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Dylan felt like he had never hated anyone as much as the girl he had been trying to incinerate with his gaze for over half an hour. It was useless; the more he looked at her, the more he felt the urge to pour the alcoholic drink he was holding all over her. Especially when he saw her manicured fingers brushing the arm of his… friend.
Friend. That word spun around in his head so much it hurt. He always had a bitter taste in his mouth when he used it to describe Jun. Yet, that was what they were. Assuming that constantly bickering and throwing annoyed glares at each other from opposite corners of the room counted as friend behavior.
Dylan, however, couldn’t find any other words to describe the bond between them. When it came to Jun, it felt like riding a roller coaster without a harness.
If Jun did nothing but annoy him at breakfast, teasing him about his messy bedhead, he would make up for it in the evening by knocking on his bedroom door with a one-kilogram tub of cookie ice cream.
And if Jun scolded him while they were practicing choreography for the new album because he kept messing up the steps, two minutes later he would be right by his side, helping him patiently.
That was just how Jun was. In those moments, Dylan would always delude himself into believing he was special to someone. To Jun. But then he would see him being sweet to Po, or playing the flirt with whatever girl happened to be in front of him, and Dylan would feel like dying inside, calling himself a fool.
Dylan detested him. Actually, even worse. He was in love with him. That was exactly why it hurt so much.
And even though Dylan tried to hide it, he was afraid he wasn’t doing a very good job.
"P’Dylan, you’ve been staring at P’Jun for half an hour. Did you guys fight again?"
The silver-haired boy snapped around toward Nano, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, his nose buried in his drink.
"What? No!"
Dylan replied defensively, shaking his head energetically, completely focused on his best friend. He was certain that if he looked in that direction for one more second, he would run over to that girl and drag her out by her hair.
"…Okay, if you say so."
Nano gave him a doubtful look, obviously not buying his words. Dylan cursed himself mentally. He used to be so good at not showing his emotions, at locking himself in his own bubble with his headphones on. And now look what an idiot I am. It’s all Jun’s fault.
As soon as Nano turned away, going back to his conversation with Pepper, Dylan’s gaze inevitably went back to burning holes into the two figures glued to each other, chatting quietly across the room. It was unavoidable.
Resisting the temptation to watch the girl’s every move and Jun’s reaction was impossible for Dylan. He found himself staring at the brunette more often than he cared to admit.
He felt his heart being squeezed by barbed wire the moment the girl’s fingers began to playfully lift the tank top Jun was wearing, exposing his perfect abs. And when she leaned close to his ear to whisper something, bursting into laughter a second later, Dylan had to restrain himself from punching something.
What Dylan hated most was that it was obvious she was only hitting on Jun because he was a celebrity. None of the girls who constantly swarmed around him actually cared about how Jun was the least selfish person on Earth—when he wanted to be—or that he hated dark chocolate so much that just smelling it made him nauseous.
Dylan had no right to get mad at anyone hitting on Jun; he and the brunette were nothing. They barely got along and coexisted peacefully.
That, however, never stopped him from feeling strange sensations every time Jun was around. Every time he smiled at him, Dylan’s stomach fluttered with happiness as a thousand butterflies danced inside. Dylan would delude himself that that smile was special, reserved only for him.
But the butterflies suffocated and died the moment he watched Jun dance with the first person who touched him, blinking his eyelashes in that annoying way, just like right now. Sometimes Jun made Dylan feel like he was on cloud nine; other times, he made him plummet straight into the magma of a volcano.
"Dyl, you okay?"
Thame’s hand entered Dylan’s field of vision, moving up and down rhythmically. Beside him, Po was staring at Dylan with a raised eyebrow and the smile of someone who knew something they absolutely shouldn’t.
"Sure, why?"
Dylan went to take a sip of his drink, only to realize it was already empty. He reached toward the table packed with alcohol next to Pepper and Nano, and refilled his glass, this time mixing multiple drinks together. If he wanted to survive this party his friends had dragged him to against his will, alcohol was his only option.
"Uh, I don’t know. You’re acting weird."
Dylan rolled his eyes at Thame’s words. He was perfectly fine. What was wrong with his friends all of a sudden, worrying so much about him? He was just annoyed by Jun, the way he had always been. What was different?
Dylan got his answer when his gaze unconsciously drifted back to the corner of the room where Jun and the girl had been standing just two seconds prior, only to find no one there.
He gripped his glass so tightly that Thame, next to him, feared his face would soon be covered in glass shards. Po and his boyfriend exchanged a look—one knowing, the other worried.
Dylan ignored them completely, wondering where Jun and that clingy girl had disappeared to. Had they gone to make out somewhere? Dylan felt nausea grip his stomach, but despite that, he chugged half his drink in a single gulp.
"P’, aren’t you overdoing it a bit with the alcohol?"
Nano stared at his friend with a worried look, exchanging a doubtful glance with Pepper, who just shrugged, oblivious to what was happening inside Dylan’s head.
The silver-haired boy didn’t answer the younger one; instead, he finished his drink and let his gaze wander across the entire room. He could already feel his head getting heavier as he searched for a mop of brown hair among the crowd. Nothing else mattered to him in that moment except finding Jun.
That girl could take anyone else home, but not Jun. Dylan would stop her by any means necessary. He would force her to look away from the brunette; she could look at the floor, the ceiling, or anyone else she wanted, but not Jun.
Dylan was tired of that tight sensation always gripping his chest and the pit of his stomach. From now on, he would make sure Jun never went with any of those girls looking for fame and money.
Dylan nearly fainted with relief when he saw Jun and the girl from earlier busy talking, instead of kissing secretly somewhere. His heart plummeted to the bottom of his ribcage, though, when he realized they were heading in his direction.
The girl’s fingers were wrapped around Jun’s arm, but he didn’t even seem to notice, as he was busy waving at his friends to join them.
Seeing the two of them approach, Pepper whistled in surprise. "Jun, I can’t believe you actually managed to score someone," he joked, smirking under his breath and nimbly dodging a punch the brunette tried to throw at him.
"Who’s this?" Thame asked Jun, smiling politely at the girl, who wasn’t gracing anyone with a glance and was focused entirely on rubbing her chest against Jun.
Realizing she had been mentioned, she forced a wry smile at Thame and replied, "Vanessa." As if suddenly remembering the people she was talking to, she softened her tone and smiled in a way Dylan found nauseating. "It’s a pleasure to meet you guys."
Dylan had never heard a uglier name, and he certainly had never seen a faker smile. He snorted an ironic laugh without even realizing it, drawing a frown from Nano, who stared at him. Dylan glared at the girl with a raised eyebrow; why was she acting like she was their friend?
Jun, who hadn’t opened his mouth yet, had his eyes locked on Dylan, who pretended not to notice his persistent stare. He was sick of the mixed signals Jun kept sending him. First, he acted like Dylan was the most important person in his life, and then he pushed him aside for some random girl he just met. This time, he wasn't going to let him win.
"Jun, shall we go somewhere else?"
Dylan felt like dying inside hearing that girl speak to the brunette in that sugary, singsong tone, but he didn't let it show. No one could find out that he was drowning deeper and deeper in the sea of his thoughts every time he witnessed a scene like this.
Jun didn’t answer her; he was too busy watching Dylan. He had noticed his stranger-than-usual behavior immediately—he always noticed. Dylan wasn’t looking at him, wasn’t talking to him, acting as if Jun didn’t even exist to him.
Jun felt lost when Dylan didn’t pay attention to him, feeling like a lost, affection-starved puppy always trying to keep Dylan's eyes on him. Had he done something wrong without realizing it? Was that why Dylan wouldn't even look at him?
Jun was fine with enduring Dylan’s passive-aggressive behavior; nobody would believe that he actually liked that side of the boy. The thing Jun couldn’t stand was being ignored. Especially by Dylan, because he was the hardest one in the group to get along with, and the most difficult to fully understand. And he was also the one Jun wanted to spend the most time with.
He preferred being insulted by him over watching him act like he didn’t care about Jun at all. Because Jun could feel that Dylan, at least a little bit, did care about him. Maybe not as much as Jun cared about Dylan, though.
Whenever Dylan had those strange moments, Jun always tried to spark something in him, to annoy him enough to force a reply. Even if it meant getting yelled at by the silver-haired boy. And he tried it that night at the party, too.
"Why the long face, Dylan? Did you get dumped?"
The rapper threw a freezing glare at him in response. He wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of letting him hear his voice. Thame looked back and forth between the two boys, wondering what he had missed in this whole ordeal, because he didn't understand a thing anymore. It wasn't unusual for them to fight, or for Jun to provoke Dylan, but something about this situation felt off to him. Beside him, Po watched the scene with an arched eyebrow.
"Or are you jealous?" Jun cursed himself immediately after uttering those words, when Dylan's gaze finally locked onto him. He stared at him coldly, perhaps trying to incinerate him on the spot, and Jun hoped he would open his mouth and say something. Anything. But the rapper didn't speak; he just looked at him. And in his eyes, the brunette saw pain and anger mixed together, leaving Jun feeling completely lost.
Po, noticing that Dylan was in no mood to talk, let alone with Jun, decided to step in. He gave Jun a light elbow nudge, shaking his head and signaling him to leave the rapper alone.
Dylan, on the other hand, was not doing well at all. He felt nauseous, and his head was spinning like a top every now and then. He tried to think about how many drinks he had had since the start of the night, but he couldn't remember.
He felt even worse when, looking up from the ground, he saw Vanessa slowly kissing Jun's neck right in front of him. Dylan made a disgusted face at the sight, mirroring Pepper and Nano next to him, who were wondering what they had done wrong to have to endure that little show.
Dylan had had enough. The only thing he wanted right then was to go home and crawl under the covers with his beloved headphones on. And maybe cry a little, with a hand over his mouth. Getting caught crying over an idiot like Jun was the last thing he wanted.
"I'm leaving."
He mumbled, though the words weren't entirely clear to his friends, who looked at him perplexed.
"Do you want to go home, P’Dylan?" Nano asked, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder, who looked like he might collapse to the floor at any second. The alcohol was kicking in sooner than Dylan had expected. Or maybe it was just the realization of what kind of person Jun truly was that was making him feel this way.
"P’Po and I will take you home, Dyl," Thame offered, sliding an arm around Dylan’s waist and looking at him with a slightly worried frown. It wasn’t like him to get drunk so easily; Thame didn’t even want to imagine how many drinks his friend had had. He hated himself for not paying enough attention to him during the evening.
But Dylan resisted, pushing Thame’s chest away with one hand. "No, you guys stay. I'll go by myself," he slurred, his mind completely clouded by the alcohol and his vision slightly blurred. He couldn't ruin his friends' night just because his heart was broken. He would take a taxi back, or just walk.
"Dylan," Po called out, reaching for his arm to keep him from falling when he saw Dylan take a step toward the exit.
The silver-haired boy must have underestimated the effect the alcohol had on his body, because when he took a second step, he ended up tripping over his own feet, nearly crashing ruinously to the floor.
Fortunately—or maybe not—his face didn't make contact with the ground, and Dylan soon found himself supported by an arm wrapped tightly around his waist. He looked up, expecting to find Pepper or Thame or Po holding him up. He scoffed in annoyance when he realized he had landed right in Jun's arms.
"I’ll take him home, I haven't drank tonight," the brunette said, turning to his friends, who were too busy staring at the two boys in surprise to actually listen to what he was saying.
"Get the fuck off me," Dylan protested, trying to pry Jun’s hands away, which kept him anchored to his body for fear he might fall again. "Let me go."
"Stop complaining, you're annoying," Jun shot back, rolling his eyes and failing to understand how alcohol managed to make Dylan even more insufferable than when he was sober. Not that Jun disliked it.
Dylan didn’t give up that easily; within seconds, he locked eyes on Jun’s left foot and stomped on it with his own, breaking free from his protective grip.
"Asshole, I told you to leave me alone," he snapped back, turning his back on him and making a move to walk away from the party.
"Guys, please, don’t—" Nano intervened, knowing that when those two started fighting, they wouldn't stop for at least a solid half hour. He didn't even have time to finish his sentence before Jun opted for a move reserved only for critical moments like this.
Without the slightest warning, he grabbed Dylan by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "Which part of the sentence don't you get—" As if Dylan weighed nothing at all, Jun hoisted him over his shoulder, cutting him off completely.
"Oh, shit," Thame muttered under his breath, exchanging a look with Po, sensing the worst for the rest of the night.
"Dude, I don’t think—" Pepper tried to stop him, aware, like everyone else, that Dylan was going to be absolutely furious. Plus, with everything he had drunk, they were afraid he would throw up his Christmas lunch all over Jun.
"P’, you're in trouble," Nano warned him, taking a sip of his drink and burying his face back in the glass.
"Dylan’s wrath is something tomorrow-me will deal with," the brunette muttered before turning his back on his friends and walking through the crowd.
Jun didn't hear what Po said; he was already at the front door, fumbling with the handle to leave the house.
"Jun, I swear to God, if you don't put me down, I will destroy you, you hear me?" Dylan shouted, kicking with what little strength he had left in his bones and pounding his fists against the brunette's back, who said nothing in response.
"The moment I get down from here, I'm ending your life," the silver-haired boy continued. He had stopped flailing his legs but kept hammering his fists against Jun relentlessly. The latter merely sighed. The night was still long, and he had all the time in the world to finally figure out what was wrong with Dylan. He wasn’t going to leave the rapper alone until the reason he was acting this way came to light.
"Can you hold still, please?"
Dylan let out an ironic laugh, unable to believe his ears. It had been Jun's brilliant idea to carry him on his shoulder, and he was the one complaining?
"God, I detest you."
Jun sighed, feeling his heart ache at the statement, even though he knew Dylan’s words were just a front. After a few seconds, Dylan realized they had reached the parking lot. Jun’s car was waiting patiently near a lamppost, its headlights flashing briefly as the brunette pulled out the key fob and unlocked the vehicle.
Only when Jun reached the passenger side did he decide to set Dylan down and open the door. The latter adjusted the sleeves of his hoodie, mentally cursing the boy in front of him.
"What the fuck is your problem? Why did you drag me out here? Have you lost your mind?"
The alcohol seemed to have left Dylan's body during those few seconds he had spent dangling over Jun’s shoulder. The brunette didn’t answer with words, but simply observed Dylan with a close, apprehensive gaze.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" Just as Jun expected, Dylan didn’t take it very well.
"What’s wrong with you?" Jun changed the subject, leaning a hand on the roof of the car so that Dylan wouldn’t even get the remote idea of running away from him, as he usually did. Every time Jun wanted to talk to him seriously and help him, the rapper would bail, slipping his headphones on and isolating himself from the world, isolating himself from him. This time, the brunette was going to win the battle.
Dylan clenched his hands into fists, feeling anger boil in his veins. Weighing heavily on his chest, instead, was fear. Dylan was terrified that Jun might have sensed what was causing his reaction. But that was information the rapper had sworn to take to his grave, because it was impossible for Jun to return his feelings. In no universe could that happen.
Dylan, to avoid being hurt, preferred to die inside. Day after day, watching the jealousy and pain grow as Jun held other people in his arms, suffocating him and leaving him voiceless. That was why Dylan stayed quiet, helpless, feigning indifference.
He took a deep breath, his eyes locked onto Jun's. The brunette hoped that the desperation bleeding through his own gaze would be enough to make the rapper spill the beans.
"I changed my mind, I'm going back inside," Dylan said instead, making Jun sigh, unable to help feeling defeated. The brunette was ready to chase after Dylan, to hoist him over his shoulder and drag him back to the car if necessary, but seconds ticked by and the rapper didn't move.
His feet were still planted on the ground and his hands were clenched into fists; his eyes had narrowed into two slits. Jun managed to catch a strange spark passing through them before Dylan spoke again.
"Actually, you go inside," the brunette frowned, confused. Why should he go back inside? Jun wanted to stay right there, with Dylan, looking into his eyes and clashing with his stubbornness. Jun always found himself wherever Dylan was. To the brunette, the rapper was like his North Star: without him, he felt lost, and he couldn't help but follow him.
"Go have fun with Vanessa," Dylan's voice trembled slightly, whether from anger or pain, the rapper no longer knew. "I don't want to ruin your night."
Even though a voice in his head told him to turn around and run, Dylan stood frozen, staring at Jun. Dylan wanted the brunette to leave him alone, to turn his back on him and forget him. Maybe that way, Dylan would finally find some peace and a part of his heart would stop hoping for something that could never happen.
But Jun didn't move an inch; he just kept staring at the rapper. He could have spent hours observing Dylan’s face, which never failed to bewitch him like a spell.
His eyes, which always looked smaller than they actually were because the rapper narrowed them often when he was annoyed or angry, just like right now.
His full, rosy lips made Jun wish he could press his own against them, to see if they were actually as soft as they looked. If Dylan didn't tell him what was wrong within ten minutes, Jun swore to himself he would do it. He would kiss him. Maybe that way he would be able to draw the words out of him himself.
His silver hair fell over the sides of his eyes, giving him an even more intimidating look. That was the first impression Dylan made on everyone, but Jun didn't buy into it anymore.
"No," the brunette answered resolutely, his eyes glued to the rapper's. "I want to stay with you," he admitted, his voice lower than a second ago and his face relaxed. With his gaze, he was begging Dylan to believe him and not run away from him.
The silver-haired boy cursed mentally as he felt his eyes sting, just like they did during a storm. Shivers traveled down his spine, jolting him and bringing him back to reality.
He hadn't even realized how little distance separated his face from Jun’s, and he hated himself for letting this entire situation happen. He felt his heart on the verge of breaking for the thousandth time, so he doubled his defensive walls and stood on guard to protect it.
"Fuck off, Jun."
The brunette didn't react to Dylan's provocation, fully aware of the game he was playing. He wanted to push him to leave, but that was never going to happen.
"Dyl—" Jun was cut off by a sob, which didn't come from his own mouth, but from Dylan’s. The brunette froze, staring at him, wondering if it was better to comfort him or leave him be. Dylan was unpredictable; he didn't know what to do. Jun was dying to wrap him in his arms and wipe away all his tears.
"Why?" Dylan whimpered, his voice shaking. Jun soon realized that the only reason the rapper was showing himself so vulnerable in his eyes was solely due to the alcohol circulating in his system.
"Why do you have to do this to me?" For the first time in his life, Jun found himself at a loss for words.
"Dylan, I—" The silver-haired boy didn’t even give him time to finish his sentence, as he dove into the passenger seat, shutting the door with a thud. Jun took a few seconds to think.
In less than a minute, he had dragged Dylan back out of the car. "Don’t fucking touch me," Dylan tried to shake him off, attempting to drive an elbow into his ribs while, with his hands on his arms, Jun pulled him back to his feet in front of him.
"I want to go home, idiot," Dylan tried to get back onto the passenger seat, despite Jun's firm grip still on his arms, but the brunette blocked him.
"We’re not going home until you tell me what the hell is wrong with you," Jun insisted, staring at him bewildered. The more time passed with Dylan avoiding him, the more he wanted to know what the rapper was thinking.
"You're delusional," Dylan replied sharply, incinerating Jun with a glare.
"You think?" Jun raised an eyebrow, staring at him with a frown. It was obviously ironic; he understood Dylan didn't want to talk about it.
"Dylan, what's the problem?" Jun tried again, searching with his gaze for Dylan’s eyes, which seemed determined to avoid the brunette's as much as possible. The brunette sighed, and feeling the need to be looked at by Dylan, he took his chin with two fingers and forced his face in his direction.
"You're stubborn as hell, fuck," he muttered, noticing the shadow of annoyance on Dylan's face as he realized Jun was getting the upper hand. And soon Dylan also realized that running away was no longer an option; not just because with Jun’s body in front of his and his back pressed against the car behind him, escaping the brunette without a struggle was impossible, but also because, with his chest brushing against Jun’s, he didn't want to leave that sensation.
There was so little distance between them that Dylan could feel the warmth spreading from Jun toward him. Neither of them was even surprised by the few centimeters separating them, and anyone looking from the outside might have thought that this was normal for them.
But it wasn't. In fact, Dylan thought that only in his dreams could he ever find himself at this distance from Jun. The latter stared into the rapper's eyes, hoping that through them alone he could understand what Dylan was thinking.
"Don't look at me like that," Dylan muttered, attempting to sound menacing, but only causing Jun to knit his brows in confusion as a small smile began to creep onto his face.
Dylan swallowed. He hated when it was obvious that Jun hadn't the slightest clue of the effect he had on the rapper. And Jun found it adorable how Dylan never seemed to understand his desire to be with him.
"Like what?" Jun whispered, tilting his head to the side and involuntarily eyeing Dylan's lips, which lay invitingly just centimeters from his own. *Were we this close before?* Dylan thought, feeling his breath catch as he clenched his hand around the sleeve of his hoodie.
"Like you're trying to read me," Dylan forced himself to say, expecting Jun to burst out laughing and reply with something like "I already know what you're thinking."
Instead, Jun smiled—not one of his usual smirks, but a softer curve that made Dylan's heart skip yet another beat. In fact, from how fast it was beating, Dylan thought it might burst at any moment.
"That's what I've been trying to do my whole life, Dylan," he whispered, raising his eyebrows and waiting for the rapper's reaction, but noticing none, he continued. "You could just tell me what's going through your head, hm?" Jun’s fingers found Dylan’s, lightly brushing against them.
"You really can't mind your own business, can you?" Dylan snapped crossly, convinced Jun would get tired of the conversation and go back to the party.
"No, not when it comes to you. Sorry to disappoint," Jun said ironically. He let out a surprised gasp when Dylan grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, bringing the tips of their noses together and staring at him with an indignant expression and a tense jaw.
"Stop pretending you give a shit about me. Go back to your girlfriend." Dylan realized what he had said only when it was too late. And Jun's reaction lived up to his expectations. Indeed, the brunette widened his eyes in confusion, searching Dylan's gaze for an explanation for the words he had just uttered.
Jun didn't understand what Dylan was talking about. What girlfriend? The one he had put up with at the party just to avoid thinking about the fact that Dylan hadn't spoken a word to him all day? He couldn't even remember her name, not when the boy in front of him was staring at him waiting for a reaction with that look that seemed to beg Jun to kiss him.
And besides, Dylan should have known that Jun cared about him immensely. The brunette didn't know how else to show him that, besides Dylan, there was no one else for him.
"What are you talking about?" Jun muttered breathlessly, his mouth brushing against Dylan's. The latter swallowed as the brunette's warm breath crashed against his lips, paralyzing him.
Dylan couldn't bring himself to hold Jun's tormented gaze any longer, which was trying to communicate a thousand things without uttering a word. Too bad Dylan couldn't read his mind; Jun needed to open his mouth and say how things stood once and for all.
With a fluid motion, Dylan stomped on Jun's foot and broke free from his grip. The brunette noticed just in time to catch him by the wrist and pull him back in front of him. At the exact instant Dylan found himself glued to the car door once again, Jun's lips sought his. And they found them in half a second, with absolutely no intention of letting them go.
The kiss was chaotic, lips sticking together and nosesbumping into eachother. Dylan's hands went up and reached Jun's face, grabbing his cheeks with a softness that didn't fit in that picture. Jun didn't resist the impulse to grab and surround teh rapper's small waist with his arms and pull him close.
Jun was starving for phisical contac, he needed to feel Dylan's hands on his face, his waist against his own, and their lips become a single thing. Jun's tongue crashed into Dylan's theeth, asking for access, and when Dylan let him, Jun let out a satisfied moan.
But the brunette found himself crying out a second later, finding out Dylan ha bit him. His bottom lip was probably bleeding, but he didn't care. With a bad-hidden grin, and his mouth still on Dylan's, moved his hands from the rapper's waist to his lowerback.
He was careful to linger on every piece of exposed skin on Dylan's body he could find, thanks to the sweater that was now almost off. Reached his goal, Jun diidn't think twice before putting his hands on Dylan's ass and squeeze firmly.
The silver-haired guy found himself stunned. "What an asshole" he murmued, breathless, breaking apart from Jun's mouth and pushing him with a punch on his shoulder. Jun laughed heartily, leaning back for a couple of seconds before leaning in toward the rapper and wrapping his arms around his waist. He slipped his hands into the back pockets of Dylan’s jeans and pulled him close with a sudden movement.
“Always blaming me, huh?” he asked amusedly, rubbing the tip of his nose against the other boy’s cheek.
“Of course, whose else would it be if not yours?” he replied in kind, feigning a superior attitude, which was immediately swept away by another kiss from the brown-haired boy.
Unlike the first, this one was slower. Jun had no intention of missing a single detail of Dylan’s lips, because when would he ever get to kiss the rapper again? Even though it broke his heart, the brown-haired boy knew that the next day Dylan would act like nothing had happened and go back to hating him.
“Stop thinking, I can hear the gears in your brain turning,” Dylan whispered between kisses, running one hand down Jun’s back and burying the other in his brown hair.
A minute later, Jun found himself completely at the rapper’s mercy. He no longer knew how to breathe; he could barely stand on his own because of the way Dylan was kissing him. His lips were suffocating, possessive—they left you no escape.
When Dylan’s hand took Jun’s and guided it to the zipper of his jeans, Jun seemed to snap back to reality and pulled away from the kiss, gasping for air.
“No, Dyl, wait,” he murmured breathlessly, finding the rapper’s misty eyes staring right back at him.
“We can’t. Not like this, I…” He couldn’t find the words. Jun was terrified at the thought that Dylan would forget everything the next morning. He couldn’t bear it. And he was about to explain it to him, to smile at him, saying that he was dying to be with Dylan but not like this.
But Dylan, who always jumped to conclusions, wasn’t grinning anymore. His eyes no longer sparkled with excitement. His hands let go of Jun’s and fell to his sides.
“You don’t want me,” he said aloud, swallowing hard, as if admitting those words had cost him everything.
“What?” Jun was shocked; he didn’t understand a thing. How could he think something like that? And how on earth had he come to that conclusion?
“I’m not good enough for you; I’ve always known it.” Dylan looked away from Jun, furrowed his brow, and smiled bitterly. “Go back inside; I’ll take a taxi.” He shoved Jun aside and turned to go back to the car.
Jun wouldn’t let him. He took his face in his hands and kissed him again. It lasted only a couple of seconds, just long enough to leave Dylan speechless, then he pulled away and began to speak.
“I won’t let you push me away like you always do, Dylan. Now open your ears and listen to me carefully.”
“I like you. I—damn it, Dylan. I’ve liked you ever since I first saw you at the agency. So don’t even joke about me not wanting you, got it? Have you ever wondered why I’m always hanging around you?”
Jun realized Dylan wasn’t going to say anything, so he continued, smiling hopefully. For once, he’d managed to leave Dylan speechless.
“Dylan, I can’t be without you. I provoke you to get you to talk to me. I drape my legs over you when we watch movies on the couch to remind myself you’re there with me. Every Thursday I ‘accidentally’ make your favorite coffee because I know you have to go to the studio in the afternoon to record until late at night. I’ve been in love with you forever, Dylan, and honestly, as sharp as you are, I’m surprised you’ve never noticed. You’re adorable, Dylan. The way you pout every time something doesn’t go your way, or when Nano wants to fix your hair and you don’t say a word because no one can say no to Nano. You’re charming; every time you step on stage, I can’t help but stare at you. And every time you neglect yourself, skip meals, don’t sleep, isolate yourself… I feel an ever-growing urge to be by your side and protect you. ”
Jun felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his chest. He was panting slightly, because opening up to Dylan—who still hadn’t reacted—had been more exhausting than he’d ever expected. But even if Dylan had rejected him, he wouldn’t have regretted speaking up. Dylan needed to know that there was someone who loved him, because he deserved that love.
Meanwhile, inside Dylan’s mind, his neurons had gone haywire. They were racing from one side of his brain to the other, and his tongue seemed to have gone numb all at once.
“I—” he closed his mouth. “You—”
Jun raised an eyebrow, watching him with eyes full of hope and lips turned up at the corners.
“You think I’m adorable?” Dylan tried, with all his might, to look disgusted and confused as he spoke those words. He really tried so hard. But Jun, who knew him all too well, saw his lips curl up slightly and his cheeks turn red, while his eyes lit up.
Jun burst out laughing, shaking his head and staring at Dylan in disbelief. “Is that the only part you heard?” he asked, amused, and Dylan rolled his eyes, shoving him just enough to make him take a step back.
“I’m not adorable,” he retorted, pouting his lips, as he usually did when he was annoyed. But Jun knew it was just an act.
“Oh, really? Would you like a mirror?” Jun couldn’t hold back any longer, so without a moment’s hesitation, he hugged Dylan, resting his chin on his shoulder.
The rapper stiffened in surprise at first, but then returned the embrace, wrinkling his nose when the brunet’s hair tickled his nostrils.
“If I kiss you again, will you punch me?” Jun asked, sounding hopeful yet a little worried.
Dylan pretended to think about it for a couple of seconds, but took advantage of being out of Jun’s sight to smile triumphantly.
“Hmm, I don’t know. Go ahead if you dare,” he challenged, raising his eyebrows as Jun broke the grip to look him in the eyes.
Jun smiled, accepting the challenge. But just as he was leaning in to meet Dylan’s inviting lips with his own, Dylan stopped him, pulling back slightly.
Dylan locked eyes with the brunette.
“What about Vanessa?” he asked, his tone a mix of annoyance and doubt. He wanted to be sure Jun was serious, that Jun wanted only him.
Jun blinked, and Dylan saw his eyes clear of all thought.
“Who?”
And Dylan couldn’t help but laugh heartily when he saw that Jun really had no idea who he was talking about.
Before Jun could ask anything else, the rapper lunged at his mouth, not even giving him time to brace himself.
And as Jun and Dylan kissed, leaning against the brunette’s car in the parking lot, their friends watched them from the back door of the house, each with a totally different reaction.
Nano had his phone camera pointed at the two guys, filming them so he could blackmail them in the future, and he smiled triumphantly, happy that his ship had finally become a reality.
Pepper sighed, thanking heaven that they had finally put an end to all that sexual tension that had been hanging in the air for months—no, years—and hoped that from then on, their arguments would decrease so he wouldn’t get a headache.
Po smiled and clapped silently, all the while thinking of scenes between the two guys to include in their next music video, to feed the fans’ craving for their chemistry.
And then there was Thame, staring at the scene with his mouth and eyes wide open. He tapped Pepper on the shoulder and pointed at the two boys. “What did I miss?” he muttered, and when he received only a chuckle and a nod in response, he realized he’d missed an entire book while he was busy trying to win Po over.