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The man that may well be the love of Steven Meeks’ life gets mugged, concussed, and nearly killed by a train all on the same day. Merry Christmas.
“Fucking shit!” he swears to himself. They’re the only two people to be found in the normally bustling train station today. Steven runs over to the fallen man, now lying unconscious on the train tracks, and attempts to haul his ass out of here. Unfortunately, anything resembling muscles has eluded him his whole life, and this task proves quite difficult.
A train whistle blows in the distance, and Steven actually takes a second to yell “Are you fucking kidding me?” in its direction before working twice as hard to remove the very handsome and very unconscious man from the path of an extremely unfortunate Christmas.
When they’re safe, Steven panting from exertion and eternally pissed off at the universe for endangering this man’s life before Steven has managed to woo him away, Steven reaches into the man’s coat to fish out an ID for the hospital.
“Neil Perry,” he says aloud. “Well, let’s get you an ambulance, then.” Neil, naturally, doesn’t answer.
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“Look,” Steven is telling a nurse in his best I’m-trying-to-be-reasonable-but-I-will-get-what-I-want voice. “I didn’t come all this way to have you tell me I’m not allowed to check and make sure the man I’ve just rescued and brought to the ER is all right.”
She purses her lips at him. “I’m sorry, but it’s hospital policy. Family and close friends only.”
This is unbelievable. He just wants to make sure Neil Perry didn’t bite it back in the train station or something. Surely the doctors can understand him not wanting that weighing on his conscience, particularly on Christmas Eve. He’s getting a little desperate now, tempted to tell the woman he’s Neil Perry’s brother or his cousin or something. Surprising even himself, what comes out instead is “I’m his fiancé.”
It’s like he’s just worked magic. The nurse’s entire expression changes. He can practically see this woman’s mind spinning the tale of their tragic love story in her head--oh, how awful, and just before Christmas too--and she tearfully escorts him to Neil’s hospital room. She pats his arm kindly and tells him that if he needs anything, he’s to come find her. The doctor starts to object to Steven’s being there, but the nurse whispers hurriedly in his ear and he inhales a sharp “oh!” and nods grimly.
“All right, Mr.-”
“Meeks. Uh, Steven Meeks?”
“Yes, well, your fiancé here took quite a blow to the head, and...Well, I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, it being the holiday season and all, but he’s fallen into a coma and we have no way to tell when--or if--he’ll wake up again.”
Steven’s not totally sure his reaction is appropriately shocked and dismayed enough for the role Steven’s accidentally cast himself in, but the doctor gives him a sympathetic look and leaves.
“Well, shit, Neil,” Steven sighs into the sudden silence. He sits down in the chair besides Neil’s bed and stares at his now-comatose supposed soulmate. “I, um, I’m really sorry--I know it wasn’t exactly my fault or anything, but...yeah. This is easily the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
He doesn’t have long to contemplate the weirdness of talking to a coma patient whom, until now, he’d known as “that cute guy” and had only ever said “hi” to once, because suddenly there’s a lot of shouting and people all walking in at once and general chaos. Steven has a very, very bad feeling about all of this.
A tall balding man is yelling at various hospital staff, the woman beside him is crying loudly, an objectively pretty blond girl and the man who’s clearly her significant other are both saying some unintelligible things under the cacophony, and it’s nearly a full minute before the man--probably Neil’s father--looks at him with confusion and asks, “Who the hell are you?”
He’s going to tell them the truth. He really is. He’s going to tell Neil’s family that he saw Neil get hurt and he brought him to the emergency room, because they’ll understand that and dismiss him. But, because this is actually the most unlucky day of Steven’s life, the nurse who’d brought him here in the first place exclaims loudly, ‘Didn’t you know? He’s engaged to your son.”
Every eye in the room is suddenly on him.
He gulps nervously and re-adjusts his glasses. “Uh-”
“Neil was going to announce it at Christmas dinner tomorrow, wasn’t he?” the man beside the blond girl asks suddenly. Then he chuckles. “Sneaky bastard.”
The girl beside him hits his arm at this and hisses something at him about “language” and “respectful” and “you’re in a hospital.”
“Sorry, sorry,” the man says, giving Steven a slightly apologetic look. “I’m Knox, and this is my wife Chris.” He leans forward and shakes Steven’s hand. “I don’t know why Neil never mentioned you,” Knox muses, his voice a bit softer. “But then, he only came out to his folks last year, to pretty mixed results, so then again, maybe not.”
Steven has the feeling he’s opened a whole Pandora’s Box that he should’ve left the hell alone.
“Anyway,” Knox brightens a bit. “Chris and I are old friends of Neil’s. Old enough to be invited to his family’s Christmas dinner, anyway. What did you say your name was?”
Steven bites back the “I didn’t” and instead says “Steven Meeks.”
“Pleasure to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
Chris surges forward to shake Steven’s hand as well. “Chris Overstreet, but Knox already told you that.” Knox’s wife gives him a genuine smile that’s truly lovely, and for a second, Steven relaxes. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Steven says, suddenly hyper aware of the wide-eyed look on Neil’s mother’s face and the hard, closed-off expression on Neil’s father. Shit. He needs to say something, confess right now-
But then Neil’s mother comes over to him and pulls him into a huge hug and blubbers into his shoulder, half-sobbing words that sound horribly like “welcome to the family.” Slightly terrified by the prospect of dealing with a crying woman, he hugs her back and awkwardly pats her hair. Mr. Perry, Steven notes over her shoulder, is glaring silent and cold at him.
“I’m sorry,” she says finally, pulling away and dabbing at her eyes. “It’s just that I never thought I’d see a day when my son would finally settle down.” She gives him a watery smile and Steven’s heart sinks. If he tells her now he’ll probably kill her. “Oh, Steven, won’t you come to Christmas dinner tomorrow night with us? It seems you were meant to have come anyway.”
Steven is going to tell them no. He absolutely is.
But then Knox and Chris, damn them, join in, with gusto.
“Oh, Steven, that would be wonderful! You must. We have to get to know the man Neil’s going to marry!” Chris says, overlapping an equally enthusiastic Knox.
“You should definitely come, it’ll be great. Charlie’s coming in from California and everything.”
Steven attempts to appear he knows what this means. “Oh, is he?”
“Yeah, Neil made him promise he would. Probably didn’t want both of his best friends in the world missing his engagement announcement, since Todd’s on his stupid vacation with his family. Charlie hasn’t been this side of the states in awhile anyway.”
Steven privately files away the names and corresponding information. He has a feeling there may be a test later.
“All right, I’ll come.” And he knows that this is really, really terrible, but the smile on Mrs. Perry’s face despite the obvious tragedy that’s befallen her makes him feel just that little bit better.
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“I’m sorry, you did what now?” He’s having a beer with Gerard. Or, more accurately, Gerard is having a beer and Steven is most likely having a panic attack.
“What am I going to do?” he moans, flopping down on the couch in Gerard’s living room. Gerard lives in the apartment directly below Steven’s and is his best friend by a wide margin. Although he’s seriously rethinking that, because the asshole just laughs at him and says “How do you even get into situations like this?”
Steven gives up, sighing heavily. “I don’t know.”
“Well, you’ve got to go to Christmas dinner tomorrow. You’ll break Mrs. Perry’s heart.”
Steven shoots him a Look. “I know that, do you think I would have agreed in the first place if I didn’t? What are you doing tomorrow, then?”
Gerard actually blushes at this. Steven is fascinated. “I’m, uh, going over to Ginny’s.”
Steven raises an eyebrow. “Really. Well, I don’t feel so bad for abandoning you anymore.” Gerard laughs at him, tipping back the rest of his beer.
“Just go, Steven. Who knows? Maybe all of this has been a happy accident. Maybe it’s meant to be.”
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He goes to Neil’s hospital room that night and sits at his bedside. “I’m sorry for...for everything. I know this is a really big mess, and you’ll hate me by the end of it. I know that. I don’t expect any less.” He pauses. “I like Knox. You’re lucky. Your friends and your family really care about you.” He laughs, remembering Mrs. Perry’s highly emotional state. “Your mom’s adorable. I think she wants to adopt me. Well. She thinks I’m going to be her son anyway.” He heaves a long sigh. “I’m sorry for fucking everything up, Neil. I really am. I hope you wake up soon so we can sort all this out and go on with the whole total strangers thing. At this point, that’s the preferable situation.”
He ends up falling asleep in the hospital room and wakes up only when he hears footsteps. When he wakes, Mr. Perry is leaving the room, looking like the last thing in the world he wants is to have a conversation with Steven. He really can’t blame the man.
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Knox had texted Steven the address. Of course he had. He’s known Knox for about five minutes, but he can already tell Knox is like a big, friendly dog, one that’s very sweet and very dumb, but eager to be helpful. He probably fetches Chris’ slippers.
Having been raised in the mentality that you never under any circumstances arrive somewhere you’ve been invited empty-handed, he slides awkwardly out of the cab clutching a mildly pathetic Poinsettia plant that he’d picked up from the florist three streets down from his apartment building. Once in front of the Perry’s door, however, he’s completely ready to turn around and run the other way and never, ever come back. ‘Don’t be such a coward,’ he scolds himself instead, and knocks on the door.
“Steven! Oh, I’m so glad you made it!” Mrs. Perry cries, as if he hadn’t promised her just yesterday he’d be there. She throws her arms around him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Steven likes her.
“Merry Christmas,” he says, holding out the red plant still tucked under his arm. Mrs. Perry scoops it up from him, delighted.
“Oh, goodness, aren’t you thoughtful. Thank you.” And Steven knows she really means it. “Come in, come in.” She holds the door open for him, gesturing him inside with a wave of the hand. Steven ducks into the house, reflecting absently that this is the most surreal experience of his entire life.
“Steven! You came!” Chris shouts happily, as if he could have possibly stood up this group of people who’ve dealt with devastation by clinging to him like a mast. ‘More like an anchor,’ Steven reflects darkly. Maybe this is what Gerard had meant by “Stop stewing in the negative and live a little, Meeks! Inherit the earth!” To be fair, they’d both been pretty drunk at the time.
He gives her a hug on impulse and she returns it like instinct. He wonders at his luck of getting drawn into a group of genuinely kind, well-meaning people, and wonders if that makes the whole situation better or worse.
There are more people here today than there were back at the hospital room--probably a lot of extended family. He’s introduced to everyone, though he notices they carefully avoid the label of “Neil’s fiancé.” He figures it’s likely because they want Neil to do it himself, but he’s grateful nonetheless.
“Where is Charlie? I haven’t seen the asshole in ages,” Knox says as they move towards the dinner table. There’s a little girl with Neil’s eyes that he thinks was a cousin gazing up at him rapturously, and it’s slightly terrifying.
“Fashionably late, as usual. We’ll start without him.” Mrs. Perry says fondly. Steven wishes he could have a proper conversation with her without worrying he’ll give himself away and make recent events worse than they already are. “Come on, he won’t mind if we start eating without him.”
They’re in the middle of dinner, Steven helping himself to some more of the incredible Christmas ham Mrs. Perry made, when the front door bangs open and a man shouts “Honey, I’m home!”
“Charlie!” Knox gets up quickly to greet the infamous man, and Steven hears their greeting--did Charlie just call him “Knoxious”? Really?--before they both step back into the dining room.
There’s a general ripple of pleasure through the dining room as everyone greets this Charlie. He’s clearly a crowd favorite. For his part, Charlie grins back at all of them and kisses Mrs. Perry on the cheek before she can get to him.
He’s already sitting down and helping himself to food when he looks up at Steven quizzically. “And you are...?”
Steven’s face burns. It’s bad enough that he’s lying to this whole family; does he have to lie to a guy that, had they met under other circumstances, Steven would already be half in love with?
Charlie is absolutely gorgeous, no one in the room could deny that. He’s got the brown eyes Steven’s so weak for, and stupid hair that Steven can tell is supposed to look casually messy but that also took Charlie at least an hour to get just right. But it isn’t even the tangible, physical stuff that has Steven suddenly tongue-tied, it’s the quirk of his lips and the aura of ease and confidence that’s settled around Charlie that makes him suddenly the most attractive guy Steven’s ever seen.
He shoots Mrs. Perry a nervous look, who cuts in, “He’s a friend of Neil’s, and we wanted him to come to dinner even though Neil couldn’t...make it.”
The silence that suddenly falls over the dining room is deafening.
“What exactly did Neil do?” Charlie asks finally, looking more amused by his friend’s misfortune than anything.
“He uh, got mugged and they shoved him a little too hard right next to the, um, train tracks?”
Charlie fucking laughs at this. “Of course he did, jesus christ, Neil.” He shakes his head and goes back to cutting up a slice of ham.
Steven is doomed.
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The rest of the evening is rather pleasant and uneventful, all things considered. The younger cousins and friends’ children are playing with the toys they’d opened that morning while the adults drown themselves in champagne in the kitchen. At this point, Steven is more than happy to get a bit drunk.
“So,” and Charlie is talking to him, directly to him. “I get the feeling I don’t exactly know the full story about you.”
For a moment, Steven thinks that Charlie’s already managed to figure him out, but then remembers the awkward introduction he’d been given at dinner.
“Right. Well--”
“And what exactly was your name again?” Charlie interrupts.
“Steven Meeks?” It comes out as a question. And Charlie...smiles at him.
“Right. Go on, then.”
“Um...”
He casts a desperate look at Mrs. Perry, who swoops in and says softly, “We can trust Charlie, he’s been Neil’s best friend for years. Charlie, Steven and Neil are engaged.”
For one moment--and he can’t rule out the possibility that he imagined it--Charlie’s face falls, his casually defiant exterior crumbling into something like disappointment. He recovers quickly. “Aha. My, ah, condolences then.”
“Thank you.” He and Charlie are looking at each other in a way that feels entirely too honest, and god, he’s in the Perry’s kitchen, Neil’s mom is standing right next to him, but all he wants is to tell Charlie that it’s not true at all.
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He ends up sleeping on the living room couch, everyone insisting he stay the night. And, because he drank much more champagne than strictly advisable after his half-conversation with Charlie, he agrees. Mrs. Perry babies him, bringing him blankets and asking if he needs anything else at least four times, hugging him again before going upstairs to bed.
And, because this is his life, that’s when Charlie swaggers into the room. He has to restrain himself from groaning and burying his face in his pillow.
“So. You’re marrying my best friend.” It’s not a question. “I can’t believe he never told me about you. Actually, I can. He probably tried to hide you from me so I couldn’t seduce you away.” He pauses, considering. “I still might try.”
Steven quirks an eyebrow. “You’d try to seduce someone who’s engaged?”
Charlie gives him a fond smile, a wry thing that's just on this side of bitter. “I have a thing for hopeless cases. Mind if I smoke?” He adds, pulling out a lighter.
“It’s not my house,” Steven shrugs. “But that shit will ruin your lungs, you know. The radiation from a single pack of cigarettes is equal to the radiation of about two thousand x-rays. Do you really want to willingly put that into your body? Plus, the CDC estimates that male smokers will lose about 13 years of their life, which is probably because there are four thousand eight hundred different chemicals in a single cigarette, sixty-nine of which are known carcinogens.”
Charlie is giving him a look Steven can’t place. It’s somewhere between wonder, amusement, and irritation.
“Tobacco is the number one cause of preventable deaths in America?” he tries.
Charlie lights up in response, and Steven sighs. “Just...take that outside, at least. Secondhand smoke is a real thing.”
Charlie takes the cigarette away from his lips in something like amazement. “You’re something else, you know?” And he puts the cigarette out. Steven knows a victory when he sees one, but he tries not to be an ass about it.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. Really.”
Steven’s almost asleep when he hears “Marrying Neil, god, my fucking life.”
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“Thank you, Mrs. Perry, really,” he’s saying as he makes his way for the door.
“Are you sure you can’t stay a bit longer, Steven?” She seems to have decided to be entirely charmed by him.
“I really shouldn’t. I’ve got things to take care of today.”
“All right, dear. Well, you’re welcome back anytime.” The fact that Mr. Perry hasn’t actually spoken to him once since they were first introduced in the emergency room says that may not be the case, but Steven smiles at her and reassures he’ll visit again very soon.
He gets a cab and, on impulse, directs the driver to the hospital instead of his apartment.
When he walks into Neil’s room, he finds Charlie already there. Of course. But Charlie looks completely different from the cocky, mildly flirtatious man he’d met last night. He looks wrecked, sitting at Neil’s bedside and talking to him as if Neil’s listening.
“Knock knock,” he says, in lieu of actually knocking. Charlie looks up at him, a smile that’s more regretful than anything.
“Hey. I’ll leave, I was just going anyway.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t care. You don’t need to leave. I can go if you-”
“No. Stay.”
Steven settles in the other chair in the room on the opposite side of Neil’s bed. All three of them are silent.
“So, how’d you two meet?” Charlie asks finally, not meeting Steven’s eyes.
“Uh, the train station, actually. He looked up at me and said hi, and then I said hi and...” it’s not even a lie.
“God, it’s like a romantic comedy.”
“Not very funny,” Steven mumbles under his breath, though not at all for the reasons Charlie clearly thinks, because Charlie’s eyes go wide and he says, “Shit! Shit, I didn’t...I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t worry about it, I’m good.”
“You don’t look well.”
Steven grins at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since last night. “That’s supposed to make me feel better.”
“I didn’t mean it like that, asshole. You know perfectly well you’re gorgeous.”
They both drop their eyes again. “Um.”
“Look, this is depressing as hell, do you want to get out of here?” Charlie asks abruptly, standing up and waiting for a reply.
“Yeah. I’d like that.” Charlie’s answering smile is a real one this time.
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They end up getting lunch together and walking around town, laughing about stupid shit and ribbing each other like they’ve known each other for years and not two days.
“Are you joking?” Charlie asks when Steven can’t fight the urge anymore and brings out his pipe. “You spent half of last night lecturing me, in very clinical detail, on the dangers of smoking and now you’re smoking a freaking pipe?”
“Just because I’m screwing over my body doesn’t mean I want everyone else to.”
Charlie huffs out a sigh that sounds like he’s conceding the point very begrudgingly. “My grandfather smokes a pipe.”
“Whatever. If I agree to not harass you about smoking, will you agree not to harass me?”
“Fair enough.”
They continue walking, Charlie ranting about some losers back in California that are, in his own words, “Even more pretentious than I am!”
“Is that possible?” Steven asks, because he’s willing to admit he’s kind of an ass sometimes.
“Shut up,” Charlie says back, but he’s laughing, and then Steven is laughing, and then he feels an ache in his chest so sharp he almost leaves right then and there.
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By the end of the day, Steven knows that Charlie used to play the clarinet at his parents’ insistence, but he took up the saxophone to spite them and found he actually enjoyed it. He knows that Charlie writes poetry he knows is sappy and dumb sometimes when he’s drunk. He’s learned that Charlie moved to California after dropping out of college several years ago because he couldn’t bear living in a place full of more memories than people. Charlie and Neil have been best friends since high school, Knox is their token straight friend, Charlie and Neil’s dad have never gotten along and Charlie has no plans to remedy this, and Steven feels horribly like he’s unwittingly betrothed himself to the wrong man.
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When he stumbles back into his apartment that night (Charlie had walked him to his door and they’d stood outside it a moment like they’d just gotten back from prom and couldn’t decide if they were too nervous to lose their virginities in a motel that night), Gerard is sitting in his living room, eyebrow raised, beer in hand.
“Explain.”
Steven sinks against the door and collapses to the ground.
“And now I’m falling in love with my coma patient’s best friend.”
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Fifteen miles away, Charlie sits in Neil’s hospital room and says quietly, “Fine, Neil. You fucking win. I’m jealous. Did you do this on purpose? I’ve been your best friend for years and years, and I’ve always been happy to let you have whatever came your way. Until now.”
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He doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up. The family will find out soon enough. He’ll slip up, he’ll be missing some essential information, there’s no way he can pull this off.
“Gerard, what does a heart attack feel like?” His best friend had proven himself by staying the whole night after Steven had given Gerard the entire story.
“You’re not having a heart attack. Relax.
But he can’t relax because he knows this is all way out of his control, and that it’s going to hurt worse than anything when it all comes tumbling down.
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The night before the worst day of his life starts out well. It starts out really well, actually, because Charlie shows up at his apartment and invites himself in for dinner.
“Mind if I drop in?”
“Not at all,” he says, hating the happiness that comes over him completely unbidden.
They laugh while Steven chops vegetables on autopilot, completely tuning out everything except Charlie’s voice. He’s talking about some stupid thing he’d pulled at his high school, trying to get girls in by arranging a “phone call from god” and Steven is practically crying he’s laughing so hard. It could be the onions, though.
“This is really good,” Charlie says as they eat chicken (on the couch, because Steven doesn’t actually have a table besides the coffee table).
“I’m pretty decent at cooking,” Steven admits modestly.
“No, seriously, this is fantastic.”
“You flatter me.”
Charlie just rolls his eyes and keeps eating. Some dumb cop show is playing on the television, but they’re mostly ignoring it, except when the guy who is OBVIOUSLY the serial killer tries to help the police catch the murderer, and they both sigh in exasperation.
Steven glances over at Charlie to find that Charlie is already looking at him, and his breath hitches, and then Charlie is kissing him, their food abandoned as he practically climbs on top of Steven to better reach his mouth.
“Oh god,” Steven squeaks, but he’s kissing back, desperate, because he’s wanted this and Charlie’s wanted it too, and he feels like if he stops kissing Charlie he’s going to break.
Charlie makes quick work of Steven’s fly, and yeah, Steven had figured him for a get-to-the-point guy.
“Condoms?” Charlie breathes, and somehow he even manages to make that sound dangerous and sexy.
“Shit, not here.” He pulls Charlie into the bedroom, Charlie kissing up his neck in a way that is entirely distracting him from his mission. “Fuck,” he says, arching his neck to give Charlie a better angle. Charlie’s unbuttoning Steven’s shirt as he does so, and the overwhelming roar of pleasure in his ears makes him deaf to everything else. “Yes, god, don’t stop.” Charlie’s on his knees and Steven can’t believe this is actually a thing that is happening. Steven makes a sound he thinks he should be embarrassed about, but considering that Charlie is mouthing at his cock, he’s willing to let it go.
“Shit! God, yes. Charlie?”
Charlie makes a humming noise to indicate he’s listening, which really shouldn’t be as hot as it is.
"Did I leave the stove on...ooh fuck, yeah, yeah."
"No, I'm pretty sure you--fuck, god you’re good--turned it off."
“Okay,” he can barely breathe, Charlie has gone back to sucking his cock and is doing something obscene with his tongue that’s making it impossible to think. Also, his brain is beginning to register that oh yeah, this really hot guy he met about five days ago is blowing him against a wall and that effectively shuts off his brain for quite a while. He settles for tangling a hand in Charlie’s ridiculous hair and letting out a string of swear words that would make a sailor proud. Apparently that works for Charlie, too, because he moans around Steven’s cock and takes him in deeper. “Oh god, yeah, just--yeah, like that.” He has no brain-to-mouth filter anymore, he’s just babbling, but Charlie likes it, and Steven is so close--
“Shit, Charlie, I’m going to--” But Charlie doesn’t stop, and Steven is completely over the edge. “God, Charlie.”
And he stops worrying. For once in his life, he just forgets everything except for this, he lets the pleasure and the want wash over him, lets Charlie kiss up and down his body, lets Charlie fuck him, gives himself over to the moment and enjoys himself.
It probably makes the following morning that much worse, actually.
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Steven awakes to the sound of “Fuuuuuuuuuuck.” Charlie has managed to make the word at four syllables.
“What’s--” but Steven cuts himself off because Charlie is sitting up in bed, staring at him wide-eyed. After they’d fucked, they’d showered and fallen back into bed together, and apparently Charlie had slept over. Not a big deal.
“We slept together last night.” In every way possible.
“Yeah?” Steven’s tired and kind of wishes Charlie would calm down and continue spooning up behind him. It was nice.
“Steven.” Charlie’s tone is urgent, dangerous. He shakes Steven by the shoulder until he groggily sits up, rubbing his eyes and fumbling for his glasses.
“What?”
“You’re marrying my best friend. We fucked and you’re marrying my best friend.”
Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Right. He’s the bad guy now. He’s the slut who fell into bed with the guy who’s practically his supposed-fiancé’s brother. Awesome. This is what he gets for letting go and stopping overthinking things.
“No, I’m not.” Charlie tenses, and Steven panics. Maybe this is only going to make things worse. But he has to try, because he can’t bear the way Charlie is looking at him right now. “I’m not marrying Neil, Charlie, you have to--”
“So you’ve been lying the whole time, then? You’re not actually interested in marrying Neil? What the hell do you think you’re doing, then? What were you hoping to accomplish? All you’ve done is screw a lot of people over, and for what? To get laid, to get the family on your side only to call off the wedding and break everyone’s heart? Who the fuck do you think you are?” Charlie snaps, and is out of the bedroom in seconds.
“Charlie! Charlie, wait, please let me explain, please, you have to let me explain.”
“You lied to me. You lied to all of us, but you lied to me.” Steven can’t miss the way Charlie’s voice is close to breaking by the end of his sentence.
“Charlie. Please.” Desperation isn’t normally Steven’s thing, but there’s nothing else to feel right now. Because Charlie’s pissed at him for all the wrong reasons, he doesn’t even know.
Charlie turns around in the doorway and Steven draws back, afraid of what he sees. Charlie is a mix of anger and disappointment and disgust and complete, utter, heartbreak. “Goodbye, Steven. Good luck repairing your relationship. Give Neil my best.”
The door slams behind him so loudly he knows the whole building will have been woken up. He can’t find it in him to care at all.
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His phone rings a few hours later, waking him up from where he’d fallen asleep once more on the couch. “Hi, Knox.” So Charlie’s talked to him.
“Steven? Oh thank god I caught you, you’ll never believe it, this is the best day of your life.”
‘I sincerely fucking doubt that,” he wants to say, but instead tries, “Oh?”
“Neil’s waking up.”
He’s silent for so long that Knox ventures, “...Steven? You still there?”
“Is Charlie with you?” he asks, and hates himself.
“No--I thought you knew--Charlie left for California this morning. He’ll be pissed that he just barely missed Neil and everything, but yeah, he’s gone. Plane left an hour ago.”
Steven’s heart sinks. So he’s really managed to destroy everything. Well, in a way it’s good. At least that’ll be one less thing to shatter when Neil wakes up and everything comes out.
“I’ll be at the hospital right away,” he says quietly, and his voice sounds choked, like he’s going to cry. Knox probably reads into that wrong, but it’s all right. He’ll deal with that soon enough.
“Good, Mrs. Perry wants you here.”
His heart breaks all over again. He’s never done anything this catastrophic in his life.
“Tell her I’ll be there soon,” is all he can manage before shutting off the phone and sobbing like a baby into the couch cushion. He feels like he’s about to be crushed by an enormous weight, one that fell on him a long time ago.
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Neil is, indeed, stirring when Steven has finally composed himself and arrived at the hospital. For once, even Mr. Perry looks hopeful and patient.
“M-mom?” he asks blearily. Mrs. Perry honks into a handkerchief and has to turn away. “Dad?” Mr. Perry leans in and kisses his son on the forehead--the first act of kindness or emotion Steven’s ever seen him express. Neil starts to smile, looking at all the people who loves standing around him. Then his eyes turn to Steven. “Who are you?”
God, here it comes.
“Oh god, he has amnesia!” cries Mr. Perry. Fucking hell.
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Mr. Perry clears his throat once everyone has left the room except himself and Steven. “Steven, I wonder if we might talk.”
Though it’s the last thing in the world he wants, Steven nods and follows Neil’s father outside into the hall expectantly.
“I don’t like that my son thinks he’s gay.”
A long pause. Oh god, does Steven seriously have to deal with this? What did he do to deserve all this, ever?
“However, I feel I may have...mistreated you. I’m still getting used to the idea, and as you know, this came entirely out of nowhere for all of us.”
Yeah, Steven’s well aware.
“But you’re still a person--a person it seems my son cares a great deal about, though he appears to have forgotten that at present--and you deserve more respect than I have given you.” He swallows. Steven’s actually sort of impressed. Neil’s father is really, really trying here. “I’m glad that, even if I don’t necessarily approve, my son has found someone who loves him the way he deserves to be loved.”
Steven is the world’s shittiest person.
“With all due respect, sir, I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t think Neil will ever truly be happy and comfortable with his life until you’ve shown him your approval. I haven’t known you long, but I know you love your son and just want what’s best for him. But you’ve got to trust that he can make that decision for himself, not with you.”
“Is that so?” Mr. Perry demands, and Steven is afraid he’s going to punch him or something. But there’s the barest hint of what could be the beginnings of a smile. “Maybe you’re right.”
Relief washes over him as he realizes he may have actually done something to help this family rather than destroy it.
--------------------------------------
He spends most days with Neil, who’s perfectly nice, though he’s a bit hard to get to know, since he’s convinced he’s got amnesia and has forgotten a large part of his life. Once, after a nurse brings him soup, he implores Steven, “Do I like soup?” and Steven has to try very, very hard not to burst out laughing, though the situation isn’t at all funny.
“Just eat it, Neil,” he says instead, and Neil obliges.
“So I missed Christmas, huh?” he asks as he eats.
“Yeah. It was nice. I like your parents.”
Neil raises an eyebrow. “Even my dad?”
“Your dad’s not so bad. I think he’s starting to come around to me.”
“Seriously? Wow. You must be a miracle worker.”
They sit in companionable silence awhile, and Steven thinks that, of all the coma patients to get stuck with, he could have picked a lot worse.
--------------------------------------
Charlie hasn’t at all gone out of Steven’s life, for all that he attempted to vanish. He may not be physically there anymore, but sometimes the memory of him hurts so bad Steven has to lie down and think about anything and everything else to distract himself.
Gerard genuinely pities him, which is a really bad sign. It seems like Christmas dinner with Ginny sure went well, because she’s at Gerard’s apartment almost every day now. Steven says he’s happy for Gerard, and tells him that one of them deserves happily ever after.
Neil’s father genuinely is trying to be more understanding. He does pretty well, some of the time. Other times, though, he’s so flagrantly offensive that Steven has to fight the urge to yell at him and throw PFLAG pamphlets at him.
---------------------------------------------
He’s sitting at Neil’s bedside again, having a pretty nice conversation about local restaurants with Knox and Chris, when Neil says, “Screw it. Let’s get married.”
Everyone--Mr. and Mrs. Perry, the Overstreets, the nurse on duty--falls silent.
“I don’t care if I’m struggling to remember you, if I loved you once, I can love you again, and you already fit in with us so well. Marry me.”
Steven is going to have a stroke or a nervous breakdown and die. He just can’t. He can’t deal with this any longer, it was already out of control, but this is taking things too far.
But then Mrs. Perry gasps, “Oh, yes, that would be lovely, oh Neil!” and she buries her face in his shoulder, hugging him where he lies on the familiar hospital cot. Even Mr. Perry looks dimly pleased.
“All right,” he says at last, and his throat feels like a bird has been clawing at it. “I’ll marry you.”
Why not. He’s already fucked over his entire life. Why do any more damage. He just hopes that Neil doesn’t try to send Charlie a wedding invitation, foolish though the hope may be.
---------------------------------------------
Neil holds onto the crook of Steven’s arm as he turns to leave with everyone else at the end of the day. “Wait.”
Steven waits obediently.
“I just...thank you. For everything. I’ve never seen my parents this happy in my life.” He laughs then, looking sort of amazed. “You know, it was my dad who convinced me to go through with the wedding?”
“Really?” Steven is genuinely shocked.
“Yeah. He stayed to talk to me last night. He told me about how you stood up to him and made him realize he hasn’t been the father he meant to be, and he told me about how great you’ve been to everyone, how much everyone loves you. He told me I’d be a fool to let you get away.”
“Wow. That...that really means a lot, coming from him.”
“You don’t even know.”
“I can guess. But don’t thank me, please. I didn’t do anything.”
“You did everything.”
Ain’t that the truth.
------------------------------------------
So this is really it. Today he will officially sign himself over to hell as The Most Deserving Man to Ever Burn and live with his actions for the rest of his life. He’s going to tell the family and the friends and everyone he’s met and come to know and love that he’s been lying to them all this time and he’s never going to see any of them ever again. This is the end. Game, set, match.
“Don’t be nervous, you look amazing,” Chris is saying as she fixes his jacket. She looks absolutely lovely in her pink dress. He can see why Knox married her.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
“No, thanks for everything. You’ve been so kind to me all this time, from the moment you met me. Far nicer to me than I ever deserved. I’ll never forget it.”
She gives him a strange look, but shakes it off and smiles instead. “You’ve never deserved anything less than I’ve given you.” And she really looks like she means it.
“I don’t know about that," he says, but it’s so soft that she either doesn’t hear him or pretends not to.
----------------------------------------
Steven is going to throw up. He’s never felt so bad in his life as he does right now, about to walk in, call off a wedding, and ruin some lives. Gerard is there with Ginny, for moral support, but it’s a weak consolation.
“All right. Keep your shit together,” he mutters under his breath, steeling himself for what he’s about to do. He pushes open the doors, walks swiftly up the aisle, and says to god and everyone, “I can’t do this. I’m...god, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.”
Everyone looks stunned. Well, everyone except...yeah. At this point he isn’t even surprised to see that Charlie in slouching in the back row, face determinedly blank. That’s just what happens in his life now.
He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes a moment before he can bring himself to say, “I lied to you. To all of you. I was never engaged to Neil. I barely knew him. I work in the train station where Neil got mugged and I saved him after he fell from getting hit by a train. I took him to the hospital, but they wouldn’t let me in to make sure he wasn’t going to like, die or something. And I couldn’t deal with that, and it was Christmas,” he knows he’s babbling, but he just can’t help it anymore. It all comes tumbling out. “And they said only family and close friends were admitted so I told the nurse I was Neil’s fiancé, but it was just so I could check on him, and then I was going to leave, you have to believe me. I know it wasn’t well-thought-out, but I never meant to hurt anyone, god. And especially not now, that I’ve come to know all of you, and I love you all so much, and you,” he looks at Charlie, who looks both pissed and mortified. “You most of all, you impossible asshole, I’m sorry, I know I kind of fucked you over, but I fell in love with you and you left before I could even explain.” He steadies himself, refocusing. Not the time, not the place. “But, please, I know you’re all going to hate me now, and that’s fine, and I don’t blame you, but please don’t let me wreck what you all have going for you now. You’re such amazing people and, shit, Neil, you deserve the world, and I hope everything works out for you.” Neil is actually smiling a little, and he nods at this, so Steven continues. “And...Well, I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry. And...goodbye.”
Walking out of that room is the hardest thing Steven has ever done, but he doesn’t make eye contact with anyone, though he can feel all their gazes on him. He’s not sure he can handle the inevitable betrayal he’ll see in their eyes.
-----------------------------------------------
It’s been three weeks since The-Wedding-That-Wasn’t when his phone rings at seven in the morning. He scrambles to pick it up and sees that it’s Knox. God. He doesn’t want to talk about this, and definitely not this early in the morning, but he owes the man this at the very least, so he answers. “Hello?”
“Hey Steven. Listen, I know it’s really early and all, but I wanted to give you time to get ready. The wedding’s tonight at 4.”
He’s clearly hallucinating. “What? Knox, what are you saying?”
“Neil and Todd’s wedding?” he asks slowly, like Steven’s dumb. “Did Charlie not tell you? God, that bastard. Do you not know what went down after you left?”
“Um...no?”
“Oh god. I should probably do this in person. Where’s your apartment, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.” Against his better judgment, Steven gives him the address and, sure enough, Knox arrives not long after he hangs up.
“Okay, so this is kind of a really ridiculous story-”
“No more ridiculous than what’s already gone down,” Steven reasons.
“You may be right. But this just adds to the chaos, honestly. Anyway, once we all got back to the Perry’s, Neil’s best friend Todd shows up, home from his stupid holiday in wherever Europe, and Neil just gets this look in his eyes and says, ‘Wait a minute, I know why I invited all of you to Christmas dinner,’ and he gets down on one knee and proposes to Todd right there on the sidewalk in broad daylight.”
“Are you serious?” This family is even weirder than Steven had initially thought.
“Totally. And Todd goes ‘Neil, we aren’t even dating,’ in his Todd way and everyone just said ‘Yes you are,’ because seriously, you’ve never seen those two together, but you would definitely think they were soulbonded lifemates.” Steven raises an eyebrow but Knox continues. “And so Todd says yes and they kiss and make up and everything and now they’re getting married this afternoon. Charlie was supposed to invite you but apparently he’s still being a mopey, pining little asshole.”
Steven doesn’t even know where to begin. “And I’m invited to the wedding?”
“Of course you are!”
“Isn’t everybody, like...really mad at me?”
“Of course not! You apologized. It could happen to anyone.” Knox shrugs like Steven hadn’t lied about being engaged to someone for two weeks. “Neil wants you there. And Todd wants to meet you.”
Steven searches for something else to object to. “I can’t imagine Neil’s parents want to see me?”
Knox just laughs, startled. “Are you joking? Mrs. Perry would die if you weren’t there, she loves you. And you’re pretty much the reason Mr. Perry will even be attending the wedding. Steven, I don’t know if this has sunk in yet or not, but you kind of changed their lives.”
He’s going to hyperventilate. Is it actually possible that he hasn’t completely ruined everything? That maybe he’s actually done something good, instead?
“They want me at the wedding?” He clarifies once more.
“I think they’d be more upset if you didn’t come. Chris might never speak to you again.”
“Well, can’t have that.” Knox grins at him, and Steven feels as though he’s finally exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
---------------------------------------------------------
Knox is right--Neil and Todd look ridiculously happy. The ceremony is completely beautiful and adorable and has every woman over the age of 20--and a few men, too--trying to hide loud, honking tears of happiness as they remember to believe in love. Charlie is Neil’s best man, and thus Steven finds it difficult to actually pay attention to the men getting married. Charlie looks incredibly handsome in his tuxedo and Steven wonders if there’s a chance he didn’t fuck that up, either.
Neil and Todd are pronounced married and Neil ducks in and kisses Todd, who’s grinning so widely that Steven can actually hear their teeth clack from where he’s sitting. They chuckle and kiss again, and again, and Charlie groans “Get a room,” and everyone laughs.
Everyone stands to leave to greet the newlyweds, and then to skip out to grab booze for the reception. Steven waits in line, and when he gets to Neil, Neil beams at him and gives him a giant hug, which Steven returns gratefully, the last threads of doubt that he’s welcome here washing away.
“I’m just glad it isn’t me,” Steven deadpans, and Neil laughs, shoving Todd at him.
“Hey Todd, this is Steven the guy I almost married that one time?”
“That was literally three weeks ago,” Todd says, but he's laughing, and Steven’s cheeks hurt from smiling. Their joy is sort of infectious.
He decides he likes Todd, and that Todd and Neil definitely deserve each other--no one else is going to put up with how dumb and cute they both are. He moves on to get a cab, the reception being across town, and manages to snag one in only a few minutes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Knox had promised him alcohol, and Knox had delivered. The reception is fantastic, the din of the room so loud Steven doesn’t have to worry about making small talk with strangers. He congratulates an ecstatic Mrs. Perry, fairly bubbling with pride as she hugs him and pecks him on the cheek as if nothing had ever gone wrong. Mr. Perry comes over and thanks him, which is strange, but he’ll take it, and Chris insists on dancing with him.
“Won’t Knox be jealous?”
“Not hardly, he can deal with it.” She sticks her tongue out at her husband and pulls Steven onto the dance floor, where the most he can say for himself is that he has fun and doesn’t look completely hopeless.
“Mind if I cut in?” Steven’s breath catches as Charlie taps Chris on the shoulder. She grins knowingly and moves away to Knox without another word. Charlie settles his hands on Steven’s waist. “So.”
“So.”
Charlie laughs a little self-deprecatingly. “About that whole ‘I fell in love with you’ thing...” he trails off.
Steven can feel himself go red. Right. That had happened. “Yeah.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Of course I did, Charlie. God, I’m so sor-” but Charlie cuts him off with a press of his lips, and Steven decides this is probably better than talking anyway.
“Marry me.” Steven’s heart jumps.
“What the fuck is with you people and your shotgun marriages, jesus christ.”
“So is that a no, then?”
Steven shakes his head, utterly amused and already so gone on Charlie there’s no point in resisting. “Sure. Why the hell not.” Gerard’s always telling him to live a little.
--------------------------------------
EPILOGUE:
“Todd, can you get that?” Neil yells down the hall as the phone rings somewhere in the depths of their house. Steven shakes his head at him. Same old Neil. Neil turns back to where Charlie's sitting on the couch, Steven on his lap.
“Neil, he’s already making dinner, are you really going to make him do everything?” Charlie asks mildly. It has the desired effect--Neil looks panicked and runs to grab the phone before Todd threatens to leave him or something. Which Todd would never, ever do, but it’s hilarious nonetheless.
“We have stupid friends. We should get new ones,” Steven muses.
“Charlie? A little help?” Todd yells from the kitchen. Steven has noticed that married life for Neil and Todd involves a lot of yelling down halls. Charlie sighs and shoves Steven over on the couch so he can get up, pressing a kiss behind his ear before he leaves.
“Don’t wait up, baby.” Steven rolls his eyes. Charlie’s so...Charlie.
Neil returns to the room a moment later. Apparently the phone call wasn’t an important one.
“So, Steven.” Neil grins. “How’s married life treating you?”
Steven smiles entirely against his will. “Pretty great.”
“Now, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Neil begins thoughtfully. Steven nods for him to continue. “The whole reason you got roped into this family in the first place is because I was attractive and in a train station.” Steven nods again, wondering where this is going. “When did you realize that you were in love with my best friend instead of me, then?”
“Oh, that.” Steven glances up as Charlie walks back into the room, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss Steven’s forehead before deciding to just tumble over the back entirely and land sprawled across Steven’s lap. “That happened while you were sleeping.”