Chapter Text
I wake up to a voice. Not a familiar voice, at least not that I can tell from my half awake state. Ugh. Everything is sore. Where am I?
“Whatis to plu to,” i hear the voice say again, but my brain can’t process what it’s saying. I struggle to kickstart myself into some form of function- maybe if I sit up, I’ll wake up faster.
One problem- I can’t sit up. I can’t even open my eyes.
My lizard brain starts to panic. I can’t move my fingers, my toes. Nothing is responding to my desperate commands. Move, goddamnit! At least let my eyes open!
“What is two plus two?”
I forcibly open my eyes and regret it. It’s really bright. But I manage to keep them open. I see a…ceiling, a bunch of…god, cameras probably (wonderful) and some kind of …robotic arm.
“Eye movement detected,” it says. “What is two plus two?”
It’s pointed at me expectantly. I stare at it. I think it’s some sort of industrial robotic arm connected to the ceiling- some type of surgical one, maybe? My brain turns around the possibilities for a couple minutes, and then I remember. Two plus two. What’s two plus two.
“Fff”, I manage. “Ffffffou.”
“Incorrect. What is two plus two?” The arm says again, patiently.
“F-four,” I sputter out. Some kind of muscle memory is kicking in, a part of my brain that tells me that I trained for this. I prepared for this discombobulating scenario. What scenario is this exactly? Fuck knows!
“Correct,” hums the machine.
As my senses come back to me, my awareness of the room and myself expands. I’m in some sort of soft cot, or bed- maybe in a hospital. I hear nothing other than the whir of the robot. as for me, I’m naked with a breathing mask over my face and…a lot of equipment attached to me. IVs, electrodes, a catheter (wonderful), and other various tubes and wires. I look like a fucking marionette.
God. Where am I?
“What is the square root of eight?” The robotic arm asks.
I blink, and then blink again a little harder. I’ve got those crusty things on my eyes- I hate those.
“What is the square root of eight?”
“Two,” I push out, annoyed. Why does it need to know? It’s a computer. It’s like it’s checking my brain function, like I’ve been through some sort of….accident? Head injury?
“Correct,” says the machine.
Before I can stop them, my eyes drift shut again. Shit.
-
When I wake up again, I am elated to find my muscle function…somewhat operational. I flex my hands and try to stretch out sore muscles as the robot moves fast to take a million wires off my body. It leaves my IV and the two less ….desirable tubes. Unfortunately. With a bit of struggle, I sit up and get a full look at the room. There’s two other cots, exactly like…like mine….wait.
Yao. DuBois.
I remember their names, their faces, their voices- yes! Yes, it’s coming back to me, the boat, meeting them, the classes about math and science and- and- and this ship. We’re on a ship! Together!
I don’t see any movement from their cots, but they’re probably still asleep. I grin despite my exhaustion.
“Full body movement detected,” the robot- the ship says. “What is your name?”
“It’s-“ I squeeze my eyes shut and force myself to be awake, be aware. “Ilyukhina. Olesya Ilyukhina!”
The ship doesn’t respond, but I hear a soft click. The hatch. It’s the hatch in the ceiling, it leads to the rest of the ship. I want to shake Yao and DuBois awake, to go right now, to start our, our mission- our mission, what’s our mission?
I’m slipping again. God, I am so tired. And the ship will be here tomorrow. Yao and DuBois will be awake by then. Dubois will be grinning for once. Yao will hide his smile but I know he’ll be just as excited. We made it!
I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
-
The first thing I do when I wake up is check my tubes- yes, they’re gone. The ship must have removed them while I slept. I sit on the edge of the bed, feet dangling. I take deep breaths. We were put into comas, to make the journey safer. I remember now. The ISS astronaut that held my hand as I went under- Evelyn Ruiz, her name was. I didn’t admit it to Yao or DuBois, but I was terrified. Evelyn could tell, I think.
I also now know that I am in interstellar space.
I am further than any woman has ever been. I am history. We are history. Our mission, our goal- save the world. Astrophage is dimming our sun, and we are the chosen to solve the mystery and send it back to Earth. Earth’s saviors. That’s us.
An insane giggle breaks out of me. It does not feel real. Something 12 year old Olesya would never predict. And now she’s in deep space!
My feet touch the ground. I can’t wait anymore. I have to get the boys and go look at the rest of the ship. They haven’t sat up yet that I’ve seen. I know we’re headed to Tau Ceti, around 12 light years away. It’s the only star in the Astrophage infection area that’s not infected. We have to figure out why. Well, DuBois will probably figure out why. I’m the engineer, not the scientist. I wonder how far away from the star we are now? I have to know, now.
I take one shaky step, then another, then another. Walking! I am walking! I take a few more before I get a hang of it and hurry (well- as much as I can. I probably look like my grandma) over to the cot on my left. I can’t help my grin as I peer over the edge.
It’s- it’s-
DuBois?
“DuBois,” I say out loud, like it’ll change what I see. Because he’s not alive. He hasn’t been for….for a long time. He doesn’t even look human. He looks like a mummy. I’m trying to connect this skeleton to my friend, my crew mate, but my brain doesn’t want to.
“M-Martin?” I ask, my voice catching. I go to touch his hand and regret it. It doesn’t even- it doesn’t feel like skin.
I turn towards the other cot. The prayer from my childhood runs through my head of its own accord- the God it’s to rings hollow to me now, has for years, but I do it anyway.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
I walk towards Yao’s cot. Please, please, please.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
My hands grip the edge of his cot, my knuckles turn white. A scream is stuck in my throat. Please.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
He’s gone. He’s gone.
pray for us sinners,
I sink to the ground, still clutching his bed, and a sob finally escapes. I scream. I wasn’t- this wasn’t supposed to happen. We were going to do this together, we are Earth’s saviors. We were going to save the world together and die together. A crew. Brothers. Friends.
And now I’m going to die alone.
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.