Chapter Text
"Why not?! Please?!"
"Because I don't want to, Atsumu! Why can't you take no for an answer?"
"Shoyo! Come on, why not? Please? We were so good together!"
"…because I'm dating Kageyama!!!"
Those four words.
Those cursed four words are why he's in this mess right now.
Sigh.
How did it start, one might wonder.
Well, actually Hinata's not sure. Not really. It was all sort of in the heat of the moment after enduring an entire weekend full of Atsumu's relentless texts and hounding until Hinata couldn’t take it anymore.
Though technically, it started right after morning practice when Hinata headed over to his first class of the day, his weakest class by far — literature. His nemesis. Major yuck. It's also the class he happens to share with his ex, Atsumu.
Ever since their dramatic breakup two months ago, this class had become his least favorite. Nearly every time, Atsumu would give him these pitiful eyes, even though he was the one breaking up with Hinata every chance that he got when they’d been in a relationship!!!
Something about never putting him first, always choosing Kageyama…
Honestly, all of their arguments had started to look the same, so Hinata learned to tune them out. Somehow, it always circled to Kageyama.
Not that Hinata was completely oblivious as to why and maybe Atsumu had picked up on it through subtle cues that Hinata gave off without realizing, but Atsumu was constantly accusing Hinata of wanting Kageyama or preferring him or…
Stuff like that.
Which…
Maybe.
Yeah.
Would he rather be with his best friend? The boy who changed the trajectory of his life from the moment he threw a volleyball at his face on accident? Yeah. Definitely. But Atsumu didn't need to know that and yet he somehow did, probably from watching him and Kageyama interact on the court during games or practice.
Who knows. Hinata got tired of the arguments. The relationship was stagnant anyway, so Hinata waited and… like clockwork, when another argument started, Hinata ripped off the bandaid and declared they should just end it there. The relationship wasn’t going anywhere anyway, mostly filled with fights and butting heads.
Except, he can tell that today was different, because Atsumu seriously wouldn’t stop looking at him. Damn. He definitely wanted to say something and Hinata was a little afraid of what that could mean…
Was there a chance he could escape right as class ended and avoid whatever confrontation?
No.
Maybe he should have texted Kageyama to pull the fire alarm in the building to get them to evacuate. Perfect distraction… illegal, though.
Sigh.
To his horror, Atsumu did stop him before he could sneak away to his next class and went on and on about how they made a mistake and acted too irrationally, that they could still be good together. Hinata was very adamant with his refusal.
Time apart has shown him that trying to date someone was utterly foolish. It'll be Kageyama or no one. Hinata will probably end up a monk who takes a vow of celibacy and lives in the mountains.
Except, Atsumu really wouldn’t drop it and…
Well, Hinata blurted out that he’s dating Kageyama.
Even if he isn’t.
Shit, Kageyama is going to be so mad. Definitely. For sure. Why wouldn't he be?
As Hinata finally runs away from Atsumu who's shouting "I knew it!", he rushes to his next class.
Before practice, he's going to have to fill Kageyama in on this in case Atsumu decides to confront them…
This is going to be just awful. Ugh. The last thing he wants is to make his best friend uncomfortable or get too close to home…
Hinata's fine living with his unrequited, depressing feelings for the rest of his life while it kills him slowly, but the last thing he wants is to make Kageyama feel like he crossed some sort of boundary.
Hinata can barely focus on any of his classes or answer the texts that are steadily pouring in through the shared group chat with the team. He even notes Atsumu has dramatically put in his discord status:
DNI - people will walk over you if you let them
Good lord.
Hinata sighs and sets aside his phone, not even able to bring himself to reply to Kageyama. The guilt is going to eat him alive.
Usually, Kageyama meets him at the front of his last class and they walk to practice together. Today, he's… very nervous about that. He manages to convince himself it'll be okay, up until he actually sees Kageyama waiting for him outside the class, casually scrolling on his phone and immediately gets hit with more uncertainty.
It's fine, it's fine. Kageyama loathed Atsumu. Surely if Hinata explains the situation, Kageyama will understand. At every chance Kageyama got, he told Hinata that he hated Atsumu so… surely…
When Kageyama greets him, Hinata squeaks and gets a weird look for it. He has to say something. He's being awful and silent and Kageyama's noticing and—
"I told Atsumu that we're dating," he blurts out in one big breath, "I'm sorry, please don't be mad! He kept trying to get me to say yes to going out again so I kinda said we're together and in case he tries to confront you please… play along?"
"Okay," Kageyama replies, just like that. Like he's talking about the weather and it doesn't bother him in the slightest.
Oh.
Hinata deflates ever so slightly.
Well now he feels stupid for stressing out. He nudges Kageyama, peaking closer to look at his face.
"You really don't mind? We'll probably have to hold hands and stuff so we don't look like weirdos who never touch."
"That's fine. I don't care."
I don't care? That's a little harsh. Won't this affect him at all?!
Hinata winces. Good to know. Good to know that only one of them will be suffering through this and pine like an idiot.
"Oh… uh, that's good then," he plasters on a massive smile and just to show himself that he can do this, he holds his hand out and wiggles his fingers, "wanna do a test run?"
"Okay. Sure," Kageyama replies, taking his hand like he's done this a million times before.
Well.
Technically, they have. When they were younger, that is. Hinata stopped in his teenage years when he realized his heart was beating way too fast holding Kageyama's hand and he would become so red Kageyama would think he had a fever and then he'd put his hand on Hinata's forehead and then Hinata's heart would beat even faster and then—
Anyway.
It’s fine.
This is fine.
He can survive this.
Deep breaths… Deep breaths…
"Thank you for doing this." Hinata squeezes Kageyama's hand as they reach the gym. "Should we maybe… talk about this after practice? Get our stories straight?"
And also talk about what they should and shouldn't do. Hand holding is one thing, but kissing?
No no no.
Hinata will die. He will evaporate into nothing. But…
If they don't, won't it be obvious they're not a couple?
Hmm. Well, a lot of couples don't show a lot of physical affection in public. Atsumu can't make them kiss just to prove it. But it's still a good idea to talk about what Kageyama would be comfortable doing, even though he doesn't seem the least affected by any of this.
Hinata wishes that he was. Just a little bit.
"Why do we need a story?" Kageyama asks. "We can just say we started dating. Tell Atsumu I asked you out. And that he sucks, and I'm better."
Hinata bites back a laugh, though he's unable to stop the grin from splitting his face. "In those exact words? I'm sure he'll start crying. He's already convinced we were dating behind his back…"
Which had just been insulting to his honor because no matter how annoying he got, Hinata wouldn't have just done that.
Though… he did fantasize plenty about Kageyama.
But that's between him and God.
"I'll tell him that. You left him for me."
Hinata blushes. Not real not real not real. He needs to remember that. No matter how much he may want this, it's not real.
"Clearly you were the better choice," Hinata tries to joke, "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to go out with him."
Mostly that he hoped to prove to himself he could date someone else, but it backfired so badly.
"I know," Kageyama says. "The whole time I thought you must have hit your head really hard."
"Hey!" Hinata blushes, stumbling and nearly falling face flat. "I wasn't… that delusional. I was trying something new and… it kinda didn't work. I didn't hit my head." Though he may as well have for thinking it could work out. "I still don't get why you hated him so much…"
There was a weird setter rivalry thing going on between the two, so maybe… but Kageyama didn't seem all that bothered by the other setters on their team.
"He's looking at us," Kageyama suddenly says, squeezing Hinata's hand. "Quick, kiss me."
"Huh?! What—"
Hinata's entire body flushes and he panics. Oh my god, he's going to kiss his best friend. The very same boy he hasn't been able to shake out of his heart since they met when they were only 5.
A part of him is a little sad that they're not kissing under better circumstances, like after a date or a dramatic confession in the rain.
It can't just be a peck either, because if Atsumu is watching, he'll be able to tell a lack of passion surely. So… Hinata has to really go in.
So he does.
Despite the nervous flutters and how feverish he feels, he still leans close and in one swift move, smashes their lips into a kiss. His entire body feels like it's on fire and there's a very persistent sharp ringing in his ears that may or may not be a side effect of his actual heart giving out, but…
It doesn't matter.
He's kissing Kageyama and it's everything.
For a moment, he allows himself to slip into it, this little magical world where this is real and they're not standing outside the gym kissing each other in pretense for Atsumu's sake.
Because god, it really is magical. Kageyama has let go of his hand in favor of cupping his face with both hands, and he's kissing him like…
…like he's in love with him, or something.
Which is crazy, of course.
…right?
Hinata doesn't want to hope. This'll only hurt all the more if he does, but he can't help it. The tiny delusional part of him is loving this, loving the feel of Kageyama's lips and hands on his face.
A tiny moan escapes him and he flushes from the mortification, hoping Kageyama didn't hear. But he probably did. It's fine. Hinata will own up to it, lie and say it's for show… even though Atsumu isn't anywhere close by.
His fingers gently dig into the front of Kageyama's shirt and he pulls him closer.
"Do you think this is enough?" he whispers.
"Mmm, maybe," Kageyama responds, though he makes no attempts to pull away.
Is he just being extra sure?
Yeah… that's it. Kageyama is such a perfectionist, and in this moment, Hinata’s really enjoying it.
So Hinata wraps his arms around Kageyama's waist and holds him close. This is their first kiss and even though technically it's not Hinata's first kiss, he's willing to pretend none of the ones with Atsumu counted.
Kageyama's lips are the only ones he's been fantasizing about.
"We'll be late to practice," he points out halfheartedly.
"Right." Kageyama slowly pulls away, the tips of his ears red. He clears his throat and looks away, letting go of Hinata's face. Then he lets out a satisfied snort. "Atsumu's pissed."
"Huh?" Hinata whips his head around to find Atsumu glaring at them. He bites back a snort and shifts his attention to Kageyama. "It was a success!" He whisper-yells, starting to drag Kageyama toward the locker rooms before Atsumu decides to confront them. "We're believable!"
That means, Atsumu saw the chemistry they have. He's not sure if that makes him really happy or really sad.
"Of course we are," Kageyama replies, almost sounding offended Hinata might've doubted them.
Hinata smiles, taking Kageyama's hand again, even though they'll need to get changed soon. And maybe he's cheating a bit, using this small excuse to touch Kageyama. "Wanna get takeout with me after practice and post gross lovey-dovey pictures online to make him go crazy?"
"Yes. That's a genius idea."
Hinata smiles proudly, reluctantly letting go of Kageyama's hand. A few people from their team notice and give him quirked eyebrows.
Most of the people on their team already assumed they were dating and told Hinata just as much during the first week they joined the team. People probably aren't going to be that surprised considering they've definitely noticed the heart eyes he shoots Kageyama's way, but…
How awkward will it be when they have to end the charade… because it’ll definitely have to end at some point, won’t it?
Shit.
He definitely hadn't considered when they'd bring this to an end.
Obviously they can't keep up pretenses forever just because of Atsumu, but… would that mean they'd have to have a fake breakup?
Hinata's not sure he'd survive that.
These thoughts stay with him through practice and he even makes a few silly mistakes, getting strange looks from Kageyama because of it.
He shouldn't be worrying himself over this right now, anyway. It's just the first day.
Who's to say they'll ever have to have a "breakup"? This would only be relevant if Kageyama wanted to date someone, but he hasn't shown the slightest interest in anyone. Like ever. His one true love has been volleyball, same as Hinata!
Except for Hinata, of course he had to go and complicate things by falling for his best friend. He’s not sure how he’d handle Kageyama falling in love or telling him about crushes.
That’s a terrifying thought that leaves his skin dreadfully prickling with anxiety.
When practice comes to an end, he's relieved. He's sure Atsumu was watching them the whole time, which doesn't help his jittery state at all.
It's only when they have their bag of food and are in the safety of their shared campus apartment that he decides to ask the question that's been haunting him since practice.
"How long do you see us doing this?" He asks uncertainly, kicking off his shoes. "I mean… Atsumu will probably be annoying for a while, but not forever," he adds with a small laugh.
"Right," Kageyama sits on their couch, opening the bag and taking out his tray. "I don't care how long. We can decide when Atsumu stops being annoying. Which might be never."
Oh.
Never.
"That means forever," Hinata points out with a small smile, walking over to plop down beside Kageyama, nervously sneaking over glances. "What if… you meet someone and want to go on a date?"
He hates himself for asking, he shouldn't put this bad juju out in the air…
Kageyama shrugs, taking the lid off his tray and digging in. "I don't see that happening anytime soon. People suck. I only need you, anyway."
Oh.
Hinata feels whatever's left of his brain fizzle out into absolutely nothing. Warm flutters turn his entire chest into a beehive as he tries to take steady breaths that won’t give him away.
Does Kageyama mean that?
It has only been them since that faithful day they met when neither of them had enough coordination for volleyball. They'd been inseparable since, the love of volleyball bringing them into each others lives but they'd been held together by much more.
And he's sure it'll be like that forever.
But to hear Kageyama voice that, it takes everything in Hinata not to make a sound or show a reaction. He might actually cry.
"Me too…" he offers, his cheeks burning, "probably why Atsumu was always so jealous." And probably why he never believed Hinata when he insisted nothing was going on. Which… nothing was going on, but Kageyama never strayed far from Hinata’s thoughts. Atsumu must’ve sensed that.
Kageyama hums. "Yeah. Maybe."
Hinata slumps back, grabbing his own tray from the paper bag. "We could do hand holding pictures," he remarks absently, "do a little date night photo?"
"Yeah. You could sit on my lap."
…huh?
Hinata blinks, looking over to Kageyama. Did he hear that right? That’s definitely not as PG as hand holding.
And here he'd been thinking of cute poses. Will he even survive sitting in Kageyama's lap?!
"Do you… want to do that now?" He asks hesitantly.
"Won't it be hard to eat?" Kageyama says, taking a bite.
Hinata laughs. "I have a better idea," he moves closer, "how about I feed you. We could be one of those cringey couples."
Even though unironically they've fed each other many times…
"Sure," Kageyama replies, offering him his tray. "Where do we put the camera?"
"Uh…"
Hinata looks to their messy coffee table and reaches over, quickly stacking on the heavy forgotten textbooks before setting his phone against it.
"Perfect," he grins, flicking on the camera app and setting a timer before he takes Kageyama's tray, "do me next," he adds, grinning and scooping up some noodles to bring to Kageyama's mouth. He can't help himself from teasingly saying, "open wide!"
He needs some ridiculousness to keep himself from losing his mind.
Kageyama deadpans. "That's not sexy. You have to make it sexy."
"How am I supposed to make it sexy?! It's not like I've ever done this…" Hinata blushes. Looks like he can't make it lighthearted. At all. Slipping closer, he presses to Kageyama's side. "Is this… better?"
Now they probably look less like two pals having a meal. Hopefully.
"Yes," Kageyama says. "Then look into my eyes. And lean closer, like you're thinking of kissing me. And bring the bite close to my lips, slowly. Never look away from my eyes when you do it."
"O-okay."
Hinata never thought he'd be getting talked through doing a fake couple's photoshoot and yet here is.
Through the entirety of that ordeal, Hinata is sure his heart will give out, but he does as Kageyama tells him and never breaks eye contact. He doesn't even have to put effort in trying to look like he wants to kiss Kageyama because he does.
So much.
That's all he thinks about as he slowly brings the fork to Kageyama's lips, his own eyes momentarily flicking down to stare. He swallows the dryness in his mouth, bringing his free hand to rest on the back of Kageyama's neck. The camera must've gotten a lot.
"What do you think?" he whispers breathlessly, his heart erratic.
"Good. Better," Kageyama replies, swallowing hard. His eyes are drifting down to Hinata's lips, too! Hinata saw it!
"Do you think we should do a kissing one?" Hinata suggests, quietly. He's a little ashamed to be asking, since it's not really for photos and it's more so… just to kiss.
This is wrong.
Kageyama's helping him out of kindness and here Hinata is, using that kindness for his own gain. He really should be ashamed of himself…
And yet, he can't stop looking at Kageyama's lips.
"Yeah," Kageyama nods. "Good idea. On my lap?"
Oh!
Yeah. Hinata's gonna die. That's for sure and certain.
Still, like a dumbass he nods and carefully slips into Kageyama's lap, setting aside the fork and forgetting all about the food. He loosely wraps his arms around Kageyama's neck, flustered to hell and back.
"Is this okay?" he asks, his voice strained from how hard he's trying not to break.
"Yeah," Kageyama replies, placing his hands on Hinata's waist, firm and warm. "Huh," he suddenly says, looking down. "You have a very small waist."
Hinata flushes. "Huh?" He looks down. "I… I guess?"
Is Kageyama telling him he needs to work out more? How is this relevant?! And also he's very much so dying.
"Easier to… grab?" Hinata adds with a small smile.
"Yeah," Kageyama says, squeezing him.
Hinata's breath catches in his throat and he laughs nervously. Don't get hard don't get hard don't get hard.
"Good… good grip," Hinata whispers, his hands slipping to Kageyama's shoulders, "you have… a nice lap."
Ugh he needs to shut up. Now. He leans forward and without thinking twice, smashes their lips together into a deep kiss. Kageyama moans in response, and god, Hinata really wishes he didn't know what Kageyama moaning against his mouth sounds like, because now he won't ever be able to forget it.
His hands slip up from Kageyama's shoulders and into his hair, threading through the silky smooth strands. This feels… different than the kiss they shared outside the gym. They'd clearly been watched, so there was an almost performative aspect to it, but this…
Hinata isn't even sure if the camera's still going and he doesn't care what excuse he'll give.
What's shocking above all though is how Kageyama is kissing him with so much passion. It's both impressive and a painful reminder that Kageyama is putting on a really good show and Hinata needs to remember that. Though he never expected someone as painfully blunt, sincere and honest as Kageyama to be good at such pretense.
"You kiss really good," he whispers breathlessly, his brain a little numb from the intensity.
"Thanks," Kageyama replies. "You too," he adds, and then kisses him again.
Hinata moans, mortified at the whine that escapes him from the force and intensity of Kageyama's kiss. He lightly tugs at the silky strands, inadvertently grinding down against Kageyama when he shifts to get into a better position.
Fuck.
His eyes shoot wide open, his entire body heating up.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't… I didn't mean to do that," he says quickly.
Kageyama's cheeks are red. "It's, um, it's fine." Kageyama clears his throat. "It's… bound to happen. It's fine."
Hinata wants to die. "Do you… want me to get off?" he asks, still frozen in place because he's too scared to move and accidentally repeat the same mistake.
"Um. No."
Hinata sighs with relief, but his hands still tremble as they grip onto Kageyama's shoulders. "Do you want to keep going?" he asks, even though the question is redundant. If Kageyama doesn't want him to get off, then he probably wants to also keep kissing, but…
He won't make that assumption. Even if he so badly wants those lips back on him.
"Sure. For more pictures?"
"Huh? O-oh! Yeah…"
Shit. Hinata completely forgot that. He laughs nervously and twists around to fix the camera before adjusting himself back in Kageyama's lap, this time careful not to grind down… and yet, when their lips meet, Hinata is sure he feels it over every inch of his body. He moans quietly, wrapping his arms around Kageyama's neck.
"We're getting some really good shots," he mumbles for good measure.
"Yeah," Kageyama responds, kissing him so languidly, like he's savouring every second. Sucking and biting until Hinata’s lip feels sore. It’s a little troubling how good he is at it. "You should accidentally send them to Atsumu."
Hinata's breath hitches, a small laugh escaping him. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" he teases, his fingers naturally curling into the hairs at the nape of Kageyama's neck. "How suggestive should we make it?" he asks, more concerned with the content of the photos rather than the likelihood of him surviving this.
"Maybe I should put a hand up your shirt," Kageyama suggests, slurring like he's drunk on Hinata's kisses. He doesn't even wait for Hinata to reply when he slips his hand under the fabric, calloused fingers brushing against the skin of Hinata's stomach.
Hinata tries, he really tries not to moan but he still does. They're in too deep for him to care about maintaining an aura of passivity. He's anything but. He shudders from Kageyama's touch, his skin prickling with desire.
This has to be a dream…
A really good dream.
"Maybe I should take it off entirely," he whispers, not waiting for Kageyama to say anything before he's breaking from the kiss and pulling his shirt over his head. It's not like Kageyama's never seen him shirtless anyway. It's fine. It's… for a good cause.
Right?
Though… Kageyama is staring at him… sort of like…
Oh.
Oh, my god. Kageyama is hard.
Hinata falters for a moment, his grip on Kageyama loosening. Should they stop? Is this going too far?
"Is this okay?" he asks hesitantly, suddenly self conscious that he just yanked his shirt off and threw it to the side. Now it's too far to reach!
Kageyama is red, redder than Hinata's ever seen him. He didn't even know Kageyama could get this flustered!
Does it mean anything? Or is it just a natural response to making out and feeling each other up and Kageyama would have been like this with just anyone?
Hinata really hopes it isn't that. He hates the thought of Kageyama's body just reacting to him for no reason other than they've been touching each other and it wouldn't matter to Kageyama who it is.
Maybe… maybe Hinata can focus on the fact that this is good news? Because it is, right? Kageyama is attracted to him, on some level. He has to be, otherwise he wouldn't be hard. Right?
"Maybe, um," Kageyama starts, clearing his throat. "Maybe we should stop here."
Oh no… did he make him uncomfortable?
They went too far. They definitely did. As quickly and un-awkwardly as he can, he removes himself from Kageyama's lap. It's easy to pretend he's unaware of the gravity of the situation and Kageyama's… situation, as he grabs his phone and pretends to be distracted with the contents.
"You know, we got a lot of good material," he says quickly, avoiding looking at Kageyama. If he looks at that flushed face a moment longer, he's going to convince himself of very stupid things that are just not true. "Sorry I… distracted us from food," he adds sheepishly, "want me to heat it up for you?"
And also… give them enough space to process this. He sincerely hopes he didn't just destroy their friendship out of petty need to get back at Atsumu.
"Yeah, sure," Kageyama says, clearing his throat again. "Good idea."
Thank god. A distraction.
Hinata's grateful as he quickly slips around the couch to grab his shirt, pulling it over his head aggressively. He grabs their container of food, heading into the kitchen.
This is awkward, but he won't let it stay that way for them!
Their friendship has seen many, many trials and tribulations through junior high, high school, volleyball. Now college. Hinata has to believe they'll be okay, and yet…
He can't shake away the icky feeling swelling up in him.
Did he… take advantage of the situation?
Kageyama reciprocated, but Hinata still can't shake away the feeling that his friend agreeing to do this while not knowing of Hinata's true feelings is a great betrayal of trust.
He sighs, dejected, his momentary hope of Kageyama's attraction to him slowly withering.
When he returns to the living room, at least Kageyama doesn't look disturbed.
"There's a party tomorrow night," Hinata decides to say, it's an easy enough distraction, "we could debut as a couple… Atsumu always goes to the parties."
"Good idea," Kageyama says, which surprises Hinata. Kageyama hates parties. Is he just that hellbent to mess with Atsumu?!
Hinata underestimated the levels of hate Kageyama had for that man. Then again, consistently calling him Ratsumu during the duration of the relationship was a good tell.
"Really?" Hinata smiles brightly. "You'll be my arm candy?"
Kageyama scoffs. "No. You'll be mine."
Oh?
Hinata blushes to what he's sure is a whole new undiscovered shade of red, his heart erratic and his mind static-y.
"So you'll be showing me off?" He somehow finds his voice, managing to tease.
"Yeah," Kageyama says, like that's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Then I'll need to wear something nice…" Hinata muses, grateful that at least now they're moving past the… thing. The Situation™ on the couch. "Will you help me?"
"Sure. Everything you wear is nice, though."
Hinata blushes. Had Kageyama always been this open and honest about what he thought of Hinata or is he just now overthinking because everything's sort of been painted over in a different hue…
"Well not everything," Hinata mumbles, "Tsukishima said I look dorky and prepubescent sometimes."
Kageyama rolls his eyes. "Tsukishima is an idiot."
Hinata smiles the slightest. He's still a bit reluctant to initiate contact, just in case Kageyama is still settling down, but he nudges him. "It's only been a few hours but you're already a better boyfriend than Atsumu."
Kageyama smiles at that. It looks a little secretive, like he's smiling to himself. Like he does when he's particularly proud of Hinata for jumping so high. "Of course I am. Atsumu sucks."
This time, Hinata rests his cheek against Kageyama's shoulder. He's a little nervous… he really doesn't know how to classify their relationship now after everything they just did. To feel Kageyama hard under him like that…
He tries not to lose his mind as he tilts his head up to meet Kageyama's eyes. "Do you want to watch a movie with me?"
"Sure."
He'll worry about the pictures tomorrow.
It's loud.
Which, no surprise — it's a party. He'd been to a few even with Atsumu against his will (and just ended up leaving early which led to a few of their breakups).
But maybe it's his nerves amplifying the sound.
The only thing that's grounding him is Kageyama's solid weight beside him, their hands clasped together. But then he changes his mind and wraps his arms around Kageyama's arm after seeing one couple huddled together.
They can't look like preschoolers holding hands for the first time, after all.
"Do you want a drink?" Hinata asks over the music, looking up to Kageyama. It should be a crime to look this good. They'd both gone with darker clothing, and… Kageyama just looks ridiculously good. It’s unfair.
"Yeah," Kageyama replies. He's looking around. Is he looking for Atsumu?
"Probably in the kitchen," Hinata muses, looking through the sea of dancing/grinding people, "do you want to wait for me here?"
It's already so crowded, he doesn't want to make it worse by dragging Kageyama through crowds of people.
"No," Kageyama replies, squeezing his hand. "We should stick together. Otherwise Ratsumu might corner you."
Hinata's face nearly splits from a grin and he nods, gently tugging Kageyama through the swarm of people toward the back kitchen — which is huge — to find a set of bottles. Someone is on the karaoke machine close to the kitchen and it's the most irritating thing ever, but he's hoping a shot will compel him to join or something.
"I still don't see him," Hinata takes a quick look around. He spots a few familiar faces as he grabs one of the more colorful bottles and pours both him and Kageyama a cup. "Cheers?" He hands Kageyama one of the cups, grinning. "To a long… happy relationship?"
"And to Atsumu's demise."
Hinata laughs at the unexpected remark. "You really hate him…"
It still surprises him and maybe a tiny delusional part of him hopes that it's because Kageyama's been harboring secret feelings…
He takes a quick shot of the weirdly sweet drink and hisses through his teeth.
"Oh that hurt my tummy," he groans almost immediately. It'll be really embarrassing if he ends up on the toilet at this party…
Kageyama frowns at the drink and then downs it, immediately grimacing. "This is gross."
Hinata clears his throat, slamming the cup down. "We had our first official drinks at this party and now…" he looks around, "we dance?"
Best way to get attention and debut themselves… a bit out of their comfort zone, but it should be fine. Hopefully. Maybe.
"I don't know how to dance," Kageyama says.
Hinata smiles. "You hold me and we just… vibe and stuff. You can follow my lead."
He wants to say it's basically what they'd been doing on the couch but standing, though considering how that went maybe it's not a good comparison…
"Okay," Kageyama nods. "Let's dance, then."
Hinata grins and takes Kageyama's hand, dragging him past the group of people to a more secluded area where they won't bump into people. He sets his hands on Kageyama's shoulders and presses closer, trying to focus on the music instead of the steady rhythmic thumping of his heart getting faster and faster.
"Put your hands on my… waist."
"Okay," Kageyama replies, inching closer and placing both of his hands on Hinata's waist, his fingers gently digging into the fabric of his shirt. "What next?"
Hinata sucks in his breath, slowly swaying against Kageyama, a grin lifting his lips.
"Now we grind against each other like idiots…" his fingers drift teasingly up to the back of Kageyama's neck, "think you can manage that?"
Atsumu is sure to drop dead if he sees this.
"I can try," Kageyama replies. Is Hinata crazy, or does he sound a little nervous?
"It's okay," Hinata smiles, leaning closer and completely wrapping his arms around Kageyama's neck, "we look better than everyone here anyway. You're doing great."
Kageyama says nothing. He just stares, swaying a little to the music. His movements are a bit awkward, but nothing that anyone else would notice. Hinata just knows Kageyama like the back of his hand.
It almost feels like it's just the two of them dancing, looking into each other's eyes. Hinata's sure he blushes, but Kageyama doesn't comment on it. No, he just keeps staring, blueberry eyes fixed on Hinata like tearing his gaze away would be painful.
And then, his eyes shift. They drift lower, to Hinata's lips. Oh. He saw that, he's sure he saw that… Kageyama's definitely looking at his lips. His heart picks up speed once again just as it had been calming down. Are they about to kiss? Kageyama's still looking at his lips! Should he—
Oh.
Time stills, the thrum of the music becoming nothing more than a distant echo as their lips connect into a deep kiss.
Hinata's sure his heart gives out, and yet he instinctively presses closer and moans in quiet content. The guilt and shame evaporates, replaced with nothing but pure adoration for his best friend and determination that he'll woo Kageyama all the while warding off Atsumu like bad juju.
"You're too good at this," he mumbles, not even sure Kageyama heard him.
"You too," Kageyama replies, which makes Hinata's heart thump. Kageyama technically had told him already that he was good at kissing, but still! Hinata would never get bored of hearing it.
He wants to hear it more, he wants to hear praises only from Kageyama. It doesn't matter from anyone else. That had always been true even when they'd been younger. Whether it be praise of volleyball or his athleticism in general and now…
He wants praises from Kageyama about how much of a good kisser he is. The thought that Kageyama might someday say this to someone else sets his chest on fire in all the wrong ways.
"I'm very determined," he whispers, catching blond hair from his peripheral. He grins, kissing Kageyama again and again. "I think… we have an audience."
That seems to light a fire in Kageyama, because he kisses him even harder, slipping his tongue into his mouth and cupping his face almost harshly, pulling him closer until their bodies are completely flush against each other's.
Hinata moans in surprise, going limp against Kageyama from the sudden euphoria and pleasure and pure, unfiltered adoration coursing through him. He knew Kageyama was passionate about things, especially volleyball… so it makes sense that he'd be equally passionate in something like this.
And yet, it still catches him off guard to be kissed breathless. It's dizzying and so… so good.
"I knew it!" Atsumu is suddenly beside them.
Hinata breaks away from the kiss, dazed and struggling to keep up with Atsumu’s words that come flying out way too fast.
"I knew you two always had a thing!" Atsumu shoves his phone in Hinata's face, showing off the few pictures Hinata had taken the night before. But he never sent those out! He pales, but Atsumu continues. "No one acts like this after just getting together! And you tried to get me to believe that you two never did anything, but you’re weird. There’s no way nothing was going on, you’re such a liar!"
"Uh…" Hinata manages. Very intelligent. He's struggling to come up with something to say. He had completely forgotten to post the pictures, so… how?! Now's not the time to worry about that, so he clears his throat. "We're just… very natural together."
"Yeah," Kageyama replies, putting his arm around Hinata and pulling him close. Oh. Now’s not the time, but Hinata flushes at the immediate warmth that courses through him. "That's what two people with real chemistry look like."
Atsumu's mouth drops open. "Shoyo!"
What's Hinata supposed to do?!
And frankly he can barely form a string of thoughts, much less a sentence. Kageyama smells so good…
Hinata's going to drop dead.
"Exactly," Hinata manages to say, "I'm… sorry, Atsumu, but we weren't good together. You should be with someone who really loves you… and that’s not me." Atsumu has to be able to see that, right? What they had was so brief and… strange. He can't seriously be wanting to get back to the weekly breakups.
"I knew it," Atsumu shakes his head, "I knew you'd run to him the second we broke up. This isn't over!"
And just like that he rushes off, after making a fool of himself. The second that he does, Hinata turns his sharp gaze to Kageyama.
"Did you send him the pictures?"
"Yes."
Hinata laughs, nudging Kageyama. "Okay, devious. I'm impressed… did you do this when I was asleep?" He can't remember any other moment when he put his phone down.
"No, while you were showering."
Hinata blushes. "Oh."
Didn't he take his phone with him in the bathroom? He's sure he left it on the counter…
"Very sneaky," he adds with a nervous laugh, tilting his head, "did you do it on purpose? Knowing he'd be here today?"
"Yes."
"Well, we proved our point…" Hinata turns, still pressed close to Kageyama, "do you want to stay and grab more drinks? Maybe get drunk and do stupid karaoke games?"
"Sure. Shove it in Atsumu's face."
Hinata brightens up. He'd been worried that maybe now with Atsumu all huffy and annoyed, Kageyama would consider this a win and want to leave. Then again, they'd made out for way longer than necessary yesterday, so maybe Kageyama is that committed…
Hand in hand, he tugs Kageyama over to a table set up instead of the kitchen where people are doing shots.
"Do you want to compete?" Hinata asks with a massive grin. "We can beat them."
"Okay. We'll win," Kageyama declares, with the same conviction he does when he says they'll win a match.
Hopefully the alcohol poisoning won't kill them.
But Hinata's determined. Not sure why, but… just about everything activates his competitive streak. The other two guys already look shitfaced, so even after him and Kageyama do shot after shot, they're still able to stay on their feet while the other two start swaying and gagging.
They tap out on the last two and Hinata whoops victoriously, slamming down his last one and leaping at Kageyama.
"We win!" he shouts. They've even summoned a crowd around them, cheering behind them. In all his excitement, he smashes his lips against Kageyama's, two seconds from actually jumping into his arms. "We should come to parties more!"
This is just like being at a game!
Competitive, loud and fun.
Kageyama is swaying a little, but he looks so… fond, looking at Hinata like… like he's totally in love with him!
Which is crazy, of course. But Hinata is drunk and can dream, right? Just for one night?
"You're right, this is fun," Kageyama says, looking almost a little… dopey. What a funny look on him! It must be the alcohol…
"Right?" Hinata grins, throwing his arms around Kageyama's neck and swaying with him. "But it's only fun because you're here…"
Kageyama smiles. Hinata loves when he smiles. It always feels like it's just for him. Kageyama definitely doesn't smile like that for others! Definitely not for Tsukki.
"Yeah. It'd be terrible without my little tangerine."
Hinata flushes brightly. "Yours?" he asks with a breathy little laugh. It's really hard not to get blinded by this moment. It's not real… and yet, he doesn't mind pretending. Just for a little. "Does that make you my blueberry?"
"Yeah," Kageyama says, brushing the back of his knuckles against Hinata's cheek. "Obviously."
Oh.
Hinata's heart stutters and his breath hitches. This is so silly, but he's also… so happy.
"No one could ever be you," he blurts out in a moment of sudden honesty, "I don't know why I bothered with Atsumu. He's not… you. You've made my standards very, very high."
Kageyama seems very satisfied to hear that. He has that little smirk that's usually on his lips when he does a particularly good toss. "I'm glad you finally see reason."
"I've always seen reason," Hinata pouts. As drunk as he is… he knows not to point out that the only reason he dated Atsumu was because of Kageyama. To get over him. "You're the best person I've ever known."
Kageyama smiles. "You're the best person I've ever known."
"Really?" Hinata presses closer, practically draping himself over Kageyama. "I'm that cool, huh?"
"Yeah. I wouldn't be best friends with someone uncool."
Hinata laughs. "No? You wouldn't make out with them either?"
God. He really likes kissing Kageyama… having sex with him would probably be even better—
Fuck.
Why is he thinking about that now?
And Kageyama was big… he felt it the day before while he was hard under him…
!!!
Oh god now he's getting hard.
Kageyama scoffs and rolls his eyes, but there's still that teeny tiny smile on his lips. "Why would I make out with someone uncool? I'm not dumb."
Hinata tries to laugh, even though he's undeniably flustered and turned on right now. Good to know alcohol makes him easy. But god he doesn't want to pull away.
"We're both a little dumb," Hinata points out, "we nearly failed high school."
"So? That doesn't make us uncool. Volleyball is more important than school."
"You're so cute…" Hinata laughs, pulling Kageyama closer to brush their lips into a kiss. He's getting so dangerously used to this. Maybe he'll need to be selfish and use Atsumu as an excuse for as long as he can. "Wanna do bad karaoke and dance with me?" He asks, nodding his head behind them. "Looks like there's another competition starting up."
"I can't sing," Kageyama replies, his hands on Hinata's waist. It burns. "We won't win that one."
Fuck.
Hinata doesn't want to do any of that, to be honest. He just wants to stumble into some corner and suck Kageyama's face off.
"Yeah but they're drunk. And like, so bad," he giggles, "no matter how bad we do, they're worse. Because we… we're so much cooler."
Kageyama hums. "You're right. We are."
Pleased with the answer, Hinata drags Kageyama over to a small set up where a colorful array of drinks have been set out and people are doing shitty duets. Apparently whoever loses the drinking game has to put on a whole show. Hinata almost kind of wants to lose just to put on a performance.
"You know…" he gently nudges Kageyama, "if you get tired any time, just tell me and we can go home."
Though if they do, he won't be able to justify pawing at Kageyama. So, they need to stay. For eternity, if at all possible. Maybe they can merge with the wall. Maybe—
"Hey," Kageyama growls, shaking Hinata out of his thoughts. "Back off," he adds, wrapping a protective arm around Hinata and pulling him flush against his chest.
Hinata oomph's when his cheek collides with Kageyama's firm chest. What the hell is happening?
"Huh?" He blinks blearily, sobering up somewhat as he looks up to Kageyama's tense face. He turns his head, expecting Atsumu or something, but it's just a random drunk holding his hands up in surrender.
"Chill bro," the guy scoffs, "just lookin' for some fun."
Hinata ignores him, shifting his attention back to Kageyama. "Hey, it's okay. Wanna go get some fresh air?"
"Yeah," Kageyama grumbles, still glaring at the guy.
Yikes. Hinata definitely didn't notice the guy getting close or even touching him, but he definitely felt something brush against his ass and assumed maybe Kageyama decided to be bold.
Gently taking Kageyama's hand, he tugs him away from the next game that's started and only stops when they're outside in the cool night air. He's not sure if Kageyama wants him close, but he doesn't drop his hand and squeezes it gently.
"Thanks for defending my honor?" He offers with a small laugh.
"I should have punched him."
Hinata swallows nervously. "Or maybe not, because then a fight would break loose and you'd hurt your hand…" he brings said hand to his lips, kissing it, "I can't have my setter getting injured."
"Right," Kageyama replies, his eyes softening.
Hinata smiles, leaning up on his toes to press a kiss to Kageyama's lips. Much to his dismay, he realizes, there's no actual reason to be doing that. They're not doing it for a camera, a crowd or Atsumu. There is no logical reason for this kiss…
Maybe Kageyama won't say anything.
"Feeling better?"
"Yeah," Kageyama replies. He has that soft smile that makes Hinata melt. He definitely didn't mind the kiss. Or maybe he didn't realize it was out of place…?
Should Hinata try again?
It feels too risky and self-serving, and yet… like a moth to a flame, Hinata wants to chase those perfect lips. He can come up with an excuse after.
Being drunk is an excuse all by itself, right?
Leaning close, he connects their lips into a deeper kiss as he wraps his arms around Kageyama's neck to draw him in.
Much to his relief, Kageyama kisses him back, and even slips his tongue into his mouth. Hinata shudders, his moans echoing loudly in the quiet night as he presses close and allows his fingers to tangle in Kageyama's hair.
It's too good to break away from, so he deepens the kiss and sucks Kageyama's tongue into his mouth. With every motion of their connected lips, Hinata feels the heat in his core getting hotter and hotter.
"Good?" he asks, breaking away from the kiss for much needed breath.
"Mm, yeah," Kageyama replies, leaning in to kiss him again, and again, like he can't get enough either.
Maybe Hinata can really use this as an opportunity to make Kageyama fall in love with him. Show him how great it would be for the two of them to date! They're already very compatible physically and they've known each other for years. This would work out in both their favors. Right? Kageyama is bound to see that if they continue this. And he said he didn’t mind doing this for a long time, so…
Hinata holds Kageyama close, returning each kiss fervently. "Do you want to go home? We don't have to wait around here…" he whispers against Kageyama's lips.
"Yeah. Sure," Kageyama replies, slowly pulling away. "I think we drank enough. You taste like alcohol."
Hinata laughs, stumbling somewhat from the growing distance between them. "A bit yeah… I wanted to beat those dorks at karaoke but, I think I'd rather go home with you… maybe have some takeout and put on a movie to ignore."
And makeout, lots. He's getting very addicted. And if Kageyama is fine kissing out here when no one is looking, then surely he will be at home too!
Right…?
"Why would we put on a movie if we're going to ignore it?"
Hinata hums, long and hard. "So the house isn't too quiet while we eat?"
And so it's not completely awkward when Hinata inevitably throws himself at Kageyama, but he doesn't say that.
"The house is never quiet," Kageyama points out. "You talk a lot."
Hinata's mouth drops open. "So do you!" He shouts too loudly and instantly shrinks, pointing a finger at Kageyama's face. "You never complain," he hisses more quietly. Ish.
"I wasn't complaining."
"Oh…" Hinata flushes brightly, "oh, uh… so you like my talking?"
Kageyama stares at him, unblinking. "Obviously," he says, like that's the most obvious thing in the world.
"Right or you'd tell me to shut up," Hinata grins, taking Kageyama's hand to start dragging him back to their place, "I'd say tonight was a success! We made our official debut as a couple."
"Yeah. Atsumu was pissed."
Kageyama sounds very satisfied about that…
It's so cute. Hinata is so unbearably fond. He leans against Kageyama, looping their arms together.
"A bunch of people definitely saw. You don't mind?" He looks to Kageyama. "Like our teammates knowing?"
"Why would I?"
Hinata shrugs. "Well… you're more private, so I thought…" he trails off, smiling the slightest, "or maybe you're one of those people who like to show off their relationship."
"Maybe I do like showing you off."
There's only so much blushing Hinata can handle. He definitely feels like he's going to die. How does Kageyama just throw these words around? And yet, he looks so calm when he says it.
"Really?" Hinata asks with a grin. "You like me that much?"
This feels right out of his many fantasies.
"Obviously," Kageyama huffs.
Hinata hums long and hard, bumping his hip with Kageyama's. "You should show me how much you like me…"
"How?"
Is it too bold to demand kisses and more touching?
Probably.
Hinata doesn’t want to get too greedy, but the alcohol is making him ridiculously bold and also ridiculously needy.
"Kisses?" he suggests innocently, batting his eyes.
Kageyama smiles. Ugh. He looks so soft. "Okay."
"I might need a few, just so you know…" Hinata adds, trying his best not to die under Kageyama’s watchful eyes. "To make sure and stuff. Is that okay?"
A few would never be enough. They could go their entire lives with locked lips and Hinata would still want more.
"Yeah, it's okay," Kageyama replies. He leans close, dipping his head and ghosting over Hinata's lips, his breath warm. "You can have anything you want," he adds, before his lips finally cover Hinata's, and Hinata melts.
Having anything he wants would be this for the rest of their lives. Hinata can’t imagine anything better.
As unsteady and numb as he is from both the alcohol and the intoxicating warmth of Kageyama’s lips, he still manages to loosely wrap an arm around Kageyama’s neck to pull him closer.
"I want you," Hinata breathes against Kageyama’s lips, his heart erratic and thunderous in his chest. It’s taking everything in him not to blurt out how much he loves Kageyama.
He's not even sure if Kageyama even hears him, because he doesn't say anything, and just continues on kissing him.
It's fine.
It's probably better like this.
Right?