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The door to the backseat of the car swung open.
Wyatt’s heart hammered harder in his ears.
“Careful,” came James’ low voice as he climbed in and handed Wyatt a paper bag, “mainit.” He opened the one in his hands and took out a piece of garlic bread, the smell of it intoxicating in the tight space. “Are you good to eat this? I ordered na lang so you can have something to eat. Let’s buy water sa Convi na madadaanan natin.”
Wyatt nodded. “Thank you po.”
“Diyan ka uupo?” Anthony hadn’t spoken a word since the truth came out of Tito Nini’s mouth.
Nyong had tried to stop him. Tito Syl had tried to stop Nyong from interrupting. Wyatt’s lips had moved of their own accord to own up to the truth before the shock from it could take over his body. In the end, their food never made it to the table. Anthony handed his husband his card before he and Wyatt shuffled out of the restaurant, leaving the Kruzes and James behind.
He sounded calm enough when he spoke now—calmer than Wyatt thought he was capable of, but his knuckles were white over the steering wheel. No longer letting another bout of silence hang in the air, Anthony revved the engine and drove.
A warmth settled over Wyatt’s hand and he would have pulled away if his dadda hadn’t closed his fingers around it.
“Dad,” Wyatt said when James didn’t say anything. “Anong ginagawa mo?”
“I’m not quite sure.” James looked straight ahead. “Which I’ve been told is the problem.”
“Po?”
“Jam, I want you to remember na you have good friends around you. You chose them well, and they only want to do the right thing whatever the consequences, okay?”
“Ako nagsabi kay Nyong na ‘di muna kayo sabihan. ‘Wag kayo sa kanya magalit.”
“Hindi si Nyong ibig sabihin ko, Jam.”
“Po—?”
“Si Miguel nagsabi sa ‘yo?” Anthony asked, voice still alarmingly even.
James shook his head.
“It was June, wasn’t it?” Wyatt said, finally understanding. He tried to mimic the way Anthony’s voice sounded. Cold, hard, unfeeling. But he couldn’t quite detach himself from everything the same way his own father could.
“He just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“Sinabihan ka ni June at tinago mo sa ‘kin?”
Before either Wyatt or James could explain themselves, Anthony turned towards a relatively empty street and parked in front of a closed establishment. No one was around save for a speeding motorcycle passing through with its stuttering engines. Anthony’s hands fell on his lap.
“I just wanted to give Jamjam the chance to tell us both. June said naman na he was planning to, ‘di ba, Jam?”
“Kailan pa? Kapag ‘di niya na matago ang tiyan niya? Kapag naubusan na siya ng pera para sa mga gamot at mga checkup na kailangan niya?”
“Your son is right here, Ning. Why don’t you try talking to him?”
The car was quiet again, save for the tic-toc-tic of the hazard lights.
“Takot ka ba, Jam?” Calm, even, but Wyatt could hear his daddy’s voice break when he spoke his name.
James nudged him with his shoulder. He wasn’t quite sure if he could get any more words out without losing control of himself or his emotions. So he closed his fingers around his dadda’s hand and held them tight.
James gripped his fingers back just as tightly.
“Yes po.”
“Kay Dadda mo? Sa akin?”
“Natatakot lang po sa magiging reaction niyo.”
Anthony hummed. “Anong gusto mong gawin ko?”
“Hindi ko alam.”
“Anong gusto mong gawin ni Dadda?”
“Wala naman po kayong kailangan gawin.” Calm. Even. But Wyatt was nowhere near being his daddy, so his voice wobbled, a tear threatening to fall with every word. “Ako na po maghahanap ng paraan. Pananagutan naman ‘to ni Miguel. Magtatrabaho kami—”
“Titigil ka sa pag-aaral mo?”
“Susubukan kong ipagsabay pero kung hindi talaga kaya, titigil po muna ako.”
“‘Yan plano niyo ni Miguel?”
Wyatt sniffled. He really did do his best not to cry. “Opo.”
“At sa paningin mo wala kaming gagawin ni Dadda mo?”
If Wyatt didn’t know any better, he would have thought that Anthony was about to cry too, the monotony finally shattered by a gentleness Wyatt hadn’t seen from him in a long time. He was brought back to his elementary graduation, when he had walked down the aisle leading towards the stage and almost tripped over the carpet. His daddy had caught him just in time, and with a firm hand over his back, he had told Wyatt that he was alright then.
“Sa tingin mo hahayaan ka lang namin?” Anthony told him now.
“Responsibilidad ko naman po ‘to.”
“At ikaw ang responsibilidad namin.” He breathed in as if gearing himself up to say something more. Instead, he sighed and put the car in drive. “Anak ka namin, Jam.”
“But we haven’t been very good parents,” James added. He was smiling but his eyes were wet with tears too. “Jam, ‘no?”
“I know naman po na you’re just doing your best for me.”
“And do you think it’s good enough?”
Wyatt didn’t reply.
“Kasi I don’t think it’s good enough. Forgetting to check up on you. Barely eating our meals with you. Barely having a conversation with you. Nakampante ako na you have your titos and titas and friends to take care of you whenever we can't be around. We forgot na we can just choose to spend more time with you, especially now that the hospital isn’t as understaffed as when we first started.”
Wyatt shook his head. “Namimiss ko lang po kayo.”
“We miss you too.” James wrapped his arms around Wyatt’s shoulder. “And we love you so, so much. We’re still your dads. I hope you'll allow us to still be your parents.”
Wyatt chuckled. “Kayo naman po talaga dads ko.”
“Anong gusto mong gawin namin, Jam?” Anthony asked again. “Kahit maliit na bagay lang muna?”
“Sabayan niyo po akong kumain mamaya,” Wyatt replied. “I’m really hungry na po, eh.”
James placed a kiss on top of his head. “‘Yan lang?”
“‘Yan lang po muna.”