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“When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please, don't hint that you're capable of lies.”
First Date - Blink 182
...
Brooklyn, New York
Mid October, 2001
Going on a blind date was probably the worst idea Natalie could have ever had. To be completely fair, it wasn't her idea, a friend had suggested it. But she listened, she considered it, then she said “fuck it” and chose to try it out. So it was totally her fault.
But there she was, sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant (one her blind date picked, by the way), waiting for a girl to show up. Yes, a girl. Natalie Scatorccio finally came out as bisexual, not too long ago. It was something she'd always known deep down, but she was just lately opening up and accepting that side of herself. The idea of finally dating women stirred a funny and exciting feeling inside of her. Emphasis on dating, a phase she had skipped and gone straight to the sex part a few times already.
She hated to admit that she was nervous, though. Particularly when she considered the fact that she did not know a single thing about the person she was about to meet, except for the fact that her name was Jacqueline and she was from New Jersey. Oh, and that she'd be wearing an all black outfit tonight. Supposedly just enough information to be able to recognize her when she walked in. Nat wished the girl had been more specific, tons of people wore all black all the time, but she was not one to complain.
The name, though… inevitably reminded her of a certain someone (almost celebrity-like) from high school. A certain captain of the soccer team, who she stopped having contact with after graduation. Five years had passed since that. It felt like a lifetime.
But Natalie brushed the memory off. New Jersey was a big state, sure as hell there were tons of Jacquelines. And New York, the place she'd call home for a couple of years now, was just as massive, there was no chance. No connection whatsoever. Plus, that old friend, teammate, acquaintance or whatever, was the personification of “straightness”. There was absolutely nothing to worry about.
She ordered some wine while she waited and took a sip, hoping it would help calm down her anxiety. A few minutes passed, and then a certain figure caught her attention. The sight was foreign but awfully familiar at the same time. The figure, a young woman, was searching for someone, her eyes wandering around the room and then her eyes fixed on Natalie. Her brows furrowed, eyes squinting slightly, and Nat knew damn well she was just mirroring the look on her own face.
Because… what the actual fuck.
The woman's expression relaxed suddenly, she scoffed, shook her head slightly and then her lips curved into a smile, right before striding to Natalie's table.
Nat couldn't believe her eyes. And ironically, the only thing she could do was look. Stare while the woman walked towards her.
Black stilettos clicking on the floor with determination. Toned and tanned legs, (bare, by the way), showing off a couple of tattoos above her knees. A black mini skirt with sparkling silver details hugging her hips. A black crop top with a deep plunging neckline, crossed in the front. And last but not least, a black blazer draped over her shoulders, sleeves effortlessly hanging around her sides. And unless she was an other-worldly creature, she must have been freezing with the chill October air, considering all that naked skin. Yet, it didn’t seem to bother her one bit.
The “all black” was suddenly an unmistakable description.
There was Jackie Taylor, straight out of a magazine, casually walking around like the place was a runway.
“Oh, fuck me.” Natalie thought.
Despite the shock, she couldn't help but smile. What were the odds?
“Natalie… from New Jersey?” the familiar, slightly raspy voice asked once she came to a stop at the table. “I should have asked if you were Italian by any chance.” Jackie joked.
Natalie raised from her seat to greet her. “Nah, you know what? It's my bad. I should have asked if you were prom queen from Wiskayok High.” she joked back and Jackie laughed, then pulled Nat into a hug.
“It's been a while.” Jackie said. A hint of nostalgia in her voice.
The embrace was short but firm, and it gave Natalie flashbacks of the innumerable times they'd done that on the field, clinging to each other right after one of them scored a goal, plenty of time spent together in their formation. The memory was comforting for some reason, and Nat felt like she was actually breathing for the first time that night. Some of the anxiety was finally going away.
They sat down across from each other, so Jackie took the opportunity to slide the blazer off her shoulders, uncovering them, and Natalie couldn't help but notice the great shape they were in. She also spotted a few more tattoos. Her skin was glowing, smooth, and Nat found herself swallowing hard.
Dinner would be long, for sure. A whole lot about this didn't even make sense, and she'd have to ask Jackie fucking Taylor how she ended up there that night.
They ordered some food, some more wine, and fell into easy chit chat after that. Both of them were clearly trying to leave aside the awkwardness that might creep up between them.
It had never been awkward back then, back in high school. And sure, they'd never been the closest, they belonged to different groups, different people. But on the field, they'd always understood each other. And hell, they won nationals together, that had to amount for something.
Nat learned that Jackie had majored in Communications, and was now an assistant at a public relations firm, starting off pretty strong. It suited her, really. If there was anyone who could thrive in a public environment like that, it would be her. Always taking control of the situation, a planner, social, influential. She’d been the team captain for a reason.
Nat also shared how she worked at a record store and played in a band for fun, doing gigs at a local bar. She was surprised that Jackie’s nose didn’t scrunch up at the information, and seemed very genuine when she said it was “soooo cool!”.
“So, you're going on blind dates now?” Jackie asked, a mischievous grin planted on her face. Both their meals finally finished, plates empty.
Nat smiled at that. “I could say the same thing about you, y’know?”
“Alright, but I asked first, so…”
Natalie didn't back down.
“Yeah but, I'm actually very curious about you… I never knew you were…” she trailed off, the word not quite leaving her mouth.
“Gay?” Jackie filled in.
“Yes… how did that happen?” Nat asked, genuinely curious.
“Well, back in high school I didn't exactly know either, but hey, we were on the soccer team, so that was probably the biggest sign.” She said laughing, and Natalie chuckled along, unable to not notice Jackie’s beautiful smile. It was a familiar sight, at least that's how her brain registered it, even though they hadn't seen each other in years. And she knew Jackie Taylor had a pretty smile, she had a pretty everything, it was a given. But the curve of her lips was particularly endearing under the dim lights of the restaurant. Nat cursed herself for letting the thought linger a bit too long.
“But yeah, I think after Jeff's betrayal I started to question absolutely everything in my life, and my sexuality was the first thing I figured out. Realized men just don't do it for me.” she finished, amused. But Nat's attention was stuck at the mention of Jeff.
“Wait. Jeff's betrayal? What do you mean?”
“Oh, didn't you hear? Damn Scatorccio, do you live under a rock?”
Natalie rolled her eyes. “Hey, it's not my fault you have a celebrity complex and you expect everyone to know all the details about your life!” She bit back with amusement in her voice.
“It's not about that,” Jackie smiled despite having been called out. “It was like the biggest gossip ever. I would have been preaching it if I hadn't been involved myself, trust me. I’m pretty sure Mari did the Lord’s work spreading it. Didn't you keep in touch with anyone?”
Nat thought for a second, shaking her head.
“Well, I still talk to Lottie occasionally,” she offered “but she never mentioned anything. Van calls every once in a while, but that never came up either.”
“Okay, that makes sense for Lottie, weird about Van, though.” Jackie replied with a fond, knowing smile. Then sighed. “Anyway, long story short the big gossip was that Jeff fucked Shauna behind my back and got her pregnant.”
Nat furrowed her brows instantly.
“What?!”
“Yeah, you heard me.”
“Shauna? Our Shauna? Midfielder Shauna?”
Jackie chuckled at her disbelief. “Yes, that Shauna, number six, my childhood best friend. Do you know another one?”
“Holy shit. Damn. I'm sorry, Jack. That must have been terrible for you.” Nat replied, unsure of what else to say.
“Well honestly, they did me a favor.” She shrugged it off, but Natalie swore she could spot the tiniest hint of pain on her face, behind the careless facade. “They are married now, and raising a baby, which I find scary. It's crazy how things change in a minute.”
Nat nodded in agreement.
“But that’s just my gay origin story,” Jackie picked up the conversation “let’s hear yours!”
Natalie looked away for a second to think about it.
“Oh, there was no big realization, really. To be honest, very deep down, I think I always knew. I mean, I like men too, I just – I think women are pretty fucking awesome.”
“Yeah, we are.” Jackie agreed and then leaned back on her seat, crossing her arms in front of her. Gaze fixed on Natalie.
They fell silent all of a sudden, but Nat could feel Jackie's intense stare scrutinizing her. Probably taking it all in and judging every inch of her, from her outfit, to her make up.
“The brown hair really suits you.” Jackie said. “I mean, I know you're naturally a brunette, but you know, it just fits.”
The compliment caught her off guard completely, but mostly, the palpable sincerity of the words. It wasn't a big statement, it was pretty simple, actually, a small comment. And somehow, it managed to make her face heat up instantly. Weird.
“Alright, Scatorccio,” Jackie started again, before she got the chance to say thank you, not letting the silence get any deeper. Grinning wide and rubbing her hands together in mischief. “Let's get down to business, shall we?”
Natalie tilted her head in confusion.
“What is it you’re looking for? Why are you here tonight?” The woman clarified.
“Oh, that…”
Natalie had to stop and think about it. What was she even looking for? Going into the whole blind date thing? What was the purpose? She had been expecting to see a lovely girl show up, a brand new face, introduce herself, flirt, get to know her a bit, test the chemistry. See if they could hit it off. Getting laid, maybe? If she got lucky. She shaved everywhere, after all.
But the moment she saw Jackie Taylor entering the restaurant, all those expectations crumbled, for some reason. And she was suddenly just having dinner, reuniting and catching up with an old friend, an old teammate. She had not stopped to think for a second that Jackie probably had similar expectations about this, about the date (because it was a date). And she knew exactly why her expectations had gone away: because picturing herself, Natalie Scatorccio (high school burnout and currently loser New York citizen), having a fancy dinner and shamelessly flirting with Jackie Taylor (soccer team captain, high school prom queen, and remarkable New York citizen now), was impossible.
It was something so far out of reality, that never in a million years, Natalie would have even fantasized about it, something that would have never come to her mind, not even in her wildest dreams. And truth be told, she liked Jackie, always had. Just not in that way… maybe?
Jackie still waited patiently for an answer, those big hazel eyes fixed on Natalie, and so she decided to just be honest, as she'd always been.
“Well, to be fair, I was simply expecting to have dinner with a pretty girl and flirt around all night. Get to know her, nothing much.”
Jackie squinted.
“Am I not pretty enough? Is that why you haven't flirted with me at all?” Jackie asked, clutching her chest in feigned hurt. But Natalie still panicked.
“What–” she replied startled. “No, come on it's not that, Taylor. You look amazing.”
Yeah, that was probably a bit too honest. But Jackie smiled and the sight was almost hypnotizing.
“Thank you. You look great too, I must say.”
Natalie didn't expect a compliment back and it caught her off guard again. Jackie leaned in slightly to the table, as if it would somehow close the distance between them, and Nat's eyes darted effortlessly to Jackie's dangerous neckline. A big part of her chest was simply uncovered, and her top, which crossed around her ribs, wrapped around her breasts just perfectly. Catching her breath, Nat wondered what it would feel like to run her fingers along that smooth, exposed skin. She wondered how warm it would feel. And so her heart started racing as a result.
“You know my eyes are not down there, right, Scatorccio?”
Fuck, of course she'd call her out. But Nat just smirked and decided to accept whatever fate this was. Whatever higher power had orchestrated this funny little meet up, knew that this could be fun, so why should she hold back?
“I am aware, Jack. I was hoping to get a peek at something else.”
Jackie's grin widened and she looked down, shaking her head in amusement, but Nat could easily catch the way her cheeks flushed. And damn, it was fucking adorable.
“We could go back to my apartment, you know…” Jackie said “I mean, just for drinks, of course. Just to keep chatting, if you want.” She added quickly.
“That's funny, Taylor. I just said I'd want to take a better look at your boobs, and you wanna take me to your place immediately?” Nat found herself saying, pulling off her best cocky grin.
“Well damn, Nat, I can't just flash you in public!” Jackie replied with a sly smirk, lowering her voice and the thought set Natalie on fire.
They'd just had dinner, but she was starting to feel hungry again.
“What would you like? I got red wine, whiskey… some tequila too, if that's your vibe…” Jackie asked while Nat settled on the couch.
“Oh, uh… same as you. Whatever you choose is fine.”
“More wine it is.” Jackie announced and then disappeared into the kitchen.
Jackie's place was huge. Well not huge exactly, but still fairly big, particularly in comparison with Nat's tiny room. The fact that Jackie had all that space just for herself was sort of unbelievable, but it made sense. The Taylors were rich people, that much was clear. The dark blonde entered the living room again, this time with two glasses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Settled them on the coffee table and poured some wine into the glasses, then handed one of them to Natalie.
“You got a very nice place, Jack. You own it?”
“Thank you.” Jackie said “It's mine, yeah. I had to beg my dad to buy it for me behind my mom's back, after she kicked me out. I'm kinda lucky he actually took pity on me.”
“What do you mean your mom kicked you out?” Natalie asked, surprised.
“Yes, when I came out to my parents. I told them I liked girls, and they kicked me out. It's kind of a long story… or not, I guess. It just happened, and I had to move on.” She shrugged. “I haven't talked to them in ages. Them, as in, both of them together. My dad checks up on me every once in a while. He bought the apartment for me and still sends money here and there, but that’s it.”
Natalie didn’t quite know what to say to that. The Jackie she had known years ago had it all. She had amazing grades at school, she was popular, successful at the soccer team, she had the perfect boyfriend, the perfect best friend, and amazing, rich parents. Her life was basically everything a teenager could ever dream of, it was perfect. But it turns out that it wasn’t as good as it seemed. And Jackie was now left with nothing. There was no one by her side. And the thought of it made Natalie’s heart drop.
Nat was completely sure that if something like that had ever happened to her, she would have gone completely insane. She’d never had much to lose. But the concept of having absolutely everything and then having it taken away from you, like you’re suddenly undeserving of it all, sounded like a very cruel fate.
What really surprised her, though. Was how completely unbothered Jackie seemed by it. There was no shame in her voice when she explained it, only a small trace of vague disappointment. Her body language was calm. She was already settled on the couch, next to Nat, just an arm’s distance between them. She sat turned to her side, being able to see directly at Natalie that way, and so she mirrored her position.
Her characteristic confidence was still right there. In the way she talked, the way she moved, the way she was present, giving her full attention to Natalie. The way she always had things under control, the way she always seemed to know how to get what she wanted. So yeah, Nat was looking directly at the same Jackie she knew, just a lot more gay and… lonely, unfortunately. But for some reason, she was happy to be there.
The conversation flowed smoothly after that, jumping from one thing to another. From one member of the Yellowjackets to another. Apparently Jackie knew a lot of stuff about them and still kept in touch with a bunch of them. Mari, Tai, Van, Lottie, even Misty… By the time Natalie dared take a look at the clock, it was already midnight and the bottle of wine was empty.
“We should do a reunion soon though, I’m sure they’d be happy to see you.” Jackie said.
“Just as happy as you are right now?” she asked, the wine making her feel giddy.
“No.” Jackie shook her head and smirked. “I'm so far ahead, I'm the clear winner here. I just had a date with the beautiful Natalie Scatorccio.”
There it was. Natalie could feel her face burning. Victim once again of Jackie Taylor's easy charm. Although the wine had certainly contributed as well.
“Oh yeah? You think I'm beautiful?” She asked before actually thinking about the question, and was suddenly aware of how dangerously close they were. At some point the distance between them became basically non-existent. They were now sitting face to face, knees brushing together. The realization didn't do anything to ease the heat creeping up into Natalie's body.
“I've always thought you are.” Jackie replied, maybe too quickly, which meant she was being one hundred percent honest about it. “There's always been plenty of things about you that I find attractive. Is it safe to admit now that I might have had a teeny tiny crush on you?”
Natalie couldn't help but laugh out loud.
“You’re kidding.” Nat said while shaking her head.
“What? No! Why would I lie about that?”
“I don’t know, to get in my pants, probably?”
Jackie’s expression darkened with something that, in the moment, was hard to decipher. A mixture of surprise and lust. But then she leaned in, invading Natalie’s space, her mouth now extremely close to Nat’s ear as she whispered, “I don’t think I need to lie for that.”
The tone of her voice was a tad lower, the slight raspiness sent shivers all through Nat's body and she felt herself freeze all of a sudden, entranced by the sight of Jackie Taylor only inches apart from her. Those big hazel eyes looking right through her. Those full lips, slightly parted and curved upwards, still glossy somehow, and so inviting. Natalie could feel her heart hammering in her chest, could feel a sweet throbbing ache between her legs.
Already intoxicated by Jackie's atmosphere, she knew there was nothing else to do but surrender, and so she did. Her hand reached out for Jackie's face and finally closed the distance, kissing her. It was a soft movement at first, sweet, even. But then she felt Jackie kiss back with unexpected ferocity, and Nat knew they were both too far gone at that point.
Natalie deepened the kiss, tracing Jackie's lips with her tongue before going into her mouth. She heard Jackie moan, and the sound was so delightful that Nat could feel her own descent into madness.
They had to pull apart at some point, but looking at Jackie like that, with swollen lips and heavy breathing, did nothing to ease the pounding in her chest. Nat blinked for a second and the next thing she knew was she had Jackie on her lap, straddling her. She dared look down just to find beautiful thighs closing around her hips. Jackie's mini skirt was hitched up and Nat could see her white panties from that angle, making contrast with the black fabric of the skirt. Her heart skipped a beat.
She dared to touch, then. Pale, slim hands ran along smooth, tanned thighs and the sensation was magical. Nat's hands settled on her hips when Jackie leaned down to kiss her again. Once, twice, before pulling apart to undo her top. She slid the piece of fabric right off with practiced ease.
“You said you wanted a better look at them.” Jackie offered in a playful tone. Natalie let out a shaky breath she didn't even know she was holding, and swallowed hard at the sight of Jackie's naked chest.
“God, Jackie.” She breathed out, and reached for her tits, delicately tracing her fingers along the silky skin and using both hands to cup them, daring to touch her already hard nipples. She felt Jackie catch a breath at the contact and Natalie smiled, looking up to meet her eyes. “Are you gonna let me get a taste too?” she asked, almost pleading.
Jackie could only nod in response, so Nat wrapped an arm around her waist, holding onto her as she feasted. Squeezing soft breasts with her free hand and letting her mouth do the rest. All kinds of sounds came out of Jackie’s lips, until Natalie heard her name being moaned out, and the growing hunger she felt in her stomach spread all through her body. She could feel Jackie’s heat on herself, their bodies vibrating with a deep craving.
Their eyes met again.
“Please, Nat. Touch me.” Jackie begged.
She grabbed Nat’s free palm and placed it on her bare sternum, slowly dragged it down her stomach and then below, until it got lost between her legs. Natalie’s fingers gently grazed the fabric of her underwear and her breath hitched at the sudden warmth. It was a complete mess, Jackie was helplessly melting. Nat couldn't resist the urge to tease her.
“Fuck, Taylor. Are you really this wet for me?” she panted, as a devilish grin formed on her face.
Her fingers started to work slowly, very carefully rubbing up and down through the fabric, and Natalie could feel the wet spot growing. Jackie leaned in to kiss her again, although “kiss” was an understatement. She pushed Natalie hard against the back rest of the couch and devoured her lips. At the same time, her hips started to grind on Nat’s fingers, desperately seeking the friction.
“You’re driving me insane, Scatorccio.” Jackie whimpered between kisses, only leaving Nat’s mouth to kiss her jawline and bite down on her neck, making Natalie’s skin tingle, setting her body on fire. Her teeth would be leaving marks there. Nat didn’t care at all. She was one hundred percent sure her own panties were a total mess.
When she finally decided to give Jackie what she wanted, Nat pulled the fabric to the side and dipped her fingers in. Hips started moving faster, urgency clear in the swiftness of her motions. The room filled with a symphony of whimpers as Jackie cried out and ultimately buried her face in the crook of Nat’s neck as she went over the edge.
Nat felt Jackie’s body collapse all over her, completely undone, trembling slightly and trying to recover her breathing, so she held her. Instinctively put her arms around her and gently rubbed her back until Jackie was able to speak again.
“I can’t believe you still have all your clothes on.” Taylor mumbled on Nat’s neck (and it tickled), still unable to move a muscle.
The complaint made Natalie laugh out loud, the sound echoing in the room.
“In my defense, it's not my fault you were so desperate to ride my fingers.”
The comeback made Jackie laugh. The raspy and playful sound was loud and clear. Has her laugh always been so endearing?
“Oh, fuck off.” Jackie groaned and kissed her again.
The morning light seeping through the window was the one thing that woke Natalie up. Her eyes fluttered open and she needed an extra second to figure out where exactly she was. But then, that unmistakable scent hit her, that mixture of jasmine and tangerine lingering in the sheets she was laying on top of, in the pillow her head was resting on, a faint trace of vanilla invading her senses. That scent that lingered in the air of Jackie Taylor's bedroom.
She blinked a few times until she was wide awake and noticed how terribly naked she was under the covers. The other side of the bed was empty, but she could still hear faint noises coming from outside the bedroom walls.
Natalie let out a heavy sigh as the events of the previous night dawned on her. The casual date, the fancy dinner, the drinks, the sex. And the common denominator: Jackie Taylor.
Fucking unbelievable.
Nat rubbed her eyes and forced herself to sit up on the bed, before fully standing up, scanning the room in search for any piece of clothing that belonged to her, but found nothing.
“Fuck’s sake, Natalie.” She cursed herself quietly and brought a hand up to her forehead, as if that would help her think of a way to magically gather all her clothes and dress back up. Anything to avoid the embarrassment of stepping out of that bedroom completely naked, or even worse, with Jackie's white bedsheets wrapped around her, as if she were an ancient Greek philosopher.
She was debating the option of opening a drawer and stealing a T-shirt (that would do the job), when the room's door swung open and revealed Jackie standing by the doorframe, then entering like it was second nature.
“Oh– wow. Uh… I'm sorry, I– I thought you were still sleeping.” Jackie explained after freezing for a second. Her eyes lowered to the floor, then went to the window, then to the ceiling, but inevitably, they flickered back to Nat’s body on full display.
Natalie crossed her arms in an attempt to cover something. During a regular hook up situation, she wouldn't have minded being caught like that, she would have just laughed it off, maybe actually teased a little, even. But there was something about Jackie that made her hyper aware of everything, she could feel her face burning, and it didn't happen often. However at that point, after meeting up with Jackie, it had happened more times than she could count.
They stood there, just staring at each other for a few moments that felt never ending. Jackie was already fully clothed, very clearly ready for her day to start, and she looked effortlessly gorgeous. Not that it was news, though. That much was one thing about Jackie that Natalie had always acknowledged, back in high school. But for some strange reason, the change of setting they were caught up in, made Nat unable to shake that thought off.
“I just wanted to leave these here for you.” Jackie broke the silence again, that's when Nat noticed the small pile of neatly folded clothes she was holding in her arms. She stepped towards the bed and placed them there. “Mind you, finding these felt like being Indiana Jones in ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’, a whole ass workout.”
Nat couldn't help but smile. She awkwardly moved around to sit on the edge of the bed. “Thank you.”
Jackie then sighed, put her hands on her hips and shot a stern glare at Natalie. “You know we had sex last night, right? I saw every corner of your body, you don't have to be doing all that…” she spat gesturing vaguely with her hand at where Natalie's arms were still wrapped around herself. An amused expression painted on her face. A cocky grin and playful eyes.
Nat couldn't quite believe she was hearing those words come from Jackie Taylor, out of all people. Maybe the whole thing was just a dream? But then again… the craziest part of the situation, the craziest possible outcome from that date, had already happened, so what harm would a little more banter do? She could totally swallow up the embarrassment that crept up on her just a few moments ago, after all.
“Listen, Jackie,” she started, voice lower and huskier than she expected. “If you wanna take a look at my tits again, all you have to do is ask nicely.” Nat closed the statement by finally letting her arms drop and leaned back a little on the mattress.
Jackie’s eyes widened, suddenly looking bigger than Nat had ever seen them, and her jaw dropped a little, before a devilish side smirk appeared on her face. She rolled her eyes and scoffed, as if annoyed by the fact that her true intentions had been exposed. She just stared for a few seconds, clearly taking it all in, and Natalie could feel her nipples hardening under the chill atmosphere and Jackie’s intense gaze. Nat decided to break the girl’s trance.
“Hey, you can take a picture if you want… save it for later –”
“Jesus Christ, Scatorccio!” Jackie yelped and her face turned bright red.
“Well, you can’t just stand there all day.”
“Exactly, I can’t. I have a meeting in an hour and you’re distracting me!”
“Well how is that my fault?!” Natalie fought back, and couldn’t help but laugh at Jackie’s flustered exasperation.
Jackie buried her face in her palms at the risk of ruining her make up and let out a long sigh.
“For both our sakes, just get dressed. I made breakfast,” she said in a blur while storming out of the bedroom. “Eggs and bacon sound good?”
Breakfast went by a bit too quickly, and for Natalie the situation was still bizarre. Had she ever stayed for breakfast the morning after a hook up? No. Even weirder, no one had ever cooked breakfast for her, not even her mom. Not as far as she could remember, anyway. Setting the cereal box on the table or heating up pop tarts certainly didn't count as cooking. If Natalie wanted a proper meal in the mornings, she had to make it herself. If there was anything in the fridge that she could work with, anyway.
Nat was a little bit surprised that Jackie could cook. Not that she'd say it out loud, of course. But it was very obvious that the girl grew up in a household where a rich breakfast was served every morning, without having to move a finger. However it was very clear that Jackie's situation was not the same anymore. The days of living in the safety of her parents' house were long gone. Life had forced her to do things all by herself, all alone. It surely had not been easy.
They eventually stepped out of Jackie's apartment together and walked side by side on the busy sidewalk for a while. The city streets were alive, vibrating around them. Hurried people, cars honking… but as they walked, Natalie felt like she didn't quite want to reach the end of the block, didn't quite want to part ways, for reasons unknown. For a second, that made her nervous.
Neither of them were saying much, but the silence was not uncomfortable. Natalie kept sneaking glances at Jackie, hoping she wasn't being too obvious about it. They stopped at a crosswalk, finally reaching the point where they'd have to split.
“Will I see you again?” Natalie blurted out, unable to keep the question in anymore.
Jackie seemed taken aback by it. She took a second to try and read Nat's face before replying.
“You know, something gave me the impression that this would be casual…”
Nat's heart dropped, and she didn't know exactly why. She didn't know why she wanted so badly to hear Jackie say ‘yes’ without second thoughts. Didn't know why she was shaking with anticipation about seeing those big hazel eyes again, even though they were still right in front of her.
Nat couldn't form a response immediately, her wits failing her for a minute, and she cursed herself for being so open in front of the old Wiskayok High’s queen bee, suddenly feeling like she was in high school again. What was she thinking anyway? Jackie had always been so out of her league, and would always be. Whether Jackie Taylor was straight or not, that didn't change a thing. Of course the night before wouldn't mean anything to Jackie, of course it shouldn’t mean anything to Nat either.
Natalie's face must have reflected her disappointment and Jackie must have been great at reading it because she spoke again.
“Wait–” she said, “I don't mean that, I'm just kidding. Jesus. I'm sorry…” Jackie trailed off and Nat's heart started beating once more. “I'd love to see you again.”
Jackie's smile was shy, but still warm and bright as usual, and it made some of Nat's tension go away.
“Jeez, Taylor. You're playing me already?” She laughed, trying to keep it cool, acting like Jackie hadn't been able to read her right then and there. Like the little joke hadn't stung at all for a hot second.
“Playing? This isn't soccer, Scatorccio,” she smirked.
The girl opened her purse and took a pen out, then grabbed Natalie's wrist and wrote down a series of numbers on the inside of her arm.
Nat really had to act like her wrist wasn't on fucking fire.
“Just call me, will you? I really gotta go now, or else I'll be late.”
Jackie looked right at her and leaned in to plant a kiss on Natalie's cheek. It was calculated, it was intentional, and she probably had done it to a hundred other people before, but Natalie's stomach fluttered and from her lips escaped a giggle.
What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?!
Jackie caught it and her smile widened, but didn't mention it.
“I'll call ya.” Nat replied after what felt like an hour, while Jackie was already walking backwards towards the corner, still looking at her, a smile still on her lips.
Natalie just stood there, watching her disappear into the crowd. She chuckled softly and she could imagine how much of an idiot she probably looked like. But at least she had Jackie's number written on her skin, and she had Jackie's kiss lingering on her cheek.
“Holy shit.”
She made a mental note on what to expect if she ever went on a blind date again.