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It was a gorgeous, bright and sunny day over Los Angeles as everyone went about their days, living, laughing, and experiencing everything in between.
The same could not be said for a certain firefighter at Station 118.
Evan Buckley let out a small sigh as he went about looking over the well stocked and fully organized contents of the inventory closet... yet again. Before this he was mopping the floors and checking equipment and if the tons signalling an emergency sounded, his feet would be planted firmly where they were, not running to join his fellow firefighters.
Buck knew that if he took so much as a step, he's get several annoyed and baleful glares while Captain Robert Nash would just say the now routine words.
Man behind Buckley.
That was all Buck ever got since his return to duty after the whole lawsuit debacle. All his attempts to apologize and explain had fallen on deaf ears, no one giving him an inch, everyone siding with their Captain instead of listening, everyone judging Buck guilty of betrayal and foolishness without ever once trying to see it from his perspective.
Captain Nash would be clipped and harsh with him and pile on even more chores if he tried to say anything. Chimney's jokes were always at his expense and deeply cutting. After she welcomed him back and gave him that red velvet cupcake that bled, Hen tried to be cordial but when Buck saw the way the others would give her flack for even talking to him, Buck pulled away from her to spare her the hassle.
Eddie though, Eddie was the worst.
Where once there seemed this unbreakable bond between them as partners, now Eddie would avert his gaze whenever Buck came near or even leave the room entirely with an angry glare. The one time Buck had gathered his courage and approached Eddie to ask about Christopher and maybe hanging out, Eddie had very coldly and callously told Buck to basically fuck off, that he wasn't going to let Buck back into Christopher's life just so that Buck could abandon them again whenever he felt like filing another lawsuit, and that no amount of groveling or apologizing was going to change his mind. He had told Buck in no uncertain terms that he was no longer welcome at his house of his and his son's lives. Eddie had slammed his locker door hard enough to make the walls rattle for good measure, driving it home that Buck had lost his Diaz boys. Even Chim and Hen had looked to Buck with sympathy that evening, while Bobby remained as cold and indifferent as ever.
Buck had gone home and shattered completely, crying himself to sleep and then having to drag himself to work the next day.
Eddie had told him that day at the grocery store that he was exhausting and selfish, maybe Eddie was right not to want that kind of a person around his kid. It still hurt like fucking hell because Buck hadn't set out to be exhausting or selfish, he had just wanted to get his life back after it had literally been blown up by a psychotic little grudge holding asshole kid. He just wanted to get back to the job he loved and the people he loved even more, that's all. Especially Eddie, who had captured his heart and soul in a way no one had ever done, not even Abby. He was in love with his best friend, who was now most likely his ex-best friend who wanted nothing to do with him.
He may have been allowed at the dining table for meals, but he was relegated to the very end of the table, someone else taking the seats beside Eddie, he didn't get invites to get togethers or hangouts, even with Hen messaging him, trying to get him to come join the get togethers, and he was constantly dodging Maddie's questions whenever she checked in on him and asked why he was a no show. It was a special kind of hell being on the outside looking in, especially when the pictures of everyone smiling and having a great time together would go up on social media for him to see and feel his heart shattered all over again.
He was excommunicated, banished, evicted, and just out and it seemed there was no way to come back available to him now or... ever.
Buck was broken from his heartbroken musings by the sound of boxes falling. He turned and felt his guts freeze when he saw an unfortunately familiar figure standing by the doorway to the supply room, a mess of alcohol pad boxes strewn about his feet.
Greg Gedeon, a fellow A-shift firefighter who had decided to take advantage of Buck's isolation and turned into the bane of Buck's existence.
The man, who stood just shy of six feet but made up for it in muscle, took clear sadistic joy in cornering Buck and rubbing it in his face how much of a traitor he was, how no one wanted him here at the station anymore, that he was a backstabbing loser who blabbed about everything personal to his lawyer, and that the whole station would do so much better without him moping around like some kicked puppy.
" Looks like you missed a mess Buckley." Gedeon jeered with a hateful smirk and an acidic smugness in his dark brown eyes.
" I'll get right on that, thanks." Buck said quietly, not looking the man in the eye before turning back to his clip board in clear dismissal, not giving Gedeon the satisfaction of any kind of emotional response.
Gedeon scowled and was about to unleash his latest tirade when thankfully the horns sounded.
" Have fun with the cleanup you pathetic useless loser." Gedeon spat with a satisfied grin before he turned and trotted off to join the others rushing to their gear.
Buck kept his back to the door, allowing a single tear to carve a bitter train down his pale cheek as he heard the siren and engines roaring to life as his fellow firefighters rushed off to the latest emergency... without him.
Buck let out a shaky breath, wiped away the salt clinging to his skin, and then turned and made his way over to the boxes Gedeon had knocked over. He started to pick them up and restack them in precise order. The mess wasn't going to clean itself after all.
A good few of hours later the rigs returned after a job well done. There had been a big pile up on the interstate. Buck watched from where he was checking some air tanks as the team all piled out of the rigs, looking tired but in one piece.
" Thanks for having my back out there Gedeon." Eddie said loudly, his dark eyes glancing in Buck's direction for a fraction of a second.
" Don't mention it Diaz, I got you." Gedeon replied before sending a smug, knowing look Buck's way.
Hen frowned in disapproval and Chim gave Eddie this pointed look that actually had Eddie biting back a wince, but Bobby just walked past it all and made his way towards the lockers.
" Clean the rigs Buckley, I want them shining by the end of shift." Was all the Captain said, not even waiting for a response.
Buck kept his head down and clenched his jaw hard as he walked past the rest of the team.
He missed the quiet, guilty look that passed across Eddie's face before he stubbornly schooled his features and turned to head to the showers with the others.
Buck just clenched his jaw and clenched his heart even harder as he set to work cleaning the rigs, the station milling about around him.
A week later...
The morning sun was bright and warm over the firehouse as those within it set about getting started with the new day.
From where she sat with a mug of hot coffee warming her hands, Henrietta Wilson watched as Buck disappeared down the stairs with a visible slump to his shoulder and none of the brightness that made him... Buck. The young man had come up to the loft, said a quiet "good morning" that barely got any replies, grabbed a pastry from the pile on the table, wolfed it down in record time, before slinking off to get started on the veritable mountain of chores he now usual got tasked with.
" Hasn't this gone on long enough Cap?" She suddenly asked as he looked to the head of the table where Bobby was finishing his own breakfast.
Bobby's fork paused to his mouth but his expression was not that surprised. Beside him the rest of the table all paused and looked between him and Hen. Chim slumped but leaned subtly closer to Hen while Eddie's whole face darkened and his lips thinned, anger quickly taking over like it usually did.
" What do you mean Hen?" Bobby asked casually, although he knew full well what Hen was talking about.
" Hasn't Buck been punished enough. He's been back a whole month now, seriously Bobby, this can't go on." Hen said firmly.
" Yeah well, you reap what you sow Hen. What did he think, that after what he put us through we'd just welcome him with open arms? Fat chance." Eddie growled.
A few chairs over, Gedeon scowled but listened intently, all the while looking forward to making Bucklet pay for disturbing breakfast.
" Is what Buck did really so bad that he has not place here anymore, after he fought tooth and nail to come back here? What the lawsuit extreme? Yes, is Chase Mackey a bottom feeding scumbag? Yes. Was everything he brought up already public knowledge? Yes. Does Buck deserve to still be kept off calls and treated like this place's glorified maid? No." Hen said firmly as she stared Eddie down and then turned back to Bobby who still hadn't said anything.
" You set the tone Cap, and because of that Buck had been systematically isolated and ostracized by just about everyone here. Do you think I enjoy not having him by my side? Do you think it was fun for me when he asked me not to stick for him so that I don't end up like he is right now? Do you think I like seeing the heartbreak on his face every time you tell him he's man behind and then bark orders at him to clean everything when that is not just his job? Frankly Cap, I am wondering just how he still even wants to be here and hasn't put in for a transfer yet." Hen said with her voice wavering a little at the end.
Eddie jerked sharply at these words and even Bobby could no longer hide his own emotions, guilt warring with stubborn pride.
" I gotta agree with Hen here you guys. While I gotta admit, Mackey bringing up our personal stuff sucked, that was his job, he was fighting for Buck and making a point. I had rebar go through my brain and then got stabbed, and still I came back with no problem, so why couldn't Buck do that?" Chim asked with a helpless shrug.
" He wasn't ready. With the blood thinners and the embolism, he needed more time." Bobby said with certainty he didn't quiet feel.
" You sure about that Cap?" Hen challenged.
Before Bobby could respond, the tons sounded, putting a stopper on the conversation as everyone rushed from the table and headed downstairs to gear up and get to the rigs.
Even as she ran, Hen's eyes sought out Buck and found him just in time to see Eddie pointedly ignore him as he ran past while Gedeon shoulder checked him on his way to the lockers. That Gedeon dude was seriously starting to get on Hen's nerves but she couldn't really think about that now as she geared up and got in the ambulance with Chim. Within minutes they were rushing off to the latest emergency but the absence of a certain blue eyed individual was keenly felt.
All through the ride to the house fire that was called in, Eddie stayed silent with his face grim and his jaw set. He was mad, just angry in every sense of the word.
He was angry as Shannon for coming back into his and Chris' lives, only to want a divorce after so much hope, and then leaving forever because of the accident.
He was angry at Buck for jumping the gun and filing that stupid lawsuit, for leaving him and Chris when they needed him. The lawyer bringing up Shannon was a low blow that Eddie was in no mood to forgive or forget. Now Buck was back and moping about with those sad eyes, well tough luck because Eddie wasn't going to get burned again.
Most of all Eddie was mad at himself for all of his failures, for being the fool who constantly got had by those around him, for not being able to protect Chris, for letting Buck get so close that his absence ended up making Eddie feel like he couldn't breathe, for not being able to protect Shannon, for being an utter failure as a father and proving his parents right. Above all else, Eddie was mad at himself for having fallen truly and irrevocably in love with Evan Buckley. He just couldn't say it out loud and he wasn't about to forgive Buck for his grievances either.
Eddie gritted his teeth and refocused his attentions to the present. There was a fire, people in trouble, and he had a job to do.
It took several hours, but they were able to both save the family stuck inside and put out the blaze that had engulfed the entire structure.
They rolled back into the station in the afternoon bone tired but glad that they hadn't lost anyone on this call.
Once again, Bobby barked for Buck to clean the rig while everyone else hit the showers.
When they all came out, no one spared Buck a glance but Gedeon was seething about the morning still and wanted a chance to humiliate the traitor like he deserved. Fate would give him the chance when Bobby noticed that one of the ladders on the top of the truck was askew.
" Buckley, get up there and straighten that out." Bobby barked down to Buck only for Gedeon to step forward.
" I got it Cap, probably my fault it got skewed." Gedeon said before he eagerly took off down the stairs before Bobby could say anything.
Buck gritted his teeth and kept his head down while Gedeon gave him this smile that had his hackles rising as the latter climbed up to the top of the truck. Buck stepped away from the truck to get to the bucket of soapy water, bending down to dip the sponge in his hand when suddenly something cold and wet slammed into his side... like an ocean wave.
Buck felt his feet go out from under him, his uniform getting soaked through, and then he was slamming into the concrete floor with jarring force.
" Whoops, sorry about that Buckley!" Gedeon said with a loud laugh from where he was standing beside the water canon that was situated atop the truck.
Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Eddie all rushed to the loft's railing, all eyes going to the scene before them.
Gedeon was chuckling, absolutely glowing at what he had just done. Everyone saw Buck in a heap on the floor, sopping wet. Several other people joined in the laughter, thinking it a harmless little joke. From where he stood, Eddie let out a laugh of his own before he could stop himself, earning an outraged look from Hen while Chim winced and even Bobby looked concerned, figuring out what had just happened, that Buck had just taken a full force hit from the water canon and got knocked off his feet.
Eddie was about to call out to Buck and tell him to cut out the dramatics and get up off the floor, but before he could speak, a sound echoed through the entire fire station that made every single person freeze where they stood.
" CHRISTOPHER! CHRIS!"
Buck's bone rattling scream sounded through the air, all eyes watching in horror as he stumbled around on his knees and clawed desperately at the watery concrete around him, his pale blue eye wide but unseeing, his entire expression one of absolute panic and devastation, all the while with dark streaks of red liquid coursing down his pale face and dripping onto the floor.
Blood, rivers of blood flowing from a huge gash on the side of Buck's head.
" CHRISTOPHER WHERE ARE YOU? CHRIS BABY PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU? CHRIS? CHRIS? CHRISTOPHER!!!!!!" Buck screamed over and over again between sobs and blood, crawling around utterly devastated, terrified, and in the grips of the memories of one of the worst days of his whole life.
" Oh fuck." Gedeon whispered, all of his sadistic cheer at pulling off another moment of tormenting Buck now turned to horror as the gravity of just what the fuck he had done was hitting him full force.
Buckley was down there bleeding and crawling around, desperately searching for Diaz's kid.
Buckley and Diaz's kid who had both been caught in the tsunami that had hit the pier just a few short months ago.
Bobby felt the bottom of his stomach drop out completely as Buck continued to scream desperately for a little boy who had been ripped away from him by the unforgiving waves of an ocean enraged. Chim and Hen could only stand there and gawk, but it was Eddie who broke out of the stupor first.
" Buck!" Eddie yelled with all the force in his lungs before he wrenched himself away from the loft's railing and hurtled towards the pole, forgoing the stairs and using the smooth metal to slide down to the first floor quicker. Eddie was running before he was even all the way down the pole, racing past his stunned fellow firefighters and then crashing onto the sopping when bay floor beside Buck, his horror growing at the sight of the jagged wound to Buck's head that was gushing even more blood.
" Buck! Buck! Hey hey hey! Buck! Buck look at me! Look at me!" Eddie yelled as he grabbed hold of Buck and pulled his injured best friend to him.
" NO! NO LET GO OF ME! LET GO OF ME I HAVE TO FIND CHRISTOPHER! HE'S GOT CP AND HE WEARS GLASSES! HE FELL FROM THE TRUCK! ANOTHER WAVE CAME AND HE FELL WHILE I WAS HELPING SOMEONE! I HAVE TO FIND HIM, I NEED TO FIND HIM! HE'S MY LIFE, HE'S MY EVERYTHING! I HAVE TO FIND HIM! CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRISTOPHER!" Buck screamed and struggled wildly against Eddie's grip, desperately trying to get back to searching for Christopher, aggravating his head wound further, and completely shattering Eddie's heart.
" Buck! Buck please, please you gotta stop! You're not in the tsumani anymore! Buck please listen to me!" Eddie said as he tightened his hold around Buck and held him against his chest, nearly losing his grip on the other man who was wet and bloodied.
Bobby finally moved, Chim and Hen following him as they all rushed down the stared, the Captain sending a glare at Gedeon where the man was still standing on top of the rig beside the water canon looking pale and shaky as he watched the scene before him.
Eddie kept calling out to Buck until at last he reached out and cupped the blue eyed man's pale cheek and gently but firmly forced the injured man to look his way.
" Buck." Eddie called, watching as Buck's blue eyes grew steadily more and more glassy and unfocused.
" E-Eds?" Buck asked softly, a low buzzing filling his ears as his vision started to dim.
" Yeah Buck, I am here, I am right here." Eddie said, hoping to reassure Buck.
He watched as Buck's face crumbled as he sobbed.
" Eddie... I can't find Chris... I can't find our s-son." Buck said, his words slowing and slurring before his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he want utterly and terrifyingly limp in Eddie's arms as consciousness finally and rapidly left him.
" N-No Buck! Buck? Buck no wake up! Wake up please!" Eddie begged as Bobby, Chim, and Hen finally joined them, Hen and Chim carrying their medical bags with them.
Eddie, Chim, and Hen all set upon Buck and worked together to treat him as best they could.
" We need to get him to the hospital ASAP, he could have a possible skull fracture." Hen said grimly.
Movement a few feet away had them all seeing Gedeon slowly and hesitantly climbing down from the rig looking pale and shell shocked, none of his previous bravado and vindictiveness to be found.
The moment Eddie caught sight of him, his whole face twisted into a snarl as he shot to his feet. Before he could lunge at the man who had caused this entire debacle, Bobby came into his line of sight, physically blocking him.
" Take care of Buck Eddie, he needs us right now." Bobby said firmly.
Glaring murderously at Gedeon, who drop his own eyes to the floor in pure shame, Eddie deflated and nodded mutely before turn his full attention back to Buck. Bobby then slowly turned and settled his own cold brown eyes on Gedeon himself.
" What the Hell did you do Firefighter Gedeon?" Bobby asked slowly, his tone deadly.
Gedeon forced himself to look back up and meet Bobby's furious and expectant gaze.
" I-I just... I thought it would be f-funny." He stuttered lamely, his voice weak and reedy.
" Is anyone laughing?" Bobby said loudly, his voice radiating throughout the entire building as many people shook their heads and glared at Gedeon while others averted their own eyes in shame for having been amused by everything he had just done to Buck before they saw the blood and heard his desperate screams.
Things became a blur of motion after that as Eddie, Chim, and Hen all loaded Buck onto a stretcher and then into the ambulance, while Bobby made the gut wrenching decision to stay behind for the moment and made a necessary call to Athena, all the while glaring at Gedeon who could only hang his head in defeat.
The drive to the hospital was harrowing with Buck pale and silent, his pulse weak and thready, while Eddie and Hen did their best to stop his head wound from bleeding any further. When they reached the hospital, Eddie rattled off as many medical details as he could to the doctors and nurses, including everything about his crush injury, embolism, and blood thinners, before they whisked Buck away through the emergency doors. Eddie, Chim, and Hen were left to the most agonizing task of all, waiting.
About an hour later, Bobby arrived with Athena and Maddie in tow.
" How is he?" Bobby asked immediately.
" We don't know, the doctor's haven't come out yet." Chim said quietly before he turned to Maddie with an apologetic look.
" What happened to my brother? How did this happen? He wasn't even out on a call or anything?" Maddie asked worriedly.
" Some idiot on A-Shift thought it would be hilarious to shoot the water canon at Buck, get him wet and humiliated. Dumbass wasn't counting on knocking Buck clean of his feet, the poor boy cracking his head on the concrete, and then having a full blown flashback of being caught in the tsunami desperately searching for Chris." Athena explained grimly.
" Oh my God." Maddie breathed, her eyes filling with tears and her expression one of abject horror.
" Why would he do that? My God why would anyone ever do that to Buck?" Maddie asked as she looked around the room.
" Because he saw an easy target since Buck's been treated as nothing more than a pariah ever since he got back to the station." Hen said grimly.
There was a moment of stunned silence before Athena's eyes hardened to cold obsidian.
" What do you mean Henrietta?" She asked slowly, the very air around all of them seeming to drop several degrees.
From where they stood, Bobby, Chim, and Eddie all felt this yawning pit rapidly open wide and fast in their stomachs.
Letting out a deep sigh, Hen began to unveil the truth about how things had really been for Buck after the whole lawsuit debacle.
With each humiliation and unkind word or treatment revealed, Maddie and Athena's gazes grew more and more enraged. By the time Hen was done she had tears streaming down her face.
" He wouldn't let me speak up for him, he didn't want me to be treated the same way too. I spoke up today because I was so tired of not having Buck with us but what good did it do him? Gedeon's been a complete asshole to him the whole time he's been back." Hen said brokenly before she turned angry eyes to Bobby.
" You set the tone Captain, you made it clear that nobody was gonna protect Buck. The lawsuit was an extreme choice I'll admit that, but Buck wouldn't have made it if he hadn't felt that it was all he could do, with the brass holding him back-" Hen said only for Athena to hold up her hand and silence her.
" Who told you it was the higher ups that were keeping Buck from returning to full duty?" Athena asked, although she already knew the answer.
She watched as Hen, Chim, and Eddie all turned confused eyes to Bobby, who's face drained of color while his eyes took on that deer in the headlights look.
" Robert Wade Nash, did you not tell any of them that it was you who told the higher ups that Buck wasn't ready to come back despite his recertification and six different doctors giving him a clean bill of health?" The police sergeant asked slowly, her own disappointment and disbelief clear in her tone.
" C-Cap?" Eddie croaked as he felt the rug being pulled out from under him.
" I-I... I just wanted to k-keep him safe." Bobby said quietly, meekly under the many outraged eyes that were boring holes into him.
" Stand up job you did of that Captain." Chim quipped flatly before he cowered under Maddie's enraged eyes.
" W-We trusted you Cap, and you lied to our faces? You made us think it was Buck just plowing ahead without thinking when this whole time it was you who caused this whole nightmare with the lawsuit?" Eddie asked in astonishment.
" I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just wanted him to take some more time, he wasn't ready." Bobby said brokenly.
" That wasn't your decision to make Cap! Buck's a grown ass man who can make his own decisions, he's not that reckless probie who stole the firetruck. He's grown from that so much, how could you do this to him? To us?" Hen asked in disgust.
" I didn't want to lose another kid. I just-" Bobby tried to say, but then the doors to the ER opened to reveal a tall, auburn haired lady in blue scrubs and a white coat.
" Is there an Edmundo Diaz or a Maddie Kendall here for Evan Buckley?" She called.
" Y-Yeah that's me!" Eddie said as he rushed forward with Maddie right beside him.
" I am Evan's sister." She said
" I have Mr. Diaz listed as Mr. Buckley's primary emergency contact and you as his secondary Ms. Kendall." The Doctor explained, Eddie and Maddie both nodding before they got to the heart of the matter.
" Doctor how is he?" Eddie asked desperately.
" How is my little brother?" Maddie asked as the rest of the team gathered around them.
" Let me start by saying, he's going to be alright, we took him for a CT and thankfully there was no skull fracture and he avoided a concussion. We were able to treat the wound to his head with staples and stopped the bleeding." The doctor explained.
There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone before Eddie spoke.
" Can we see him please?" He asked eagerly.
" We're erring on the side of caution and keeping him overnight for observation. For now just the two of you can come and see him. I'll have one of the nurses come and get you in a little bit after we shift him to a private room." The doctor said.
She shook hands and accepted the many thanks expressed to her but the moment she was gone, Eddie, Chim, Bobby, and Hen were once again facing the combined wrath of Athena and Maddie.
The ladies ripped the four of them apart without mercy, verbally decimating all of them, but Hen to a lesser extent.
" If anyone should have understood where my brother was coming from, it was you Howard. You had rebar go through your skull and then almost got stabbed to death but you came back on the job within just months. No one held you back or told you you weren't ready. How could you just stand by while my brother was treated like an outcast? How could you just stand by while he was being bullied so badly after everything you yourself told me you went through with your old captain?" Maddie asked tearfully, anger mixing with utter disappointment as she gazed at her shame faced boyfriend.
" I am so sorry Maddie, I just... I believed Bobby and thought Buck was just overdoing things and that he jumped the gun with the lawsuit, and then when his lawyer brought up the rebar and the stabbing I just... I felt really hurt and angry." Chim explained.
" But was that lawyer wrong Chim? For all of his unpleasantness, was Buck's attorney wrong in what he argued about Buck being treated differently from everyone else? From having to jump through far more hoops that any of you ever did and even having the goal posts shoved back some more because my dear husband over here couldn't manage to stay professional?" Athena asked flatly, watching as Bobby's face flushed with fresh embarrassment.
" That lawyer brought up Shannon and rubbed it in my face, how is that okay?" Eddie asked sadly, not angrily, all his anger drained from him in the face of everything. All he wanted now was to see Buck and make sure he was okay, to just fall to his knees and apologize to the man he was secretly in love with.
" Attorney's are cut throat and even if Buck hadn't said anything, there is a public record of Shannon's accident he could have easily consulted during his due diligence of Buck's case. I again ask you now Eddie, was that lawyer wrong? Did Bobby let you back on the job even though you didn't properly grieve the woman you were married to? The woman who was the mother of your precious son?" Athena challenged.
Eddie could only drop his gaze and stay silent as Athena then finally turned to her husband.
" I love you Robert Nash, but I am so very disappointed in you right now." She started.
" I know, I know Athena, I shouldn't have interfered like I did but I was just so scared, and he got hurt because of me in the first place. And then he choked on his own blood in our backyard and I just wanted to keep him safe and then the tsunami. He almost died three times Athena." Bobby choked out, everyone looking just as pained at his words.
" I know Bobby, but what happened with the fire truck wasn't your fault, it was Freddie Costas', the embolism was misfortune, and so was the tsunami. Buck just happened to get caught in the cross-hairs but you still should have talked to him. You disrespected his autonomy, you treated him as incompetent and then backed him into a corner. He felt the lawsuit was the only way he could fight back and then when he finally did come back it wasn't to the family he was fighting so hard to get back to, but to isolation and straight up bullying that almost got him killed today Bobby, under your watch." Athena said firmly.
" I didn't mean for it to go one like this, I was just so hurt and so was everyone else and I just... I didn't mean for any of this to happen." Bobby said with tears finally falling free.
" But it did happen Bobby, we all treated Buck like absolute dirt and left him completely alone, and that was all that asshole Gedeon needed to take advantage and do what he's been doing, and do what he did today." Hen said grimly.
" My brother could have died today." Maddie said with angry tears swimming in her honey brown eyes.
Bobby flinched as if he had been struck, Hen sobbed unashamedly, Chim looked ready to vomit, and Eddie had to shut his eyes against the burn that took hold behind them while his own stomach rolled violently.
" Well, that water canon loving asshole won't ever get to hurt Buck or anyone else again, that's for damn sure. On top of him voluntarily resigning from the LAFD because he actually felt bad, he's currently sitting in lockup on malicious assault charges. The security footage from the station not only caught Gedeon shooting the water cannon at Buck today, it's also got a good chunk of the other instances he's bullied Buck or made his job difficult by intentionally making messes." Athena said flatly.
Everyone deflated with relief but before anyone could say anything or ask further, a tall, curly haired male nurse came through the doors.
" Edmundo Diaz and Maddie Kendall?" He asked.
Eddie and Maddie stepped forward immediately.
" We've shifted Mr. Buckley to a room." The nurse began, Eddie and Maddie both moving to go when the nurse gave them this apologetic look.
" Unfortunately, Mr. Buckley has informed us that he doesn't want any visitors at this time so I can't bring you guys up. I am so sorry." The nurse said.
" W-What? But we have to see him!" Maddie exclaimed while Eddie felt something inside him crumble to dust. Behind them the rest of the family all looked quietly devastated.
" We have to respect the patient's wishes and he stated it clearly that he is not up for seeing anyone. Again, I am sorry. Visiting hours start from 8:00AM tomorrow, hopefully Mr. Buckley will have rested up enough. I can assure you that we'll be monitoring his condition diligently while he's staying with us. Take care." The nurse said kindly before he took his leave.
The 118 family stood in stunned silence before Athena sighed and shook her head.
" I know we all desperately want to see our boy and make sure he's alright, but you heard the man, Buck doesn't want visitors right now, and it is high time we all respected his wishes for once." The sergeant said sternly.
With their spirits crushed, the 118 heeded Athena's words, everyone forcing themselves to walk out of the hospital and away from the one they desperately wanted to be with.
Several floors upstairs in the hospital's recovery wing, a lone figure lay in bed with his head bandaged and his heart battered far worse.
Buck stared up blankly at the plain white ceiling above him. He let out a shaky breath before his face finally crumbled and he allowed himself to cry in full and unadulterated devastation, his despair cracking open and consuming him in the solitude he had chosen for himself.
Today had become a nightmare he could never wake from, for one could not wake from the real world and escape, no matter how desperately they wanted to.
The rest of the day was torture for the 118, who had to head back to the station where a very angry Chief Alonzo was already waiting for them and wanting to know just what the hell happened, and what had been happening at the 118 every since firefighter Buckley returned to duty.
The floor that had been stained with Buck's blood had been cleaned thoroughly, but there was no cleaning the pall that had fallen over the station, no cleaning the mark of shame that everyone was feeling after what they had witnessed.
Chief Alonzo was absolutely furious as Bobby and the others had been completely upfront and truthfully revealed the way things had been going for Buck every since his return, from the shunning on the very first day, the purposeful exclusion from both calls and station social life, to the bullying that had ultimately led to Buck's assault and injury.
The Chief was not going to let anything slide.
Bobby got reamed out severely, a formal reprimand and a two week suspension. Hen was spared because she actually didn't participate in the bullshit and tried to stick up for Buck until he asked her not to. Eddie and Chim both received three day suspensions, and Eddie received a pointed warning about his behavior at Howie's grocery store and how the department had needed to pull out all the stops to keep his hissyfit at Buck from going flaming viral. Eddie was left feeling even smaller than he already was after that. Everyone was ordered to mandatory therapy and anti-bullying training. The Chief utter disappointment in all of them just made things even worse, especially when he revealed just how many millions Buck had turned down because he and won his lawsuit, but had cared only about returning to the job he loved, and the people he loved even more than that.
Everyone went home that night utterly defeated, and then had to explain why Buck was in the hospital again and why some of them had more time off than others to their loved ones, and then had to deal with the outrage and the anger again after that from Karen, Denny, May, Harry, and especially Christopher.
Eddie went to sleep that night with his beloved son refusing to speak to him and giving him his best glare.
Eddie didn't protest, Eddie knew he deserved it, and as he fell into a restless sleep, all he wanted was for the sun to rise again so that he could go back to the hospital first thing and try again. He's try and try until Buck finally allowed him in, even if it took him the rest of the life.
The next morning came, it was thankfully a Saturday and Eddie was suspended, so after an awkward breakfast with a silent and angry Christopher, he bundled his kid up in the truck and headed for the hospital.
Eddie felt some hope return to him when the nurses gave him and Chris the all clear to go upstairs and Eddie had every reason to believe that the only reason why Buck was allowing it was because he had Chris with him.
When they got to Buck's floor, Maddie was already there speaking with a doctor. When she saw them approaching she smiled at Chris but gave Eddie a pointed look before tilting her head, giving them the go ahead to enter Buck's room.
As soon as he was in the doorway, Chris zeroed in on Buck who was sitting up in his hospital bed, looking pale and with dark circles under his slightly swollen eyes and the bandage around his head sticking out starkly.
" Buck!" Chris cried as he rushed forward as fast as he could.
Eddie watched with his heart both swelling and bleeding as Buck literally came back to life in front of him, all at the sight of their son.
In an instant Eddie was yanked back to yesterday and Buck's final words to him before he had passed out.
Eddie... I can't find Chris... I can't find our s-son
Eddie's heart gave a painful lurch and it took everything in him not to just break down right then and there. He couldn't fall apart, not right now, not when Buck and Chris were finally reuniting, not when he had this chance to actually apologize to Buck directly.
" Superman!" Buck cried as he held out his arms and made grabby hands towards the child so beloved to him.
" Hold on a sec bud." Eddie said as he rushed forward.
He received twin dirty looks from Buck and Chris that actually had him chuckling because of how perfectly in sync and adorable they were before he picked Chris up and then carefully placed him into Buck's waiting arms.
" Just gotta be careful with Buck because he's hurt, alright?" Eddie said.
Chris nodded, and then promptly burst into tears as he threw his arms around Buck and hugged him like there was no tomorrow. Buck didn't last a second before his own face was crumbling and the tears were flowing.
" I missed you so much Buck!" Chris sobbed.
" I know, I know, I missed you too. God I missed you every day! 'm so sorry I wasn't around. I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to!" Buck gritted out before he started sobbing too.
Eddie stood there stunned and the quietly devastated as he watched the much needed reunion between his son and his Buck.
" H-Hey, there was just some stuff us grown up were dealing with, but it's not Buck's fault, it's mine. I made Buck feel like he had to stay away. I was mean and didn't think about how it would hurt either of you. I am so sorry you guys, it won't happen again." Eddie said as he looked between Chris and Buck.
" Y-You promise?" Buck croaked out through his tears as Chris looked up at his dad expectantly.
" Of course, of course. I promise it won't be like this ever again." Eddie said vehemently.
" Pinky promise with Buck daddy." Chris insisted with a sniffle.
Eddie let out a watery chuckle and his own eyes burn and his throat constricting painfully as he held up his hand and extended his pink towards Buck. Buck looked quietly heartbroken still as his breath hitched inside his chest, but he raised his opposite hand none the less and then reached out to hook his pinky with Eddie's. The electric jolt that passed between them at this meaningful touch between them was indescribable.
Chris just smiled in approval and from where she stood silently in the doorway, Maddie felt her own heart twinge with warring feelings. She was so happy that Buck was reunited with Chris after so long, knowing how much her brother loved that precious little boy, but she was still mad as fucking hell at said boy's bonehead of a father for the way he treated her baby brother. Maddie quietly joined them and the adults all listened intently as Chris caught Buck up to speed about how things had been for him this past month, the regular elementary school scandals and dramas that had Buck laughing brightly for the first time in really long time.
Eddie drank in the sight like a man lost in the desert, feeling the slithering tendrils of fresh guilt writhing inside his stomach because he knew full well he was one of the people who took Buck's laughter and light from him for all these weeks.
A little while later, Maddie took Chris to go and get some snacks from the cafeteria, giving Eddie a not so subtle look of warning before they left, finally leaving Eddie and Buck to each other with no adorable buffer between them.
There was heavy silence between them, all good cheer gone as Buck seemed to stare straight into Eddie's soul as he spoke.
" Thanks for helping me when I was bleeding all over the place, but I heard you Edmundo, I heard you laugh after what Gedeon had done, you joined him." Buck said with his eyes blazing and quiet fury lacing his every word.
" Buck I.... Dios I am so sorry. I just saw you get hit with the water, I didn't know that it hit you so hard that you got knocked down and hit your head." Eddie said quietly, feeling lower than dirt.
" Is that supposed to make me feel any better that my best friend, the man I... trusted to always have my back, laughed along side the absolute asshole who has been making my life a living nightmare for the entire month that I was back with you?" Buck asked, the fire in his eyes steadily growing more and more irate as he glared at his supposed best friend.
" I don't have any excuses, it wasn't even funny, I was being an asshole to you but I never ever wanted to see you hurt like that, bleeding all over the place, and then you... you had that flashback about the tsunami and you started screaming for Chris and I realized what Gedeon had actually done and I just... I am so sorry for what happened yesterday, and the way I've been towards you. I was just so mad I-" Eddie tried to explain, but Buck was having none of that.
" I don't care how mad I get at you, I never, ever would have treated you the way you have treated me Edmundo." Buck gritted out.
" I know, I know, and again I am so sorry Evan. I know you won't believe me but I wasn't even all that mad at you, I was just so mad at myself and the whole situation." Eddie said desperately.
" But I was still your best and most convenient punching bag. God man, you called me exhausting, humiliated me in front of an entire grocery story full of people, you refused to see things from my side, and worst of all you took Chris from me, you ripped my fucking heart out and I didn't even want to go the lawsuit route until I found out it was Bobby who was holding me back, not the brass." Buck barked.
" I know, I know, Bobby confessed everything to us yesterday after we brought you here. He's been suspended for the next two weeks, while me and Chim are out for the next three days." Eddie explained.
" Well that's just great, more reasons for you guys to hate me more than you already do." Buck spat, only to gasp softly as a pair of warm and lightly calloused hands took holdof his bruised face with infinite care.
Buck looked back up to see an absolutely stricken looking Eddie gazing back at him.
" We don't hate you Buck, we could never, I could never." He said vehemently.
" Well you sure have a funny fucking way of showing me how much you don't hate me. You fell in line with all of Bobby's lies, you let him treat me like dirt and never once spoke up for me, you watched him pile on every single chore he could on me and never once offered to help or call him out, you glared at me all the time, you left the room because you couldn't stand me, you got all buddy buddy with Gedeon just to rub it in my face how much he had your back while I was stuck as man behind. You say you guys don't hate me, but if this is the way you guys show me how much you love me then I don't want it. I don't fucking want it!" Buck said as his eyes filled with tears and his voice broke.
" Oh my." Eddie breathed before he all but lunged forward and pulled Buck into a crushing hug.
For one shining moment, Buck forgot everything, the truck bombing, the rehab, the sleepless nights, the embolism, the tsunami, the screaming and searching, the lawsuit, the hellish month back. For one shining moment there was just Eddie with his arms around him, holding him like he was the most precious thing in the world to him after Chris.
It was one shining moment before every single moment of isolation, every taunt and tease, every glare and glower, and every crack to his heart, and every drop of blood he had now shed came rushing back to the forefront of his mind with cold hard clarity.
" A hug is not going to magically fix any of this Eddie. Besides Hen, you all broke my fucking heart day after day and you were the worst of all." Buck growled even as he wrapped his own arms around Eddie and fisted his hands tightly into the back of the other man's shirt with a white knuckled grip.
" I know, I know, I was a complete and utter asshole, but I am here Buck, I am here and I will earn your forgiveness, I'll earn it I swear, I swear." Eddie said, meaning it with every fiber of his soul.
" I wanna believe you, but you left me first, and I am so fucking mad at you." Buck gritted out before he started sobbing helplessly.
" Be as mad as you want, I deserve every bit of it but I am not leaving you, not now, not ever. I promise Buck, I promise." Eddie said as he finally let his own tears fall free.
Buck and Eddie clung to each other, even with so much anger and hurt between them, they clung to each other hard because deep down they didn't want to be apart any longer, they wanted to be each others' person, each others' anchor against all the many storms that came and went in life.
Maddie and Chris came back to find Buck and Eddie composed and talking quietly, their eyes red but no longer creating rivers of salt between them.
This was not some great reconciliation where all was forgiven and well again, but it was a start.
A couple of hours later Buck was finally discharged. One pleading look from Christopher was all it took for the recovering man to agree to stay at the Diaz house instead of going back to his loft.
Eddie did his best not to cower under the subtle death glare Maddie leveled his way while Buck got dressed and was then wheeled out by one of the kind nurses.
Buck basically ignored Eddie the entire way through, Chris' excited voice filling the silence. When they reached the Diaz house, Tia Pepe and Abuela were waiting for them with a veritable feast and mountains of much needed love to pile onto Buck the moment he stepped through the door.
Buck soaked it all up and tucked into the tamales and empanadas with the best, absolutely starving while Eddie stood back and watched it all, feeling his heart break all over again as he realized that by barring Buck from his house, he had not only deprived the man of the sweet little boy he adored, but also two of the maternal figures he adored as well. It left Eddie feeling like dirt once more and he knew it would not be the last time either.
Once Tia Pepa and Abuela took their leave, Eddie plied Buck with some pain meds and then hustled him straight to his own bedroom, insisting Buck rest in a proper bed since there was no guest room. Eddie would take the pull out couch, which he was perfectly fine with. Buck had looked mutinous but Eddie wouldn't budge. Buck finally allowed himself to relax, the lingering sent of Eddie and the reassuring sound of him and Christopher being close by lulling him into a deep and far more restful sleep than any hospital could provide.
When Buck woke up it was early evening. When he shuffled out of Eddie's bedroom he found the man himself quietly talking on the phone with someone.
" It's just... I think we should stave off, it's too soon man." Eddie said before he froze as he caught sight of Buck.
" I gotta go Chim, lemme text you later." Eddie said before he quickly ended the call and hurried over to Buck.
" What did Chim want?" Buck asked flatly as he shuffled over to the couch and sat down with Eddie hovering beside him.
" He called and wanted to know if he could come over to talk to you but I told him I didn't think it would be a good idea, that's you're too angry and raw right now." Eddie said softly as he sat beside Buck, no where near as close as they usually sat, his whole body aching to get closer.
" You thought right. The only reason I am even here with you right now is Chris, remember that." Buck said sharply with glacial eyes at Eddie, who pursed his lips and nodded.
" I know Buck, I know." Eddie said with a sigh.
" Again, I am so sorry Buck." He added, feeling his eyes burn with deep regret and shame.
" You're only sorry because I cracked my head open on concrete." Buck said coldly before he turned away and grabbed up the tv remote, pressing the power button with more force that necessary and opening up Netflix to find something to watch.
Buck tellingly didn't order Eddie to go away, actually tolerated his presence beside him, but that did little to comfort the former soldier's burning hot shame and guilt.
Buck was cold to him the rest of that first day and beyond. The doctors told him that he needed to take it easy for at least a week before he could return to light duty. Buck was not at all thrilled but didn't put up to strong a protest. A couple of days into his week off, Hen stopped by with Karen and Denny. The beautiful paramedic was nearly beside herself as she checked Buck's healing stitches and apologized over and over again for not being their like Buck needed, for the entire months worth of harshness the young man had endured. Buck was quick to assured Hen that he had not beef with her, that he appreciated how she had tried to stick for him when he got back and also spoke up for him that day Gedeon had hurt him. Hen send Eddie an appreciative look, knowing it was he who had told Buck about this.
While Hen and Buck's reunion was sweet and a balm to Buck's soul, the same could not be said for Chim when the other paramedic finally showed up at the Diaz house to see Buck and talk to him, a serious and sad Maddie accompanying him.
Buck listened to Chim's stuttered out apologies and explanations without interrupting. He could tell the man was genuine in his regret, both for his cutting jokes and not standing up for Buck when someone truly should have.
" I know I seriously let you down Buck, and I am so sorry. I just believed Bobby at his word and didn't see your side of things. I should have remembered that you would never purposely set out to hurt us and I should have seen how awful things were for you when you got back. I went through so much crap when I first started at the 118 with Gerrard, and I will never forgive myself for just standing by when you were being bullied." Chim said tearfully.
" I accept your apology, but I can't just forgive and forget Howard. You should have understood be most of all, but you chose not to, you chose to turn a blind eye and some of your jabs got be right here man." Buck said just as shakily as he pointed to his heart and shook his head.
" That's okay Buck, I promise you that I'll earn it, that I will be there for you." Chim said vehemently.
Buck nodded and said no more.
This just left one person who had yet to face Buck, but the man in question was tellingly making himself scarce, Athena showing up to drop off several of Buck's favorite dishes. Buck didn't touch a single thing, leaving them to Eddie and Chris while he would retreat to Eddie's bedroom. Eddie didn't push, he just stayed by Buck's side regardless of how mad the blue eyed man still was at him.
After a week, Buck had his stitches taken out and headed back to work with Eddie beside him and Chim and Hen there to greet him along with the rest of the station. There had been talk of a banner and cake, but Hen shot it down, both because Bobby wouldn't be there and because they ran the risk of alienating Buck further rather that making him feel good. He would see such a gesture as guilt rather than their genuine joy at having him back with them.
Instead there was just quiet joy and heartfelt apologies and well wishes that Buck graciously accepted. The temporary Captain covering things until Bobby returned from suspension was strict but not unkind about Buck being on light duty. Buck was allowed on calls but relegated to crowd control and manning the hose instead of running into burning building beside Eddie. At the station, his usual mountain of chores diminished sharply to just a few easy tasks while the rest of the burden was divided more fairly among everyone. Buck hated it but understood that he was still healing and that he was being given his fair due.
Athena stopped by one day during lunch, that Buck himself had cooked up, much to everyone's appreciation and updated everyone on Bobby, who was going stir-crazy at him, cooking and baking up a storm, and feeling like absolute crap about everything that happened.
" I think you should all come over for dinner this weekend, you and Bobby need to clear the air before he comes back as your Captain." Athena said gently but firmly.
Buck averted his gaze and stared at the table for a long moment before he let out a deep sigh and then looked up.
" You're right Athena." He said quietly.
A knew anxiety filled everyone, all of them wondering what would happen when Bobby and Buck faced each other for the first time after what Gedeon did.
Before the fateful weekend arrived, Buck forced himself to finally leave the Diaz house and go back to his loft. He didn't know why it felt like he was ripping himself away from his actual home. He was only there for Chris and Eddie only allowed him out of his own sense of guilt. He had a loft, his own place that he had been neglecting. Even when he laid in his own bed at last, sleep would not come, all he could see when he closed his eyes was Chris and Eddie's shared heartbreak as they had watched him leave.
Inevitably the weekend rolled around, and Buck drove himself to Bobby and Athena's house. For a long moment he just sat behind the wheel of his jeep, remembering how the last time he had been to this house, it had been to hand Bobby the papers for his lawsuit himself. Buck's guts churned with his own guilt but also his long festering hurt and anger. Tonight was the night of reckoning and there was no escaping it.
A little while later Buck found himself seated at Bobby and Athena's table, with Eddie sitting steadfast beside him and Maddie on his other side while Hen, Chim, and Athena sat across from them and Bobby sat at the head. No kids tonight, it was just the core 118.
Bobby had greeted Buck warmly, but the young man himself had been stilted and his eyes distrustful. The air was thick with tension as Bobby said grace. Their was a veritable feast set out on the table, many of the dishes were Buck's favorites while others were some of Bobby's best staple items.
Everyone dug in and Buck felt his eyes burn for a moment at his first bite of Bobby's famous chicken casserole. It just tasted so much better when he wasn't sitting at the fringe of the table like he had been at the station for all these past weeks. This entire meal had been prepared with love and care for him, by the man who was the closest thing he had to a father, the same man who had cut him the deepest out of most everyone sitting at this same table now.
The conversations were quiet, Bobby received many compliments, but everyone's eyes constantly darted to Buck, who said nothing and kept his eyes firmly on his plate as he ate. The food was a great buffer, but temporary. Inevitably, the meal came to an end, leaving Buck and Bobby to finally face each other once the dishes were cleared away.
" Let me start by saying thank you for coming to dinner tonight Buck." Bobby said quietly as everyone sat in the den.
" You're welcome." Buck said neutrally.
There was a stilted pause before Bobby sighed deeply and shook his head.
" I am just so, so sorry Evan." He began, only for Buck's eyeball to twitch and the crumbling damn he had up against his emotions to finally shatter.
" You're only sorry now because an asshole shot me with a water canon, I cracked my head open, and then relived one of the worst days of my whole fucking live. If none of that had happened, you would have just continued treating me like fucking dirt. You would have just as gladly kept me as man behind for the rest of my career just to punish me for defying you, for fighting for my right to work and make my own goddamn decisions!" Buck snarled, making everyone else in the room flinch.
" Buck that's not true. For weeks before what Gedeon did I was feeling more and more guilty about the tone I set when you came back, the way I didn't welcome you or hold a party. I was just so hurt and angry, I made some really dumb decisions but right before Gedeon hit you with the cannon, Hen and Chim were both calling me and everyone else out on the way we were treating you. Things were gonna change, it was just the kick in the boots I needed to understand that the behavior I condoned had gone on long enough and then Gedeon did what he did and I just-" Bobby explained only to be cut off by Buck, who didn't look any less angry as he spoke.
" It still took me bleeding on the firehouse floor for you to give a damn Captain. Who knows how many more weeks would have gone by before you finally remembered that I am a fucking human being with feelings, that it isn't my job to keep the whole station clean, that I am not some goddamn child but a grown ass man who had every right to get back to work without you interfering. I trusted you damn it! I trusted you and you literally took my entire support system away from me because you felt guilty and you didn't work it out for yourself. You didn't hold me back to protect me, you did it to make yourself feel better. Did you ever even stop to think about how alone I have felt while I was recovering?" Buck asked with his voice cracking and his eyes glistening before he pushed forward.
" Ali left me, all of you were busy with your own lives and I worked so fucking hard to heal and recertify only for that goddamn embolism to happen, and then everything was snatched away from me. Then I went through a whole fucking tsunami and almost like Chris, but even then I kept going. When I finally asked you for help, you blindsided me by admitting that you were the one who was holding me back. How did that help me in any way Bobby? Yeah I filed that lawsuit and it was probably the wrong move but I won it, I won it and the department was willing to pay me millions to make it go away. I turned it all away because all of you mattered more, getting back to the job and the people I love was all that mattered, but when I did, besides Hen, none of you acted like my family. I risked everything to come back to you and all I got was your glares and your disdain! You all left me behind day after day, replaced me again with that asshole Gedeon like you did with Bosko before, you just didn't let him tape over my name and use my locker since his last name doesn't start with "B" but I wouldn't put it past you to allow that kind of hurtful crap if it had." Buck spat before he turned his glare to the rest of the family.
" Do any of you realize just how much it hurt to hear you all make plans for dinners and get togethers, all without ever once inviting me? Do you know how I felt sitting at home having to see the pictures you all posted of how wonderful at time you all had without me? It never crossed your minds at all that I might see or did you just not care, did you all just want to hurt me over and over again?" Buck asked with his voice steadily growing louder and louder in outrage.
Every single person in the den bowed their heads or averted their gazes. Hen was full on crying while Maddie sobbed and Athena shook her head sadly. Bobby didn't bother to hide his tears while Chim's lip trembled. Eddie just sat with his jaw and fists clenched tight, feeling absolutely horrendous at Buck's angry, hurt questions.
" Why did you have to be so awful to me? Why? I didn't deserve this! I never deserved this! Why Bobby why?" Buck said as with a hitched breath he started to sob uncontrollable.
Bobby couldn't hold back his own sobs as he rushed forward and all but tackled Buck into a bone crushing hug.
" I was scared Buck! I was blaming myself for what happened with your leg and the truck bomb! That kid was after me and you got caught in it and I just felt so guilty, and then the embolism happened and you almost choked to death on your own blood in my backyard, in my arms. After the tsunami I just, I couldn't bear to see you in danger again. I love you so much kid, I love you like a son and I just wanted to keep you safe!" Bobby sobbed.
" Y-You hurt me so bad!" Buck sobbed as he hugged Bobby back, clinging to him hard as everything he had been holding back came flooding out of him.
With his own eyes welling, Eddie couldn't state just sitting there watching Buck finally fall apart. He rushed to his feet and hurried to where Buck and Bobby stood, joining their embrace. Hen and Chim didn't hesitate to follow and wrap their own arms around Buck, surrounding him in physical love and comfort, something he desperately needed even if he was still absolutely furious. Athena and Maddie both shared a tearful look before they got up and joined them, running comforting hands over shaking shoulder and heaving backs, each woman consoling Buck who was at the center of it all and also the others who were just as wrecked as he was.
Again, things didn't magically right themselves after that dinner at Bobby and Athena's, but it was another step in the right direction.
Bobby returned to work with minimal fanfare, everyone pleased to see him back, but wary after what happened.
Right off the bat, Bobby called an assembly of everyone in the station and came clean about everything that had led up to the lawsuit, how it had been his actions that had kept Buck from coming back to full duty due to his own fear and guilt. He promised everyone, not just Buck, that he would never make such decisions and allow the kind of behavior towards Buck after he came back to stand in the firehouse under his watch every again.
Bobby backed his solemn words up with actions as he continued to go to therapy and mandated that everyone attend at least a couple of sessions every month to deal with any negative feelings or awful events they faced in their line of work. Eddie, Hen, and Chim also backed up their own words of apology with action as well.
Chim stopped making such critical and sharp jokes towards Buck and actually got the blue eyed man to laugh at some of his far more funny puns. Hen not only got protective of Buck but looked out for everyone, putting future would be Gedeons in their places, nipping the nonsense in the bud. Eddie secretly quit street fighting and delved deeper into therapy, addressing his unresolved feelings and grief towards Shannon, and trying to forgive himself for how he had treated Buck and also understanding that he was indeed in love with his best friend, not just infatuated or grateful to the man for saving his kid.
What Eddie didn't know was that Buck was in therapy too, with this nice lady named Dr. Copeland who did virtual sessions. She helped him work through his lingering hurt and anger, assuring him that his feels were valid and so was his epic crash out. She helped him understand that he was allowed to grieve the loss of his security and safety within his own life, and that Gedeon had no right to treat him like he had. She also helped Buck admit to himself that he was fully and truly in love with Eddie Diaz, that the man blew all others in Buck's past clean out of the water and that despite how deeply Eddie had hurt him in his own right, Buck wanted him, flaws and all.
Slowly but surely the wounds left by the lawsuit and Gedeon's bullying began to heal. The rifts started to close and the smiles and laughter came more easily. Buck's head wound closed and started to fade, his hair growing out into these adorable blond curls that helped hide the scar, but also had Eddie constantly wanting to run his fingers though them.
It took many months and many set backs and therapy sessions both individually and together, but soon the 118 was more or less back to being the family they loved to be and that Buck deserved. Buck even got another surprised party just randomly one day, a proper welcome back like he should have gotten on Halloween when he first returned. However, there was this subtle tension between Buck and Eddie that hadn't been their before. Their eyes lingered on each other, as would the casual touches, Buck was a constant fixture at the Diaz house again while his own loft started to collect dust a bit. Eddie absolutely hated it whenever Buck left, leaving the house colder without his love and brightness.
It was a balmy summer evening with Eddie sitting in his living room casually dressed in a black tank to and sweats, his knee bouncing lightly and his stomach slightly twisted with the anxiety he was feeling as his eyes kept glancing at the front door. He was waiting for someone who would be arriving imminently.
Eddie all but shot to his feet when he heard the sound of a key being used, something that Buck did regularly with the spare key he had.
" Hey Eds!" Buck said brightly as he stepped through the door.
Eddie felt his heart sing at the sight of his blue eyed best friend, who was dressed casually in jeans and a light gray polo shirt.
" Hey Buck, glad you could make it." Eddie said with a bright grin of his own as he clasped hands with Buck instead of throwing his arms around him like he wanted.
" Where's Chris?" Buck asked as he looked around Casa Diaz.
" Oh, he's at Hen's for a sleep over with Denny." Eddie said as he ushered Buck into the living room.
" Guy's night then." Buck said with a bright laugh that had something hot and feral unfurling in the pit of his stomach.
Eddie quickly quashed down the feeling as he and Buck sat down on the couch and immediately picked up the game controllers, bantering and chuckling as they easy fell into a video game face off.
A whole hour was spent in this bliss, until Buck decided to mess with Eddie by playfully swatting at Eddie's hand as their fighters faced off on the screen.
" Hey that's cheating Buckley!" Eddie cried with a chuckle as Buck stuck his tongue out at him like a child.
When Eddie started to get the upper hand, Buck went a step further and actually lunged at Eddie, trying to grab the controller. Both men were laughing their asses off at the free and childish antics. Then Eddie lunged forward himself to mess with Buck and the wound up falling backwards onto Eddie's sofa, the army veteran ending up looming over his blue eyed best friend.
In an instant the game was forgotten, the music fading to the background as all of Eddie and Buck's attention zeroed in on each other. They were so close they could feel each others breath on their faces, catch the scent of each other's aftershave and feel the heat radiating from their bodies through their clothes. Their eyes bore into each other, unwavering and intense in a way they hadn't ever been before. They were at the precipice together, what they did next would determine the future of their relationship.
They gazed at each other for what seemed like an eternity before something finally snapped between them. As one they rushed towards each other, their lips parting and slotting together as if they were made for each other. Eddie and Buck both groaned as they kissed for the first time, then the second, and the third. Their hands sought each other out, tucking under shirts and waistbands, feeling each other's skin and leaving hot, tingling trails. When the need for air became too much to ignore, they broke apart with a gasp.
Eddie's eyes were black, his pupils blown and Buck was no better with his cheeks flushed and his chest heaving.
With a low rumble, Eddie lashed out and seized Buck, getting up from the sofa and yanking Buck up with him. Buck put up no resistance and moaned as they came together in another deep kiss and started shuffling their way out of Eddie's living room.
A few moments later Buck was falling backwards onto Eddie's bed with his shirt missing. A second later he was groaning and shuddering as an equally shirtless Eddie settled on top of him and started to attack his neck and throat with kisses and his teeth. Buck writhed and moaned under Eddie, his own hands trailing over the other man's powerfully built back and shoulders, over his sharp hips and up and down his muscular arms. They kissed and kissed and kissed some more, chuckling and gasping in between until they grew sober and sought out each other's pants, Buck's hands going to the waistband of Eddie's sweats while Eddie's when to the button of Buck's jeans. They looked at each other, silently asking for permission. When they received it from each other with a blink and an nod, they started to undress each other fully.
A few moments later two pairs of pants and a set of boxers fell discarded to the floor.
Eddie and Buck both moaned unashamedly as they felt each other fully with no more physical barriers between them.
They came together in more kisses and ground against each other, they blood rising and rushing South as one.
The caressed and teased each other, instinct taking over, causing each other pleasure unlike any they had ever felt with anyone else before.
A few moments later Buck's pained cry sounded alongside Eddie's breathy moan as they broke the final barrier together, Eddie sinking into Buck's body, connecting them in the most intimate of ways, right down to their very souls.
They made love for what seemed like the whole night, their bodies undulating in that intimate rhythm, Eddie surging forward and Buck meeting him each time.
Soon the movements began to grown more and more erratic, the cries more desperate and louder as the pressure started to steadily build between them. Buck gasped and shuddered, his head thrashing from side to side and he reached up and gripped Eddie's pistoning hips tightly, Eddie groaning as this caused him to sink intimately deeper into his new lover.
Buck let out a strangled scream as Eddie finally hit that special bundle of nerves with him him and started to hit it over and over again, causing fresh jolts of pure, white hot pleasure to course through his entire body, his toes actually curling as he shuddered violently.
They kisses sloppily, desperately moaning together as their intimate pace quickened until at last, with one final surge forward, they fell over the edge together.
" E-EDDIE!" Buck cried as he arched up magnificently against the other man and went rigid.
" BUCK!" Eddie shouted as every part of him went wire taught and he clung to Buck in a crushing embrace.
They rode out the waves of pleasure until at last they ebbed and the two of them couldn't hold themselves up any longer.
With a shared gasp, Buck and Eddie collapsed onto the latter's bed in a tangled, boneless heap of enervated limbs and heaving chests. When some of his whits returned to him, Eddie groaned and pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down at a dazed Buck. The blue eyed man looked to be in total bliss, a lovely flush to his skin and is soft blond curls askew around his head. Eddie reached up and gently ran his hands through those soft curls, the real thing better than any dream he'd had. Buck's eyes fluttered and he leaned into the contact before he reached up and tenderly cupped Eddie's cheek in return.
" I love you." They both said at the same time, perfectly harmonious.
There was a beat of stunned silence before they both laughed breathlessly and came together in a sweet, lingering kiss. When they drew back, Eddie's expression grew painfully hopeful as he spoke.
" I've hated being here every since you went back to the loft. Nothing feels right, nothing feels good, even Chris feels it." Eddie said before he leaned down and pressed his forehead to Buck's.
" Please come home Carino. Please come back to me and our son." He said softly.
Buck's eyes widened in shock, not at all expecting Eddie to make such a plea, to say such words at all, but with a shaky exhale his whole face crumbled and his eyes filled as he nodded against Eddie's forehead and spoke.
" I hate it at the loft, it's so cold and I am all alone there. I've missed you and Chris every single day even though we see each other at work. You're right Eds, that's not home, home is here with you and Chris. I'll come home, I'll come home." He said before he dissolved into happy tears, Eddie's own eyes filling as he let out a tearful laugh and then leaned in to kiss Buck breathless.
They came up for air a long while later and dragged themselves into the bathroom for a quick shower. After Eddie changed the sheets, blushing furiously while Buck grinned at him as they were both gloriously naked, they climbed under the covers and immediately gravitated to the center of the bed and each other. They face each other, their hands clasped tightly between them. Buck gasped sharply and looked at Eddie with wide eyes as he mind caught him up on what Eddie had said regarding Chris.
" O-Our son?" Buck croaked out.
" Y-Yeah Buck, ours, and Shannon's. You are every bit Chris' parent as I am. You would give your life for him and I want you to be there for him with me for the rest of our lives. He deserves the best and that's you Carino." Eddie replied with his own voice growing thin.
They both chuckled and bit back sobs for a moment, the emotions overwhelming them both before Buck looked up and grinned.
" I'll make you pancakes in the morning." Buck said with a smile as his eyes began to droop.
" With extra chocolate chips?" Eddie asked with a grin, even as he found his heart swelling with fresh love for the man laying across from him.
" Yeah, extra chocolate chips just the way you and Chris love them." Buck said softly, his own heart swelling.
Then came together in a final deep kiss before they wrapped themselves around each other. Eddie made Buck let out a watery little chuckle as he kissed his healed wound on the side of his head, a silent apology for before and a promise to be better. Buck buried his face into Eddie's neck, while Eddie did the same into Buck's curls.
The finally drifted off, safe and together after so much trial and tribulation with the future a bright and shining thing of infinite possibilities ahead of them.
The End.