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Yoongi propped his chin on the heel of his hand, the loud sounds of the crowded bar fading into nothing but white noise as he watched Jungkook tilt his head back, downing another shot.
His lips pressed tightly together as he lowered the glass, barely fazed anymore by the burn of the alcohol as he reached for the next miniature glass that had been lined up for drinking.
Taehyung and Jimin flanked Jungkook on either side as the three of them finished their fourth and final glasses, slamming them down with grins and tipsy laughter.
Yoongi and Namjoon sat just around the corner from them, eyeing their youngest friends wearily as the two of them sipped on their drinks; Namjoon with his beer and Yoongi with his whiskey.
Jungkook looked over at Yoongi then, meeting his eyes with a smile Yoongi couldn't help but return.
"You three better pace yourselves. We don't want to have to carry anyone out of here tonight."
Jungkook giggled at that, the alcohol having already beginning to affect him.
"Who's to say the goal isn't to get swept off our feet tonight hyung?" He grinned with a suggestive wiggle of his brows.
"You think you'll find someone capable of doing that here?" Yoongi raised a brow.
Jungkook grinned.
"If not then I'll just come find you."
Yoongi's lips tick up in a crooked smiled before rolling his eyes at the younger's antics.
"I'll be waiting with my arms open," Yoongi teased back and Jungkook's smile brightened.
That wasn't a new thing, the teasing. Flirting, some might call it.
It was actually quite mild compared to Jungkook's usual approach to teasing Yoongi.
He had made it his life mission for ages to fluster Yoongi with subtle– or occasionally not so subtle– teasing and innuendos.
It stopped for the most part when he'd started dating his ex, but now that the two have broken up– they'd been together for almost a year before the dickhead cheated and dumped Jungkook for the other guy– that the habit has picked back up again.
Yoongi watched Jungkook as he was obviously getting ready to make some no doubt bratty comment back but that was the moment Hoseok chose to come up behind Jungkook, hook his arm with the younger man's and pull him towards the dance floor.
He went happily, Taehyung and Jimin following close behind, laughing all the while, heads thrown back.
Yoongi kept his eyes on the four friends now dancing excitedly to the upbeat song the live band had begun to play, taking another sip of the amber liquid in his glass.
"You know..." he suddenly heard Namjoon's low timber from his side. "It's been almost three months since the break up."
The comment gained his attention but his eyes didn't leave Jungkook who was sandwiched between Taehyung and Hoseok as they bounced and moved to the best.
"He's trying to get over it but nothing seems to be helping," another voice– Jin's– piped in as he walked up next to Namjoon.
"It's understandable for him to be feeling that way," Yoongi peeled his eyes away from the younger to look at the other two men. "He didn't do anything but love Jaehyun and he took him for granted. Treated him like he didn't mean a thing to him. I'm fucking pissed and I wasn't even the one who got cheated on."
Yoongi's fingers tightened around his glass as he began thinking about what Jungkook's ex did to him.
Jungkook loved all of those closest to him with his whole being. How he felt for Jaehyun was on a whole other level though.
He did everything for the guy. Even molded and changed things about himself in whatever way Mingyu had asked of him so he could be what he wanted him to be.
Still it wasn't enough and the fucker went off and cheated. Jungkook was– is– devastated by how things ended.
He tried to hide it from them. Put on a brave face and smile through the bad days but they've all known each other long enough to know he's hurting more than he puts on.
None of them pointed it out or confronted him about it, only assuring Jungkook that they were there for him, whatever he needed, but they did see through the act.
Namjoon clicked his tongue with a shrug. "Obviously that part's not good, but he's single now and looking for a way to feel better."
"I know some time has passed since it happened but such a large betrayal of trust like that takes time to heal from," Yoongi voiced.
"There's more than one way to heal you know," Namjoon smiled coyly, dimples appearing before he took a sip of his beer, eyes staying on Yoongi.
Yoongi quirked a brow, turning on his stool to angle himself towards his friend, straightening his posture. "Please, go on because I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say."
"Sex with someone you're comfortable with, maybe even are friends with, can be very healing," Jin spoke up, a knowing smile on his lips as well. "Better than fucking strangers, I'd imagine."
Yoongi snorted, trying to feign that the comment had hardly affected him, but he knew his cheeks were flushing.
Namjoon and Jin were both aware of the attraction Yoongi had for their dongsaeng, but honestly who wasn't attracted to Jungkook? He's an objectively good looking person.
Sharp jaw; carefully sculpted muscles; bright, round, expressive eyes; that lip ring that draws attention to his pouty lips; his impressive sleeve of tattoos; everything about his appearance is appealing and Yoongi's wasn't blind.
Besides, he'd been physically attracted to his friends before and that attraction didn't mean he'd necessarily jump into bed with them.
That actually sounded like a fucking horrendous idea; fucking someone you consider a best friend.
The relationship they had was fine. Great actually. And very easy.
Yoongi would indulge Jungkook in his teasing and near constant need for attention when Jungkook seeks it out but he hardly initiated any of it.
Didn't search the younger out, instead letting Jungkook set the terms of their friendship and followed his lead.
And that seemed to work fine for them. Jungkook had never shown interest in Yoongi beyond friendship and Yoongi was fine with that.
"I don't know what you're implying but-" he began to confront the two pairs of eyes watching him closely but when a yell/laugh was heard that was unmistakably their younger friends, all of their attention was drawn to where'd they'd last seen them dancing in the crowd.
The sound seemed to have come from Hoseok who was being held up by Taehyung in a sort of choreographed lift.
While Taehyung spun Hoseok around, Jungkook and Jimin were just to the side, swaying to the beat.
Jungkook had a large smile in place with his arms wrapped around Jimin's waist, the shorter man standing with his back to Jungkook's chest.
Yoongi watched as Jimin raised his arms, wrapping them backward around Jungkook's neck where he threaded his fingers through the hair at his nape.
It wasn't uncommon for the two to dance this way and they were each other's favorite dance partners.
After a few beats, Jungkook allowed his eyes to drift towards the bar and met eyes with Yoongi.
His lips split into a teasingly smirk as he shot a wink over to Yoongi.
Yoongi held the eye contact for a couple seconds, trying to look unimpressed by the scene, knowing full well Jungkook was looking for some type of reaction Yoongi refuses to give, before he'd turned towards the bartender to order another drink.
The younger man was such a tease. Always had been. With the mood he was in paired with the excessive shots Yoongi ventured to guess that despite dancing with Jimin at the moment it was likely in the younger's itinerary to either take someone home with him or accompany someone to their place.
Yoongi himself wasn't the biggest fan of one night stands but he understood the appeal they could have when coming off a breakup.
Finding a rebound to sleep with wasn't an uncommon practice. People have been doing it for hundreds of years.
Yoongi just hoped that whoever Jungkook left with, if anyone, they wouldn't be some creep or an asshole.
Not that he didn't trust his judgement, it was just his duty to worry as Jungkook's hyung, he reasoned. Jungkook deserved to be taken care of.
Especially in his more fragile than usual state.
The night continued like that. Yoongi had two glasses of whiskey total and Jungkook didn't have any more to drink besides water after he'd taken those four shots of Patrón.
When the bartender announced that it was closing time Yoongi was relieved to see that the younger members of their group, including Jungkook, were still upright and far from black out drunk.
He was mildly surprised when Jungkook informed their group as they prepared to leave was that he wouldn't be needing a ride home because he wasn't going home, he was going home with someone else, gesturing vaguely to the slowly dispersing crowd behind them.
He didn't introduce the guy to them, didn't even point out which guy in the crowd he was referring to, but Yoongi almost wished he had.
That way he could have vetted him somehow. Made sure to ask a few questions and get a feel for the guy. Get a read on him.
But he couldn't and he didn't so he just had to trust that Jungkook had spent at least a little time talking to whoever he'd met. Took time to decide if he would be safe with the stranger.
Yoongi sighed.
Jungkook had his number– all of their numbers– and knows he could call at any time and he would get a response.
Yoongi held onto that knowledge as he watches his friend disappear back into the gradually dispersing crowd.
.......
The pounding on his door hours later spiked his adrenaline in his half asleep state as he stumbled to his door.
It was two in the morning the clock on his stove informed and whoever was at his door was being insistent.
The first thing Yoongi did when he heard the banging was check his phone.
When he did he didn't have any missed calls or texts so he didn't know who was there or what had happened.
He naturally expected the worst with it being so late.
He rushed to unlock the door before swinging it open and his heart dropped when he was met with an upset looking Jungkook.
Before he uttered a single word the younger man launched forward, throwing his arms around Yoongi and squeezing tight.
Yoongi held him just as tightly, staying quiet to give Jungkook time to collect himself.
Jungkook was panting, like he'd run to Yoongi's door, in his arms and although it was only a brief glimpse of him before he'd thrown his arms around Yoongi, the older did notice his cheeks were flushed pink and his hair looked tossled and out of place.
"Kook?" Yoongi called quietly, voice full of concern.
"I-I'm sorry I didn't call first. I know it's late and you were probably asleep," he mumbled against Yoongi's shoulder. "I just- I didn't want to be at my place anymore. Is it okay that I'm here?"
"You don't need to apologize,"" Yoongi voiced, hand rubbing circles on his friend's back. "You can come over anytime. You know that."
Jungkook pulled away after a beat, staring at him with round, pleading eyes.
"Can I stay?"
"Of course," Yoongi answered easily.
He slid his hand down Jungkook's arm, taking his hand to lead him to his room.
Jungkook had been to his place many times before, there was no need for Yoongi to guide him anywhere, but maybe Yoongi needing the feeling of having Jungkook safely in his grasp just as much as Jungkook seemed to need physical comfort in the form of skin-ship.
And Jungkook does like and need skin-ship. He was someone who has no real sense of personal space when it comes to hugs and cuddling.
He's like that with all six of his friends. And again, it's all platonic.
Yoongi knows he enjoys it a little more when Jungkook hangs off of him or snuggles against his side when they have their group movie nights.
He views Jungkook's physical affection differently than he does when say, Taehyung drapes his arms over Yoongi's shoulders.
Or when Jimin plays with his fingers on occasion. But that's just how Yoongi is when it comes to Jungkook.
He sees him differently. Always has and likely always will.
Fifteen minutes later, Jungkook had changed into a comfortable oversized sweatshirt of Yoongi's and soft lounge pants, also a little big on the older, and settled onto the mattress beside Yoongi.
Once Jungkook has fluffed his pillow and settled into a comfortable enough position he let out a deep breath.
"Thank you for letting me stay."
Yoongi's immediate reaction was to ask why Jungkook came to his place instead of any of their other friends' homes but he decides against it.
Why question it when he can just be happy he can be there for his friend at all.
Yoongi only hummed in response and Jungkook reached a hand out, resting it on Yoongi's forearm, giving it a squeeze.
Yoongi rolled over so he was facing Jungkook, reaching his arm around his waist to pull him closer to his chest.
Jungkook relaxed against him immediately, nuzzling his cheek in the space just under Yoongi's chin.
Yoongi soothingly ran his fingertips across Jungkook back, assuring in a calming voice that it's no problem.
When silence settled around them again Yoongi debated whether to come right out and ask Jungkook if something happened.
The younger seemed happy the last time Yoongi saw him before he left with-
Yoongi's heart clenched as he suddenly remembered that the last time he saw Jungkook was when he announced he was leaving the bar with that stranger.
"Did something happen with that guy? Because if he did anything-"
"No! No he didn't do anything wrong. Not on purpose anyway," Jungkook answered quietly.
"Not on purpose?" Yoongi questioned, not understanding what the younger meant by that.
Jungkook pulled his head away then, looking at Yoongi with contemplation written in his expression.
Their eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room, so Yoongi saw Jungkook's shoulders slump before he pushed himself up into a sitting position.
He brought his knees up to his chest, staring at the wall across from Yoongi's bed instead of at the older.
Yoongi sat up as well, waiting patiently for additional context.
"He wasn’t aggressive, but he was a bit pushy. More pushy than I expected. I kept trying to slow things down but he was a little too caught up in the moment to allow us time to get on the same page. Finally, after asking again if we could slow down, he told me to just leave if I wasn't going to fuck him," Jungkook explained with a crestfallen expression.
Yoongi clenched his jaw as anger and annoyance rushed through him.
On one hand, he was happy Jungkook was given the choice to leave instead of staying and doing something he wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with. On the other hand, Jungkook could be so soft hearted.
Yoongi understood why he would be upset getting kicked out of someone's place so abruptly like that all because you wanted to slow down.
Probably didn't help with Jungkook's insecurities and habit to blame things on himself that have nothing to do with him.
"I just..." Jungkook nibbled his lip ring. "All of this has been so embarrassing! All of the trying to hook-up and get out there again since-" he cut himself off, taking a shaky breath. "Ever since the break up."
"Kook," Yoongi sighed quietly, sadly. "You know that wasn't your fault, right? With Mingyu or with that guy tonight. You haven't done anything wrong."
"I know..." Jungkook offered a small nod, bottom lip trembling slightly. "I know deep down that it wasn't my fault. And I do want to find someone nice... it's just been hard. I'm starting to think it's easier said than done, you know?" Jungkook sighed sadly. "I thought he was nice. So thoughtful and loving. I really did, but, well, we all know how nice he turned out to be."
Jungkook's breaths became more uneven, shaky, and Yoongi could tell that he was trying his best to keep his unshed tears at bay.
After a few seconds, Jungkook reached a hand up to quickly wipe away a tear and in that same second Yoongi pulled him into another hug.
As soon as he was between Yoongi's arms Jungkook began sniffling, shoulders shaking with every breath.
"I didn't mean to upset you," Yoongi murmured against his hair, rocking him back and forth. "I'm sorry Kook-ah."
After a shorter stretch of quiet, Yoongi cleared his throat.
"Have you reevaluated your stance on Joon and I paying your ex a little visit? We'd still really like to have a chat with him," Yoongi joked lightly, attempting to ease some of the tension.
It seemed to work as Jungkook let out a breathy chuckle.
"A chat is not what you would have if you saw him. Definitely not what Joon would. He has gone into quite a bit of detail about what he will do if he ever sees him. I can bet your intentions would be along the same lines."
Yoongi chuckled as well, knowing Jungkook's right. They would knock Jaehyun's teeth in if they ran into him again, no hesitation.
After the air seemed to lighten around them, Jungkook pulled away from Yoongi.
"You're always so nice to me, hyung."
"I am pretty great aren't I," Yoongi grinned teasingly and Jungkook's eyes immediately wrinkle at the edges with the wide smile that appeared.
"Humble too," Jungkook smiled, bottom lip finding its way between his teeth.
Yoongi could tell there was more the younger wanted to say so he waited patiently.
"You always tell me I should find someone nice. Someone who treats me well..."
Yoongi nodded slowly, saying "I do, and I mean it" as he looked down at Jungkook's hands where he had them clasped in his lap.
Jungkook had both of his legs tucked underneath him and he'd looking at his hands, shoulders slumped.
He lookes so small and fragile, the opposite of the Jungkook Yoongi knows.
Yoongi reaches for one of Jungkook's hands, resting his on top of it.
"I know it's a bit reckless but I've been trying to meet people to- to try and get over him." Jungkook said quietly, his cheeks burning red as he added, "I'm not unsafe or anything! I really am careful and don't just go home or hang out with anyone who gives me attention," Jungkook rushed out and Yoongi quickly consoled him, telling him he would never doubt his judgment.
"Thank you," Jungkook chewed his lips. "I just..."
Yoongi waited patiently for the younger to continue.
"Hyung..." Jungkook looked up with a small frown before dropping his eyes again. "What if-," he worried his lip. "What if I'm the problem..? He had to go off and find someone because I wasn't good enough. What if-"
"Don't even finish that sentence," Yoongi stated, voice serious and a bit on edge.
Jungkook pouted at his tone.
Yoongi continued. "He was an idiot and you never did anything wrong. He made the choices he made because he's stupid. Everything that happened was his fault and his alone."
"...You mean that?" Jungkook asked quietly.
"Every word."
The tiniest smile took over Jungkook's face again, soft and thankful, just like the man himself.
Jungkook's hands now played with Yoongi's fingers where Yoongi's hand was now cupped between his and his body had visibly relaxed.
"I don't even know what I was thinking leaving with that guy tonight..." he mumbled absentmindedly.
"You're looking for a rebound."
Jungkook let out a breathy laugh, "It sounds so childish, doesn't it," he sighed. "I just- I didn't realize finding someone I actually connected with in some way would be so hard. I feel like I'm just not doing this whole 'getting over an ex' thing right."
"I'm not sure if there's one right way, Kook. Just whatever works best for you."
Jungkook nods. "Well, I think I need someone to spend time with who actually cares about me, not just who wants to fuck... if that makes sense."
Yoongi hummed, mulling over the words.
"Someone who cares, but also who you wouldn't mind fucking."
He's only half serious when he's said it but Jungkook's immediate agreement tells him Jungkook is serious about this topic.
It's silent for quite some time after that and at one point Yoongi can feel it begin to get tense but he isn't quite sure why.
"Hyung..." Jungkook began and as Yoongi started to feel the mattress moving slightly as Jungkook wriggled and squirmed with nerves he realized whatever Jungkook is about to say is what's caused the shift in the atmosphere.
"Would you help me?"
Yoongi's brain sort of short circuited at that because what? Would be want to help?
Yoongi blinked at him, confused, "Of course I can help Kook, you can always talk to me about-"
"Not just talking..." Jungkook gulped, not looking at Yoongi.
And that's when Yoongi understood what Jungkook had meant.
"Jungkook," he said gently but still firmly. "I need you to tell me exactly what you're thinking because I want to make sure I understand."
Jungkook let out a whine, "It's embarassing hyung."
Yoongi quirked a brow. "I don't think it is embarrassing but I do think it's important that we are clear with each other. So, what are you saying exactly?"
Jungkook was quiet for a few more stubborn moments before he lifting his head, and looking right into Yoongi's eyes asked, "Do you care about me?"
"Of course," Yoongi stated immediately, honestly. "You're one of my best friends."
"And you want to help me?"
"Of course."
"O-okay," he exhales shakily. "But if I asked you to help me by having sex with me, would you do it?"
Yoongi mouth opens, shocked.
He thought that might be what Jungkook had meant but he didn't expect to be right!
Oh God...
"I- I mean, yes, I'd be willing but, and it’s a large but, I don't know if that's a good idea..." Yoongi stammered. "We're friends-"
"Exactly!" Jungkook huffed, "that's why you'd be perfect. We are friends, you genuinely care about me and I'm comfortable around you, and it's not like I haven't thought about-"
He'd cut himself off then, cheeks red.
Yoongi's brows raised in surprise. He couldn't help but ask if Jungkook was about to say he had thought about them sleeping together before.
Jungkook let out a whine, raising his hands to cover his face.
"It's not weird," comes his muffled voice second later.
Yoongi couldn't help but laugh. "Are you telling me that or yourself?"
Jungkook lowered his hands just enough to shoot a scowl in Yoongi's direction.
Yoongi's laughter dies down and as the silence settles it becomes more tense the longer it hovers around them.
"So," Jungkook gulps before glancing over at Yoongi's face. "Hyung, if I asked you for your help, would you help me?"
"You're serious," Yoongi voices after studying his friend for several beats.
Jungkook nods immediately, expression serious.
"How would that work Kook? Would we still be friends?"
"Of course," Jungkook assures. "We can still be friends. Nothing would change that. We can still fight over which water Pokémon is best and who makes the best steak–"
"It's me," Yoongi says automatically, tension easing slightly. "There is no arguing that."
"And I disagree, so that's one thing we can continue to discuss and bicker over like old friends do," Jungkook smiles teasingly before his expression softens again. "No strings attached. I just want to remember what it's like to be cared about."
Yoongi wants to help, he really does, because hearing Jungkook finally open up about just how broken and lonely he has felt is really breaking his heart, but he just- he still doesn't know how this doesn't end badly.
Jungkook gives Yoongi time to think and it does take a minute or two, but Yoongi does decide that as long as they can be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings this can be okay on a short term basis.
He reiterates that last point which Jungkook agrees to.
"Thank you hyungie," Jungkook says sincerely, cheeks aflame, bunny teeth on full display.
"So cute," Yoongi smiles softly.
"You always call me cute," Jungkook rolls his eyes playfully. "But I'm not cute I'm sexy."
Yoongi purses his lips, thinking.
He's never actually told Jungkook how attractive he finds him, but Jungkook loves complements, Yoongi doesn't doubt that the kid's got a praise kink, so Yoongi decides this is as good a time as any to tell Jungkook exactly what he thinks about him.
Jungkook did share that he'd thought about he and Yoongi sleeping together. Yoongi sharing something personal too was only fair, right?
"Two things can be true at once. You're painfully cute but you're also sexy as fuck."
"You think I'm sexy?" Jungkook asked breathily, feeling unexpectedly affected by the words coming from Yoongi.
"Everything about you is so perfect. It drives me crazy," Yoongi slid his eyes over him, allowing himself to admire openly, "Your body is so tones and firm. And that fucking tiny waist of yours is insane. Bet I could wrap both of my hands around you and my fingers would touch."
Jungkook stared at the older with wide eyes, his lips parted slightly in awe and Yoongi understood the reaction.
Jungkook knows how much Yoongi cares about him simply by how Yoongi acts with him. Yoongi gives small mumbled compliments here and there to his friends, Jungkook included, but he's never spoken to him like this.
Now the words are just tumbling out of Yoongi without any control of them.
He's fairly certain that the only thing that would stop the word vomit coming out of him as he lists practically every single thing he's ever been attracted to physically about Jungkook would be if his friend was looking at him like he was uncomfortable or disgusted.
But to Yoongi's absolute surprise, he looks far from uncomfortable.
His breathing has picked up and his pupils are noticeably dialated as he hangs on Yoongi's every word, unable to offer any of his own.
He's leaned in closer to Yoongi and Yoongi finds himself leaning further into Jungkook's space as well as he adds to what's he's said in a gentler voice but equally as genuine.
"But beyond your physical appearance you're also one of the most genuine people I've ever met. You care so much about people, making sure everyone is taken care of and happy. You deserve for someone to return to you those same feelings. And quite honestly, if you would like me to be that person, I'd be honored."
They lean closer and closer with every word, an invisible magnet pulling them together that neither of them would even dream of defying in this moment.
Yoongi lets out a small gasp when he feels Jungkook curl his fingertips into the front of his shirt, pulling him in slowly.
Yoongi's hand falls to Jungkook's waist, resting there easily.
Yoongi can feel his cheeks warming along with the tips of his ears, smiling as Jungkook's adorable cheeks warm as well.
Jungkook then swallows, his throat bobbing nervously as he hesitates to voice what he's thinking.
"If we do this..." Jungkook begins quietly. "We'll still be friends. Nothing will change."
He doesn't state these as questions. They are statements. Promises and the seriousness in his tone sets Yoongi at ease.
Maybe this will be okay his shoulder relax just a bit more.
"Nothing will change," Yoongi nods.
"Nothing," Jungkook voices next. "And you have to promise not to be weird."
"You don't need to worry about me making it weird, Kook. Besides, of the two of us you're the weird one," Yoongi can't help but tease and Jungkook slaps him on the arm playfully.
"It won't be weird hyung. This is going to be great! I have complete faith in you," he smiles softly. "We're just one friend helping another friend."
A friend helping a friend Yoongi tucks his bottom lip between his teeth as he tries to hide his smile at the simplification of their situation.
"Sounds good to me."
Jungkook's smiles turn more shy as his eyes slide from Yoongi's eyes to his lips.
When he looked back at Yoongi through his lashes, looking sinfully innocent, Yoongi's mouth was suddenly very dry as he stared into Jungkook's eyes.
When he hears a shy "Can I kiss hyung now?" he swallowed, feeling a bit breathless.
The words were whispered, lips pouty and glossy from where he'd just licked them.
Yoongi doesn't answer, instead leaning in to slot Jungkook's lips between his, the younger letting out a satisfied grown at the contact.
Their lips brushed together shyly at first, getting used to the feel and the idea of it all.
Even with Jungkook that close, with him enthusiastically returning and obviously enjoying their kissing if the cute little noises he was making were anything to go off of, it still didn't fully seem real to Yoongi.
That it was really Jungkook he was having like this but the realization sunk in more and more as the minutes drew on and things only got more intense. Heated.
At one point Jungkook pressed a devious smirk to the corner of Yoongi's mouth before running the tip of his tongue between Yoongi's lips.
Teasing. Testing.
Yoongi reached his hand to cradle his jaw more firmly, tilting his head just enough so that their tongues could move together after he granted Jungkook entry.
Their lips pressed together again and again, tongues dancing and twirling together like this was something they were familiar with doing together.
The feeling was heady and intoxicating. Addicting.
He felt excited but also calm. Calm and comfortable.
There were no fireworks. The earth didn't feel like it was disappearing around them and they were the only two left in existence, no, but it still felt like something out of a dream.
It felt peaceful. Yoongi was calm and focused on nothing but Jungkook.
Never in his wildest thoughts had Yoongi ever entertained the idea of doing this– doing anything– with Jungkook but now that he knew how his lips felt, how his mouth tasted and the whimpers and gasps that could be drawn out of his friend Yoongi knew he was going to struggle not to want to kiss his friend every chance he gets.
The way that intense want snuck up on him surprised him. Enough so that pulled away, needing to catch his breath anyway, and blinked some clarity back into his vision.
"Wow," he heard Jungkook exhale quietly in awe and Yoongi couldn't help but smile.
"You really are devastatingly cute," he sighs with a smile.
"Am not," Jungkook giggled immediately, nose wrinkling, throwing himself back onto the pillows with his hands covering his face.
Yoongi grumbled about Jungkook needing to just accept that he's always going to be adorable to Yoongi, but laughed as well, feeling high on endorphins. On their kiss. On Jungkook.
He laughed a bit louder when he watched Jungkook reach and hand up before fisting Yoongi's shirt and pulling him down so Yoongi was hovering above him.
He immediately leaned up to kiss Yoongi again and that's how they continued, , Jungkook laying on his back with Yoongi above him.
They mapped out each other's mouths, enjoying the new angle, Yoongi trying to hold back his shivers and Jungkook's fingers started to skim across his bare arms and under his shirt across his back.
Yoongi's hand was busy being pressed into the mattress to keep himself from fully laying on top of Jungkook but his other hand did enjoy sliding up and down the younger's side, fingers dancing over his ribs and gliding up and down his thigh as his legs fell open to further offer space for Yoongi's body to be close.
Jungkook wrapped his arms around Yoongi, clinging to his back and shoulders with a desperation Yoongi knew he was beginning to feel as well. A desperation to be as close as possible.
Their chests presses together, their heavy breathing in sync as they continued to hum and gasp in content with the way their bodies responded to each other.
The sounds Jungkook made were truly music to Yoongi's ears and he was so tempted to see just how far Jungkook would allow them to go, but he knew it was too much too fast.
They'd only just made the leap from friends who tease and flirt harmlessly to friends making out in Yoongi's bed.
Fucking would have been all too sudden. They needed to take things slow.
When Yoongi tried to pull away, telling Jungkook they should probably get some rest his friend obviously wasn't too happy about slowing things down but he did admit he was getting sleepy.
"Which is why we should get some sleep," Yoongi smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of Jungkook's nose before rolling over, dropping onto his back beside Jungkook.
There was an air of bashfulness hanging around them but it didn't feel awkward. Not at that moment.
"Is it still okay if I stay here?" Jungkook has said through a yawn. He said it as he snuggled against the pillow and wiggled his body to get more comfortable on the mattress and between the sheets, obviously expecting the answer to be yes, which of course it was.
Yoongi had confirmed as he let out a yawn of his own.
"We can talk more tomorrow?" Jungkook had murmured eventually, already on his way to sleeping.
"Okay," Yoongi answered gently. "Tomorrow."
*6 months later*
They did talk the day after that first kiss.
They went out for breakfast and discussed how they were feeling after the haze of the alcohol that had been in their systems had fully lifted and they both made it clear that Yoongi "helping" Jungkook was something they still very much wanted to do.
They'd also discussed their expectations and they were very clear.
The most important thing to both of them was that above anything else (friends with benefits, fuck buddies; whatever labels may be applicable) they are friends and they will remain friends.
They'd done well for a while but it was perhaps naïve of Yoongi to believe things would not fundamentally change between them. That his feelings about them sleeping together and about Jungkook himself wouldn't change.
Whenever Yoongi thinks back on that night when they'd kissed for the first time a storm of opposing emotions churn within him.
On one hand, he's glad he could step in to help Jungkook when he'd asked.
He was so heartbroken and Yoongi was willing and able to offer him the closeness he'd been searching– craving– for.
On the more disheartening side of things, Yoongi underestimated how feelings can change.
He honestly didn't think of Jungkook in any sort of romantic way before or even early on when they'd started all of this, but about a month or so ago things started to shift.
He tries to keep things in check as to not give away his inner struggles but he's definitely finding it harder and harder to not just come right out and tell Jungkook that he might not want it to just be about sex anymore.
That he's confused and might want more.
Might want to take Jungkook on dates and do the types of cheesy things that make him cringe but he knows Jungkook loves.
Might want to bring the rom-coms Jungkook makes their friends watch when it's his turn to pick the movie for movie night to life just to see his face illuminate the way it does when he's so immensely happy and worry free.
Yoongi wants to talk to Jungkook but he also hasn't really sorted his shit out enough to know exactly what he wants and he thinks it would be counterproductive to just spring these muddled and jumbled thoughts and feelings onto Jungkook with no sort of structure.
Maybe he'll try to write some things down. Get his thoughts and feelings laid out on paper so he can fit it all together and figure out what it is he wants.
…….
When Jungkook asks “Do you want to come over?" Yoongi knows he should say no.
Despite Jungkook immediately cooling the initially semi-suggestive offer with a toned down "I'm cat sitting for my brother and you're the only one who hasn't met her" the line delivered with that adorable nose scrunching, excited smile, Yoongi should try harder to resist.
Should stay strong and decline, offering any excuse, real or made up, as to why he can't.
He's still trying to figure all his shit out. It's going about as well as Yoongi expected it would; i.e. not good at all.
He should say no, but he doesn't– of course he doesn't– because he is, after all, a very weak man for Jeon Jungkook.
That weakness is basically what got them into this habit in the first place.
The walk to Jungkook's house isn't long, Jungkook having his arm hooked with Yoongi's, leaning in and tucking himself against the older's side as he chatters on about various things makes it feel even shorter.
Jungkook lives just a few blocks from Jimin's apartment, which is where they'd previously been hanging out when Jungkook met Yoongi at the door as he was reaching for his shoes, ready to head back to his own apartment for the night.
Yoongi had an excuse just on the tip of his tongue.
He was tired. His social meter was close to empty and he was way more excited than he should have been to go home and get in bed.
But, then Jungkook's hand brushed against his and the younger hesitated just a second too long before he'd pulled it away, flashing that irresistibly endearing smile of his.
Now here they are; Yoongi going along with whatever Jungkook wants like the lovesick fool he is.
This whole thing started from a proposition Jungkook had made as a way to get help getting over the jerk who broke his heart.
It's continued as such but it's also become a habit. A habit Yoongi, in all honesty, can't seem to break.
So, Yoongi will say yes and likely continue to say yes, maybe even extending invitations of his own when he craves Jungkook's touch, until Yoongi reaches his breaking point and decides to ruin everything and actually talk about what he's thinking and feeling and say they that for his own sanity they need to either end this or take things more seriously.
They have to do one or the other. It's becoming painful not to view the time they spend together in private as nothing more than a friend helping a friend.
Very very painful.
Not for the first time he finds himself thinking back on how this all started, questioning if they should have done things differently, or perhaps shouldn't have done anything at all.
Yoongi doesn't have a chance to continue down this path of overthinking their situation as he's tugged into Jungkook's apartment presumably to "meet the cat."
But no sooner does the click of the door latching behind him echo in the silence are soft lips pressed to his, insistent and needy.
It still catches Yoongi off guard sometimes how perfectly their mouths fit together.
The kiss quickly morphs into something more scorching than the languid press and drag of lips.
Jungkook tastes of the melon Soju he'd been drinking at Jimin's, the flavor of which Yoongi isn't partial to but somehow melds perfectly with the natural taste of Jungkook.
Eager hands clutch his shoulders, one sliding itself to the back of his neck to deepen the already heated kiss.
Yoongi's own hand rests against Jungkook's cheek, angling his head so his tongue can swipe into the other's mouth at a better angle.
Jungkook's other hand then slides down his chest, gripping at Yoongi's loose t-shirt to pull him closer before beginning to walk backwards, pulling Yoongi with him.
Somehow they make it to Jungkook's bedroom without much issue, and Jungkook pushes Yoongi so he's sitting on the edge of the plush surface of his mattress before climbing into his lap.
His legs bracket Yoongi's and Yoongi brings his hand up, brushing his thumb across the length of Jungkook's sharp jaw before crashing their lips together again.
Jungkook moans against his lips, back bowing just enough so his chest presses against Yoongi's.
When he begins rotating his hips, experimentally the first couple of times before he gets more bold with the movement, Yoongi breaks the kiss to groan at the much welcomed friction on his hardening cock.
Jungkook's hands are in his hair now, tugging and combing through it as he continues his movements, rolling his tongue with Yoongi's as they explore– re-familiarize themselves with– each other's mouths.
The firm grip on Jungkook's hips comes naturally to Yoongi as he spins him around to lay the younger on his back.
Before his back hits the mattress though, Jungkook is rucking up Yoongi's shirt, hands needy and determined as they strip him of his shirt before he does the same with his own.
"Want- these off too," he heaves, breaths coming out in heavy puffs as he tugs on the belt loops of Yoongi's jeans.
Yoongi's hands move to his fly in a flash as he grits out, "Yours too," breathing just as heavily.
Their clothes are tossed aside moments before Jungkook pulls Yoongi down to him.
His legs are spread and Yoongi falls easily between them, pushing his hips forward in an instant so they can rut and grind against each other.
They're both fully hard now and Jungkook's has one hand scratching at Yoongi's back while the other is reaching away from them, feeling around under his pillows to their right, searching for something.
He breaks their umpteenth round of making out to press a small bottle against Yoongi's chest along with a condom.
Yoongi quirks a curious brow as he looks between the items and Jungkook's face.
The younger man is prepared.
"I'm already prepped," he blushes, blinking up at Yoongi looking innocent enough despite the filthy thing he's just admitted to.
Oh... even more prepared than just stashing supplies under his pillow for easier access it seems.
"What did you do?" Yoongi inquires anyway, wanting Jungkook to elaborate despite already deducing what the answer will be.
Sure enough, what Jungkook answers is right in line with what Yoongi thought the case may have been.
"Fucked myself open before I went to Jiminie's," he licks his lips, playful smirk on his lips. "Knew I'd be seeing you and didn't want to waste any time when we came back here."
(Yoongi doesn't miss the way Jungkook shows no room for any anticipated end to the night besides the two of them ending up alone in the end, but his own predictability when it comes to Jimin is something for Yoongi to think about later.)
With a crooked smile, Yoongi leans further away, tearing open the foil square with his teeth.
Jungkook takes this as an opportunity to scoot himself further up the bed.
He observes with hungry, anticipation filled eyes as Yoongi slides the condom on before spreading lube over the latex.
"Look so innocent but do such naughty things when no one's around, Kook-ah," Yoongi hisses. "Such a little slut aren't you."
"Only for you," Jungkook quips back, voice low and thick with arousal.
Just as Yoongi begins crawling towards him, Jungkook flips onto his stomach before raising himself onto his hands and knees.
Yoongi groans at the site when his eyes trace the line of his spine, over the swell of his ass to the space between his cheeks.
Jungkook arches with a loud moan when Yoongi traces his fingertips over his cheeks before spreading them apart, checking Jungkook's work.
His whole is clenching and wanting, fluttering in a way that has Yoongi salivating.
Why did Yoongi think he should have declined Jungkook’s invite earlier? The reason escapes him now as he settles behind him, lining himself up with his entrance.
He gasps in surprise, the sound quickly breaking into a guttural moan when Jungkook takes it upon himself to push back, forcing Yoongi inside without warning.
Pretty, sinful sounds spill out of the younger as he pushes and pushes until Yoongi's hips are flush with his ass.
"Such a little fucking slut," Yoongi moans, eyes rolling back, hips twitching involuntarily.
"Then fuck me like one," Jungkook wiggles his ass tauntingly.
Yoongi lands a slap on his left ass cheek before he holds Jungkook in place, a hand on each hip, and begins to thrust.
The drag of his cock along Jungkook's walls is divine, Jungkook taking every inch of him so perfectly, his hole sucking him in with greed.
When Yoongi quickens his movements, Jungkook's arms give out and he falls into the bed.
He's babbling incoherently against the mattress, barely audible pleas for Yoongi to go harder reaching the older man's ears.
"Fuck- fuck yeah, okay," Yoongi moans, pulling almost completely out of him before snapping his hips more harshly forward.
The slapping of their bare skin paired with the symphony of moans and curses, as well as Yoongi's never ending string of praises, pushes them closer and closer to the edge.
When Yoongi changes the angle of his hips at the same time he begins pulling Jungkook back to meet his thrusts, the high pitched whine he forces out of the younger lets him know he's found the perfect angle to stimulate Jungkook's swollen prostate.
Somehow Jungkook becomes even louder as Yoongi begins thrusting more pointedly, not letting up for a second.
(The tell is really when Jungkook's breathing becomes louder and his thighs start to shake)
Yoongi feels himself rapidly approaching the cliff of ecstasy and quickly leans forward so he's draped over Jungkook's back.
He hastily spits in his hand before wrapping it around Jungkook's pulsing cock, jerking him off in time with his erratic hip movements as he pounds into him; rough and fast.
Jungkook spills over Yoongi's knuckles and onto his sheets below with a scream of Yoongi's name and Yoongi topples over the edge shortly after.
Yoongi doesn't pull out of Jungkook immediately, peppering kisses over his shoulder blades and the back of his neck as he continues rocking his hips at a gentler pace now.
When Jungkook begins whimpering, shuddering at the oversensitivity and reaches back to push Yoongi's hips back, then does Yoongi pull out of him.
Their post-sex routine remains in tact after that as Yoongi pulls off the condom, tying it off as he makes his way to the en suite bathroom to discard of the rubber and get a wash cloth to clean them up.
After cleaning them both– helping Jungkook into a pajama set while Yoongi dresses himself in a pair of boxers he's fairly certain are his own and a shirt– he shuffles Jungkook's tired body around on the bed while he changes the sheet.
When that's finished Yoongi flops onto the bed next to his friend with a sigh.
He doesn't plan on staying much longer as they don't ever spend the night after they fuck.
It's one of the only rules they'd originally set that they do make a point to keep.
He does have something he needs to do before he goes though. The highlighted reason given for the invite in the first place.
"I know we didn't spend much time looking around when we first got here," he begins, voice sounding more rough than he'd expected. He clears his throat before continuing. "But I don't recall seeing any trace of a cat."
He glances around the dark room, his eyes having adjusted to it, surveying for evidence around the space, smiling softly as Jungkook giggles tiredly next to him.
"She's spent most of her time since she’d gotten here scoping out the place," he answers with a yawn. "We'll probably run into her when I walk you to the door in fifteen minutes."
"Fifteen minutes, huh?" Yoongi chuckles, raising an arm up to rest the back of his head against his bicep.
He then turns his head in Jungkook's direction, seeing him with his eyes closed and a relaxed grin on his face.
"Fifteen minutes," he confirms with a shrug. "Just long enough to catch our breath."
"Long enough to catch our breath," Yoongi grins.
"Yes. Now hush so I can get some rest before the introduction hyung."
Yoongi just chuckles, keeping his eyes on Jungkook.
"Alright," Yoongi's smile softens into something more fond than amused as he turns his face towards the ceiling, closing his eyes.
"She's sweet... you'll love her," Jungkook sighs, moving closer against Yoongi's side.
Yoongi hides a smile, leaning his head to rest against Jungkook's as the younger presses his cheek to Yoongi's chest.
His heart is so full, so content, but he's dreading in the back of his mind the moment he steps out of this apartment when the swirling feelings and over analyzing of what he and Jungkook's friendship has turned into sets in.
For now, he will grasp as best he can to the warmth in his chest.
They can talk about things later. About where their friendship is heading and what they do and don't want from their arrangement.
About choosing to continue on like this, or finally face what he's feeling and hopes Jungkook feels too so they can commit to being more, or end it and go back to being just friends, if that's even possible at this point.
Yoongi would hope so, that was the main part of their deal after all, not letting anything change between them but, well, Yoongi already broke that promise when he'd gone and developed feelings for his friend anyway hadn't he.
He's really got to distance himself and get his shit together.
…….
Something has changed and Jungkook doesn't like it. Hates it actually because whatever has changed is making Yoongi avoid him.
He hasn't seen him in almost three weeks– the last time being when he'd come to Jungkook's place to "meet the cat."
(Jungkook can't help but smile because he and Yoongi both knew that was a flimsy excuse for Yoongi to come over so they could have sex, but he digresses.)
The point of his brooding right now is that Yoongi is suddenly too busy to hang out.
He'll answer Jungkook's texts, always polite enough to engage in conversation but as soon as Jungkook starts to bring up seeing each other in person Yoongi is tired or has plans already or needs to work late.
Or his most recent excuse of his seasonal allergies acting up. In all the time Jungkook has known Yoongi he has never even seen him have issues with seasonal allergies!
So, yeah he's obviously avoiding Jungkook and he doesn't know what he did wrong.
He hates to think that maybe Yoongi has finally seen through this whole "helping a friend" veil Jungkook tried to cover this whole dynamic in to figure out that Jungkook likes him.
Likes him a lot.
(If he's being honest with himself he knows it's love, but that word is so big. He's scared to say think it let alone say it out loud. Especially out loud to Yoongi.)
His stomach is twisting in knots at the thought that Yoongi did figure it out and rather than rejecting Jungkook he's choosing to distance himself.
Jungkook has tried to be patient, he really has, but this is getting to be too much for his heart to take.
If he isn't good enough for Yoongi to want to be with then he'd honestly rather just have the man be direct about it so he can start to gather the pieces of his slowly fragmenting heart and start trying to repair it.
That need for answers is what has motivated Jungkook to be standing in the hallway outside the door to Yoongi's apartment.
What drives him to take a grounding deep breath and raise his fist to knock on the door.
It's my fault we started this in the first place, it's only right that I end it he thinks, jaw set in determination.
Yoongi always opens when Jungkook knocks. He hopes this time is the same.
That determination dims slightly when he sees Yoongi after the older man does open his door.
Jungkook's heart sinks at the sight.
Yoongi's skin looks unusually pale with a sheen of sweat across his face, neck and his collarbones which are visible due to the stretched out neckline of his t-shirt.
His cheeks are hollow, his under eyes are a purplish color and his nose is red.
When Yoongi hurriedly dabs at it with a balled up tissue Jungkook assumes that repeated blowing and wiping is the reason for the redness.
"It's not the best time," Yoongi's graveled voice reaches Jungkook's ears before he's thrown into a coughing fit.
"You're sick," Jungkook softens at the pitiful sight of his hyung.
"It's just allergies," Yoongi corrects and Jungkook can't help but scoff because he may not be a doctor but this is so obviously not allergies.
"Right," he comments. "Well, I came to accuse you of avoiding me, but it seems this has now turned into a rescue mission because you look like you're about to fall over."
Yoongi sniffles, staring down at their feet.
"I'm sorry for avoiding you," he says quietly.
"So I was right," Jungkook crosses his arms across his chest, peaking his head to try to meet Yoongi's eyes.
Yoongi lets out a sound that sounds like it is meant to be an annoyed huff but comes out as more of a throaty hack.
When he doubles over coughing more Jungkook takes pity on him, pushing the door open further and guiding his hyung back into his apartment.
"Let's go," he says gently, hand on Yoongi's back as he guides him through the living room towards Yoongi's room. "You're going to bed."
Yoongi only sniffles.
When they're at Yoongi's bed the man drops himself onto it, bouncing lightly, before throwing himself onto his back.
His legs are still over the edge of the bed, feet dangling in the air awkwardly.
It's only now with Yoongi spread out on his back that Jungkook sees how damp with sweat the older's shirt is as if sticks to random parts of his skin.
It looks uncomfortable. It must be.
Without a word Jungkook goes over to Yoongi's dresser, pulling out items that will make up a new outfit for the older to sleep in.
The fact that Yoongi doesn't comment or protest at all when Jungkook starts maneuvering his body every which way as he strips him of all of his clothes and gets him redressed tells Jungkook all he needs to know about just how sick his hyung is.
"Have you had any medicine?" He asks once he's got all of Yoongi's dirty clothes put away in the hamper. "Not 'allergy' medicine, actual cold medicine?"
Yoongi groans as he lays back on his bed, pulling his knees to his chest.
"A couple hours. Jin hyung basically came here and forced me," he frowns.
Jungkook hums.
"Good. I'm glad at least someone knows the state you're in and was checking in on you," he comments, watching him closely.
If you weren't avoiding me I would have been here sooner he wants to say but doesn't.
He stands there for about thirty seconds, long enough to witness Yoongi give in to his exhaustion and fall asleep.
After throwing a blanket over the sleeping man Jungkook makes his way to the kitchen to take a look at what medicine Yoongi's been taking.
When he spots it on the table he goes to it, intending to pick it up and take a look, see when Yoongi might be able to take the next dose, but a notebook next to the medicine bottle catches his eye.
Normally he would ignore it, not wanting to snoop, but his eyes are drawn to the familiar writing anyway.
He shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't, but his curiosity gets the better of him.
As he scans the paper he realizes quickly that this is some sort of list. A pros and cons list to be specific.
It says things like I won't have to think and worry so much anymore, maybe he'll feel the same way, I'll get to keep making him happy, we can be a real couple and go on dates are on the left side of the paper.
On the right the list reads I'll lose my best friend, he'll never want to see me again, things will be awkward with our friend group if we aren't friends anymore, he won't feel the same and I'll be alone are on the other side.
Jungkook sits down on the kitchen chair, mind racing as he reads the words over and over.
This- this can't be about anyone but him, right?
He wants to think so, really really does, but he doesn't want to assume something, be wrong, and make things weird between them.
Honestly a lot if not all of these things are thoughts and worries Jungkook has had too.
He knew from the very start, before he even started sleeping with Yoongi, that he had a crush on him.
How could he not?
Yoongi is sweet and attentive and so gentle. He cares so much about all of his friends, is fiercely loyal, and he may not love loudly with words and grand gestures but the love he shows and offers freely is constantly available and there for the taking.
He loves so much, and wants to be loved.
Jungkook feels a wave a guilt at the thought that all this time he's been relying so much on Yoongi to make himself feel cherished and safe that he never really considered that he may not have been showing those feelings in return to Yoongi.
The guilt turns to anger at himself.
How could I be so greedy? He leans his elbows on the table, lowering his head and pressing his palms to his forehead.
Yoongi deserves better. He deserves to be loved.
And in that moment Jungkook decides he really wants to be the person to do it.
He drops his hands, pressing his palms to the table, ready to go to Yoongi and tell him all of this, but then he remembers the man is sick and asleep.
He huffs, pouting slightly.
He looks at the medicine then slides his eyes to the kitchen a few meters away.
He decides that he will wait until it is time to wake Yoongi for his next dose, he'll see how the man is feeling and at that point he'll decide if it's a good time for him to confess or not.
Yeah okay he nods to himself.
He reaches for the bottle, seeing the next dose can be taken in three and a half hours and decides that he will stay, get the house cleaned up, make some food for the two of them, something easy on the stomach in case Yoongi is feeling nauseous on top of his sore throat and coughing.
With a nod of his head he decides to start on his first task.
He grabs the trash can from under the sink and heads to the living room to start cleaning up.
From there he'll work his way down and by the time he's done it should be close to the time to give Yoongi his next dose of medicine.
Easy peasy.
.......
Jungkook flinches when he feels something nudging his cheek.
It's small. And it's more of a poke than a nudge.
It's irritating but it stops when he turns his head away.
His expression smooths, his brows relaxing as his mind begins drifting off again.
Then he hears his name being called.
The voice is deep, scratchy. He doesn't recognize it.
They sound congested. Like they need to blow their nose.
They sound sick-
Jungkook's eyes shoot open and he sits up so fast he nearly knocks heads with the person looming over him.
The person who had said his name.
He turns his head and is met with a grumpy looking Yoongi.
His nose is still red but he doesn't look clammy, sweaty, anymore.
"Your medicine," he thinks suddenly. "It's got to be time to-"
He turns to look at the table, where he'd left the medicine but sees that it's gone.
His brows furrow as he turns back to Yoongi.
"Where's the medicine?"
Yoongi leans away from the couch, sitting on his butt, legs stretched out in front of him.
"I took some when I woke up, so about-" he casts a glance at the clock hanging on his wall, "an hour ago."
"You've been awake for an hour? And you didn't wake me?" Jungkook reaches up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his fingers.
He remembers checking the clock after he was done with everything he'd wanted to get done and there was still about forty minutes or so before it was time for Yoongi's next dose.
He was tired and just wanted to rest his eyes but as he looks over at the clock he's sees he's been asleep for almost two and a half hours.
He groans, running his fingers through his disheveled hair.
Yoongi doesn’t say anything to that and when Jungkook looks back at the older man he’s watching him closely with a serious expression.
Like he’s studying Jungkook, but the younger isn’t really sure what he’s studying…
Maybe it’s the cold making him act off because in the next second it’s gone, his expression wiped clear.
Yoongi shrugs. "You cleaned my place and cooked. I figured you deserved some rest instead of taking care of a dying man."
"You had tissues everywhere, I had to clean," Jungkook swings his legs off the couch, placing his feet on the floor. "And unfortunately you had far less ingredients than I'd anticipated so all I was able to make was soup that is basically just noodles and beef broth."
The corner of Yoongi's lip twitches. "So basically ramen."
Jungkook sighs, keeping his eyes on Yoongi's face.
"It sounds better if we say soup. Soup is what you give the diseased when they're diseased."
Yoongi gafaws, "Don't call me diseased brat. That makes it sound way worse. Like I'm terminal."
"You've told me like half a dozen times that you're dying."
"I can joke about my own mortality Kook-ah. You cannot," he huffs before he begins to cough.
"Let me get you some water," he sighs, feeling bad that Yoongi is in this state.
Yoongi doesn't protest when Jungkook steps over his legs to head to the kitchen, not that he can due to the coughing.
And as Jungkook is setting a glass on the counter, pouring water from the pitcher he'd taken out of the fridge into it he realizes that the table is clear not just of the medicine but the notebook.
The notebook he nibbles his lip, nearly overfilling the glass as he begins cycling through what he'd read earlier in his mind.
Yoongi must have moved it... maybe he thinks– hopes– Jungkook hadn't seen it.
He has to know Jungkook had seen it.
He'd gone through and cleaned the whole apartment after all. Used every disinfectant wipe his hyung had in the container under the sink and wiped down every surface he could.
There's no way he wouldn't have seen it.
As he's placing the pitcher back in the fridge he decides he's going to bring it up.
He has to. He has to confirm if what Yoongi wrote is about him.
So he goes back to the living room, he hands the glass to Yoongi and asks him to sit on the couch next to him.
He turns his body and waits.
Yoongi drinks the glass slowly, eyes not meeting Jungkook's or even looking in his direction and that tells Jungkook that Yoongi may suspect what Jungkook is about to say.
He takes longer than necessary to drink the water, obviously stalling but when he's done he sets the glass down with a shaky exhale and moves to sit on the far end of the couch, basically as far away from Jungkook as he can be.
He then grabs one of the throw pillows to hug to his chest like a protective barrier.
Jungkook watches him, feeling guilty and a bit broken hearted that he looks like a scared animal that's been cornered.
"You don't need to be afraid of me," he says, quiet.
Yoongi doesn't say anything to that.
The silence stretches and it's not the silence Jungkook is used to between them.
It isn't comforting. It's tense, nearly beyond what he can handle.
It closes in around them and it pushes him to just say what he's thinking. What he's feeling.
He opens his mouth to do just that but Yoongi beats him to it.
"I'm sorry," he sniffles, this time with eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you. I'm-" he pauses, before adding in a quieter tone. Defeated. "I'm sorry I broke our promise."
Jungkook exhales a sound between a scoff and a laugh. "Our promise."
"We promised not to be weird."
"We also promised that there would be no strings attached," Jungkook points out and Yoongi flinches at that.
He takes a deep breath, as deep as he can with his sore throat and aching chest, is exhale shaky and weak.
"I'm sorry for breaking that promise too..."
Jungkook's eyes begin to water when he sees a tear slide down Yoongi's cheek.
He doesn't hesitate to move closer to the man.
He gets his knees under him and moves to Yoongi's side of the couch.
He gently lifts Yoongi's head.
His eyes stay cast down even as Jungkook runs his thumbs under his eyes, across his cheek, swiping the tear away.
He nibbles his lip, thinking.
"You won't lose a friend," he voices.
Yoongi looks up at him, brows furrowed.
Jungkook gazes at him, eyes soft, as he continues.
"I cannot imagine never seeing you again. And things might be awkward with our friend group, but only because they're going to be dramatic and nosy, but also so happy for us."
Yoongi's eyes slowly widen as he realizes what Jungkook is saying. That he's referencing Yoongi's list.
"I do feel the same," Jungkook's lip threatens to wobble as a wave of fondness– of love– crashes over him. "And you'll never be alone."
Yoongi can't hold back his tears any longer as he throws his arms around Jungkook.
They cry together and they probably look ridiculous, Yoongi so obviously sick, both of their faces wet with tears, but he could not care less.
Jungkook pulls away and guides Yoongi so he is kneeling on the couch too.
"For a while now, there have been so many strings attached hyung," he smiles. "Because I'm so in love with you."
Yoongi leans into Jungkook's space and Jungkook's eyes flutter closed as he waits, anticipation buzzing through his body, for lips to be pressed to his own-
But it doesn't happen.
Instead he hears a sneeze. A very loud sneeze followed by more sniffles.
He opens his eyes to see Yoongi turned away from him with his face buried in the crook of his elbow.
He looks back at Jungkook, cheeks red and eyes wide.
"I really was going to kiss you, I promise," he assures.
"Let's go to bed hyung," Jungkook coos, lifting Yoongi's hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles. "We can cuddle."
Yoongi shakes his head, "My room is like, ground zero for whatever I have. You're going to get sick."
Jungkook stands, pulling Yoongi up gently with the hand that's still securely in his.
"If I do then you can just take care of me like I'm doing for you," he grins. "Now let's go."
Yoongi lets himself be guided.
Once they're in Yoongi's room Jungkook tells Yoongi to get back into bed while he rummaged through his hyung's drawers looking for some clothes more suitable and comfortable to sleep in than what he currently has on.
He decides to just strip down right there in Yoongi's room rather than stepping into the bathroom to get changed.
He glances over once or twice and sees Yoongi's eyes roaming over his exposed skin each time.
He can't help but feel a little smug.
Once dressed he climbs into bed beside Yoongi.
He turns onto his side, scooting closer, the older man going pliant as he allows Jungkook to move him wherever he pleases, until Jungkook's chest is pressed against his side, arms wrapped around his waist.
He lets out a content sigh once he's snuggled in and comfortable.
"I love you too," Yoongi confesses. "If you didn't already get that."
"It's still nice to hear out loud," Jungkook sighs, pressing a kiss against Yoongi's arm.
"I'll say it as many times as you'd like for as long as you'll let me."
Jungkook opens his eyes and looks up to see Yoongi already looking at him.
"Let's plan on forever then," he grins, feeling fond fond fond.
"Okay," Yoongi agrees easily. "I love you."
"I love you too," he smiles. "And I'm so glad I finally get to say it out loud."
.......
"Kook-ah," Jungkook hears next to him.
He groans, pulling the pillow over his head tighter.
"Baby," he hears next, feeling lips on the back of his neck. "It's time for your next dose."
Jungkook pouts, trying to push away a smile as he removes the pillow.
"I didn't actually think I would get sick."
He turns onto he back before sitting up, gulping down the terrible liquid in the small cup.
He sticks his tongue out at the flavor, face scrunched in disgust.
"I warned you this would happen," Yoongi smiles, taking back the cup and setting it down on the bedside table, before reaching his hand up to press to Jungkook's forehead, checking his temperature.
Jungkook rolls his eyes, leaning into the touch.
"At least I have you to take care of me," he sighs, grateful.
"Whats that saying?" Yoongi pretends to wonder. "In sickness and in health?"
Jungkook stares, biting back a smile. "That's for married couples hyung."
Yoongi shrugs, running his fingers through Jungkook's hair. "Still, I promise to love you in sickness and in health."
Jungkook laughs but it comes out scratchy and more like a cough.
"We're not so good at keeping our promises hyung. Remember all the strings that got all tangled and very very attached?"
Yoongi tilts his head and Jungkook's heart swells at the warmth and love that shines in his eyes as he promises that this is a promises he will not break.
Jungkook continues looking deeply into the eyes of his sweet boyfriend whom he loves and adores.
"I love you," Jungkook breaths out. "And I believe you."
Yoongi smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss against Jungkook's forehead before pressing his forehead against Jungkook's.
"I love you too,"he breaths. "In sickness and in health, forever and always."