Chapter Text
In the Muggle world, there is a lot of debate on whether soulmates are real or just another part of an idealistic fairy tale. Even the majority of the wizarding world feels the same way. Yet there is a handful of wizards that do know the feeling of what it is like to have another person out there meant specifically for you. To know that there will never be the struggle of searching through people to find the one. Never having to doubt if you were actually meant to be.
This is because of a special type of magic that still flows through some pure bloodlines. While it is rare, when a witch or wizard turns of age, the name of their soulmate will appear on their body. And while it is not guaranteed for all pure bloods, it is guaranteed for the Potters. The gift never skipped a generation, from Hardwin to Henry to Fleamont and now James.
This is not a gift without its entailments. Even though one lucky enough to have a soulmate gets to skip the struggle of the dating pool, there is still an intensity that comes along with it. The one bearing the mark becomes more in tune to their other half and experiences fiercer needs. A desire for closeness and a deep sadness when met with rejection. While it has never happened to a Potter, there has been rumors of those bearing the mark being met with death when met with refusal from the other party. Death from a broken heart is one of the most painful ways to go.
James feels no need to worry about that fate, though as he knows deep down he has already met his soulmate. His Gryffindor, Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams with a heart of gold. He'll have the love story his parents did, he'd chase the girl, he'd get the girl, they'd be school sweethearts, and directly after graduating they'd get married and have kids of their own.
James only had to wait three more hours and he'd have the thing he's been waiting for since he was old enough to hear the story of soulmates. James has never really wanted for much in life; he has the perfect friends and the perfect family. Soon he’ll have the perfect soulmate. It is the one thing James has had a genuine craving for. But tomorrow would be March 27th, and James would finally be of age.
The entire day has been spent blissfully dreaming about his life with Lily. How he'd bring her home this winter break to spend her first ever Christmas as part of the family. His first Christmas with a soulmate. How she'd instantly get along with everyone because who couldn't love her? How he'd get to choose her wedding ring and have his whole family witness their union. How they'd try for kids shortly after.
Sirius and Remus gave up on trying to get his attention shortly after breakfast. It was obvious James wasn't going to be mentally present for the day, instead choosing to stay in his own world. Not even Snivellus could disrupt his good mood.
He had even found time to talk to Lily today and tell her about all the things he was prepared to do for her once her name sat across his skin. He'd die for his soulmate; nothing would be unattainable when it came to them. He'd waited his whole life for her, for someone who was truly meant for him and him alone. To spend all his days with like all those before him. It was his right as a Potter. He'd even go as far as to say he'd kill for them. It was in his blood after all, to care for his destined.
But then again, James always did like to take things to the extreme. Ever so eccentric in his ways. Unfortunately for him, though all he could do now was wait. As the minutes ticked by his skin crawled more and more with excitement. He didn't know whether to sit down or stand up. To work on homework or go for a fly around the pitch. His body teetered on his own indecisiveness.
He almost wished he could wait with Lily until midnight so he could be right with the girl when he felt the bond take place. But alas, she was stuck in the girls' dormitory after curfew and he'd have to wait till morning. The marauders had tried to entertain him and keep him distracted to pass the time, but nothing worked. It was like every night before Christmas or a Birthday packed into one. And there was no way James was going to sleep anytime soon. The marauders promised to stay up with him so they could all get a look at Jame's mark together. They were all James ' family in some way, so it only made sense that they were there for him.
After a painstaking attempt at listening to some of Sirius's records that he had snuck in, it was finally 11:55. Five minutes and Jame's life would finally begin. His heart was beating faster than it did after winning a Quidditch match. His palms were sweating so bad that he had to run them over his comforter every thirty seconds. They all gathered around like there was going to be some big show of light and magic when the clock struck twelve.
It was nothing like that though. When the time finally did hit twelve it was like an overwhelming sense of calmness rushed over him. Like he was floating underwater where he could breathe and it was neither too warm nor too cold. Like his bones dissipated from his body and he no longer had to worry about anything ever again for the rest of his life.
Then, just as quickly, it was like he was pulled from this cocoon of water and straight into euphoria. A streak of adrenaline shot straight through his body and the air he gulped into his lungs felt powerful. His fingertips went numb and the feeling dragged throughout his body until he finally settled with an exhale.
There was a spot above his heart that felt as if it had just been branded but instead of a searing pain it was like an overwhelming weight was dropped upon his chest. He instinctively knew that this is where his mark now lay. His fathers was on his wrist and his grandfathers upon his inner forearm. He almost felt proud that his own was right where his heart lay. As if it had already proved that his bond would be one of fairy tales.
He couldn't savor the moment for even a second more, the desire to know the name he now bears outweighing any hesitation or fear. James leaps off his four-poster bed pushing past the boys surrounding him and barrels into the shared bathroom. Long tanned fingers grab hold of his bed shirt's collar, grip so strong that his knuckles turn white. Everything around him seems to dappen, the sounds of his friends and the lights of the bathroom fade around him as he hones in on that spot above his chest.
For the first time all evening, James wondered what would happen if it wasn't Lily. The thought vanished as quickly as it came. Then with one last deep breath he tugs his shirt down revealing the mark.
James truly believed that in that moment his heart had stopped. His skin that had once been so warm went icy in milliseconds. Every aborted breath that he tried to take burned like fire. He had to squeeze his eyes shut and cram his fists into them as if he was wiping off his glasses to fix his vision. As if this was all some cruel joke his own eyesight was playing on him, or maybe it’s another one of those pranks that have gone just too far being played by the other marauders. Because there is no way this is really happening.
There will be no love story, no wedding, no white picket fence. James will die......he ruined the one thing he ever truly wanted from life before he even got it and he has no one to blame but himself.
James Potter has officially ended his family’s gift.
The name written in an elegant script in black ink above his heart reads......
Severus Snape.
It took the marauders several minutes to get James off of the bathroom floor and back onto the bed. They basically had to drag him there, Remus and Sirius each taking an arm as James dragged his feet. At first it was as if he had gone catatonic, no sound or movement coming from the boy. That didn't last long though because as soon as his body got the memo uncontrollable sobs racked Jame's body. The ugly kind of sobbing where you let the snot roll down your face and each cry gets stuck behind the last.
The other boys didn't know what to think, not understanding what could have caused such a reaction. It was obvious to them that the name James got wasn't Lily but they didn't know who it could be for it to be this bad. It was clear to them though that they wouldn't be getting any information out of him until he stopped crying.
Even though it only took James about thirty minutes to stop crying it wasn't until several hours later that he finally came too out of his stupor and said something.
"I don't know what to do."
He was utterly lost on what the next step was. If the name on his chest was Lily's or just about anyone else's, then James had already had a plan. In the morning James would show up outside their door with an armful of flowers and profess his undying love. He'd walk them to breakfast and show everyone in the great hall that he had found his one. He'd spend the whole day with his beloved at his side, parading around the connection they now shared. He can't do that with Snape. He fully believes that if he showed up to the Slytherin common room with an armful of flowers to profess his love to the man he'd end up with a killing curse to the face.
"Not to rush you mate but we can't help you without knowing who it is."
Sirius speaks up slapping a hand down onto his best mate’s shoulder. Sirius never assumed that the name his friend would get would be Lily's. It was to idealistic in his opinion. Even with that being said though he never expected this reaction from him just because it wasn't her.
James didn't think he could get the name Severus Snape to leave his mouth so instead he opted for gripping his shirts collar for the second time today and pulling it down to reveal the name. The room didn't erupt into immediate chaos like he assumed it would. Instead it was eerily silent on both ends.
After the incident that happened last year Sirius tried very hard not to think about Severus Snape. Letting him find out about Moony was almost a deadly accident that had nearly torn their whole friend group apart. It wasn't until recently that Remus had finally forgiven him. So in turn he thought better of messing with the boy anymore. It didn't take a genius though to realize that this was bad news for all of them. There was no way after what they did to him that Snape would ever accept James as his soulmate. Fortunately for James he and Sirius were like brothers and there would be no way Sirius would ever risk losing him. He knew deep down that Remus also felt the same. So they needed a game plan.
"We can get through this." Came the comforting words from Remus. He never really had that much dislike for Snape but also didn't feel the need to intervene when James and Sirius would harass him either.
"Yeah, we just need to think this through and come up with a plan is all." Sirius had no idea what plan could possibly work for a situation like this but for James he would think of one.
All James could think about was every bad thing they had ever done to Snape. The horrible nicknames, the jinx's, the bullying. Then there was the even worse stuff, like the incident and how he handled it after. James remembers watching him almost die after being attacked by Moony. His soulmate almost died before he even got the chance to know.
James was just so sure his soulmate was going to be Lily, and he couldn't handle how close he was to her. He couldn't let her be corrupted by the Slytherin. He was damned sure he would become one of them. A death eater. He didn't want anything bad to happen to Lily, so every chance he got to knock the boy down he took it.
Then, after the whole Moony incident he was scared, he was going to reveal their secret and get Moony expelled or possibly killed. So his solution was to scare the boy into submission by the lake that day. He regrets it so much. Even before he knew Snape was his soulmate, he still saw how losing the boy as a friend devastated Lily.
There was absolutely no way to fix several years of torment. No matter how much he wanted to try he doubted Snape would ever even be willing to be his friend. He would never look at him the way his mother looks at his father.
But that didn't mean he wouldn't strive for it anyway.