Archive of Our Own

Simon was . . . .actually learning to live, surprisingly enough. 

Living on the Hail Mary with Grace and Rocky had been quite the experience so far, especially after he started genuinely believing he was alive and this wasn't all an insane hallucination or death induced last moments. Grace and Rocky were both wonderful to spend time with and patient with him as he learned about things that were normal to the other two, like real plants and movies and clean clothes and good food and the stars not being completely obliterated. He was learning a lot of incredible things lately. 

He was . . . well he had learned he really really really wanted to hear Grace swear again. And again. And again. Preferably under him or some similar variation that involved the two of them entangled. He kept thinking back to that first night he had grabbed ahold of him and refused to let go. He kept pushing and pushing at Simon until he finally got it through his head that he was in fact, somehow, miraculously, still alive. 

Sometimes he still grappled with the idea. He’d stare off at the stars until his thoughts faded away and his eyes dried out, and when he came back to himself, an hour or even several had passed. ‘Disassociate’ had been the word Grace used after shaking him back into his body one too many times. It seemed like the concept wasn’t a . . . great coping mechanism, least of all how it worried Grace. 

So Simon had tried to turn to other ways to make the days go by. And he had learned a lot so far. 

He spent time learning about Eridian engineering with Rocky, which did genuinely interest him. He helped take care of the small hydroponics garden on Mary, he spent 3 full days carefully mending and tailoring some of the clothes Grace had given him to keep as his own (the waist bands had been too small, the pant legs too long, the shoulders of most shirts too tight- it had been nightmare inducing even as he had marveled at clothes that were barely worn, so different from his scrap clothing in Eden or prison.) He had actually even learned to pilot Mary as well, just in case the situation arose. 

He had laughed freely at Rocky claiming he was already a better pilot than Grace. 

He remembered how red Grace had turned at the teasing, the color blossoming across his face as easy as breathing. 

Which brought him back to his current issue. 

After that night when it turned out that they had both become convinced that they were on the same page, they’d become a lot closer. 

They’d both (and Rocky by proxy) moved their sleeping arrangements back to the dormitory, making it comfortable and cozy for two full grown humans and one Eridian in his xenonite tunnels. Simon had slept better in the past 4 weeks than he could remember, maybe ever. Even when he woke from dreams of blood and drowning and the whispers of the voices and the shredding of his arm- 

Well. Grace was there. Grace was always there. 

Eating breakfast, working in his laboratory, showing Simon things from earth and shows and movies, sleeping curled into each other in their bedroom, shaking Simon from being lost in thought at the windows of Mary. Obviously he wanted to continue returning the favor. For Grace of course. No other reasons. Not because he was selfish and wanted to hear those little noises he made as Simon had pressed himself so close they could have fused together, the way his hands shook but still grabbed at the back of Simon’s shirt with that iron grip, the way his voice cracked around that first ever ‘fuck’ that slipped from him in a moment of weakness. 

He was suddenly glad there was no one else on this ship. He didn’t he could fool anyone, much less himself. 

He also couldn’t fool Rocky. The little rascal had gone absolutely ballistic that first morning when Grace had woken him with those gentle kisses, smoothing back the wild mess his hair had become in the night. 

Said engineer was tinkering with some sort of experiment near the wall that ran alongside his and Grace's mess of pillows and blankets. Grace was elbows deep in some experiments of his own in the lab, so Simon knew he had to take his chance. 

“Rock” he flopped down against his side of the clear barrier. Rocky didn’t pause in his workings but did give him an affirmative hum that he was listening. 

“Y’know anything that gets Grace to curse?” 

Rocky clanked one tool against the wall before returning to his work, “What Simon mean ‘curse’ question?” 

“Like- how I say ‘damn it’ or ‘shit’ when I’m doing something, like . . . When I stabbed myself with the needle when I was mending my clothes?” 

“Oh” Rocky did set down his tools at last, turning his carapace up towards Simon in an approximation of turning one's head. 

“Rocky not know these words before Simon come on Mary”

”really? Grace never even has anything like that? Not once?”

Rocky gave Simon his best impression of a shrug, rising his front two limbs up and down dramatically. “Rocky unsure Grace ever say anything like ‘curse’ only ‘aw crap’ or ‘jeez Louise’” the laptop that translated Rocky's singing hums into English did almost too good of a job verbalizing his teasing of Grace’s funny phrases. 

Simon ran his hand across his face, dragging his hair back in exasperation. 

“Why Simon want Grace to ‘swear’?” Rocky interrupted his thoughts. 

“Well . . .” He trailed off, rocking back and forth for a second. “You know how me and Grace sort of started a- well we kiss now?” His voice wavered with only slight embarrassment at trying to explain himself. 

Luckily Rocky picked up his meaning, “OH! Oh! Simon Grace start courtship! Rocky upset upset upset Rocky miss all juicy drama”

Simon groaned, covering his eyes for a second- why was his face so warm? He was talking to an Alien who didn’t even have eyes for crying out loud. 

“Okay yes we- we started a courtship or something. Well I, I like hearing Grace swear- its, uh well. It makes me feel . . . Good?” 

“You ask Rocky how Simon feel? Simon not know what feeling he get?” Rocky teased. 

“Ugh Rocky come on! I’m looking for a little help here!”

Rocky fiddled with his claws for a moment tapping one leg up and down against the floor. “Rocky think . . . Rocky think Grace heartbeat go fast fast fast! When Simon say ‘Angel’ to Grace!”

Simon startled from where his face had fallen into his hand, sitting up straight again. 

“Thats great!” His voice cracked embarrassingly, “I mean, that’s good, that’s a starting point.” 

Rocky hummed a focalization that was mostly noise based on how the laptop couldn’t quite pick anything up. “Grace heartbeat goes fast for lots of reasons. Grace sit down long long time and stand fast, Grace heart go really fast during morning when Simon Grace wear daytime clothes” 

Simon’s stomach made an odd flip, “you mean- when we change? When I change my clothes in the morning?” His face felt warm again. 

Rocky raised his hands, waving back and forth. “Yes yes yes! Grace heart always fast when change, extra fast when Simon change!”

Simon felt like he made some sort of noise in the back of his throat. “Thats- uhm. Hmm. I’ll keep that in mind.”

”Rocky help Simon? Rocky solve many problems”

”uh, sure thing bud.”

~~~~~~~

Over the next day or so Simon kept turning over what Rocky had said. He was just about ready to put his plan into action. 

It was kind of like an experiment, which amused him greatly. Grace would probably find it funny if he wasn’t you know, the main part of said experiment.

Grace was currently doing- something or other that Simon didn’t really have the patience for. Some long running experiment that required him to be sitting at his desk for the past six and a half hours. Long enough that Simon would already have stepped in if not for his experiment for his own worry. 

Grace was completely focused on his laptop, typing away at whatever he was doing. He jumped so bad when Simon came up on his right that he almost felt bad. 

“Oh- jeez! Sorry, sorry Si you almost gave me a heart attack” he laughed, grabbing at his chest dramatically. 

Simon enacted the first part of his plan then. With his one hand he reached out and took Grace’s hand from where it rested on his chest,intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently. He leaned over the scientist, with him seated and Simon standing above him he had a good foot and a half to work with. He pressed a warm lingering kiss where the corner of Grace's mouth quirked up when he smiled, leaning back after a long moment. 

Grace blinked dumbly up at him from his swivel chair, that beautiful bright red color blooming across his face like clockwork. 

Step one; complete 

Grace made a little humming noise that could have been Eridian for all Simon knew and looked up at him, “what- what was that for?” 

Simon hummed non-committedly back, “no reason, ‘cept maybe cause you work so hard” 

He watched the blonde’s face carefully for his reaction, Grace still seemed almost shell shocked, glancing at his computer and then back at Simon like he wasn’t sure he was real. 

Time to enact Step two.

”here,” he pulled his hand from Grace's for a quick moment, reaching back over the table to the mug he had snuck in with him. He pressed it into Grace’s pliable hands. 

“Brought you a pick-me-up. You’ve been at it awhile.”

Grace lit up with appreciation, Simon privately thought he was as bright as any of the stars he’d fought so hard to save. 

“Oh! Thank you, that's so sweet” as Grace took a sip of the still warm tea. He glanced up for only a moment and then very nearly choked on the next sip he took. 

Simon sighed, shoulders relaxing as he perched on the table. He shimmied just a tad, bracing his hand behind him to lean over into Grace's workspace. 

“Si-Simon? What are you doin'?” 

“Hmm?” Simon hummed, like he didn't know exactly what he was doing. 

“Oh, I was hoping to watch you work a bit, not really sure what it is you're doing but it certainly seems important” 

He did his best to keep his breathing even, watching every microexpression Grace made as he took in the sight of him sitting atop his desk, he stretched his legs out and rolled his shoulder. Grace's eyes dilated. 

Bingo. 

The blond stuttered, glancing rapidly between his computer and Simon's thigh, inches away from where he had been resting his forearms against the table. 

“ah, well- it's, y'know I've been experimenting with the taumeoba- how its- well Rocky and I had to get build up its nitrogen resistance, because our astrophage homeworld's had more nitrogen than Adrian. So I've been seeing how I can get it to act in other environments, for other stars systems” 

Grace carried on, building steam as he focused less on Simon looming over him from his spot on the table and more about his science. He took long drinks of his tea until eventually he was setting the empty mug to the side and stretching his arms high above his head with a groan. Simon watched with no small amount of eagerness as his arms flexed against his ridiculous t-shirt. 

Slowly, he raised his one leg to graze the side of Grace's thigh, he jumped like he'd been shot, and stood with only a bit of flailing. 

“Thanks again for the tea, I didn't realize how thirsty I was until just now” 

He leaned in and gave Simon a loud peck on the cheek, where the edge of his scar trailed off into his beard. 

“what do you say we get some food? I don't know about you but I'm starving!” with that he was turning as quick as he could and bumbling his way down the hall to where the meal packets were kept. 

With that Simon was suddenly alone in the lab, he slouched, smacking his hand against his knee. 

“damn it” he muttered, still, he followed behind the other man- at least he would be able to get him to eat something in between his wild bouts of work, but he felt no closer to his goal. 

~~~~~~~~ 

“my idea in the lab failed bug, your thoughts?” 

“Rocky not bug. Rocky eridian”

“well you look like a spider-”

“Grace teach Rocky spider arachnid not bug.”

“ugh” Simon threw his head back against the xenonite, he was slouched against the wall of the stuff half tucked into bed. Grace would be getting out of what they could call a ‘shower’ what with Mary's strange water recycling system any minute now. 

“I need another idea” he groused. 

Rocky tapped at the wall somewhere near the middle of Simon's spine. “Simon gather valuable data question?” 

“ugh- I don't know, this is gonna be harder than I thought” 

“Rocky told Simon. Grace ‘tough nut to crack’” 

He threw his hand up, “what if I'm doing something wrong? Maybe- maybe I'm missing something?” 

“Rocky think Simon need more data, Simon search human thinking machine for ideas statement” 

He raised his hand, scratching at the side of his face, he turned his head to glance back at the engineer. 

“The computer? What's that gonna do?” 

Rocky really banged on the glass at this, punctuating his message. “Human mating strange. Thinking machine have ideas!”

Simon simply hummed at this, then glanced back at the door as he heard the shutter of the door down the hall. 

“Okay, I'll. . . give it a shot I guess”

Rocky trilled happily just as Grace entered the room, hair damp and glasses tucked carefully in the collar of his shirt for once. 

“what's all this noise about?” He joked and he climbed into bed. 

“I was just volunteering to watch you both sleep” Simon said easily. He would actually watch the two of them sleep quite happily, even without his ulterior motive. 

Grace's face softened gently at this, “thank you Simon, I know that means a lot to Rocky” 

Rocky made a noise of confirmation. 

“well I'm not tired at all so I figured- y'know” Simon shrugged, why was he the one getting flustered over this? 

Grace wiggled down into the mess of blankets they had amassed, and Simon pulled the quilt up over him, leaning down to press a kiss to his hair. 

“Goodnight angel” he murmured. 

Grace close his eyes as he sighed sleepily, still smiling through it, “goodnight” 

Simon waited for what felt like forever but was probably only 15 minutes, he glanced down at Grace- who was sound asleep- before he carefully shifted to the side and reached for where their shared laptop was kept. Luckily he always slept on the edge of the bed, the closest to the makeshift bedside table. 

He balanced the device in lap as he thought about what to search. 

‘Human courtship examples’ seemed like a good place to start. 

Annnnd this was- not really helpful. 

First of all, a lot of all this stuff didn't make any sense to him, like dating apps? He didn’t even know what that was but it didn’t sound helpful. 

There was a bunch of other advice too, but this was all stuff that seemed to be to tell someone you liked them without . . . Telling them you liked them? It just  didn’t make any sense to Simon why you would just make someone guess your feelings. Either tell them or don’t. 

There was something though. Maybe if he combined what he knew with stuff he hadn’t tried yet. 

Maybe. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Simon waited a full day between tries, hopeful to get some results from his little experiment. 

Grace and him were simply hanging out in the ‘Don’t Go Crazy’ room, Grace had put on his favorite forest images for him, and the tour were simply just existing in the space together. 

He blew a strand of hair from his eyes for the fourth time in 10 minutes. 

“You okay?” Grace asked without looking up from his laptop. 

Simon huffed, “yes, no. I need help” 

That had Grace looking up from his computer, brows furrowed. His glasses swung from where they dangled from his jaw. Simon fought valiantly to focus on his goal and not how pretty he looked in the fake sunlight streaming through imaginary trees. 

“What’s wrong?” 

He gestured at his loose hair, “can you, would you tie my hair back?” Even though he was counting on this working he was still nervous as he asked. Grace had never even once begrudged him an ounce of help when it came to something he couldn’t do with one arm but he really didn’t want to push his luck too far. 

Luckily, Grace nodded as he shuffled his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. He produced a hair tie from his own wrist- and didn't that just have his stomach curling with satisfaction. Grace certainly didn’t need the black tie, he would only need it if he was keeping it handy for him. 

Simon shook off his nerves and scooted closer across the platform towards Grace, turning slightly so he faced away. 

For a long minute, Simon only felt Grace slowly combing the hair off his shoulders, across the back of his neck. He kept at it until Simon had to fight to keep his eyes open, reflexively leaning back into the touch. 

“Everything okay back there?” He said with a chuckle. 

“Oh- oh yeah-“ he heard Grace clearing his throat, “just, ah- making sure its not t-tangled or anything” he heard him shift, pulling his hair into a low ponytail. 

“It’s okay, I brushed it this morning” he had brushed it an hour ago. Before they met up in the room. Simon tried not to smile too wide at the pleased notion that came to him that Grace had just wanted to touch his hair. 

Which he had known, obviously. Grace seemed drawn to his hair, whether it was his hands tangled in it as they kissed or when he smoothed it back as they woke up in the morning. He even liked that Grace liked his hair anyways, so it certainly worked out well. 

Step one accomplished, Simon tilted his head back as his own arm came up around Grace’s shoulders, he dug his fingers into the short scruffy blonde hair at the base of his neck and pulled him close. 

“That’s perfect,” he breathed out as their lips met. He swallowed the squeak that came from the other man gleefully. While Grace’s hands had fallen closer to his shoulders his quickly pulled them back up to run through his new hairstyle. 

Simon felt his back straining as he twisted a little too far back. He inhaled sharply but persisted, this was hardly the most pain he’d ever experienced. 

Except, because apparently Simon could never have anything nice, his lower back spasmed, radiating pain up his spine, it startled him just how quick the pain raced up to even his shoulders. 

“Shit!” He growled from where he was pressed against his angel. He kicked a leg out instinctively to counterbalance himself but Grace’s own knees were in the way. 

“Oof- ouch, you okay?” He adjusted his glasses as he leaned back onto the catwalk. 

He hissed lowly as his back refused to unclench, “fuck” he grumbled frustratedly. He turned back to where Grace was sitting, concerned. 

“I gave myself a cramp” he was not pouting. He did not pout. 

Grace still snorted, just slightly amused before he reached over to help. He spun Simon’s legs until the hung from the edge of the metal platform and ran a hand soothingly down the other man’s back. 

“Do you need to go see Armando?” He half teased -though Simon could see that flicker of worry from behind his glasses. 

“Absolutely not!” He sounded almost scandalized at the thought, which got a real laugh out of Grace, which he reluctantly considered a win. 

He stretched his back against Grace’s hand, the previous moment gone. He cursed himself internally. He really felt like he’d been getting somewhere. 

~~~~~~~~~

Simon twisted this way and that, examining himself in the small mirror of their little bathroom aboard Mary. His scars twisted and warped with every movement he made. 

This was probably the craziest idea he’d come up with so far. 

That also made it the most likely to work. 

He shrugged at his reflection as if that’d take away the nerves. It wasn't like he was fully against this plan, just- anxious. He was making himself more vulnerable than he had been in a long time. But he also wanted to allow himself to be vulnerable with Grace. There were a lot of things he was trying to open himself up to since coming aboard The Hail Mary and joining the small crew. Like movies, and taking care of the plants Grace trusted him with. He could trust Grace with this in return.

Rocky had said Grace's heartbeat went wild when he changed in the morning. At least he had a lead to work off of.  

He stepped out of the small room and down the hall towards their clothes storage.

 The second he started down the hall he wanted to change his mind, for no other fact than that it was freezing. Goosebumps rose across his skin immediately, and he violently tried to shake them off with a shiver. 

He strolled down the hallway and crossed the threshold of the laboratory. While Grace had most of his work spread throughout the room, they also used the space often to eat and hang their clothes on laundry days- like today. 

He walked right past where his scientist was buried in his work and brushed his hand against the back of his chair ever so slightly in a bid to steal just a smidge of Grace’s attention. 

It seemed to work like a charm, he faced away from the other man now as he analyzed the options hanging in front of him. He heard something on the desk fall with a clatter and the sound of someone choking on their spit. 

“Oh! Uh jeez- Si, you- uh clothes?” 

Simon had to swallow his laughter down. Maybe this plan would work. 

“Yeah I forgot it was laundry day, sorry” he said with the casual air of someone who wasn’t shirtless in front of their sorta-boyfriend-partner-lover-one source of human contact. He pulled the ‘I had Potential' shirt down from the line and turned around. 

Holy. Fuckin. Shit. 

Simon did his best to keep a level expression, Grace had lost all pretense of working, and had propped himself up on the table with both arms as he had apparently been ogling? His glasses were perfectly placed on his face as if Simon were the most important thing in the room. 

He felt particularly flattered at the thought and tried to subtly flex his arms as he slowly dragged the shirt over his head. It was slow going with one hand but he actually used that to his advantage in this case. He glanced back up at Grace’s face and really had to keep from laughing at how red he was. 

“Everything okay in here?”

he jumped like he’d been shot and threw himself back towards his laptop and assorted papers. 

“Oh- yeah just, everything’s great! I was, uhm. I was working on the . . . Uh-“ he fumbled his words. 

Simon took pity on him, crossing over into his workspace and leaning down to kiss his cheek, “I’m sure you’re doing great work in here angel” 

Grace squeaked and Simon watched him dart his eyes quickly from his chest to literally anywhere else in the room. He had run out of reasons to be disturbing the doctor’s work and so he made to leave, glancing over his shoulder once to find Grace watching him go. 

“I’m off to go check on the garden, okay?” It was a rhetorical question, but he did like how the scientist nearly nodded so fast his glasses flew off. 

“Sure! Ack- I mean, yeah okay! That sounds- fine- good- Great!” He offered a thumbs down as he adjusted his glasses and Simon waved back as he turned the corner. 

He paused as he walked away, out of view he listened to see if he heard anything else. 

He heard Grace groan once, and the sound of flesh hitting metal. ”hhhholy crap- get a grip Ryland” 

Simon did really have to hold his hand over his mouth as he snuck off. He was gonna have to tell Rocky about this attempt for sure, even if the result still wasn’t quite what he’d hoped. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next couple of days he tried a few more ideas to no success. He’d brought Grace food twice on two separate occasions when he’d forgotten to eat. He’d even enlisted Rocky in recreating a human prank from his research, it had scared him, and then he’d laughed it off good naturedly- but still not one slip of the tongue. He had gotten the farthest with his no-shirt idea, but still that hadn't quite worked. Simon was just gonna jump him at this point, clever plans be damned. 

~~~~~~~~~

In hindsight, he probably should have known the most likely way to make Grace swear. 

Three days after his latest attempt, when he had asked Grace to pull his hair back for him a second time; he and Rocky were sitting in the cockpit, Grace tucked away for a rare nap. 

Simon leaned the pilot’s seat as far back as it would go, it made an obnoxious creaking sound that he ignored as he threw his arm up over his head and over the back of the headrest. 

“Simon break chair Rocky not fix” the Eridian grumbled from his tunnel. 

“I can’t think of anything else!” He said frustratedly. He swayed the chair back and forth, gazing out at the side window and the dozens of blinking dials and screens. 

“Oh” Rocky sounded exasperated with him, both the voice from the computer and his own whistling. “Simon still attempting impossible mission?”

”there has to be something!” He pointed at Rocky, swinging himself forward. 

Before he could say anything else, the chair made a horrible grinding noise, metal on metal snapping angrily, throwing Simon into the console he was sitting in front of. 

The impact his temple made with the screen completely stunned him. 

His mind was completely silent, save for the ringing of his ears. It was actually kinda peaceful before the pain came rushing over him like a wave of static, his head suddenly rattling with the impact like a delayed reaction, he blinked as he tried to reorient himself. 

“Fuck” he breathed out haggardly. 

Something hot was dripping down the side of his face, filling his mouth with that familiar iron tang. He swallowed around it, he refused to acknowledge it for what it was- then he would really start spiraling. 

Sound came back to him finally, Rocky was whistling hysterically off to the side, and he waved his arm weakly. 

“I'm- ugh I'm okay Rock-” he raised his arm to the wall and tried to gently push himself away from where he'd made impact. 

His head was still leaking -leaking, not bleeding never bleeding- and he moved to try and stem the flow.

He barely moved his hand from the wall when the chair went tilting back, a second attempt to smother him. 

“Shit!” He caught himself this time, arm shaking with the weight of his body and the chair refusing to balance out. His residual limb throbbed in time with his head with what felt like anger at being so ineffective. 

He shut his eyes tight, breathing through the pain and the panic that was starting to thud beneath his ribs. 

This was fine. He's okay, just a little battered is all. 

Rocky was still chattering frantically below him, arms waving around with his words. He wasn’t sure if the translator was off now or if he just couldn't process basic fucking English at this point. His head pulsed with pain like he'd taken a hammer to the head. 

“Rocky-” he bit out through gritted teeth “you need- to go get Grace. I need help.” 

He was pretty sure the alien was gone before he even finished. 

The cockpit was silent now. Save for his heavy breathing. It felt a little too similar to the lung, just him and his panic breaths. Black spots attempted to dance at the edges of his vision and he tried to force them away through sheer will. 

He stopped himself from going any further with that line of thought, he carefully tried to ease his head back against the headrest, it made him dizzy as fuck, the lights above him wiggling nonsensically. It was bit of an odd angle but it kept him from bleeding all over his clothes and the buttons of the console beneath him.

Blood. It was thick and hot as it dripped sluggishly down his temple into his hairline. He risked a lick across his teeth; none were loose, but he had definitely cut the inside of his mouth. 

He bit back a whine, “come on Angel,” he whispered to himself “I know you're coming for me” 

His arm quivered, and he ignored it. He was strong, he was stronger than this. He just had to wait it out.

“Simon!!” 

He could hear him now, probably throwing himself up the ladder. 

“I'm here!” His voice broke as he tried to shout, he wasn't actually sure how loud he was.

Grace came flying up the hole in the floor and into the cockpit, breathing ragged. 

“Simon!” He scrambled over to him, climbing over him to prop him up. 

“I couldn't- I have to hold my myself up-” his voice cracked again and he barked a laugh incredulously, “I don't have enough hands” 

“Here- here oh my gosh-” Grace was gently pushing his shoulders back, the seat moved freely with him, Grace braced his upper back against the walls of the ship to give Simon enough room to breathe and assess his head wound. 

Simon gasped a heaving breath that he felt through his whole body, his head throbbed with the movement and he squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to blink away the tears in his eyes. His body felt like it was swaying back and forth even as he tried to keep still. 

“Si, Simon talk to me! Are you okay!?!” 

He dragged his eyes up to Grace's face, roving over his panicked expression. 

“I . . . think so . . . sorry I woke you up” he licked his bloodied teeth again

The face of the angel above him rippled with a myriad of emotions, apparently settling on a mix of worried shock. 

“Simon- I don't care about a damn nap! You're bleeding!” 

Simon stared up at him aghast. His words break through the thick fog creeping into his head. “. . . You gotta be shittin me” he grumbled 

“Wh-what? Simon what can I do for you!? You- we have to- we have to stop your bleeding and- we have to get you out of this stupid-fuckin-chair!” 

Simon shifted slightly, as Grace actually kicked out at the base where the chair met its metal trough. He let out a groan that had nothing to do with his injuries. His eyes clenched shut as he lamented that he finally had succeeded his little project in what was probably the worst way possible. Grace winced in horror, unknowing of his predicament. 

“Oh- oh my gosh sorry sorry sorry. I just- stay, stay awake! Start with staying awake and we can figure this out.”

Simon rolled his head back and forth a bit, psyching himself up to try and move. His whole body felt loose now after holding himself taught to keep his face from getting smashed in any further, and now that Grace was the perfect distraction perched over him- ready to help him like always. 

“You uhh, you keep talking to me like that and I'll do anything Angel” he grunted as he grabbed the hand hold in the ceiling closest to his head, and pulled himself up from the chair. He had to brace his feet between Grace's and when he stood up fully he was at perfect eye level with his favorite savior. 

“Hmm. Fancy seeing you up here” he grumbled out. His head throbbed sharply again but he attempted to shake it off. 

“Oh god- oh my god” Grace fretted inches above him “you are so freakin concussed” 

Simon swallowed whatever blood was still in his mouth before lifting himself up a bit higher to meet Grace in an only slightly bloody kiss. 

The blond made a noise of shock high in his throat and he tried to chase after it before he lost his grip on the bar above him or his footing underneath. 

He groaned out a sigh that was part pain and part relief, Grace's lips against his like his own special medicine. 

He felt Grace take a hand off the chair, the long fingers grabbing at his jaw- 

“Simon-Simon-” he heard him muttering frantically. 

Maybe he should've bludgeoned himself sooner. 

Grace was prying his face back from his at about the same time the ship as a whole spun around him, kinda melting and spinning with no real direction. 

Okay. Maybe not. 

He managed to keep his grip on the bar above him as Grace moved his hand from his face to underneath his bad arm, taking the brunt of his weight. 

“Simon- this is so not the time to be kissing!” His voice was muffled from being half buried in his shoulder, and the sound of it just kinda ran across his brain like water over rocks. 

“Hmm” he dropped his head to where Grace had so nicely left him the stretch of skin between his jaw and shirt collar, and he buried his face there with a great deal of satisfaction. 

“I think this is the best time” 

Grace grunted and he felt it reverberate through them both. 

“Well no one said head injuries make people smarter,” he snapped out. 

He carefully maneuvered them both to the edge of the opening that was the ladder down to the rest of the ship. Simon gripped the metal lip tight and tried not to sway with the way the ship was rocking beneath him. 

He blinked hard again and glanced over at Grace, he was looking back at him with worry carved deep across his face, biting at his lip. He had a wad of fabric from somewhere that he kept trying to wipe at his bloodied forehead with. 

“You'r’ so good at savin'me”  he said through a smile. 

He gave into the swaying of the Mary and leaned forward to catch that lip between his own teeth. Grace swayed back in tandem to keep the distance. 

He groaned, “ugh come on” he sounded like he was whining. Was that something he even knew how to do? 

It wasn't his fault Grace was even prettier like this. Something about how the lights of the cockpit made him glow and his stomach twisted unpleasantly. Unless that was also the concussion. 

“Simon.” Grace said sternly. “We have to go down the ladder now. You have to come down after me so I can be there in case you fall.” The way he spoke was kinda like how he was when he was teaching him about all his science stuff. Sharp and simple and to the point. 

Still, there was no harm in trying- “just'a, mmhm one more kiss” he tried to smile but he just tasted more blood. 

“oh for god's sake Simon! I'll- I'll kiss you at the bottom okay?!?” 

“Hmmmm” Simon gleefully pretended to think about it. Through the swimming fog that curled up in his brain he thought this was kinda fun. He should've added teasing to his plan a while ago. 

“You- you have to fuckin promise okay?”

He sighed, “Okay. I promise.” 

“Noooo” he groaned. “Fuckin promise! The fuck is the important part.” 

He frowned, “seriously?”

“Come onnnn angel! For me?” He suddenly remembered that one movie where the girl had batted her eyes to get what she wanted and tried to replicate it the best he could. 

Grace looked at him like he was the one in pain. Still, he reluctantly grumbled out. 

“I . . . fucking promise” he said, slightly miserable at Simon's impaired state. 

“Whoo!” Simon threw his hand up in celebration before throwing himself at the ladder with zero hesitation. 

He heard Grace yelling behind him as he clumsily scaled down the ladder. It was hard with one hand, but Simon had practiced before with the idea that he needed to be able to move around the Hail Mary in any emergency. 

He stalled out slightly half down, readjusting his footing before trying to continue. As he got closer to the bottom he heard Rocky’s distinct chirping again, and glanced over his shoulder at the alien from where he was pressed against the xenonite barrier. 

A jolt of elation overcame him as he recalled his conversation from just a moment ago. 

“Rocky! I did it! He said fuck! Twice!” 

He thought Rocky made some sort of noise that represented confusion so he shook his head at the eridian. 

“No-no really! And damn! Holy shit!” 

His stomach flipped and he threw his hands up to do the stupid little jazz hands he knew he and Grace loved. 

Except he only had one hand. 

And that hand was supposed to hold the ladder. 

It was a surprisingly slow fall, at least from Simon’s perspective. It was only maybe four rungs? He wasn’t quite sure. He felt his back make impact first, and he wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. He watched as Grace’s blurry form descended the ladder above him. Not a terrible sight to die to in the slightest. 

Simon blinked slowly, the fog around his brain started to loosen with the impact he’d made. 

“Oh my god. That was really fuckin dumb” he uttered. 

Grace’s frantic muttering hit his ears after that. The taller man was throwing himself down at Simon’s side as he tried to stem the bleeding from his head. The bundle of fabric from before making its reappearance. 

“Oh Jesus Simon this looks so bad- it’s, you’re- you’re fine! Oh my god ohmygod-“

He could hear Rocky making some sort of vocalization, probably trying to talk Grace down from a panic attack. He could at least try to do the same. 

“It’s okay angel, just’ah scratch, yeah?” 

He couldn’t really tell, he obviously hadn’t looked in a mirror in the past ten minutes, but he was sure he’d probably just split his temple open a tad, head wounds tended to bleed dramatically. He raised his hand and tried to wake off some of Grace’s concerns. 

“It’s fine . . .it’s fine I’ll jussst close my’eyes a sec . . .”

Simon’s eyes were pretty heavy, he thought maybe he was having an adrenaline crash. Grace shook him frantically from his spot above him. 

“No! Do not fall asleep! Oh my god we’re going to Armando right now!”

Grace pulled at his arm and tugged him up into a sitting position, then from there he did his best to get Simon to stand. His stomach kept twisting as he tried to stand up straight. ”. . . fuck. I . . . feel like shit” he mumbled. 

Grace let out a noise that he tried to muffle, something like a sob. “I know, I know, but it’s okay- you’re gonna be fine.”

They stumbled down the hall together, he made it most of the way before Grace genuinely pulled his one arm over his shoulders and took the brunt of his weight, pulling him up onto the medical cot waiting for them. 

He heard the voice of Mary and watched Armando wave through the air around him distantly. Everything was watery again and he wanted to close his eyes and lean back and just do the dissociation thing Grace bugged him about. He did it all the time unintentionally all the time, how hard would it be to try?

Grace’s voice cut through the muffled noises, “Simon, please stay awake. Come on” 

he tried to respond, but he just kind of made a grunt of acknowledgement. The cot wiggled as Grace managed to hoist himself up next to him, he threw his leg over the opposite side and moved Simon until he was leaning his back against his front. 

“This is nice” Simon mumbled, even as the robot in front of him poked and prodded at his face. He leaned back as Grace wound his arms around his waist and shoulders. 

He just kinda stayed there for a while, drifting in and out of awareness. He felt Grace behind him, warm and grounding, which definitely helped tame the static at the edge of his brain. He heard Grace humming and talking intermittently, though he wasn’t sure if it was to him or Rocky, regardless of not understanding him. 

Eventually -he wasn’t quite sure how long- Grace moved away, he whined at the loss of body heat, but just as quickly the scientist came around to the front of the cot to hold Simon’s face up to a light- which stung but he tried not to flinch. He pressed a couple of pills into his hand which were probably for his headache considering he knew Grace wasn’t going to poison him anytime soon. He got to drink a little bit of water before Grace was very sweetly helping him get tucked into bed. Grace didn’t lay down but he did sit up next to him, leaning against the wall. He was so tired so it was all too easy to throw his arm up across Grace’s legs and drift off to sleep. 

Chapter 3

~~~~~~~~

When Simon woke up, he knew it had been a long time since he had fallen asleep. His mouth was bone dry and his head pulsed with a spike of pain, radiating out from one side across his forehead. He was sweaty the way someone is after taking a long long nap unexpectedly. The blankets around him were tangled up around his waist as he tried to sit up. Grace was missing, and he looked around the room but only found Rocky sitting against the barrier as close to his head as possible. He had his little camera spinning away at a laptop propped up nearby, though he couldn’t see the actual screen from where he was sitting. 

“Rocky?” His voice scratched in his throat. 

Rocky jumped and dropped his camera but made no further sudden movements. 

“. . . Friend Simon okay now question? Simon sleep long long long time, only wake up once.”

He squinted at Rocky as he tapped his little claws together in an anxious movement. 

“How long?”

”9.4 earth hours. Simon break face with chair bad bad bad” He blinked as he tried to process the way Rocky’s translator whined with distress “Rocky hate stupid chair. Hate hate hate! Bad chair hurt Grace Simon.”

He . . . had no clue how to respond to that. 

Thankfully, Grace came back from where he must have gone to get food. He had what must have been a meal ration of the oatmeal stuff he had introduced Simon to, two little bowls balanced in his arm and a mug in the other. 

“Si?” Why did he sound so nervous?

”Hi angel, you uh- you get tired of watching me sleep?” He tried to joke but he knew it failed when Grace hurried over, tears gathering in his eyes. 

He winced as Grace started arranging the food and drink he’d brought off the side and clambered back into the bed. “Grace I’m so, so sorry I broke the stupid chair and I think I bled all over the cockpit and I think I remember falling down the ladder? God that’s so fuckin’ dumb and I-“ trembling lips met his. He raised his hand to Grace’s neck like it was second nature. 

“Ugh Grace Simon gross gross gross” He tuned out Rocky’s teasing after that. 

He heard the shuffling of Grace pressing himself closer even as his eyes closed serenely. Two warm hands pressed against his chest and he hummed a sound into the mouth that eagerly took it. Grace tasted like home and safety and oddly of salt. 

Wait. 

He curled his fingers into blond hair and pulled himself back just enough to speak softly. “Are you cryin’?” 

Eyes half lidded gave him a view of Grace perched across his lap, eyes red. He sniffled. “No.” 

“What?” He leaned back as far as he dared, “you’re literally crying in front of me right now” 

Grace pressed even closer, hands slipping up his chest and neck to hold his face so delicately, one hand traced the very edge of the bandage he realized he had taped tight against his head. “No I’m not. Close- close your eyes” he literally sniffled through the words. 

“Angel” Simon said brokenly “I’m okay. I’m so sorry.”

Grace leaned forward to press his wet face into his shoulder, and he gently ran his hand through his hair. “I know. I know.” Grace still sounded like he was crying. ”I’m just so glad you’re okay now. I hate that stupid chair.” 

 “That’s not exactly what you said up there. It’s gonna be hard to forget the wrath of Dr. Ryland Grace savior of the universe”

He felt him laugh into his neck, which he liked to consider a win. 

Grace pulled himself back after a few minutes, wiping his tears roughly and clearing his throat. “I, uh, I brought you some food. And you can take some more medicine for inflammation and nausea if you still have any. When you woke up earlier you uh. . . You weren’t quite coherent yet.”

Simon frowned. “I don’t remember waking up so I guess I’ll have to believe you.”

He balanced his oatmeal in his lap, occasionally stealing glances at Grace. He looked over at Rocky watching his laptop again, how a rock could look so smug he’d never know. 

“Here,” Grace passed him a couple of pills which he took gratefully with a sip of the tea they were sharing. 

He hummed, thinking. “Sorry I broke the damn chair again”

Grace groaned like he had set something particularly upsetting, burying his face in his knees. 

Rocky whistled high and long, “Grace break chair first while fishing. Rocky show Grace how to fix, Grace bad pilot and bad engineer statement.” 

“Rockkyyy I told you I thought it’d be fine! I didn’t realize the bolts would get weak after so long!”

Simon looked back and forth at the two slowly, trying not to aggravate his head. “Am I lost because of the concussion or . . .”

”no no, Simon listen- this is so stupid” 

He watched as Grace gestured his arms around him as he and Rocky began regaling him with all the horrific details of the mission they’d undergone at Adrian, from Grace going out on the hull of the Mary to retrieve their collector with the sky on fire to the way they spun out into uncontrollable orbit around the planet itself. Grace told him about how Mary's spinning had bludgeoned him severely, nearly smothering him to death between the pilot’s seat and the unforgiving screens of the console. 

Just hearing about it made him nauseous again, how close Grace and Rocky had come to death, the two taking turns nearly sacrificing themselves for the other. 

“- So when I got up there and saw how the chair was out to get you this time, I kinda freaked out. Sorry for the swearing and stuff” he shrugged. 

Rocky knocked his carapace against the clear xenonite, startling Simon. 

“Grace not be sorry! Simon experiment success!”

”w-what?” Grace said confused. 

“Nothing! Nothing! Rocky’s just- confused!” Simon felt his face throb with pain from his head wound and the blood that rushed to his face. He put his arm across the barrier as if that would somehow make the three-foot tall alien disappear. 

“Rocky not confused! Rocky have crystalline brain- never forget!”

”Rocky be quiet!”

But Rocky was unperturbed, either he didn’t realize how badly he was about to embarrass Simon or he did and he was only playing this game for his sick love of drama. He couldn’t decide which terrible option he preferred. 

“Simon love when Grace say cuss! Simon have human mating response to Grace bad bad bad language” 

“you are the worst alien I have ever met!” 

“Rocky know Simon meet few alien. Unimpressed statement.”

”just you wait until I get my hands on you!-“

”Simon fleshy body burn up in Rocky atmosphereeee! Rocky safe forever” his stupid jazz hands made Simon want to strangle him. 

“Uh, Simon?”

He flailed and spun back to the other man at the sound of his name. 

Grace was red from the tops of his ears down to where his t-shirt lay against his collarbones. He wasn’t even sure he’d ever seen the man so flushed. His eyes were wide behind his glasses. 

“You . . . Like hearing me swear?” 

Rocky started making those stupid chittering noises from his tunnel and Simon slapped at the panels until they rattled. 

“You’re the worst! Can you just like- give us ten minutes you little pest?!”

Rocky danced away from the wall, darting out of Simon’s imaginary reach, he kept chirping and making stupid movements with his arms till he was climbing his magnetic bars to leave the dormitory. “Rocky go somewhere else statement pretend he not hear all of ship pretend he not hear Grace heartbeat fast fast fast”

There was a long silence that Simon filled with only the sound of his heaving breaths. His head throbbed and he winced just slightly. 

“Don’t hurt yourself on my account”

He jumped as he turned back to where Grace was sitting curled up next to him. He fiddled with the ends of the blanket across his legs. 

“Was Rocky right?” He had an odd look on his face that made Simon want to squirm.

“Uhm. Well. He- he wasn't quite right but he also wasn't- wrong?” He cursed himself for suddenly being so inarticulate. 

“So. You. . . Like it when I swear?” His voice cracked and went high at the end. 

Simon scrubbed his hand across his face as much as he could without screwing up his bandages. “Yes!” He blurted. “Yes I like it when you swear- I think it's stupidly hot of you and I know how stupid I sound and I promise I won't bring it up again and we can just move on-”

Grace laughed incredulously at him. He flushed with embarrassment again. 

“And I'm gonna kill that oversized piece of gravel for spilling my guts to you-“

“It's okay-” 

“It's just that ever since you said ‘fuck’ a couple weeks ago I haven't been able to stop thinki- what? It's what?”

Grace stifled a laugh with one hand, “its- it's a little funny that you like it. I think it's funny.” 

He felt like he lost all the tension he'd been carrying around for the past few weeks. 

“You don't- think it's weird? That I'm weird?” He stuttered out. 

“Come here you” Grace scooted himself closer, draping his arm across Simon's shoulders. He pulled his glasses off his face and they swung against his jaw dangerously as he leaned his forehead down until he met his uninjured temple.  

“I think that I like everything you do, except when you injure yourself unintentionally or somehow convince yourself that you're living out some vivid hallucination. I worked with children for over half a decade . . . So I kinda erased foul language from my vocabulary. But if that's what floats your boat I guess” he laugh and squeezed his arms around Simon's neck “maybe I can break out a few on occasion” 

Simon flushed at the notion. “but I- I couldn't figure out how to get you to say any” 

Grace raised one eyebrow, “is that what Rocky meant by experiment?” 

His eyes went wide with realization and he pulled back a bit, “wait- wait a gosh darn minute is that why you forgot your clothes for the shower last week?!” 

He whined with embarrassment and leaned forward to close the distance grace had just created. “Can we just pretend that didn’t happen? I could barely get you to say ‘Oh jeez Si’ and I was actually really cold the whole time”

Grace was still red and his eyes darted all around like he was trying to look at every part of Simon’s face at once. “Simon- I, uh well- I couldn’t- when you did that I couldn’t think of anything except your, uhm . . .”

he raised one eyebrow, had that try been more successful than he realized? He considered one of his last few ideas and thought, what was the harm of trying one now?

“My what, Ryland?” He rumbled. 

Grace threw himself backwards with a groan. He took one hand from its spot around Simon’s neck and slapped it over his eyes. His glasses went flying from their precarious position and disappeared  somewhere in their blankets. 

Bingo. 

A hot flush of pride welled up in him as he reached across to draw his hand up Grace’s side, leaning over to keep him from trying to escape. 

“Rylannnd-“

”Your muscles okay! Jesus you look like you were made to bench press cars or something!” 

Simon laughed at how scandalized he looked at his own admission. His was still laughing when he pulled Grace back towards him to press a kiss to his jaw. 

“Okay . . . so, my muscles, me saying your name, what else makes you tick huh?”

He pressed another kiss lower now, to the soft skin of Ryland’s neck, the shiver that it created was so satisfying, he hummed appreciatively. 

Grace was throwing an arm across the wide expanse of his back, arching back into his space. “Uhm- you, that. More of that- please”

“Hmmm I’m not sure I know what you mean” he gently pressed his teeth to the flushed skin that peaked out from his t-shirt. He groaned again as the hand in the back of his shirt pulled hard, nails scratching at him through the fabric. 

“Shit-“ Grace whined. He squirmed beneath Simon like he couldn’t hold himself still, panting hard. 

“Wait, wait- fuck” 

Something in Simon’s chest rumbled in delight, he buried his head in Ryland’s shoulder. “What angel? What do you need?” 

He pushed Simon back with the slightest distress on his face that had him focusing. 

“What- what’s wrong?”

Grace wiped at his face as if he was trying to clear his head, and he made a noise of disappointment. “It’s- just, you have a head injury” he bemoaned. “You're supposed to be resting- I’m supposed to take care of you!” He threw up a hand. 

Simon wilted for a moment, considering. He tilted his head back and forth, gauging his pain levels and while also admiring the way Grace’s blown out pupils tracked the swaying of his hair. 

“Is there a rule against kissing?”

”Well-“ Grace's voice was higher than normal as he contemplated his options “not- not necessarily? But it’s definitely not a great idea-“ “-here”

Simon pushed himself down into the pillows and pulled Grace over him, the blond flailed for a moment, disoriented. Simon simply through his arm up over Grace’s shoulders as he sighed, satisfied. 

“There. Now I’m resting. Right?”

He watched Grace above him as he giggled and grinned back down at him. 

“I don't know Si” but the giddy undertone of his voice betrayed him. 

Simon jutted his chin forward, eyes half closed. He dug his fingers into blond hair, slowly scratching out the tension just below warm skin. 

Grace dropped his head further down, almost boneless with the motions. He keened high in his throat as if he was fighting a losing battle. Simon sure liked to think he was. 

“Come on Angel, don't you wanna make me feel better?” 

Finally, he was leaning down to meet him for something that Simon wasn't even sure counted as a kiss- the hot press of open mouths as they breathed each other's air. He clenched his fingers tight into Grace's shirt before going limp, his arm falling to his side. He felt completely boneless under Grace's gentle hands, panting gasps of air even as he nearly cut his tongue against the back of Ryland's teeth. 

He thought maybe Grace was straddled above him now, warm thighs pressing him down into the mattress. Whatever he was doing gave Grace enough leverage to keep one hand tangled gently in his hair on the uninjured side of his head. His other hand pressed against his chest as Simon felt his heart hammering against the back of his ribs, strong enough for Grace to probably feel it up his arm. He reached for the bottom of the silly t-shirt he wore and wiggled his way up to press his fingers in the gaps between Grace's ribs. 

Ryland exhaled sharply into his mouth, “fuck. Oh fuck- Simon” he gasped, barely able to make the sounds to be heard. 

Simon just moaned out a response, wordless. He wasn't sure if he could speak at this point. Every muscle and bone in his body felt warm and weak underneath the warmth of his own personal star. 

Grace shifted, and suddenly the warmth he felt was multiplied by a hundred as Grace stretched out to lay across his front, both hands reaching out to cradle his neck. Simon huffed out the rest of the air in his lungs, he could barely breathe at all this point, might as well let his angel take it all in. But he only gave it back, trading back and forth long slow breaths as they laid there serenely. His hand- still under Grace's shirt, moved to run long swipes up and down his spine, running his palm along the swoop of his lower back, pressing his knuckles into every vertebrae. 

They started to lose steam at about the same time, smouldering out with contentment to just lay there wrapped into each other's arms. Simon shifted his legs to raise his knees, bracketing Grace's thighs as he wallowed further into the quilt beneath him. Grace winced against his face, brows furrowed enough that he could feel the movement. 

A hand against his neck moved down his chest, trailing softly till he met the bottom of his shirt. Simon breathed sharply, stomach flinching, and Grace moved passed to dig into the blankets beneath his own thighs. 

The clatter of metal and glass had him glancing to the side as Grace tossed his glasses none-to-gently to the side. He snorted at the glare the other man gave his own frames. Grace turned back to him with a tired look and buried his face into Simon's neck, mouthing at him soft and slow. 

He kept up his motions against Grace’s back, even as the warm weight across him and the press of lips on his skin had him blinking slower and slower. 

He must've stopped at some point because Grace was raising his head again to smile up at him, eyes half closed. 

“you falling asleep on me?”

He closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at Grace's shiny smile, blue eyes bright with amusement and satisfaction rolled into one. 

“. . . no” but it was a struggle just to say that. He was already drifting off again even though he knew he had just woken up not even an hour ago. 

Careful hands ran through his hair, he grunted as Grace rolled off of him to lay pressed against his side, blond hair smushed across his shoulder. 

“You can go back to sleep Si, you're healing, it's okay” he mumbled out. 

Simon tilted his head down into the soft hair that tickled his jaw. “I'm gonna take that chair and put it out the airlock” 

“Yeah?” Grace's quiet laugh echoed in his bones. “You and me both” 

They laid there in the silence for a while, Grace traced nonsensical patterns across his collarbones, breath fanning out over his chest. Simon buried his nose into the top of Ryland's hair, suddenly so tired but so cozy, he could only think that he'd probably want to stay like this forever if he was given the chance. 

But eventually, Grace would wake and work on his ridiculous science experiments and other projects. Rocky would tumble his way back into the dorm to tease then while making who knows what out of xenonite, Simon would go back to caring for their plants, and fixing random things here and there on the ship. They’d have breakfast, lunch and dinner together, they’d expand on Simon’s understanding of earth through countless movies and tv shows. There were so many reasons why this moments wouldn’t last, but each and every one promised more and more things that he wanted. He wanted to live. 

He fell asleep knowing that he would live and live well thanks to the man he cradled close. As well as the ridiculous alien just next door.