Chapter Text
“We’re here!” Ben announced as he turned his Range Rover onto the familiar country lane.
“Thank God,” Colin mumbled from the passenger seat. His forehead had been throbbing ever since they left London.
The cause of his overwhelm let out an extended, ear-piercing shriek from the backseat, an irritating habit Greg had picked up in the months since Colin had seen his youngest brother.
“Gregory!” Ben snapped. “For the love of God, can you please not do that while we are in a confined space?”
“Can he please not do it at all?” Hyacinth whined before smacking Greg with the notebook she’d been doodling in with Daphne.
“Penelope thinks it’s cool,” Greg said as if this was all the validation he needed. “She told me so before we left.”
Colin glanced in the side mirror to see a proud look on his brother’s face and shook his head. In the few days that he’s been home from Greece, he’d lost count of the number of times Greg had mentioned Penelope Featherington, Eloise’s best friend and the girl he’d secretly been in love with for years. It’s obvious Greg’s developed a crush on her too, not that Colin could blame him. Pen was undeniably gorgeous.
It was also obvious that Greg felt no shame about this, which was a level of self-assurance Colin could relate to.
Embarrassing that you’re twenty years old and your little brother is more confident with girls than you are.
“Would you two cut it out!” Daphne snapped at Gregory and Hyacinth, who were flicking each other in the face and neck as hard as they could. “I knew I should have ridden in the other car. You guys are such babies.”
“She started it!” Greg insisted.
“Did not!” Hyacinth retorted.
Colin closed his eyes and focused on breathing in and out through his nose, willing the pain in his head to lessen. As much as he loved his family, facing an entire summer with them was going to give him an aneurysm unless he got some space soon.
The second Benedict’s car came to a stop in the gravel driveway, Colin flung open the door and stomped away from the vehicle. He stretched his arms and breathed in the fresh air of Aubrey Hall, letting the familiar scent of the flowers blooming by the front door and the woodsy fragrance from the nearby forest comfort him. He had so many happy memories here: days spent lazing in the sun down by the lake and playing games with his family on the vast lawn, summers and Christmases and spring holidays, long weekends in the autumn picking pumpkins, pears, and plums from local farms. Aubrey Hall was one of his favorite places in the world. Even with a raging headache, it was good to be back.
He tilted his face upward toward the sun and relished the last of this momentary silence; if only he could bottle the quiet as a tonic for the inevitable chaos that would come over the next two months.
Anthony pulled up beside Colin in his Mercedes SUV and turned off the engine.
“Wuddup, losers,” Eloise proclaimed when she opened the car door. Seeing Colin’s look of distress, she asked, “Nice, quiet ride? How many times did Greg make that terrible noise before we hit the motorway?”
Colin pinched the bridge of his nose. “You don’t want to know.”
“Sucks to suck,” Penelope said cheerily. She jumped down beside Eloise and grinned up at him, the sight of which caused his heart to skip a beat. Short and curvy with bright red hair, light blue eyes, and the prettiest pattern of freckles dotting her skin, Penelope Featherington was the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen. “We offered for you to sit with us, but you chose Benedict instead so you have no one but yourself to blame. Amongst other things, you missed Anthony’s truly appalling rendition of ‘Love On Top’, which is a memory I will personally cherish forever. I’m pretty sure at one point he was singing notes only dogs can hear.”
Colin raised an eyebrow. “You sure that wasn’t you? The last time I heard you do karaoke, I seem to recall you making a few interesting harmony choices yourself.”
She gasped, a falsely offended glint in her eyes. “How dare you! You promised me you’d never mention that night ever again!” She made to slap his arm, but he moved out of reach just in time.
“Help me with the bags, Colin?” Ben asked from the boot of his car.
Pen narrowed her eyes at him in a this-isn’t-over-yet glare and spun on her heel toward the front door where his mum and Anthony were working on the ancient lock.
“Sure thing,” Colin told Benedict, entranced by the hypnotic sway of her hips.
Their luggage seemed to have multiplied since they left town; he couldn’t remember Daphne packing four suitcases or Greg bringing enough football equipment to outfit an entire team, but eventually he and Ben emptied the boot of all their belongings.
As Ben shut the door, Colin allowed himself a glance in Pen’s direction. She was chatting with Eloise and Daphne, the sun catching in her copper-colored hair when she tossed it over her shoulder, turning it fire-bright. She laughed, and he found himself fascinated by the shape of her mouth and the pleasing way it formed her quip to whatever Daphne said.
How was it possible for one person to be so beautiful?
“Hello, earth to Colin?” Ben snapped his fingers in his face.
“Sorry, what?” Colin said with a jolt.
“I said you can take these in now.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah.” Face burning, he tossed several rucksacks over his shoulder, grabbed a suitcase in each hand, and marched through the open door into the foyer.
Twenty minutes later, Colin flopped onto his bed and let out a heavy sigh. He’d deposited all the bags from Ben’s car to their owners’ rooms and now had a few free hours before dinner, which he planned on making the most of by doing absolutely nothing. Anthony and Ben had invited him to the lake, but he needed some alone time if he was going to survive the rest of this day.
Eloise cackled nearby and the sound was like nails on a chalkboard to his overstimulated brain. With a grunt, he got to his feet and walked to the door, intent on shutting everyone out. But before he could close it, he spotted Penelope kneeling on the bed in the room opposite his own and froze. The light streaming in through the windows was bathing her in an angelic glow, and she was so pretty and so unattainable that his mouth ran dry and, for a second, he forgot to breathe.
She was staying in the room across the hall?
Was the universe trying to torture him?
Quietly, so he didn’t attract the notice of Pen and El, he shut the door and padded back to his bed where he fell face-first onto the covers like a marionette cut from its strings.
No one knew about his crush on Penelope – and thank God, because he’d never hear the end of it if his family was aware of his feelings for her. He’d wondered over the years how they hadn’t picked up on it, but maybe because he’d been in love with her since the day they met, his family had assumed his adoration of her was normal. This was probably helped by the flirty way she interacted with him in return, which they all knew didn't mean anything. Pen flirted with everyone. (This particular habit of hers drove him crazy with jealousy, especially when she aimed this at his brothers.)
He’d tried shaking off his inconvenient feelings for her in the ten years he’d known her, but it never stuck. She was too magnetic for him to pull away for too long. And besides, why wouldn’t he love Penelope? She was brilliant, stunning, funny, and most of all, kind to everyone she met. Especially to him, who often felt out of sorts in social situations. Oddly, he’s never really felt that way with her. She’s one of the few people who he’s comfortable enough around to be his real self in her presence.
Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t dazzled by her on a regular basis.
He thought about the fact that she was going to be staying in the room directly across from him all summer and his stomach twisted with a confusing mixture of anxiety and anticipation. In past years when she visited Aubrey Hall, she slept in El’s room at the other end of the corridor. But this year, supposedly because she’s staying with them the entire summer, his mum declared it was time she had her own room. He should have known that would mean she’d get the bedroom across from his own since it was the only empty option, the one they usually reserved for guests. But now that he was faced with the knowledge that Penelope was going to be sleeping just a few meters away from him, showering just across the hall, slipping out of her clothes within earshot at the end of each day…
Colin groaned. He was so screwed.
A rhythmic knock sounded on the door, making him jump.
Steeling himself for whatever sibling shenanigans he was about to encounter, he pushed up from the bed.
To his amazement, it was Penelope smiling up at him when he opened the door. Even more amazing was the fact that she’d changed into a bright blue bikini, which she hadn’t bothered to cover up with any other clothing save for a towel slung over one shoulder. His eyes darted down to her chest before he could stop himself, and the sight of her round, freckled breasts existing there so openly in front of him made him feel lightheaded.
“Pen, hey!” he said, his voice coming out embarrassingly high as his eyes met hers. He cleared his throat. “What’s up?”
“Eloise and I are heading to the lake if you want to join. We were thinking of playing Chicken with Anthony and Ben if you’re down for a rematch?”
He glanced at her bikini again, this time taking in the high-waisted bottoms and the way the color contrasted with her creamy skin.
“I, uh, would normally love to, but I could really use a break from my siblings,” he said apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck.
She pouted. “Are you sure? We have to defend our title as Chicken Champions! Ben and El are still insisting we cheated last time, you know. Are you really going to take that lying down, Bridgerton?”
“Sorry, I can’t today. An hour and a half stuck in the car with Greg and Hy has given me a massive headache. But later this week, you and me will take them out once and for all, deal?”
Pen put a hand on his arm and his skin tingled under her touch. “No worries, Col. I’ll play with Anthony instead. He’s the strongest of you lot anyway. All those hours in the gym have really been paying off, don’t you think?” She giggled at his outraged expression. “You’re so easy to rile up, you know that? It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
“Ha ha.” He crossed his arms and tried to calm his racing heart. Even though he knew she meant it just as a friend, hearing her say the word “love” in relation to him always made his pulse quicken.
Pen tweaked his nose and started off down the corridor. Colin stared after her, unable to tear his eyes away from her backside, when she stopped and spun to face him.
“By the way, I don’t know if you heard, but I’m in the room across from you this summer. So don’t get any ideas about sneaking into my bed late at night to compromise my virtue, ok?”
Stunned, Colin flushed and stammered, “What–Pen, I–I would never –”
She snickered and rolled her eyes. “I’m joking, Colin. Relax. And besides, we all know I’m the one who’s going to sneak into your room and compromise your virtue.”
The idea of that was so thrilling and terrifying that Colin was yet again unable to form proper sentences. “Yes, well–how do you know that I–I mean, that’s not–who says ‘virtue’ anymore?”
Looking pleased with herself, Pen fluttered her fingers at him in a coy wave and said, “See you at dinner!” before trotting down the stairs.
Dazed, Colin slunk back into his room and shut the door, his face so red that he was sure his head was about to explode.
It will be a miracle if he can make it through this summer without completely losing his mind.
___
Three hours later, his mum texted him that dinner was ready. He marked the page in the book he’d been reading and headed downstairs to the dining room to see that everyone was already seated around the table and that they were all still in their swimming costumes. He and his mother, it seemed, were the only ones who hadn’t ended up at the lake, making him feel strangely overdressed in his t-shirt and shorts.
“There’s my favorite recluse,” Pen murmured to him once he took his seat beside her, leaning her bare shoulder against his. He had to will himself not to look down at her chest when he met her gaze this time. “How were your hours of solitude? Are you one step closer to becoming the monk you were always destined to be?”
“What, and deprive the vast hordes of women queuing around the block for my attention?” He put a hand to his chest and shook his head in mock humility. “I could never be so cruel.”
She laughed, a light, sunshiny sound, and opened her mouth to say something in reply but was interrupted by his mother clinking her glass with her fork.
“Everyone, listen up, please!” Once the noise died down, Violet smiled at each of them. “I just wanted to say, I can’t tell you how happy I am to have all of you here this summer. Each year that passes seems to fly by faster than the one before, and I know soon too many of you will be grown and too busy to come down here, so I’d like to acknowledge how special this is.” She looked along the table to where Eloise and Penelope were sitting, and Colin was surprised to see tears forming in her eyes. “Now that my girls have finished school, this means that more than half my children are stepping out into the world to do great things, and I-I couldn’t be prouder of you both. Truly.”
Francesca made a sympathetic noise and rubbed their mother’s back as tears fell onto her cheeks.
“Aw, Mum, don’t cry,” Eloise said. “We haven’t left for uni yet. You’ve still got a whole summer for us to drive you mad!”
Violet laughed and shot Eloise a knowing look. “As I’m sure you will,” she said, making everyone chuckle.
“Thank you again for inviting me, Mrs. Bridgerton,” Penelope told her with an appreciative smile. “There’s no other family I’d rather spend my summer with than this one.”
“And there’s no one else we’d rather have with us than you too, dear,” Violet assured her.
“Here, here!” Anthony said, raising a glass.
The rest of them followed suit, and when the table chorused a rousing “To Penelope!” Colin was intrigued to see a faint pink flush rising to her cheeks.
“Mum, I’m hungry. Can we eat now?” Greg whined, breaking the sentimental spell.
“Yes, yes, of course. Everyone, dig in!”
Needing no further encouragement, they began passing around the bowls of garden salad, creamy bucatini, and fresh garlic bread.
Dinner was a lively affair, as it always was when all the siblings were gathered around a table. The rowdiness of his family often overwhelmed Colin, which made him feel ashamed – as a Bridgerton, shouldn’t he love the chatter and babble like the rest of his family did? – but tonight, he was saved from this plight by Penelope.
“So,” she said once Colin had filled her glass with lemonade. “How’s Marina? Tell me everything. Last I heard, she was planning to transfer universities to be with you in Greece, I think.”
Shocked by the unexpected mention of his one and only ex-girlfriend, Colin choked on his mouthful of pasta.
“Whoa!” Penelope smacked his back in an attempt to aid his breathing. With a slight laugh, she asked, “Are you truly so lovesick for her that the mere sound of her name has robbed you of air?”
“N-no,” he managed to croak. He downed a gulp of lemonade to clear his throat, feeling like an idiot. “No, um. Marina and I split up, actually. Back in March.”
Her mouth fell open as a look of horror colored her face. “Oh my God, Colin, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know or I wouldn’t have said anything, obviously. Are you…how are you doing?”
He shrugged. “It was a while ago now.”
“Do you mind if I ask what happened?”
Colin shut his eyes for a brief moment, wishing this wasn’t the conversation he was having with her, but figured he might as well get this over with. “Well. She was thinking of moving to Athens, but that never happened because it turns out she was cheating on me. With her ex-boyfriend. And she got pregnant. Which she told me on my birthday. So that was…” He couldn’t think of a word strong enough to encompass the pain, betrayal, and anger he felt. “Yeah.”
Pen put a hand on his forearm. When Colin looked into her eyes, he was touched by the fierce emotion blazing from their blue depths.
“I’m so sorry, Col. You didn’t deserve that in any way, I hope you know that. She’s a complete twat if she didn’t realize what a catch you are.”
He laughed in disbelief, which seemed to annoy her.
“I mean it,” she said with a frown.
“Yeah, ok. Sure.”
Pen narrowed her eyes. “Just because one girl was stupid enough to let you slip through her fingers doesn't mean you aren’t worth holding on to.”
“Doesn’t seem like many other women agree with you.” The words left his mouth before he could stop them, causing a rush of heat to rise up his neck.
He could feel her studying him, but he pretended to be too occupied with dipping his bread in a pool of herby olive oil to notice. Thankfully, she let the matter drop.
A few minutes later, she coaxed him back into conversation by asking him about his various travels around Greece and Italy, a topic he was more than happy to discuss. By the time Daphne, Francesca, and Greg started clearing away the dirty plates and his mum returned with a lemon drizzle cake for dessert, Colin had all-but forgotten about Marina and the sting of his broken heart.
“That sounds amazing,” Penelope said as she accepted a slice of cake. “I’m really happy for you, Col. It seems like you’re doing well out there, all things considered.”
“Yeah, I’d say I am, for the most part.” He smiled and cut a large slice for himself.
“Maybe I can visit you in Athens sometime,” she suggested. “I’ve never been to Greece before, or anywhere in the Mediterranean. It would be fun to go with a tour guide who knows all the best spots, if you’d be willing to put up with me.”
Colin’s chest swelled with excitement like a balloon on the verge of bursting. Nodding profusely, he said in a giddy rush, “I would love that! Literally anytime you want, please come see me!”
His mind was already full of the places he could take her, categorizing each location by the different features Penelope would love: seaside excursions to rocky beaches and secret cliffside caves; ancient ruins and secluded villas; vineyards, olive groves, and famous pizzerias. The list was endless. Images of her in long, flowy dresses perusing market stalls and basking in the Grecian sunshine flashed before his eyes like future memories.
He would do anything to make them come true.
“Then it’s settled,” she said with an air of finality. “Once I get the calendar for this semester, we are planning a trip.” She tapped the back of his hand in time with these last words, punctuating her intention.
Colin ducked his head to cover how happy this made him and acted like he was engrossed in his cake, though in truth, its sweetness paled in comparison to the idea of Penelope's visit.
After everyone had their fill and declared themselves well and truly stuffed, Anthony suggested they wash up from the lake and watch a movie together, and soon those who’d gone swimming were trudging upstairs to get clean and change into their pajamas.
“Do you want some help with the dishes?” Colin asked his mum, already gathering forks and plates into neat piles.
“No, no, don’t worry about it, dearest.” She waved a hand in his direction. “I’m going to make myself some tea and sit on the porch while my food settles before I even start to think about the dishes. You go upstairs and watch the movie.”
“Are you sure?”
She cupped his cheek and gave him a contented smile. “Yes, my love. Go have fun.”
“Love you, Mum. Thank you for dinner, it was delicious.”
“The cake was especially good, wasn’t it?”
“It always is.”
With that, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed into the kitchen to start the kettle, and Colin made his way up the stairs to his room.
It took him no time at all to change out of his t-shirt and shorts into an older, softer t-shirt and an old pair of football shorts from school. He then sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the door while he waited for his siblings to be done with their showers.
As was wont to happen when his mind had time to wander, Colin’s thoughts drifted to Penelope. It was hard to believe she’d finished her A-Levels the previous month. Sometimes when he looked at her, he could still see the tiny redheaded girl whose yellow sunhat he accidentally knocked off her head the day they met at the park when he kicked a rogue football toward Benedict that went the opposite way he’d intended. He smiled, remembering the gracious way she’d laughed at his blunder and how her precious little giggle had captured his heart.
It was wild to think she’d be starting at Oxford in just a few months. He hoped she would love it there and that she’d find people who would love her and look after her like he wished he could.
But of course she will. Everyone loved Penelope. Pretty, popular Penelope Featherington.
Did she have any idea that he would give anything for her to fancy him back?
The sound of a door opening and slamming shut, followed by footsteps padding down the corridor, stirred him from his musings. A few moments later, he heard more footsteps heading toward the movie room and decided it was time to join his family.
The home cinema at Aubrey Hall was every film lover’s dream. There were several rows of state-of-the art reclining leather seats, a fully-stocked snack and drinks bar along the back wall, and an impressive sound system surrounding the giant screen at the front. Colin had lost track of all the times he and his siblings had gathered here after a long day in the sun and fallen asleep to whatever movie they’d picked, or the amount of hot chocolate he’d consumed while watching Love Actually or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer for the millionth time.
He chose a seat on the back row so that he wouldn’t block anyone’s view – being the tallest of his family, he’d learned over the years it’s best to consider things like this – and was pleased when, several minutes later, Penelope took the seat on his left. She was wearing an oversized pullover and cotton shorts, and with her wet hair and makeup-free face, she looked so adorable that he wanted to scoop her into his arms and never let her go.
“Good shower?” he asked casually. Because it was casual. It was no big deal that the girl of his dreams was going to be bathing nearby for the next two months. No big deal at all. Obviously.
“The water pressure here is incredible,” she said, flipping her hair to the other side of her head and tucking her knees up to her chest. “I always forget that about this place. I could have stood under that showerhead all night.”
Trying to push this enticing mental picture from his thoughts, Colin adjusted his body so that he was leaning toward her.
“Your hair smells nice,” he commented.
Friends can say things like that to each other, right?
“Aw, thanks, babe.” She blew him a kiss, and before he could respond, she was pulled into conversation by Eloise on her other side, which gave him time to order his face into a less affected expression.
Get it together, man. You can’t let her do this to you the whole summer.
Would that it were so easy.
By the time everyone arrived and they decided on a movie – Madagascar, Hyacinth’s favorite – Colin was feeling more settled into the evening. That is, until Francesca turned off the lights while the opening credits started and Penelope turned away from Eloise, lifted the armrest separating her seat from Colin’s, and curled herself against him, her head on his shoulder and her hand on his knee.
For a moment, he was too stunned to react. Then he let out a shaky breath that he hoped she couldn't hear and worked on steadying his furiously pounding heartbeat.
He’d forgotten that she liked to cuddle while watching movies. More specifically, she liked to cuddle him while watching movies. It had been so long since they'd watched anything together that it had completely slipped his mind that she’d do this when she sat down beside him. He’d be tempted to read into her choice of seat if he didn’t know that the only reason she likes snuggling with him is because he’s so tall.
“You’re like this giant bear-man,” she once told him several years ago when he asked about her cuddling preferences. “You’re the biggest and therefore the comfiest, at least to me. Does that bother you?”
“Of course not,” he’d told her, overjoyed that she’d picked him over his older brothers. “You can snuggle with me anytime you want, Penelope.”
What a sad sack.
“Is this ok?” Pen whispered now. The soft puffs of her breath against his ear sent goosebumps down his arms.
“Yeah, of course. Do you want a blanket?”
She nodded.
“Hold on.” Colin slipped out from under her and shuffled over to the baskets full of thick blankets in the corner. He picked the fluffiest option, the one he knew she liked best, and ducked to avoid blocking the projector when he returned to his recliner.
“Thanks, Col, you’re a gem,” Pen said as he handed her the blanket. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” She spread it over their laps and tucked herself against his side once more, her small, soft form pressing into him in ways that were doing dangerous things to his pulse. And his groin.
Colin tried to pay attention to the movie but couldn't focus at all. He was too distracted by the feel of her thigh hitched over his lap, her ample chest touching his own, and her hand resting on his hipbone. He knew this would be insane behavior from any of his other girl friends – not that he had many – but this was just how Penelope was. She’s touchier than any other girl he knew, and yet it didn't mean anything.
He resigned himself to his fate as the movie played on. He laughed when everyone else laughed, hummed along to “I Like To Move It” when Penelope did, and pretended to be enjoying himself. But in reality, he endured an hour and a half of exquisite, torturous agony, torn between wanting to soak up every second that she was curled around him and fighting the urge to put some distance between them to protect his close-to-shattering heart.
It was a shock when the end credits rolled and Gregory flipped on the lights, causing a loud groan to rise up from the occupants of the reclined chairs.
“Seriously, Greg? Could you not have given us a warning first?” Anthony asked, shielding his eyes.
On Penelope’s other side, Eloise stood to her feet and shot Colin a disgusted look. “Ugh, you two are so gross.”
Irked, he wanted to fire back that this wasn’t his idea, but he didn’t. He didn’t want Penelope to know how conflicted he felt every time she touched him like this.
“Calm down, El. You know I love a movie cuddle,” Pen said without a trace of embarrassment.
“Yeah, and you have a whole room of Bridgertons to choose from, including me, might I remind you. There’s no need to choose Colin every time,” Eloise grumbled. “He’s the least touchy of us all and yet you always go for him.”
Standing up in the row ahead of them, Benedict turned and said with a cheeky grin, “I’m free any time you want a cuddle, Pen,” and shot Colin an irritating look.
“Me too, Pen! Me too!” Greg said, getting to his feet beside Ben.
Unable to withstand any more of this, Colin gently nudged her off of his lap and set his recliner to the upright position before taking the blanket back to its basket.
“Goodnight, everyone,” he said tightly, unable to look at her. “See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight,” they all echoed back.
“See ya, Colin,” Pen said. There was a tinge of something almost sad at the edge of her words, but he didn't stick around long enough to sort through what it was.
Back in his room, he took off his shirt and flung it at his desk chair, turned out the light, and slid under the covers even though he wasn’t the least bit tired.
One by one, he heard his siblings return to their rooms and wish each other goodnight. He attempted to discern which pair of footsteps belonged to Penelope, but either she was still in the movie room or else she snuck into her bedroom without him noticing because he never heard her voice.
For years now, he’d thought about confessing his feelings to Penelope. But what could he say? “Hey, Pen, I’ve kind of been obsessed with you my entire life, so even though I’m an awkward loser, would you wanna go on a date with me?” No girl wanted to be with someone like him. Just look at Marina. She made that abundantly clear.
And besides, there was no way Pen liked him back. Girls as popular and beautiful as she was had scores of guys at their beck and call, all of whom were no doubt more confident and experienced than he was, so what could he possibly bring to the table?
If he was being fair, Colin knew that women did find him attractive – he had plenty of DMs from strangers telling him they thought he was fit and that they’d like to meet up whenever he’s ever back in London – but the only one he cared about attracting was Penelope.
Maybe his problem was that he liked her too much. He let her do whatever she wanted to him and never said a word in protest – she’d been practically spread-eagled on top of him in front of all his siblings earlier, for Christ’s sake – and even though it made him feel like the biggest man in the world at the time, perhaps it would be good to establish some boundaries.
Maybe if he had a little more self-respect, it would make him the kind of guy she’d be interested in dating, the kind of guy who was worth more than just friendship.
He mused on this for the better part of an hour, analyzing what felt like every single choice he’d ever made in his entire life, until he finally started to doze off.
Which was when a soft knock sounded on his door. He bolted upright, suddenly wide awake again.
Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.
Colin blinked and stumbled out of bed, not bothering to put on a shirt. He was sure it was just Anthony or Benedict wanting to make plans to go for a run in the morning.
But it wasn’t either of his older brothers waiting for him in the darkened corridor, nor was it any of his other siblings.
“Pen?” he whispered in surprise.
She glanced at his bare torso, her arms crossed across her chest. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.” He stepped aside and she padded past him. When he closed the door, he turned to find her standing in the middle of his room in a patch of moonlight. She was always bathed in soft light like this. He wondered vaguely if she did this on purpose or if the sun and the moon were so drawn to her that they couldn’t help but cast their light onto her wherever she went.
He sat on the edge of his bed and clasped his fingers together, his elbows resting on his knees. He was acutely aware that he was shirtless and she was in her pajamas, and they were alone in his room at night.
“What’s up?” he asked, doing his best to play it cool. “Is everything alright?”
She peered around his room, seemingly interested in his posters and knickknacks he’d collected over the years of his childhood, though he had a feeling she was stalling for time.
“I just wanted to say sorry if things were weird after the movie,” she said, finally facing him. “I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable or anything.”
“No, not at all,” he lied.
So much for putting up boundaries and creating self-respect.
“Are you sure? You had an odd look on your face when you left.”
“No, I just…” he scrambled for an excuse, “I thought the conversation might make you uncomfortable. You know how relentless my family can be when they get their teeth into something. I figured if I left, then they’d stop talking about it.”
“Oh. That was nice of you, but you didn’t need to do that, Col. They were just teasing. They know things aren’t like that between us.”
His chest ached at the offhanded way she said this. “Yeah, I know.”
Penelope sat beside him on the bed and rested her head on his shoulder, oblivious to the way his heart lurched at her proximity. “Is everything ok with you? I know you’re still upset about what happened with Marina and that you had a headache earlier, but is there anything else going on? You’ve been so off today.”
Colin turned to gaze at her and she met his eyes. There in his quiet, shadowy bedroom, he allowed himself to take in every detail of her face in a way he didn’t often permit her to see. The bits of her hair that were caught in the moonlight were so vivid against her pale skin that she looked like the subject of a Renaissance painting, the bright red waves in stark contrast with her creamy, freckled cheeks, their configuration like flecks of cinnamon sprinkled over a foamy latte.
This moment was exactly why he could never let her go. Because Penelope was the kind of girl who checked in on him when no one else in his family thought to do so. This gorgeous, self-assured girl that he’d known ever since they were kids was thoughtful enough to see how he was doing when everyone else left him to his own devices.
It struck him then that if he ever were to have a shot with her, this summer might be his last chance to try. In just a few short months, he’ll be back in Greece and she’ll be off at Oxford where she will be surrounded by a crowd of handsome, academically impressive, wealthy men who will trip over themselves to sweep her off her feet. This summer with him will be nothing but a hazy memory at the back of her mind.
Unless he does something to change that.
Could he do it? After all these years, could he find the courage to put himself out there and face the (very likely) possibility of rejection? The idea was beyond intimidating. Penelope was way out of his league in every category. He wouldn’t consider approaching someone like her if it weren’t for the fact that they’d been friends for so long now and he trusted that she’d let him down gently if it came to that.
So why shouldn’t he at least try? If she said no, then things would stay the same as they already were, whereas if she said yes, then everything would change for the better.
And if it was uncomfortable when she rejected him…well, then they will go their separate ways in September and have plenty of time to get over the embarrassment of his offer before they are obliged to see each other again when she visits him in Athens.
“I’m good, Pen, I promise.”
She looked at him doubtfully.
“Really,” he insisted.
When it was obvious she still didn’t believe him, he took one of her small hands in his and laced their fingers together, something he’d never done before (although she’d often taken his hand in hers, especially when she was tipsy), and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It’s been a hard few months, but I’ll be alright. I’m really happy you’re here, Penelope. I’ve missed hanging out with you like we used to before I left school. I hope we get to do that a lot this summer.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand back. “Me too, Col. It sucks that you’re always off having adventures in Greece without me.” Leaning into him, she whispered in his ear, “Don’t tell the others, but you've always been my favorite Bridgerton brother.”
Colin grinned. “If you think I’m keeping that to myself, then you’re severely underestimating how much I’m going to hold that over my brothers’ heads.”
Pen giggled and let out a dramatic sigh. “I’m going to regret telling you that, aren’t I?”
“Oh, without a doubt.”
Standing to her feet, Penelope released his hand and hooked a thumb toward the door. “It’s getting late. I should probably head to bed before anyone realizes I’m in here.”
“So you’re not planning on stealing my virtue after all?” Colin asked, following after her.
She winked at him over her shoulder. “Not tonight. But we’ve got the whole summer.”
Panicked delight fluttered in his stomach, which he worked to keep from showing on his face.
“You sure talk a big game, Featherington,” he managed to say as she stood with her back to the door, looking up at him with those crystal blue eyes. “Do you flirt with all the guys like this?”
“Why, you jealous?”
He snorted. If only she knew just how jealous he was. “Obviously,” he said, acting like this was a joke.
Colin nudged her away from the doorknob and opened the door, but Penelope didn’t appear to be in any rush to leave. She lingered in the doorway, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, and peered up at him as if waiting for him to say something more.
“See you tomorrow,” he murmured, wishing he could kiss her goodnight. Wishing he could ask her to stay. Wishing he could make her his right then and there.
“Yeah, see you.”
She hesitated again, and that second was all the time he needed to make up his mind. Because if he didn’t start taking risks now, he knew he never would.
Before he could second-guess himself, Colin leaned down and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger against her skin, making sure she knew this was more than just a friendly gesture.
“Goodnight, Penelope,” he breathed into her ear, his own ears flooded with the thunderous sound of his pulse.
Too afraid to see her reaction, he spun on his heel and closed the door behind him, leaving her alone in the silent corridor.
Had he paused before turning away, he would have been pleased to see a warm, rosy flush blooming across her pretty face.