Work Text:
i will eat you alive, my deer, hissed the wolf.
and i will let you, dearest wolf, breathed the deer.
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at first, jimin thought loving yoongi was like loving a knife’s edge. cutting and quick, doomed to slice him open and leave him bleeding. he thought it would be balancing between blunt and dangerous. shining and enticing, gleaming with promises and protection but danger, danger, danger. yoongi treated him roughly, fucked him roughly, discarded him roughly. jimin thought he had been cut into shreds by yoongi’s harsh edge. he loved him anyway.
then jimin thought loving yoongi was like loving an ocean. he thought loving yoongi was like stepping out into an ocean, carefully, carefully until you’ve gone too far to go back and the sharks are circling and the seaweed is dragging you down and what was calm and peaceful becomes dark and deep and drowning. jimin thought he had drowned in yoongi. thought he had drowned in his love for yoongi. jimin knew he could not leave, he was already engulfed in yoongi’s ocean.
after a while, jimin thought that loving yoongi was like loving fear itself. jimin thought at first, this was because of how scared jimin was of his own love for yoongi. days passed and nights fled before jimin figured that the fear was not his own but yoongi’s. loving yoongi was loving fear – it was loving when he hid in bathrooms, loving the paranoia of people leaving, loving the constant looming failure hanging over yoongi was convinced was hanging over his head. it was loving despite the fact yoongi thought jimin was going to leave. yoongi treated him softly, like he would disappear in an instant, yoongi fucked him slowly and gently, yoongi would try to discourage any thought of leaving that might have polluted jimin’s mind. jimin loved him harder.
jimin realised, after months and months, that loving yoongi was everything. loving yoongi was loving a person – broken and battered but stubborn and determined. loving yoongi was all jimin needed. loving yoongi was loving an ocean and a desert all at once, loving yoongi was loving every tree in the forest, loving every ditch and every fruit. loving yoongi was loving a knife’s edge and loving yoongi was loving the gentle press of lips against a cheek. loving yoongi was loving fear itself and loving strength itself. loving yoongi was understanding he pushed instead of pulled, ran instead of stayed and would hide instead of showing. loving yoongi was jimin’s everything.
loving jimin was yoongi. loving jimin was yoongi’s mornings, yoongi’s afternoons, his evenings his nights. loving jimin was yoongi waking up every morning and remembering that soulmates existed. loving jimin was yoongi waking up and being given the strength to power through another day, loving jimin was holding a hand through fear. loving jimin was yoongi’s every heartbeat, every star in his sky, every word in his lyrics and every smile on his lips. loving jimin was a battle against every war yoongi faced. loving jimin was the gentle dismantling of every wall that yoongi had built to keep it all out - had built to keep everyone out, keep everything out. loving jimin was yoongi’s freedom.
i changed my mind, i will let a deer eat me alive instead, sobbed the wolf.
you are no wolf and i am no deer, he smiled softly, let us consume each other.