chapter one ⋆ . ࿔ ˚

Hindi alam ni Martin kung anong mali ang ginawa niya sa past life niya para pagtaniman siya ni Juhoon ng napakalaking galit, pero kung ano man iyon, napakatanga naman ng past self niya para gawin ‘yon.

Nakatayo ito ngayon sa harap niya, nanlilisik ang mga mata at mukhang isang maling imik niya lang ay handa na siyang isumbong sa principal. Nasa school gymnasium sila ngayong weekend para mag-practice ng mga tutugtugin nilang kanta para sa Intramurals sa susunod na linggo.

Akala nilang lahat ay sila lang ang gumagamit ng building ngayong araw. Hindi pala.

They had set their instruments' volume almost to the maximum habang nagse-set up kanina. Excited na rin kasi silang mag-practice nang buo matapos ang ilang linggong puro kanya-kanyang ensayo. Hindi nila namalayan na ginagamit pala ng Radio Broadcasting team ang classroom sa tabi ng gym para kanilang project recording.

Kaya naman heto sila ngayon. Pinapagalitan.

"Kahit pa walang tao, it's still too much of a disturbance to play that loudly. Nandiyan ang mga admins and guards."

Napasandal si Juhoon sa pinto habang nakahalukipkip. Hindi ito sumisigaw, kaya mas nakakainis pakinggan. Iyong tipong kalmado magsalita pero ramdam mong jina-judge na buong pagkatao mo.

Sa totoo lang, ilang beses nang nagpaliwanag si Martin. Hindi naman nila sinasadya. Hindi rin nila alam na may ibang gumagamit ng building. Pero mukhang kahit anong paliwanag niya ay wala nang papasok sa isang tenga ni Juhoon.

Martin is already desperate, but looking at the way Juhoon was staring at him, all he could do was apologize. Behind him, narinig niya ang sabay-sabay na pagdaing ng mga ka-bandmates niya. Muli na naman kasing umatras si Martin. Pero wala naman siyang magagawa.

He had known Juhoon since Junior High School. Naging kaklase niya ito noong Grade 7. Tahimik ito, reserved, at halos hindi mo maririnig magsalita maliban na lang kung tinawag ng teacher. Madalas nga ay nakakalimutan ng mga kaklase nila na nasa classroom lang din ito.

Until they got to Grade 8 at biglang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin.

Juhoon started joining orgs left and right. Sumali ito sa Radio Broadcasting. Naging bahagi ng school paper. Nag-volunteer sa kung anu-anong school activities. It shocked most of their classmates, but impressed almost every teacher in campus dahil ika nga nila, sayang naman daw kasi ang potensyal ni Juhoon kung itatago lang nito.

The very same year Martin successfully joined the campus band as a vocalist, Juhoon became one of the anchors of the Radio Broadcasting team. Habang si Martin ay abala sa pag-aaral ng harmonies at paghabol sa rehearsals, si Juhoon naman ay nag-co-compete sa iba’t ibang press conference around their region.

By ninth grade, Juhoon became the school paper's Editor-in-Chief.

A lot of senior journalists hated that decision.

But, unfortunately for them, Juhoon was just that good. Kaya wala rin silang nagawa.

That was as far as Martin could recall.

Wala siyang maalalang pagkakataong kinupal niya si Juhoon. Wala rin siyang maalalang insidenteng nag-away sila. Sa katunayan, bandang Grade 8 ay nagpalipat na rin ito mula sa cream section papuntang STE class kaya mas lalo silang bihirang magkita.

Kaya hanggang ngayon, palaisipan pa rin kay Martin kung bakit parang personal na misyon ni Juhoon ang kontrahin siya sa tuwing magkakasalubong sila.

Juhoon, standing in front of him, finally seemed satisfied. Hindi man iyon halata sa mukha nito. Pero dahil inamin na ni Martin na istorbo nga sila, agad nitong tinawag si Seonghyeon, ang broadcast technician ng team. Tahimik naman itong sumunod.

Nang makalayo na ang dalawa, saka lang narinig ni Martin ang sama ng loob ng mga kasama niya.

"Grabe talaga 'yon."

"Kala mo may-ari ng school, e."

Napabuntong-hininga si Martin. May point naman kasi talaga si Juhoon.

"Hinaan niyo na lang volume niyo. Ikaw, Ryul, hinaan mo rin palo mo sa drums." Sabay-sabay silang napaungol.

"Par, sa'n ka nakakita ng practice ng banda na naka-low volume? Sana nag-Zoom meeting na lang tayo." Keonho asked, ang bassist nila.

Agad siyang pinitik ni Woojin, na kanilang keyboardist, sa noo. "Kahit anong lakas ng volume mo, hindi pa rin 'yan maririnig. Kupal."

Nagtawanan agad ang lahat. Pati si James, na tahimik lang kanina habang nakaupo sa amplifier niya, ay napailing na lang.

"May point naman siya." He countered kaya mas lumakas pa ang tawanan.

Martin clicked his tongue. "Tama na nga. Mag-practice na tayo."

Sinigurado muna niyang nakababa na ang volume ng bawat instrument bago bumalik sa kani-kanilang pwesto ang lahat.
Ryul spun one of his drumsticks between his fingers before tapping both sticks together.

One.

Two.

Three.

Kasabay ng huling bilang ay nagsimula silang tumugtog.
The familiar guitar riff filled his ears, mas mahina na nga lang ito kumpara kanina.

Martin adjusted his grip on the microphone before singing the first verse of Suzie Chapstick.

His eyes slowly closed.

Will I ever see your face again?

Not just photos from an Instagram

Will you say hello from across the street?

From a place and time we used to meet

Sometimes everything just grows apart

Broken pieces from a busted heart

Not even the drugs seem to work

Living in the shadows where we lurk

The moment the music settled around him, everything else faded into the background. The awkward encounter with Juhoon. The complaints from his bandmates. Even the embarrassment from getting called out.

For a few minutes, it was just him and the song.

Then he felt it, that strange feeling. Like someone was watching him. Bahagya siyang napakunot-noo, though, hindi niya iminulat ang kaniyang mga mata.

Maybe it’s one of his bandmates, maybe a teacher passing by. Or maybe—

His train of thought immediately stopped.

It's not like Juhoon would secretly stay behind just to watch him perform.

Impossible.