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She tries to go back to normal, pretend everything is alright.
God she tries.
But some wounds heal never, they leave marks that'll haunt you forever.
It's been 2 months after Caleb Wright's abduction on Lucy. Sixty-one days, according to the small calendar on the nightstand in her room.
The whole thing was and is traumatic for her. It settled like an unwelcomed guest, there were moments when she could almost convince herself that she was getting better, but some days she felt like she was back there again. Back at the house, wrists and ankles tied with duct tape, her hoping that someone would come and save her.
She blamed herself for not seeing the early signs, she was a cop, how could she missed it all?
Therapy was an absolute pain in the ass, considering both her parents were also therapists. At least, that's what she told herself every single time she found herself sitting in the room. Both of her parents were therapists, offering free counselling to their own daughter. But Lucy didn’t want to tell them about her trauma during that day, and it certainly didn’t help with the fact that she had parental issues.
On the first day it had been a blur, she could barely register her surroundings after being asleep for a few hours. When she woke up, Lucy was surprised to find her T.O Tim—sitting across from her, reading a magazine. What even surprised her more was when he said he bought her favorite, veggie burger and fries with extra pickles. He had remembered. The second night was rough at the hospital. Lucy convinced Tim to go home, get some rest, and that she was okay with being alone. But she didn't like it. She didn't want the rest of the LAPD to look at her differently now, a cop surviving getting buried alive by a serial killer. She didn't want their pity, or their concern.
She was perfectly fine.
That's what she said to herself.
Lucy couldn't sleep, she had tried, yet it was no use. She kept tossing and turning in the bed, it was uncomfortable no matter how many times she shifted positions. Her pillow was too flat, the blankets felt too thin, the scars and bruises felt itchy and uncomfortable on her skin.
And the tattoo. She wanted to have it removed directly, she didn't want another reminder of her near death.
Her eyes drifted towards the door of the hospital room, listening to the sounds around her. A distant cart rolling down the hallway, the faint hum of the air conditioner, signs of life continuing all around her. She couldn't believe the fact that she had survived, the moment she closed her eyes, questions she couldn't answer properly kept resurfacing. What if things didn't go back to normal? What if she wasn't as okay as she'd been pretending to be? She hated being alone with her own thoughts, now she wished Tim was here by her side.
Lucy heard from Nolan that Tim was the first one to find her, all because of the ring she had accidentally dropped. She couldn't remember exactly when it had slipped off her finger, maybe during the struggle it did, maybe she dropped it completely by accident. Nolan explained that the search had been going for hours, everyone was exhausted yet was determined to bring her home.
Then he brought up how Tim became restless every second when time passed. Nolan explained how he got a little reactive with a suspect, even calling SWAT on his own.
Tim found her because of the ring, and he was the first person to dig up the soil, desperate to find her. Lucy pictured it as Nolan explained. Tim quickly dropping to his knees, kneeling in the dirt, digging as if every second mattered, as if stopping wasn't an option.
And he gave her CPR, the thought of it made her chest ache with guilt and relief all at once. She was relieved him and the rest found her, but she felt guilty of getting herself into that position in the first place. If only she had listened to Tim, if only she didn't ask for the sticky note back. Then, everything would've been the same as it was.
Tim didn't tell her about it, how he found her first or gave her CPR. Maybe he thought it wasn't the right moment, she wished he told her.
Then the memory of him holding her in his arms as she cried flashed through her mind.
He found her. He saved her.
And she was truly grateful for it.