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Could she really do this?
Could she leave the tranquil life of Pabu behind for more war?
She had to admit, she was reluctant.
It sounded like a solid idea a few weeks ago. Seeing Echo come and go from Pabu only spurred her desire to help others around her. Even as Echo got older, he still helped in any way he could, and Omega was only inspired by this.
The Empire had taken so much from so many people…
Including herself.
She knew they needed to be dismantled.
So why did the thought of actually joining the rebellion make her tense up?
She tossed and turned against her mattress, listening to the distant sounds of her other brothers’ snores beyond her door. Could she really give all of this up? After all they have done for her to give her this peace?
But how selfish would it be of her to sit in peace while others drowned in ruin?
People had told her she earned it - earned every bit of relaxation life could give after what she went through in her younger years.
But there was a war waging just outside of Pabu’s borders. She was only a small part of a grand mission for the Empire.
Omega sighed then, her head spinning with endless thoughts.
Could she really do this?
She peered around her cozy room; lights adorning the ceiling’s edge, Lula perched on her nightstand table, posters and other keepsakes littering her walls.
She had made a life here, a normal life here.
Yet her soul could not rest.
With that, she tore her blankets off of her form, welcomed the slight breeze from her small window, and began to pace. Maybe then her body would start to pull her to sleep.
And so she waited.
And paced.
And paced some more.
Nothing.
Groaning lowly in frustration, she smacked her hands at her sides.
These racing thoughts needed to stop, and the only place she could think of was the cave.
Moving about her room, she threw on her shoes and a jacket before gently easing open her door. The last thing she wanted to do was wake anyone up, especially Hunter. His worrying has become decently tolerable as time passed, but he was still wary of the dangers that might present themselves. Getting caught sneaking out would only fuel his anxiety.
Tiptoeing around the hallways, she made sure to scan the darkness for any signs of movement. Crosshair sometimes couldn’t sleep at times either, and he usually holed up in the kitchen late at night.
However, she could not hear anything.
Memorizing the creaks in the floorboards long ago, she pivoted her feet to silently make her trek. She passed by Wrecker’s room, then Hunter’s, and finally Crosshair’s before a breath she didn’t realize she was holding escaped her mouth.
Making it outside was easier then. The door was thankfully silent as she eased it open, shutting it just as gently. Pabu’s cool air caressed her face, and she inhaled a deep breath.
Relocating on Pabu had been nothing short of a blessing. She had thanked Phee multiple times, and scanning over the now familiar landscape of the rolling houses on the hills, adorned lights, and distant sea, she wished to thank Phee once more.
Their house was on the lower sections of Pabu, and the cave was not too far off from here. As she walked down the cobblestone streets, she reminisced on her newfound childhood memories.
Right there she dosed Wrecker in water from what the locals called a “squirt gun”. Over there, she made Hunter try a vendor’s food that claimed it could make the customer “taste colors”. And there, her and Crosshair had played a strenuous game of hide and seek, and she finally was able to scare the ex-sniper by jumping out of her hiding place. When Echo visited, they always travelled to the local library where they discussed Echo’s endeavors further and researched anything she didn’t understand.
And Tech-
A sharp pang cause her to stop walking.
Tech was…gone.
He wasn’t here for any of those things.
Omega looked up then, realizing her shoes sunk a bit into the ground and the sound of waves became much more apparent.
She was here.
The cave opening was one her and Tech frequented, and she held it very dear to her heart. They never spoke of it, but it reminded them both of how they had a very important and heartfelt conversation in a cave similar to this one.
Which is why it brought Omega some comfort knowing that a familiar presence would be nearby.
She climbed up the rocky incline, the cold surfaces of the stones sending a slight shiver through her. Then, she ventured further, greeting the familiar pathway like the old friend it was.
She was glad she brought a jacket. The hot spring that sat underneath the pool of water used to keep the cave warm, yet it seemed the permanent parting of a certain visitor extinguished such renown warmth for good.
Finally, she saw it. The blue bioluminescence glittering off the cave walls, grazing the water's surface with a shimmering spectacle. She remembered the first time Tech found this cave. It was at night after a particularly grueling mission. Hunter had lost some of his patience with her, and Omega remembered storming off towards her room on the Marauder for the rest of the night. The next few days were tense, and Omega was more discouraged than anything. And just when she was considering giving up her cheery resolve, Tech swooped in.
He promised her some time out of the Marauder, away from Hunter and the others. And when he used the word "sight-seeing"? Omega couldn't resist.
Omega reached down and welcomed the water with her fingers, twirling them and watching the lights glow around her.
She remembered how Tech told her not to be scared, and that she could touch the water if she liked. She remembered how happy she sounded when the tinted pool engulfed her hand and gave her the feeling of absolute bliss. She remembered his smile, which to others might not look like one, but the slight uptick of his mouth testified otherwise.
Stars, she missed Tech.
With a sudden wave of emotion, she sat down heavily onto the stony shoreline, tucking her knees up into her now grown chest. Arms wrapped around her legs, she looked out into the vast blue.
It had been so long.
So long without him. She was starting to forget...
She choked a sob.
Started to forget what he looked like.
What his voice sounded like. And his touch.
And she cursed herself as she gripped her legs. Cursed her mind.
Tech is too important to forget.
Her breathing became heavy, chest constricting.
Don't forget him, she pleaded. Don't let him slip away.
Burying her face into her own cocoon, she let the tears escape.
How can I leave this place? Leave him behind too? I'm no better than...
A shaky exhale.
She glanced out into the pool again, and this time its song was different.
Don't slip away from us, Omega. It sang. Don't leave me.
Her eyes strained, vision becoming blurry.
What to do? Oh, what to do?
She needed Tech now more than ever, with his blunt explanations and facts. His consistent insistence on pro and con's lists.
She needed her brother.
Omega didn't know how long she sat there for, sending distant gazes to the pool and then hanging her head in guilt.
And shortly, she let the sound of waves and cold air whisk her to sleep.
~
Omega.
Her voice rang in her ears. The pond again.
Omega.
Stop it, she whispered, Leave me be.
I have missed you.
Omega sighed again, darkness still encapsulating her. It's been a while.
A shuffle next to her left.
Yes. It has.
She thought the pond had finally quieted, but the familiar voice continued its song.
You have a big day tomorrow.
She rubbed her knees absentmindedly.
You're troubled.
Huffing a humorless breath, she nodded.
Care to tell me what about?
A stray tear dribbled down her chin. It wouldn't help anyway.
It wouldn't hurt either.
She couldn't help the strangled sob that crawled up her chest. It will. It does hurt. All of it hurts.
Omega-
No! She shouted, hugging herself even more. Why can't the hurt ever go away? I need it to go away!
She needed it all to go away. The hurt of wrong choices, the hurt of loss, the hurt of past memories...
You are not alone.
No. She said, voice lower now. But I feel so lonely.
Omega let the tears stain her pants, let the tears fall to the cold ground. So cold. It was all so cold. This world was so cold. So-
Warm.
Her shoulder was warm, the touch featherlight but grounding all at the same time.
And she realized she could look up, look for the source.
So she turned to her left, and froze at the sight.
Tech sat next to her, right hand outstretched and making that warm contact with her.
It all came rushing back to her that she recoiled slightly from the contact in shock. Clarity shaped her muddled mind, and relief flooded in when she recognized the man before her. Tech, with those same googles, same brown eyes, and same neutral expression, one Omega knew hid the many feelings beneath the surface. But she couldn't.
"Why?-How?-" She rambled, ironically in front of Clone Force 99's infamous rambler. She would have laughed, but instead, her throat burned with unshed tears.
Tech shuffled, legs bent before him to match her, and he slowly removed his hand. The cold instantly seeped back in to take its place, yet the cave wasn't as biting as she remembered before.
Tech did that to people. How could places not follow?
Omega glanced at him hard, trailing his body for any injuries. When he had none, she sighed to herself.
This was a trick.
A cruel trick by the very pond itself, by the very cave.
Tech wasn't here. That wasn't Tech's hand, Tech's touch. That wasn't Tech awkwardly fiddling with his goggles and clearing his throat. Tech is dead. She watched him die. She felt his warmth leave that railcar, leave her heart. She had to mourn alone, adapt without him. He is gone-
"Omega-"
"No-" She choked out, trying and failing to act cautious. She couldn't make eye contact. That was not Tech, not Tech's voice. "Whatever this is-"
"I am here, Omega."
"Stop-"
"Omega-"
"YOU ARE NOT!" She shouted, thrusting her arms at her side and eying Tech. "You are not my brother. M-My brother is dead. My brother sacrificed himself." Omega's chest heaved. "Nothing can ever bring him back again. He is gone. Forever-" Her voice trailed off as she bundled back into herself again, cheeks now stained with hot tears. After all, that was what replaced Tech's warmth, reminded her what remained instead.
The silence trailed on for a while, the only sounds present was the lapping of the pond on the shoreline and Omega's sniffles.
Why was she here? This clearly wasn't helping her, and crying about Tech was not the solution she wanted.
With that, she grasped the stones beneath her and pushed up-
"I find solace here," Tech said behind her, causing her to pause her movements. "Not just on Pabu, but here."
Omega couldn't help but stay bound in her position, stuck between leaving this cursed nightmare or entertaining it. She would not look at him, though.
"This reminds me of you."
A shaky inhale was followed from behind her.
"I know what I did hurt you," Tech started, voice so quiet Omega had to strain to hear him. "But it was the only way."
Anger bubbled in her chest, so raw it would have startled her had she not used it as fuel. "The only way?" She whispered, shoulders shaking with tension as she stiffly turned. "The only way?!"
"I-"
"You have told me numerous times how there is always other options, other ways to solve a problem. You are-were the smartest person in the entire galaxy, and you couldn't think of another way out?!" Omega scoffed at the ground. "I don't buy it."
"If I could have done it differently, I would have." She heard him say, a slight wavering underlying his words. "I would have, Omega."
"You left us!" She shouted once more, voice echoing off the cave walls like a drum's after waves. "You left me," A hiccup disturbed her. "When I needed you most!" Unable to control her anger any longer, she picked up a pile of loose stones and hurled them into the water with all her might. Maybe, just maybe hurting the water would make this illusion disappear.
She waited.
And waited, not daring to check for herself.
"I am sorry."
Omega gulped.
It was not like she didn't want to see her brother, but she was far from that naive little girl on Kamino. People who are dead stay dead. Seeing them is not possible, feeling them like this is not possible. Logic, Tech had told her, is reliable, and can be used when emotions are frayed. Logic told her just enough to not trust the sight in front of her, so an apology from the very entity haunting her in the first place seemed redundant.
"You don't speak for him."
"But I do." Tech stated, that usual matter-of-fact tone making Omega wince.
She sighed then, not having the strength to argue again. "I didn't come here for this."
"I know. You came because you are overthinking." Tech said again, the sound of his goggles moving breaking his statement.
She kicked her toes a bit, making a few stones skitter into the pond. "I wasn't expecting..."
Him. Wasn't expecting him, or something of him, sitting here like this.
Tech made a confirming sound, and she felt his eyes lock onto her. "I am still glad you came, regardless."
With that, Omega felt all of her anger ripple out of her as fast as it came, making her body suddenly exhausted. She eased herself back into her spot some more, watching the blue lights dance their way across the walls. She wished she could be as carefree as that, follow a predetermined path the light and pond deem correct; right.
If only it were that simple.
"I...remember," Tech shuffled. "The day you first were introduced to us."
Omega stiffened again, letting the memory briefly flash in her mind. How long ago that was. She was so happy she finally found her squad, her family. She was elated when they came back for her.
The beginning of a long journey together.
However, a short story for one.
"You were very determined." He whispered, gaze glancing out towards the water. "I admired that about you."
The hole in Omega's chest tightened. It sounded like Tech, it felt like Tech. Oh, how she wanted it to be.
"You have not lost that."
She rubbed her pants, then her knees, then her arms. She felt like over these last few weeks that she had lost that. It wouldn't be the first thing she lost without word of warning.
More stray tears trickled out of Omega’s eyes, soaking the fabric of her clothes.
“I don’t think I can do it…” She trailed, voice cracking as she spoke more into her fabrics than anything else.
Omega could practically hear Tech’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Do what?”
”I can’t-“ She closed her hands tighter around her biceps, gulping. The words were on the tip of her tongue, yet they clawed and scrapped when trying to come out. “I can’t…”
Leave them. I can’t leave them.
A silence filled the space before Tech spoke. “I understand.”
Omega tilted her head a bit at that, watching Tech tap his fingers along his thighs - another habit he used to do.
”I understand the anxiety of leaving something or someone behind.”
Her eyes became solemn at that.
He left Kamino.
He left Crosshair.
He left Hunter before he got captured by the Empire.
He left Phee.
He left…them.
”But you mustn’t focus on it. You must adapt, and move on.” His voice wavered slightly, but Omega could partially see the resolve written on his face.
”That is what soldiers do.” Omega huffed, remembering their last cave talk.
”No.” Tech said, stronger than Omega was ready for. She finally, finally met him in his eyes, those googles she will never forget, and that gaze that held so much weight. “That is what brave people do.”
He reached out, hesitantly pausing mid-air before settling a hand on her left shoulder again. “That is what you do.”
Omega practically crumpled under his words, and Tech’s touch propelled her falling.
She shook her head vehemently, lips quivering. “I’m not brave, Tech.”
Tech hummed, lips turning into a downward frown. “I have never known you to be otherwise.”
She started shaking then, vision clouding into swirls of black and blue. And then, she thrusted herself forward, hugging into Tech’s side with the strength of a lonely sister.
And she felt him. Felt him, and there was no room for doubt.
This was no trick.
This was Tech.
Tech stiffened for a second, but then he gently moved his hand to her hair, weaving her blonde locks through his nimble fingers. She sobbed into his chest, the smells of oil, machinery, and faint wood accents filling her nose.
“I miss you, Tech.” Omega’s muffled voice cried. “I miss you so much.”
Tech’s breathing faltered, and he pulled her even closer to his body. “And I you, ad’ika.”
They sat like that for more time Omega could count, and she relished in the power of Tech’s presence.
Omega’s tears had calmed down, and they now became tiny sniffles once more that ripped across the open cave.
Tech’s voice almost startled her, but she leaned in closer to feel the vibrations move across his chest. “You will do more great things, Omega.”
She sighed into him before looking up at his face.
”There are people out there who need you.”
She felt her lip quivering again, and she quickly dived back into the safety of Tech’s embrace. “Hunter, Echo, Crosshair, and Wrecker need me…”
Tech nodded in agreement. “They will, but you will always be with them,” Tech gently grabbed Omega’s chin and pushed it up to meet his gaze. “As I will you.”
Another sob tore through Omega, but Tech’s stare caused her to remain looking at him. “You are not done spreading your light, Omega. Do not let fear stop you from gracing others with it, as you have done for all of us.”
Omega thought she stopped breathing at that. She knew how much of a challenge it could be for Tech to express his emotions in word format, so she gulped up every one. And she knew because of that that he meant them all. He felt as he needed to tell her them, and that alone sent Omega into another shaking fit.
Wobbling, she choked out, “I’m scared, Tech.”
His eyes became broken as he looked at her, mouth fumbling as he replied, “And that is completely acceptable,” He then resumed his hand on Omega’s back, drawing soothing circles in a slow pace. “But I will fly with you. You will never be alone.”
Omega couldn’t hold his gaze anymore, emotions overwhelming her as she dug even closer to Tech. He only repeated his sentiment. “Never again, ad’ika. Never alone.”
She let it all out soon after, cries of pain and sorrow coursing from her body. And Tech took them all.
She was still crying when Tech pushed her chin up again with two fingers, and she saw that he was crying too. Tears slid past his goggles, but he paid them no mind.
The sight alone would have brought Omega to her knees if she wasn’t already sitting.
”I-“ Tech started, swallowing before opening his mouth again. “I am so…proud of you, Omega.”
Her eyes widened, heart beat furiously now as those words starting to mend the pieces inside of her she received lashes to. Those words that were once seldom heard, but ones she desperately needed to hear.
And coming from Tech? They meant the whole galaxy.
He shakily inhaled. “Go fly, Omega. And go help others fly too.”
Fly.
Go fly.
Omega always wanted to fly.
Omega cried once more, letting the warmth radiate off of Tech and fill the hole inside of her. She knew then that she would fly. She would fly for Tech.
She don’t know when she fell back asleep, but it felt right doing so in her brother’s arms.
~
She jerked awake to the feeling of water touch her legs.
Skidding back against the rocks, she realized it was still dark out. She was still in the cave. The pond had touched her.
There was a moment where everything was muffled in her head, then, the memories came snapping back.
Tech.
Tech was here. With her.
She talked to Tech again, She felt his touch again, She heard his voice again.
That alone sent a hand shooting to her mouth, a short snivel sneaking out.
But she was so warm. Her heart felt so warm, and she felt much lighter than she had in a long time.
Tech is with her. He will always be.
Pushing off the ground on shaky legs, she graced the cave a longing look. She looked at the pond too, wondering if that extra twinkle of blue was just her imagination.
“Thank you.” She quietly said, not just to the cave, but to Tech too.
He was always so precise. How could he not be precise with knowing exactly when she needed him?
She would go. She would leave Pabu.
She would fly.
And as she took those first steps out of the cave, they weren’t as uncertain as before.
Because Tech was guiding her.
And Tech would fly with her once more.