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BEEP. BEEP.BEEP.BEE-
A while ago, she had commissioned Aino to build her something that would “help me wake up earlier without having to sleep early.” and after many simplifications and schematics, the ingenious design of an alarm clock came to rest atop of the drawers by her bedside.
Today was the only day she regretted that purchase.
“Darn it… worse than yesterday.”
Nothing like a curse to start the day, she thought. Only to double over in pain after even thinking proved to be painful. It was as if someone was driving up a nail that had lost its sharpness between her brows, and it got worse with each step she took towards her desk, where she kept the medicine.
Nefer began rummaging through each compartment without looking, now unable to even look down due to a stiff neck.
-“Am I that old already? A bit of bad sleep and I feel like I fell from a rooftop.” She jested, speaking out loud for the first time today
A sore throat. Her body’s way of telling her a cold was coming.
Those 20 seconds of search, along with the breath she just spent lamenting her condition soon proved to be fruitless when her bottle of painkillers was already empty.
“Jahoda. She must have taken them after that commission she botched. When I find her I’ll-”
Her employee was away for the past week, on her vacation. Out in Fontaine.
The gears of her mind began spinning, screeching with every dot she connected in the form of that migraine.
And yet, the part that wounded her the most was how long it took her to figure out that she had taken all of the pills over the course of this week.
With that, her entire body froze in pain, the current of how much she had done the past couple of months, how little she had rested and for how long the headaches and muscle pain had persisted.
Must have been three weeks by now, after she wrapped up the return plan for all the people that were evacuated following ll Dottorer’s ascent and eventual downfall.
Now, a boiling anguish, matching the pain she was in drove her over the edge.
Something about the events of the past half-year or so, along with her current physical and mental state lowered her guard enough to invoke a name she had been doing her best to keep away from her mind
“I have to call Lauma-”
THUD.
—---------------------------------------
Perhaps only the light of the sun that baked one half of her exposed body, the porcelain she knocked over herself that miraculously didn’t cut any vital parts and the hundreds of books she kept at her office would know how long she spent lying on the ground.
Fortunately, her employee had to make a quick return to Nod-Krai after scorching her budget in sweets, clothing and souvenirs for her friends.
Jahoda found her before the mid-day sun could do her even worse, and yet the sight wasn’t any less distressing.
By this point, the poor girl had seen her boss and mentor be bound, choked and almost having her eyes gashed by the Racher of Solnari. Thus, seeing Nefer on the ground stiff, bloodied and dusted in shrapnel was a sight that would haunt her for the following years.
Jahoda, ever the fleet-footed, traversed through the fear and uncertainty that Nefer's lack of response carried, ultimately dropping her unto the bed, invading the quarters she had been barred from the moment she began working at the Curatorium.
But who could help? The Traveler and Paimon had left for the north a while ago, and none of her acquaintances, as well intentioned as they might be, could hope to know how to restore her boss back to health.
To make matters worse, none of her friends from the streets would try and help without trying to keep on a favor from the head of the Curatorium at the bare minimum.
“Lauma-” she yelled, looking at the ceremonial blade the moonchanter had given Nefer as an offering of peace and apology for roping her into the entire ordeal with protecting columbina and oh so much more she ended up doing.
Then, she made a break for it, jumping on top of the rooftops of Nasha Town with her Anemo vision, soaring through the entire complex of the craftshop in a single jump, scaring off the animals until she reached the Frostmoon Enclave, leaning into the statue of the new moon to catch her breath.
…before jumping again, scaring the children and elderly who were chattering away beneath her, until she crashed into the new library, scattering the present devotees.
“H-hey, you! Do you know where Lauma is?
She hollered at Ehrnroot, a priestess that had been tasked with organizing the library, who let out a scream upon seeing Jahoda who had just crashed into the enclave without warning, believing the treasure hoarders were trying to breach into their home.
Jahoda, seeing no immediate response, allowed the worry to get the best of her.
“Where is she!?”
Out of fear, Ehrnroot blurted out with a meek whisper.
“she-she’swithkuutar…”
“Columbina. That’s where she must be! Thanks a lot!”
She replied innocently, smiling and scratching her head before taking off again, knocking a few books on the way up.
A neat trick, she picked up from the Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius. Jumping and softening one’s fall with Anemo. Ever since, Jahoda had been using it non-stop to get where she needed to be
But right as she was about to reach the cave where Columbina and Lauma (probably) were, all her momentum was lost mid air, almost ripping her skeleton away from her flesh.
It was familiar how Lauma, in that very spot Jahoda was now harshly suspended, had detained with gentleness the fall of the moon goddess with this exact same power, right after their first encounter with Rerir.
-“The animals told me of the ruckus you caused on your way here, Jahoda.”
-“So tell me, why is it that you come here, intimidate my people to get information on my whereabouts, and hunt me down like a wild animal?
Lauma spoke, her voice commanding and filled with barely repressed, sincere annoyance and frustration at her. Columbina, by her side watching intently, smiling as she hummed a distant, unfamiliar tune
Jahoda, still reeling from the sudden stop, barely squealed, the exhaustion from running around forcibly settling into her body, even when the adrenaline hadn’t dissipated just yet.
“Nefer… you need to help her…”
With that, the moonchanter’s face changed, forcibly lowering Jahoda again, immediately realizing how much she was constricting the girl.
“Oh, sorry. I’ll let go of you now.”
Lauma released Jahoda, who was gasping for air beneath her.
-“L-Lauma huff I came back from my trip just today and when I entered the Curatorium Nefer wasunconsciousand huff”
“Nefer was what? Please, just slow down and take your time.”
Lauma's cluelessness and her own temper gave Jahoda a second wind that she used to spell out what she needed clearly, just like Nefer had taught her not to do.
-“She was unconscious! There’s no time to lose! You need to use your magic blood to help her!”
Of course, that explains her haste. How could I be so dense? Jahoda wouldn’t change in here like that without a good reason.
-“Well, you know now, let’s move!”
Jahoda took off again, knowing Lauma would follow soon after.
-“I apologize, Columbina, but I’ll have to return later.”
-“It 's okay. Could you bring some fruit on the way back? The kuuhenki wanted to try some new colors for their painting.” Columbina answered, clearly untethered to the whole situation.
-“…Sure.”
Lauma then ran off in her deer form, quickly catching up with Jahoda, who had barely made it out of Hiisi Island.
After some seconds of silence that were enough for both of them to reach the outskirts of Nasha Town, Lauma spoke to Jahoda again.
-“How bad was it? Did you check her vitals?”
-“I- what? I carried her to her bed, then I ran for you”
-“Was she even breathing?”
-”I… didn’t check that either…”
Lauma rolled her eyes in a way that Jahoda felt as uncharacteristically natural for someone of her status.
Minutes later, they arrived at the Curatorium.
While Lauma entered in a haste, evaluating the place and what must have gone down leading up to the moment Nefer fell, Jahoda directly crashed through the door and was dragged by her own rush all the way to Nefer's desk, almost hitting her head on it.
“She’s in her room…”
“And where is that?
“I thought you knew… ugh…”
And with that, it was lights out for two of the three employees of the Curatorium of secrets.
Lauma peeked into the room next to the counter, seeing Nefer in bed and Ashru napping by her bedside. After checking if she was breathing, which thankfully she was, she closed the door to the Curatorium for the day and gently placed Jahoda on the sofa.
Make that three, for employees that were out of commission today.
—------------------------------------------
The light that crept through Nefer's window slowly made its way inside her eyelids, parting them little by little.
This slow drag and the open door to her bedroom suddenly became a mocking visage when she realized it was the afternoon sun that was dazzling her, prompting her to try and stand up quickly.
But, a hand immediately held itself against her sternum, pushing her back into the bed without much effort, given her condition.
It felt like someone had placed a million bricks on top of each and every one of her muscles, all of them buzzing at the same time.
Nefer felt numb, but she had stood up from worse things before, or so she believed at the moment.
The hand, prepared this time, just held itself in place, blocking her yet again from fully assessing her environment, just like a paperweight.
“Please stay still, and don’t make me tie you to the bed.”
Once again, the thing that infuriated her the most about this development was how long it took her to realize she was not alone in the room, and not the fact that she was in bed by evening. Although that infuriated her too-
Lauma? What is she doing here? Did the gods listen to my last words?
These thoughts rushed to her temple again, bringing a migraine with them. The implications that the moonchanter, her ex’s presence in her room carried, they all began to tear her mind at the seams again. If she could muster the strength, she would cover her eyes, maybe go as far as threatening her to-
-“How are you feeling, Nefer?”
-“I don’t feel anything at all…”
Lauma's eyes raked over the woman in bed with trained measure, stilling her gaze to avoid any unsolicited attention, given the current situation the two women were in.
“That sounds good. I’d hate for you to be in pain at this moment, given your wounds.”
Something unraveled in Nefer's chest. What initially felt like just guilt for answering her concern with thoughts of violence quickly soured into shame for everything about their past relationship
It was only Lauma, whose endless compassion and gentle demeanor could get Nefer to think less about herself, more specifically, about what she could offer in the form of her skills, intel or connections.
It was only her who could push her to take care of herself and others, to be kinder and more considerate of her own time and well-being. Their well-being.
But, after no less of two years together, Lauma had grown tired of pushing her significant other away from self immolation, while Nefer, on a particularly harsh night for her, manifested how their relationship was a weak link in her business and something that had gone from tethering her to safety to a restricting bond that was holding her back.
Granted, they were both young, and had shown each other some of their worst traits heightened to the max by the moment they found each other in. But the words that Nefer said that final night left a deep cut into Lauma's heart.
Time moved along, and they both thrived in their respective roles, settling them into adulthood, until, nearly 8 years later, Nefer's habit of overworking herself brought them to be in the same space together, by themselves, again.
This entire epoch flashed across her emerald eyes in a single second, right when she found the strength to look at the moonchanter’s eyes, which were now scanning the cut in her left thigh, checking for leaking in the bandage.
“Lauma, I-”
“Stay quiet. Your throat must be parched.”
It was embarrassing how well she knew of her worst habits. For all her time in the desert, Nod-Krai’s cold weather was enough to keep Nefer fresh. So much so that she would spend hours without any liquid, not feeling the thirst.
Lauma stood up and left to get some water. Nefer, far less self-contained, used the image of her curvy figure being framed by the sun as a means to soothe the ache in her body.
This quickly proved to be a bad idea, for that moment of self-indulgence opened the door for the grief that Lauma's absence had left that she hadn’t fully digested all those years ago to resurface again, matching the pain of her body, and perhaps leaving her in a worse condition than when she woke up.
In spite of the stiffness in her neck, Nefer made an effort to look around the room and assess the situation to distract herself like she always did.
She clearly hadn’t learned her lesson, now feeling self pity for how lifeless and sterile the place looked. More regrets piled into her chest as she looked around further. How she, even as a Dendro Vision wielder, managed to kill off many plants she even had imported from the desert. How for all the incense she burned when she wanted to “unwind”, the room still had a stale humor, making it feel off-putting all around.
Her mind went to her father, to the moment she left to build an elysium of her own making, and all the hurt that her ambition left in its wake. Not even her own self-affirmation could stop the turbulence that was washing over her consciousness.
It was all too much. The tears, the silent wailing and gnashing of teeth that those memoirs brought to her.
Nefer was helplessly spiraling out in her own bed. A torrid influx of half-digested feelings all standing in line, pushing each other around with the purpose of finally being acknowledged and felt after months, perhaps years of lingering around in the back of her mind.
Just as exhaustion was about to claim her again, her heart was set ablaze when she saw the ceremonial blade resting at her nightstand. A clear warning after the recent events, Nefer thought.
“As a Frostmoon Scion, you have my thanks. But as Lauma, you are forbidden to come close to me again, lest you want me to cut you off entirely.”
That’s the meaning Nefer had given to the blade, the one dragging her to the deepest depths of her regret as their entire story unfolded in front of her teary, swollen eyes. That story, unknown to her friends, who saw their playful bickering and knew better than to pry. All of it was ripping her heart apart once more.
She couldn’t bring herself to not fall apart any further. Ever since that fall out, she had devoted herself to labor. She grew into a fearsome person, a force of nature that watched over Nod-Krai with a possessiveness that came from a place of sincere fondness and concern, always a hair’s breadth away from swallowing it all for herself.
But her mind couldn’t keep up with her. The lies and the fear of losing her sharpness, they all fell apart and brought the birthplace of that turmoil forth. She was afraid of failure, and everything that would be taken from her if she lost her grip for even a single second.
The truth was that she longed to atone for her “sin", the words that ended her past relationship with Lauma by working tirelessly to make Nod-Krai a safe place for her and everyone else in it.
…And how contradictory this was in the wake of her own aspirations when she arrived first, as well as the wishes the moonchanter had shared with her before departing.
“I want you to be safe and healthy, Nefer. To let go of that strife that pushes you forward, and that you may find a better, more noble way to conduct yourself in my absence.”
And she did. She was a reputable figure that helped everyone without reservation. She had corrected much injustice across the land, she brought truth and safety to it out of the goodness of her heart. Hell, she even opened the doors to have an employee that was slowly growing into someone that would surpass her one day. A far cry from the isolation she had felt like her home in the past. A longing for loneliness and harshness she had barely left behind before Jahoda’s arrival to her life.
But none of it would matter to her nearly as much with the knowledge that the moonchanter, even if she saw this change in her heart, would never return to her side. She could save the world again, maybe even eradicate the Fatui by herself and present the burnt emblem of the Pale Star to Lauma, and that wouldn’t be enough to win her heart back again.
She could only weep. Deep, oh so deep.
—-------------------------------------------------
Lauma returned a little while later, tumbling between excuses for her tardiness as a means of hiding her reprimands due to the lack of food Nefer kept in her domicile.
Nefer, on the contrary, wanted nothing but to finally give Lauma the honesty she had asked for many years ago, feeling powerless to even speak.
-“Here, I brought you fresh water.”
The moonchanter held her head and assisted her drinking, gently pressing Nefer's cracked lips against the glass. The water flowed down into her body, mending her throat in the process.
And yet, the greatest relief came from feeling her touch once again. Those calloused and scarred hands holding her nape made her feel like she could stand up again and hold her closer.
Lauma slowly settled Nefer again, helping her lie on her back, until she was now again alone and deprived of any stimuli but her own labored breathing.
-“I will now ask you some yes or no questions. One blink for yes, two for no. Please, be honest with me this time.”
Nefer gulped, then blinked once.
-“Have you been sleeping well?”
blink blink.
-“Ok. Are you still numb?”
blink blink.
-“Are you in physical pain? Aside from the muscle stiffness? By that I mean your wounds.”
blink.
“Alright. Do you want me to tell you what happened to you?”
blink.
-“Ehem. Just today, you collapsed near the reception. You knocked over a vase, which gave you a pretty bad cut in your left thigh, as well as some minor ones on your left arm and across your back.”
With each statement, Nefer's body began to wake up. She could feel the bandaging and stitches Lauma must’ve sewn over the gash. Lying on her back didn’t feel as comfortable now with the raw skin rubbing against the sheets.
-“You hit your head badly, and you got a slight sunstroke. Your right eye is red, and so is the exposed skin in the parts that the sun hit.”
Nefer finally found the strength to talk, gathering her bearings to-
–“But, that’s just today. I’m convinced this… collapse was long overdue.”
Lauma finally said something remotely harsh, something that resembled a desire to see Nefer down, something that wounded her just right.
She didn’t mean it like that. But seeing Lauma now, willing to stand her ground and express her true thoughts and feelings made her feel strangely proud of their development. Had she not left, she wouldn’t be this open, and even if she was, it would be in spite of her, not because of.
Or so Nefer assumed, once again.
–“You haven’t properly rested for what I can only guess has been months now. On top of that, you’ve buried yourself with work following our last moment of cooperation. You’ve thoroughly neglected yourself and this is the price you’re paying. I would definitely know.”
–“Jahoda told me to use my ‘magic blood’ on you. Last time I did, it was a life-or-death situation. Now, you have two choices. I can restore you back to health for the most part with it.”
“Or we can settle this like adults, and you will tell me why you pushed yourself as hard as you did. Because I refuse to believe the Nefer I know hasn’t improved at least one bit in taking care of herself. No business to run if there’s no one at the counter.”
The vulnerability in Nefer's gaze gave Lauma the answer she was seeking, but maybe not expecting.
Nevertheless, she spoke again.
“One blink for the first option, two for the second.”
blink.
—-----------------------------------------------
That night, the winds at Hiisi Island were howling. A fitting foreground to the storm brewing in Lauma's heart.
She arrived at the Enclave in silence, half-heartedly greeting the present elders for the first time in her life.
Beneath her poised and mystical exterior, an unrelenting fury and disdain for everything the moon illuminated was flowing through her veins. She cursed everything. Her horns and how she didn’t ask for them or their size when the moon shone to begin with. The ignorance of her people to the truth that lied beyond the false firmament, and her foolish heart, how she gave parts of it to that woman, and how she chewed those chunks of her flesh and spat them back with both their blood, as if sharing her feel was something either of them could take for granted.
Her train of thought was interrupted when the wind suddenly carried bitter notes of burning coal. Soon after, the animals gathered around her, warning her about the coming of humans with strange machines.
That was the night when the first filament of metal was erected on top of the moon fragment to the north, in Paha isle. The first operational night of the Kuuvakhi Experimental Design Bureau. And the first order was to seize resources from the Frostmoon Scions. Anything rich in Kuuvakhi was absolutely essential to the Fatui’s efforts.
The stories divulged the following weeks spoke of the moonchanter rallying the animals together to drive away the invaders, calling forth snakes and even those creatures twisted by moonlight, all in unison against the Fatuus that had threatened their home.
These tales were stretched and distorted as they traveled from ear to ear, gaining the moonchanter some new-found fear and respect from the inhabitants of Nasha Town. They had stopped, even if just for a while, to see her as naught but a frail maiden representing a naive company with teachings that were anachronistic and unfitting of the Nod-Krai of today, to a true force of nature that could command an army, no, armies that existed everywhere and saw everything everyone did, whether it was in their homes or the wilderness where many atrocities were committed with the now-nebulous confidence that there would be no witnesses.
And yet, for all the mystic reality lacks compared to those tall tales, what had gone down at the beaches of Hiisi Island that night wasn’t any less unbelievable.
The roiling vengeance she unleashed on the company that was sent to extract resources would only remain between those soldiers and Lauma herself, who had diverted the animals away from the machinery under the guise of speaking with them.
There, she fought as herself and for her own sake, indulging in the pain she inflicted towards those soldiers.
Her moves held no grace, and her centaur form lost all its luster even when she stood above the beaten up bodies of the commanders, whom she had dragged from their boats one by one, rounding them up and exposing them to the cold of the night, the only source of warmth being the sting her fists brought to their bodies.
It was an unexplored, yet not unknown side of her. She knew of this thrashing fury, and how easy it would be to just give into it. Alongside many other “flaws” a leader like her could manifest, she buried that feeling deep within her mind.
A cheap shot from a novice soldier grazed her shoulder. With what little composure had resurfaced, she swiftly weaved outside of the bullets’ trajectories, closing the gap in seconds and grabbing the man’s head with both her hands, raising him into the air.
Then, a desperate kick to her stomach pushed her over the edge. Her face contorted into a deep frown. Those piercing, turquoise eyes now locked into the soldier’s mask, trying to reach his eyes through it.
Slowly, she began to sink her thumbs into the visor, until she could feel the sweat, the tears, and a slight draw of blood now painting her fingers and palms red.
A breeze startled her, passing idly and blowing by the wound in her shoulder, diverting her attention away from the carnage for a second.
The view was gorgeous and grim at the same time. Before her, Nasha Town began to wake up, with the moon falling out of view behind the buildings. The stars, as fake as they were, still lit up the fading night sky, stretching their rays of light towards her, daring her to transcend their brilliance.
But under her nose, only fear and half-dead men accompanied her.
When she slowed down, her eyes averted the wounded out of pity, fixating themselves back into Nasha Town. From there, the modest but visible apartment that was the Curatorium of Secrets back then began to light up before the rays of sunlight could reach the building it was a part of.
Lauma, with a cold and resigned expression, allowed herself to think back to Nefer again. But her brain couldn’t salvage any of the moments she wanted her mind to show right now. All of the rare, honest smiles from her. The times they cuddled together and how tightly the other woman held her, unwilling to admit how sharp the cold felt in her bones. The first time they both were able to go to a party and dance without anyone caring who they were. They were nobodies to the land when they met, after all.
It was all tainted now. Outweighed by everything they didn’t get to say to each other, by those words as the parting shot that severed their bond.
With her gaze back on the floor, one final question crossed her mind.
“Is this what Nefer does for a living, then?”
The proposition kept spinning around her head, messing with all the memories and what little life she believed to owe Nefer, until the only thing left was a seething disdain for her.
The days turned to years, and with that, the feelings and memories about her began to err. The things she learned that night, some stuck with her and became part of the Moonchanter, as well as the woman that was almost crushed beneath that title. Some others disappeared with the tears she shed, becoming part of the morning dew of the next day.
She became a far more active person, more assertive and steadfast when it came to placing limits to any outsiders, watching over her flock like a hawk.
That harmful intent faded with time, and disappeared almost entirely when she was able to express her displeasement with any given situation, even if it began with a small scoff or a subtle eyeroll, only to turn themselves into transparency with any given state of affairs. Those adjustments in her behavior, small as they might have seemed, gave way to some of her best traits as a leader and perhaps the reason the Scions remained afloat even with the slow escalation of Fatui attacks.
Lauma, by the time she was 23, did what no other moonchanter had been able to accomplish. She introduced herself into the social ecosystem of Nod-Krai, garnering the respect and affection of some of the inhabitants of Nasha Town, even allowing outsiders of non-hyperborean descent to embrace the Frostmoon Scions like a family of their own, granting many errant souls a home and a safety net that, thanks to her, would be more sincere and steady than anything the now reputable “Lady Nefer” could hope to offer.
Of course, this took a lot of unpacking and emotional heavy lifting on her end, with the entire fauna of Nod-Krai as her only confidants during those times.
For one, it took her 5 entire years to return to Hiisi Island in person without fearing running into Nefer.
Second, and this is not something she would ever be willing to admit, many of the small body language gestures that set the changes that made her into a competent and healthy moonchanter in motion came from her time shared with Nefer, the many dreams of them both and the encounters with dangerous fauna she found cute, inevitably returning back to the contrail Nefer had left in her life.
Thirdly, the animals, in return for their time listening to her, shared with her every stumble Nefer faced when trying to conduct her business, both metaphorical and literal, always against her will. It wasn’t until some time that the endless yapping about the “snake woman that poisoned you” ran dry, since Nefer saw more and more success with the years, oftentimes not having to get her hands as dirty as she used to back then. Of course, Lauma never heard of this.
Maybe that’s where their tragedy had woven itself into. The fact that they would never get as close to each other and get to know the women they became, let alone how much of those new selves were born into the world thanks to each other.
And finally, as a superfluous fact to everyone but her, Lauma learned to make her own clothing, learning beyond the basic skills of sewing back torn fabric and patching other people’s clothes. This culminated into a project that would later become a symbol of her individuality within the frostmoon scions, her dress. It was thanks to the effort and the generous outsourcing of the animals and some merchants that she managed to create something of her own and entirely self indulgent, that she felt brought her closer to the environment, as well as her own self.
Anything that reassured her of her choices and drove her away from the wickedness she had seen in her former lover, as well as the many thieves and crooks that resided in the land was welcome in her heart. She grafted that rejection into it, striving for doing things without a lick of deceit or self-interest.
And that’s how she’s carried herself ever since. Until fate, in the form of a golden-haired traveler brought them, and all of Nod-Krai back together.
It was comforting, in a strange way, how easy and familiar it felt to verbally spar again with Nefer, to push her buttons, even if they had grown into places that were harder to reach for anyone else but her.
But more than anything, to show each other the lives and the worlds they had nurtured for their own selves, even if they were still a mess behind the scenes.
Caring didn’t hurt anymore, because that behavior had been extinguished a long time ago. Or so Lauma believed.
It took the power of a god from a foreign land to confront her with her own beliefs about Nefer. After the chess set dragged them into that space within Nefer’s mind, Lauma, Jahoda and the traveler, they all saw Nefer's entire life from start to finish.
She got to see and experience in an otherwise impossible way just how harsh life had been with Nefer from the moment she was born.
It was a unique opportunity to empathize with her, being plunged as a passenger in her life. Each second they spent there was an arrow against those feelings she had harbored since that night, and by the time they reached the end, Lauma couldn’t bring herself to resent Nefer's way of being any longer.
Now, caring hurt once more. She was just a child who had every reason to raze everything in her way to be where she had been the past 8 years, and that in the few weeks of their re-encounter, had shown herself to be someone capable of kindness and concern towards the people around her in spite of everything the world had thrown at her, even if she deflected any accusation of having a good heart.
It got to a point where Lauma, even if she hid it dutifully, felt a concern for her that surpassed the one she felt for other people. And it hurt, to feel so deeply for just one person after years of giving her heart to everyone.
Nostalgia, that’s the word she was looking for. With none of the bitterness to stand between her and the routines of the past, Lauma did her best to aid Nefer in the ways she knew and had grown to learn how, now giving her the space to think and act, and being rewarded with getting to see the strong sense of self-preservation Nefer now had for herself.
Of course, this didn’t stop Rerir from trying to blind Nefer, whose growth had rewarded her with another chance to gaze at the world in the form of that silver blood Lauma carried and administered the moment the threat was eradicated.
This act of service felt different from the times Nefer had returned to her late at night, reeking of blood from both herself and her enemies. Lauma, of course, helped her with any wounds and cuts, even if each subsequent night those piled up.
It was more personal, as a sacrifice Lauma made for them both.
It was far easier than she had anticipated, since she didn’t hesitate to do it at the moment, and Nefer didn’t confront her about having such a valuable resource running through her veins at all times, which the old version of her surely would’ve done.
But more than anything, it felt…
Honest. For the first time.
—--------------------------
blink.
Lauma stood there stunned for half a second before speaking again.
–“Good. Jahoda and I will help you recover, and then we’ll talk.”
The weeks that followed felt slow for Nefer, who had been forbidden from taking any commissions until she reached certain goals that were outside of her control, as a means of keeping her safe from herself.
In practice, this wouldn’t have worked in any other circumstance, but this was a connection Nefer was not willing to lose.
Slowly, she allowed herself to slip her fingers off the helm, letting Jahoda run her errands and take smaller cases, in the interest of not halting their operation entirely.
Lauma dropped by two times a week, checking on her recovery and making sure she wasn’t working again, with Ashru as her inner contact, with whom she double checked if Nefer was telling the truth about her rest, or where she had been when she came out.
The biggest delight was how their tranquil had ceased to be fully co-dependant. Nefer took care of herself not just for Lauma's sake, but for her own as well. Her health was no longer a price to pay for her kindness, but a thing she truly valued.
And that was far more than Lauma could’ve asked for.
Exactly a month and two days from the collapse, on a Friday night, a gentle knock reverberated at the Curatorium’s door.
–“Sorry, We’re not taking commissions at this hour. Please come back tomorrow-"
–“Oh, it 's you.”
As childish as it may have seemed, Nefer felt like she was caught blatantly past her appointed bed time.
–”Did I wake you up?” Lauma answered, scanning the woman before her, supposedly out of concern.
It still came off as checking Nefer out in her night garments, which they both made a mental note of.
–“...No. I was awake. I can explain.”
–“No need. But I believe enough time has passed for us to speak.”
Even with her firm demeanor, Lauma felt comforted in Nefer's honesty, seeing that, despite the clear nervousness she was showing, she still was willing to tell her the truth.
–“Are you sure? It’s pretty late now. You should be resting too.”
–“I took a nap this afternoon. I have the energy.”
A nap… How unexpected.
–“Very well then. Come on in.”
Nefer stood to the side, just enough to allow Lauma to enter while still getting to brush shoulders.
Inside, the Curatorium lied with a quietness born from tranquility, rather than idleness. Many books, stacked on top of each other, rested at the many tables in the premises.
–“I apologize for the mess. I’ve been catching up with some of the books I had imported back from Sumeru” Nefer said behind Lauma, with a blush that could be heard in her words.
–“It’s no problem. I ‘ll just settle these over here…”
As Lauma bent her knees to pick up the books from the coffee table, Nefer couldn’t help but stare at her back once again, Memorizing every bit she found beautiful from head to toe, just like she said back at the-
–“Do you have any tea? I believe this will take a while.” Lauma spoke again, interrupting Nefer's train of thought, derailing it even further with her voice.
–“Uh, sure.. I’ll get it ready.”
–“I’ll handle it. Stay right where you are.”
Lauma didn’ t mean to egg her on, at least not now. But her voice came out more authoritative, not in the way she had intended, which Nefer definitely felt deep within her, settling on the sofa with her legs crossed.
Back at the kitchen, she took the time to prepare her tea, letting her mind acknowledge the staring they had both made, and how that made her feel.
Of course, she could sense the subtle glances from the other side of the room, doing her best to not tell Nefer about it. Not that she minded it right now, but Lauma knew she would have to be firm for the next couple of hours.
After all, if she kept her selfishness up, and didn’t get the answer she wanted from Nefer, this would be her last act of kindness towards her. A parting shot of her own this time.
—-----------------------------
–“So… as for your fall, we discussed briefly what happened. But now I want to know why.”
Lauma settled her teacup down with absolute authority, the kind that needed no additional statement to be followed.
–“Why did you push yourself to that point? I wouldn’t go as far as to say it's uncharacteristic, but I find it unusual regardless.”
–“I just… didn’t think it would get to that point. I’m sorr-”
Lauma frowned in disapproval, before speaking again.
–“I don’t want apologies. I came here for something specific, that we’ve both been looking for everywhere in the world since we were born. I know I looked for it when I met you. If you know what that is, maybe I won't leave after that clear deflection you just made.”
Not even when she found herself face to face with Thoth’s riddle did Nefer's mind work as hard as it was doing now to find an answer. Lauma sipped from her teacup, glaring at her through the porcelain.
Nefer took her eyes from the ceiling, and with all of her might, looked back at Lauma.
She was gorgeous like that. Sat at her chair, drinking from her cup, at her own home.
Looking at her like she was garbage… It weighed on her heart, that glare. But Nefer had grown stronger, now willing to settle down her guns and move past the pain that facing off with her mistakes entailed.
Until the answer was found in Lauma's doe-eyes. And Nefer's emerald eyes, and within each of their hearts. It was obvious, so much so, that she had forgotten about it, like a fish when it’s asked about water, it was all around them and within their actions from the start. After all, it was what fueled and gave shape to the act they put out to the world.
“We were looking… for truth.”
Nefer braced herself for Lauma's answer, doubting her own sharpness after all that had happened.
But, when she opened her eyes, the glare was no longer pressing down on her. Instead, a warm smile and a look full of love and pride rewarded her.
“Yes. We did ever since, growing around each other, but never interjecting again until recently.” Lauma replied, her voice filled with fondness and esteem for the woman before her
“But this is the last thing I ask of you before seeing where this will go.”
Her commanding tone returned, and in answer to it, Nefer gulped. The rush of emotions was exhausting her in a way that felt addicting.
–“What do you want me to do now, Lauma?”
–”I know it’s a tall order, and I’m rather selfish for asking you this.”
–“But I want you to lay out your heart to me. I want to get to know you again, and see every contour of your heart. I’ll weigh it like that legend you told me all those years ago.”
–“Alright. Thank you for this.”
–“Just get on with it.” Lauma replied back, switching to a warm tone again to contrast the harsh words she just brought out
The conversation took them all night. Nefer spelled out and spoke with a heavy heart, telling her of every deed she had done and who she did it for. She told Lauma of her ambition, but also of her fear. How scared she was to have nothing to give in return to what little warmth and repose Nod-Krai and its inhabitants had given to her.
–“After you left, I wanted to amend things so much. But I was in no position to ask you anything. We were both busy, until adulthood buried those wishes beneath a mountain of work.”
Lauma listened intently, silently agreeing with Nefer.
–“And ever since, I’ve worked tirelessly to make Nod-Krai a safe place for you. I even adopted my neutrality policy to be able to halt Fatui attacks on my end without having to compromise openly.”
She was stunned, to say the least. It seemed that neither of them would’ve made it nearly as far without the other’s presence in their lives.
–“And when those two… monsters came around and almost destroyed everything, I scrambled to get everything back together. To indulge in the feeling of being needed by you and the people one last time before we had to part ways again.”
They were both on the verge of tears, but they pushed through those barriers, hellbent to find each other again.
–“And I guess I ran as far and as hard as I did when I received your dagger. I knew right there it would be truly over for us both afterwards, so I did as much as possible.”
–“Nefer… did you think the dagger was a threat of sorts?” Lauma said apologetically
–“I saw it as a statement. That you would cut me down if I got close to you or the scions again.” Nefer replied quietly, feeling powerless to suppress the hurt in her voice.
–“It was a commemoration. To all the sacrifices you and I had to make to get here. To know each other and to be the women we are today. I thought… I thought we wouldn’t speak again either.” Lauma gave back, her voice slightly cracking at the end.
–“Oh…” She couldn’t hold back the tears, and neither could Lauma.
Nefer crossed the table, and hugged Lauma tightly.
–“I… made those changes in me, thinking that you would like them.” Nefer sobbed in Lauma's shoulder, feeling some of her tears running down her back.
–“I did… I just wish I had learned about them before.”
Nefer stood up, rubbing her forearm across her eyes. With a smile, she extended her hand to Lauma.
–“I can’t bring myself to lie to you again, so let me introduce myself properly.”
–“My name is Nefer. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Lauma looked up at her and slowly placed her palm on top of Nefer's, before lunging for a kiss.
–“I am Lauma, of the Frostmoon scions. The pleasure is all mine.”
After minutes that felt like a lifetime together, they separated to catch their breaths, all against their current wish to be together before the world outside invaded the sanctuary that was their embrace
–“I wasn’t expecting things to end like this… But I'm not dissatisfied with this outcome” Nefer affirmed, still gasping for air
–“Don’t you think it’s a little unearned? We still haven’t fully discussed anything.” Lauma said, her voice now carrying a great concern for the future, diminishing little by little each time their eyes met.
“The only thing that matters is what we want. Do you want to be with me? Because I want to be with you.”
Nefer felt in her element for the first time in the night.
“I- O-of course I want to-” Lauma stumbled in her own words, eliciting a satisfied smirk from Nefer
“Ehem. How smooth, Lady Nefer. But we’ll talk about this.”
Just as the first rays of sunlight began to sneak through the window, Lauma thought back to that night, and reflected on the road they both had been put to. Perhaps they needed to simply become the right kind of people for each other. Hopefully this is in fact the right time for them to finally let go, and untie what the world-
“Good morning boss! I brought you a hot dog-”
Jahoda slammed the door open, not even questioning how it wasn’t even locked despite being six in the morning. There, her jaw dropped before she jumped in the air, cheering for herself to no one’s amusement.
“I KNEW IT!! I KNEW YOU TWO HAD SOMETHING!!”
Nefer glared at her, but Jahoda didn’t react to it in the slightest.
“I need to know EVERYTHING!”
Right there, Nefer snapped, lunging across the sofa still in her pajamas.
“You are dead! Now get back here, Jahoda!”
The blonde took off with her Anemo vision, having the fear of unemployment above death in her eyes.
Lauma, on her end, giggled and felt relief to see Nefer had made a successful recovery, given her eagerness to do everything she had done before dawn.
She sat back at the chair, finally realizing she had stayed up all night.
Seconds later, Ashru settled at her lap with familiarity.
“Hello, little one. Did those two wake you up?”
“Your sobbing did.”
“Oh, sorry about that…”
“It 's fine. If you’ll be here more often, then it’s worth it.”
Ashru looked at her, trying to suppress the need to nuzzle against her any further. In a way, it showed just how similar cats were to their owners.
“Do you think Nefer will do anything to Jahoda?”
“They’ll both fall asleep before even getting out of town. The feedback for using their visions like that will render them both catatonic before long.”
“Wait, what?”
“My master gave Nefer her vision, I would know.”
“That is… not good.”
“I would catch them before they pass out mid-air if I were you. And if I had hands instead of paws.”
Lauma quickly settled Ashru down on the floor before storming out of the building.
Outside, the cool air of the morning mixed with the warmth of sunlight greeted Lauma. The azure seas and the plains spelled out the answer she had been seeking, allowing the wheel of her fate to be spun anew with each beam of sunlight that her eyes caught head-on.
Minutes later, she found Nefer and Jahoda having crashed in a bush. Nefer's hands loosely wrapped around Jahoda's neck while they both slept, as if the motion of strangling her had been interrupted by the fatigue.
The sight melted Lauma's heart. With that new outlook found in the contour of the wilderness, she settled next to them, feeling like they had untied a weight that the world had bound unto them both. With that off their shoulders, they would reach out together just as the stars had dared her before, transcending their brilliance with the path they would make ahead for themselves, dancing together once again in the land of the living moon.