Work Text:
Choi Jeho is weird.
Kim Iwol has known for a long time that Choi Jeho is weird, but he’s even weirder now. Ever since Iwol came back from his 1 month long coma, Jeho keeps being weirder and weirder. Doesn't he know there’s only so much weirdness one can embody?
At times, Choi Jeho will stare at him like a hawk looking at its prey, it’s scary. Especially when his sleep schedule was wrecked again and his dark under eye reappeared—Choi Jeho’s gaze was so sharp and scary Iwol was shaking.
“What?” Iwol said, feeling like a rabbit in front of a snake.
“Nothing.”
Then stop staring at me! Iwol wanted to scream. He swallowed his discomfort. Thankfully he didn’t have his chronic migraines anymore, so his head doesn’t hurt as much. That was a progress that made Seongbin happy all week when he heard.
As if staring isn’t weird enough, Jeho started approaching him out of nowhere to grab his wrist for no reason at all with a troubled expression, stay for a few seconds, and go with a satisfied expression.
Iwol shoot him a confused, exasperated glare at first. “What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
He must’ve lost his mind, Iwol concluded. He decided to ignore it altogether. If Jeho wants to be weird, then Iwol will let him be. It’s not something that bothers him that much anyway.
Once, Iwol woke up to Jeho holding his wrist on the sofa—he must’ve fallen asleep while monitoring Kiyeon’s newest variety show appearance—with an unreadable expression.
“Why are you holding me like that?”
“Why? Am I not allowed?”
“No, it’s not that…”
At the end, Jeho didn’t release his grip from Iwol’s hand until they got up for practice, his thumb pressed on his forearm the whole time. Iwol could feel Jeho’s large hand pressing in his wrist. It’s not an unpleasant gesture.
***
>>Does anyone think jeho has been suspiciously close to a certain someone these days?
ㄴso i’m not the only one who thought of that
>>What’s jeho’s deal TTTTT he keeps approaching iwol when they’re separated and holding his hand TTTT
ㄴAnd iwol didn’t say anything yet his face clearly said ‘let this guy do whatever he wants’ it’s so funny
ㄴhe’s like a lost puppy… so cute…TT
>>spk separation anxiety confirmed
>>??: “Sparklers, you know? Jeho-hyung has been following around Iwol-hyung recently… Now he’s being clingy with Iwol-hyung. But that’s my and Joowoo-hyung’s role, right, Sparklers? This is so unfair TT”
clingy hyung-line and jealous maknae cheonghyeon i could die
ㄴwhere was this from?
ㄴㄴCheonghyeon’s bubblepop!
ㄴㄴㄴ thank you!
ㄴclingy emperorㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
>>codependent jewol/wolje is my roman empire
ㄴcodependent but it seems like wangje is the only one attached to pep TTTT
>>honestly me too, jeho, me too
>>[Video] real life footage of a bear holding a cat by the scruff of his neck
ㄴㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
ㄴhis grip is so tight that not even Iwol is able to escape TTTTTT
ㄴi’m sobbing iwol just shot him a look and didn’t give him a XX anymore TT iwol-hyung give your attention to the nine-months-younger dongsaeng too…
ㄴㄴpretty sure he asked jeho a few times before but because his answers were just ‘nothing’ iwol gave up ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
***
Iwol mulled over the comments he saw. So people have been noticing Jeho’s strange behaviour, too. It’s not just his imagination, after all. He called to the man on the other side of their shared bed. “Hey, Choi Jeho.”
“What is it?”
Iwol turned around and almost had a heart attack seeing Jeho’s dark, sharp eyes looking straight at him. He put his hand over his heart and Jeho hurriedly sat up and grabbed his shoulders.
“What’s wrong, does your heart hurt? Should I call the others?” He’s so close to pushing the button on their headboard.
“No, I’m just surprised, don’t make a commotion like that,” Iwol waved his hand to calm Jeho down, but Jeho’s face remained dark.
“Fine, if you say so. What is it?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“Huh?” Iwol had never seen Jeho caught off-guard like that before. “No, why? Did you do something that’s gonna make me mad?”
Iwol scratched the back of his neck. “... no?”
“Then why do you ask?”
“No, it’s just… your behaviour recently… fans have been noticing that you’re acting strange with me.”
“Oh, is that so. Were the reactions bad?”
Iwol cocks his head to the side to think. “... not really? I don’t think so.”
“Then don’t worry too much. I’m not mad at you, so just go to bed.”
Iwol sighed. That’s a relief, at least. He really doesn’t want another fight with Jeho this soon. Iwol turned off the lamp and in return turned on the fairy lights, then laid on the bed, pulling his blanket.
…
But then again, he didn’t explain anything regarding his weird habits recently!
Kim Iwol’s eyes shot wide open. He’s going crazy. He was starting to get curious. Now he would never go to sleep!
***
Jeho has always been scared of death.
He thought it would be a normal, human response. What human isn’t scared of death?
Jeho never thought he would find the answer at his idol group. The human who is not free of fear, just an idiot who once seeks death, Kim fucking Iwol.
Jeho had been so worried from the first time Kim Iwol was injured; and after witnessing Iwol a breath away from death’s door four times, Choi Jeho can’t help but feel the pressure of anxiety on his heart.
Ever since he felt that pale body without a heartbeat under his palms, Jeho’s anxiety regarding Kim Iwol’s life quadrupled.
He knows that Iwol is doing better in therapy. He knows that Iwol is back with his routine—he never misses a gym session with him, never makes a mistake during practice, and nags their ears off once more. He knows that Kim Iwol’s test results from the hospital are better than expected. He knows that Kim Iwol looks so much more happier now, his face adorned with a brilliant smile.
And yet.
And yet.
Choi Jeho can’t help but worry.
What if Kim Iwol suddenly collapsed somewhere? What if Kim Iwol’s heart couldn’t take his activities anymore? What if someone gave Kim Iwol the wrong drink or food and his heart stopped? What if his head injury acts again?
What if Kim Iwol’s heartbeat has ceased, and Choi Jeho’s not there?
The worry is eating him alive. He’s not Seongbin or Kiyeon, who relentlessly nag Iwol about his health. Nor is he Joowoo or Cheonghyeon, who is particularly close and chatty with him. Jeho is not a naturally warm person.
So Jeho wanders around Iwol. Consistently. Without fail.
Jeho wanders around Iwol, never losing him from the corner of his eye. When the anxiety is too much to bear, he grabs Iwol’s hand and reaches for his pulse. Only when he can feel that steady rhythm can Jeho go back to whatever he was doing before with a satisfied heart.
Every time Iwol looks at him with a sharp, confused glare, Jeho can’t help but feel relief. Emotions is good. Emotions means Kim Iwol is alive, and well, and healthy enough to be his usual self.
Aside from a few suspicious glance from Iwol and teasing smirk from Cheonghyeon, Jeho’s new habit is accepted pretty well. Even Kim Iwol, the eternal nagger, got tired by himself and eventually let Jeho do whatever he wanted.
“Jeho, we’re here.”
Manager Chanyoung’s voice breaks Jeho’s train of thoughts. After saying thank you and going to his dorm, Jeho can’t help but wonder if Iwol’s back from his solo schedule. He got another casting offer for a drama—apparently a very different character than the one he has played before. Then again, when does Kim Iwol’s role in drama not vary? Seems like the guy will run around again to try and grasp his character’s personality. He’s admirable for that, Jeho thinks.
After washing up, Jeho sees Iwol sitting on the edge of their bed, holding something that looks like a script. It seems it’s just the two of them at the dorm right now. Iwol looks up, noticing his arrival.
“Oh, Jeho, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“What is it?”
“Can you take me to the action school again?”
Jeho’s head rings, blood seared to his head. His body moved faster than his thoughts, pushing Iwol to the bed and caging him.
“Wah!”
Why? Why do you want to go to action school again? Will something happen again? Are you going to risk yourself again, even after you’ve promised that you will never do that kind of thing again? Is that a lie? Are you still unafraid of death even after all this time? Do you still can’t trust me? Questions filled his mind.
"What's wrong with you? Are you mad at me? Did I do something?"
Jeho hoped Iwol would just stop talking.
“Jeho—mph!”
So he pressed—no, press is too gentle of a word, rammed is more fitting—his lips into Iwol’s, devouring anything he wanted to say. Jeho bit his lower lip and made use of Iwol’s startled reflex to shove his tongue into Iwol’s mouth, dominating the pace so Iwol couldn’t say anything, drinking his every sounds, devouring his grunts and whimpers and choked protests. The man beneath him thrashed breathlessly, his effort to protest against Jeho all in vain.
Alas, Jeho needs to breathe, so he pulled back—
“Je—”
—only to connect their lips once again, harsher, more dominating.
Jeho doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to hear how Iwol is so ready to throw his life away again, and how part of it is Jeho’s fault. He doesn’t want to hear how Iwol doesn’t trust him, how useless he is. Jeho doesn’t want to be reminded that Iwol would leave him if he thought that’s the best thing he could think of for all of them. Jeho doesn’t—
“Choi Jeho!”
Iwol has forcefully separated them, veins bulging as he digs his palm to Jeho’s shoulders and keeping his body away from him. “Choi Jeho, listen to me!”
Jeho wants to bark back, “What else should I listen to?!”...
“It was for a drama!”
All tension leaves Jeho’s body at once. “... huh?” he said dumbly.
“It was for a drama,” Iwol repeated, his voice stammering, breathless. Trying to catch his breath after the stunt Jeho just pulled. “I’m playing a medical drama this time, right? There’s a lot of scenes where I will have to give first aid including CPR, so I figured I should use the opportunity to learn about it as well, to get myself more immersed as a character. Because I think it could be helpful for daily life, too.”
Nobody said a word. Tension hung in the air, without even the wind dared to ruin this moment. In the silent room, only the two men's ragged breathings could be heard.
Jeho doesn’t know since when, but Iwol’s hands moved from his shoulders to his face, his pale, white fingers wiping his wet cheeks. Did he cry? Since when?
“Sorry. You must’ve been startled by my request.”
Jeho furrowed his brow. “Don’t apologise, you know that pissed me off.”
Iwol laughed while his thumb eased the area between his eyebrow like it's second nature. His gentle, soft voice washes Jeho over with ease. He brought his hand to rub his eyes.
“To think that you cried… Were you so stressed because of me, too? Is that why you have been following me recently? Because you were anxious about me?”
“Who wouldn’t, dumbass.”
“I see. Sorry for not noticing.”
“I told you to stop apologising.”
Jeho backed out from his position, only for Iwol to close the space between them and place a kiss on his cheek, right under his eye where tear stains remain.
Blood rushed to Jeho’s face, heat creeping in. He stammered, couldn’t even think of a string of words to use. Iwol grinned brightly under him, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Revenge,” he said, putting a finger on Jeho’s lips.
Jeho is speechless.
Iwol doesn’t need any more words. That kiss on the cheek alone successfully shut Jeho up, making him devoid of any words he wanted to say. But ever the chatterbox, Iwol begin to nag him again.
“If you’re feeling that awful because of this, would it be better to go talk about it with a therapist? It wouldn’t disrupt your schedule, right? No, would it be healthy for your mental health in the first place? Don’t bottle everything up and say it if you have any worries.”
Jeho couldn’t believe those words came out of Kim Iwol’s mouth. He laughs. “You’re unbelievable.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Whatever you say, Kim Iwol.” Jeho couldn’t focus on whatever Iwol was saying anymore. Is that a light bruise on his lip? Was that from Jeho’s bite before? Would he be guilty if he admitted he likes it?
“Anyway,” at last, Iwol lightly pushes Jeho away and sits upright, once again reaching for his abandoned script. “Would you accompany me to the action school again?”
‘Accompany’, he said. Together. Iwol trusts him to watch over him. Jeho hides a small smile. “Sure.”
“Oh, also, I’m saying this again in case you’re still worried,” Iwol speaks once again, black irises staring straight into Jeho’s own dark ones. “I really was scared. I’m not lying when I said it was scary.”
Jeho doesn’t say anything, looking at Iwol’s firm declaration in front of him.
“So I wouldn’t do it again.”
Jeho smiles, and it feels like a tight knot inside his chest loosened. “Okay. I trust you.”
Iwol flashes a bright smile. “Oh, and if you want to kiss me so bad, you should’ve just asked.”
“What.”
“I was shocked, you know. You could’ve at least give a man some time to prepare…”
“Kim Iwol, shut up.”
Jeho is delighted to hear Iwol’s laugh, even if it was to mock him.
Kim Iwol might not be afraid of death. Kim Iwol might be close to crossing the River Styx, and he might be closer to ghosts than humans, even from his appearance alone. He might leave this world any moment, leaving Jeho and the others behind.
So what.
Jeho will make sure to tie him down in the human realm. If he loves too much that he doesn’t have enough for himself, Jeho has plenty to give it back to him. If his heart stops, Jeho will find a way to make it beat again. Kim Iwol, as ghostly as he is, cannot leave this world until he is at the very least 80 years old.
Choi Jeho will not let go of his ghost boy that easily.
***
>>Jeho doesn’t follow Iwol around that much anymore now, did he?
ㄴyeah TTTT i will miss clingy jeho…
ㄴBut the atmosphere between the hyungs isn’t bad at all, right? it seems like they’re getting closer somehow!
ㄴㄴyou’re right… i’m glad they’re as close as ever
>>Jeho looks so happy recently~ I wonder what happened
>>It's so nice to see the hyungs so close
>>Jeho and Iwol look so happy, if my kids are happy I'm happy with them as well