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To feel, to not feel — at the same time, he couldn't feel anything besides the nullification of everything. Even in such a contradictory statement, he understood that perfectly. Without hands or feet, without legs or arms, headless — not even close to death, since such would require flesh. Or actually, maybe it's not the case at all. How can he feel it necessary to own a body of his own if he doesn't remember owning one? — Or even, such thoughts, where did they come from anyway? A baseless desire — that, he understood.
But, this time, he received a gift. Maybe for getting closer to her, maybe a reward for doing well in his path — for something he doesn't exactly remember. Thus, within, he could grasp the idea of 'Gift'; therefore, now with hands, he was happy — so happy indeed, with his face he could only smile with teeth. Being gracious and understanding that the gift he received was for doing well, not for himself — that was not the plan at all. After being granted the gentlest of 'hold' and 'touch' with his new hands, surely that could mean just one thing.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
Receiving the permission of touching her.
How could he refuse? Far from that — absolutely wrong. That's wrong — wrong idea, incorrect, invalid, unfit, without validation, inconsiderate, negative, ungrateful, miserable, purposeless.
By being granted hands, touching her was the only answer. Anything more than that is banal. After asking for so much from her, being helped in such ways he couldn't ever pay back, who was he to think that the hands he was gifted were meant for anything less than that? — Natsuki Subaru understood that perfectly. He tried so hard, putting so much faith into her, calling her name, screaming her name, asking for help, anything to surpass that cruel soldier, Todd — he was answered, and granted, once again, mercy. Those childish hands of his, those childish legs of his, everything, his own 'Object of Ownership,' his very own body —
Could be nothing more than a lie.
Since Subaru Natsuki knows who truly owns him.
Satella, the Witch of Envy.
Saved by her, being chosen by her, being loved by her, being answered by her.
Oh, such feeling — what can he say? Even though his heart was filled with both Emilia's and Rem's smiles, just the mere touch of his owner made him tremble. How could he not? How could it be possible that he doesn't? Such everlasting love — even in the hardest, most violent situations, there she was. From the beginning to the current point, she never once let go of his hand.
"I love you" — "Yes, I know, I love you too."
"I love you" — "I do, I truly do, I love you too."
"I love you" — "I share the same feeling, I love you."
"I love you" — "How could I not? I love you."
"I love you" — "I am grateful, I love you."
"I love you" — "I love you."
At first, he held her — nothing but darkness, impossible to see anything but her. He held, and held, and held her — hugging, smelling, anything he could do to get more of Satella into Natsuki Subaru. Oh, such love. Such everlasting, impossible-to-not-be-grateful love. Closing his arms against her waist — such a soft one, too — he felt his head resting against her chest.
"I love you"
"I know, I do too. What I can't do with words... I shall do with touch."
Oh, how happy Subaru Natsuki is. Being able, getting permission, being an Object of Ownership of hers… Asking… And being answered — accepted, and well — loved. Without asking, being loved; without deserving it, that gift of being 'Owned' truly filled his heart to the brim. Even in his childish heart, where his little hands almost couldn't embrace her truly — but, in truth, this was the best moment in his eighteen years. Never had such feeling filled his heart; no warmth could compare to the mere touch. Maybe he could say Satella is his mistress, but that wouldn't do — wouldn't ever, ever do. Object of Ownership, that's what he truly is. Having an enormous ego to save his friends, being granted such capabilities — even though it hurts so much to die, that mere chance, that little, short-lived event where Subaru Natsuki visits her garden… Even in some deaths, even though he hates dying so much — that little moment of being graced, touched, absorbed, talked to, and warmed through her love, makes it seem worth it. Witch of Envy, Satella… Foolish he once was to deny that heart-filling feeling.
So to consider her to be his 'Mistress' was also foolish; to consider her to be his 'Love' was also not truly fitting for what this truly is about. Indisputably, maybe it was when — well — he was talked down to in the Witches' Tea Party: "You gave me so many things… That's why I love you. Because you… you gave me everything." Natsuki Subaru is unable to remember what he did, but he is truly satisfied with his past self to have been able to fill her heart — he already knew, understood, and said it many times.
Natsuki Subaru, Knight of Emilia, Defeater of Two Great Beasts, Trusted by Julius — The Greatest Knight, Hero of Rem, and most importantly of them all, The Object of Ownership — Of the Witch of Envy, Satella. Unable to even question, unable to even think, unable to even doubt, unable to even imagine being something else than that — that everlasting, perfectly fit love for his sinful heart.
He once sinned by yelling at her; he once sinned by refusing her; he once sinned by not accepting her. Now, Natsuki Subaru understands that his owner, Satella, never once let him down. Not when he screamed he preferred Echidna over her — such foolish wording. Not even when Rem declared her love, nor that he suggested running away with her; not when he kissed Emilia — and his numerous confessions towards her. Satella is truly patient, and he, Natsuki Subaru, is grateful.
Her silk-white skin, her soft touch, that possessive hold in such smoothing onto his small child body — Subaru wanted more. Wanted to have his bigger hands, his strong arms, to at least replicate what he was feeling — that overwhelming pressure, which he could only wish to be able to replicate. Hugged, touched, explored — that envious touch to mark Ownership… First, he felt her arms getting deeper and deeper into his insides; Satella smeared her slender finger through his heart, not pressing with malice like she does to punish him for talking too much — something so inhuman that makes Subaru feel special. Might even be Satella's special ownership.
Driven by faded-out memories in his small child brain, he could tell — not by words — that something truly remarkable was happening to him. Not like the other times, where she couldn't get much closer — or even, just a straight-up full halt. Now, after hammering down against the Gladiator Island, even by being her mere shadows — that sealed flesh of Satella — even in such context, that small scope of what Satella truly is, he could only wish for more. More of hers, more of the Witch, more of her disgusting miasma, more of her terrible love, more of her obsession, more of her envy — more of the everlasting evil that lies in her heart, he can only — and will only — desire for that. Anything that she, Satella, the Witch of Envy, can provide — he wants.
More "I love you"
"I love you" — More, Satella, please.
"I love you I love you I love you I love— " More! Please! More, more, more! "I love you."
Oh! My— My heart trembles. That's probably Petelgeuse messing with me — no — that's me! My love, my very own love — I accept that, Satella. Thank you. Maybe I should be more like Regulus, Greed. He could only wish to have a greed closer to his — maybe that could be the starting point of being able to truly receive her gifts. Now that her slender shadow fingers cross through my organs, touching, poking, smearing them — ah, love, that's what it is, correct? Correct, indeed, I can suppose — like my beloved Beatrice, I suppose.
By being a spirit, I think she understands the point of being loyal; then she understands why I am loyal to the Witch of Envy. I mean, she is still loyal to Echidna after all. The more I think about that, the more I see truly — me and Beatrice were made for each other.
Maybe, just maybe, maybe — or even, not really maybe, that's just something that I am saying to myself— Ugh! Hghnm, oh, such, such feeling it is — she truly bit down on my smallish neck. That hurts a little — hurts so much that it bleeds, hurts so much that it makes me want to cry — sob, and, well, hug her waist even harder. That's like that serpent — Ouroboros, the name, I guess. Providing is to get, receiving is to give; providing is to get, receiving is to gift. Receiving is a gift — a gift of hers, hers of mine, mine — mine which is not truly my own, a mere 'term' without basis, since I — which is Natsuki Subaru — know that 'She' — Satella — owns me.
My heart — 'Bapum Bapum Bapum!' — so hard. It's not like I was screaming, yelling, yearning for her a few moments ago — moments? Probably. I don't know how much time has passed since she crushed down the Gladiator Island. I want more — make it hurt, Satella, make it mark, make it — do it, will you? You will, won't you? When I was still in school, I used to write my name on my things — clothes, cups, the damned cup… Well, you know, when you own— Ughnm! —That one struck deep! —Thanks! He felt his blood gushing down onto her chest, that bite breaking through his neck, picking a small portion of his flesh — all that by her unbelievably sharp teeth. By the means she used, Subaru is happy that he is probably the first to be with this beautiful woman — even though he was, at this moment, a child with this little body that the damned Shinobi provided.
His gift — he hates it. Hate is unforgivable — made he is, that such an old, boring, foolish, disgusting, brutish, unfit-for-any-kind-of-love man made his dear Satella lose track of her Object of Ownership. How could he? How could he? How could… him!? That disgusting, foolish, prick, invalid, unloved Shinobi — making his dear Satella unable to find him for so long — long enough to make her more envious of him. Oh, how could he be mad? That might be a grace — no? — since she deepens into his body because of the exact reason he hates. 'Mad' and 'Hate' are truly different — not related at all; therefore, at the Shinobi, I cannot be mad at him, I suppose.
I hate it — hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate — hate so much, grinding his teeth hard enough to hear them shatter a little — but, by — oh, that kind heart — the Witch of Envy, Satella, kissed him — deeply. Her tongue penetrated against his own, a force that made him gag — just a little, because within a few seconds, he submitted himself. At this point, more than her warm hands, there were the other — probably twenty — shadow hands on his face, legs, arms, belly, feet, and her hands? The precious silk-white, warm, and soft hands? On his neck. Kissing, kissing and kissing, licking — closer to an animal than anything more. But that's perfect; he is exactly where he wants to be. To begin to understand, to begin to feel, to begin to accept — not only himself, but her as his owner.
"I love you"
She said, gushing down my gruesome red.
"I love you"
It fills his heart so much — so, so much.
"I love you"
I do too — continue, please.
"I love you"
Oh, that fills it to the brim, doesn't it?
I do, I do, I do! Please continue — even though I can't properly give it back to you — your dearest love from your dearest Object of Ownership — Natsuki Subaru, Knight of Emilia, Hero of Lugunica and Rem. And, well, most importantly, as you know, your ownership. I don't know how many times I have repeated myself, but please, Satella, do as you wish — your desire is also mine to have.
Those words were enough to make her presses even deeper. Different from the other times — we weren't in her Shadow Garden. That's her, her physical body, against my flesh one, in the middle of the grass camp — upon the now-destroyed Gladiator Island — maybe even the rest of the world, too. I hope not so much, because if it reaches Lugunica, Reinhardt would ruin this precious moment between me and her — or would Reinhardt permit us this intimate moment? I mean, we are friends, aren't we? Therefore—
Squeeze — She pressed my intestines so hard within her hands, making me wonder if that pain is enough to make me pass out — or building more of that sinful pleasure that only she can do to me.
Stopping to think about it — is it Satella? Or is it the Witch of Envy? Actually — are they both…? Who—
Curls — the teeth penetrated my arm, putting an inhuman amount of force — maybe Garfiel could pull this off — a force that could rip my arm off just by mere desire. Opening my skin, tracing the tongue along the muscle fibers — that small segment where the fat and fibers meet. That hurts.
That hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts
That hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts
That hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts
That hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts
That hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts that hurts
"Uraaa! Uh-uuh!! Bluuh!" Subaru Natsuki screams in pain, his childish voice breaking down in sobs as he cries loudly — his everlasting love for her could not hide the insanity of what he's feeling. Shaking his arms around, his legs trembling — even kicking, something breaking his thoughts little by little. Even with his adult brain, the body of a child could only bring a pain so gruesome that he was unable to properly receive her love.
"It hurts! — It hurts, S-Satella!"
And — she did stop. The shadow hands caressed his heart; her warm hands caressed his face. And—
Subaru still cried, sobbed, and hugged her waist again, his face pressing strongly against her soft chest. "uUh! Uhha buh!" Caressing softly, his half-open mouth smoothing gently against her silk-white skin. Like a child returning to a mother, a small sense of depravity — or even, within his newly mixed feelings from his old memories, at the same time with this new frame — even if he didn't say or mention it, Natsuki Subaru does miss his mother.
Kissing, cheering — the half-open lips brought closer by his own instincts, caressing the pinkish nipples he began. Something deeply curled upon his own heart — like that was the missing piece, even though he doesn't know exactly what — maybe something deep in his very own nature, as a man? Or, as Natsuki Subaru? By being an Object of Ownership, being dependent on his owner as a mere addition to this relationship.
Being filled to the brim was something he could not exactly express why. He felt, even if he — and does — continue to love Rem or Emilia, this feeling that Satella provides fills a certain gap in his heart that makes him truly complete. He was broken many and numerous times — by cruelty in his deaths, or words that made his world shatter — as, for example, when Amnesia Rem said those deeply cutting words:
"You're no hero, nor are you something special."
Remembering that hurts so much.
But at the same time, it created a fixed point of comparison against his owner — Satella, the Witch of Envy.
Even in disgrace, even in misery, she never truly hurt him without purpose. How could he be able to refuse, if this fills his heart so well?
He ended up biting down too hard, enough to feel iron start to taste in his mouth, but — Satella only answered with a softly given pat on his curled black hair.
At that exact moment, Subaru Natsuki understood what Rem meant: that he is, and shall be, and can only be — Satella's Object of Ownership. He is unable to be a Hero, unable to save anyone he truly loves; therefore, that is the gap that the unpressed love of his owner fills.
Sobbing once again, his sclera turned softly red within the tears — this time, but not from pain. The stress — unbelievable, heavy stress — the last time he could pour his heart out so hard… Actually, he never had the proper chance. He pours and pours; he poured before — but never with a place to receive his tears and desires fully. By being a 'man' and needing 'filling' in his 'heart,' Natsuki Subaru is able to relax into the arms of the Witch.
Not like when he broke down on Emilia's lap pillow.
Not like when he fought with her at the Castle, carried by his ego.
Not like when Rem poured her feelings toward him.
Not like when he confessed his Return By Death to Echidna.
None of those situations made him more comfortable than now — strangely, sucking on the nipples of the Witch of Envy, Satella. She hugs him so well, caresses his hair so well—
"I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you"
"I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you"
"I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you"
"I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you" "I love you"
He could grasp exactly who he's talking to. But the warmth of the touch is surely Satella's, yet the voice? — That's the Witch of Envy's. What a greedy heart, that can only be filled by two women — such a thought made him chuckle a little. Numerous hands — both Satella's and the Witch of Envy's — filling, touching, caressing. Taking care — that's the whole point.
Taking care of him. Such deep care that makes Subaru smile softly at the corners of his mouth. Dearly so, both women touched him on the outside and inside; sometimes Satella explored his organs, other times the Witch of Envy marked his skin — caressing, taking care, giving only comfort. He shouldn't feel such — shouldn't, never, actually — but to his heart, it was like he was truly a child again, in some corrupted way. So wrong, in fact, that if he was permitted by his owner to talk about his Return By Death, he would definitely omit this situation entirely. The witches — both of them — shared a deep kiss with his small lips. They acted as predators against a small animal, cornering him against the ground, only to predate his mouth like the freshest, tastiest meat.
One of the witches lifted up his arms, pushing them back above his head, exposing the pale stomach beneath the small clothes. Maybe it was four or six hands, each one on a small segment of both arms, holding so softly — even though she does this, he would do it by himself.
"Be gentle — this body is too soft, Witch of Envy and Satella." He asked, and — even without an answer — he knows that they heard.
The warm hands kissed his face one last time before both of them got to work. Who would have expected that a pair of girls that — at minimum, for four hundred years — didn't get any physical touch at all, would get so urgent for a little boy? It started too fast. Subaru himself was a virgin, but at least he would get a lot of physical attention; but the Witch of Envy and Satella? None.
They got onto his chest, belly, arms, hands, feet, legs — everywhere they could touch, they touched. Kissing, licking, caressing — softly, harder sometimes. Sometimes, Satella would just let her saliva drop down against the skin, then lick it — kind of like a dog. But, even in his little eyes, that was one hell of a body.
He thought Emilia or Rem were the prettiest of this world — or maybe Priscilla? Crusch? Not even close. The pair of adult elf women were glorious — the pristine silver hair, the mature voice within the sounds — like animals — they made. Also, the stomach-to-hip ratio was something truly out of this world. "I've been isekai'd to another world!?" — that's what he would say, if his mouth were not being occupied by the strongly willed Witch's fingers. If that happened more, his standards would go out the roof — too much for his little virgin eyes.
To bite, to lick, to kiss, to suck, to share — to share, the Witch of Envy was sharing with the Witch of Envy? Witch of Envy… Witch Satella… Satella with the Witch of Envy. Reasoning right now would only result in his thoughts getting drowned deeper. Uhum! That's it—
F-F-Fuck. His small body couldn't ever handle all that — his older one, too. That's unbearable — that softly made jack-off, a strong, strong, sexy grip on his hardened dick. That's a true virgin-killer move. Curling her fingertips around the glans, he leaked pre-cum enough to make both Witches look with greed toward each other — like a self-competition for the same target. The rapid movement was volatile — one or the other, both of them? — licking through the small region, the tongues merging in a strange, hot, and bizarrely erotic way. He tried to moan — fingers deep in his throat — he also tried to curl himself up — like a snake or something — but it only resulted in his belly getting more exposed, which meant more predatory behavior from the duo.
Getting exposed to being put down in the grass of Gladiator Island — I mean, it was only him and her here… Everyone else kind of died when the duo arrived at his calls for help. It wasn't really fair to be fucking with the two villains of the world while he was in the body of a child — but what can he do? Refuse his owner? Uhm, that sounded great — making her more envious of him might result in more moments like this. And what would happen if she took a liking for such depraved actions? 'Pervert Barusu' — that's something Ram would definitely say. But, you know what? I am perverted. Please, Satella and Witch of Envy, fuck the hell out of me! I said that close to your 'home,' in that horrible cave… didn't I? In a relationship, I would be the submissive one! Then make it happen.
Or was that just a mere way to cope with the enormous violation he feels toward his body? If there was something to be touched, she already touched it. If there was something to be broken, Satella and the Witch of Envy already broke it. Something to be opened, cut, explored — his mouth, his whole jaw, actually, moving by her preference and favor — the fingers penetrating against the throat. The same he felt for his legs and arms: more than fifty arms holding the four limbs down.
There was a small section of doubt in Subaru Natsuki's mind, where he couldn't tell where the abuse began and where the pleasure ended. That small barrier smeared away, drop by second, in each moment. The path the Witch of Envy marked with pain, Satella wrote in pleasure; the segments Satella made hurt, the Witch of Envy made feel like he was about to melt. Love — that's it.
Getting bent over like a bitch, crossing her teeth against his skin like a knife — tasting his own blood like it's something gracious to be put in a cup. Caressing his face while her hands explore his short body — all at the same time, he could comprehend he was getting closer and closer to cumming from the merged tongues of the Witches. And then, in a spiral of emotions and feelings — he came into the Witches' soft mouths.
But it didn't end there. Both Witches rose up, not looking at each other — like a conflict of interests. Satella, with her warm hands, grabbing around the edges of the mourning veil — Satella exposed her sex, making a face with a soft smile. It dripped down like a fountain — and she had one hell of a bush: curled hair, white as the hair, pristine silver — not fully, just a small patch over her virile area. That's expected — not like he would refuse anything that came from his owner. He prefers it like this.
"Uhh ha--- uha"
Did... Satella say something different...? I mean, the Witch of Envy always says she loves me... — but Satella only talked at the Tea Party.
"Uhhaa" — She does kinda resemble Louis Arneb... Well, I —
Subaru pointed to his own face, smiling — "Sit down here my dear."
And Satella, accordingly — sat down against his face — the strong smell is everything — so disgustingly good, good enough to make him brick-hard once again.
Oh, that's new. It fits so well... Licking tasting eating — just like gluttony, should he be saying 'Aooouuu' like Louis too? — F-fuck fuckf—
Even though Subaru had done this to himself before — many times actually, fucking the hell out of himself using fingers against his tight asshole, it wasn't even close to what the Witch of Envy was doing. — Clenching — Tasting — putting all the long tongue inside of him, coping with the long hot tongue just to mess with his prostate — at the same time, the shadow hands pressed directly against the prostate — something so evil that only her, The Witch of Envy could do.
Trembling his legs, trying to shake it off with motions — but there was nothing he could do. The more he moved, the more Satella pressed his face against the ground with that slimy half-elf pussy — licking with so much effort it seemed impossible to be able to digest all. The small pubic hairs getting into his mouth at the same time he sucked the clit happily with his soft lips. Even though he promised himself to be loyal to Emilia — he would straight-up refuse his beloved owner? So foolish of him — thinking that while busy with the delicious unwashed Satella's pussy.
Being degraded to such a point where his mouth was nothing more than the toilet of his owner made him excited anyway. Maybe that's a reward for all the suffering — maybe that's a reward for both of them. Since Subaru stayed positive the whole time — her reward for creating a strong relationship where he begged for her help against Todd. The loveless Return By Death made obvious that Natsuki Subaru is an Object of Ownership — such depraved term — to put someone — anything, or in terms of 'Object' something to be held — owned, cared — counted as 'part of' not 'with'. With that in mind, the knees of Satella pressed harder against the ground, her warm hands now messing and pulling his hair depending on how well he was doing. Honorable — no, definitely not, but happy? Satisfied? Heart-Filling? The needs of a man? Oh, sure it is.
Being always a submissive type, even with his pride, he was loving this. Maybe the combination of being defenseless with this weak body — while this duo of monstrous women who owned him made everything better. To be fair — Emilia wouldn't be the type to d—
She pulled his hair with so much force that it hurt — while the Witch crushed his prostate, with such pleasure that it made him cum like a fountain. Truly envious those women are, he didn't even say anything — but they felt it? Probably. "UGh Uhhga" — She creamed in his mouth — again? How many times anyway? The drowned feeling — missing oxygen to his brain — he couldn't exactly pinpoint how many times it was. Again and again and again.
They pulled him with all those arms, the warm ones holding his waist. They were holding him like a prized possession — looking into the dazed eyes, the first thing Satella did — was kissing his mouth again, biting the lip — caressing against the teeth, the tongue also didn't escape the focused desire of that four hundred years woman. The blurred vision making even harder to differentiate them at this point — except for the feeling of 'Warmth' or 'Coldness' depending on which of the hands were poking his insides or prostate — or even when they jacked him off — again and again, trying to get something that had already run out.
"— Y-You are very pretty, S-Satella — y-you too, Witch of Envy" that's all he could say, his weakened voice against the standards of himself — so, so much pleasure that he doubted himself, it felt so good, good enough to make him pardon her for all the pain she caused. Sucking on her nipples again — which one? He didn't even know. He just knew that it kept getting harder and harder to understand what exactly was happening to him.
Then, once again—
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
Merging converging separating mixing departing picking stretching — cumming — and cumming — and cumming — and cumming — How many times? — Before he could understand, or stand against the pleasure — Subaru Natsuki was Returned by Death Love.