Chapter Text
May 2554
A light just a ways down the hallway fizzed and flickered. The soft zzzt-zt was the only sound that Alex could hear past the percussive echo of his own heartbeat. He took one step, then another, and another, until the broken florescent light couldn’t reach him. His fingers fidgeted over the crumbling brick wall, fumbling around until they felt the slightest break in the mortar.
He took a deep breathe, and pulled the last box of explosives from his coat. It took effort, but he managed to shape the majority of the C4 in a way that would fit behind the loosened bricks. He’d have to settle for leaving the blasting cap slightly exposed. There was no way to hide it completely, and no way to ensure the remote wireless detonator would pick up a signal behind the bricks. When he was as satisfied, is that the right word? No, no it wasn’t. When he was as certain as he could be that he could do no more, he stepped back to slump against the adjacent wall.
His useless arm clanked against the floor as he let himself slide down.
Somewhere off in the distance, he could hear cheering. It carried through the dirt and the tunnel like a drumbeat. In two hours, if he’d set his watch correctly, the Accord was set to sign the domestication treaty.
In one hour, his supervisor would lead a small squadron down these tunnels and into the nearby subway.
In one hour, Alexander would look his superior from the OCNI in the eyes. He would ask them one final time to stop whatever madness they had planned to stop the treaty. He would not beg and he would not plead. He would stand there, the ink stains of over a dozen MIA reports from the day before still painted on his palms, and ask if the possible deaths of everyone in that plaza was worth it. Terran and Affini both.
He knew the answer already, of course.
Terrans were stubborn. They were stubborn and spiteful and scared and they would bite and kick and scream and fuss like a child at bedtime who refused to understand that staying up all night would make them feel sick the next day. The unknown terrified them. He'd already suffered that lecture once before.
“We didn’t go to the stars because we thought they were beautiful,” she sighed. Her fingernails scratched and picked at a splinter on her office desk, peeling it up and taking with it the rest of the rotten layer of grain. “We went because we were scared.”
“That seems like a simplification, don’t you think?”
“I wish it were. In the last week, I haven’t had a single patient come in that didn’t have something to say about their time on a spaceship. One told me she earnestly thought that something in the vents wanted to crawl out in the dead of night and chew through the electrical system. I’ve seen her for years, dad. She’s never shown any signs of psychosis. Every evaluation I’ve ever gave her came back clean... Unless you count the perpetual fear of space food.”
“You and I both know -”
“- that whatever is in those cubes shouldn’t legally count as food?” She interrupted.
Alexander leaned forward, resting his chin on his good hand. “...You and I both know that whatever Ensign Denver brings onto those ships should be legally classified as a carcinogen and thrown into the vacuum of space. The fear isn’t unreasonable, and if you think it is then you should be editing your own chart.”
“What you make isn’t food, it’s a science experiment!”
“You sound like your patient, Ollie.”
Alex flinched as the curled up splinter was flicked at his face, and from the laugh his daughter was giving it was clear she was enjoying the sight.
He cleared his throat, collecting himself before continuing: “one group of patients doesn’t represent Terrankind as a whole.”
“Then why did you make such a big fuss out of playing ‘Finding Nemmy’ when I was a kid?” She countered. “You made such a stink about checking every tiny nook and cranny for that thing when I was barely out of diapers. You said he only ever showed up in the dark. He was scared of the light because he couldn’t let mom see him getting into the cookie jar, so we had to hunt for him at three o’ in the dead of night!”
“You wouldn’t leave your room to go to the bathroom without your Mother or I -”
“- because the house was dark, Dad.”
“Because the house was dark. Yes. I don’t see how this -”
“- for an entire month!”
“I assure you it -”
She grabbed one of the stuffed toys in her office and stood to haphazardly shove it into Alexander’s face. “Let me talk. You asked me a question, and if you don’t let me finish, I’m telling mom why we had to throw her favorite mug into the trash last year. So shut up.”
“Hmmmf-”
“You didn’t encourage me to play midnight explorer because you thought I’d like it. You did it because you got sick of walking me to the toilet every other night when you could’ve been catching up on sleep. You shoved my nose into every corner and dust bunny in that house because you wanted me to see there wasn’t anything to be scared of.”
“Mmmphf- Mrph!”
“You always told me if something scary happened, you’d be there. You walked around with a giant metal flashlight every time we looked together like it was some big club. How is that any different from us sending out armed ships into the depths of space? Have you even been outside your house lately? Have you see the public speculation on the new Xenos?”
Alexander finally reached up to remove the stuffed toy from his face. Ollie didn’t stop him from lightly tossing it back into the bin she’d grabbed it from. “You’ve made your point. You could’ve done so without shoving lily the leopard into my face, mind you.”
“Lena the leopard.”
“Are these really affective in your therapy sessions?”
“You’d be surprised how much having something like this can help settle someones nerves.”
He knew their answer.
They would say the end justified the means. They would say it with their whole hearts and chests that the free Terran spirit was worth the lost lives of a few xenos and the traitors that stood by them. They would go out there, make a scene, and be stopped in short order by the Affini. Their suicide mission, for lack of a better term, would go on to inspire even more acts of violence and dissent. The sight of the Affini subduing uniformed OCNI agents would cause panic. It would appear on every propaganda broadcast in Terran space.
As Alexander brushed a calloused thumb over the detonator, he felt his breathe hitch in his throat as it burned.
In one hour, Alexander would look his supervisor in the eyes. He would salute them one last time.
In one hour, OCNI would suffer a tragic loss right before the signing of the treaty.
There would be no civilian casualties. If they ever managed to find the bodies in the collapsed maintenance tunnel, they would find him buried under rubble with the detonator in hand. No one else to blame. No way to spin it on the Affini.
What’s the life of one old, crippled man to billions? What’s one soul for peace? He wished he knew the answers, but he was okay not knowing. His only regret, as he felt the weight of Lena in his coat pocket, was that he’d never told his family goodbye.
Maybe that was for the best.