Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

There had been few moments where Sieun had felt true embarrassment in his life, but somehow this one might have been the worst, ironically in front of an audience of one.

It had been going well, truly.

Until this point.

His girlfriend, Jiyeon, lay naked on the bed beneath him, her long black hair spread across the fresh sheets he had changed 3 times in a panic before she arrived earlier that day.

The issue wasn’t her. There’s no way it could have been.

She was beautiful in a way that was completely effortless: slim waist, full breasts, soft lips, and those wide, round eyes looking up at him with nervous anticipation. Everything about her was soft and inviting. Any sane man would’ve lost self control just from the sight of her on their bed like this.

So why the fuck couldn’t he get it up?

He’d been putting off this stage of their relationship for almost the entirety of their almost 6 month long relationship.

They’d met on her first day of the school year at their university campus; Jiyeon being a freshman. He could still vividly remember her standing outside a random lecture hall looking utterly lost, pouting slightly. Sieun, having gone through the exact same thing last year, instantly offered his help.

He gave her a few directions. That was all it should have been.

Instead, the times where she’d appear wherever he was were gradually increasing in frequency, to the point where he had started to question whether it was fate or just her own doing. What began as a polite gesture towards a fellow student had progressed into frequent lunches in the dining hall and shared walks across campus that he never asked for.

He could tell she had a crush on him. He wasn’t stupid. Reluctant to let her down, he had decided to give her a chance to let his feelings grow naturally.

Before he even knew it, they went on a first date, then a second, and finally a third when he asked her to be his girlfriend, mostly to get rid of that painfully desperate look on her face every time she looked at him, silently begging him with her eyes to ask her out.

At the beginning of their relationship, Jiyeon seemed to genuinely enjoy that he wanted to take it slow. In reality, he had never really been big on romantic affection in the past, spending the entirety of his teenage years with his head buried in a textbook. In fact, she was his very first girlfriend.

“Oppa,” she’d start, beaming up at him. “I’ll forever be glad I picked you to fall for. You’re so different from the rest of these men out there.”

She’d tell him this constantly, her voice always tinged with relief.

What began with clammy hand holding then progressed to occasional pecks, then to longer awkward makeouts. They had stopped at the point where they’d grope each other over their clothes, but never dared to go further.

He had discovered he had preferred it that way. Her quiet hums of approval every time he’d suck a sensitive spot on her neck just right, or cup her jaw firmly as they were locked in a deep kiss gave him a warm feeling of accomplishment that would bloom in his stomach whenever her hands threaded through his hair in pleasure. As for whenever she tried to further things by sliding a hand lower down his torso or under his shirt to meet bare skin, he’d gently catch her wrist and push her hand away with a small smile.

“Could we stop here?” he’d whisper into the crevice of her neck as he held her, nuzzling into her body heat. “I enjoy doing this, but I wanna take it slow.”

This would only work a certain amount of times he would find out, as his ever so patient and loving girlfriend had slowly began to get irritated at his behaviour.

It happened one random evening, her arms crossed as Sieun cuddled her in his bed, watching some random cheesy rom-com she had picked out on his laptop.

“Oppa.” she spoke after a few minutes of silence, nudging him slightly. He hummed in response, sparing her a split second sideways glance.

“Why don’t we ever touch each other or have sex? I’ve never seen you naked.”

Fuck.

He immediately choked on his spit, quickly removing his arm from around her shoulder to splutter into the sleeve of his sweater.

The movie playing in the background fizzled out into static in his ears as he stammered out the first logical response his brain could provide him.

“Jiyeon… what do you mean?” he frowned a little. “I told you I wanted to take it slow.”

All of a sudden, even though that had never been a problem in the past, he was finding it extremely hard to look directly into her eyes in that moment. He decided to zero in on a random corner of the computer screen, hoping he looked so focused on the movie that she’d just drop it.

“I know.” he could almost see her eye roll in his peripheral.

“It’s been almost six months though, oppa.” she slightly cozied up to him, blinking seductively through her long eyelashes. “I think that’s slow enough, don’t you think?”

Sieun found himself feeling a little irritated at her mention of the slow progression of their intimacy, yet the feeling was absent from his face, hidden under his usual mask of stoic composure.

“I guess…” he trailed off, keeping his sentences short to just end the conversation. Thankfully enough, she turned back to the laptop screen and continued watching.

Thank God.

The thought of their conversation loomed at the back of his mind, gnawing at him for the remainder of the week. It even clearly showed in his demeanour during his weekly hangout with his friends. He was noticeably quieter than usual, and that was saying something, given that everybody was used to his normally introverted personality.

He absentmindedly kept stirring the water in his cup with his straw ( yes, he still drinks water with a straw, sue him ) in slow circles and barely touched his food the entire time while his friends ate, letting out a small sigh every few seconds.

Juntae was glued to his phone the entire time, absentmindedly chewing on a piece of meat while Humin and Hyuntak were engaged in an intense conversation, the two of them making up about 99% of the energy at the table.

Humin noticed Sieun’s odd behaviour first, breaking out of his childish bicker with Hyuntak.

He snapped his fingers to get Sieun’s attention, as he was zoned out staring at a cold fry that had fallen off of his plate.

“Yo, what’s up with you today? You’ve been weird as hell the whole time. You fail a test or something?”

The two boys unengaged in the conversation gave Humin a look, as if he had just said the sky was pink.

“Don’t be ridiculous dude.” Gotak slapped his hand on Humin’s upper back, making him splutter. Gotak received a light shove in return and leaned back, smirking. “Probably girl trouble. How’s Jiyeon?”

Fuck, right on the money.

Sieun instantly stiffened up, unable to conceal his body language before his mind caught up to even process his question. The constant knot in his stomach that had been there since that conversation tightened. For a moment, he considered lying about it and saying it was nothing. He knew they’d drop it eventually if he was convincing enough.

But in truth, he needed advice. Someone to talk to about unexplored territory he wasn’t nearly prepared enough to venture on his own. What better person to confide in about this particular concern but Baku, the infamous campus womaniser that he happened to have as a friend?

At first, he said nothing in response, staring at the table in quiet thought. Then, without any warning, he spoke in a low, strained voice.

“She wants us to-“ Sieun paused in hesitation, taking in a small breath. He couldn’t believe he was saying this out loud.

“…She wants us to go to the next level soon for the first time. And I’m scared.”

The table went still for a second.

Humin blinked in slight confusion. “Wait, you haven’t done it yet?”

Sieun felt his cheeks burning in embarrassment at Baku’s bluntness, his bare secret laid out on the table for the three of them to pick apart. He resisted the instinct to fan his warm face and pointedly decided to ignore his question, clearing his throat.

Humin tutted.

“If anything, I’m shocked you haven’t gotten any from the ladies yet.” He reached out to pinch Sieun’s cheeks playfully, ignoring Sieun’s small protests in annoyance. “What are they doing, ignoring a face like this?”

He continued talking. Baku finally released Sieun’s cheeks from his tight pinch but kept his body leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.

“Dude… like jokes aside, listen. You have to get to that stage eventually. Jiyeon’s a beautiful girl, man. Like, seriously hot. You’ve got a girlfriend who actually wants you, and you’re over here stressing like it’s some final exam. Just do it. Once you get past the first time, it’ll get easier. Stop overthinking and enjoy it.”

Gotak nodded in agreement, chewing on a piece of meat as he followed along with the conversation. “Yeah, exactly. Baku’s right. She’s been patient with you this long. You don’t want her thinking you’re not attracted to her or something. You are, aren’t you?”

Sieun nodded without hesitation. I mean, of course he was.

He’d have to be blind not to see how beautiful she was and how lucky he was for being able to call her his girlfriend.

Juntae, who had also been quietly listening in while scrolling on his phone, finally spoke up. He set the device down and looked at Sieun.

“There’s no rush though,” Juntae said calmly. “If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. Six months isn’t that crazy if you’re both taking things slowly. Talk to her about it. If she really likes you, she’ll understand. Don’t force it just because you feel pressured.”

Humin shrugged, and went back to arguing with Hyuntak about whatever the latest gossip that had been circulating around campus was about. Juntae gave him a small smile in support and returned to his phone.

Sieun stayed silent after listening carefully to his friends perspectives on the matter, staring down at his now cold food. He took in all of their words, stuck in deep thought about the situation.

Baku had a point, but although it was true, why couldn’t she just be happy with what they had now? After all, he made it his goal each and every time to make sure she was happy in every other aspect of their relationship. Couldn’t she at least be a little considerate of his preferences?

But see, if he wasn’t so overly cautious about the topic, he’d see both of their points. At this stage of their relationship, other couples probably would’ve gone further than what they had done, and would be having sex multiple times by now.

He just… isn’t the type of person to get into those things so fast.

In fact, Baku had hit it right on the head. He was actually a virgin.

At twenty years old, Sieun had never actually had sex with anyone. Not once. And up until now, he had convinced himself that it didn’t matter. After all, he’d had a rough high school experience, dealing with learning to beat the shit out of bullies while still making sure he was on top of being prepared for the CSAT. He had no time or interest for girls.

And yeah, due to that he was a little bit ( very ) sexually inexperienced. But he didn’t necessarily regret it, he had better things to do.

Guess it did matter now.

To keep his girlfriend happy, he agreed to setting a date where they’d finally do it.

They’d finally try to go further.

And so that was how he ended up in this extremely awkward position on a Friday afternoon, arranged only due to the fact that his girlfriend had noticed their schedules were perfectly lined up at that point in time.

Nervous wasn’t even a strong enough way to put it. He wasn’t even sure if there was a word to explain the constant chills running through his body along with the giant pit in his stomach that made him feel faintly nauseous everytime he thought about seeing Jiyeon naked. He liked her, he really did, but he felt so— anxious about it.

Sieun was the type of person to break down every problem into neat bullet points, to treat life like one long study session he could ace if he just prepared hard enough. He liked structure, liked knowing the right answers.

Textbooks made sense. Exams made sense.

But having sex with Jiyeon? It was a whole new territory he was terrified to explore. No amount of studying could prepare Sieun for this.

But Baku was right. It had to be done.

His arms bracketed her on each side on the bed as they slowly made out, his hand cradling her face. His touches were careful and hesitant at first, almost as if he was afraid that if he’d press too hard he’d break through her skin. His eyes were avoiding anything of hers below the shoulders. Her bare breasts pressed into his chest, but he felt so awkward he had no idea what to do, whether to reach down and touch them or keep his hand on her cheek.

Sieun’s lips traced along her jaw, hesitantly leaving wet kisses as he trailed down to her neck. She let out a sharp moan as he sucked on a particular spot on her neck, latching onto the skin for a couple of seconds before pulling back and observing the reddened patch from what he had just done.

Oh, how he’d grow to regret doing this seconds later.

Somehow that triggered her into finding the motivation to dig her fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants, successfully lowering them to his mid thigh.

She looked at Sieun when he didn’t move. “Oppa, take them off.”

Sieun quickly kicked them off after her request, embarrassed at himself missing the obvious cue. Soon enough, he was left in his t-shirt and boxers.

Her hand slipped downwards between their bodies, finding the location of his clothed dick pretty easily without breaking eye contact and immediately palming over his boxers. She paused slightly once she felt that Sieun was fully soft.

Her lips parted as if she was hesitant to say something, her eyes scanning his face for a split second. Sieun shut his eyes tight, praying she wouldn’t comment on his currently… flaccid state.

As suddenly as she stopped, she resumed trying to get him fully hard after a few seconds with vigor, as if suddenly overcome with motivation again. Sieun let out a choked groan feeling the sudden stimulation on his dick, opening his eyes to observe her small hand on him. He looked at his girlfriend’s face, only to see a small smirk, a result of witnessing his expression of slight pleasure which was a stark deviation from his usual neutral face.

“Do you like that?” she peered up at him in anticipation, eager to earn more sounds of pleasure from him. He slightly nodded in agreement before pulling her into another deep kiss. She licked along the roof of his mouth as she continued to rub sensually at his clothed crotch.

However, one minute stretched on into multiple that dragged by slowly as the soft strokes over his boxers became rougher due to the frustration of how long it was taking.

He wasn’t getting hard.

Not wanting to disappoint Jiyeon, Sieun started to lower himself between her legs, wanting to make it about her instead of him in order to salvage this clearly failed venture. He still wanted to do something new and try go down on her for the first time. After all, he would rather she get something out of this than spend all her time worrying about him. Jiyeon stopped him however, a firm hand on his shoulders.

“No, come back up.” she had looked more determined to get him hard than she ever had in any other situation Sieun had seen her in before.

Not wanting to let her down, he obeyed and moved back to his original position , and so she tried again. For another 5 minutes, she had switched from a slow pace to fast, before growing so impatient she had lowered his boxers, his soft cock popping out.

She wrapped a dry hand around his bare cock, jerking it in fast, frustrated strokes. Her grip was tight, almost too tight, but no matter how skilled she was or how slowly or quickly she moved, he stayed completely soft. There was no twitch, no hardening, nothing.

Sieun closed his eyes again in shame, hissing quietly in discomfort due to the friction of her hand around him.

That too, clearly did not work.

Jiyeon was clearly at her last wit, the arousal clearly fading on her face with every second that ticked by. She abruptly stopped and withdrew her hand, clearly pissed off at his lack of sexual arousal.

“I’m tired. Let’s just take a nap instead.” her face was stripped of emotion as she pulled herself up from her previous position underneath Sieun, leaving him to quickly pull up his boxers to get decent again.

“You sure?” he began. “I can-“

“It’s fine.” she bluntly cut in. She stood up, wrapping one of Sieun’s zip-ups she found on the floor around her body and pulling on a random pair of his shorts that dangled loosely around her hips. Today, the warm sense of pride he should’ve felt whenever she wore his clothes was drowned out by the overwhelming pit of embarrassment he felt for not being able to make her happy.

She climbed into bed, laying on her side, and pulled the covers over herself, facing away from him.

Minutes passed in complete stillness. The air in the room was completely awkward after those horrible past 20 minutes. Sieun lay next to her on his back, staring at his bedroom ceiling. He could hear the soft rise and fall of Jiyeon’s breathing next to him, almost hesitant as if she didn’t want him to know she was still awake.

Well. What a disaster that was.

He wanted to say something to her. Anything. An apology, an explanation, a promise that next time would be different. But the words died in his throat, pushed back down into his system.

Eventually the built up exhaustion for the past week won. The constant anxiety that had been gnawing at him for weeks about this finally claimed his body. His eyes grew heavy, and without meaning to, he drifted off into a deep sleep.

When he woke up, it ended up being late into the night, the room now blanketed in pure shade of black instead of the grey hues of the cold afternoon he had fallen asleep under.

“I must’ve been under for hours.” he thought to himself. His head turned to his digital clock, its soft red glow reading 12:54 AM. His mouth was unnaturally dry, and he felt a pit of dread in his stomach before his mind could even catch up with the stirring of his body from the sleep.

He turned his head.

The space beside him was empty.

The sheets were cold and rumpled where Jiyeon had been. Her clothes were gone from the floor where she left them after taking them off. The zip-up hoodie and shorts she had borrowed from him earlier were folded neatly on the desk, like she’d taken the time to put everything back in order before leaving.

Sieun sat up quickly, his heart hammering in his chest. He blindly reached out for his phone on the nightstand in the dark to text her. His fingers were clumsy as they closed around the familiar rectangular object in a tight.

The screen lit up, blinding him for a second. He rubbed his eyes with the knuckles on his free hand as he swiped with his other to open their message thread to text her.

Sieun:
Jiyeon? Did you go home?

He waited. The typing bubble appeared, disappeared, then appeared again.

Jiyeon ❤️:
yea, sorry
Jiyeon ❤️:
i just couldn’t stay tn

Sieun:
You don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who should apologise, tonight was my fault and i promise i’ll make it up to you next time.

Jiyeon ❤️:
it’s not just tonight sieun
Jiyeon ❤️:
idk i feel like I’m doing something wrong like I’m not attractive enough to you or something.
Jiyeon ❤️:
every time I try to touch you, you always push me away and keep making excuses.
Jiyeon ❤️:
when we finally tried to do something more we couldn’t cause you couldn’t even get hard
Jiyeon ❤️:
like come on dude you haven’t let me touch you once until today

Her words of brutal honesty washed over Sieun like a bucket of freezing cold water, sobering him up instantly from the effects of sleep. Sieun stared at the screen, thumbs hovering over the keyboard.

Sieun:
Please don’t think that
Sieun:
You’re beautiful. Really. It has nothing to do with you.

Jiyeon ❤️:
then why
Jiyeon ❤️:
we’ve been together for half a year. it makes me feel disgusting, even if you say the opposite

Sieun:
I do want you.
Sieun:
I’m just slow with these things. I told you I’m not experienced. It’s not because I don’t find you attractive.

The message was indicated as read on his screen.

A long pause. No typing bubble.

Sieun began typing again before any hesitation could kick in.

Sieun:
Jiyeon?

Jiyeon ❤️:
see you around, ok?
Jiyeon ❤️:
we’ll talk about this in person

Sieun:
Okay
Sieun:
Goodnight Jiyeon <3

Jiyeon ❤️:
night

The last message in the text thread just sat there, cold and final. No hearts. None of her nicknames, not even her usual “oppa” to show affection.

Just ‘night’.

Sieun slowly lowered his phone and stared at the ceiling. The silence in his dorm room felt heavier than before.

He refused to confront his ever so growing worries and doubts that had multiplied tenfold over the past couple of minutes.

He rolled onto his side, curling slightly into himself even though the room was warm. His arm slid under his pillow as he stared blankly at the empty space where Ji-yeon had been just hours earlier. The sheets still smelled faintly like her, the citrus notes of shampoo mixing in with the air. He inhaled slightly, a soft scent of orange filling his senses and he shut his eyes in complete exhaustion.

She needs space, he told himself as he was pulled under to sleep.

That was fine. Logical, even.

He felt a quiet sting in his chest at the memory of their text conversation, feeling nauseous with guilt.

He had made his own girlfriend feel that way, all because he couldn’t do the most simple thing and get hard for her. Because he couldn’t be normal.

Sieun ruminated over the issue for hours in bed, the guilt preventing him from sleeping. He hated hurting people more than anything, yet it seemed to be completely unavoidable no matter what he did throughout his life.

He couldn’t stop thinking of the disappointment in her face, the bluntness and clear tone of hurt in her texts, it revolved in his mind beyond his will.

Eventually, he fell asleep, but it still never really came.

He drifted in and out of a shallow doze, waking up during every hour that ticked by with the same heavy weight pressing on his ribs.

The weekend that followed was no better. Sieun stuck with his previous idea to give her some space. He spent the entire of his Saturday morning holed up in his dorm room with every intention of catching up on lectures. He resolved to scribbling notes in his workbook, textbooks and empty pens spread across his desk as he listened to the recorded lectures, but his focus kept fracturing due to worry. Every couple of hours his hand would drift to his phone, screen lighting up as he checked for new messages.

Nothing.

He refreshed their chat again and again, the same blank space staring back at him.

No reply. No good morning. Just cold silence.

By the time the evening rolled around he gave up on studying entirely.

He tried watching a recorded lecture, then switched to reviewing his notes, but his eyes kept sliding back to the phone lying face down beside him, that hadn’t lit up even once.

Still nothing.

Sunday told the same story, and by Monday, he resolved to speak to her in person.

Sieun had spotted her outside on the grass after his morning lecture.

“Jiyeon!” he called her name, waving his hands so she could see him as voice carrying across the courtyard.

Ji-yeon’s shoulders stiffened.

She glanced over her shoulder, eyes wide for half a second, then turned and walked quickly in the opposite direction, disappearing into a crowd of freshmen before he could catch up.

His heart dropped as he watched her speed off. Well, so much for see you around.

Give her space.

The phrase echoed in his head like a broken record, but he knew deep down that he needed to talk to her soon.

“Next time,” he thought. He turned on his heel and walked away.

The very next day, a clear skied Tuesday, he had waited outside her first-year building. She emerged from the doors with her friend, another first year named Yeongyi, both of them laughing at something on Jiyeon’s phone. The moment she locked eyes with him, her smile dropped instantly. She muttered something to Yeongyi and veered sharply in the direction of the dorms, practically power-walking away.

Her friend stood still, baffled by the suddenness of it all. Sieun gathered up the courage to walk up to Yeongyi, now left alone due to Jiyeon’s split second decision to go elsewhere.

He cleared his throat, greeting her with a small wave. “I saw Jiyeon say something to you, and she’s been avoiding me. We did have a minor fight, but I didn’t think she would be this unhappy to be around me. Was there something else that I did?” He shifted from side to side nervously, searching her eyes.

Yeongyi opened and closed her mouth multiple times, as if she was battling with herself not to say something that she wasn’t supposed to. Analysing her face, Sieun just knew there was something more that he wasn’t in on.

“Listen Sieun..” she began, meeting his eyes and unable to hide the look of pity.

“I think this is something you need to ask her yourself. I don’t really wanna get between the two of you like that.” . With that she took a step backwards, then a second, and did a half wave before turning and leaving too.

Sieun stood there, hands clenched at his sides, watching her disappear around the corner.

Wednesday and Thursday was no different. It became apparent that she had just finished a class in ‘How to Avoid Yeon Sieun 101’. She had managed to master the art, not even appearing before him once, not even a glimpse of her signature long black hair thoughout the crowd of students in the hallway.

By Friday, the message was brutally clear. She was avoiding him at all costs. He was so conflicted on what to do. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand the thought of losing yet another person because of his actions.

As the evening rolled around, he stepped out of his bathroom after a night shower, hair dripping with water and a towel slung around his waist.

There were three new messages from Jiyeon.

Sent at 11:07 PM.

Jiyeon:
i know i’ve been avoiding you this past week, and i am sorry. i just needed some time to myself to think.
Jiyeon:
i’ve been thinking about it a lot and i don’t think we’re compatible. i’m sorry. i really tried but after 6 months, i feel like everything i feel for you hasn’t been reciprocated. after that night, i don’t think i could be able to convince myself that you actually want me.
Jiyeon:
please don’t text me back.

Sieun reread it three times, the words blurring slightly. The words sat like ice in his chest and his throat tightened.

Making an effort to salvage his very first relationship, he opened the text box of their conversation and started typing.

Sieun:
Jiyeon I understand how you feel and I really am sorry for making you feel that way.
Sieun:
Please come, or i’ll go to you so we can talk. I do want you. I’ll do better next time I promise you.

He hit send on both.

Neither went through.

A small red exclamation mark appeared next to it.

Not delivered.

Sieun frowned to himself and tried sending it again. Same result. He refreshed the chat twice.

Then he noticed it. the last messages from her were the only ones visible. Her profile picture was gone. He couldn’t see her status. He couldn’t even see when she was last online.

She had blocked him.

Sieun stared at the screen for a long time in disbelief, the glow lighting up his face in the dark room. Yeah, he knew she had been growing extremely frustrated lately at his reluctance to progress to this stage of their relationship, but he didn’t know she felt this strongly about it.

Part of his brain tried to rationalise it.

“Maybe she just needs space,” he thought. “Maybe if I wait until morning and explain everything properly to her, we can fix this.”

Morning rolled around.

Sieun woke up earlier than the alarm clock had set. He rubbed his eyes with his fingers, letting out a small yawn. As soon as the sleep dissipated from his vision, he became overcome with a motivation to fix their problems and win Jiyeon back. He was sick of letting things that were good for him slip through the cracks due to his own carelessness.

He began to prepare for the day, stepping into the bathroom to brush his teeth quickly.

He had already made a mental plan of how the day was going to go for him. He’d never been one to care about romance before Jiyeon, but if there was one thing he learned from her reactions while she watched all of those cheesy romantic movies that she loved on their nights together, it was that showing up on her doorstep with flowers and an apology was one of her biggest soft spots.

He proceeded to get in the shower, spending extra time in there just thinking, left alone with nothing but his thoughts. He came back out of the bathroom into his bedroom, towel slung around his waist, water droplets running down his torso.

He managed to dress up within a couple of minutes, albeit with a little less speed than usual.

While he was in the middle of changing, he thought of the Ahn house. He rarely went over there, Jiyeon preferring to come over to his dorm more for ‘privacy’. But he knew deep down that it was subtle code for ‘my brother doesn’t want you around here because he doesn’t like you’.

Ahn Suho.

Jiyeon’s older brother, who took a single look at Sieun at the front door hand in hand with his little sister, with his pressed shirt and hands folded politely in front of him and decided right then and there that he completely disliked him.

With not even a single word exchanged between them.

What made it worse was that Sieun had seen him in passing around campus many times before he met him face to face, being in the same year as Suho. The disregard in the way he treated Sieun that evening was such a stark contrast to how kindly he’d behave around campus that it almost gave him whiplash.

He was the golden boy of the university, the protective older brother, the person who was so sociable and easy going that everybody felt comfortable around him. Everybody who met him, from the students, to the teachers and to the cleaners had nothing but good things to say about him.

And yet, Sieun experienced the absolute opposite. He almost shivered with the memory of the humiliation he experienced back then, pushing it back to the corners of his mind as he slipped on his shoes.

Sieun stood in front of the small mirror in his dorm, adjusting the collar of his black cardigan. He had chosen his best outfit for this occasion, a soft black knit button up cardigan worn over a clean white t-shirt, paired with his favorite pair of loose grey jeans that sat comfortably on his hips. He finished the look with his chunky white sneakers, the ones Jiyeon had once said made him look “taller and cooler”.

He didn’t usually put this much effort into his appearance, but today felt different. He wanted to look put together, reliable, and show her that he cared about this.

About them.

He stepped out onto the pavement, beginning to walk the half-hour journey to her house. On the way, he remembered his earlier mental note to stop by the flower shop that he and Jiyeon had walked by during the winter, where she had expressed her love for flowers.

“Oppa!” she excitedly pointed at the show window with her finger, her other arm linked with his tightly. “Look how pretty those are.”

Sieun nodded along back then, smiling down at her.

Presently, he stepped in. The store was countered by a sweet looking older woman, who gave him a warm smile upon his arrival.

When she asked him what she wanted, he was helpfully reminded of her favourites by his memory, and picked out a bouquet of white lilies and pink roses.

“Is this for your girlfriend?” she made small talk while packaging the bouquet.

“Um… Yes. Yeah.” Sieun spluttered through out the basic word, mentally slapping himself.

The lady smiled fondly at his nervousness.

“Whoever she is, she’s a lucky girl. I rarely see young men like you here so early.” she finished and handed it to him.

He said his thanks, paying and turning to leave. He felt a little nauseous upon being reminded of Jiyeon. He had hoped she would feel the same.

He stopped further down the street to purchase her favourite expensive chocolates she loved but rarely bought for herself, finally completing his side quests.

With the bouquet in one hand and the chocolates in the other, he had finally arrived at the Ahn house, naturally quiet due to the earlier hours of the day. He peered at the garage, noticing Mr and Mrs Ahn had already gone for work.

He stood at the front door, and gave a quiet but firm knock. There were a few moments of silence, then an audible sound of someone’s feet padding down the stairs loudly, along with a male voice, clearly disgruntled at whoever had knocked at that hour. Even though it was already 11am.

Shit.

He knew exactly who that was. Sieun stiffened a little upon hearing his voice.

The door suddenly inched open, Suho keeping an eye out to see who it was, then swung the door open in its entirety. Sieun swallowed in discomfort upon locking eyes with him. Suho leaned against the doorframe, a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Well well well…” Suho dragged out each word, his calculating eyes flicking over Sieun, over the flowers, the chocolates, his carefully chosen clothes before his eyes returned to meet his eyes again. His mouth curled into a mocking smirk.

That’s what he fucking grew to despise about Jiyeon’s brother. The way his eyes landed on Sieun every time he saw him, analysing him, picking him apart and putting him back together again under his gaze as if he was somehow insignificant.

He really couldn’t place what he did to him to make him act that way towards him specifically.

“So, state your reason. Thought you would’ve gotten the hint by now.” Suho drawled, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke directly into Sieun’s face.

Sieun’s eyes stung with the smoke, blinking a little faster. He barely held back a cough, turning his head slightly as the acrid smell filled his nose.

He ignored the rudeness and kept his voice steady.

“Is Ji-yeon home?” The wrapping of the bouquet crinkled in his hand and he held the chocolates closer to his body.

Suho blatantly ignored the question. “You know, out of all of the people my little sister has dated, I’m shocked that you two have lasted this long.”. He took one last drag of his cigarette and angled his head up this time, blowing into the morning air. He dropped the cigarette between them, stamping on it with his slipper. Sieun automatically inched back, not wanting the cigarette to burn the hem of his jeans.

Sieun’s hand instinctively clenched with the disrespect of his words. Their relationship was practically hanging by a thread at this point, but he’d rather fucking die than let him have the satisfaction of knowing that. But of course, Suho noticed, a glimpse of amusement showing in his facial expression.

“Oh..” he chuckled. “Seems that there’s trouble in paradise.” He took mercy on Sieun, deciding to answer his previous question instead of pressing on.

“Where is my baby sister you ask? Well… I’ll ask her if she wants to see you first.” he stepped backwards into the house suddenly, blank faced as he slammed the door in Sieun’s face. There was silence, then footsteps leading up towards presumably the second floor.

The fucking nerve of that bastard.

Sieun pressed his tip of his tongue into his cheek and crossed his arms as much as he could without crushing the flowers and chocolate, almost at his last thread of patience. There was just something about Suho every time he interacted with Sieun that made him boil inside. He had been bullied multiple times, physically beaten, but no one had gotten his blood rushing like Suho, who had ironically never laid a hand on him but had managed to get under his skin more than anybody else.

The door swung open again after a couple of minutes , making Sieun startle and breaking him out of his train of thought. Suho looked Sieun dead in the eye, looking as serious as possible.

“Forgot to tell you. She’s at a friends house.” Suho said, shrugging. “Called her up, told her you’re here. Seems you can’t do that in advance before fucking coming over, but she doesn’t wanna talk to you.”

Sieun’s stomach fell, all the anticipation built up in his body suddenly shattered by the hands of someone who couldn’t give less of a fuck about his feelings. He looked down at his feet, he couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t look him in the eye.

Suho placed a firm hand on Sieun’s shoulder and stretched his other towards the chocolate box and flowers. “She’ll be back soon though so.. if you want, i’ll take these and-“

In that moment, Sieun was suddenly motivated to stand up to him, having had enough of his attitude.

“No.” Sieun interrupted, voice firm and louder than his usual quiet tone, head raising to meet Suho’s eyes. Suho looked taken aback by the sudden change in tone, eyes a little wide and lips parted before it was replaced with his usual amused expression.

Sieun continued. “Look, I know you don’t like me. And I know you wouldn’t give these to her. I won’t bother you. Please let me in so I can wait for her patiently.”

“Sieun… seems that you’ve forgotten your manners, but not like you had any in the first place. Look at the way you raise your voice at your girlfriend’s older brother.” he tutted, looking him up and down with mock disgust.

Sieun didn’t respond, staying silent in anticipation for his answer. The silence stretched on before Suho spoke again.

“Say please again and maybe i’ll consider it.”

Sieun instantly met Suho’s eyes in disbelief. It seemed he was hellbent on putting Sieun down and humiliating the fuck out of him. He just loved to feel superior.

Sieun internally calmed down and reminded himself of who he was doing this for.

If he had to grovel to this asshole, so fucking be it.

“…Please. Can I be let in. To wait for Jiyeon.” Sieun let it out in stunted sentences, clearly having a hard time getting it out.

It seemed that that was sufficient for Suho, as he stepped to the side to let him in. Sieun followed in as Suho shut the door behind him.

“Come.” Suho beckoned with his finger, passing Sieun and leading him into the living room.

Sieun had already known that the Ahn family were not poor by any means. They were what people would call comfortable, a word that was used by rich people who had a lot more money than they ever wanted to admit. The room was spacious and modern yet cozy, the morning light filtering into the room through transparent lace curtains. All four walls were pure white to match the curtains, with one wall hosting a larger flatscreen TV than Sieun had ever had ever seen before in his life. An adjacent wall that was dedicated to family photos stood out to him.

Sieun took a step forward, approaching the wall mounted with countless photos before he heard a cough behind him.

He turned only to see Suho behind him, indicating him to sit down. Sieun decided to sit in the corner of the couch, as far away as possible from Suho, who had taken a seat on the opposite end.

Suho nodded towards the contents of his hands, then towards the coffee table. “You can put those down now.”

Sieun carefully placed the flowers down on the coffee table first, then the chocolate box, earning a scoff from Suho that he decided to ignore.

They had sat in silence for all of 10 seconds before Suho decided to open his mouth again.

“So…” Suho trailed off and stretched his arms above his head. “There a reason why my baby sister hates you right now?”

“Is he that unable to resist the urge to bother me?” Sieun thought to himself, rolling his eyes internally.

He responded to Suho’s invasive question, letting out a loud sigh in irritation before he spoke. “She doesn’t hate me.”

But doesn’t she? After all, it had been almost 24 hours since she had blocked him, and maybe coming to see her in person was too early. He was starting to have second thoughts about his decision to come to the house, thinking about leaving and coming back later. He had still asked to come in to be fair, but he wasn’t thinking about the fact that he’d have to spend the next couple of hours under the scrutiny of a man who seemed hellbent on putting him down every chance he got.

Suho’s leaned forward, already ready to combat Sieun’s denial. “Didn’t seem so to me. I know my sister, she doesn’t block people for no reason. What’s the issue?”

Sieun straightened up. “How did you know she-“

“Context clues.”

“What’s it to you anyway?” Sieun snapped, annoyed by his presence.

“I mean, sorry for asking. Maybe you could use my help.” Suho shrugged with a half smile.

Sieun let out another loud sigh in response, his eyes fixed directly on the bouquet laying there limply on the coffee table, not daring to look anywhere else. If anything, at least he wasn’t stupid enough to accept his ‘help’. They both knew Suho wanted him gone.

And it wasn’t like he could do anything anyway, given the nature of the issue.

Suho let out a low chuckle and spoke again. “Look, if you actually want to fix this, you’re gonna have to tell me what’s wrong. She’s my little sister. I can help you sort it out.” His voice dropped into something almost coaxing. “Come on, Sieun. Don’t you trust me?”

Sieun felt almost nauseous at the sudden change in tone, shifting uncomfortably.

Sieun finally looked at Suho, expression flat at his question.

“I don’t. You know I don’t.”

Suho leaned further back into the corner of the couch, watching Sieun with lazy amusement. He tapped his fingers against the armrest for a moment before starting to guess.

Sieun became absolutely rigid when Suho started his guessing game.

“Did you cheat on her?”

Sieun’s head snapped up in offense. He would never. He wasn’t that kind of guy.“No.”

“Say something cruel? Forget her birthday?”

“No.”

Suho’s grin widened, clearly enjoying himself. “Then what? Too boring? Too cold? I’m sure she found enough reasons to dislike you.”

Sieun stayed silent, jaw clenched so tight it ached.

Suho’s eyes narrowed, studying him like he was some specimen under a microscope. Then his expression shifted into something sharper, more delighted.
“Wait…” He let out a playful, almost disbelieving laugh. “Don’t tell me… you’re not performing right in the bedroom?”

Sieun’s breath hitched. He could tell Suho had meant it as a joke, something that was meant to dig into his skin, but he couldn’t stop himself from reacting at the sudden accuracy.

A tiny, mortified sound escaped him before he could suppress it. His fingers instinctively dug into the material of his jeans. His face burned instantly. He looked away immediately, mentally wishing the floor would swallow him whole in that exact moment.

Even though Sieun wasn’t looking at him in that moment, he could feel Suho’s eyes bore into his soul, almost picturing the way Suho’s eyes would light up with pure, wicked satisfaction.

“Oh shit,” he breathed, voice dripping with mocking delight. “I’m right, aren’t I? That’s why she dumped you. You couldn’t get it up for her?”

Sieun couldn’t respond at this point, horrified by this conversation, and who he was having it with. He was sure he was purely red by now as his face burned even hotter. He wanted to deny it, but his reaction said it all.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me. You try being in my shoes and see how it affects you.” Sieun said, slightly sulking.

“Wouldn’t have that problem in the first place.” Suho’s smirk stretched even wider, relishing in the others embarrassment.

“If you’re so fucking good in—“ Sieun coughed, unable to say it out loud. “that area, then why don’t you tell me what to do to make it right then?”

His preposition wasn’t serious, just a snarky comment to make Suho finally shut up.

Suho hummed, as if he was actually considering it.

“Would be better if I showed you.”

The silence that followed afterwards was deafening.

Sieun stared at him.

For a long moment, his brain short-circuited, and something deep in him, desperate and exhausted— made him actually consider it.

“…You would do that?” Sieun asked quietly, voice low and serious. “Show me? How?”

Suho’s eyes widened a fraction as soon as the words left his mouth. He blinked once, very slowly, staring at Sieun as if he’d grown a second head.

“The fuck? I was joking dude.” Suho breathed the last bit of the sentence out, almost in disbelief that Sieun was taking him seriously. He really had no sense of discernment.

Sieun’s stomach dropped, yet again. Mortified was too mild of a word to use in this situation.

He had just seriously enquired as to whether his girlfriend’s older brother would be down with… showing him what exactly?

Maybe Sieun was more perverted than he thought.

He looked away, horrified at how quickly he had considered it, how pathetic he must have sounded then.

“I- never mind. I’m sorry.” he muttered, ears burning. He wished he could disappear into the couch.

Another long pause. Suho spoke up, voice rougher this time.

“But you’d let me?”

Sieun looked back at Suho in confusion, making eye contact with him. He felt a strange feeling in his stomach upon being caught up in Suho’s suddenly intense gaze, no trace of humour visible on his face. There was something behind his eyes that Sieun couldn’t quite place.

Sieun’s throat went dry. “I’m not gay.”

He wasn’t trying to make Suho think he was some weird pervert. That would fuck things up even more and give Suho a real reason to hate him, and he was not trying to make that happen.

“Neither am I. That’s not an answer.” Suho responded. His face was completely blank. Sieun felt so cornered with Suho’s eyes on him that he couldn’t stop himself from being honest with the next words that came out of his mouth.

The room went from breathable to stifling, an almost thick, suffocating tension stretching between them.

“Yeah, maybe.” Sieun mumbled, his answer barely audible.

Suho’s demeanour completely changed upon hearing Sieun’s admission, like an invisible switch was just flicked on.

“Alright.” Suho said quietly, voice low. “I wanna know some things first.”

He leaned forward a fraction, the two still far apart from eachother on the couch, but Sieun now felt like they were still too close, his chest clenching with each movement made by the other.

“Where do you like being touched?” Suho asked, almost gently. “Your neck? Chest? Legs? Or do you like to skip straight to the point and have someone play with your cock right away?”

Sieun went completely taut at the complete unabashedness of Suho’s questions. His mouth opened, but nothing came out at first. His mind was blank. He’d never experienced enough of anything to even answer that question accurately.

“I… don’t know.” he whispered.

Suho looked confused by his response. “You.. don’t know?”

Sieun lowered his head and shook it from side to side, his ears burning and face hidden behind his hair.

“That’s what I said. I don’t know.”

Suho’s voice was increasingly soft as he asked him more questions, but there was an unfamiliar, almost hungry edge to it underneath that Sieun had no idea how to feel about.

“Then do you like being praised? Told you’re doing good? That you’re pretty when you’re hard and desperate? Or do you like to be degraded instead?”

“What the fuck…” Sieun rubbed his temples, overwhelmed by the sudden shift in energy. “You don’t have to be so—“

“So what?” Suho interrupted, a knowing glint in his eye. “Tell me.”

“I. don’t. know.” he repeated, punctuating each word this time to show that he was being dead serious.

Suho watched him for a long moment, eyes narrowing slightly as understanding dawned on him.

“You’ve never actually been touched by anyone before, have you?” he asked. “Not properly.”

“Wait… do you even touch yourself?” Suho seemed unbelieving that Sieun was that inexperienced.

Sieun’s silence in response was answer enough.

Suho clamped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide in shock. “Your dick might be broken. Maybe this is a problem for the doctor to handle.”

Sieun gave him a dirty side look. “No, that’s not it. I’ve just never been interested in those things.”

“Not even with— with her? Not even a couple of times? One time?” he continued, voice rising a little higher in amazement, as if Sieun was the only one on this planet to be inexperienced.

He really couldn’t let it go until Sieun had told him upfront.

“…No.” Sieun forced it out through gritted teeth.

It was so bad that if you had asked him to count on his fingers the amount of time he had initiated intimacy or allowed his girlfriend to touch him sexually, not a single finger would’ve been up. But Suho didn’t need to know all of that.

Suho exhaled slowly to that, almost a sigh. The corner of his mouth curved into his signature smirk.

“Okay.” he nodded.

“I want you to find out what makes you feel good, Sieun.” His hand reached out to settle on Sieun’s thigh, making him startle and look back up instinctively.

“But since you don’t know… I’ll decide for you tonight.”

Sieun’s breath hitched sharply at the heavy weight those words held. His whole body tensed again, fingers digging into the cushioned couch beneath him.

“Come closer.” Suho commanded, his stare locked on Sieun.

Sieun paused for a second or two, mentally going through the implications of what they were going to do. Although it felt a little weird, there was no deeper meaning to any of their actions, at least on his side. He had to do what he had to do to fix the one thing that created problems with Jiyeon, and if this was the way to fix it, so be it. He wasn’t actually attracted to Suho, and they both liked the opposite sex. It was just a means to an end. That was it. Nothing else.

Eventually he obeyed. Suho removed his hand when Sieun started moving, using his hands to hesitantly inch closer towards Suho’s side of the couch. He stopped when he felt their thighs touch, side by side. Suho returned his hand and slid it a little higher on Sieun’s thigh.

Sieun’s breath hitched, startled by the sudden contact.

Now the two were even closer than before. Sieun could see Suho’s features in detail he’d never seen before at this distance. He mentally mapped out the long length of his lashes and the way they fluttered, the darkness of his eyes, his lips shaped in a way that indicated that he was going to speak.

Suho’s voice dropped even lower. “Good. Now sit still.”

Sieun bit his lip unconsciously at Suho’s words, deciding to obey. Suho’s eyes darted all over Sieun’s body, as if he was mentally planning what to do. He suddenly let out another scoff like he couldn’t believe what was about to happen, dry and humorous this time.

“Holy fucking shit dude, this is so fucked…” Suho lowered his head into his free hand and let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head slightly.

“What is?” Sieun whispered even though it was just the two of them, suddenly all too aware of the awkwardness of this situation.

“I’m about to help my little sister’s boyfriend get a boner so he can win her back. What the hell do you think? “ he lifted his head to lock eyes with Sieun, his gaze tinged with a hint of amusement even with the vulgarity of what he said.

Sieun could even swear up and down that he could see the corner of his lips slightly lift up as the words left his mouth.

What the fuck is wrong with him?

“Please… don’t say it like that.” Sieun groaned quietly. “You’re making it weird.”

“Is it not weird?” Suho retorted with a raised eyebrow.

“Doesn’t have to be.” Sieun said, answer short and clipped. At this point, they had gone long past the point of no return, and Suho’s inability to shut up was pushing doubt to the front of his mind.

Suho nodded, shrugging in acceptance. His hand had started to move more deliberately, yet still casual. The presence of his touch felt heavy and warm through the fabric of Sieun’s jeans. Sieun choked on his spit, senses heightened to the point where even the slightest touch was amplified. He had no idea why Suho’s hand just laying on his thigh was so much more intense than all of the other physical touches he had received in the past.

Maybe it was the fact that with Suho, he had no reason to try and impress him, so he wasn’t as nervous to receive his touch.

Suho’s fingers flexed once, testing, before sliding even higher, stopping just short of Sieun’s crotch.

“You’re really considering this…” Suho murmured, eyes never leaving Sieun’s face even as his hand continues to grab and squeeze at the clothed fat of Sieun’s thighs. “Letting your girlfriend’s brother touch you just so you can fix your relationship issues. That’s pretty fucked up, Sieun.”

Sieun’s heart hammered against his ribs, the humiliation of Suho’s words seeping into his skin like poison. He still didn’t pull away, even with how heavy it settled in his chest. The strange flutter in his stomach had turned into something hotter, heavier.

“Then what does that make you?” Sieun fired back.

Suho ignored his question, gripping even harder as a silent response, making Sieun hiss in slight discomfort. “Pull your jeans down.”

Sieun froze. His breath stuttered in his chest.

“…What?” He was praying he had just made that last sentence up in his head.

“You heard me.” Suho’s gaze didn’t waver. His tone was calm but left no room for argument. “If we’re really doing this, I need to see. Pull your jeans down, Sieun.” he repeated himself again, silently communicating a warning through his words.

Sieun was left feeling confused by this new dynamic that had suddenly developed between them, an almost sick sense of anticipation settling at the bottom of his stomach.

With shaky hands, he began to unbutton his own jeans, slowly dragging the zipper down to the bottom. He lifted his hips just enough to lower them down to his knees, leaving him in his boxers, his bare thighs now visible.

He couldn’t believe this was happening. An hour ago he was deliberating on how much he wanted to leave, but right in that moment he felt like he was glued down to the spot.

The thin fabric felt impossibly thin now. Sieun’s cock was soft underneath, barely making any shape against the material. He kept his gaze locked on the floor, ears burning, mortified at how exposed he already felt.

He felt a firm hand under his chin, tilting his head back up to force eye contact with
Suho.

“Look at me.” he murmured.

Sieun’s mouth went dry. He had no problem looking people in the eye, but with Suho, he felt like a mouse caught by its predator. Suho bit his lip slightly while inspecting the other’s facial features, manipulating his head with the fingers under his chin. Suho’s hand was now touching his bare skin. Sieun’s eyes flickered downwards. He had never been touched like this before, so firm and grounding, and it made him breathe in to deal with the overwhelming sense of a new feeling he had never felt before.

Upon seeing Sieun’s reaction, a flicker of doubt passed across Suho’s face.

“Or not.” he chuckled. “Might be a turn off seeing that it’s me doing it.”

He deliberated on his next sentence. “You could pretend I-“ Suho paused, not wanting to ruin the mood by bringing his sister up.

“You could just imagine I’m your favourite porn actress or whatever. Just close your eyes.”

“I don’t have one. I don’t watch porn.” Sieun immediately said back in honesty.

Suho scratched at his head with his free hand, at a loss for words. “Then… fuck it, I don’t know. Let’s just get this over with.”

Suho removed his hand from Sieun’s chin before he looked down to take a look at what he was working with. His eyes instantly locked in on Sieun’s now partially naked legs.

Suho was eerily silent in that moment, expression completely indecipherable.

Before Sieun could even guess as to what he was feeling, Suho’s hands started moving. His fingers drifted slowly up and down his thighs, fingertips lightly dusting the newly exposed skin, tracing the smooth flesh of Sieun’s thighs. The touch was light at first, almost teasingly gentle, but it sent sparks racing straight to Sieun’s groin, making him fold his lips in to hold back any noises.

“Spread your legs a little,” Suho said quietly, more demand than request.

Sieun breathed in, obediently parting his thighs, the denim bunching around his knees. The new position gave Suho even more access, his inner thighs and crotch now more exposed, the thin black fabric of his boxers stretched over his hips, cock visibly outlined.

Suho’s fingers continued their exploration, stroking up and down the warm, sensitive skin of his inner thighs, occasionally brushing dangerously close to the edge of his boxers but never quite touching where Sieun was starting to ache.

“Do you like this? Being teased?” he whispered. Sieun tilted his head up to meet his eyes and almost instinctively pulled back due to the fact that they were now inches apart, not realising how close they had gotten in that space of time.

“Ye-“ Sieun stuttered, held captive by Suho’s intense stare. “Yes. I do.”

He had felt his cock starting to stir, blood rushing downwards due to Suho’s teasing. He was so overwhelmed and embarrassed at how sensitive he was that he had started trembling.

“You’re shaking,” Suho observed, voice low and amused. “Getting worked up already? Just from me touching your thighs?”

From this distance, Sieun couldn’t hide.

He noticed everything.

Sieun bit down on his lip, trying his hardest to withhold his body from squirming, but his hips twitched involuntarily. The slow, teasing strokes were driving him insane. Heat pooled low in his belly. His cock, which had been completely soft minutes ago, was now twitching and filling under the thin fabric, growing harder with every pass of Suho’s fingers.

It was almost painful how quickly he was getting hard.

Suho’s fingers stilled for a brief moment on Sieun’s inner thigh, then suddenly slid upward and cupped his cock softly through the thin black fabric of his boxers.

A broken, involuntary sound, almost a whine, tore out of Sieun’s throat at the direct simulation. He clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle the noise, unable to hold it back.

“Let me hear you, Sieun-ah.” Suho’s voice had gone rougher, watching his reactions intently as his large hand pressed and rubbed against him with slow, deliberate pressure.

Sieun quickly shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and refusing to look at Suho’s hands on his bulge.

“Mm mm.” a muffled hum sounded through Sieun’s hand, still clamped over his mouth, even tighter.

Sieun dug his nails into the crushed velvet couch even further, hips unintentionally grinding upwards into the movement of Suho’s palm, chasing the sparks of pleasure as his cock swelled to full hardness embarrassingly fast. He could feel pre-cum rapidly staining the inside of the garment.

“Ah— fuck…” Sieun gasped, another needy sound slipping out before he could stop it.

Suho watched him intently, lips slightly parted, drinking in every desperate movement and sound spilling out from between Sieun’s lips.

As suddenly as he started, he stopped abruptly, withdrawing his hand from the heat of Sieun’s erection.

Sieun’s hips chased the lost contact, thrusting weakly into the empty air with a pathetic little twitch. A frustrated whine almost escaped him, but he swallowed it down, not wanting to come off as desperate.

The state that Sieun was now was a stark contrast from the well put together man that had entered the door earlier that morning. He was breathing hard, a light pink flush colouring his cheeks, hair slightly disheveled and messy. Sieun’s lips parted in mild bliss, and his thighs were still spread wide open. His fully hard cock strained obscenely against the now-tight fabric of his boxers, a wet spot on the material clearly visible to the naked eye.

In comparison to the other, Suho was somehow exactly the same as when Sieun had seen him earlier, looking completely unbothered by the events that had just transpired.

Suho leaned back slightly, voice low and curious.

“So… what got you this hard?” He tilted his head, studying Sieun’s body language. “What did you learn from this just now?”

Sieun’s mouth opened, but only a shaky breath came out. His cock still throbbed in his underwear, skewing his train of thought as he tried to form a sentence.

“I— I don’t… it’s-“

Suho’s voice dropped into something softer, coaxing him with his tone.

“Use your words, Sieun,” he murmured, eyes dark and patient. “Come on. Tell me what made you so desperate you were humping my hand like that.”

Sieun’s cock twitched at his words, the wet patch on his boxers spreading, pre cum leaking from his tip. At this rate, he didn’t ever think his erection was going to go down any time soon.

Sieun swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in his throat. He felt exposed and humiliated but unbearably turned on by this entire thing. His voice came out shy, breathless, barely above a whisper.

“I… I liked it when you teased me.”

Suho’s smile morphed into something more intense, growing deeper and darker. His eyes narrowed with interest.

“Is that so?” he said slowly, voice dropping by an octave. “You liked being teased?”

Sieun could only nod out of fear that if he spoke, he was going to let out something extremely embarrassing.

“But why…” Sieun’s voice came out hoarse as he spoke. He stared at Suho with hooded eyes, chest heaving. “Why did you stop?”

“That’s not what we agreed upon, Sieun.” Suho said, voice light and teasing like he was scolding a child for being impatient.

Sieun swallowed so thickly he was almost sure it was audible.

His cock was still painfully hard, twitching visibly against the tight fabric of his boxers. The ache in his pants was becoming unbearable.

He would die before saying it out loud, but he was so worked up that he wanted Suho’s hand back on him.

He wanted it so fucking badly that it was embarrassing.

His thighs trembled slightly as he fought with himself, pride and shame warring against raw need.

“I… I want—” The words stuck in his throat. He looked away, cheeks burning hotter. “Please.”

The last word was impossibly quiet that he wasn’t even sure if Suho heard. But he sneaked a look back and saw that he had heard. He had heard very well, in fact.

Otherwise he wouldn’t have had that look of dark satisfaction on his face as he watched Sieun squirm next to him.

Suho didn’t answer right away.

Instead, he leaned forward again and placed his hand back onto Sieun’s bulge, cupping him firmly, then resting over it, unmoving.

Sieun let out a loud gasp at the sudden contact. For a few seconds, he stayed frozen, not knowing what to do next.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Suho, the others eyes also locked directly on his.
Hesitantly, he moved his hips upward into the warm heat of Suho’s palm.

Suho didn’t move his hand. He just held it there, steady, letting Sieun do all the work.

They never broke eye contact.

A broken whimper slipped from Sieun’s lips as he rolled his hips upward again, this time even harder.

Then again,

And again.

Soon, he created a steady rhythm of his hips, shamelessly humping Suho’s still hand, chasing the friction with increasingly desperate movements.

Soft, needy gasps and whimpers kept falling from his mouth, his earlier objection to letting his pleasure being heard long forgotten.

“Ah— ha… mmh—”

Sieun was restless, the moans breaking halfway from his mouth.

He didn’t know what to do with his hands, first at his sides and free, then clenched into the couch. He placed his hand onto the source of his pleasure when it began to build into a peak. He grabbed onto Suho’s forearm to warn him of his impending orgasm, gripping tight as he ground harder against his palm.

Suho remained completely silent, watching him with dark, intense eyes and that faint, amused smirk playing on his lips. His gaze made Sieun’s stomach stir with a feeling that made him uncomfortable to name.

“I’m about to— fuck. I’m—” The words came out choked and broken, barely coherent between desperate whimpers.

“Su— Suho, please—” His grip on Suho’s arm tightened almost painfully.

Sieun let out a devastated, broken sound, breaking the eye contact by scrunching his eyes shut as his hips jerked forward. His cock twitched hard inside his boxers, and then he was cumming, pulsing visibly against the dark fabric. Wet heat spread across the front of his boxers in obvious, rhythmic pulses, the material clinging obscenely to his throbbing length as he rode out the orgasm with small, involuntary thrusts.

Right as he felt Sieun was cumming, Suho abruptly pulled his hand away.

Sieun’s head fell back against the couch, chest heaving, face flushed dark red, lips parted as he gasped for air.

Suho’s light expression dropped immediately as Sieun caught his breath. The light amusement in his eyes suddenly dissipated, a cold and hard stare emerging in its place. Sieun felt a chill run through his body at the sudden change in energy in the room even though his eyes were still unopened, no longer feeling Suho’s eyes on him.

He peeled his eyes open, seeing Suho stare into blankness, face void of emotion.

For the final time, the room stretched on and on into silence. Sieun began to speak, breaking the silence.

“Suho--“

“Jobs done. You should go.”

Suho interrupted him, emotionless.

He still didn’t look at Sieun as he said it.

Without another word, Suho stood up from the couch abruptly. He didn’t glance back, didn’t say anything else. Just turned and walked upstairs, his footsteps echoing through the quiet house until a door clicked shut somewhere above.

Sieun was left alone on the couch.
His jeans were still pushed down to his knees, thighs spread, and the front of his black boxers was warm and sticky, his orgasm cooling uncomfortably in his boxers against his skin.

The reality of what just happened began to sink in slowly, heavy and humiliating.

“Fuck…” Sieun whispered to himself, dragging his hand through his hair in frustration.

No alcohol, no drugs, no influence other than their own fucking words that lead them into this.

Sieun really had no excuse.