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Pomni watched as Jax unceremoniously flopped next to her on the bed. He was still holding on to the last shreds of the act. The nonchalance, the wide smile that never reached his eyes, and the flippant remarks that frosted over his dissociative state—his tool in masking the inner workings of his mind. It was all bullshit. She knew. She could read that man like the morning paper, much to his dismay.
Pomni sighed with halfhearted annoyance and put a hand under his arm. No matter how badly he wanted it, he couldn’t break through his air of indifference. Not until she initiated.
She pulled him into her lap, and his head went to rest on her chest, exactly where it belonged. He released the breath he was holding and it turned to a whimper, and he buried his face into the crook of her neck.
That day had been a particularly difficult one in the circus. It was early in the morning the adventure began, and stretched across the entire day. Pomni didn’t make it to the end. She felt she was handling it remarkably well, but Jax was kicking himself for it. If he hadn't left her by herself for just a moment, she wouldn't have… He cringed at the thought.
She wouldn’t have died. Alone and scared and injured. She hated dying so much. It scared her so badly. And it was his fault she got killed. If he hadn’t left her he wouldn’t have had to see what was left of her avatar, the way her bones were twisted at unsettling angles, and the blood—
Jax shuddered and a sob shook his body, causing him to squeeze his arms ever tighter around her waist. Pomni returned the embrace just as tightly.
“It’s okay, bun,” she spoke softly. “You're okay.”
He sniffled.
“Don't call me that.”
He protested, but his treacherous tail gave a feeble wag at the nickname, betraying the warmth it brought to his chest in spite of his distress. Pomni smiled and ran her hand through the fur on his back and shoulders, massaging circles there. A rumbling started from his chest that she could feel on her stomach. She smiled and her cheeks warmed. Being able to coax a purr from the depths of his chest always made her feel special. His ears flattened against his head and he turned his head away from her, but she caught it with her hand and gently tilted his face to look up at her again.
She cradled his face in her hands, circling her thumbs on the sides of his cheeks.
“Dont hide,” She murmured.
Jax's face flushed as he opened his mouth to respond, and nothing came out at all.
“You’re so sweet. I'm gonna eat you.” She giggled and pretended to take a big bite from the top of his head, like an apple.
“I'm gonna gobble you up!” Pomni exclaimed, another spell of giggles pouring out of her as she peppered the top of his head with kisses and obnoxious chomping noises. She then buried her face in the fur between his ears and hummed a content sigh into it.
His purring, now more reminiscent of a lawnmower than a bumblebee, stuttered as his face deepened a few shades more, settling into a warm violet. He couldn't keep his grip on the last shreds of his mask, not when she was peeling it off him. His pupils blew, leaving his mouth an almost invisible line. She scratched his chin and he pushed his whole head into her palm, seeking her touch.
“There's my sweet bunny.”
His pupils swelled, if that was even possible. They seemed to encompass the yellows of his eyes. His chest rumbled and he stared at her with unabashed adoration and not a single thought behind his eyes. At least, nothing intelligent. He would have felt embarrassed by his reaction, but Pomni had a way of making him feel so safe. She made him feel like he was something precious. She would reward him when he was vulnerable with her. She would shower him with praise when he was honest about his feelings. She would remind him how brave he was being when he would slowly, uncertainly, let her see all the raw and broken and ugly and hurting pieces of him. And even after he’d shown her all the reasons he couldn't be loved, she loved him anyway.
Jax lifted his head just a bit so his eyes were level with hers. He stared at her face. He wanted to kiss her so badly.
Instead he just looked at her, too unsure to move a muscle. She tilted her head to the side.
She knew exactly what he was thinking.
She smiled, and Jax wanted to bottle it up to savor forever. Unfortunately for him, she'd already let him off easy by initiating the contact. He had to set in motion anything else he wanted.
He took a breath. And another. One more to steady himself, and he leaned in to gently brush their lips together.
Her hand caught his cheek again and she held him there, letting the kiss linger an extra moment. She broke away and mumbled into his mouth–
“Good girl.”
Jax choked, stunned, and he would have been wheeling backwards if she hadn't pulled him back in for another kiss, this one deeper, keeping a firm grip on his overall straps.
He tried (failed, miserably) to will his tail to stop wagging. Pomni smiled against him and the warmth swelled in his chest.
Jax took a turn, parting just long enough to say it. What he'd been thinking for so long.
“I love you,” he breathed into the air. He halted at the admission. He felt her freeze as well. He couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes. He wasn't supposed to say that.
Shit. Now he'd gone and fucked up the first good thing to happen to him in god knows how long. Hell, he didn't deserve her in the first place. It always ended this way, a vulnerable moment and—
“I love you too.”
Well That certainly halted his spiral. He finally looked up into her eyes, glistening with emotion. Overwhelmed, he simply threw his full weight against her, sending them both sailing into the plush bedding as Pomni’s delighted, melodic laughter filled the room.
“I love you,” Pomni repeated, reveling in the way the words felt in her mouth.
Jax curled around her tightly, and they accompanied one another into a soft, serene slumber.