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“Color?” Jack checked in.
He did just the right amount of checking in. Jack was good like that. If he checked in too often, Robby thought he’d get annoyed with him or feel like he didn’t trust him to handle himself. But, on the flip side, he thought if Jack never checked in he’d probably feel like he didn’t care. He realized how crazy that sounded.
But no, Jack just somehow knew when to check in.
Maybe it was just him being a good Dom and knowing Robby enough to know when to see how he was doing.
Maybe Jack was just intuitive like that as a person.
Whatever the case, Robby appreciated it.
“Green,” he answered.
They had two days off in a row so they were using their first evening to play. That would give them time to rest and take it easy after if needed. They didn’t get to do this often because of schedules not aligning right. It had been a couple of months since they’d played and they both needed it.
Robby needed that loss of control. He needed Jack to take over. For just a little while, Robby needed to let go of responsibility and just be. He needed out of his head.
And Jack needed to give Robby that. It wasn’t about dominating in the sense that Jack would have power over Robby. No, Jack had this deep rooted desire to take care of Robby and meet his needs.
He and Jack had been making out for the last 20 or so minutes, taking their time and enjoying the simple intimacy of it. They were both hard, but neither was in a hurry to do anything about it.
Robby’s wrists were bound securely together with soft restraints, just one step in taking away some of the control from him. He was at Jack’s mercy if he needed anything.
Something about giving up that control was so soothing.
Jack pulled away and Robby whimpered, trying to chase his lips with his own. It earned him a huff of a laugh.
“You’re being so good for me, baby.”
Robby practically preened at the praise. He wanted to be good. He knew he could do it. To hear it said out loud was something special though. A confirmation.
“Are you ready?”
Robby nodded, but then immediately remembered that Jack would want a verbal response so he said “I’m ready.”
They were trying out a blindfold for the first time. Well, the first real time. They’d tested it out to see how Robby felt about it. He’d never had an interest so he’d never tried it before. But Jack had brought it up as something to try and he wasn’t against it. So they’d talked about how he felt about it and then practiced wearing it to see how he reacted.
He’d worn it for about 15 minutes while Jack did various things to his body as well as walking away from Robby for a couple of minutes to pretend to do things around the room while he left Robby alone before coming back.
Jack put the blindfold on Robby, loving and gentle and tender.
Robby’s world went dark. Everything narrowed to sound and touch. He felt the soft sheet under him. The soft restraints on his wrists. The blindfold over his eyes.
He heard Jack rustle around on the bed. The hum of the air conditioner running. His own heartbeat.
Suddenly, there were lips on his torso and he gasped and jerked in surprise. Jack paused and murmured “Okay, baby?”
Robby nervous laughed. “Yeah, just startled me.”
He felt Jack breathe against him, probably a soft breath of a laugh. And without conscious thought about it at all, Robby suddenly felt off.
He couldn’t see Jack. He couldn’t see the soft way he looked at him. He couldn’t see his intense hazel eyes. He couldn’t see or touch his perfect thick curls. He couldn’t see his freckles. He couldn’t see the smile on his face that showed Robby how much he loved him and how well he was doing and how proud he was.
And he didn’t like it. But it wasn’t just dislike. The first tendrils of panic wound their way through Robby like fire. He needed to see Jack.
He warred with himself as Jack rubbed and kissed over his body. Logically he knew he was safe. Jack would make sure of that. But somewhere deep down it didn’t matter. It felt wrong.
He tried to hold on for another minute or two. He wasn’t ignoring his body’s response, but he did want to see if it passed if he let himself get used to it. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions. Maybe he would relax the more they got into it. After all, he hadn’t been bothered by it when they’d tried it before.
But then he didn’t feel Jack either, and the panicked feeling took over.
The safeword came just as the shaking started.
“Red.”
It wasn’t shouted. It wasn’t said with tears or big emotion. It was just stated.
But Jack immediately responded.
The blindfold came off.
The restraints came off.
Robby saw Jack’s concerned face come into view as he continued to shake.
“Hey, baby. I’m right here. I got you. Can I hold you?” Jack checked, and Robby nodded.
“Okay, sweet boy. Okay,” Jack soothed as he gently took him in his arms. A particularly strong shiver wracked Robby’s body. “Shhh, it’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here.”
He wasn’t crying, but it wouldn’t take much to get him there. Jack continued to soothe and reassure in his soft, loving voice.
At some point, the shaking subsided and Jack asked “Do you need anything in particular from me right now, honey? Anything I can do for you?”
Robby shook his head against Jack’s chest before murmuring “Just this.”
“Okay, baby. This is where we’ll stay until you’re ready then.”
And Robby knew it was as simple as that. Jack would lay there holding him all night if that’s what it took.
“Can we talk while I hold you?” Jack asked.
“Okay,” Robby whispered.
Jack lifted his chin with his index finger and when he had eye contact, he cupped Robby’s cheek with his hand.
“Can you talk to me a little bit about what happened, honey? Thank you for using your safeword so that I would know you weren’t okay. But I want to make sure I understand what happened so that we don’t make the same mistake again.”
Gathering his thoughts, he continued looking into Jack’s eyes. Safety. Love. Zero judgment. A genuine need to know and understand and fix.
“I…” Robby pursed his lips. “I couldn’t see you.”
Jack continued to look at him without judgment despite the fact that Robby had just stated the obvious. Of course he couldn’t see him; he had been blindfolded.
“I think it’s a little confusing and jumbled for me too.” He finally admitted. “I don’t know if I know how to explain it other than it felt wrong. I needed to see you and I couldn’t.”
“You know what, baby. It doesn’t have to make sense. If your body felt unsafe for any reason, that’s all that matters. Full stop. Okay?”
Robby nodded.
“We’ll put the blindfold away. We’ll only ever re-visit the blindfold if you express a desire to try it again.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
Jack pressed a kiss to his head.
Robby looked up at him sheepishly. “Will you lay on top of me?”
Jack smiled softly. “You need some deep pressure, baby?”
Robby grinned, feeling shy, and nodded.
“Anything for you.”
Robby scooted around until he was on his back, and then Jack crawled over him and lay down fully on top of him. They were chest to chest, and Jack’s face was turned and pressed into Robby’s neck.
They didn’t do anything sexual because they didn’t feel a need to. It was about comfort and love and safety now.
They lay there quietly, Jack breathing into his neck and at some point Robby realized that Jack had fallen asleep on top of him. And warmth and love spread through his body at the feeling of knowing that Jack felt safe enough to fall asleep like this. That he could be vulnerable enough with Robby to fall asleep sprawled out on top of him.
The blindfold hadn’t felt right. Maybe it never would. Only time would tell if he’d want to play around with it again one day. But, this, this felt just right.