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She was four when she brought it up.
Rory was prepared for the topic. She expected the topic. She had even developed a flow chart of the conversation and the many ways it could be brought up and how it would be resolved. She had honestly expected the topic to come at three where it had been briefly touched on but got derailed by Lorelai's sudden entrance and kidnapping of her granddaughter to watch a Grease marathon. This consisted of Grease the Movie, Grease the Musical, Grease 2 and Fox's version of Grease. This of course led to the great Stockard Channing/Vanessa Hudgens debate at the town hall meeting and a live reading of Kirk's fanfic which revealed that Abigail Bartlett had secretly been Rizzo in high school. It was quite the revelation.
The actual moment happened after dinner, which had consisted of tacos, Chinese food, spaghetti and tater tots. During the meal Lorelai IV, aka Trix, had started laughing at Grandpa Luke's argument with Grandma Lorelai over the need to order pizza and spilled mu shu pork and plum sauce all over her face, hair and nifty designer jumper.
"Bath time!" Rory declared and scooped up the laughing girl into her arms. She carried Trix to the upstairs bathroom where she and clothes were hosed off with the shower attachment before the actual disrobing and a full bath was drawn. It was during the hair washing and removal of fried pork from Trix's hair that the question was poised.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, Mu Shu?"
"Is my daddy really a wookie?"
Rory froze. This was not at all in the conversational flowchart.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Is my daddy a wookie or not?" Trix asked in all seriousness.
"MOM!"
"Wasn't me!" Lorelai shouted back from downstairs.
"You don't know why I'm yelling at you!"
"Still wasn't me!"
"Mommy?"
Rory sighed and slumped down against the tub and picked another piece of pork from Trix's hair. "No, sweetie. Daddy is not a wookie."
"Oh." The look of disappointment was huge. And then the tears started.
"Oh, geez," Rory sighed and hauled the wet mess of four year old out who was now sobbing out loud. "Shhh. Sweetie. It's okay."
Suddenly Luke was bounding into the room in a blind panic. "What's wrong?!"
"Nothing," Rory said trying to wrap Trix in a towel.
"Was the water too hot? I told Lorelai the water heater needed to be set at a non-scalding temperature but-"
"It's not the water!" Rory shouted in exasperation.
"Then what is it?!" Luke shouted back.
"I want to be a wookie!" Trix shouted.
"What?!" Luke should really be less startled at weird conversational tangents with Gilmores at this point in his life.
"It's okay. I got this," Rory assured him.
"Well. Okay," Luke said doubtfully. "Did she say-"
"Go!" Rory ordered.
"I'm gone!" Luke said holding up his hands in defeat and walking out of the bathroom.
Rory sighed and held her dripping and sobbing child close to her chest and said silly things until Trix finally calmed down. And yet when it was all over...
"Why can't I be a wookie?"
Rory sighed. She was going to have to do away with the whole conversational flowchart.
*****
Two hours later Trix was put to bed and Rory was flopping onto the couch.
"Wine?" Lorelai offered.
"Ice cream," Rory responded.
"Just ice cream?"
Rory gave Lorelai a look of death.
"Ooo. What happened?"
"You told her that her dad was a wookie?"
Lorelai winced. "I had hoped that would slip her mind somehow."
"Really? You'd think that would slip her mind?" Rory asked with a scolding tone.
"Well there was bribery involved," Lorelai admitted. "Sorry kid. So you had the talk?"
"We did," Rory confirmed.
"What did you tell her?" Lorelai said pulling Rory into a hug.
"The truth," Rory said, snuggling in. "That her dad is Chewbacca and that she has my hair because human DNA trumps wookie DNA."
"Nicely done," Lorelai said approvingly.
"There is one problem."
"What's that?"
"You're going to have to figure out how to get Harrison Ford to show up at her next birthday party with the Millenium Falcon and show her how to do the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs," Rory explained.
"She does know that parsec is a unit of measurement, right?" Lorelai asked unfazed.
"Yes, but she just assumes that the Kessel Run is a navigational thing," Rory replied.
"That's my girl!"
Rory sighed. "Is there pizza left over?"
"What kind of mom would I be not to save you a slice of pizza?"
"The hungry kind."
The conversation turned once again. And then again. And then turned to mocking when Luke walked in on them ordering another pizza.
Seriously. How long had Luke been with these girls?
