Archive of Our Own

Simon sits in the corner of the lab reading. It's all he really can do while Grace and Rocky do the math and science about getting them to Erid. They had just ran back to Rocky and got him from a fuelless Blip-A.

Grace and Rocky were figuring out how to get the heavy and deadly metals out of Rocky's food so its consumable by them (Simon has tried mentioning the idea that maybe he could eat it due to the fucked up eel mutations but Grace shot it down).

Either way, Simon scrolls the internet. Or the archive of what was the internet from 20+ years ago. There are different studies of the human psyche, how trauma affects the brain. Probably 15 different tabs open of posts from actual people talking about their experiences living in a cult. He comes across a few that were in similar or even the same cult.

Ones that had them grow their hair long and never let them cut it.

Which made him fall down yet another rabbit hole of hair and how it can affect the psyche too. He reads an article about how hair can sometimes hold memories. It's nothing but speculation. A concept. A spiritual one specifically. His hair is down to his shoulders. It brushes against his marred shoulder more often than the other one.

He reads for hours about different people's experiences around memories and their hair. One woman said she cut her hair when her father died and it helped her with the grieving process. She said it “felt like starting anew”. He also reads about people who are more spiritually inclined and what they do. Cutting their hair each Earth season, doing trims on full or new moons, and big chops on their birthday.

Well, Simon doesn't know his birthday. At least not on the Earth calendar. Father had called it “a rare occurring day”. There are no moon cycles. Not until they get to Erid (even then he doesn't think he could see the moon) and there are no seasons.

There are, however, a lot of memories held on his shoulders. He knows he will never let go of them entirely. They are a part of his psyche the way his scars are a part of his physical being. He cannot get rid of them nor change them in any way. He hasn't come to terms with it just yet, but he's sure 4 years in space will help him out a bit.

He looks up from his tablet over to Grace and Rocky. They've gone quiet and are working on their respective projects. Simon knows Grace has to have at least scissors somewhere. Maybe ‘Armando' has clippers he could use.

Was he really going to do it? Was he going to cut his hair?

Maybe a little?

His mother loved his hair. How it would curl in some places and be wavy in others. She loved braiding it. Running her fingers through it. Simon can barely remember her face nor the feeling of her fingers through it.

What he can remember, is having that hair pulled and being dragged along the ground with it. Fighting off COI soldiers and having it used to their advantage. He remembers his brothers, grabbing a fistful whenever he annoyed them. Father used to run his hands through it as well. He never liked it when he did it.

He remembers his hair sticking to his face, covered in blood. It got in his eyes a lot when he was in that sub. He had to throw it back into a bun. Simon tries not to think too much about it. Grace and him have spent hours just chatting about their respective missions. Their suicides. Their executions.

The more he thinks about it, the more he can feel his scalp itch. The more he wants to do it. He should sleep on it. Try and think about it a little longer than just a few hours. Actually sit down with himself and have a discussion. Does he really want to cut off his hair? It took him so long to grow in general. It doesn't grow very fast. He'd be stuck bald for years-

“Whatcha doing, Simon?” Simon looks up from where he's started to pull drawers from the dormitory. Grace leans in the doorway, sweater on his shoulders and a tired look in his eyes.

“Looking for scissors.”

“How come?” It's not said in an accusatory way. In fact, it's said with a yawn halfway through. Grace just asks questions. Curious questions not because he's accusing but because he genuinely wants to know.

“I- I want to cut my hair.”

This causes Grace to pause in rubbing his eyes under his glasses. He fixes them back on his face and gives Simon a look. Simon is normally good at reading people but this is one of those Grace Looks that he can't exactly tell the intent behind.

“Is it bothering you? I'm not the best at haircuts but I can help give you a trim?”

Simon grips the cabinet door he just opened, looking through the content, “No. No, I want to cut it all off. Start- Start fresh.” Simon turns away from Grace and continues looking. There's a soft shuffling behind him and the whirring of mechanics.

Then the sound of clippers turns on and off.

Simon turns over and sees Grace already taking off his sweater, revealing a goofy science nerd shirt underneath. It's the one with two beakers, one overflowing and the other with a little speech bubble of ‘i think you're overreacting’ above it. Grace sets his sweater to the side and grabs the clippers again. Grace gives him that soft smile he has when tired.

Simon makes his way over slowly, still debating if he actually wants to do this. Grace waits for him to sit down on the edge of one of the spare beds before moving around behind him.

Simon can't help how he tenses when Grace runs his fingers through his hair. There’s a silent pause as Simon just breathes. Grace continues to run his fingers through Simon's hair. Then he turns on the clippers. The buzzing is deafening to Simon. Grace doesn't cut his hair just yet.

He doesn't know if he can do this. He doesn't know why he can't do it. It's just hair. It'll grow back. It'll grow back better and stronger and thicker- thick with blood. No. Plastered on his skin and uncomfortably warm. No. No blood here. His hair is dry. There's no blood. Nothing there. Grace has had his hand settled on the back of Simon's neck this whole time.

Simon slowly opens his eyes. He doesn't know when he closed them, but he opens them nonetheless. He forces his shoulders to relax. He does the breathing exercises Grace had taught him and worked through with him.

After a few minutes, Simon takes a deep breath.

“Do it.” He whispers it into the room. Quiet. Just barely heard over the clippers that are still on and have turned into a dull background noise.

“Okay.” Grace gives Simon's hair a small squeeze before moving the clippers close. He starts at the back of Simon's head. Moving up the sides to give Simon time to back out. Simon hears the clippers and feels them coming close to his ear. He squeezes his eyes shut once more. The hair detaches from him and falls to floor.

It just falls.

Nothing more.

No blood. Nothing explosive.

The hair just falls.

Grace goes for a second pass and Simon leans into the feeling. Pass after pass, more and more of Simon's hair falls to the floor of the dormitory. He shivers when Mary's vents circulate and he feels the cold air on his bare scalp.

Within 5 minutes, Grace shuts the clippers off.

Simon feels-

He feels lighter.

Both physically and emotionally.

Grace still has a hand on his shoulder. His thumb is rubbing soothing circles there.

A few more minutes, the silence is broken up by Grace yawning.

“Oh boy. I'm sorry. Let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Get in the shower and wash all the hair off. That cannot be comfortable.”

Grace gives Simon's shoulder one last squeeze before letting go to clean up. Simon finally reaches up and runs a hand over his now buzzed head. It's an odd feeling. Not bad though. Simon likes it. He looks around where he sits and sees all the hair just laying around.

He's slow to get up. The weightlessness settles on him. He can't really explain it. He moves to the water recycling station and takes his shirt off. He spends a while just cleaning himself up. Running water across his head and shoulders to get rid of all of the little hairs that Grace couldn't brush off fully.

He comes back to the dormitory clean and Grace getting their nest ready to start a movie (and fall asleep to). The mentioned man looks up when Simon enters and gets a beautiful dusting of pink across his cheeks at Simon still shirtless.

Simon opts to stay like that and settles down beside Grace. Grace hands him his tablet. The camera app is open and currently is facing Grace due to how he's handing over the tablet. Simon reaches over and grabs it without hesitation. He turns it towards himself and holds it up.

He doesn't look bad. It's even at least.

He turns his head this way and that. It's not coming back. It's all gone now.

Simon settles his tablet down and looks over to see Grace looking at him. He's leaning back against the xenonite tunnels, arm up with his cheek on his fist. He's looking over his glasses and has this dopey grin on his face.

Simon scrunches his nose, "What's that look for?”

“You look good.”

“Grace stupid when no sleep. Go to sleep. Meant to be sleeping 1,380 seconds ago.” Rocky tumbles through the tunnels and stops just above Grace. “Why Grace Simon hearts race, question?”

They both look down at each other from where they had turned towards Rocky when he entered. Grace just smiles a little more and sinks further into the blanket nest. Simon falls asleep as he usually does, sitting up with his arm crossed over his chest holding onto his opposite shoulder. He'll wake up as he usually does as well, clinging onto Grace and his head on his chest.

Week 1

Simon can't stop running his hand over his head. It's not because he regrets it. Nope, he's actually quite happy with his decision. It's actually because it feels weird.

Like a good weird. The feeling on his scalp and his hand is satisfying. Sometimes when he's sitting next to Grace in the lab, Grace will even reach over and scratch the back of his head or run his hand over his head.

He doesn't think there's much growth happening, but it has only been a week. He can't expect his hair to grow back fully in a week. He doesn’t even know why it's a thought.

Almost every night, he'll open the camera app on his tablet and look at himself. The scarring on his left side is still there. Hair still buzzed. Nothing has changed and time is still going.

Week 6

Healing isn't linear. Healing isn't linear. Healing isnt linear or whatever the fuck those articles said.

He's panicking. He can feel every bone in his body shake as he tries to breathe. He cant pull his hair cause he doesnt fucking have any. He has no way for the aggression and need for feeling to come out other than scratching himself.

Grace has already grabbed his remaining hand though and has it secured between his own. They're both panicking. Which is not good.

Simon doesn't even remember what triggered it. Just one minute he was leaned over listening to Grace explain some of his science, the next he blinked and he was back there. His arm was burning and he lashed out.

Grace still hasn't said how they got from the lab to the corner of the cockpit huddled together with Grace shaking just as much as him. Simon doesn't want to know if he hurt Grace, but he also does. He wants to know so that he can atone for it. He doesn't like hurting people. Never did.

Grace lifts his head to him, eyes and cheeks red with tears. Simon wants to reach out and wipe them away but his only hand is currently preoccupied.

“Did I hurt you?” The question is whispered between them.

“No. But you scared me.” The answer is whispered back. Grace scoots closer to him and untangles one of his hands from Simon's to press it against his chest. They stay there. Grace feeling Simon's heartbeat. Before both just breathing and almost collapsing against each other.

They'll talk later. How Simon was there for one minute then gone. How he moved without knowing where he was going. How he had grabbed Grace on the back of the neck and he somehow threw Simon (explains the small bruise on his side). How it sent them both into a spiral that ended up with them chasing down the Hail Mary into the cockpit. The highest point of the ship. In the corner. For safety or something. Grace can't even explain well what happened. Just that Simon had an episode and it triggered an episode in Grace. They can't even ask Rocky what he saw, the Eridian has been asleep not even an hour.

Simon hates how easy it was for his mind to slip back. He hates how he spent so long trying to fix himself. Hes read so many articles about psychology and the human mind. How it reacts to different traumas. He doesn't have access to a therapist but he has countless of articles and self help and the internet with other people's experiences.

But.

But healing isnt linear. He'll have ups and downs for the rest of his life. So will Grace. Hes witnessed a few of Grace's downs.

They have each other though. To hold. To laugh. To cry. They have each other and Rocky to help through the bad and make memories with the good.

Week 32

His hair has become long enough to sink fingers in, but not enough to pull back. It's just at that length where it's in his eyes every time he bends down, but not long enough he can pull it back and keep it out of the way.

He grumbles to himself as he waters plants in the Hail Mary's greenery room and his hair once again pokes him in the eye. He huffs to himself and stands up straight.

He cleans up and makes sure the plants are alright before heading back to the dormitory. Rocky trills from where he's watching over Grace sleep when Simon walks in. He tries to be quiet as he starts his search.

Despite working on a xenonite project (Rocky refuses to tell Simon what it is), he can feel the Eridian watching him. He knows Rocky is hyper aware of what he's doing. It still freaks him out a little how much Rocky can “see”.

He gives a quiet ‘aha’ huff when he finds what he was looking for. He's seen Grace use it every so often on the days he's overstimulated by everything around him. He grabs the metal hairband and pushes it into his hair. He taps Rocky's ball before heading back to the plant room and finishes repotting a few plants into xenonite pots. It strangely helps with the growth and quality of the plants.

Week 52

It's been a year since Simon cut his hair. It's not back to its original length, but it's getting close. Grace has given him a few trims and helped clean it up a few times. Grace's own hair has been getting shaggy lately but Grace says he wants to grow it out as well.

They still have a little over 3 years before they make it to Erid. Every day Grace is calculating their food reserve and how much they need to make the journey. They have yet to be able to do anything with Rocky's food. The garden is growing at a fast rate, but not exactly fast enough. Just barely.

Simon can go days without eating and be fine. Grace hates it when he does it but months of testing shows Simon can survive it. Thank fuck for awkward mutations from a blood ocean and growing up in a resource scarce environment.

Their bed nest in the dormitory has only grown lately. Rocky had made some changes to his xenonite tunnels so that the blankets can be in a more nestled area. Which means Rocky has taken up more of the dormitory. Simon doesn't know if it was on purpose or not.

Simon's hair curls a lot more than it used to. He wakes up to it being just a ball of fluff on top of his head. It sticks up every which way. He doesn't mind it. He can throw half of it back up. He likes that hair style. It makes Grace blush.

Week 86

Disaster strikes. Almost 2 years into their journey to Erid, and disaster strikes.

Simon had to cut his hair again. He was an idiot. It was his fault.

His hair was long enough to throw into a full ponytail and he loved it being long like that. Grace would run his fingers through it and pull on it. He would braid it and play with it any chance he got.

Of course Simon can't have good things.

He had his hair half up and got too close to the hot plate. Within minutes, most of his hair was gone and he was sitting on the floor of the lab with Grace behind him on a stool with the clippers.

“Are you sure you want all of it gone again? We can just shave down the side and keep most of the length.” Grace runs his fingers through the hair that remains. Simon can feel tears building as he does so. He spent so long growing that hair and with the dwindling food resources for the rest of the journey, he doesn't know if his body will have the strength or health to grow it the same.

“Yeah. Just shave it all down. It won't grow evenly otherwise.”

Grace's hand sneaks around and wraps around Simon's chest. Grace hugs him close between his legs. Simon leans back into him and cries silently.

“I can cut min-”

“If you do that, I'm not speaking to you until it grows back, Angel.”

Grace laughs into his remaining hair and turns to press a kiss there. Simon leans into the feeling and sighs. He finally pulls away begrudgingly and sits up straight.

“Do it.”

The clippers turn on and the sound bleeds into the background as Grace makes the first few passes. His scalp gets colder and lighter. He mourns the loss of his hard work, but is also excited for the time to come to see it grow again.

He immediately runs his hand over his head when Grace is done and Grace does the same, making their hands bump with the rush to do it. They laugh softly at each other as they rub Simon's once again bare head. Still an oddly satisfying feeling.

Week 6 (92)

Simon can't stop running his hand along his head. He already misses when he could run his fingers through and down. The softness of the curls. It's not going back as fast as he wants it to.

Grace still offers to cut his own for solidarity. Simon still tells him that he would rather rip off his other arm than Grace get rid of his hair.

He can't help but feel like he was forced to start over. Which is ridiculous because he wasn't. Grace didn't force him to do anything. If anything he forced himself, which is ridiculous. How do you force yourself to do something you don't want without any outside influence?

He still takes care of the plants. Still drags himself across the Hail Mary even on the worst of days. He even makes sure Grace gets up on those days. Rocky does his best to keep his humans up and moving but he can only do so much from his tunnels.

Rocky was building him an arm. Simon could tell from the joint work he was doing and the fact that Rocky doesn't close out his research tabs when using the laptop. He's been working at it for a while now. Simon is guessing he's trying to get everything right on the first try.

The lack of hair gives Simon an odd feeling. He feels off balance. Cold. Naked. He can feel the wind on his scalp in a way he hasn't for a while. It causes shivers to go down his spine.

All that work for what? Nothing.

Week 34 (120)

Simon is back to having that headband in his hair. It's a little shorter than it was 2 years ago. His hair isn't growing as fast but it's still to the point where it gets in his eyes and he can't do more than throw a headband on it.

He continues to read on his tablet. His new xenonite arm is still being fine tuned. So he just has it resting to the side. The Eridians have some wicked science. Apparently once they get to Erid, they can basically connect the arm to his nervous system more efficiently. At the moment, it's just connected via electrodes reading his muscles from the outside so it's rather clunky and takes a few seconds to respond.

Grace is close by. His foot is touching Simon's thigh (always touching each other). He's on his laptop writing a paper. Grace has spoken on how he doesn't need to write the research paper but it's in his nature to do so. So he is. It reminds him of his academia days. He had shared the story of how he got kicked out.

Simon can barely imagine the teacher saying damn it takes him a minute to even imagine him saying something harsh in general.

There was video evidence however and Simon and Rocky dug through the internet archives to find it and watch it. Simon absolutely refuses to tell Grace how attracted he is to him.

They're not together but not not together. They cuddle in their nest every night. Have been for some time. It helps with nightmares having someone right there to calm you down. They hold hands. Touch any chance they can get. Grace has a hand or something reached towards Simon at any given point. Simon the same. To remind themselves it's real. It's true. They're alive.

They've had so many other things to think about rather than putting a label on themselves. They just sort of slotted in place together.

Grace keeps his hair trimmed, but he lets it grow a little more as time goes on. There's a small braid in the back of his head. It's crude. Done with one flesh and one barely responding metal hand. Grace hasn't taken it down. Simon doesn't want him to.

If only he wasn't an idiot and his hair was longer, Grace could braid it back.

It's not though. It's not longer. It's short again. It was burned off because Simon couldn't just look where he was leaning.

It's shorter.

He can't do anything about it now. He can't do anything, except let it grow. He can take care of it, and himself, and let it grow healthy. Strong. Curly. Long enough Grace can push his fingers through, and tug.

Week 142 (56)

A year passes since his second cut and Simon barely notices it. He's too busy taking care of the garden that decided to just burst to thriving life overnight. Grace doesn't know how it happened. Rocky doesn't know how it happened. Simon says it's a miracle.

The cut on his hand stings as it heals.

Grace was losing weight. Too fast. They were running out of food. Simon needed to do something. So he did what he was taught. He gave sacrifice to the roots. Grace will yell at him later, but for now he's harvesting the vegetables and fruits and making a genuine meal. Before they would have maybe one vegetable every few months. Now they have enough to last them a little longer.

A little over a year is left on their journey to Erid. The Hail Mary has been going steady. Minimal repairs or stops needed in their journey. They had one close call with an asteroid but Simon had managed to steer them clear.

His hair- he hasn't really thought of his hair. Its back to a decent length. Not long enough, but also Simon knows it'll grow back. Hes careful with it now. He ties it back and holds it when hes leaning over something.

Its not as soft, but that could be because both him and Grace aren't getting the right nutrients day by day. Theyre getting enough but its just under what they need. Simon is used to the lack of resources and with his mutations, hes been fine to cut down. Grace is not and is struggling a bit more.

Simon takes his time to care for his lover.

Yes. His lover.

His angel. His sunshine.

His Grace.

They didn't have a conversation, per se, but theyve had plenty of early mornings in each other's arms. Softly discussing their nightmares. One such night ended in Grace pulling his head from Simon's chest and Simon being the one to close the gap between them.

Since then, they've kissed a few times. Hands have wandered a few times but they never felt the need to do much past. They were content where they were.

Simon runs a hand through his hair, long enough now to be thrown back. It still curls and is once again just a fluff ball when he wakes up. Grace loves it. Sleepy mornings include Grace just petting through Simon's hair.

He looks at his pride and joy. His garden. Rocky has had to make him more xenonite pots. He promises when they get to Erid they can synthesize soil so much easier. They're running low on the Hail Mary. He smiles as he turns towards the door where Grace leans. They have a date night that night. Movie night while Rocky sleeps. Simon reaches out and pulls Grace into a kiss.

It lasts for a little longer than normal, and neither man complains. They do finally part and make their way to the dormitory. Grace runs his fingers through his hair as they settle down and adds a small braid to the back. One to match his own.

Week 182 (96)

“When during human mating make offspring, question?”

Simon and Ryland have to try really hard not to choke and throw up the taumeba soup. It's a few months before they make it to Erid. Rocky has been getting impatient and antsy. They're already working on getting a radio signal set up to speak with Erid once they're close enough (a few weeks out).

“We haven't even- Rocky that's not how it works-” Ryland has a coughing fit. He's leaned away from where he has his legs thrown over Simon's lap. Always touching. Simon has a hand underneath his pant leg and is holding onto his ankle. Always touching.

Rocky looks up from where he's staring at the laptop, “Rocky knows Simon Grace cannot make offspring. Asking other question. When does offspring happen, question?”

Ryland lets out a sigh, “Oh. That-” Ryland leans over the table and takes the tablet to start a biology lesson. Ryland's legs shift and Simon has to keep hold of his ankle to keep them from going further.

“Simon heart rate increase. Gross. Quiet blood flow.”

“I can't just quiet my blood flow, Rock. I know you know that.” Simon grumbles as Rocky lets out a high pitched giggling sound. He leans back in his seat and holds his tablet in his xenonite hand.

Rocky gets through maybe 15 minutes of Ryland explaining the different reproductive systems of humans before he's moving onto the next topic. Ryland returns back to his seat, opting to move even closer to Simon and being almost entirely in his lap. In his shift, Simon's hand moved from Ryland's ankle to his thigh.

Ryland looks at him, he looks at Ryland. That soft, dopey smile is back on his face.

“What?” Simon's voice is gruff. Quiet like it could be between them (it never can with Rocky's hearing).

“You’d make a good dad.” Ryland says. Just casually. Like its the easiest thing in the world. Simon just stares at him.

“Just say you want to knock me up.” Simon jokes. Although when Ryland's face goes bright red and his breathing hitches, Simon doesn't think it's a joke.

Simon grins something wicked, sharp teeth showing as he leans in. Ryland doesn't bother leaning back away from him and if anything, his body gets more tense and his breathing gets more shaky as Simon comes closer.

“Do you want to put a baby in me, Angel? Breed me until it takes?” They have yet to even speak about sex. They've had hot and heavy make outs but that's about it. Barely any touching even over their clothing.

Ryland's eyes are stuck on Simon's lips. He gives the smallest, so easily missed nod. Simon has to fight not to close the distance between them then and there. Not with Rocky less than 3 feet away. Rylands hand had found its way tangled in Simon's hair. Long enough to grab a handful and pull.

He leans back. Ryland follows him for a bit before finally pulling back, his hand ultimately letting go. He grips onto Ryland's thigh to keep any doubt away from them. A tell of later.

Rocky doesn't sleep for another 2 days, but once he's out, Ryland is on him. His hand tangling in the man's hair and pulling. Simon's scalp is going to have a soft sting to it for a while.

They may not have the biology for it, but Ryland does try his best to get Simon knocked up.

Week 212, Year 1

Simon and Ryland are separated for the first time in 4 years.

Not really separated. They're just in different rooms in the medical area on Erid. Ryland had gotten dangerously thin. As fast as the plants grew, after a few extra harvests, they wilted. Simon was doing everything he could to keep them alive, but overnight they just died. Rotted away. He was able to salvage some seeds and keep some from wilting, but the rest? Gone.

Since they were calculating in getting two extra harvests from the vegetables, they didn't really feel a need to breed as much taumeba. The last few months on the Hail Mary were the roughest. Rocky would watch both Simon and Ryland sleep for longer and longer.

They made it to Erid just in time. The Eridians already working through getting food synthesized for their human saviors. Rocky had been in contact with them for weeks about it. The radio he had built sent good communication between the planet and the ship.

Simon's leg bounces impatiently as he waits. They should be cleared to leave and head to the biodome now. Ryland had gotten his strength back. Not all of it but most was back. He was getting to a healthy weight. Adrian had set up the biodome and was working with a whole thrum of Eridians to make more soil for the greenhouse.

There's a knock on his door and Simon is up and moving instantly. He throws it open to Adrian standing there. The large Eridian was as tall as Simon was. He looks to the side and smiles when he sees Ryland leaning against them. He is quick to his mates side and holds onto his other arm. Ryland immediately leans into him and buries his face in his shoulder.

“I missed you.”

“We were apart for a few hours while they did the last testing, Angel.”

“Just say you hate me.”

“I dont and you fuckin know that.”

Simon can feel the smile on his shoulder.

“I know. Let's go home.” Ryland looks up and smiles at Simon. Simon can't help but steal a quick kiss before they're led out the tunnels and into the biodome.

The vast beach line spans the whole dome. An artificial ocean whirrs from afar. The artificial sunlight feels amazing on their skins. There is even artificial wind that blows Simon's hair, now down to just below his shoulders, into his face.

Ryland laughs beside him and it's still the most beautiful thing Simon has heard in his life. There's fingers in his hair and Simon is leaning into them as they pull his hair back and into a rough ponytail.

“Apologies. The wind machines are still rather strong. I will fix this.” Adrian sings beside them. “In the meantime, you should still be able to make it to your home.”

Adrian is correct. The winds are rough, but not enough to blow them over. Ryland and Simon hold onto each other as they make their way to the house on the hill. Simon watches the house come into view. It's not too big, but not small either. It's not much, but it's a start to their home.

The Eridians are still working on soil. On trees. For now, there is a singular xenonite tree beside the house. Full of fake leaves and standing tall. Ryland stands beside him as he stops to stare for a moment. Memories of a dying tree pops into his head, but a hand softly touching the braid still in his hair keeps him grounded.

He turns his head and looks at his mate. There's a soft moment between them- until Ryland is kicking at his leg, causing him to stagger and bolting to the house. Simon blinks a few times before he's following. Deep into the house and to the bedroom. Their first night in a real bed.

They pass out tangled together within 10 minutes. Only Simon's shirt is off.

Week Year 3

3 years since they've arrived on Erid.

Simon is kicking Ryland out of the house.

"But the garden-"

“We can split the garden, Ryland! Now go! Leave!”

“My lab is here!”

“And it'll be here when you come back for it. You need to go!”

“Seriously, Si? This is hard on me.”

“And it's just as hard on me. But only because you're a stubborn asshat. Go to work, Ryland.;

Simon finally manages to push Ryland out of the house and shuts the door on him. Its the first day of school. The first official year of school. The last few months Ryland had been doing an impromptu class at the edge of the biodome for local pebbles who wanted to ask him questions.

Simon is alone in the house now and it's quiet. It's not bad. It'll just be quiet for longer now that he has actual classes to teach. Where before it was maybe a few hours of silence. It will now be closer to 8 hours without Ryland a day.

Simon would try and figure out how to deal with it, but his hair is getting really heavy and oily and he can feel it.

He strips his shirt off on his way to the bathroom and just falls to his knees beside the tub. He grabs the shower head and turns it on, not even caring about the temperature as he takes the time to wet down his hair to wash it.

He hadn't washed it in a few days. It's almost down to his mid back. He separates the braid he's had for years at this point and focuses on the rest of his hair. He washes it with his regular shampoo before taking the braid and using a specific spray bottle he has to wash that specifically. They aren't due for a rebraiding for another week so he can keep it for now.

He finishes washing his hair and just kneels beside the tub for a bit, letting it drip before he finally gets up and goes through the process of drying it. If he let it air dry, it would become a frizzy monster.

It took the Eridians a while to replicate a diffuser and even longer for Simon and Ryland to learn how to use it. It takes a while for Simon to dry his hair but he's learning every day tips and tricks to help make it faster.

He exits the bathroom with clean hair and gives a sigh of relief.

Now what to do for the next- 6 hours and 43 minutes.

Oh boy.

Day II∀λ+∀

The house is warm and quiet. Iℓ (6) pebbles sleep carefully in the nest. Adrian sits amongst them and watches them all carefully.

A pebbles first sleep is always the roughest. And all Iℓ (6) of them decided to sleep at the same time. Adrian had promised and promised their mate they could watch over all of them. Rocky needed to get out and stretch. Birthing that many pebbles is rough on one Eridian. Especially one as small as Rocky. Rocky's clutches are typically only V (2) or λ (3).

Adrian was pleasantly shocked when their mate released Iℓ this time around (it was actually IV (8) but a few did not fuse. No fuss. Adrian would've been happy if only a singular pebble had fused).

Speaking of their mate, Adrian hears them in the far distance.

“ADRIAN! ADRIAN!”

Their mate yells from afar. Adrian lifts their carapace up as they hear the happy yelling come closer and closer.

It takes Rocky I∀Iλ (1513 Earth seconds) to arrive. The whole while yelling very happily. Adrian simply waits for the door.

Rocky bursts through, stance wide and carapace bobbing as his vents try to cool him down. There is a minute of silence as the two mates wait for the other to speak.

“What ha-”

“THIRD HEARTBEAT!”

Adrian can't help but laugh at their mate's interruption, then pauses and promptly stands.

“A third?”

“A THIRD! THREE ALIEN HEARTBEATS. ONE BEING GROWN!”

Oh how Adrian loves that Eridians cannot be woken from slumber.

Year 7

A soft cry is heard through a dark house. It's not a hurt cry. Or a hungry cry. It's a lonely cry.

Simon feels a hand on his face, then it drags back into his hair.

“Your turn,” Ryland mumbles as he snuggles closer to his mate.

“I thought it was yours.” Simon mumbles back, stretching out his arm and grabbing a handful of Ryland's ass. Ryland just hums and knocks his forehead against Simon's before starting to snore again.

The cry is heard again but louder. Simon smiles as he slips out of bed. He kisses his mate on the head before leaving the room.

“Im coming, Rafael.” Simon says softly as he pads through the house. The crying quiets down as he comes close. The boy in the crib sensing his father just quiets down to soft whines. Simon reaches down and picks the baby up, holding him against his bare chest.

Almost two and half years ago now, Simon's body had started to change oddly. He didn't really notice it. His pain tolerance was quite high so no. He did not really feel when his body started to change. He sure as shit noticed when his dick started to get smaller and absorb into his body.

Ryland had dragged him to do a lot of testing when his balls just disappeared. They deduced that he was changing biological gender. Eels such as the Moray and Ribbon Eel actually have this trait. While technically humans are both with both male and female chromosomes and are born female in the beginning (see: nipples on men), and now with Simon's mutations it's not that far fetched to believe that Simon's body saw the environmental need and safety and just changed. (Simon can hear Grace explaining it in his head).

The next few months were watching Simon's biological change. He had to get used to it. Not having a dick anymore, but he got used to it. Of course, the instant he got used to it, he dragged Ryland to bed.

Oh the sex. The prep was fun, dont get him wrong but sometimes he just wanted it. And with the changes of his body? Oh he got it.

Then the menstrual cycles hit.

Over the course of a year, Ryland would check in with him. He would ask him how he’s feeling. If he feels any different. Simon never felt like a woman. So he didn't identify as one. He was always a man, parts be damned. Simon also made sure Ryland was okay with it. Which he was. This is how Simon learns Ryland loves to eat. (He knew before but now it's a whole different rodeo).

And yet another year later, they have Raf. Rafael. Their first born. Named after one of Simon's Brothers from Eden who always took care of him after his mother passed. The pregnancy was hard. Very hard. Simon's body knew what to do but Simon and Ryland did not.

They're experiencing it together though. It helps that Rocky and Adrian have pebbles too. They all get to figure out this parenting thing together.

Simon knows they don't have many years left on Erid. Ryland is already having to use a cane pretty heavily. The double gravity tolls on them, but Simon would experience that blood moon all over again if it meant this was where he ended up. His mate sleeping soundly in their bed, and their child currently puking down his back and all over his freshly washed hair.