Chapter Text
“I’ve found it,” Sam Winchester exclaimed.
“Found what?” Dean answered although it was barely audible since he had his mouth full of pizza.”
“The book!” Sam's eyes were glued to the screen of his laptop.
“’Legends And truth of Magical Objects’ by Zora Vukota.”
“What do you want with that?”
“Don’t you see? There are many legends of magical objects like rings, amulets, necklaces and stuff. They say that some of them can provide you with eternal life, invulnerability and stuff like that. If we can find one of them maybe…
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe we can find a way out of your deal.”
“Come on, Sammy. It’s a long shot.”
“I know Dean, but if we are lucky…”
“I believe that when I see it, besides when have we ever been lucky?” Dean said.
“I don’t want to keep my hopes up either, but you can’t just give up.”
“I just have trouble seeing how a tiny little necklace or whatever could protect me from the demonic beast that is waiting were this road ends. Sam you’d better be careful because…”
“I know Dean. If you try to wriggle your self out of the deal I die. At least it is worth checking it out. I’ll be back soon. Pizza for breakfast, really?”
Sam turned off his laptop, took his jacket and the car key and a big slice of pizza from Dean.
“Not bad huh?” Dean smirked.
***************************************************************************
Ten minutes later Sam entered the bookstore. A young woman with pink hair, chewing gum just as pink, stood by the register.
“Hi, I’m looking for a book by Zora Vukota called ‘Legends and truth of magical objects’. I checked on the Internet, you are supposed to have some copies left.”
“Take a look in the fantasy section.” The girl said and blew a bubble.
“Um this is not a novel. It’s a documentary.”
“Whatever, it should be next to the Harry Potter and the Supernatural series.”
Sam went behind the shelves and started to read the titles of the books. ‘Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince’, ‘Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling’. No. Where the hell is it? ‘Supernatural – In my time of dying by JD Armstrong’. “What’s this?” Sam took down the book from the shelf and looked at the cover.
Those two guys almost look exactly like me and Dean, strange, Sam thought. He turned the book and started to read the back cover.
“Dean, you gotta hold on.” After the crash Dean’s spirit wanders the hospital corridors as his comatose body hovers at the brink of death. And a reaper tries to lure him into eternity.
No it can’t be, Sam thought. He started to feel dizzy. He grabbed another book.
‘Supernatural – Croatoan- by JD Armstrong’.
In a small Oregon town, Sam is infected by a supernatural virus, which sweeps friends and neighbors into a frenzy of violence.
“No…no. It’s us. I can’t believe it. I must be dreaming.” Sam started to hyperventilate and grabbed another book. ‘Supernatural – Hunted – by JD Armstrong’.
After Sam learns of his fathers warning, he splits from Dean and starts hunting for others with his gift – or curse – of psychic powers. And someone’s hunting for him: Gordon, the relentless vampire killer.
‘In my time of dying,’ and ‘Croatoan' fell out of Sam’s hands. He was about to faint. The whole room was spinning. Then, even ‘Hunted,’ fell out of Sam’s hands. He put his hands to his forehead tried to concentrate in not fainting. A minute later he felt better. When he removed his hands from his forehead he saw a very wrinkly face very close.
“Are you all right young man?” a very old lady said, and picked up the books and gave them to Sam. Sam thought she looked like 90. “You shouldn’t read this horror stuff. No wonder you look pale. Why don’t you buy this instead.” The old woman gave Sam a book. He read the title. ‘Old fashion home made cooking’ by Bree Shaw. There was a smiley face of a red headed woman with a flowery apron on the cover. Sam put it away immediately and grabbed every Supernatural book he could carry in his large hands.
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“’Scarecrow’, ‘Faith’, ‘Something Wicked’, ‘In My Time of Dying’, ‘Bloodlust’, ‘Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things’, ‘Crossroad Blues’, ‘Croatoan’, ‘Hunted’, ‘Playthings’, ‘What Is And What Should Never Be’ and ‘A Very Supernatural Christmas’.” The girl with the pink hair said between her chewing.
“Do you have more of this series,” Sam asked.
“You really are a fantasy lover aren’t you?”
“Just answer my damn question.” Sam raised his voice. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I just…”
“I understand,” the girl said. “This series is very addictive. It has a small group of very dedicated fans. More books are ordered. They will arrive in two weeks. 225 dollars please!”
“Today’s youth, look!” The old white-headed lady said to a friend of hers with just as white hair. “All they think of nowadays are horror, and vampire cheerleaders and stuff!”
***************************************************************************
A moment later Sam was sitting in the Impala. But he didn’t turn the ignition; instead he turned the plastic bag upside down and let the books fall out all over the passenger seat. He realized that everything in his and Dean’s life was in a public display. Everything what he had said, done and thought during the last two and a half years.
He started to feel the panic again. Please, don’t say that it has been written about that too. Sam grabbed ‘In My Time of Dying’ and turned the pages, looking for one special scene. Then he found it. He was sweating. He tried to get a grip of himself and his blood pressure dropped slightly. Then he started to read.
Sam was standing by his brother’s bed. Dean looked so pail. Seeing his brother lying in a coma in a hospital, fighting for his life seemed unreal.
“Dean, are you here. I couldn’t find anything in the book. I don’t know how to help you. But I’ll keep on trying, all right? As long as you keep fighting. Come on, you can’t… You can’t leave me alone with Dad. We’ll kill each other. You know that. Dean, you gotta hold on. You can’t go, man. Not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. Can you hear me?”
That’s it? Sam thought. There was not a sign in this chapter of what was really going in Sam’s head.
Sam remembered so well that his monologue in that scene didn’t end there. Because in that moment he thought that he was gonna loose Dean forever. In that moment Sam didn’t know how he could go on without Dean.
In that moment Sam realized that Dean was truly dying, and he was so upset because he never before had the guts to admit his true feelings for him, that the love he had for Dean went way beyond brotherly love.
Sam knew how this scene continued. Thinking of what he had said next was almost like watching a canceled scene from a DVD box.
“Dean, You have to come back to me, because I love you more than you will ever know. I have loved you forever and these feelings don’t go away. I know that the way I feel for you is perverted and sick. Brothers shouldn’t love each other like that. But it is the truth. I love you.
I should have told you long time before and now it is probably too late. You have to come back to me, please!”
Sam remembered those words so well; it truly was like that part of his monologue was a canceled scene that never made it to the final cut. He couldn’t find any indication in this chapter of his true feelings for Dean. Could this mean that this author has left out the not so brotherly and shameful secret feelings Sam has for his brother?
“Thank God,” Sam exclaimed.
Telling Dean that he loved him had been an enormous thing for Sam, even though Dean was in a coma at the time. Dean obviously didn’t remember a word of it since the issue had never been raised. And when Dean recovered, Sam lost his guts and tried to hide those feelings deep inside.
But then he remembered that there were other times when he almost had acted on those feelings. Times when he loved Dean so much that he wanted to hug him and kiss him and never let go. Like in that moment after the zombie hunt.
In what book could that be? Sam thought. He wasn’t out of the woods yet. He looked through the back covers of several books until he found ‘Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things’.
He easily found the last scene of that novel and he started to read.
The Winchester-brothers (Oh crap, even our last name is in public display, Sam thought.) were traveling through a very beautiful landscape. Dean had been very quiet ever since they left their mother’s grave. In the middle of the forest Dean turned over and parked the Impala at the side of the road. Without a word he went out of the car and leaned against the hood. Sam knew that something was tearing his brother apart. He had known that for weeks but now it was different. He followed Dean and stood beside Dean. Dean didn’t look at him. He didn’t show much of a face but Sam could see that his brother was very upset.
“Dean, what is it?” Sam felt urged to break the silence.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said. His eyes were blank. He obviously didn’t have long to tears.
“You…? For what?
“The way I’ve been acting. And for Dad. I mean he was your dad too. And it’s my fault he is gone,” Dean said without looking at Sam.
“What are you talking about?”
“I know you have been thinking it, so have I. Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, a full recovery. It was a miracle. And five minutes later Dad’s dead and the Colt’s gone.”
“Dean…”
“You can’t tell me there’s not a connection there. I don’t know how the demon was involved. I don’t know how the whole thing went down exactly…but Dad’s dead because of me. And that much I do know.”
“We don’t know that, not for sure,” Sam tried to comfort his brother.
“Sam…You and Dad. You’re the most important people in my life. And now…I never should’ve come back, Sam. It wasn’t natural. And now look what’s come out of it. I was dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well that’s it. So tell me. What can you possibly say to make that all right?”
Sam watched the tears falling from his brother’s eyes. He fought the tears himself. He was so relieved that his brother finally had opened up and he promised himself that he would help Dean through this, no matter what, as they stood in silence and looked out of the forest.
The End
Tears were falling from Sam’s eyes. He remembered this moment so clearly. He was very moved of what this JD Armstrong wrote, but in real life this scene was so much more overwhelming.
There was a canceled scene here too, Sam thought, Just as before, the scene ended while Sam was tempted to disclosure his true feelings for Dean.
In that moment he could feel Dean’s pain so clearly like if they were one person. In that moment he loved Dean so much that he wanted to kiss him right there, forever and never let go. It was true that he wanted to help him through his turmoil, but for Sam it was so much more than that. Before they had gone back into the car Sam had given Dean a hug. He wanted to do so much more, but that was not an option.
Sam had really been swept away reading this scene. It had awakened painful memories. Dean in deep pain was the worst thing he knew whether it was physical or emotional.
“Oh Dean, I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. I love you so much. If you ever knew how much I love you.” Sam said quiet to himself holding ‘Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things’ in his hand.
Sam didn’t know if he could bear to read anymore.
Their whole last year had been very painful for both of them. Sam had been completely distraught since he learned what John had told Dean before John died. He was led to believe that it was his fate to turn darkside and in the end Dean was supposed to kill him.
There were times he couldn’t bare the pain of longing for a relationship he could never have. Because it was no way that Dean felt the same way about Sam. Sam suddenly remembered how he had forced Dean to promise him to kill him if he turned evil.
Oh my God, I don’t see how that could not be in the book. Oh no. I’m screwed, Sam thought. Because he suddenly remembered that he had tried to kiss Dean in that moment.
Sam felt the panic again. He had to find that scene. And he had to do it now.
Then Sam’s cell phone rang. He picked it up.
“Damn it Dean, not now. He must wonder where I am.” Sam pushed the red button and rejected Dean’s call.
He would deal with Dean later, for now he had to find that ‘almost kiss-scene’ and he looked for the right book like his life depended on it.
Then he found the book ‘Playthings.’ He searched relentlessly through the pages. He had to know if the biggest secret of his life was in public display or not. Then he found the scene. He knew that it would be extremely painful reliving such a dark memory, but he had to know. He started to read again.
Dean entered their room. Sam was sitting in a chair. He didn’t realize that something with Sam was way off, he just opened his mouth as usual.
“There’s been another one. Some guy hung himself in his room.”
“Yeah, I saw,” Sam muttered quietly for himself with a very low voice.
“We’d gotta figure this out and fast. What’d you find out about Granny?” Dean said.
“You’re bossy.”
“What?” That was not the response he had expected from Sam.
“You’re bossy, and short,” Sam chuckled like a madman.
Then Dean realized.
“Are you drunk?”
“Yeah, So? Stupid.”
“Dude, what are you thinking. We’re working a case.”
Sam looked completely miserable. “That guy that hung himself. I couldn’t save him.”
“What are you talking about?” Dean said. “You didn’t know. You couldn’t have done anything.”
“That’s an excuse, Dean.” Sam sounded really upset. “I should have found a way to save him. I should’ve saved Ava too.”
“Well, you can’t save everyone. Even you said that.”
“No, Dean. You don’t understand, all right? The more people I save the more I can change.”
“Change what?”
“My destiny, Dean.”
Dean watched the tears running down his brother’s cheeks. He could never stand watching his brother cry.
“All right, time for bed. Come on, Sasquatch. Come on.”
Dean tried to help Sam to his feet.
“I need you to watch out for me,” Sam said.
“Yeah. I always do”
“No…no, no, no. You have to watch out for me, all right?” Sam said. “And if I ever turn into something that I’m not. You have to kill me.”
Dean felt a chill. He could do anything but that. He wished that he never had told him about this secret.
“Sam.”
“Dean, Dad told you to do it. You have to.”
“Well, Dad’s an ass. He never should’ve said anything. I mean you don’t do that. You don’t lay that kind of crap on your kids.”
“No. He was right to say it. Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not dying, okay. And neither are you. Come on, sit down.”
Dean forced Sam to sit down on the bed.
“No, please. You are the only one who can do it. Promise!”
“Don’t ask that of me.”
“Dean, please. You have to promise me.”
Dean felt pushed into a corner. He didn’t have any choice.
“I promise.”
“Thanks. Thank you.”
Sam grabbed Dean’s head, It felt weird and Dean took away Sam’s fingers. Sam was obviously very drunk. Sam lay down on the bed and turned around. He fell asleep immediately. Dean was watching him sleep and he prayed that Sam wouldn’t remember anything of what Dean had promised him.
Is that it? Oh Thank God. ‘Sam grabbed Dean’s head’ That was not what I did. I really tried to kiss him. Sam thought. I wonder why this JD Armstrong is keeping this secret. At least it would be safe showing Dean these books now. Dean! Holy crap. I should’ve been back hours ago. Damn I forgot the book I went to buy. Okay, back to the bookstore then.
Sam went back to the bookstore only to find out that the last copy of Zora Vukota’s book had been sold.
***************************************************************************
At last Sam entered the motel room. Dean was sitting at one of the beds.
“Sammy, where the hell have you been?”
“Dean…”
“You even rejected my phone call. What the hell was that about?”
Sam just stood in the doorway with a gaping mouth. It didn’t take long for Dean to realize that something was very wrong.
“Sammy, are you all right? You look a bit pail.” Dean said and rose to his feet.
“Dean…” was all Sam managed to say.
“You look like you have been diagnosed with a deadly disease. Talk to me. You’re scaring me.”
“You’d better sit down.”
“No, just tell me, all right.”
“Sit!”
Dean did what he was told and once again sat down on the bed. Sam turned the plastic bag upside down and poured out all the books in Dean’s lap.
“Did you find so many books about magical stuff?”
Dean picked up one of the books.
“’Supernatural – What Is And What Should Never Be’. What the hell is this?”
“You tell me,” Sam said and sat down in a chair.
Dean looked at the two guys on the cover with wide eyes.
“Is that us?”
Sam didn’t answer him.
Dean read on the backside.
“’A devoted girlfriend. A regular job. A loving mother in a house that didn’t burn down, A run-in with a djinn gives Dean the life he would have had’. Dean?…Is that me? No way!”
Dean felt the panic rise and grabbed *Croatoan* and read on that cover too.
“’Sam is infected by a’ …Holy crap! It’s us!”
“Yeah,” Sam said.
“Bu…how…what the…”
“My point exactly.”
“Oh no,” Dean said. He went through the books. Sam thought that his reaction was very similar to what he went through himself. Maybe Dean had secrets too. Sam kept studying Dean while he went through ‘Scarecrow’.
“Dean, what is it?”
“Be quiet, or just go for a walk… or…whatever.” Dean hardly noticed that Sam was there; he just had to find out. He had found the scene he was looking for and started to read.
“So a god possesses the scarecrow,” Sam asked with his phone in his hand looking out of the waiting lounge in the small bus station.
“And the scarecrow takes its sacrifice. And for another year, the crops won’t wilt and disease won’t spread.” Dean said holding his cell phone in one hand and the steering wheel of the Impala with the other.
“Do you know what god you’re dealing with?” Sam asked.
“Nope, not yet.”
“If you figure out what it is, you can figure out a way to kill it.”
“I know,” Dean said. “I’m actually on my way to a local community college. I got an appointment with a professor. You know, since I don’t have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research.”
Sam couldn’t help from smiling. All the frustration he had felt because of Dean earlier had vanished.
“You know, if you are hinting you need my help, just ask,” Sam said.
“I’m not hinting anything. Actually…I want you to know…”
Oh my God, there it is. Wait! There is nothing there, Dean thought.
Dean kept on reading.
“I mean don’t think…”Dean said. He had always trouble telling his brother how much he appreciated having him along for the ride.
That was far away from the truth. This author doesn’t seem to have access to these perverted thoughts and desire that is floating in my mind. Or at least he isn’t writing about it. I think. Oh Thank God for that, Dean thought.
“Dean what are you reading? What is so important?” Sam asked.
“Shut up, I’m reading,” Dean said without even looking up from the page.
“Yeah, I’m sorry too,” Sam said.
“Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your life,” Dean said.
“You serious?”
“You’ve always known what you want, and you go after it. You stand up to Dad, and you always have. Hell I wish I…anyway, I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.”
Sam realized that he had the best big brother ever.
“I don’t even know what to say,” he said.
“Say, you’ll take care of yourself.”
“I will,” Sam said.
“Call me when you find Dad.”
“Okay. Bye, Dean.”
Sam hung up and gazed at Meg and he was glad having her company for the time being, waiting for the bus. But in this moment he missed Dean so very much.
Dean exhaled.
“Thank, God,” he exclaimed.”
“Thank, God what?” Sam asked.
“None of your business.”
“Are you keeping secrets from me.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about. My life is an open book.”
“Well. It is now.”
“Damn,” Dean said. “Where is that Croatoan-novel.”
It was true that Dean had secrets from Sam. During the last 3 years he had thought of telling Sam that big secret. He had intended to when he first picked Sam up at Stanford, but he had been thrown completely off guard when he saw that pretty girlfriend of Sam’s.
And since they started their road trip there were times when he almost had told Sam that he loved him in a not so brotherly way and that he desired him like crazy. Hell, he wanted to fuck him, but every time he had come to the conclusion of telling Sam he was convinced that it would make Sam run away screaming. And he couldn’t bare loosing Sam.
When they thought that that demonic virus in Rivergrove had infected Sam, Dean was seconds from telling Sam that he loved him. And now he was terrified that, that incident was told in the novel. It would be the end for both of them. But Dean didn’t know that Sam was fighting the exact same feelings.
Dean turned the pages very quickly for finding that particular scene. Then he found it. He read while his heart was pounding in his chest. Sam thought that whatever it was Dean was looking for in ‘Croatoan’ he feared that it would give his brother a heart attack. He looked very pail.
“Dean I’m sick. It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be for you.”
“No?”
“No, you could keep on going,” Sam said.
“Who says I want to?” Dean answered.
“What?”
“I’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job, this life. This weight on my shoulders. Man, I’m tired of it.”
“So, what? So, you’re just gonna give up? I mean you’re just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know the stuff with Dad had…”
“You’re wrong. It’s not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure…”
“Then what is it about?”
“I love you, Sammy,” is what he was supposed to say, but he'd heard footsteps and never managed to say it. And there was nothing of that in this book. Dean relaxed and exhaled, and the color was getting back on his cheeks.
Dean let his head fall down on the pillow, and he breathed very calmly. A moment later he noticed his brothers penetrating gaze.
“Okay, fine. Yes I have secrets. Are you satisfied? And quit staring at me, it gives me the creeps.”
“What kind of secrets?”
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be secrets, would it?”
“Spill!”
“No, you are my brother and the closest person of my life, but there are some things I keep to my self.”
“Like what?”
“I’m not that gullible. What do you want to do? Do you want to play a game of truth or dare then I will make you spill your darkest deepest secrets too. I’ll do that myself if you are ready to do it too.”
“This is a stupid conversation. Let’s drop it.”
Dean had a smug grin on his face. Sometimes he almost felt sorry for the kid how easy he was to manipulate, but this had been a close call. No matter what happened in the future he never ever wanted to have that incestuous gay issue raised again. And he was convinced that no one would ever come up with the idea to bring it up.
“But there is still one major question I’d like an answer to,” Sam said. “How come that this JD Armstrong knows every detail of our lives.” Almost every detail, Sam and Dean thought simultaneously.
“Yeah, that’s a good question,” Dean said. “We should get on this case.”
“Dean, we already have a case.”
“What case?”
“Yours. You have only four months left.”
“Yeah, well, you bet on a dead horse on that one.”
“Dean, don’t say that, you sound like you don’t deserve to be saved.”
“Sam, I don’t want to do this again. I am well aware of the horrible death that is waiting for me and I wished that we could stop it, but I’d rather do this case for now instead. I need to think of something else. At least this could be fun.”
“Fun? Every little detail in our lives is mentioned in those books. I feel like this author is having a surveillance camera inside my head 24 hours a day.”
“Hey, we are famous. It’s kind of fun.”
“Infamous is more like it,” Sam said.
“Come on you are just as curious as I am, Sammy. Admit it. You are dying to know.”
“Well…yes…of course.”
“See, told you so.” Dean laughed. “And admit it. It’s a little bit fun.”
“Well…yeah. Okay, Dean, let’s do it. Where do we start.”
“By reading,” Dean said. “I’d like to find out if this Dean character will be sacrificed to the nightmarish scarecrow.”
“Dean you already know the answer to that.”
“Sam, saying something like that is like telling someone the football score. Now, put a sock in it and grab a book.”
“All right. Hand me ‘Crossroad Blues’.”
They spend the entire afternoon reading. They were so absorbed in the stories that they almost didn’t remember eating. While reading they now and then commented on what they read.
Dean was very absorbed in reading ‘Faith.’ “Hey listen to this: Dean said.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam said.
“I checked my self out.”
“Are you crazy?”
“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”
“Come on, I don’t talk like that.” Dean said and closed the book and picked up ‘Playthings’ instead.
“Yes, you do,” Sam said. “Just listen to this.” And Sam quoted from ‘Crossroad Blues’.
“Maybe his place is full of babes in Princess Leia bikinis,” Dean smirked.
“I don’t say sexistic things like that…well, maybe I do…sometimes.”
“Yeah you do, all the time.”
“But I don’t mean anything by it. Besides you don’t get away that easy. Listen to this, Sammy.” And Dean quoted from ‘Playthings’.
The Winchester-brothers were knocking on the door that said ‘Private’. It didn’t take long until Susan opened. She looked very surprised seeing her new handsome guests standing in the doorway.
“Hey there,” Dean said with a charming smile on his face.
“Hi. Everything okay with your room? Susan asked.
“Yeah,” they both said, nodding like crazy trying to appear casual.
“Yeah, everything’s great,” Sam said.
“Good.”
“Yeah,” Sam said smiling while Dean very casually tried to peak inside.
“Well, I was just in the middle of packing, so…” Susan said. She looked suspicious.
Dean very quickly had to find away for them to get into her quarters. Then he saw the dolls.
“Hey, are those antique dolls? Because this one…” he said and looked at his brother. Sam expected the worst.
“This one here, he is…He’s got a major doll collection back home. Don’t you? Huh?” Sam looked at Dean with a face that said ‘I’m gonna kick your ass for this’.
“Big time!” Sam said with clenched teeth.
“Big time, yeah,” Dean said smiling. “You think he could come…well, we could come in and take a look?”
“I don’t know.” Susan sounded very skeptical.
“Please,” Dean said. “He loves them. He’s not gonna tell you this but he is…He’s always dressing them up in some little tiny outfits. And you’d make his day. She would, huh? Huh?”
Sam looked at Dean with a face that said ‘I’m gonna kill you.’
“It’s true,” Sam said.
“Okay, come on in.”
“All right. All right,” Dean said patting Sam at his back.
Sam had a look on his face that said: ‘You are so dead.’
Dean was laughing so hard that he didn’t know if he could ever quit.
“That was not funny,” a grumpy Sam said.
“Are you kidding, that was hilarious.” Dean couldn’t stop laughing. Sam lay ‘Crossroad Blues’ aside, rose from his bed and turned on the laptop and sat down in the chair.
“Yeah, well. Now you have made a fool out of me for the entire world to see.”
“At least admit that it was a little funny.”
“If we ever find this JD Armstrong, I’m so gonna kick his ass,” Sam said and started to search the Internet while Dean kept on reading.
Ten minutes later Sam opened his mouth.
“The whole Internet is full with stuff about us. We have thousands of fans. Most teenage girls I think. I don’t believe it.”
“Really?” Dean asked. Taking his eyes from his book.
“There are Sam-girls and Dean-girls and there are debate-forums as well. Listen to what this girl is saying.”
“’Bad day at Black Rock’ was a really ridiculous novel. These things could never happen, and Dean was such a pussy in that story. What a terrible story line. But that Bela girl was pretty cool.”
“Hey, that was not a story line. That was our lives. Stupid bitch!” Dean said and was by the computer in no time.
“Hey what are you doing?” Sam asked while Dean was typing on the laptop.
“I’m writing a comment.” “I can assure you, you stupid bitch that this was not a story line. It actually happened.” He was even tempted to write about what he really thought of Bela, since she was mentioned, but he couldn’t do that without using a really nasty language.
“You posted that?” Sam asked. “Dean, these people think that this is fiction.”
“Oh, I didn’t thought of that.”
Dean went back to his novel while Sam continued searching the web.
“I have found something else here,” Sam said. There are enormous sites with fan-fiction stories about us. This one seems to be the largest. ‘Sinful Desire’.”
“’Sinful Desire’? Sounds like a porn site. How can that be about us?”
Sam was reading loud.
“This is a fan fiction archive for slash stories (i.e. stories with homoerotic content) written about Sam and Dean Winchester from the Supernatural novels.”
“Wh…homoerotic?…” Dean could almost not get out a word.
Sam was blushing in a way he had never blushed before.
Sam kept reading.
“Warning. Most fic in this archive contain brotherly incest. If you don’t like the idea of slashing the Winchester brothers (Wincest), please go somewhere else.”
“I have a major problem with that,” Dean said. “Why haven’t we been asked? And what the hell is Wincest? Oh no. Winchester + Incest = Wincest. Oh my God. The two of us are having sex on the Internet?”
“Yeah,” Sam said feeling his cock stiffens more and more each second.
Dean was already rock hard. He was glad that he was lying on the bed, because he knew that he would faint otherwise. His perverted feelings for his brother were now public knowledge.
“Dean are you all right?”
“No.” Then Dean remembered that it was all guesswork and fiction. Obviously Sam believed that too and that thought made him calm down.
“Oh my God. This is huge,” Sam said. He was surprised that he could keep his voice so steady. He was scared to death that his shaky voice would make Dean realize that there was no smoke without fire.
“There are 2520 stories on this site. 343 authors and 1897 members. And it gets worse.”
“How can it be worse?” Dean asked.
“Because this is not the only site with Wincest. There is also ‘The Sam/Dean slash archive’. And when I google ‘Wincest’ I get 109,000 hits. The word is even in the dictionary. Listen to this: ‘Wincest = Brotherly love of sexual nature between Dean and Sam Winchester of the Supernatural-novels by JD Armstrong.’ And you also have a slash-site of your own ‘Slashing Dean’.”
“What?”
“Listen to this.” Sam kept on reading.
“Welcome to the world of Dean Winchester slash were Dean is the center of all that is slash”.
“No way. Let me see.”
Dean was by the computer by a second.
“Look! It looks like the whole world is desiring me.”
You’ve got that right. Even me. What if you knew…? Sam thought.
Dean started to read one of the stories. Sam moved over to the bed. He was afraid that he would faint in any second now. Dean started to read loud.
“He put his rock hard cock against Dean’s entrance, and started pushing in gently, bit by bit. Dean opened for him. Dean groaned at the perfection of feeling his brother inside him for the first time.
Dean gasped when Sam sank in all the way. The sensation was amazing for both of them.”
Sam was lying on the bed listening to Dean’s voice reading the sexiest thing Sam had ever heard. He started to pant. Obviously Dean was too concentrated in what he was reading for noticing.
“Dude, we are having hardcore sex!” Dean yelled. “Listen to this.” Dean kept on reading.
“Sam couldn’t believe he was doing it. He had wanted this for so long. And now his cock was deep inside his brother’s ass. He could feel how Dean clenched around it, like he couldn’t, wouldn’t let go. Sam started moving, and he knew what heaven was. Dean could feel Sam’s cock inside him, moving in and out.”
Hearing these words from his brother’s mouth was almost like actually doing it and Sam came right there in his underwear. And he prayed to God that Dean hadn’t noticed. He rose from the bed and ran into the bathroom.
“Are you okay? Are you having the runs?” Dean asked with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah,” Sam lied.
Dean kept on reading while he heard the shower in the bathroom.
Sam came out ten minutes later fully dressed. After hearing this he couldn’t look at his brother without getting a hard-on. Dean had turned off the laptop.
“Are you okay?” Dean asked.
“No,” Sam answered.
“I mean about your stomach.”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Sam, I know what you are thinking.”
No, you don’t have a clue, Sam thought.
“We are the hottest guys alive. Not bad huh? Besides, it is only fiction,” Dean said. In the same moment he said it he knew that it was far from the truth.
“Besides, Sammy. Don’t you think this is a little bit sexy after all?”
Sam just stared at him.
“Don’t answer that,” Dean said when he realized what he had just said.
“I’ll go for a walk,” Sam said and left the motel room.
Dean was harder than he had ever been before. He was so close to coming in his pants while he read that sexy story about him and his brother having hardcore sex, as he put it. He felt a relief that Sam left the room. Dean ran to the bathroom. He got undressed very quickly. And finally he was standing in the hot spray touching his bone hard cock. He could feel what it actually would feel like feeling Sam’s enormous cock deep inside him, and the thought of that made him come. The orgasm was so strong that he almost lost his balance.
***************************************************************************
An hour later Sam returned from his walk. He felt much better, much calmer. He had a bag of take out in his hand.
“What’s that? Egg-roles?” Dean asked. He felt much more relaxed too.
“Yeah, we need variation in the diet,” Sam said and grabbed a couple of plates. Dean took a bite. “Not bad!”
***************************************************************************
After dinner the Winchester-brothers relaxed and watched a movie. Neither one of them mentioned the word Wincest. And everything felt almost like normal between them again despite all the life turning events of the day. Still it wasn’t completely normal. The signs of that were extra clear when they got undressed and went to bed. They had seen each other naked thousands of times, which usually wasn’t without complications, but they were also very good at hiding their arousal states from the other. But now it was really a bitch, as Dean would put it.
Finally they were lying under the covers.
“Hey, I was doing some research while you were on your walk,” Dean said.
“Research, you?” Sam asked surprised.
“I have a brain, and a couple of hands, you know.”
“What did you find out?”
“JD Armstrong is a pseudonym. She is a woman.”
“What’s her real name?”
“Don’t know. She is very shy and secretive, and no one seems to know who she is. The only thing I have found out about her is that she lives in New York City.”
“Huh!”
“But I have found the publishing company ‘Benson’s house of publishing’, as well as the legal responsible publisher for the Supernatural novels. Her name is Abigail Benson. The firm is in New York too. We are going to the big apple. We’ll leave the first thing tomorrow morning,” Dean said.