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Garretts POV
I barely register what’s happening on the TV anymore, something about Walt and Jesse. I don’t know and I don’t care because Hannah is curled up against my side with her head on my chest, and I’m running my fingers through her hair while we lie in my bed.
This is my favorite part of the week no hockey, no coach, no reporters, no expectations… just Hannah.
Her phone buzzes beside her and she reaches for it. I glance down and a text flashes across her screen.
Allie: NYU sucks anyways
I frown.
“Why does Allie hate NYU?”
The second I ask it, Hannah goes still. Not dramatically but just enough for me to notice. And immediately my stomach tightens… that can’t be good.
“Oh.”
She lowers her phone.
“I didn’t get into NYU’s grad program.”
For a second I just stare at her.
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“Fuck.”
I sit up.
“Wellsy, I’m sorry.”
She shrugs.
“It’s okay. I’m over it.”
Except she isn’t.
I know Hannah.
And the way she’s staring at her hands instead of looking at me tells me everything. She’s embarrassed, disappointed and trying to pretend she isn’t. A silence settles between us. Then before I can stop myself, I ask:
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Hannah sighs.
“Oh… it just wasn’t a big deal.”
I blink. Not a big deal?
“Of course it’s a big deal.
She rubs her eyes.
“Okay.”
Her voice sounds exhausted.
“I’m sorry. Can we just go to bed? I’m tired.”
“No.”
The word comes out sharper than I intend. Immediately I regret the tone… not the question… just the tone. I soften my voice.
“I want to know why you didn’t tell me.”
She sits up.
“Because I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“Not to me?”
“Garrett.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Now she sounds irritated.
“I got rejected. It sucked. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to spend the week talking about how I didn’t get into my dream program.”
I swallow.
“So you just didn’t tell me?”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
“I don’t know.”
Something twists inside my chest and I know this isn’t about me… I know that. But finding out through a random text message feels awful. Like she’s been carrying this around and somehow I missed it completely.
“Can we please drop this?” she asks quietly.
“No.”
Hannah stares at me.
“Why are you making this such a big thing?”
A laugh escapes me… short… humorless.
“Because apparently everybody knew except me.”
“Allie knew because she was sitting next to me when I opened the email.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
I stand up so fast the mattress shifts beneath her. Why the fuck am I standing? I don’t even know. I just suddenly have too much energy under my skin. Too much frustration. Too much… everything.
Coach screaming at me during practice, Dean being an asshole at practice, the pressure of the upcoming games… and now this.
I drag a hand through my hair and for a second I consider dropping it. Just letting it go and go back to the bed… go back to Hannah. Instead I open my mouth and make my first real mistake of the night.
“At what point do I stop being the guy you date and start being the person you actually lean on?”
The second the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve fucked up. Jesus Christ. What the hell is wrong with me?
Hannah’s face falls. Not angry. Not defensive. Just hurt. And somehow that’s worse.
“That’s not fair.”
No shit. Of course it’s not fair. I know exactly how hard it’s been for her to trust people. I know exactly how much she’s trusted me. I know better. But somehow I’m still standing here acting like an asshole.
“Isn’t it?”
The second the words leave my mouth I hate those too. Jesus. Stop talking. Seriously. Just stop.
“No.”
Her voice is quiet… painfully quiet.
“You know that’s not fair.”
Apologize… right now… apologize. Instead, because apparently I’ve completely lost my mind, I keep talking.
“You always say we’re a team until something’s actually wrong.”
Silence. Complete silence. And there it is. The moment. The exact moment I realize I’ve crossed a line.
“Fuck.”
My stomach drops… hard and Hannah looks away and suddenly I feel sick.
“Han—”
“Don’t.”
The word isn’t angry. That would’ve been easier. It’s tired, disappointed, hurt and somehow that feels a thousand times worse. I take a step toward her.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.”
My voice cracks.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.”
The calmness in her voice scares me because Hannah isn’t fighting anymore. People stop fighting when they’re done arguing and for a second I think maybe we’re okay. Then she stands up and my stomach immediately sinks.
No.
No.
No.
She grabs her backpack and starts gathering her things. My pulse kicks up.
“What are you doing?”
She doesn’t answer.
“Hannah.”
Still nothing. She zips the bag. And suddenly fear starts crawling up my spine.
“Han—”
“I need some space, Garrett.”
The words hit me like a slap. Space. I hate that word. I hate it because every time someone says they need space, it means they’re leaving. Maybe not forever. Maybe not for long but they’re leaving. And right now that’s enough to make panic claw its way into my chest.
“What?”
“No.”
She finally looks at me and that’s when I see the tears in her eyes. Immediate panic.
“Hannah—”
“I’m serious.”
“Come on.”
“I need some space.”
I stare at her. Those tears are killing me.
“I need you to respect that.”
And that’s the thing… if Hannah asks me for something like that, I’m not going to ignore it. Even when every instinct in my body is screaming at me to fix this and for a second neither of us move. Then she turns and heads for the door.
“Hannah.”
Nothing.
“Hannah.”
She keeps walking. Panic shoots through me. I follow her out of my room and down the stairs. Each step making this feel more real. By the time we reach the living room, Logan and Tucker are both staring at us. The movie they were watching forgotten. Hannah heads straight for the front door but I move in front of her before she can reach it.
“Hannah, please.”
“We’ll talk tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? My stomach drops. Tomorrow means she’s leaving like this. Tomorrow means she’s going home hurt, after I just said awful things to her. Tomorrow means I’m spending the entire night replaying every stupid thing I said.
“Hannah, come on.”
She shakes her head.
“I need a second and you need a second.”
“I don’t need a fucking second.”
Goddammit. I want to fix this. I need to fix this. Hannah closes her eyes. Just for a second. When she opens them again they’re glassy.
“Well I do.”
The guilt hits me immediately.
“Hannah—”
“I know you only said it because you’ve had a long week.”
The tears finally gather in her eyes.
“But it still hurt, Garrett.”
My chest physically aches because she’s right. Every single thing she’s saying is right. She looks directly at me.
“I’ve had a long week too.”
Nothing about her voice is angry and somehow that makes everything worse. She adjusts her backpack straps.
“I’ll text you when I get home.”
Then she tries to move around me.
“No.”
The answer comes automatically.
“I’ll drive you.”
“No.”
“You aren’t biking home at midnight.”
“Garrett.”
“I’m serious.”
“No.”
“It’s dark out.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t.”
Her eyebrows rise. A warning. One I recognize immediately. Unfortunately my mouth is still moving faster than my brain.
“I’m not letting you—”
“Letting me?”
Fuck. I close my eyes. Just for a second because somehow I’m still making this worse. Before either of us can keep going, Tucker stands up.
“I can drive Wellsy home.”
The room falls silent. Tucker looks at Hannah. Then me. Then Hannah again.
“You good with that?”
She nods immediately.
“Yeah.”
Of course she is… because it’s not me. I open my mouth and then close it again because there isn’t a damn thing I can say that won’t make this worse. Tucker grabs his keys.
“Let’s go.”
Hannah heads for the door. For one stupid second, I think she might turn around. Maybe give me a smile. Maybe tell me we’re okay. Maybe something. Instead she opens the door and walks through it and disappears. The door clicks shut behind her.
I stand there staring at it.
My chest feels hollow.
The house is completely silent.
A few seconds pass. Then Logan sighs from the couch.
“Dude.”
I drag both hands down my face.
“Yeah.”
“You are so unbelievably fucked.”
I let out a groan.
“What happened?”
What didn’t happen? I decided to be an absolute dick to my girlfriend when she’s probably already feeling awful about getting rejected from her dream program, and somehow I managed to make the whole thing about me.
“I fucked up.”
“I can see that.”
Logan doesn’t even sound surprised. Which is fair. I don’t think I’ve ever watched Hannah walk out of a room because of something I said. Logan waits, giving me room to explain.
“I found out she didn’t get into NYU.”
Logan’s eyebrows shoot up.
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“And then you got upset with her.”
It’s not even a question, it’s just a statement. One that makes me feel like an even bigger asshole.
“She never told me.”
Logan stays quiet and I continue.
“I found out from a text. She got the rejection a week ago and never said anything.”
“So you got hurt.”
“Yeah.”
“And then you got mad.”
I groan.
“Yeah.”
Logan nods.
“Sounds about right.”
I throw him a look.
“You’re supposed to be helping me.”
“I am helping you.”
He points at me.
“You’re just making it really difficult.”
I drop onto the couch and lean forward.
“Sometimes she doesn’t tell me things.”
“Like?”
I hesitate. Because now that I’m thinking about it, every example that comes to mind immediately makes me look worse.
“Just… stuff.”
Logan stares at me… waiting. Eventually I sigh.
“Delaney.”
His expression changes instantly. She had told the three of them about Delaney a few weeks after my suspension. She didn’t go into any detail but just gave the gist that he had done something to her in high school.
“Garrett.”
I know.
I know.
The second I say it I know.
Hannah didn’t tell me about Delaney because she was trying to protect me. Trying to make sure I had my head in the game. Trying not to dump all of that on me during a huge game and afterward she’d literally told me that. She hadn’t been shutting me out. She’d been trying to protect me.
Shit. My stomach drops because suddenly I see tonight differently. Hannah didn’t tell me about NYU because she was embarrassed, because she was hurting, because she didn’t want to spend a week talking about getting rejected from her dream program.
Not because she didn’t trust me.
Not because she didn’t need me.
And definitely not because she wasn’t treating us like a team.
Jesus Christ. I drag a hand down my face.
“Shit.”
Logan says nothing, which somehow makes it worse. I let out a groan… a long one.
“I really fucked up.”
“Yep.”
“I think she thinks she’s burdening me.”
Logan shrugs.
“Maybe.”
“No, seriously.”
Now that I’ve seen it, I can’t unsee it.
“Every time she’s hidden something from me it’s because she thought she was protecting me. Or because she didn’t want to dump her problems on me.”
Logan nods slowly.
“That sounds a lot more like Hannah than some grand conspiracy to keep secrets from you.”
I drop my head back against the couch. God. I am such an idiot.
“I have to go apologize.”
I stand up immediately and Logan sits forward.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to Hannah’s.”
“No.”
I stare at him.
“No?”
“Garrett.”
His voice takes on that tone, the one that means he’s about to say something I don’t want to hear.
“She asked for space.”
I hate that word.
“Logan—”
“She asked for space.”
Damn it. I know he’s right. I just don’t want him to be. I want to drive over there. I want to pull her into my arms. I want to apologize. I want tonight back. I want to go back two hours and keep my mouth shut. Instead I sink back down onto the couch.
“Fuck.”
“That’s the spirit.”
I flip him off. Logan grins.
“Text her.”
Yeah… I can do that. I head back upstairs. The second I walk into my room my chest tightens. Everything still smells like Hannah, her shampoo, her lotion… her. I sit down on the edge of the bed and stare at my phone, then I start typing.
Garrett: I’m really sorry, Hannah.
I stare at it.
Delete it.
Start over.
Garrett: I’m really sorry, Hannah. There is no excuse for the way I treated you tonight.
Garrett: You got rejected from your dream program and instead of being there for you, I made it about me. I’m sorry.
Garrett: I’d really like to talk in person whenever you’re ready. We leave around noon tomorrow for the road trip, but whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there.
I stare at the screen for a second. Then type one more.
Garrett: I love you.
And for the first time all night, I don’t hit send immediately because suddenly I’m terrified that she won’t say it back.
Hannahs POV
Tucker and I don’t talk much during the drive back to my dorm. I think he knows I don’t want to. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what to say. Either way, I’m grateful for the silence.
When we pull up outside my building, Tucker gets out and walks around to the back of his car and pulls my bike out.
“Thanks.”
I manage a small smile and he gives me one in return.
“I’m always here for you, Wellsey.”
The lump in my throat grows.
“Thanks, Tucker.”
I watch him drive away before turning toward the dorm. The cold air stings my cheeks or maybe that’s just because I’ve spent the last twenty minutes trying not to cry.
By the time I reach the door of my dorm, my chest hurts. I should be with Garrett. Curled up against him. Listening to him complain about practice. Watching another episode of Breaking Bad before falling asleep halfway through it.
Instead I’m here… alone.
Because we couldn’t stop hurting each other’s feelings long enough to communicate.
I unlock the door and step inside and then immediately freeze. Dean and Allie practically launch themselves apart on the couch.Neither of them are wearing shirts.
“Oh my God.”
Dean reaches for his shirt.
“Shit. Sorry, Hannah.”
“It’s okay.”
My voice sounds distant.
“I wasn’t supposed to be home tonight.”
Allie is pulling her shirt over her head before I even finish speaking. Normally I’d tease them and give them a hard time… or laugh… or at least make a sarcastic comment. Tonight I just don’t care or have enough energy to care.
Because I should be upstairs in Garrett’s bed.
Not standing here trying not to cry.
My eyes begin to sting.
Damn it.
No.
Not again.
I blink rapidly, trying to stop it, trying to pull myself together. Apparently I’m not successful because Allie’s expression changes instantly. She crosses the room in three seconds flat.
“Hey.”
Her voice softens.
“Why are you home?”
I swallow.
“Garrett and I had a fight.”
The tears spill over immediately, traitors.
Allie’s face hardens.
“What?”
“What did Graham do?” Dean demands.
“Dean—”
“No. Seriously. What did he do?”
“Dean” Allie warns again.
“I’m just saying I can be back at the house in four minutes.”
Despite everything, a laugh almost escapes me… almost. Because I know Garrett isn’t the villain here. He hurt me, sure. But I hurt him too.
The whole thing is a giant mess.
Allie wraps an arm around my shoulders.
“Come sit.”
She guides me to the couch and Dean takes the ottoman across from us. Giving me space while still looking ready to commit a felony on my behalf.
“What happened?” Allie asks gently.
I take a shaky breath.
“Garrett found out about NYU.”
Understanding flashes across her face.
“Oh.”
“I never told him.”
“Oh.”
The guilt immediately returns.
Fresh and sharp.
“He found out from your text.”
Allie winces.
“Oops.”
I laugh weakly.
Then another tear slips down my cheek.
“He got upset.”
I stare down at my hands.
“He was hurt that I didn’t tell him.”
“Which is fair,” Dean says carefully.
I nod.
“Yeah.”
Another tear falls.
“But then he got frustrated.”
My throat tightens.
“And he said…”
I stop. Because saying it out loud somehow makes it more real. Allie squeezes my shoulder.
“What did he say?”
I take a breath.
“He asked when he was going to stop being the guy I date and start being the person I actually lean on.”
The room goes quiet… even Dean. My chest aches all over again.
“And then he said I always talk about us being a team until something’s actually wrong.”
The words hurt just as much now as they did an hour ago. Maybe more, because now I’ve had time to think about them. Allie pulls me closer.
“Oh, Hannah.”
“I know he didn’t mean it.”
The words come out quickly because I do know. I know Garrett. I know he’d had a terrible week. I know he was hurt. I know he regretted it immediately. But that doesn’t stop it from hurting.
“I know he didn’t mean it,” I whisper again.
“But it still hurt.”
Allie nods.
“Of course it did.”
I wipe at my face.
“I should’ve told him.”
“Maybe.”
I glance at her.
“Maybe?”
She shrugs.
“Well… yes, you should’ve.”
Then she nudges my shoulder.
“But Garrett also should’ve handled it better.”
Fair.
Unfortunately, fair doesn’t make me feel any better. A yawn suddenly sneaks up on me. The emotional exhaustion finally catching up. Allie immediately notices.
“Okay.”
She stands.
“Bed.”
I groan.
“Allie.”
“Nope.”
She points toward my room.
“You are emotionally compromised.”
Dean nods.
“She has a point.”
I roll my eyes.
But I let Allie pull me to my feet.
A few minutes later I’m tucked beneath my blankets.
Allie sits beside me, running a hand through my hair. The way she does when I’m upset. I don’t deserve her.
“Get some sleep,” she murmurs.
I nod. And sometime between one blink and the next, I drift off.
When I wake up the next morning, I’m alone. A glass of water sits on my nightstand and beside it is a couple Advil. My phone is plugged into the charger. A small smile pulls at my lips… Allie, the best friend award officially belongs to her.
My head throbs. Apparently crying for two straight hours has consequences.
I grab my phone and… four notifications, all from Garrett. My heart immediately speeds up. I open the messages.
Garrett: I’m really sorry, Hannah. There is no excuse for the way I treated you tonight.
Garrett: You got rejected from your dream program and instead of being there for you, I made it about me. I’m sorry.
Garrett: I’d really like to talk in person whenever you’re ready. We leave around noon tomorrow for the road trip, but whenever you’re ready, I’ll be there.
Garrett: I love you.
My chest tightens because this is Garrett. This is the Garrett I know. The Garrett who apologizes when he’s wrong. The Garrett who would drive across campus at three in the morning if I needed him. God. I miss him. I want to see him. I want to hug him. I want to pretend the last twelve hours never happened.
I check the time.
10:45 AM.
Shit.
They’re leaving at noon.
There’s no way I can get ready and get across campus in time. Disappointment settles heavily in my chest. So instead I text him.
Hannah: I’m really sorry about last night, Garrett. I shouldn’t have left like that.
I stare at the message.
Then add:
Hannah: I should have told you.
Another pause.
Hannah: I love you too.
Three dots appear almost immediately.
My heart jumps.
Garrett: Last night was mostly my fault.
A second later:
Garrett: Okay, like 90% my fault.
Another.
Garrett: Logan says 100% but he’s an idiot.
I laugh.
Actually laugh.
For the first time since yesterday.
Hannah: Logan is probably right.
Garrett: Traitor.
Another message appears.
Garrett: Did you get some sleep?
Hannah: I did.
I stare at the screen.
Then type:
Hannah: I wish it would’ve been in your bed.
His response comes almost immediately.
Garrett: Me too.
The simple answer somehow makes me miss him even more.
Hannah: Good luck tonight.
Garrett: We’ll be back really late Tuesday.
Garrett: Do you want to get coffee Wednesday morning?
A smile spreads across my face.
Hannah: Yes.
After a second I add:
Hannah: I would’ve come to see you this morning. I just woke up late.
Garrett: Wellsey.
Garrett: I’m happy you got some much needed sleep.
God.
I miss him.
***
The next few days drag with classes, homework, studying, a test, more studying… and underneath all of it is this constant ache. Not because we’re fighting… we’re not. But because we haven’t really fixed it either. Not in person at least. Not face-to-face.
I miss him. More than I want to admit.
Tuesday night I’m sitting at my desk staring at our text thread. The last message is still from three hours ago. No double text. No missed calls.
He’s actually giving me space… exactly what I asked for. So why do I suddenly hate it?
I grab my backpack.
That’s it.
I’m done.
I don’t want another night apart. I text Allie that I’m heading out. Then throw some clothes into my bag.
Twenty minutes later I’m unlocking the door to the house. Garretts room is empty and quiet and somehow that makes me miss him even more.
I drop my backpack beside the bed. Then I notice the disaster area Garrett apparently calls a bedroom. I have never seen his room like this, he is oddly a very tidy person. Clothes are everywhere, hockey gear scattered around, and books piled on random surfaces.
My phone flashes low battery… three percent.
Great.
I search for a charger.
Nothing… then I remember. He probably took all of them on the road trip.
I toss my dead phone onto the bed.
Then start cleaning because I can’t study in this messy space. By the time I’m finished, the room actually looks livable.
I sit down on the edge of his bed. The familiar scent of his laundry detergent filling the room and for the first time in days, I feel myself relax. I pull out my schoolwork, set my notebook in my lap, and start working while I wait for Garrett to come home.
Garretts POV
This road series has been exhausting. We lost both games, just barely. Dean and I have not been connecting on ice and we are definitely not connecting off ice. He is pissed about what I said to Hannah. I don’t blame her for telling Dean, I mean I knew Dean was over at her dorm with Allie anyways and he has ears but fuck… he is really making sure I know how bad I fucked up with Hannah this past weekend.
We have been going at it since last week because I really got on his case about missing his footing in a game causing the other team to score the winning goal.
Over the intercom of the plane:
“We are landing in 20 minutes, flight attendants please prepare cabin for arrival.”
I take a deep breath and let out a long sigh.
I can’t wait to get back to campus.
I can’t wait to get back to Hannah.
Fuck.
I miss her.
These last few days have been torture. We haven’t really talked much, the tension from the argument still present. We talked about getting coffee tomorrow, made the plan actually. We are going to the local coffee shop on campus.
But thinking about waiting another night to see Hannah causes me to start shaking my leg. I become restless at the thought.
“You two need to talk.”
Logan nudges my arm.
He snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Who?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid.
“Dean.”
“Oh.”
“Come on man, you two have been at each other’s throats all week and we can’t win any games when you two are acting like children.”
“Why do I have to do it, why can’t Dean?”
“The fact that you just asked that is exactly why you have to do it.”
I groan.
“Because you’re the captain. Act like one.”
Fuck.
He’s right.
I’m acting like a child.
I get up quickly and head over to where Tucker and Dean are sitting. I nudge Tucker in the aisle seat.
“Can we switch seats?”
Tucker gets up immediately.
Over the intercom:
“We need everyone seated with their seatbelts fastened.”
Dean groans.
“What the fuck do you want?”
I sit down and fasten my seatbelt. Dean looks out the window trying to ignore me.
I take a breath.
“I’m sorry.”
That gets his attention.
Barely.
“I shouldn’t have been a total dick about that goal and I definitely made more mistakes in that game than anyone. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry.”
Dean just stares at me.
Then his shoulders loosen slightly.
“I’m sorry too.”
I blink.
That was easier than expected.
Dean looks down at his hands for a second.
“You were being a dick.”
“Yeah.”
“Like a really big dick.”
I roll my eyes.
“Thanks.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
Dean sighs.
“But I was being a dick too.”
I smirk.
“Yeah.”
Dean points at me.
“Don’t tell anybody I admitted that.”
A laugh escapes me.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
I put out my hand.
“Truths?”
He grabs it with a nod.
“Truths.”
***
We land and when we all four get in Logan’s car to head back to the house I have this sickening feeling.
I need to see Hannah.
I miss her and I need to apologize to her.
I know it’s late and she’s probably sleeping but I just need to see her… to feel her.
Logan starts the car and starts driving.
“Can you actually drop me off at Wellsey’s instead?”
“Sure.”
Logan drops me off and I head right up to her dorm.
I texted her on the way to her dorm but I didn’t get a reply… she’s probably sleeping and Allie will hate me for waking them both up.
I knock and to my surprise the door opens shortly after.
It’s Allie.
“Hey.”
She’s all ready for bed. I must’ve caught her right before she was going to sleep.
“Hey, Wellsey home?”
“She should be in her room.”
I give her a nod and head to Hannah’s room while Allie heads back to hers.
I knock lightly in case Hannah is awake, even though I know that’s not the case.
I quietly open the door.
The lights are off but…
I don’t see Hannah.
I look around.
Then turn on the lights.
Definitely no Hannah.
Her backpack is also gone.
Shit.
She must be studying at the library or something.
I take out my phone to check her location so I can go sit with her, help quiz her, take her a late night study snack, anything…
I just want to be in her orbit.
Her phone is probably dead.
That’s all.
Her phone is dead.
Except Hannah always carries a charger.
And Hannah always tells me where she’s going.
And Hannah always answers me.
The sick feeling in my stomach gets worse.
When I pull up her location it doesn’t have one. It hasn’t recorded her location for hours.
What the fuck.
I know there are chargers at the library that she could use.
Why the fuck is her location off?
She would’ve told me if she was going to the library as well.
She always lets me know when she’s out after dark so I know she gets home safe.
I rush out of her room and head straight to Allie’s door and knock.
No answer.
I know again, probably a little too aggressive.
I hear a groan behind the door before it swings open.
“What?”
Allie stands in front of me, clearly irritated I interrupted her sleep.
“Hannah isn’t here and her location isn’t on and she didn’t say anything about going to the library and her backpack is gone and—”
Allie stops me.
“Her location isn’t on?”
“No Allie and she won’t respond and—”
“Take a deep breath.”
I try.
Fail.
She ignores that.
“Maybe she went to the hockey house.”
Okay.
Yeah.
That could make sense.
I immediately pull out my phone and call Logan.
He answers right away.
“What’s up?”
“Is Hannah there?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean is Hannah fucking there? She isn’t here and her phone is off or something and… just please can you check around to see if Hannah is there.”
I hear Logan tell Tucker and Dean to look around.
After what feels like an eternity I hear Tucker from upstairs.
“Uh…”
My entire body locks up.
“Tucker?” Logan calls.
Another second passes.
Then:
“She’s asleep in Garrett’s bed.”
Oh my God.
Thank God.
I take in the biggest breath of my life.
Holy shit.
Thank fucking God.
Allie places a hand on my shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
I can feel the tears forming in my eyes.
Fuck.
That scared the ever loving shit out of me.
“Yeah.”
My voice cracks.
“Yeah.”
“Shit, I don’t have my car.”
I say it more to myself than anyone.
“I can drive you.”
I nod.
Thank God.
When we get to the house I practically rip open the front door and run up the stairs.
I barely register Allie running over to kiss Dean in the living room.
I storm up to my room and throw open the door.
Hannah sleepily jumps up.
Hannah.
Jesus Christ.
She’s here.
She’s safe.
She’s okay.
The tension that’s been wrapped around my chest for the last thirty minutes snaps all at once.
Hannah.
Fuck.
I love this girl.
She gives me a lazy smile.
“Shit, I fell asleep. I was going to surprise you.”
I walk over to her.
I’m so relieved but also I was terrified something happened to her.
What if—
No.
I can’t think about that.
“Hey… oh my God, what’s wrong?”
She sits on her knees and reaches up and grabs my face.
“Garrett?”
She wipes away a lone tear that falls.
I didn’t even realize I was crying.
“Fuck. Sorry.”
I wipe at my face aggressively.
“What’s wrong?”
I let out a shaky breath.
“I went to your dorm to surprise you.”
Her face immediately softens.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
I laugh weakly.
“Turns out you beat me to it.”
A small smile appears on her face.
But now that I’ve started talking, I can’t stop.
“You weren’t there.”
“Hmm.”
“Your phone was off.”
Understanding immediately flashes across her face.
“Oh.”
“And your location wasn’t updating.”
Now she looks horrified.
“Oh my God.”
“And I got so fucking scared, Hannah.”
My voice cracks.
“I was trying not to panic but I was absolutely panicking.”
“Oh my God, Garrett.”
She reaches for me immediately.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t.”
My voice comes out rough.
“Don’t apologize.”
She looks confused.
I take a deep breath.
“I just… I went to your dorm and… well you obviously weren’t there and I checked your location to see if you were at the library or something and it was off, your phone was off. And I got so fucking scared Hannah and I—”
“Oh my God Garrett. I’m so sorry. I didn’t check my phone and when I got here it was dead and I looked for your charger but you obviously had it with you and I fell asleep… and I’m really sorry.”
I shake my head.
“You don’t need to apologize.”
I grab Hannah and pull her into a hug.
I nuzzle into her hair and breathe in the drug that is Hannah.
“I was just worried.”
I press a kiss to the top of her head.
“But I’m so relieved that I’m with you.”
I feel her arms tighten around me.
“I missed you.”
The words come out before I can stop them.
Hannah squeezes me tighter.
“I missed you too.”
God.
I missed her so much.
I let her down and she slides her hands up my torso, lifting my shirt.
I pull it over my head and toss it aside.
“Come on.”
She smiles sleepily.
“Let’s go to bed. You must be exhausted.”
I let out a deep breath.
Yeah.
Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it.
I climb into bed beside her and immediately pull her into my chest.
The second she curls against me everything finally settles.
For the first time in days, everything feels right again.
I hold Hannah tightly against me.
I watch her as she slowly drifts asleep on my chest and whisper to her.
“I love you so much Wellsey.”
I continue to comb my fingers through her silky brown hair.
“Someday we are going to be married and have kids… well… only if that’s what you want. Anything you want Wellsey.”
I kiss her forehead and take in her scent once more.
“You are my everything. Thank you for trusting me… believing in me.”
I think about our future as I slowly drifts asleep.
***
I wake up in a bit of a panic.
For half a second, all I remember is the feeling from last night. Standing in Hannah’s empty dorm room. Seeing her location wasn’t updating. Thinking something might’ve happened to her.
My chest tightens instantly.
Then I feel her.
The weight of her lying on my chest.
Her arm wrapped around my stomach.
The steady rise and fall of her breathing.
And just like that, I’m at ease.
I wrap my arms around her a little tighter.
God.
I missed this.
I missed her.
Hannah begins to stir.
She blinks a few times before looking up at me.
“Good morning.”
I press a kiss to the top of her head.
A small smile spreads across her face.
“Morning.”
“How’d you sleep?”
She lets out a content sigh and nuzzles closer.
“Better than I have all week.”
A laugh escapes me.
“Me too.”
We lie there quietly for a few moments.
Neither of us in any hurry to move.
Honestly, I’d be perfectly happy staying right here all day.
Unfortunately, there’s still something hanging between us.
The fight.
Not as heavy as it was a few days ago.
But still there.
Still waiting for us.
I shift slightly.
Trying not to disturb her.
Apparently I’m not successful because Hannah immediately sits up.
Probably sensing the change in my mood.
I open my mouth.
“So we should prob—”
“Probably talk.”
We both stop.
Then laugh softly.
At least we’re finally back to finishing each other’s sentences.
Neither of us speaks for a second.
Trying to decide who goes first.
I decide it should be me.
Because I need her to understand how sorry I am.
“I’ll start.”
I reach for her hands.
She lets me take them.
We’re sitting face-to-face now.
Same height.
Same level.
Exactly where we need to be.
“Hannah, I need you to know how sorry I am for what I said.”
“It’s oka—”
“No.”
I shake my head immediately.
“No, Wellsey.”
I squeeze her hands gently.
“It wasn’t okay.”
She falls quiet.
I take a breath.
“I never should’ve said that stuff about you not treating us like a team.”
The guilt immediately returns.
Because I still hate myself for it.
“I knew it wasn’t true the second I said it.”
Her eyes soften.
“I was hurt and frustrated and I took it out on you.”
I swallow hard.
“And you didn’t deserve that.”
For a moment she just looks at me.
Then she squeezes my hands back.
“I’m sorry too.”
I shake my head.
“Hannah—”
“No.”
She gives me a small smile.
“My turn.”
Fair enough.
She takes a breath.
“I should’ve told you about NYU.”
I start to protest.
She keeps going.
“I was embarrassed.”
Her eyes drop to our joined hands.
“I didn’t want to think about it. I definitely didn’t want to talk about it.”
I nod.
Because I understand that.
“I wasn’t trying to hide it from you.”
“I know.”
“I just…”
She pauses.
Searching for the words.
“I didn’t want to add to your plate.”
That hurts.
Not because she’s wrong.
Because I know she genuinely believed that.
“You have hockey.”
She shrugs.
“School. Everything else.”
“Hannah.”
I reach up and gently cup her cheek.
Waiting until she looks back at me.
“You never have to worry about adding to my plate.”
She watches me carefully.
Like she’s trying to figure out if I really mean it.
So I make sure she can see that I do.
“I want to know when something’s wrong.”
My thumb brushes across her cheek.
“I want to be there.”
“Garrett—”
“No, seriously.”
I smile softly.
“I love you.”
The words come easily.
Because they’re true.
“I love being there for you.”
I shake my head.
“You’re not some obligation I have to deal with.”
Her eyes immediately get glassy.
“Hannah, you’re my favorite person.”
That earns a watery laugh.
Good.
“I mean it.”
I lean forward slightly.
“Let me worry.”
A small smile appears on her face.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
She nods.
“Okay.”
Relief washes through me.
I brush my lips lightly against hers.
A soft kiss.
The kind that says everything we spent the last week trying to say.
She leans into it immediately.
And for the first time in days, everything finally feels right again.
God.
It’s good to be home.