Chapter Text
The Disir stood before Merlin and Arthur in the dark cave. Arthur had finally accepted that this was a sacred place meant for worship and communion with the gods and had left his sword outside. The Disir appeared as three ancient beings wrapped in ashen gray robes. Each one held a staff of gnarled wood. They were here as the representatives of the triple goddess, the creator of all magic.
Merlin could feel the magic in the air. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, as if it were whispering in his ear, calling to the magic that ran through his own blood.
Arthur knelt before the mysterious creatures, his armor flashing in the reflected light of the deep, glowing pool separating him from them. Merlin could faintly hear water rushing from somewhere deeper in the cave, the water running from the depths into the pool before them.
"Arthur Pendragon. King of Camelot. Back again so soon," the Disir said in a voice that was not of this world. It was impossible to tell which of the three beings was speaking. They all shared the same voice, yet their mouths didn't move. It was as if they were speaking directly into Arthur and Merlin’s minds.
"My men and I behaved with arrogance and stupidity. We dishonored this place and insulted your faith. I humbly beg your forgiveness. One amongst us, Sir Mordred, may yet pay the ultimate price. He risked his own life to save mine when we were here last and was gravely injured. I have come here to petition you for his life, and answer for the wrongs you claim I have committed against you." Arthur said as he knelt on the hard ground.
"Claim?” The Disir hissed. “Why should we help you? Is this not retribution for the crimes you have committed?" The Disir hissed in a way that sent a chill down Merlin's spine.
"I ask for help not for myself, but for a young man whose only crime was to sacrifice himself for his king. Don't let him be punished in my place." Arthur replied, hoping that the ancient beings could be capable of such mercy.
Merlin tensed at his words. Arthur was walking a very dangerous line. The Disir called him here for his crimes against the old religion and those who follow it. Merlin was unsure about their power and knew it could be greater than his own. He inched closer to Arthur, keeping his eyes on the unearthly beings before them. His duty was to protect Arthur at all costs, and he wouldn't hesitate to put himself in harm’s way, just as Sir Mordred had only days before.
"The future holds much pain and suffering for you, Arthur Pendragon. For you and your people. If you wish to save all you hold dear, if you wish to save your kingdom and the one you call Sir Mordred, embrace the old religion. Bow to the goddess. End the suffering of her people. Only then will we release the curse that now afflicts your young knight."
Arthur's head fell at their impossible request. He stared at the stone beneath his feet for a moment, breathing deeply.
"You know I can't do that," Arthur replied, defeated.
"Consider carefully. You have until dawn." The Disir replied before vanishing, leaving the cave empty and silent.
Arthur remained kneeling for a few moments, his arm braced against his knee.
He had risked everything in coming here. He had knelt before creatures of the old religion, going against everything he had been taught, and pleaded for the life of a man who was thankfully still innocent. That act alone had to have been incredibly difficult for him, and yet it wasn't enough.
He stood and turned to leave the cave, not sparing a glance at Merlin. They returned to their horses and removed their saddlebags. The sun had set, the last hints of dusk fading away, and they would need a fire to keep them warm and safe through the night. Merlin unpacked their things and started the fire without saying a word. He knew that Arthur was deep in thought and considering the impossible choice before him.
On top of the ordeal of saving Mordred’s life, Merlin could see how much the Disir’s charges had affected Arthur these past few days. He had worked so hard to become a fair and just king, and for someone, even a creature of magic, to claim otherwise was eating him up inside.
After a few minutes, they were settled and eating the small portion of food Merlin had brought with them for the journey. They could see the mouth of the cave from where they had camped, and they both looked toward it occasionally, as if they were expecting the triple goddess herself to emerge at any moment.
"How did you know this place was sacred? The last time we came, I mean. You knew before we had even entered that cave," Arthur asked, breaking their long silence.
"It's obvious," Merlin replied, adding a piece of wood to the fire. The moisture on the wood sizzled and popped as it hit the flames, sending small puffs of smoke into the air. He realized too late that maybe that hadn’t been the best answer, but something about this moment, alone with Arthur in a magical wood, brought forth dangerously honest words.
"Pretend it isn't," Arthur said. He leaned back against the steep rocky side of the ravine, watching the dancing flames with his arms crossed over his chest.
Merlin looked around at the trees towering over the ravine on either side of them. He breathed deeply, sensing the magic of the place pouring over his skin like honey.
"Well, besides the many totems you and the knights so carelessly ignored, everything here is alive. More alive than usual. It's as if the world is... vibrating. As if everything is much more than meets the eye." Merlin replied as he gazed into the forest. He loved places like this, so full of magic he could almost taste it on his tongue. They called to something deep within him. He always walked away from them reinvigorated, as if he had just had a full night of the most restful sleep imaginable.
"You feel all that?" Arthur asked skeptically, a line appearing between his brows.
"Don't you?" Merlin met Arthur’s eyes across the fire. Arthur shook his head.
Merlin wondered what it would be like to be without magic. Without the force that tethered him to the world. Was it peaceful? But this was all Merlin had ever known. Ever since he had been a small child, magic was instinctual for him. Unfortunately, he found that it caused just as much trouble as it prevented, especially in this kingdom.
"What will you do? About their demand?" Merlin asked, staring into the fire instead of meeting Arthur's eyes.
"I don't know," Arthur replied with a sigh. "My heart tells me to do anything I can to save Sir Mordred, but I've seen what misery sorcery brings. Before my father outlawed magic, it almost destroyed Camelot. Magic took my mother from me, and then my father. It has turned Morgana against me. It has threatened my life and the lives of those I love more times than I can count. And now accepting magic back into my kingdom is the only way to save a man who does not deserve to die.” Arthur breathed deeply, the pain of the memories flooding through him. “I should never have brought him to this place.”
“You couldn’t have known what would happen.” This quest had started as pleasantly as could be expected, considering the situation. Sure, they had been hunting a murderous sorcerer, but young Mordred had been excited to be welcomed on such an important mission, and the other knights had teased him fondly for it.
“What would you do? In my place?" Arthur asked, after a minute of silence.
"Me?" Merlin replied and shrugged his shoulders, "I'm just a servant. Maker of beds. Bringer of meals. Mucker of stables."
"Servants can be wise. Sometimes." Arthur said in his usual sarcastic tone, although his jaw was clenched with worry.
If Arthur thought this problem was impossible for him, he had no idea how hard it was for Merlin. Merlin's magic had allowed him to see Arthur's future long ago, and he saw that Mordred would be the cause of Arthur's death. If Mordred were to die now, he would not be alive to kill Arthur later. This might be the solution Merlin had been desperately searching for. But letting Mordred's life end now, and convincing Arthur not to kneel before the Disir and accept the old religion back into the kingdom would mean further suffering for innocent sorcerers. And he couldn't share any of this information with Arthur without condemning himself as a traitor, destined to face the gallows.
"Not all sorcerers are evil. Your father hated magic because it took your mother from him. Uther's hate drove Morgana and others like her to evil. You speak of sorcerers who have attacked you and Camelot, but these people have hate in their hearts, just like your father had. There will always be people like that, whether magic is outlawed or not." Merlin explained.
Uther Pendragon had made a deal with a sorcerer for Arthur to be born and become his heir, but magic always demands a price. You cannot create a life with magic without taking one in return. The scales must be balanced, and unfortunately for Arthur’s mother, that meant she didn’t live to see her son grow up.
Merlin knew that if there were ever to be a time to change Arthur's mind about magic, it would be now. If Arthur chose to accept magic back into his kingdom, maybe Merlin could find some other way to deal with Mordred and keep Arthur safe. If that meant killing Mordred himself when the time came, Merlin would do it, but he hoped it would never come to that.
"And maybe my father was right to hate it. Who would say that something like the death of my mother wouldn't happen again? What if innocent people suffer? A sorcerer just killed one of my knights, and I have another on his deathbed as we speak! I must protect Camelot. Sorcery could overpower us. What if repealing the ban on magic sends Camelot into chaos and I can no longer protect my people?" Arthur asked with desperation in his dark blue eyes.
"You have always protected the kingdom from those who wish to do it harm, Arthur, to the best of your ability. You will continue to do so no matter what you decide,” Merlin replied. If there was one thing he was sure about, it was that Arthur would protect Camelot with his life.
"Camelot has lived with the ban on magic for decades. The people don't trust it. They see it as evil." Arthur said, tossing a stick into the fire. He didn’t need to say that he, too, saw it as evil.
"Camelot can change. You have changed it already. Commoners can become knights, women can become royal counselors, and people are free to marry as they please. You have seen past titles and class. Why not see past this? People don't choose to be born with magic. Are they to suffer simply because they were born in one kingdom and not another?" That question seemed to affect Arthur greatly as his expression softened momentarily. Magic hadn’t always been outlawed in these lands, and Merlin thought about what it must have been like for sorcerers to be free. The only difference between then and now was the word of a hateful king.
"So you think I should bow to the goddess, accept the old religion, and save Mordred? All of my father's work would be for nothing. Sorcery will reign once more in Camelot. Is that what you want?" Arthur asked, his eyes narrow and cold.
No. Yes. Merlin's mind swung like a pendulum between the two options. The image of Arthur's death flashed through his mind, Mordred burying a sword into Arthur’s chest. Deep down, Merlin knew that the future he saw in those crystals could be changed, and letting Mordred meet his end now could be the change he needed. Kilgharrah’s many warnings about Mordred weighed heavily on Merlin, but the dragon’s prophecies were always so vague. If the future could be changed and Mordred could be redeemed, how was Merlin supposed to know when it was too late? It was an impossible problem.
“Perhaps my father was wrong. Perhaps the old ways aren’t as evil as we thought.” Arthur continued after Merlin didn’t reply. "So what should I do? Accept magic? Or let Mordred die?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper now. The king would never speak to anyone else like this, would never allow his self-doubt to be so visible to anyone but Merlin.
Merlin's chest rose and fell quickly as he considered each option. He looked up and met Arthur's desperate gaze, and he knew this was the moment that would change everything. Will they bring Albion into the golden age of prophecy, or will they condemn it to ruin? Would Merlin have another chance to sway Arthur to accept magic, or is this his only option? If Mordred lived to see another day, what would happen to Arthur?
We must know for certain before we act. Gaius’s words rang through Merlin’s mind. It was true. Merlin refused to condemn a man for a future that had yet to come to pass, for a crime he might commit. There was still time, and as long as Merlin was at Arthur’s side, what he saw in that crystal would not come to pass.
"I think you should follow your heart and save Mordred. But whatever happens tomorrow, know that we will face it together. You are destined to be the greatest king Camelot has ever known, so whatever choice you make will be the right one." Merlin replied, his voice shaking slightly as tears threatened to well in his eyes from the fear of losing Arthur.
Arthur took in his words and considered them for a moment. He nodded slightly, then leaned back to stare up at the night sky. The only person who could make this decision was him, for better or for worse.