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r/oldalphas
178k visitors and 10.6k contributors per week
Welcome to r/oldalphas!
This is a safe space for alphas who are on the older side to discuss anything and everything about their secondary sex once they reach a certain age. It is primarily a community for alphas who are 40+ to join in and talk, or even to just navigate the subreddit without saying anything, but it is not restricted to that. We do also encourage that older omegas wiggle their way into the subreddit just for extra advice and to see if any problems alphas have cross over to them also. You never know, you can always find help in places you least expect it! If you are on the younger side, this subreddit can be a good source of information if you have any worries or questions on your mind for when you get older, don’t be afraid to drop by too!
Note: please do not use this space to be disrespectful or to find a mate, this subreddit is solely focused on giving older alphas the help they need if they are too shy to ask for it professionally. Of course, if the help you seek is serious and stretches beyond the expertise of other people, we do encourage that you seek medical help immediately. Even though this can be a good way to seek information, no one here is a medical professional, so if you are not satisfied or still feel as though something is wrong, then acquire the proper help as soon as possible. Do not use this subreddit as a substitute for help and advice given by doctors. It is always best to be safer than sorry!
r/oldalphas
u/cbwolfie • 1d ago
I think my body is totally broken
Okay so, uh, this is really the worst way to phrase this but that’s just how I feel. Broken. And not in a cringy way but in a very literal, so fucking backwards you wouldn’t believe it, type of way. I’m 43, live in Seoul but is currently thinking about moving back to Australia, (which is actually just a fantasy at this point, but a man can dream, right?) and a lot of people by my age have a low libido and their ruts are not as hard hitting. A friend of mine, let’s call him M, has a long term partner and mate named J. M is like me, in his 40s and J is around late 30s. They’re both living quite peacefully and have abandoned the life we all were sucked into when we were younger, all that teen angst and shit, yeah. They’re gone from that, jumped ship into this old-totally-settled-down-now lifestyle. They have two kids, probably gonna have a third on the way, and it’s actually really nice, the sweetness of it all, how relaxing it must be to just be able to dothat. But anyways, it’s safe to say they’ve mellowed out.
I, unfortunately, have gone in the complete opposite direction.
I figured by the time I hit 40 I’d be an old guy who watches movies and starts getting upset when I guess the ending incorrectly. Or, who looks back on his life and thinks about all the shit I’ve done horribly wrong and what I could have done to fix it. Classic end of your rope stuff. But, for some fucked up reason, and I mean fucked up, I have the sex drive of someone who’s just hit puberty.
It’s weird.
At 43 I was expecting erectile dysfunction, but now I can’t keep my dick down and it’s really affecting my day to day life. Even the smell of another omega starts making my brain go all weird and I have to, like, make the excuse that I’m going outside for a smoke just so I can get some fresh air. I quit smoking in my 30s. It’s bad. My knot feels like it’s about to explode and every time I do manage to finish I just feel totally unsatisfied. Is it because I'm not having sex enough? I never really put much time into finding a mate since I was always working, mating runs weren’t my thing and i usually bailed when asked to go on one, plus the only other omega I properly knew and was close friends with at the time was someone I’ve known since childhood and it just wouldn’t be right to start something up with him.
This is so embarrassing. I feel like a teenager again as I write this, but I'm genuinely concerned that something is wrong and if I go to a doctor I have a feeling they’ll just say I’m one of the lucky few older alphas who “don’t lose their sex drive”. Is that it? Am I just lucky? It doesn’t feel that way when I totally lose my shit around omegas, or when I just so happen to think about them— even betas can get me hard. Is that normal?
Please let me know, and don’t laugh at me, I’d really appreciate anything at this point.
TLDR: I’m a 43 male alpha who has a very high sex drive and it’s affecting practically everything I do. I’m worried about it and I feel pathetic even writing this but I’m hoping someone out there has an explanation for me.
[567 ↿ ⇂ 10]
↳ coolerthanu
r u sure ur 43? lol.
↳ dwaekki
41 year old alpha here. I still get bursts of craziness like this so I wouldn’t say it’s a terrible thing, maybe look into when you presented? How everything was prior? If you think of it like a backlog, it could be hitting you full force now if you weren’t really sexually active whenever you presented, could be happening if you presented late too.
↓cbwolfie
I did present late actually, thank you. It was shitty for a while but I don’t remember being like this back then. Could be exactly how you’re describing it, genius.
↳ alphajjjj
maybe it’s time to settle down too, you’re probably extremely pent up, it happens to the best of us, friend.
↳ foxyIN
uhhh I’m still like in my 20s so I should NOT be telling you what is and isn’t, but I truly do believe a lack of sexual activity can cause this? I don’t get horny all the time or just from scents, but I’m not really sexually active so my ruts do come full force, hahaha. Plus, I don’t have a mate so I feel very unsatisfied afterwards as well. Maybe you just have an intense version of this, hyung? :D
↓cbwolfie
God you’re a BABY, and I mean that with total affection by the way. So cute, hahaha. Thank you for this, I’m glad to know I’m not an alien sent down from a UFO to spread a new breed of textbook horny alphas T-T.
Gosh that was nerdy sounding, ignore me.
↓ FoxyIN
Not nerdy hahah, just a bit old (also said with affection). And you’re not an alien, just paying the price for being so caught up in your work way back when. It’s not too late to get out there y’know? Everyone’s always looking for their person, I’m sure someone can tame the beast, lololol.
↓ cbwolfie
Beast? Is that how you think of me, FoxyIN? My heart weakens haha. But, maybe you’re right, yet I can’t imagine myself being half the guy I used to be when I was your age. And even then I never really put myself out there. Relationships weren’t ever something I thought of because I was always wrapped up in my music and what I’m going to do when I need to create more and yeah. I need to stop before I start venting to a literal TWENTY year old on a subreddit, you’re far too young to be hearing my old ass rant on and whatnot. Still, thank you. It’s sweet that you took the time to comment :]
↓ FoxyIN
Silly old man hahaha. No need to be opposed to venting though, I’m a good listener and stuff. And, hey just because I’m young doesn’t mean I can’t relate, I could be living in your struggles for all you know. Not forcing you, but the option is always there :P
↳ wwwxx29
I wish I had this issue at 43 lolol. Most of us are living in a time where popping a knot is a miracle. :’)
r/oldalphas
u/xxjgh • 20 hrs ago
to the horny alpha that posted before this
If this is life when I hit 43 then this is sweet, no complaints from me. I couldn’t imagine being an old dude with a limp dick, fuck no, don’t be ashamed of being horny all the time.
[3 ↿ ⇂ 89]
↳ AJkewl
Insensitive much? This guy is probably seriously worried about his health.
↓ xxjgh
Don’t shoot me dude. I’m just saying I see my future and it’s bright.
↳ bear98
To think that this might happen to you proves you’re young and stupid. That redditors case is pretty rare, most alphas don’t continue to be as sexually active when they’re older much like omegas, ruts and heats aren’t really as hard hitting. He even stated in his post that his friends, who are in the same age range as him, are not like this and have settled down. Let’s use our brains now.
↓ xxjgh
wasted all that time analysing or whatever when I don’t actually care.
↓ www33
is that guy even 43? Prolly just faking it lolol
↓ xxjgh
what would he even gain from that, hahaha. Is it a dare?
↓ www33
Probably. This subreddit is driven by old ass alphas, it’s sad. Could have been dared to make them feel smth by pretending he has issues. Hahah.
↓ xxjgh
Lame ass dare. I’d rather do that in r/oldomegas. At least there’s something to gain.
↳ FoxyIN
I’ve noticed your comments here and to that I say leave him alone? He’s just expressing concern for himself, you never know if that could be you when you’re older.
↓ xxjgh
Boo. Don’t be such a loser. He decided to tell a bunch of other alphas he gets hard all the time. Not my fault.
↓ FoxyIN
It’s a simple concern. You shouldn’t be so affected by it.
↓ xxjgh
Lolol. Go help him with his dick issues then if you’re so quick to defend him. Alpha on Alpha isn’t illegal anymore, hahaha.
Google Search
Older alphas being extremely horny
Should I see a doctor if my sex drive is high at 40?
Late presenting side effects
Does presenting at 21 make you horny later in life?
how to feel satisfied after a rut
Nearest shake shack
r/oldalphas
u/cbwolfie • 12 hrs ago
more information about me
So, I saw the other posts on here that I can only assume are about me (which I’m 99% sure are as one was explicitly DIRECTED to me) and I’ve decided to just dump some more information to make everything clearer. It’s currently 9 pm and I’ve been chowing down a burger with an awesome vanilla milkshake so bear with me, okay?
I presented at 21. Crazy, I know. I actually thought it wasn’t ever going to happen considering people usually start showing signs at around 12 onwards before they fully start presenting at 18. I had no signs and had assumed I was just a beta, which was fine, it meant less stress for me and that I could focus on my music a lot more. But, it didn’t last, I just sort of got catapulted into a rut at my friend's house (M if you remember him) and was apparently trying to maul his at the time girlfriend, who after had explicitly refused to be within ten feet of me, I’m so sorry. That was truly traumatic for everyone, I was scared of myself for a while after that, restricted everything I did and didn’t really let myself talk to other omegas. As said before I only really knew one before J came along, and I never put myself out there, afraid of what could happen if I tried.
It’s safe to say that none of this helped back then, yet I still can’t remember anything being as bad as it is now. Everything feels amped up to a hundred. I'm more aware of how I smell, my scent, and I don’t like it— plus all the desires I feel are just so, so wrong on so many levels. I shouldn’t be so sex crazed. It’s not normal.
I’m not a virgin, which is crazy to say after talking about how much I restricted myself and stuff. But, no. I have had sex, once, and it was with a really cute beta who I met at a video store in ‘05. He was trying his hardest to sell me this old dvd player that was busted to hell, and the little frown he had on his face when I was trying to fight him off made my heart sort of melt. I’ll call him X, perfect he was. When I said we had sex once I was sort of lying, it was probably a few times after, but through the rest of it I was high so the memories are kinda fuzzy. Never told him I was a virgin, he seemed a lot more experienced and I wasn’t going to have him run off with his metaphorical ears standing to attention. I feel kind of like an asshole about it, I shouldn’t have pretended to be something I wasn’t— and maybe X knew, because on our first time together it must have been obvious I had no clue what I was doing. If he did know then he never mentioned it.
I don’t know where he went after our lives separated us. Last I heard from an old friend, he was out in Busan somewhere, made a good name for himself with his acoustic. I haven’t looked him up, I’d feel like a creep if I had.
But, yeah. Presented at 21. Lost my virginity to a beta in ‘05. What else is there? Idk. This burger is good though, had to take the tomato out. Yuck.
Oh also, I’ve never been with an omega. If I’m being brutally honest X was really the only sexual aspect in my life, after him I just didn’t bother. We weren’t in love or anything, but I think my drive wasn’t as off the scales as it is now, so I never sought it out. Music took up most of my time, I was addicted to opening up fl studio and just fucking around back then, and I did adapt over the years and developed my beats into stuff that’s so much better. That doesn’t matter though. I haven’t ever been with an omega. During my ruts for the longest time I’ve always relied on toys to get me through it, which could probably lead to why I’m so unsatisfied but who knows.
Gave up smoking in my 30s, but that feels like it’d hinder my libido rather than make it skyrocket, so maybe I should pick it up again.
Also, to that other post on the subreddit, I’m not lying or fucking around and this really isn’t something you’d want to have when you’re my age; unless you wanna look like a creepy old guy. Which I’m not, by the way. Truly.
I guess that’s it? Now that I’ve laid out all my cards it kinda makes sense why I’m like this, I didn’t do myself any justice back then. But, I hope everyone else understands now too. Thanks for all the help on my last post, it really made me less anxious, haha.
[1,234 ↿ ⇂ 24]
↳ bear98
Never been with an omega? That could be the answer to a lot of this, you definitely just haven’t satisfied yourself and your “wolf” is showing you that.
↓ cbwolfie
hahaha probably, I’m paying the price for being stupid back then T-T
↳ wwwxxz87
This life sounds awful, no offence. Get out there before it’s too late dude.
↳ FoxyIN
It’s me again! This clears up a lot, haha. I’m assuming the late presentation and the lack of being with an omega has really got your hormones going wild. I’m sure if you find the right person it will calm down though, could just be a temporary rough patch.
↓ cbwolfie
FoxyIN! Hey, nice to see you back here. I think you’re right to be honest, I didn’t do myself justice back then, but I wasn’t expecting to be hit by a mack truck in my 40s.
↓ dwaekki
To be honest you can see a positive side to it though, at least you still have time to settle down and stuff. A lot of people by now would be having trouble knotting, or would be burnt out entirely. You still got some fire in you, I know it. We ain’t old but we aren’t what we used to be :(
↓ FoxyIN
It sucks, I’d still consider you both pretty young.
↓ dwaekki
Cute. Thank you, unfortunately being an alpha (or an omega for that matter) just leaves you tired by the time you’re in your late 30s early 40s, plus by then you’ll have a mate and you’d most likely leave all that mating run stuff and the fucking around behind. Have kids and all that.
↓ cbwolfie
I wish I was tired. I mean I am, but I ain’t down there. Which sounds so weird omgomgomg I’m sorry.
↓ FoxyIN
HAHAH, wolfie that’s…right.
↓ dwaekki
Silly silly. But yeah, to be honest this is the least crazy thing I’ve seen on this subreddit, so you’re fine. And in regards to everything, I wouldn’t stress about it too much, your body will probably take the hint soon enough and calm down.
↓ cbwolfie
Hoping that’s the case. You guys are amazing, truly. It’s made me feel less loser-ish when posting here, not that the people that post here are losers. I just think my case makes me feel pathetic, haha. If you want, we could exchange emails? Chat somewhere, idk.. maybe I’m asking for a bit too much considering I’m a stranger but I may as well try and make some friends, I’m sick of third wheeling M and J.
↓ FoxyIN
You guys got something like instagram? I could make group chat with all of us?
↓ dwaekki
Sure. I go by spearb on there!
↓ cbwolfie
Let me set up an account.. I fear I’ve always been a Facebook warrior. I’ll make it with the same user ^^
↓ FoxyIN
Take your time :P
First Name: Christopher
Last Name: Bahng
Account Name: cbwolfie
Email Address: [email protected]
Password: *********
10:45 pm
yangzinnie has created a group chat.
yangzinnie has named the group chat old alphas assemble
spearb: only two of us are old
spearb: false advertising
yangzinnie: well
yangzinnie: im old spiritually
yangzinnie: does that count?
spearb: what’s got you feeling wilted? :(
cbwolfie: if you’re feeling withered now then oh boy
cbwolfie: don’t hit forty any time soon..
yangzinnie: okay don’t scare me now
yangzinnie replied to: what’s got you feeling so wilted? :(
↳ life.
yangzinnie: and dance practice actually.
yangzinnie: dance makes me feel like im old already
spearb: oh shit you’re a dancer?
spearb: that’s awesome
cbwolfie: I used to love dancing and making music so I get you
cbwolfie: feel like my knees would give out if I tried now though
yangzinnie: HAHA
yangzinnie: Nono I doubt that actually
yangzinnie: rebuked. you’re only 43
cbwolfie: 43.. good lord..
cbwolfie: isn’t that twice your age?
yangzinnie: well im 22 so
yangzinnie: basically ig
cbwolfie: TWENTY TWO
cbwolfie: now i feel mega old, when you said twenties i was expecting maybe 25? 26?
cbwolfie: 22… omg…
spearb: im almost twice ur age actually
spearb: 41 here
cbwolfie: good lord thank you
cbwolfie: forty club lets go
yangzinnie replied to: now i feel mega old, when you said twenties i was expecting maybe 25? 26?
↳ are you implying i give off a more mature vibe?
yangzinnie: but it’s okay you guys don’t feel old to me <3
spearb: is forty even really that old?
spearb: i mean just because we get worn out by then doesn’t mean we’re like old hags..
yangzinnie: exactly
yangzinnie: 40s is still prime era
yangzinnie: not a silver fox just yet
cbwolfie: don’t even, i had a grey hair like last week
spearb: i had a few but i dyed it
spearb: not ready to let the salt and pepper hair take me
yangzinnie: T-T
yangzinnie: what colour did you dye it?
spearb: black..
yangzinnie: classic, i did mine brown not so long ago, was ginger for a while too
cbwolfie: cute
cbwolfie: mines blonde again
cbwolfie: i don’t think ive been blonde since my 20s
spearb: you should show us some time
spearb: i bet it looks good on you
yangzinnie: blonde is a nice choice
yangzinnie: but the damage is crazy
cbwolfie: don’t even get me started omg
cbwolfie: a friend of mine, Felix, istg his hair is damaged beyond repair
yangzinnie: yikessss
yangzinnie: he should probably cut it if it’s long then, get rid of the frazzled bits and stuff
cbwolfie: i tell him to but he’s very peculiar about his long hair
cbwolfie: he doesn’t really like having it short anymore
cbwolfie replied to: you should show us some time
↳ i can, but what i can’t do is take selfies, i feel a bit awkward.
spearb: tell me about it
spearb: a close friends daughter of mine made fun of my attempts
spearb: she taught me how to hold the camera though, not too close to the face
yangzinnie: you guys don’t know how funny this is
yangzinnie: you’re not old but yet you guys are, like, prehistoric
spearb: like what you said
spearb: we are old spiritually
cbwolfie: hnnnnhg
cbwolfie: who knew angles mattered so much
cbwolfie: okay i have a good one
cbwolfie: [sent an image]
spearb: cute
spearb: fuck, is that shake shack behind you?
cbwolfie: STOP
cbwolfie: omg that’s embarrassing
spearb: nah
spearb: i’d kill for a shake shack holy
spearb: hehe, hyungie~ would you take me?
yangzinnie: boy
yangzinnie replied to: [sent an image]
↳ blonde really suits you
yangzinnie: i like it
cbwolfie: thank you!
cbwolfie replied to: hehe, hyungie~ would you take me?
↳ are you in Seoul? hahaha
spearb: well
spearb: actually, i am
cbwolife: no way
spearb: yeah
spearb: i run a gym here
spearb: dwaekki gym
cbwolfie: holy crap that’s awesome
cbwolfie: i work out a bit as well
yangzinnie: i go to a uni here
yangzinnie: if you’re going to shake shack you better let me tag along
spearb: hell yeah
spearb: he can get us a discount
cbwolfie: he’s 22..
spearb: but his face is cute so im assuming they’ll give in
yangzinnie: ??
yangzinnie: using me for discounted food
yangzinnie: im hurt
cbwolfie: ignore him
cbwolfie: come for the company
cbwolfie: the more the merrier
spearb replied to: i work out a bit too
↳ you should visit the gym some time then
spearb: i can send the address
cbwolfie: that’d be nice, yeah
spearb: here, one sec
spearb: [address]
spearb: is it close by?
cbwolfie: only half an hour
cbwolfie: i’ll surprise you some time
yangzinnie: one day when im ready to work out ill drop by too
spearb: you’re both welcome
spearb: plus it’s not too late to start, uhhh
spearb: what’s your guys’ names? i fear that’s a good starter before we do eventually plan things
yangzinnie: how could i forget hdhsaka
yangzinnie: im Jeongin :P
spearb: awesome
spearb: im Changbin
cbwolfie: im Christopher
cbwolfie: but no one actually calls me that
cbwolfie: Chris or Chan is fine
cbwolfie: it’s mostly Chan though
yangzinnie: Channie
yangzinnie: Channie hyung hahah
cbwolfie: hdhshs
cbwolfie: hahaha
spearb replied to: im Christopher
↳ can i ask where you’re from? Nice name ofc
cbwolfie: im Australian haha
spearb: ahh i see
spearb: it’s hot there, no?
cbwolfie: fucking boiling
cbwolfie: I haven’t been there in a while but gosh the heat
yangzinnie: i don’t even want to imagine it
yangzinnie: i would melt
cbwolfie: probably, haha
cbwolfie: im used to it but going there after living in Korea for so long can be a big slap in the face
spearb: i bet
spearb: you planning to go back?
cbwolfie: i want to
cbwolfie: don’t think it’ll ever happen though
cbwolfie: not long term at least
spearb: ah man
spearb: that sucks
cbwolfie: kinda, but Korea is also my home so I can’t complain
cbwolfie: i got people here, yk?
cbwolfie: i wouldn’t want to abandon them
yangzinnie: you’re sweet
yangzinnie: i don’t know if i can relate entirely since my home is like 2 hours from here depending on what transport you take
yangzinnie: but sometimes i do miss Busan
cbwolfie: home is home no matter how far
cbwolfie: and yeah, missing everything does get rough
spearb: i don’t think ive ever moved out of Korea
spearb: grew up in Uiwang, later moved to Seoul
spearb: been here ever since
cbwolfie: sometimes that’s better
cbwolfie: moving around can be scary
yangzinnie: i remember being terrified to leave home
yangzinnie: replacing something i was used to for something new was just
yangzinnie: hard :(
spearb: you’re tough though
spearb: you got through it which is good
spearb: and going to a uni in Seoul is awesome
cbwolfie: yeah you’re doing great
yangzinnie: ahh thank you
yangzinnie: omg
yangzinnie: the chat just got extremely deep
yangzinnie: my roommate is calling me for a late ass dinner so im gonna have to bail
cbwolfie: eat well innie :D
spearb: send a pic of the food too
spearb: im hungry
yangzinnie: haha thanks and will do
yangzinnie: plus, you should really eat Changbin hyung
cbwolfie: sending you a virtual burger
spearb: ooooo
spearb: drooling
cbwolfie: hahaha
cbwolfie: bye innie!
yangzinnie: byee :P
r/oldalphas
u/cbwolfie • 56 mins ago
totally unwanted update
So it’s safe to say my time on this subreddit has been quite crazy. Yeah. If M found out I was on here spilling my guts out he’d slap me upside the head and dig into my sides until I apologised for not going to him first. Although, he’s always had a feeling I’ve been struggling with something, just not something as weird and dumb as this. The advice here has been mixed, but mostly great, and I’ve decided to visit a doctor despite my opposition to it two posts before this one (queue a voice sounding much like M persuading me to do so). I think it’s better to be safe, I could be thinking it’s just some crazy sex drive I have, which is what I was certain the doctor would say, but if there’s even a slight chance something bad was going on I’d like to know before it’s too late.
In a more blunter choice of words: if I'm going to die, I’d prefer it not to be a surprise.
It seems pretty wild, yeah, I know, but then again the whole fucking thing is wild and idk, it could be something serious. Also, I’ve met a few knew people recently and I have people from my life prior that I couldn’t bear to lose, or to die without saying stuff— so if I am gonna be on a timer at least I’ll know when it runs out so I can get everything off my chest as quickly as possible.
Maybe I’m just overthinking it after having a deep conversation, which is about 90% of the truth; but this subreddit also encourages further help from doctors if I’m extremely worried and I really fucking am. So I guess I should just rip the band aid off and book an appointment.
Thanks so much again, I appreciate all the advice I’ve accumulated here, and if anyone else has a similar problem, I hope my posts can be of some use.
Bye (for now???)
- wolfie