Archive of Our Own

The apartment was too quiet, and Winter noticed it before she even had the chance to lock the front door behind her. It wasn't unusual for the apartment to be quiet pag-uwi niya. After five years together and almost two years na magkasama sa apartment na 'to, she and Karina had reached that point where they didn't need to talk all the time just to know everything was okay.

May mga gabi na si Karina nakaupo lang sa couch, may laptop sa lap nya, habang si Winter nakahiga and casually nakasandal sa leg niya, nagsscroll sa phone at nagbabasa ng random facts out loud dahil natatawa siya sa reactions ni Karina. Tapos may mga umaga rin na pareho silang wala pang energy magsalita nang maayos bago magkape, pero automatic nang is-slide ni Karina yung mug niya sa counter—sakto yung sugar, no need to ask. Kabisado na niya years eh. Dati, comforting yung katahimikan na 'yon. It felt normal and safe. But this silence felt different.

Winter slipped off her shoes by the entrance and lined them neatly beside Karina's sneakers before straightening up. Nanatili siya roon nang ilang segundo, hawak pa rin ang strap ng work bag niya habang tahimik na nakikinig sa paligid ng apartment. Mahinang umuugong ang ref nila mula sa kusina, and somewhere outside, may mga dumadaan na motor sa kalsada. Beyond that, there was nothing.

 No terrible singing from Karina while she cooked dinner. Walang absent-minded commentary from whatever show Karina had decided to rewatch for the nth time. At walang excited na "Baby, alam mo baaaa?" spoken before Winter had even finished taking her shoes off. She hated herself a little for noticing pero alam naman niyang napapagod din ang mga tao at may mga araw talagang wala silang energy. Alam niya 'yon.

Karina had been working ridiculous hours for months now. Winter had been watching deadlines pile up on top of meetings and responsibilities hanggang sa parang work na mismo ang umuuwi kasama ni Karina every night. It wasn’t really surprising. Anyone would be exhausted after twelve hours of being pulled in different directions, and alam naman ni Winter na hindi fair na i-expect na uuwi pa si Karina na acting okay or cheerful.

At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. The soft yellow light from the lamp beside the couch immediately caught her attention.

The lamp.

Karina had been weirdly attached to that lamp the moment she saw it, not in a serious, intense way, more like the kind of excitement she had for small things that somehow ended up dragging Winter into it too. “Baby,alam mo ba na warm lighting makes people look prettier” Karina had said while standing in the lighting section of the department store, holding the lamp like it was something revolutionary. Winter had looked at the price tag first before looking at her girlfriend. “We are not spending that much money for a lamp babe, plus, maganda ka na kaya so much” Karina immediately pout “I know naman, but mas okay kung super maganda girlfriend mo diba?” and winked at her gf. Winter had snorted. “Are you seriously trying to seduce me just to get that?” Karina had grinned right away, no shame at all “If that’s what it takes.”

Winter still remembered laughing despite herself. Ganon talaga si Karina—she had this way of making even ordinary moments feel meaningful. What was supposed to be a quick errand for apartment essentials turned into a long, playful argument, and in the end, Winter bought the lamp anyway kasi sobrang saya ni Karina imagining their place as warm and inviting.

“Our apartment” Karina had corrected when Winter teased her for acting like she was designing acelebrity penthouse.

“Our apartment” Winter had repeated.

Back then, it had felt permanent. Parang something solid. 

Something that wouldn’t just slip away.

Now, standing in the doorway while looking at the same lamp casting soft, gentle shadows across the living room, Winter couldn’t help but wonder when had something that used to feel so permanent started feeling so fragile?.

Karina was already sitting on the couch when she came in. She looked up the moment she heard Winter approaching and gave a small blink, like she’d just been pulled out of whatever thoughts she was stuck in.

“Oh” Karina said softly. “Nakauwi ka na pala."

Winter almost laughed at that. Coz there was a time when Karina always knew exactly when she’d get home, like she could somehow track Winter’s commute without even trying. Dati, magte-text pa ‘yon, “Traffic ba?kawawa naman ang baby ko” a few minutes before she even arrived. She used to meet her halfway down the hallway too, always stealing a quick kiss before Winter could even start complaining about work. Now, she sounded like she was genuinely surprised.

“OA ng traffic” Winter replied, forcing a small smile as she placed her bag near the dining table. “Mm,” Karina said, nodding. She shifted a little on the couch before asking, “How was work?” Everday question ni Karina. Nothings wrong with it. But the tone felt different. Parang coworker lang na gusto maging friendly pero hindi talaga close. “still the usual” Winter said, suddenly aware that she was still standing while Karina stayed seated. “Okay, good,” Karina replied.

Then she looked back down at her phone.

Winter didn’t move right away. She just stood there for a moment, looking at the woman she had spent five years building a life with, quietly waiting for something more. Karina’s thumb kept moving across her phone screen, while a small crease slowly formed between her eyebrows. Winter looked away first. She walked into the kitchen dahil bigla na lang niyang hindi alam kung anong gagawin.

The apartment smelled faintly of garlic and laundry detergent. Dinner had already been cooked. The dishes were washed. Karina had even folded half the laundry, while the other half was left in a basket near the dining table. Everywhere Winter looked, there were signs of a life they were supposed to be sharing. And maybe that was why the loneliness felt worse. Kasi everything still looked like them. She poured herself a glass of water and leaned against the counter, glancing back toward the living room.

Karina was now rubbing at her forehead. Even from where she stood, Winter could recognize it immediately—the tension around her mouth, the slight drop in her shoulders, that kind of exhaustion that had become too familiar over the past year.Winter had always loved Karina enough to notice things like that without thinking. 

The problem was that lately, it felt like Karina didn’t notice her in the same way anymore. The thought made her feel guilty almost instantly. Karina was trying. She really was. She worked hard. Magkatabi pa rin sila matulog. She still remembered to buy Winter’s favorite chocolate whenever she passed by the7/11. She still kissed Winter goodbye before leaving for work. Counted naman yun, right?

Winter tightened her grip on the glass.

And yet, why did she feel more lonely now than she ever did when she was actually alone?

The thought came in so fast it almost knocked the air out of her. Kasi loneliness makes sense when you’re by yourself. You expect it. You understand it. But it becomes something else entirely when you’re sitting beside someone who used to know you better than anyone else in the world.

"Love?"

Karina looked up immediately. "Hmm?"

Winter hesitated. Her heart had started beating harder against her ribs.
She wasn't entirely sure when fear had begun accompanying conversations that used to feel effortless.

"P-pwede ba tayo mag usap?"

The change in Karina's expression happened so subtly that someone who didn't know her would've missed it completely pero dahil kilala sya ni Winter she noticed anyway.

"Now?" Karina asked carefully.

Winter's stomach dropped.

Not because Karina had refused.

Because of the caution in her voice.

As though she already knew where this conversation was headed and she had been trying to outrun it.
"Yeah" Winter replied softly.
Karina stared at her for several seconds before exhaling through her nose.
"Not tonight love, please?" Karina asked, lifting one hand to rub at her eyes.
"Baby, sobrang pagod lang talaga ako."
Winter lowered her gaze to the condensation gathering against the outside of her glass.

“not tonight”

The word shouldn't have hurt. Kaso ilang beses na nya ‘to narinig eh.
Winter swallowed. "Okay" she heard herself say.
Karina's entire expression softened immediately.
"Thank you" Karina whispered, sounding relieved.
And Winter smiled.

As Winter walked toward their bedroom, narealize nya na she had become very good at explaining away her own hurt. She closed the bedroom door behind her before sitting carefully at the edge of their bed. She looked around their room and kahit saan sya tumingin, she saw evidence of a woman she loved. So why did she feel like she missed her? Winter rested her elbows against her knees and covered her face with both hands. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. Sa pagkaka alala nya kase, wala naman silang matinding away. But maybe… It happened gradually. It happened every time she decided not to bring something up because Karina looked too tired.

Tuwing may ioopen sya at ang isasagot ni Karina is "Not tonight". 

Maybe, it happened when understanding turned into silence. When patience turned into self-erasure. When loving someone began to mean convincing yourself that your needs could wait indefinitely. Winter lowered her hands slowly before reaching for the framed photograph resting on her bedside table."I miss you" she whispered, her voice cracking despite how softly she'd spoken.

Then, with tears slipping silently down her face, she admitted the thought she had been trying not to think for months. She wasn't afraid that she had stopped loving Karina. She wasn't even afraid that Karina had stopped loving her. What terrified her was the possibility that they had both loved each other through the slow process of losing one another, and neither of them had noticed until the distance between them had become large enough to finally have a name. 

Hindi na nya namalayan kung gaano na ba sya katagal nakaupo until she heard the faint sound ofcabinet doors opening and closing from the kitchen. The apartment had always carried sounds differently at night. Now, she listened to the familiar noises and wondered if this was what grief felt like before people admitted they were grieving. Her fingers tightened around the photo frame resting on her lap.

She hated that thought.

It felt dramatic.

Anjan pa rin naman si Karina. She was literally in the next room.
She could walk outside right now and find her exactly where she'd left her. Maybe all they needed was one good conversation. One honest conversation. The thought made her laugh bitterly under her breath. Because to be honest, ilang beses naman na nyang sinubukan.

Winter stepped out of the bedroom.
The light in the kitchen was on. Karina stood by the sink with her back facing the hallway, rinsing a mug under running water. She had changed into one of Winter's old university shirts and a pair of shorts. Her hair, usually styled neatly for work, had been tied into a messy bun that was already falling apart. 

Winter's heart clenched.

Karina glanced over her shoulder when she sensed movement. At nung nakita nya si winter,

there was immediate concern on her face. "oh, you okay?"

Winter almost said yes. The answer sat right there on the tip of her tongue.

"I don't know" Winter admitted quietly.

Karina turned off the faucet. "What do you mean?"

Winter leaned against the counter opposite her.

The distance between them wasn't even that big.

If either of them reached out, they could touch each other.

And somehow, it felt enormous.

"I mean..." Winter paused, pressing her lips together before trying again. 

"Hindi ko alam kung okay pa ba ako." The concern on Karina's face deepened instantly.

"Why? What happened?" Karina asked as she dried her hands on a kitchen towel. 

"May nangyari ba sa work?"

Winter looked at her then she shook her head.

"Wala."

"May problema ba kila Tita?"

"No."

"Then ano?"

The question was genuine.

Karina looked worried and confused. Like she truly didn't know.

Winter felt something painful twist inside her chest.

"Yun nga eh" Winter said, her voice trembling despite her efforts to steady it

 "Hindi mo alam."

Karina frowned "Ano?"

Winter looked down at her own hands.

"Naiisip mo ba minsan..." 

She stopped herself and took another breath. "Naiisip mo ba minsan kung

kumusta ako?"

Karina blinked "What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Winter laughed softly, except there wasn't any humor in it. "Alam mo ba kung kailan yung last time na tinanong mo ako kung okay ba talaga ako?"

"Winter—"

"Hindi yung automatic na 'kumusta work" Winter clarified, finally lifting her eyes to meet Karina's. "Imean... yung totoong tanong." Karina stared at her "Of course I care kung okay ka."

"I know you care."

"Then bakit parang—"

"But do you ask?" Winter interrupted, her voice still soft even as tears gathered in her eyes. "Do you notice?"

Karina immediately looked hurt “Huh? What do you mean ba?"

Winter swallowed.

She doesn’t want this conversation to sound accusatory or to make Karina feel attacked. The problem was that pain had a way of sharpening truths people had spent too long avoiding.

"I don't think you notice me anymore" Winter admitted.

The words hung heavily between them.

Karina's entire body went still "What?"

Winter's eyes immediately filled with tears.

"I don't think napapansin mo kapag hindi ako okay" she whispered. "I don't think napapansin mo kapag may gusto akong sabihin tapos inuunahan ko na lang yung sarili ko kasi alam kong pagod ka."

"Baby—"

"I don't think napapansin mo na ilang buwan na akong nalulungkot."

Karina looked at her as if she'd just spoken another language.

The towel slipped from her fingers onto the counter.

"What?"

Winter let out a shaky breath.

There it was again.That look.

As if the possibility had never crossed Karina's mind. As if Winter's sadness had somehow existed just outside the boundaries of Karina's awareness.And maybe that hurt more than anything else.

"You didn't know?" Winter asked, unable to keep the heartbreak from slipping into her voice. Karina stared at her. "I..." She stopped.

Then tried again.

"I knew you were stressed."

Winter laughed weakly.

"Hindi yan yung tanong ko."

Karina looked panicked now.

"I thought..." Her voice cracked slightly. 

"I-I thought you would've told me if something was wrong."

Winter looked at her. Then looked away.

Because she suddenly remembered all the times she had tried.

"Remember nung anniversary natin?" Winter asked quietly.

Karina frowned. "What about it?"

"I tried."

"What?"

"I tried to tell you."

Karina's expression shifted.

"No..."

"Kaso busy ka sa emails mo."

"I had an emergency meeting—"

"I know."

"You know naman kung gaano ka-demanding yung project na 'yon."

"I know."

Winter nodded.

Her tears slipped down freely now.

"Alam ko lahat ng dahilan mo, Karina." 

Winter wiped her cheeks with trembling fingers "At ‘yon ang problema"

"What?"

"I always understand."

Karina looked devastated.

"What are you saying?"

Winter inhaled shakily "I'm saying..." She pressed her palm against her chest. "Hindi ko na alam kung kailan ako titigil sa pag-intindi sayo at kailan ako magsisimulang piliin din yung sarili ko." Karina immediately shook her head.

"Winter, that's not fair."

Winter's stomach twisted.

The defensiveness in Karina's voice wasn't cruel.

It sounded frightened.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Karina's own eyes had started filling with tears. 

"You're making it sound like wala akong pakialam."

Winter closed her eyes briefly.

Kae hindi naman yun yung point.

That wasn't what she had been trying to say all along.

Tinignan nya ulit si Karina, her voice softened."I know you love me."

Karina broke.

The tears she'd been holding back spilled over immediately.

"Then bakit parang hindi sapat?" she asked.

Winter stared at her.

Because that was the question, wasn't it? The one neither of them wanted to ask. Because admitting that love wasn't enough sounded almost cruel when they had built five years around choosing each other. FIVE FUCKING YEARS.

Winter looked at Karina and saw the woman who used to drive across the city just because Winter had casually mentioned craving taho. She saw the woman who held her while she cried after family fights. The woman who memorized Winter's coffee order. The one who whispered "text mo ako pagdatingmo" every single time Winter commuted home. She saw all of that. And somehow, she also saw the woman standing in front of her now.
The woman who still loved her.
The woman who had stopped noticing she was drowning.

Winter's lower lip trembled. Then, in a voice so soft it almost didn't sound like her own, she asked the questions she had been carrying alone for months.

"Karina..." she said, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to keep eye contact. "When was the last time you think about me, about us? Naisip mo ba kung okay pa ba ako? Okay pa ba tayo?"

Karina did not answer immediately.

Winter watched the question settle over her like something physical.

The way her eyes moved flickering toward the floor, toward the counter, toward Winter's face before darting away again—betrayed the panic slowly making its way through her.

Winter had known Karina long enough to recognize what was happening.

Karina wasn't trying to think of an excuse. She was trying to remember.

And that realiztion hurt more than anger ever could.

Winter didn’t asked those questions to trap her. She didn’t asked it because she wanted Karina to fail some impossible test designed to measure love. She asked kase gusto nyang malaman baka may hidni lang sya napansin, she didn’t notice the moment when Karina looked at her and noticed the exhaustion hidden beneath her practiced smiles.

The silence stretched between them, and Winter found herself wishing that Karina would say something—anything—even if it wasn't perfect.

Instead, Karina looked at her with widening eyes.

"I..." Karina began before stopping again.

She swallowed hard and lifted one hand to her mouth, pressing her fingers briefly against her lips as though trying to steady herself.

 "I don't know."

Winter's chest tightened.

The answer wasn't malicious.

Karina didn't say it carelessly.

She sounded horrified by it.

Her voice had gone small around the edges, stripped of all certainty.

"I don't know" Karina repeated more quietly, tears gathering in her eyes. 

"And I think that's- that’s what scaring me right now."

Winter stared at her.The kitchen suddenly felt too small.

Too bright.

Too intimate for a conversation that seemed determined to expose every crack they had spent months pretending not to see. Karina let out an uneven breath before running both hands over her face. When she looked back at Winter, her eyes were red.

"I honestly thought you would've told me" she admitted. "Akala ko kapag may mabigat kang dinadala, sasabihin mo sa'kin. You always tell me things, Winter. Ikaw yung unang nagkukwento tungkol sa araw mo. Ikaw yung unang nagsasabi kapag may nakakainis sa work. Kaya akala ko..." She stopped and blinked rapidly. "Akala ko okay ka. Okay tayo."

Winter felt another wave of tears sting behind her eyes.

"I tried" she said softly.

Karina's brows pulled together. "When?"

The question wasn't defensive.

It sounded desperate.

Winter laughed quietly, although there wasn't an ounce of amusement in the sound.

"See?" she whispered.

Karina's face crumpled almost immediately.

"No" Karina said, shaking her head. 

"Please don't do that."

"Do what?"

"That thing where you look at me like..." 

Karina pressed her lips together before trying again. 

"Like, I've already failed."

Winter closed her eyes for a moment.

She didn't know how to explain that this wasn't about winning or failing.

It wasn't about assigning blame and deciding who had loved better.

It was about grief.

The kind that arrived slowly enough for people to mistake it for exhaustion.

When she opened her eyes again, she forced herself to stay where she was instead of retreating into the safety of silence.

"Do you remember our anniversary dinner?" Winter asked.

Karina looked confused by the sudden shift in topic before nodding hesitantly 

"Of course I remember."

Winter tilted her head slightly "You remember all of it?"

Karina's expression faltered "Winter..."

"No, I'm asking seriously." Winter wiped beneath one eye before another tear could fall. 

"Do you remember me trying to tell you that something felt off?"

Karina stared at her.

Then realization slowly dawned across her face.

"Oh." The sound escaped her so softly that Winter almost missed it.

-flashback-

Winter remembered that night clearly. Too clear actually.

She remembered sitting across from Karina in the small restaurant they both loved because Karina had once declared that nobody made pasta the way that place did. She remembered the candle flickering between them and the way she'd spent half the evening looking at Karina while Karina typed furiously on her phone.

At one point, Winter had laughed awkwardly and said, 

"Pwede bang hindi muna trabaho for one night?"

Karina had immediately apologized "I'm sorry, baby. Last na talaga. Emergency lang."

Winter had nodded "It's okay."

Later, while they were waiting for dessert, Winter had looked down at her untouched drink and quietly asked, 

"Do you ever feel like ang layo-layo natin kahit magkatabi naman tayo?"

Karina had looked exhausted.

 She'd reached across the table to squeeze Winter's hand.

"Can we talk about this tomorrow?" 

she had asked gently. 

"I just don't have the brain capacity tonight."

Winter had smiled.

She remembered smiling.

"Okay."

Then she had changed the subject.

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹

Back in the kitchen, Karina covered her mouth with one hand.

"Oh my God."

Winter watched tears spill down Karina's cheeks.

"I forgot" Karina whispered.

The words landed heavily between them.

Winter knew Karina wasn't saying them to be cruel.

That almost made it unbearable.

Because if Karina had chosen not to listen, Winter could've called it neglect.

If Karina had dismissed her intentionally, Winter could've called it selfishness.

But Karina had simply... forgotten.

Not because she didn't care or she stopped loving Winter.

But because life had become loud enough that Winter's pain had gotten lost beneath everything else demanding Karina's attention.

Karina shook her head repeatedly. "No" she whispered, sounding increasingly distressed. "No, no. I remember the dinner. I remember what you wore. You were wearing that black dress you diba? A-and then you said it made you lookintimidating even though you looked beautiful. I-I remember you complaining that the pasta wasn't as good as last time. 

I remember..." Her voice cracked. 

"I-I remember thinking na kailangan kong bumawi sa'yo kapag natapos yung project because I knew I wasn't present e-enough." She looked at Winter with tears streaming freely down her face.

"But I forgot that you-you tried to tell me you were hurting."

Winter pressed her lips together.

She hated seeing Karina cry. Even now.

Even now, some instinct inside her wanted to cross the kitchen and wrap her arms around her and she wanted to reassure Karina that it wasn't entirely her fault. That she knew how hard she'd been trying to survive and she knew Karina never woke up and decided to become distant. But another part of Winter—the part that had spent months keeping her feelings to herself because there was always a deadline, always a stressful week, always a better time to bring it up later—finally refused to stay quiet.

“Alam mo kung anong nakakatakot?” she asked softly.

Karina looked at her through blurred eyes. “Ano?”

Winter took a breath, her fingers tightening against her palms.

“Feeling ko kasi... kung tayo yung nagkapalit ng sitwasyon, maaalala ko.”

A crease formed between Karina's brows.

“Anong ibig mong sabihin?”

Winter lowered her gaze for a moment before looking back at her.

“I mean, kung ikaw yung umupo sa harap ko and asked if we could talk because you were feeling lonely, hindi ko makakalimutan 'yon.” Her voice wavered.

“Maiisip ko 'yon habang nasa work ako. Maiisip ko before matulog. Babalik-balikan ko yung

conversation kasi the thought of you feeling that way would've stayed with me.”

Karina's breath caught.The second the words left her mouth, Winter wished she could soften them somehow, but there was no way to make them gentler without changing what they meant. And she was tired of changing what she meant.

Karina shook her head slowly, tears spilling over.

“Parang sinasabi mo na mas mahal mo ako kaysa mahal kita.”

Winter's expression immediately crumpled.

“Hindi, baby. Hindi 'yon.”

“Eh ano?” Karina asked, her voice breaking. 

“T-that's what I can hear. Parang sinasabi mo na nagkulang ako. Na hindi kita minahal nang tama.” The hurt in Karina's face made Winter feel sick.

She shook her head quickly.

“Hindi ko sinasabing hindi mo ako mahal.”

Her own tears were falling now.

“Actually, that's the problem. Alam kong mahal mo ako.”

Karina stared at her.

“Kahit minsan, never kong naisip na hindi mo ako mahal. Never kong pinagdudahan 'yon.”

Her voice dropped lower.

“Ang sinasabi ko lang...” She paused, struggling against the lump in her throat. 

“Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling seen.” 

The confession hung heavily between them. 

Winter looked away for a second, blinking against fresh tears before forcing herself to continue. “Ang hirap i-explain kasi hindi naman isang malaking bagay yung nangyari. Walang cheating. Walang malaking away. Wala namang moment na bigla mo na lang akong hindi minahal.” She gave a small, broken laugh.

“Parang... paunti-unti lang.”

Karina's face crumpled even more.

“Then bakit ganito?” she whispered. “Bakit parang sobrang sakit?”

Winter looked at her for a long moment.

Because the answer wasn't complicated.

“Because love isn't the only thing a relationship needs.”

Karina didn't say anything.

She just kept looking at Winter as if she was trying to understand something that had been right in front of her the whole time.

Winter's voice softened.

“Love matters. Of course it does. Pero minsan, kahit mahal niyo pa isa't isa, may mga bagay na unti-unting nawawala without either of you noticing.”

She swallowed hard.

“Yung pagiging present. Yung pakikinig. Yung pag-alala sa mga bagay na importante sa isa't isa. Yung noticing when something's wrong kahit hindi pa sinasabi. Kasi dati, ikaw yung unang nakakapansin. Bago ko pa aminin sa sarili ko, ikaw na yung nagtatanong kung okay lang ba ako.” A tear slid down her cheek.

“And when those things start disappearing, hindi naman nawawala agad yung pagmamahal. You still love each other. You still care. Pero somehow, you start feeling alone inside the relationship.” Her voice cracked on the last words.

“And I think that's what happened to me.”

"You can love someone and still stop paying attention to them. You can love someone and stop asking questions because akala mo kilala mo na sila. You can love someone and accidentally make them feel invisible because you assume they'll tell you if something's wrong." 

Karina looked devastated.

Winter's throat tightened.

"And the worst part is that I know you never meant to hurt me."

Karina immediately shook her head.

"I didn't."

"I know."

"I swear to God, Winter, I didn't."

"I know. Alam ko Karina."Karina broke down completely then.

Not in a dramatic way.

Not loudly.

She simply folded into herself, covering her face with trembling hands as quiet sobs escaped despite her obvious attempts to stop them.

Winter stood frozen across from her.

Because she had imagined this conversation so many times. Two women standing in their kitchen at nearly ten o'clock at night, crying because they still loved each other and had absolutely no idea how they had ended up here.

Winter stood on one side of the kitchen island while Karina remained on the other, and for several long moments neither of them seemed to know what to do with the space between them.

It was such a small distance.

If this had happened a year ago, Winter would've walked around the counter without thinking about it. She would've cupped Karina's face in both hands, wiped away her tears with the sleeves of her sweater, and told her that they would figure it out together because that had always been their thing. They had never been the couple that walked away angry. Even after arguments about chores, finances, or whose turn it was to pick what movie to watch, one of them always ended up gravitating back toward the other. Karina would appear beside Winter with a plate of cut fruit and an awkward, "Peace offering?" or Winter would climb into Karina's lap while muttering, "You're still annoying, by the way" before eventually dissolving into laughter against Karina's shoulder.Their love had always found its way back to itself. That was why Winter couldn't understand why her feet refused to move now. 

Karina slowly lowered her hands from her face. Namumugto na ang mga mata niya, namumula ang ilong niya, at basa na ng luha ang mga pisngi niya, pero mukhang wala na siyang pakialam na makita yon ni Winter.

For the first time, she looked genuinely exhausted.

Hindi yung pagod na galing sa overtime o kulang sa tulog. Iba.

It was the kind of exhaustion that came from realizing you might have damaged something important without ever meaning to, and not knowing if there was still a way to fix it.

"Kailan pa naging ganito?" Karina asked quietly.

Her voice shook.

"Bakit hindi ko napansin?"

Winter let out a soft laugh through her tears and leaned more heavily against the counter. The marble felt cool beneath her palms, and right now she needed something solid to hold on to because everything else felt unstable.

"Hindi ko rin alam" she admitted.

She wiped at her face before looking back at Karina.

"I don't think there was one specific day na nagising ako tapos bigla kong na-realize na may problema tayo." Her voice softened.

"Sa tingin ko unti-unti lang siyang nangyari. Maliit na bagay dito. Maliit na bagay doon. Sobrang liit na lagi kong kine-convince yung sarili ko na okay lang naman."

Karina stared at her helplessly.

"Anong mga bagay?"

The question hit harder than Winter expected.

Not because she didn't know the answer.

Because there were too many.

She swallowed against the tightness in her throat.

"Naalala mo birthday ko last year?"

Karina frowned immediately.

"Syempre naman."

Winter nodded.

"You greeted me at exactly 12"

"Eh birthday mo."

A small smile tugged at Winter's lips before disappearing just as quickly.

"You ordered my favorite cake."

"Oo."

The confusion in Karina's face only deepened.

"I did."

Winter nodded again.

"And then pumasok ka sa trabaho."

Something flickered across Karina's expression.

"Winter..."

"You came home late because of meetings." Winter continued gently. "Tapos nag-sorry ka kasi hindi tayo nakapag-celebrate nang maayos. Sabi mo babawi ka sa weekend."

Karina looked down.

"I remember."

"And dumating yung weekend."

Winter felt fresh tears gather in her eyes.

"Tapos may emergency."

Karina closed her eyes.

"And then another week passed."

Winter laughed softly, though there was no humor in it.

"Tapos another week ulit."

The silence between them grew heavier.

"You eventually bought me flowers."

Karina looked up immediately.

"I did."

"Three weeks later."

The words landed softly, but they still hurt.

"Baby, akala ko—"

"I know."

Winter cut her off gently.

"Alam ko exactly kung ano yung akala mo."

Her throat tightened.

"Akala mo okay lang kasi sinabi kong okay lang."

Karina didn't say anything.

Because it was true.

Winter looked down at her hands.

"The problem is... habang tumatagal, tumigil na akong sabihin kapag hindi okay."

Karina's face crumpled.

"You should've told me."

"I know."

The answer came out almost as a whisper. And she really did know.

Maybe that was part of the problem.

Maybe she should've spoken sooner.

Maybe she should've fought harder.

Maybe she should've stopped pretending she was fine every time disappointment started feeling familiar. But after a while, things stopped feeling that simple.

Winter lifted her gaze.

"But Karina..."

Her voice cracked around the name.

"Alam mo ba kung anong nangyayari kapag paulit-ulit mong naririnig yung 'not tonight'? O kaya 'sorry, sobrang pagod lang ako'? O 'can we talk about this later'?"

Karina stared at her.

Winter could see the answer forming in her eyes before she even spoke.

"You stop asking."

The words came out quietly.

Not angry.

Not accusing.Just tired.

"Siyempre sa umpisa, maghihintay ka pa. Maiintindihan mo pa. Sasabihin mo sa sarili mo na stressed lang yung tao, busy lang, maraming iniisip."

Her eyes filled again.

"But kapag enough times mong ginawa 'yon, you start convincing yourself na baka hindi naman talaga importante yung gusto mong sabihin."

Karina's breathing became uneven.

Winter felt her own chest tighten.

"So tinatago mo na lang."

A tear slid down her cheek.

"You tell yourself you'll bring it up next week. Tapos next month. Tapos kapag mas okay na yung timing."

She laughed weakly.

"Hanggang sa isang araw, hindi mo na namamalayan na ilang buwan ka nang tahimik."

Karina broke first.

A sob escaped her before she could stop it.

And somehow, hearing it hurt almost as much as everything Winter had just said.

The kitchen grew quiet after that.

Hindi yung klase ng katahimikan na nanggagaling sa galit. Wala ring hostility between them. It was the kind of silence that happened when a truth had finally been spoken out loud and neither person knew what to do with it.

Karina stared at the floor for a long moment before speaking again.

"I wasn't trying to shut you out"

Winter nodded immediately.

"Alam ko."

"Hindi ko rin pinipili yung trabaho kaysa sa'yo."

"Alam ko."

Karina wiped at her face, but more tears only replaced the ones she'd brushed away.

"Hindi ako gumigising araw-araw na iniisip kung paano kita masasaktan or how will i make you feel lonely"

Her voice cracked.

"Hindi ko ginagawa 'yon, Winter."

"I know, baby."

The endearment only seemed to make Karina cry harder.

"Then why does it sound like I became someone horrible?" she asked.

Winter's face twisted almost immediately.

"No."

She shook her head.

"Baby, no. Hindi 'yon yung sinasabi ko."

Karina laughed weakly through her tears and wrapped her arms around herself.

"But that's all I can hear."

She looked away, blinking rapidly.

"You know what I hear?"

Winter didn't answer.

Karina swallowed hard.

"I hear that the person I love most in the world spent months crying alone and

 I didn't even n-notice."

The words hit Winter like a physical blow.

"I hear na umiiyak ka mag-isa tapos wala man lang akong idea."

Her breathing became uneven.

"I hear na-na every time tinatanong kita kung okay ka at ngumiti ka lang, naniwala ako agad."

Winter felt her eyes sting.

"Karina—"

"No."

The interruption came quickly, but there was no anger in it.

Only desperation.

"P-please don't tell me it's okay."

Winter froze.

Karina looked at her with an expression so raw that it made Winter's chest ache.

"I don't want you protecting me from this."

Her voice trembled.

"K-Kasi feeling ko that's exactly what you've been d-doing this whole time."

Winter couldn't look away.

"You didn't tell me because alam mong stressed ako."

Silence.

"You kept everything to yourself because ayaw mong dumagdag sa mga iniisip ko."

Winter lowered her eyes.

"And every time pinapalampas mo yung hurt mo, every time inuunawa mo ako kahit nasasaktan ka na, ginagawa mo 'yon because you loved me."

Neither of them spoke for several seconds.

The silence felt heavier now.

More painful.

Karina looked at her carefully before asking the question she'd probably been afraid of since this conversation started.

"D-Did you ever resent me for it?"

Winter closed her eyes.

The answer sat heavily in her chest.

She wanted to say no.

She wanted to spare Karina from hearing it.

But they'd already spent too much time hiding from the truth.

"Sometimes."

Karina's breath hitched.

Winter immediately felt guilt wash over her, but she forced herself to continue.

"Minsan."

Her voice shook.

"And every single time nafe-feel ko 'yon, I hated myself for it."

She wiped at her face.

"May mga gabi na nakahiga ako beside you habang tulog ka, tapos paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na hindi mo naman sinasadya."

Karina's eyes filled again.

"Alam kong hindi mo sinasadya."

Winter looked down at her hands.

"Pero minsan may part sa'kin na nagtatanong..."

She laughed weakly before continuing.

"'Bakit parang ako lang yung laging nakakapansin?'"

The second the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.

Karina's entire face crumpled.

"I'm sorry."

Karina shook her head immediately.

"No."

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Huwag kang mag-sorry."

She pressed trembling fingers against her lips and stared somewhere over Winter's shoulder.

After a while, she let out a shaky laugh.

"Alam mo kung anong mas nagpapasakit dito?"

Winter looked at her.

Karina smiled sadly.

"Yung hindi kita masabihang mali ka."

Winter felt her chest tighten.

Because that was the worst part.

If Karina had gotten angry, if she'd denied everything, if she'd insisted Winter was exaggerating, maybe they could've fought.

Maybe it would've been easier.

But Karina wasn't arguing.She looked like someone finally seeing something that had been there all along.

"I think..." Karina paused, trying to steady her breathing. "I think I got so used to believing na okay tayo because ikaw yung strong one."

Winter frowned.

"What?"

A broken smile appeared on Karina's face.

"Ikaw yung laging marunong magsalita kapag may problema. Ikaw yung unang naghahanap ng solution."

Her eyes softened.

"Kapag nagaaway tayo, ikaw yung unang lumalapit."

Winter felt another ache settle in her chest.

"Ikaw yung unang yumayakap."

Karina laughed quietly and shook her head.

"And ikaw din yung laging nakakaintindi."

The smile disappeared.

"So I stopped checking."

The confession came out small and devastated.

"I kept thinking na kung may problema, sasabihin mo naman."

Her eyes met Winter's.

"Hindi ko naisip na darating yung point na mapapagod ka ring magsabi."

Winter stopped breathing.

Because that was it.

That was exactly it.

She wasn't tired of loving Karina or choosing Karina.

She was tired of having to raise her hand and say 'Please look at me. Please ask me. Please notice that I'm hurting.x

Winter covered her mouth when another sob escaped her.

By this point, she wasn't even trying to stop crying anymore. Her chest hurt, her throat burned, and every word felt like it had been sitting inside her for months, waiting for a chance to come out.

"I didn't want to beg" she admitted quietly.

The moment the words left her mouth, Karina's expression broke.

"Oh, baby..."

Winter squeezed her eyes shut.

"I didn't want to have to explain to the person who used to know me best why I was hurting."

Her voice trembled.

"I didn't want to teach you how to see me again."

The silence that followed settled heavily between them.

Neither of them said anything because they both understood that this had never really been about the birthday. Or the overtime. Or the missed conversations that had piled up over the months. Those things mattered, but they weren't the real wound. The real pain was realizing that the person who used to notice the smallest shift in your mood now needed an explanation for your tears. And the worst part was that Winter still looked at Karina and saw the love of her life. 

If she had fallen out of love, this would've been easier.

If she had stopped caring, mayb she could've walked away months ago.

Instead, she was standing in the kitchen of the apartment they'd built together, crying in front of the woman she still wanted a future with, while both of them slowly realized that loving someone deeply didn't automatically save a relationship from exhaustion, neglect, or all the quiet ways people could drift apart without ever meaning to.

Across from her, Karina stayed rooted to the other side of the kitchen island.

Hindi naman siya gumalaw, pero may nagbago sa kanya.

Winter noticed it immediately. Parang bumigat lalo yung mga balikat niya now that everything finally had a name. Her hands rested uselessly against the counter, fingers loosely curled as if she didn't know what to do with them anymore.

A few times, Karina looked at Winter.

A few times, she looked away.Parang hirap siyang tumingin nang matagal because every second forced her to face something she wasn't ready to fully accept.

Wala na ring defensiveness sa mukha niya.

What remained was something much worse.

Realization.

And the devastation that came with it.

Winter wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt, though it barely helped.

Pagod na pagod na siya.

Not physically.

The kind of tired that came from carrying something alone for too long.

The kind that came from swallowing words, from making excuses, from telling yourself na magiging okay din naman eventually.

Karina finally spoke again.

"Winter..."

Her voice sounded small.

"Hindi ko alam kung paano ako magsisimulang mag-sorry sa'yo."

Winter looked at her.

The apology wasn't surprising.

She'd expected it, actually.

What caught her off guard was how helpless Karina sounded.

As if even she knew that sorry felt too small compared to everything that had happened.

Karina took a shaky breath.

"Iniisip ko lang..." She looked down. "Lahat nung times na sinasabi mong okay ka, pinaniwalaan kita." Her voice cracked.

"Hindi dahil wala akong pake. Hindi dahil hindi kita mahal."

She rubbed at her eyes.

"Ewan ko. I just... trusted you."

Winter felt something tighten painfully in her chest.

Because Karina wasn't wrong.

She had said she was okay.

Again and again.

She had smiled.

She had shrugged things off.

She had softened every disappointment before it could become a problem.

And Karina had believed her because that's what trust had always looked like between them.

"I did tell you."

The words came out quietly.

Karina frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Winter looked down at her hands.

For a moment, she wondered if she could explain it without making things worse.

Eventually, she gave up trying to soften it.

"I told you when I got quieter."

Karina stilled.

"I told you when I stopped bringing things up because alam kong pagod ka."

Winter's eyes burned.

"I told you when I stopped asking for things because ayoko nang dumagdag sa mga iniisip mo."

Karina looked like she couldn't breathe.

"I told you every time I said 'okay lang' kahit hindi naman talaga okay."

Her voice wavered.

"I just didn't say it in a way that forced you to stop and listen."

Karina opened her mouth.

For a second, Winter thought she might argue.

Might insist that she would've noticed.

Might say she would've done something if she'd known.

But the argument never came.

Because they both knew the truth was more complicated than that.

"That's not fair."

Karina's voice was barely above a whisper.

There wasn't much conviction behind it.

It sounded less like disagreement and more like grief.

Winter understood.

Because accepting that someone you love had been hurting beside you for months felt impossible. It challenged everything you thought you knew about your relationship.

About your closeness.

About how well you'd loved them.

"I know."

Winter nodded slowly.

"I know it isn't fair."

Her throat tightened.

"Honestly, hindi rin fair sa'kin."

She laughed weakly through her tears.

"Kasi ang tagal kong naghintay."

Karina looked at her.

Winter's eyes filled again.

"I kept telling myself na temporary lang 'to. Na kapag hindi ka na ganito ka-busy, babalik tayo sa dati." Her voice grew softer.

"I kept thinking na baka next week okay na. Baka next month. Baka after nitong project. Baka after nitong stressful season."

She shook her head.

"But it never happened."

The tears were falling freely now.

"And after a while, I realized na hindi na lang pala kita hinihintay maging less busy."

Karina's breathing became uneven.

Winter met her eyes.

The honesty hurt.

But not saying it hurt more.

"I was waiting for you to notice me again."

The words landed softly between them.

And somehow that made them even more painful.

Karina shook her head slowly, as if trying to reject the implication even while understanding it. “I notice you,” Karina said quickly, though it came out strained. “I notice you every day. I see you when you come home. I know when you’re tired. I know your routines. I know—”

“You know my habits,” Winter interrupted gently, not out of anger but out of exhaustion, “but notwhat I’ve been feeling.”

Karina froze at that.

Winter felt her own chest ache as she continued, her voice quieter now.

“Alam mo kung ano gusto ko, you know what I do, what I usually say. But I don’t think you’ve really asked me in a long time what I need from you emotionally, or if I’ve been okay being the one who adjusts every time something gets difficult. Matagal na kitang hinihintay magtanong kung okay pa ba ako beyond that."”

Karina swallowed hard, her hands gripping the counter now as if she needed something to steady herself.

“I didn’t realize you were feeling like that" 

Karina admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

Winter nodded slowly, not in agreement but in recognition of the truth that had been sitting between them for too long.

"And maybe that's what hurts the most. Hindi dahil tumigil kang mahalin ako. Hindi dahil may ginawa kang masama. Nasanay lang tayo na okay ako all the time, hanggang sa hindi mo na napansin nung hindi na pala ako okay." Winter said gently, her eyes glassy again. 

“Masakit pa kase I believe you. I believe that you didn’t realize. I believe that you didn’t mean for me to feel invisible. I believe all of that.”

She paused, struggling to breathe through the weight in her chest.

"But I also know na matagal na akong nalulungkot habang mahal na mahal pa rin kita."

Karina closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them again, her expression was completely broken in a way Winter had never seen before.

“I don’t know what to do with that,” Karina said honestly, her voice cracking. “Because I still love you, Winter. I swear I still do. And hearing you say that makes me feel like 

I failed you in a way I can’t fix.”

Winter looked at her for a long moment, her heart aching with a kind of sadness that had no clear direction anymore.

“I’m not asking you to fix it right now,” Winter said quietly. 

“I think I’ve already accepted that there are things that can’t be undone just by realizing them too late.”

Karina’s breath hitched slightly at that.

Winter continued, her voice soft but steady despite the tears still falling.

“I think what hurts the most is not that you stopped loving me. It’s that you didn’t notice I was slowly learning how to live without needing to be seen by you.”

The silence that followed was different now. 

It was no longer filled with confusion or denial. 

It was filled with understanding that came too late to feel comforting.

Karina finally spoke again, her voice almost trembling with fear.

“Are you leaving me?” she asked.

Winter did not answer immediately, not because she did not know the answer, but because sheunderstood in that moment that whatever she said would become real in a way neither of them could take back.

And for the first time that night, both of them realized that love had not disappeared between them. It had simply stopped being enough to keep them from breaking.

Karina’s question lingered in the kitchen long after she had spoken it. She could feel her own chest tightening in slow, painful waves, each breath coming a little more carefully than the last as she tried to steady herself in a moment that felt like it had been building for months without either of them naming it out loud.

The silence between them was no longer confused or searching. It had become something heavier, something that carried the weight of understanding even if neither of them was ready to accept its full shape.

Karina’s voice came again, quieter this time, almost trembling at the edges as she repeated herself.

“Winter,” Karina said, her throat tightening as she tried to keep her voice steady

 “Iiwan mo na ba ako?”

Winter finally looked at her properly then. 

She took in everything at once in a way she had been too afraid to do before.

She looked at the woman she'd spent five years loving. The woman who still bought her favorite chocolate without being asked. The woman who still reached for her side of the bed in her sleep. The woman who had somehow become both the safest place she'd ever known and the source of a loneliness she didn't know how to explain.

And that was the tragedy of it.

Love had never left.

Not really.

If anything, it was still there in every glance, every tear, every desperate attempt to understand each other now.The problem was that love had stayed while other things quietly disappeared.

“I don’t think this is about leaving or staying anymore" 

Winter said carefully, her voice trembling despite her effort to keep it steady. 

“Because I think if it were just about distance or time or even exhaustion, we could still fix it. We could still try again. We could still find our way back to each other the way we always used to.”

Karina’s eyes searched her face as she listened, her breathing becoming uneven as she waited for something she did not want to hear but could no longer avoid.

Winter continued, her voice breaking slightly as she forced herself to stay honest.

“But I think we already lost something along the way without noticing it happening,” she said, her gaze dropping for a moment before lifting again to meet Karina’s. “I think we stopped seeing eachother clearly a long time ago, and we just kept calling it love because it was easier than admitting that something between us had changed.”

Karina shook her head immediately, as if rejecting the idea on instinct, her voice rising just slightly in a way that revealed how much she was trying not to fall apart.

“No” Karina said, her words rushed but fragile. 

“That’s not true. I see you. I still see you. You’re right here.”

Winter felt something inside her ache at that, not because it was untrue, but because it was

incomplete in a way that hurt more than denial would have.

“I know you see me physically” Winter said softly, her voice steadying just enough to continue, “I know you know my routines, my habits, the things I like and the things I don’t like. I know you can point at a hundred little details about me and still get them right.”

Her eyes softened as she looked at Karina with something that felt like both love and grief existing at the same time.

“But I don’t think you’ve been seeing me the way I’ve been needing to be seen" 

Winter continued gently.

 “Not for a long time.”

Karina’s lips parted as if she wanted to argue again, but no sound came out. Instead, her shoulderssank slightly, as though something in her had begun to understand even if she was still resisting itemotionally.

Winter took a slow breath, her voice growing quieter but more certain.

“I stopped telling you I was lonely because you were tired,” she said. 

“I stopped telling you I was hurting because I didn’t want to add anything to what you were already carrying. I stopped reaching for you kasi every time I wanted something from you, feeling ko may mas importante kang kailangang unahin. Kaya natuto na lanng ako maging okay."

Her throat tightened again as she continued, her eyes beginning to fill once more.

“And somewhere along the way, I started becoming someone who only showed you the parts of me that didn’t require anything in return… Natuto ako maging okay kahit hindi ako okay” Winter admitted softly.

Karina’s voice broke when she finally spoke again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, her tone carrying something close to anguish. 

“Why did you let it reach this point without saying anything?”

Winter closed her eyes briefly, and when she opened them again, there was a kind of quiet sorrow in them that made Karina’s chest tighten instantly.

“Because I thought loving you meant protecting you from everything that might make you feel like you were failing me.” Winter said honestly. 

“And I didn’t want you to feel like you were failing me. Not when you were already doing everything you could to keep up with everything else in your life.”

Karina shook her head slowly, tears slipping down her cheeks without her seeming to notice anymore.

“But I was failing you" Karina whispered.

Winter’s expression softened immediately, and she took a small step forward without fully realizing it, as if instinct was still pulling her toward the person she loved even in the middle of everything breaking. “You weren’t failing me in the way you think" Winter said gently. “You were just… not present in the way I needed anymore. And I think I kept hoping that if I stayed patiently enough, if I kept understanding enough, you would eventually come back to me the way you used to be.”

Karina let out a broken laugh through her tears, but it sounded more like pain than humor.

“And did I?” 

Karina asked, her voice shaking. 

“Did I ever come back?”

Winter looked at her for a long time before answering. The honesty of it felt like something she had been holding in her chest for too long, something that had finally become too heavy to keep inside.

“No” Winter said quietly.

“Not completely.”

The words did not come out cruelly. They came out with sadness, with exhaustion, with a kind of love that had already stopped trying to fight reality.

Karina’s face crumpled fully at that point, and she pressed a hand over her mouth as she tried and failed to hold back the sob that escaped her. Winter could see her shaking now, not just emotionally but physically, like her body had finally caught up to the weight of everything she had just realized. “I didn’t know” Karina said through broken breaths, her voice muffled behind her hand.

 “I swear to you. H-hindi ko alam… I didn’t know you were disappearing like that.”

Winter nodded slowly, her own tears falling freely now as well. 

“I believe you,” she said softly. 

“That’s what makes this so hard. Because I believe you didn’t know. And I believe you didn’t mean for this to happen. And I believe you still love me.”

Karina looked up at her through tears, hope flickering weakly in her eyes for a brief moment.

Winter’s voice softened even further as she finished what she had been trying not to say since the beginning of the conversation. 

“But I also believe that we can love each other and still lose each other if we’re not careful,” she said. “And I think that already happened to us without either of us realizing it until now.”

The kitchen fell into a silence that no longer felt temporary. 

Karina’s shoulders shook as she cried, and Winter stood there watching the person she loved most in the world fall apart not because of betrayal or hatred, but because of timing, exhaustion, neglect, and the slow erosion of attention that neither of them had known how to stop.

After a long moment, Karina finally spoke again, her voice barely audible. 

“So what happens now?” she asked.

Winter looked at her for a long time. 

And when she answered, there was no anger in her voice, only the kind of grief that comes from loving someone deeply enough to let them go without ever wanting to. 

“I think we should finally stop pretending that waiting will fix 

what we stopped taking care of” 

Winter said softly. 

“And we accept that loving each other doesn’t always mean staying 

the same way we used to.”

Karina’s eyes closed as she cried harder, but she did not argue anymore. 

Neither of them did. 

Because somewhere between all the times they had mistaken silence for peace and understanding for unconditional endurance, they had slowly started losing each other without noticing it. Every "mamaya na", every "pagod lang ako", every "okay lang ako", and every "not tonight" had quietly settled into the spaces between them until the distance no longer felt temporary. They had loved each other through birthdays, bad days, promotions, family problems, random cravings, and lazy Sunday mornings spent tangled together on the couch they bought together, believing that choosing each other once meant they would automatically know how to keep choosing each other forever.

For years, this apartment had been filled with plans that naturally included the word "us."

And maybe that was why accepting the truth hurt as much as it did.

Because they hadn't reached the end of their relationship by falling out of love.

They had arrived there by loving each other the best way they knew how while slowly forgetting that love also needed attention, curiosity, honesty, and the courage to ask difficult questions before the silence grew loud enough to answer them instead.

Neither of them said goodbye that night.

Neither of them knew if they ever truly could.

But as Karina cried quietly into the palms of her hands and Winter stood across from her trying to grieve someone who was still right there within arm's reach, they finally understood that some endings do not arrive all at once. Sometimes, they come disguised as postponed conversations, exhausted smiles, and the belief that there will always be another tomorrow to fix what you neglected today.

And by the time you finally gather the courage to look at each other and ask

 "Kumusta ka ba talaga?" 

the person you love might already be mourning a version of you that they had been missing for a very long time.

⊹˚end.‧⁺