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Beomgyu should have said no. It should not have mattered that Yeonjun had pouted at him and whined about how they both needed to blow off steam after the long week. Beomgyu should have just stayed at home, ordered takeout and played League of Legends like he had originally planned.
Unfortunately, he does love his friend, which is how he found himself exchanging his favorite cozy sweatpants for the tight leather pants Yeonjun had thrown at him. He knows by now not to complain when Yeonjun styles him for a night out. After all, his hyung is so much better at making him look hot than he ever could. Even when Yeonjun drags eyeliner across his waterline and adds glitter to his cheekbones, he sits obediently. If nothing else, he has hopes he’ll get something worthy of posting on instagram out of tonight.
He finds himself shoved in the back of an Uber, Yeonjun on his left and Soobin on his right. His mouth still burns from the shots of tequila they had hurriedly thrown back when the driver was a few minutes away. Yeonjun and Soobin are talking animatedly but he’s zoned out, staring at the floor of the car. He always gets hit by a bit of anxiety before they arrive at a crowded place. Yeonjun knows him well because he taps Beomgyu’s knee to get his attention.
“Whenever you’re ready to leave, we can go, okay Gyu?” He smiles at him and the glitter on his eyelids dances in the streetlights. Yeonjun may be a by the definition extrovert but he understands his two introverted friends and is always so careful not to push too far. He knew Beomgyu needed the push to go but would never not let him leave. The reassurance lets Beomgyu release the tension from his shoulders.
-
Beomgyu can’t stop staring at him. He’s sure it must be incredibly obvious that he hasn’t looked away once since he first noticed him, but he can’t help it. He’s teetering past the edge of tipsy, nearly drunk. His body sways a bit not really following any rhythm as he stands next to Soobin at the bar. Originally, they were both watching Yeonjun in the crowd as he moved between bodies on the floor. Beomgyu had started scanning the crowd but his gaze had quickly latched on to one figure in particular. He was taller than Beomgyu remembered and his hair was dyed a dark navy but Beomgyu knows it’s him.
When he moved to Seoul, he hadn’t been sure if Taehyun still lived there. He remembered being fifteen and hating the city for taking his best friend away. How ironic then, that he ended up moving there too? As he looks at Taehyun on the dance floor, he’s reminded of the fourteen year old boy he held in his arms on that last day. His lashes had clumped with tears and Beomgyu had swallowed down his own. After all, he was losing a friend but Taehyun was losing everything he had ever known.
Beomgyu blinks away the memory when he feels someone nudging his shoulder.
“Are you okay, Beomgyu-ah?” Soobin leans in close to his ear so Beomgyu can hear him over the bass in the club. That is, of course, the moment Kang Taehyun makes eye contact with Beomgyu.
Beomgyu watches various emotions pass over Taehyun’s face in the span of about five seconds. He sees the confusion at someone staring at him then recognition and lastly something Beomgyu can’t quite place as his eyes flicker between Beomgyu and Soobin next to him. Taehyun’s face settles on a small smile and then he turns to the man next to him and says something. Suddenly, they’re both moving and Beomgyu can feel his stomach drop when he realizes that they’re headed towards the bar, towards him.
In his distraction, Beomgyu completely ignored Soobin. When Beomgyu looks at him, he can see concern written all over his face.
“Sorry, what did you say?” Beomgyu says, guiltily. He can’t keep his eyes on Soobin though, because Taehyun and that stranger are still moving through the crowd, headed for them.
“I asked if you were okay. You’ve been pretty zoned out for a while, Gyu. Do you want to leave? I can go get Hyung and tell him we’re ready to go.” Beomgyu shakes his head, still not looking at him and it's then that Soobin finally notices the two men headed in their direction.
“Do you know them?” Soobin asks.
“Do you remember my friend from childhood? Taehyun? The one who left for Seoul with his family?” Beomgyu feels himself babbling the words a bit and he hopes Soobin is able to piece it together on his own because the two men are in front of them almost as soon as Beomgyu finishes speaking.
“Choi Beomgyu? Is that you?” Taehyun’s changed so much but those eyes are still the same as they sparkle of the lights of the bar behind them.
“Taehyun-ah? Yes, it’s me. Wow, it’s been so long, I really can’t believe it.” Beomgyu’s last bit of sobriety stops his rambling before he can say something too embarrassing.
“I almost didn’t recognize you, hyung. Do you live in Seoul now?” Beomgyu can feel the same excitement radiating off of Taehyun as he would back in Daegu when Beomgyu would agree to go to the arcade with him.
“Yes, I, uh, moved here a few years back. Have you been here this whole time?” Beomgyu feels a bit guilty for not reaching out to Taehyun sooner considering he has been living in Seoul for years. He honestly just wasn’t sure if the younger would have any interest in picking up a friendship that had ended so long ago. It had hurt losing such a close friend but that was such a normal experience for adolescence. So few people were still friends with their childhood friends, especially ones who had moved away like Taehyun had. He was sure Taehyun had made all new friends in Seoul and even if Beomgyu still thought of him, he wasn’t sure if Taehyun would say the same about him.
“Yes, I ended up studying at SNU. I guess my dad was right and there were a lot of opportunities here in Seoul.” Taehyun laughs a bit awkwardly. Beomgyu remembers how when Taehyun was upset about leaving Daegu for his dad’s job, his dad had just told Taehyun that he should be excited to have so many opportunities he wouldn’t otherwise have had if they stayed in Daegu.
“What did you study, Taehyun-ah?” Beomgyu can’t stop himself from asking. He wishes it was socially acceptable to ask Taehyun to give him a full replay of the last ten years of his life that Beomgyu wasn’t a part of.
“Ah, engineering. I work at an engineering firm in Jongno-gu now actually.” Beomgyu feels a bit of unearned pride at that. He had always known Taehyun would be successful. He was so smart, even back when Beomgyu was just a dumb teenager.
“What about you, hyung?” Beomgyu shifts a bit awkwardly.
“Oh, I work for a music company.” Before Taehyun can respond, Soobin joins the conversation. Frankly, Beomgyu had forgotten he was still there.
“Pardon me, Taehyun-ssi, but I think Beomgyu is being a little too modest. He’s a music producer.” Soobin is well acquainted with Beomgyu’s insecurities around his job. While Beomgyu has worked so hard to get to where he is, not everyone back in Daegu sees it that way. Beomgyu is sure that Soobin is trying to be helpful but he can feel the way the air has shifted.
“Wow, that’s so cool, hyung!” Taehyun’s eyes are sparkling at him for just a moment before he seems to process Soobin.
“I’m sorry, I’m so rude for not introducing myself to you and just overtaking your evening. I’m Kang Taehyun. Beomgyu hyung and I grew up together back in Daegu. Oh and this is my friend Huening Kai.” Both Taehyun and Huening Kai bow slightly.
“Oh, that’s okay Taehyun-ssi. Beomgyu-ah has mentioned you before. I’m so glad you’re finally able to catch up. My name is Choi Soobin.” Soobin’s smile is genuine, dimples appearing.
Beomgyu watches Taehyun take in the fact that Beomgyu remembered him enough to mention him to his friend and is delighted to see the smile return to his face.
“Nice to meet you, Soobin-ssi. Beomgyu hyung, Kai and I probably should head out but I am really so glad we ran into each other.” If Beomgyu hadn’t been drunk, that probably would have been the end and Kang Taehyun would have slipped away from him for the second time.
“Wait, Taehyun-ah, can I get your number? It would be nice to properly catch up sometime, if you would like. No pressure obviously.” Beomgyu could kick himself for the awkward phrasing but there’s no changing it now.
Taehyun looks surprised but not displeased as he inputs his contact into Beomgyu’s phone. He notices Taehyun looking towards Soobin but it doesn’t linger. Beomgyu texts Taehyun so that they both have properly exchanged numbers and then Taehyun and Kai disappear back into the crowd.
Before Soobin can do anything to acknowledge what just happened, Beomgyu scans the crowd again.
“Hyung, we lost Yeonjun.”
“Oh fuck not again.”
At least now Soobin won’t be able to interrogate Beomgyu on how it felt seeing his first crush for the first time in ten years. Well, not yet at least. Beomgyu is sure Soobin won’t forget.
-
Luckily, Soobin and Beomgyu find Yeonjun leaning against the wall near the bathrooms at the back of the club. His shirt sticks to his skin with sweat from being in the crowd and he’s definitely the drunkest of the three but honestly not by much.
“Should we head out?” Yeonjun stumbles a bit when he stands fully upright but catches himself. Soobin takes the opportunity to wrap an arm around his waist even if it's mostly unneeded. Yeonjun really isn’t that drunk but Beomgyu won’t point it out. Especially, considering what Soobin just saw back by the bar.
In fact, Beomgyu’s phone burns in his back pocket. His phone that now contains Kang Taehyun’s phone number and a promise of them catching up. Beomgyu has to be realistic. He’s always been a bit of a hopeless romantic and is quick to let emotions cloud his judgment. He’s certainly headed for trouble if he lets himself entertain the thought of anything happening between him and Taehyun.
Yet, when he’s finally back home in bed, he finds his mind drifting a bit to the possibility of him and Taehyun becoming friends again. Even he’s not foolish enough to think that things will be exactly the way they used to be. After all, back then they were both just teenagers. He knows that he is so different now and has lived so much life without Taehyun in it. There’s a part of him that is scared that Taehyun won’t like this version of him. Taehyun must still be imagining the old Beomgyu, one who was planning to go to college and who hadn’t come out to anyone ever.
It hits Beomgyu then that Taehyun probably doesn’t know that he is gay. It was something that Beomgyu had only really come to terms with right after Taehyun left. It’s a bit ironic that it took Taehyun leaving for Beomgyu to realize just how deep his feelings for his younger friend went. Often, he is thankful. Beomgyu wears his heart on his sleeve and his emotions on his face. Back then, he and Taehyun saw each other nearly every day. He doesn’t think he could have hid those feelings from him once he realized. He also feels certain that the version of him that was coming to terms with being gay wouldn’t have been the kind of friend Taehyun deserved.
Beomgyu forces himself to take a breath. He leaps to conclusions so quickly. He’ll text Taehyun tomorrow and see where things go. They’ve barely talked and he’s already exploring disastrous avenues based on nothing. He needs to sleep and shut his brain off.
-
Beomgyu wakes up at 7am because he can never sleep after drinking. He’s sure Yeonjun is still passed out in his room. He knows he won’t fall back asleep, so he heads to the shower. He tries not to think about the dried club sweat that clings to his skin as he checks his phone on his way. He nearly drops his phone on the tiled floor of the bathroom when he sees the top notification.
Kang Taehyun: I really am so glad I ran into you last night, hyung. If you’re free, let’s meet up sometime this week?
The message was sent only 15 minutes ago. Maybe Taehyun also can’t sleep after a night of drinking. Beomgyu remembers that he had always been an early riser even as a teenager. Should he reply? You don’t overthink texting your friends. This is no different than texting Yeonjun. He tries to convince himself but he isn’t sure it works. Either way, he responds.
me too!! Im free tomorrow night if you are? I get off work at 6.
Beomgyu hopes that isn’t too soon. He sends the message and then forces himself to put the phone down and shower. He knows he’ll just sit and stew over it otherwise.
-
To Beomgyu’s genuine surprise, Taehyun had responded almost immediately.
That works for me!
Link
Would you want to meet at this restaurant at 7 tomorrow?
Beomgyu clicks the link to the restaurant that Taehyun had sent. Something about going out to dinner feels so much like going on a date that he can feel his palms between to get clammy. Dinner isn’t anything he reminds himself. You’ve had dinner with Yeonjun a million times. Be normal.
Looks good! See you then :)
If he takes five minutes to decide if ending the message with a smiley face is appropriate then no one has to know.
-
Beomgyu is grateful that Yeonjun wasn’t with him when Taehyun found him at the club. Yeonjun is pushy and there’s no way he would be willing to drop it if he knew. Beomgyu really isn’t interested in talking about it, at least not until after they have dinner tomorrow. He isn’t sure how he feels about seeing Taehyun again but if he told Yeonjun that, the older man would just assume he’s deflecting talking about his feelings. Beomgyu wouldn’t even be able to be that mad because he’s created the precedent for that but still. Luckily, Yeonjun has no idea about what happened last night.
-
When Beomgyu walks into the living room, Yeonjun and Soobin are both sitting on the couch looking at him. He feels like a teenager caught by their parents coming home after curfew. He’s shocked Yeonjun is awake so soon after drinking but he supposes the iced americano the older man is cradling in his hands must be helping. He can tell from the looks on both their faces that Soobin has spilled everything that happened last night. They’re both looking at him like he’s a stray cat they’re trying to coax into the house, like if they move too suddenly he’ll run.
“Soobin hyung, why did you bring Yeonjun coffee but not me.” He whines. Maybe if he plays up the hungover dongsaeng angle they’ll drop the Taehyun thing at least for a bit.
“I’m your hyung also, you brat. Plus, Soobinie left your coffee in the kitchen for you.” But before Beomgyu can turn to get it, Soobin stands.
“Sit down, Gyu. I’ll grab it for you.” Soobin lightly pushes him over to the couch next to Yeonjun and Beomgyu topples slightly on top of him.
“Ow! Get off.” Yeonjun yelps but his hand grips Beomgyu’s wrist so he can sit up but can’t leave.
Soobin comes back with Beomgyu’s coffee in one hand and a bakery box in the other hand. He sets it on the table in front of them and Yeonjun immediately pulls a bread out. Beomgyu’s stomach turns and he isn’t sure if its the hangover or the dread causing it.
“So, I told hyung about what happened last night.” Soobin at least has the decency to look bashful about it.
“You make it sound like something crazy happened. You’re acting like you’re giving me an intervention or something. It was basically nothing.” Beomgyu crosses his arms over his chest.
“Right because seeing the guy you were in love with at 15 for the first time in ten years totally didn’t bring up any big feelings at all.” Yeonjun’s words are biting but his gaze is soft. Beomgyu supposes that Soobin and Yeonjun have seen enough of his anxiety taking over to feel this situation warrants an intervention. Admittedly, Beomgyu is prone to letting everything build up inside his head until it explodes. Soobin and Yeonjun have been there for many of those eruptions so he can’t really be mad at them for trying to be preventative.
“I get why you would think that based on what I told you but come on. I was 15 then and I’m 25 now. I’m obviously not still in love with the guy. If I was ever actually in love with him in the first place. Can you even fall in love at that age? Probably not.” He feels Soobin grab his hand. He hadn’t noticed that he was pulling at his pants as he talked but there’s a loose thread on his sweatpants now.
“Gyu, no one is saying you’re still in love with him. But, losing that friendship was a really pivotal moment in your life right?” Yeonjun looks at him like he’s a porcelain doll. Beomgyu nods gently, he’s starting to worry he might shatter too.
“So, I’m sure that is bringing up some of those old not so great feelings. Soobin and I don’t want you to lock yourself in your head. We’re here for you, dude.” It’s so classic Yeonjun to end something so heartfelt with “dude.” Beomgyu has to hold himself back from falling straight into his arms. He takes a deep breath. He has to talk about it.
“I am really glad I saw him like genuinely. I guess I’m just afraid that I won’t live up to the version of me that he remembers. Like, he doesn’t know I chose not to go to college. He probably doesn’t even know I’m gay. The last time we saw each other I was his tough hyung that held him while he was so upset about leaving and now I’m an anxious gay wreck.” There’s tears in the corners of his eyes so he blinks them away.
Yeonjun rubs his back soothingly.
“Of course you’ve changed. Surely, Taehyun doesn’t expect you to be exactly the same as you were when you were fifteen. That would be so weird!” Soobin is almost chuckling at the end of it.
“Yeah and he’s changed too, I’m sure. No one stays the same for ten years.” Yeonjun adds on.
“But what if he’s changed in good ways and I’ve…” Beomgyu trails off although he’s sure that his hyungs can fill in what he left unsaid.
“Oh Gyu.” Yeonjun wraps his arms around him then, cradling his head against him. When Beomgyu is in a good mood, he would act disgusted at the thought of Yeonjun being so gentle but whatever. He’s needy right now.
“Beomgyu, you have been through so much and turned out so wonderful. I’m sure Taehyun will be so proud to see what a great person his hyung is now.” Soobin is looking at him like he means every word wholeheartedly. Beomgyu just sighs.
-
Beomgyu spends the rest of the day on the couch, with his head in Yeonjun’s lap. They rewatch one of his favorite dramas without complaining from either Yeonjun or Soobin. They let him eat his favorite gummies for lunch but order lots of takeout for dinner. Soobin leaves after helping them clean up the kitchen. Yeonjun hugs him tightly before they go to their separate rooms for bed. Beomgyu reminds himself that no matter what happens with Taehyun tomorrow, he has the absolute best friends in the world. Yet somehow that thought feels unfair to sweet fourteen year old Taehyun who had never given him a reason not to trust him. He supposes he can just hope that 24 year old Taehyun will feel the same.
-
Beomgyu does truly love his job but the day has never dragged on more than it does on Monday. He has lunch with Jeongin as he always does and he’s thankful to talk about things besides Taehyun. But that’s the only real distraction he has all day. As the clock ticks closer and closer to 6pm, he gets more and more anxious. At 5:53pm he gets a text from Yeonjun.
You can do this Gyu.
He locks up his studio and heads to the bathroom to make sure he looks okay. He realizes then, as he stares at himself in the mirror, that he had been wearing makeup when Taehyun saw him on Saturday. Taehyun hadn’t seemed weirded out so hopefully that’s a good sign. It feels unlikely that Taehyun would be homophobic but he still can’t help but worry about how he’ll react. Whatever, it’s not like he’s going to come out to him over dinner or anything. He spritzes on a little more of his favorite perfume and runs his fingers through his hair. It’s just meeting up with a friend, it doesn’t matter how you look. He tells himself. He checks the time, takes a breath and leaves the building to head to the restaurant.
-
He arrives at the restaurant at 6:55. Taehyun is standing outside with his phone in his hand. He looks up as Beomgyu approaches and his face breaks into that big beautiful grin he’s always worn around Beomgyu. Beomgyu feels his stomach explode with butterflies and accepts his fate. Those feelings aren’t so dormant after all.
“Hi hyung.” Taehyun greets him cheerfully.
“Hi Taehyun-ah. How was your day?” He’s just being a dutiful hyung checking in on his dongsaeng.
“Longest Monday of my life I think.” Beomgyu laughs because it feels unreal that Taehyun felt that way too. Then again, maybe it had nothing to do with him waiting for tonight to come. Being an engineer is probably very stressful or maybe Taehyun was just making small talk or being funny or… Beomgyu’s train of thought is running away with him. He shakes it off.
“Well, I hope tonight will turn your day around.”
“Just seeing you has already helped my mood, hyung. Anyway, should we head inside? I’m starving.” Beomgyu is convinced he misunderstood what Taehyun just said. Why did that feel so flirty? Nonetheless, he nods and follows the younger man into the restaurant.
-
Beomgyu is pleasantly surprised at how easily he and Taehyun fall into easy conversation. He asks Taehyun about his work and finds out that Taehyun’s engineering firm is only a few blocks from Beomgyu’s company. Taehyun asks Beomgyu how he ended up being a producer.
“I always said you should have been an idol, hyung. Look how close I was.” Taehyun is laughing and Beomgyu remembers when he would learn Shinee dances so that he could perform for Taehyun. He would spend countless afternoons learning the routines so he could show the younger. Maybe he should have realized his feelings much sooner, all things considered.
“Being a producer is much different than being an idol, Taehyun-ah. No diets or dancing for me.” Beomgyu punctuates the statement with a sip of his beer although he nearly spits it out at Taehyun’s next comment.
“Ah, but you still have the body for it, hyung.”
“What?” Beomgyu can’t tell if he’s imagining it but Taehyun seems a bit flushed.
“Sorry, I just meant you’ve really grown up so well, hyung.” Of course, that’s all Taehyun meant. Beomgyu is letting his own feelings cloud his perspective. He’s projecting.
“Oh, thank you Taehyun-ah. You have too.” He’s being so normal and sane. This is awesome.
-
The rest of their dinner carries on without a hiccup. Beomgyu is surprised at how easily they fall into conversation. Taehyun tells him about his work and Beomgyu learns that the engineering firm is only a few blocks away from the company where Beomgyu works. It’s so close that there’s a chance they’ve walked right past each other before and had no idea.
He learns that Taehyun loves working out and boxing. This doesn’t completely surprise him. Even when they were younger, Taehyun had been naturally athletic in a way that Beomgyu envied. He remembers watching him shoot hoops at the park and in hindsight, maybe his teenage self had been a little more focused on the arms making the shots than the ball going in the hoop.
Taehyun lives with Huening Kai and they have been friends since college. Taehyun tells him about his nightmare first year roommate who would sexile him constantly and leave the room a mess after. He went into the second year with low expectations for a new random roommate but he and Kai became close quickly.
Beomgyu reminds himself that his jealousy is unjustified. He had been out of Taehyun’s life for years at that point and even if he had still been there, the younger is allowed to have other friends.
“Do you have roommates, hyung?” Beomgyu snaps out of thoughts when Taehyun asks.
“Oh yeah. I live with my friend, Yeonjun. He’s a choreographer at the company I work for. He actually helped me get hired there.” He can see the intrigue enter Taehyun’s eyes. He has carefully avoided going into detail about how own career but he supposes it would come up eventually.
“Really? How did you two meet? Is he also from Daegu?”
“No, he’s from Seoul. I met him through Soobin hyung actually. I had to move out of the dorms when I dropped out but I really needed to stay here. Yeonjun had been living at home but was planning to move out. Soobin put us together and it all just happened to work out.”
“Wow hyung, that’s great that it worked out.” Beomgyu waits for Taehyun to ask the typical questions. Why did you drop out? Why couldn’t you go home to Daegu?
Surprisingly, Taehyun doesn’t ask any of those questions. He just looks at Beomgyu, letting him lead wherever the conversation will go next.
“Yeah, I’m really grateful I met him. He’s been a really good friend to me through the years. I don’t know where I would be without him.” Beomgyu thinks that he should tell Yeonjun that more often.
“I’m glad you have such a good friend, hyung. You were always so good to me back then. You deserve someone like that for yourself.” Taehyun has always been quick to speak his mind but it still catches Beomgyu off guard.
“Thank you, Taehyun-ah. Maybe I can introduce the two of you sometime. If you would be comfortable with that?” Beomgyu can’t explain the urge he feels to meld these two parts of his life together but the need is pulsing through him desperately.
“I would really like that, hyung.” He pauses. “So, how did you end up being a music producer? I remember you always loved playing your guitar but I don’t remember you talking about it as a career.”
Of course, Beomgyu had imagined being a professional musician back then. It was the kind of thought he would never voice because it was so foolish. He had never really believed he could have been in the position he’s in now. Sometimes, he’s still shocked at the way everything worked out.
“Back then, it didn’t really seem possible that it would be an option.” He sighs. “Before I dropped out, I became friends with a music major at my university. He wanted someone to help him produce his music and post it on Soundcloud. I had played around a bit with some very basic music programs in the past so we worked together. It really wasn’t great, honestly but it was decent considering the limited resources. At one point, I showed it to Yeonjun hyung and he really liked it. He was friends with another producer at the company and showed it to him. The company thought I showed enough potential so they contracted me for a couple of songs. When they liked those enough, they offered me the full job.”
Taehyun’s eyes are wide as he looks at him.
“Hyung, that's so cool. You must be so talented.” Beomgyu is a bit caught off guard by Taehyun’s admiration. He can feel his cheeks turning pink as he nods.
“Ah, thank you Taehyun-ah.”
-
The night wraps up when Taehyun starts yawning. When Beomgyu checks the time, he feels guilty keeping Taehyun out so late when he knows they both have work the next day. He calls for the check and refuses to let Taehyun split the bill with him.
They realize they’re both taking the same train so they walk together. Beomgyu can tell Taehyun is tired but trying his best to keep the energy up. He’s telling Beomgyu a story about something he and Huening Kai did last weekend but all Beomgyu can focus on is the way Taehyun’s eyes scrunch when he yawns. Ten years have passed but Beomgyu is certain the younger man is as cute as ever.
-
Taehyun’s stop is first. Before he stands to go, he looks at Beomgyu apprehensively and then tentatively wraps his arms around his hyung. Beomgyu holds him close and rubs his back a bit, just as he had back then.
“I’m really glad I found you again, hyung.” Taehyun says when they pull away. Beomgyu is glad they’re almost at the stop, otherwise he might not be able to stop himself from confessing to the younger right there on the train.
“Me too, Taehyun. Get home safe.” Taehyun gets off the train and gives Beomgyu a final wave as the doors are closing. Beomgyu’s throat is so tight he thinks he might choke.
-
Unsurprisingly, Yeonjun is awake and waiting for Beomgyu when he gets home.
“How did it go?” The elder asks as soon as Beomgyu walks in, not giving him the slightest chance to slip away.
“I think it actually went really well.” Beomgyu can feel the grin overtaking his face as he speaks. “In fact, I even told him I would introduce the two of you.”
“That’s awesome, Gyu. Maybe you could invite him over this weekend? I can order food and get beer for us.” Beomgyu can feel his heart lighting up.
“I like that idea, hyung. You should invite Soobin too and I’ll tell Taehyunie that he can invite his roommate too. It sounds like they’re really close.” Yeonjun gives him a look.
“Oh, so it’s Taehyunie now? Sounds like dinner went even better than you were telling me, Beomgyu.” Beomgyu grabs the pillow off the couch and whacks Yeonjun in the face with it. He knows that’s more confirmation than he really wants to give but the yelp Yeonjun lets out is still pretty satisfying.
-
After doing his skincare and putting his pajamas on, Beomgyu is surprised that Taehyun has already texted him.
Thanks again for dinner, hyung! Hope we can do it again soon.
Beomgyu takes a deep breath. It’s just a friendly invitation, he reminds himself.
Of course!!
If you’re free on Friday night, would you like to come have dinner at my apartment so you can meet Yeonjun? You can invite Huening Kai too if you would like!
Taehyun’s response arrives quickly.
That sounds fun hyung! We can pick up beer on our way over.
Beomgyu is trying really hard not to squeal like a teenage girl. He sends Taehyun his address and then promptly shoves his face into his pillow to try and sleep.
-
The week drags on slowly. Beomgyu feels a bit guilty for being so distracted at work. He’s usually very invested in his work but he can’t help but keep checking his phone every time he’s waiting for Taehyun’s texts.
He and the younger have been texting almost constantly since Monday and every small update makes Beomgyu fall a little deeper.
It’s early Friday morning and Beomgyu’s phone lights up in his hand as he sits on the subway. When he checks it, he can feel his heart race. Taehyun has sent him a picture of an iced coffee.
Maybe this will fuel me to get through the day quicker. So excited for tonight!
It feels a bit unreal that Taehyun will actually be in his apartment in less than 12 hours. He spent years occasionally imagining what would happen if he and Taehyun reunited and now it's actually happening.
Although, if he’s honest those fantasies usually leaned much more romantic than the reality. He can’t help his hopeless romantic nature and he’s a sucker for a good childhood friends to lovers trope. He’s forcing himself to keep those thoughts away now that Taehyun is actually back in his life. He can’t ruin this, not when he already lost him once. At least then, neither of them were to blame really.
-
Yeonjun and Soobin are such good sports. They’ve been watching Beomgyu pace in front of them for at least ten minutes before Soobin finally grabs him and forces him to sit down.
“Beomgyu, you’re going to dig a hole in the floor if you don’t stop.” Soobin pats his shoulder to soften the burn of the tease. Beomgyu frankly wants Soobin to fall in the hole but okay whatever.
His phone buzzes from where it sits on the table.
We’re outside!
He is absolutely not going to throw up. He can do this.
-
He cannot do this.
Yeonjun buzzed the two of them into the building but that feels like it was years ago. Maybe Taehyun changed his mind. Maybe he realized that all he needs is Huening Kai and not his stupid hyung from a decade ago that has gotten so anxious and weird. Maybe…
Knock, knock
Beomgyu jumps off the couch when he hears the knock on the door. He’s sure Soobin and Yeonjun are laughing at the way he runs to the front door. He pauses just as he gets to the door and steadies his breathing. When he opens the door, the first thing he notices is Taehyun’s blinding smile. The second is that he’s wearing a fucking tank top. Apparently, Taehyun was being honest about his love of the gym because his biceps are the only thing Beomgyu can see now. In fact, his entire world might now revolve around Kang Taehyun’s arms. Oh he is so screwed.
“Hi hyung!” Taehyun greets and then suddenly those very arms are around him loosely. Beomgyu briefly thinks that he would let the younger man strangle him and that he would probably really enjoy those last moments. He’s a pervert. Soobin must be rubbing off on him.
Luckily, the hug is quick before Taehyun steps back and gestures to the man standing next to him.
“I know you already met but it was so brief. This is Kai.” Kai bows.
“It’s nice to meet you again, Beomgyu-ssi.”
“Ah, just Hyung is fine. No need to be so formal.” Beomgyu smiles at Kai. The younger man has such a sweet face that Beomgyu understands why Taehyun grew to like him so quickly.
Beomgyu brings both of them into the living room where Yeonjun and Soobin are. He sees both of them eyeing Soobin and he isn’t sure why. He realizes then that he never told Taehyun that Soobin would be joining them but he didn’t think it was that big of a deal. He sees the two of them exchange a look. Yeonjun seems to have noticed it too because he jumps up to intercept them before the situation can grow too awkward. Yeonjun is good at that kind of thing.
“Hi, welcome. I’m Yeonjun but you both can call me hyung. Taehyun, I’ve heard so much about you from Beomgyu. I’m so glad we can finally meet.” Yeonjun clasps Taehyun’s hands in his. Beomgyu hopes that isn’t too forward for Taehyun.
Thankfully, Beomgyu watches whatever tension had found its way to Taehyun’s shoulders melt away at Yeonjun’s warm welcome.
“Thank you for having us, hyung. This is my friend, Huening Kai.” Yeonjun smiles at Kai as well before turning towards Soobin.
“Of course, I think you both already met Soobin-ah.” He rests his hand on the taller man’s shoulder. Beomgyu watches the way both of their eyes dart to the place where they’re making contact. Beomgyu is so confused. Do they not like Soobin? But he barely spoke to them last week in the club so how could that be? Maybe he’s imagining it.
-
With the introductions finished, they crack open the beers Taehyun and Kai had brought as they wait for the chicken to come. Beomgyu finds himself next to Taehyun on the couch. Taehyun had almost seemed surprised when Beomgyu took the seat next to him although he’s not sure why. Kai sits in the chair next to the couch and Yeonjun and Soobin brought chairs in from the dining room so that they also had a place to sit. Realistically, they could have fit another person on the couch but it’s very in character for Yeonjun and Soobin to be giving him his space with Taehyun. He can’t think about it too much though or he will blush so he just grabs a controller so they can start Mario Kart.
By the time the food arrives, any lingering awkwardness has dissipated. Taehyun is telling Yeonjun and Soobin about his nightmare freshman year roommate and the hyungs are laughing and grimacing in sympathy at every detail.
“Ah, Taehyun, I can really relate to that. My freshman year roommate was also a nightmare.” Soobin sends Beomgyu a knowing look.
“Hey! I was nowhere near as bad as Taehyun’s roommate. I was perfectly normal.” Beomgyu whines and reaches across Yeonjun to smack Soobin on the shoulder.
“Oh, I didn’t realize that was how you two met.” Taehyun’s comment makes Beomgyu remember the audience that is watching this exchange unfold.
“Yep. Beomgyu and I were roommates until he left me for Yeonjun hyung. It's a heartbreak I’ve never really gotten over honestly. Beomgyu was the best roommate I’ve ever had.” Soobin has the audacity to fake sniffle to punctuate his dramatics.
“I’m telling Hao you said that.” Yeonjun smirks at Soobin. “You’re just jealous because I will always be the best roommate Beomgyu has ever had. Isn’t that right, Beommie?” When Yeonjun pulls out the cutesy nickname, Beomgyu knows he has to end this.
“I would sell both of you for a PS5 with zero hesitation.” He looks his hyungs in the eyes as he says it and their matching frowns makes him laugh so hard that he leans into Taehyun. His laughter must be contagious because Kai starts laughing too, a loud, dolphin-like sound that makes Taehyun lose the stiffness that had settled over him. Beomgyu feels Taehyun’s body relax and they sink into each other a bit. The familiarity is almost overwhelming. When he sits back up, their thighs are touching but neither of them makes an effort to move. The place where they are connected burns hotter than the sun but it's worth it to Beomgyu.
-
A while later, Yeonjun stands up.
“I’m getting another beer. Does anyone want one?” Soobin starts to speak but Yeonjun stops him.
“You’re cut off, lightweight.” Soobin whines at him and Beomgyu winces at the sound.
“Can the two of you get a room already?” He doesn’t really mean to let the comment slip. Usually he’s better at keeping his opinions on their tension to himself but he must be drunker than he realized.
He can feel Taehyun’s eyes on him after he speaks but he’s unsure what the emotion that lingers is.
“Shut up, Gyu.” Soobin mumbles and Yeonjun slaps him on the back of the head. Kai stands up too.
“I’ll join you, hyung.” Kai says to Yeonjun with a smile. Beomgyu is watching his place as Yeonjun’s favorite dongsaeng slip away from him in front of his very eyes. He really shouldn’t be surprised. Kai is practically an overgrown puppy and Yeonjun has a penchant for cute things.
The conversation dies now that it's just him, Taehyun and Soobin left in the room.
“What do you like to do for fun, Taehyun?” Soobin asks and the question feels a bit unnatural. Neither Beomgyu or Soobin are really great at small talk.
“I like to workout. I box too.” And then he kills Beomgyu. Genuinely, hitting with a hammer would have been less painful than what he does next. Taehyun flexes his arms. Beomgyu is entranced. He wants to rub his hands up and down them. He wants to kiss the inventor of the tank top right on the mouth. Thank god.
“Wow Taehyun-ah. I would ask if you need a gym buddy but I think your routine would probably kill me.” Soobin and Taehyun both laugh. Beomgyu is still mesmerized by Taehyun’s biceps. He’s pretty sure both Soobin and Taehyun have both caught on.
“Beomgyu-ah, you should show Taehyun the balcony. I’m sure you would both enjoy the view together.” Soobin’s tone is anything but subtle. Beomgyu wants to bury him alive.
“Wow, hyung, will you? That sounds so nice.” Taehyun’s eyes are so full of hope although Beomgyu isn’t sure why. How could Beomgyu ever deny that boy anything?
So he leads Taehyun through the apartment to the door to their balcony. It really isn’t much but he and Yeonjun love sitting out here on warm nights. The lights of the city never fail to amaze him. He and Taehyun step outside and stand in silence for a moment, just taking in the lights of the city. Taehyun is the first to break the silence.
“Hyung, I have a question. If it's too personal, you don’t have to answer.” Beomgyu is beginning to think that there is absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do for Taehyun, especially when the younger is wearing that tank top.
“Go ahead, Taehyun-ah.” He says the younger’s name so quietly, it feels like a prayer.
“Are you dating Soobin hyung?” Beomgyu coughs on nothing.
“What?”
“Sorry, I know that might be a little intrusive I just.” Beomgyu can’t help but cut Taehyun off.
“Why would you think I’m dating Soobin?”
“Honestly, now that you say it, it feels dumb but you were so close together in the club and I just thought oh of course like there’s no way you would still be single after all these years and like yeah I don’t know.” In all the time that Beomgyu knew Taehyun, he never knew him to be one to ramble. It amazes him to watch the younger cut himself off, this boy that was so well-spoken even at the age of fourteen. It takes Beomgyu a second to process what Taehyun actually had said.
“Wait, why do you care if I’m single?” Beomgyu looks at Taehyun and the younger sighs.
“Are you really going to make me say it, hyung? If you’re not interested, you can just tell me.”
Beomgyu is sure he is misunderstanding the situation.
“Taehyun, are you saying you’re interested in me like romantically?” Beomgyu is really hoping he’s not wrong or the situation is about to get ten times more awkward. And it's already awkward.
“Yes, hyung, I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I guess those feelings from way back when still lingered a bit and when I saw you, older you, in the club they came rushing back all at once. But then I saw Soobin-hyung and just assumed that you were together and yeah. You don’t even have to respond really, I know I just dumped a lot on you, I’m sorry.” Taehyun turns to leave but Beomgyu grabs his arm to stop him. He can feel his skin prickle as he realizes he’s touching the exact arm that he had been looking at all night. Focus, Beomgyu. Be a pervert later.
“Taehyun-ah, what makes you think I’m not interested in you?” They’re looking each other in the eyes now and Beomgyu thinks he might get lost in the brown of Taehyun’s.
“Are you, hyung?” Beomgyu nods and before he can even process it, Taehyun is leaning forward. Their lips meet and Beomgyu realizes that no drama will ever compare to this. His hands land on Taehyun’s waist while Taehyun’s fingers are playing with his hair. He wishes he could live in this moment forever.
When they part, they have matching shy smiles.
“Taehyun-ah, can hyung take you on a date?” Beomgyu feels like he’s jumping into a pool on the first hot day of summer. The rush is scary but the cool waves will be worth it.
“I would love that, hyung.” And then they’re leaning in again.