hand pass over the neatly trimmed grass, a fresh, green distraction right at his fingertips. Frustrated, Will changed tactics.
“My head does that sometimes, too. Just to torture me. Why is your head being so loud this week?”
“Cause you kissed me.” Mike said it like it was nothing, but his words slapped Will right in the face. Stunned, Will's heart beat faster as he stared at Mike.
“... 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵?”
“You were asleep and you kissed me. Right here.” Mike touched his finger to his neck just above his shirt collar on one side.
Will gasped as panic set in. It happened. One of his good dreams must've gotten through, which forced him to wonder if that was the 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 thing he did to Mike while he was asleep pressed against the man he loved. It all made sense. That's the only reason Mike would freak out enough to avoid Will all day every day for an entire week and he completely understood why. He's gay and Mike's not. His complicated friendship/unrequited love couldn't last. He'd always known. Then the realization set in that this was the end of Mike and Will. Mike was avoiding him because he wasn't comfortable being friends anymore and he didn't know how to tell him. He was going to pull away and leave Will all alone. Large tears welled up in Will's eyes and rolled easily down his cheeks. It was over. This was it. Mike would never want to see him again.
“And I liked it,” Mike added with a sigh, still seemingly enthralled with the grass below them. Will blinked, unsure if he heard what he thought he heard.
“You 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?”
“I liked it. I wanted you to do it again. Thought about it every day. Can't 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 thinking about it. Was nice.”
Will froze, staring at Mike as he played with the grass, unknowingly confessing to a week-long sexuality crisis initiated by Will's lips. Mike wasn't trying to end their friendship. It was the exact opposite problem, one which Will had prayed for. He was struggling with new thoughts - new thoughts 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭.
He had to remind himself to breathe. His hand clutched his drink on his knee, but it may as well have been left on Neptune, because it was completely forgotten. How the hell was he going to handle this? Did Mike want something more to happen between them? Was it pure curiosity or was it something more? Did he want to explore it? With any guy? Or just with Will? Could he handle experimenting with Mike if he knew there was a possibility Mike would change his mind? This confession opened up the biggest can of worms he'd ever seen. This might very well change everything, but, without more information, it seemed the chances it would end in disaster were about half and half.
“So 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 why you've been freaking out?” Will asked quietly, hoping Mike wouldn't snap out the alcohol fueled haze he was wrapped up in.
“Yeah.”
“I… 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 you… and you wanted me to…” Will swallowed around the lump in his throat and repeated what Mike said. “... Do it 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯?” Holding his breath, Will waited for Mike to confirm the summary of what he just confessed.
“Yeah, but you didn't.” Mike suddenly looked crushed, like all his hopes were lost. It was clear to Will that Mike was drowning in all kinds of feelings he didn't know how to handle.
“What did your mind say about it?” Will couldn't help prying. This situation involved him and it could get very messy 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 quickly. He desperately needed to know more to try to keep that from happening.
“Well, that I'm so 𝘯𝘰𝘵 straight like I thought I was cause it's super gay to get a boner when you think about your 𝘨𝘶𝘺 best friend.” Mike chuckled like they were talking about someone else, or some fictional character in a movie and Will had no idea how to process what he was hearing. Mike was really getting aroused at the mere 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 of him? At this point, he found himself again questioning reality like he did in his nightmares, only this time the situation was impossibly 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥.
“Uh… okay… What else?”
“That my dad is gonna 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“And that if I want to kiss you, I should just kiss you.”
Will coughed, unable to contain his shock. Mike wanted to 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 him?! This can't be happening.
“And that maybe I should throw up.” Mike turned away from Will, thankfully, and leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he puked up everything he drank that night. Will shook his head, trying to push these new revelations to the back of his mind to help Mike if he could.
“Uh, okay. That's fine.” Will set his cup down and rubbed Mike's back in calming circles until he sat up straight again, wavering like a flag in high winds.
𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
“You need this.” Will handed Mike the bottle of water he brought out for him and watched him open it, take a sip to swish his mouth out, and spit it in the grass before he drank it.
“Thanks, Will. You're the best.” Mike rested his head in his hand and wobbled, aching to lay down and sleep off his self-inflicted punishment.
𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
“I think we should go,” Will admitted.
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“Wait here. I'll get the others.” Will stood up, taking his cup with him, and headed back into the house.
𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
He had to look around a little, but it didn't take too long to find everyone out in the garage hanging out by the driveway while Lucas and Dustin took turns shooting a few baskets. He told them Mike both fell down and threw up, just as Dustin predicted, and needed to go home. He neglected, however, to mention Mike confessed to having sexual feelings for him. He would never tell them Mike's personal business, especially since he wasn't even sure Mike would remember telling him anyway. No reason to make it worse.
Will led them to the backyard where they found Mike asleep on the rocks lining the flower bed. Together they woke him up, avoided the vomit, and got him all the way to Dustin's mom's station wagon parked on the street. Jane sat in the front with Dustin, who was driving. Mike and Will sat in the back, and Max, who refused to sit next to “puke boy” climbed into the far back with Lucas where there were no actual seats. Mike was supposed to sit up in his seat, but instead, he laid his head on Will's lap and closed his eyes.
“We'll be home soon.” Will told him quietly, raking his fingers through Mike's hair. Mike hummed his approval and nuzzled against Will's thigh. On the drive, Will had enough time to go through everything Mike said about ten times. There was no other way to interpret it. Mike wanted to kiss him. He actually said those words. The question first on his mind now was whether or not Mike would remember his own confession? Unfortunately, he was afraid the answer was no.
Back at Mike's house, Will got him upstairs, had him brush his teeth and change clothes, then got him to lay down. That last bit was the easiest part. He'd been complaining about how incredibly tired he was since the second Will woke him up in Dustin's back seat when they arrived. Now that he was lying in his own bed, he was relatively happy. At least he was until he opened his eyes to see Will unrolling his sleeping bag on the floor. Thanks to Will's nightmares, he'd taken to sleeping in Mike's room every night, but Mike had grown irritated with pulling Will into his bed after every nightmare, so he insisted Will just sleep in his bed with him all the time. Will, however, assumed Mike would want or need his own space tonight, so he got out the sleeping bag without asking.
“Will, no. You'll have a nightmare. You know you sleep better up here. We both do.” Mike scooted back and lifted the blanket, inviting Will into his bed again, and, again, Will didn't have the heart to turn him down. He shut off the light and pushed the sleeping bag back under the bed. Carefully, he climbed into Mike's bed, lying down on his side facing the room instead of the love of his life. Mike refused to accept it and wrapped himself around Will, spooning him and taking a deep breath right next to his neck.
“G'night, Will,” he sighed, as if he were turning the lights out on the entire day.
“Goodnight, Mike.” Will laid there quietly, battling the urgent need to roll over and give Mike what he now knew Mike wanted, but he couldn't. Mike may not even remember saying those things. What if they weren't true anymore by the time he sobered up? What if they were never true? As he considered the probability the things Mike said might not be true, he felt the warmth of Mike's body heat seep through his shirt and absorb into his skin. His deep breaths became a metronome and Will couldn't keep his eyes open. The urge to stay awake all night worrying himself into a panic attack was strong, but nowhere near as strong as Mike's vibe of complete relaxation. Will mentally shelved those problems to review a thousand times the next day and let himself relax. He couldn't solve anything when he was that tired, so he closed his eyes and relaxed into the arms of his beloved, his paladin, his best friend and finally allowed himself to rest.