Chapter Text
Ralph didn't think much of it when the first person congratulated him.
He was heading to third period when a girl from his English class smiled at him in the hallway.
"Congratulations, Ralph!"
He slowed down. "Uh... thanks?"
The girl grinned, clearly expecting him to know what she was talking about. When he didn't say anything else, she laughed and continued down the hall.
Ralph frowned after her.
Congratulations for what?
For a moment he wondered if he'd forgotten something. Maybe the swim team had won some award?
By lunch, however, he'd been congratulated five more times.
At that point he was a little concerned.
Piggy and Simon were already sitting at their usual table when Ralph arrived.
"Can you stop that?" Piggy complained, swatting Simon's hand away from his opened bag of chips.
"I only took three."
"You took like half the bag!"
"No I didn't."
Ralph dropped into the empty seat across from them and immediately said, "Why does everyone keep congratulating me?"
//
Piggy and Simon looked at each other.
That made Ralph suspicious.
"Oh, no."
Piggy looked away.
"What did SamnEric do?" Ralph said, rolling his eyes.
"What makes you think this is their fault?" Simon asked, taking another chip.
"Because whenever something stupid happens around here, it's usually their fault."
Simon couldn't even argue with that.
Piggy sighed and pulled out his phone. "Before I show you this, I'd like to state that I had nothing to do with it."
Ralph stared at him.
"What happened?"
Without answering, Piggy slid the phone across the table.
The screen displayed a Instagram post.
At first Ralph didn't understand what he was looking at. Then he recognized the photo.
It had been taken during fundraiser setup the day before. Jack was standing beside him, holding onto the sleeve of Ralph's hoodie while arguing about where some decorations should go.
Ralph remembered the argument vividly.
What he didn't remember was standing close enough together to look like a couple.
Apparently the camera disagreed.
Across the top of the image was a caption:
Congrats to Jack and Ralph on their engagement 💍❤️
Ralph stared.
Then he looked at Piggy.
Then back at the phone.
"You're joking."
"I wish."
Simon had already buried his face in his arms because he was laughing too hard to speak.
Ralph picked up the phone and scrolled down.
He immediately regretted it.
The comments were somehow worse than the caption.
Half the school seemed convinced it was real.
People were congratulating them. Some were claiming they'd predicted it months ago. One person had written an entire paragraph about how happy they were for them.
Ralph dropped the phone onto the table.
"Have these people lost their minds?"
"Probably," Piggy said. "But that's not the worst part."
"The worst part?"
Simon pointed toward the opposite side of the cafeteria.
Ralph followed his gaze.
Jack was standing near the choir table while Roger held up a phone for him to see.
Jack looked horrified.
Actually, horrified wasn't a strong enough word.
He looked like somebody had told him the world was ending.
As if sensing he was being watched, Jack suddenly looked across the cafeteria.
His eyes met Ralph's.
Ralph immediately knew two things.
First, Jack had seen the post.
Second, this was somehow about to become his problem.
Sure enough, Jack handed Roger's phone back and started walking toward him.
"Oh, this is bad," Piggy muttered.
Jack reached their table and stopped.
For a second neither he nor Ralph said anything.
Then Jack pulled out his own phone, opened Instagram, and shoved it directly in front of Ralph's face.
"We are not engaged."
Ralph stared at him.
"Yes, Jack. I was aware of that."
"Then explain why everyone thinks we are."