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Blade can't figure out what he wants. One day he's just sitting in bed, staring into nothing, not thinking of anything. Other days he'd be casually texting and calling his boyfriend, Danheng, asking the other how his days went.
Life has been constant, with nothing to give and nothing have. Life just hasn't been the same since his boyfriend moved abroad for his work. He'll be back in Blade's arms in 2 months. Still, Blade really can't figure out what he wants.
A ring of his phone startled him, waking him up from his trance as he turned around to see his phone vibrating, screen lighting up to show the caller's name. Blade didn't feel like answering, but he had to.
"Kafka"
"Bladie, did i wake you up?"
"No."
"Well that's good. Elio told me to check in on you, just in case"
"I'm alright. Nothing to worry about"
"If you say so. How's Silver Wolf?"
"I haven't heard anything from her room, so she must still be sleeping. She seems to be up pretty late last night"
"Hmm okay. If you need anything, just call me"
"Yeah"
"Also Blade, don't do anything i wouldn't do"
Blade could only reply with a slight "hmm" before ending the call. Taking a deep breath, Blade closed his eyes and let all that feeling of dread out of his chest. Blade moved to the side of the bed and took out a box of aid kits that he store under his bed. It had became an everyday routine for him since he moved back to this apartment; waking up, change his worned out bandages, cooking breakfast and go out for a morning run to freshen up his mind.
Dressing up his bandage had gotten a lot harder. Before meeting Danheng, it was either Kafka, Firefly, or sometimes silver Wolf who helps him. He definitely could do it alone, but sometimes it was hard to as it would loosely hanging on his arm and become undone before afternoon comes. When he started dating and living with Danheng, he'd wake up with it freshly changed. He would wake up and see his love in the kitchen making breakfast for both of them, even though Blade had insisted that he should do the cooking. Danheng just has... very questionable skills when it comes to cooking. That was what makes his life so interesting.
Of course, living back with his friends didn't mean boring. There was just a clear difference when it was with Danheng. He just misses him a lot more and wished Danheng could come back earlier. He could stay back in Danheng's apartment to take care of it, but it was Danheng who decided against it, saying that he didn't want Blade to be alone while he was away, especially not with his condition. Blade understood his worries, everyone else's worries in fact. He really wasn't supposed to be alone.
By going back to the apartment he has shared with his friends, he'd have a bigger responsibilities. Thefore, Blade stood up after finished dressing his wounds, grab a tee he had lying on the back rest of his chair, wear it, then head for the kitchen. He grabbed what he needed from the cabinet before starting his morning experiment: cooking breakfast.
It was still eight in the morning, so it is unlikely for Silver Wolf to be up and about. Usually when he was done cooking, he'd devide it to plates and place it in the fridge for the others to quickly heat up and eat. When he was living with Danheng and the other was on bed rest either because he was sick or too worned out from the night before, Blade would have it all ready by the time he woke up. But living with Silver Wolf is rather tricky. Sometimes the food he had cooked was left untouched for the whole day and Blade would eat it himself. It's not that his food was bad, or people would have lied to him about it being good. Silver Wolf is just being Silver Wolf.
Still, Blade would just be worried about her not eating and gaming the whole day, so he had to set reminders for her. Once he was done garnishing the congee with some spring onions, he was about to cover the bowl with cling wrappers when the sound of Silver Wolf's door opened. She let out a huge yawn, stretching her arms up, then walk towards Blade who looked at her weirdly.
"What? The smell of congee woke me up" she snatched the plastic roll from Blade's hand and but it back in the box and placing it into the top shelves where it belong, tip toeing a little. She then went back to the dining table and Blade was still standing awkwardly, looking at her as if she had grown an extra head. "Bladie, come on, is it that weird of me to be up this early? I'm just hungry and happened to smell the pork congee you're making"
"Did you get enough sleep...?" Was all Blade could muster.
The younger could only role her eyes and took out a spoon from the drawer that Blade had neatly placed on the counter next to the dining table, pulled out the dining chair and sit "Uhmm yeah? Why? I know you heard me gaming late last night but i promise you, i did get enough sleep. Now, are you just gonna stand there or go for your morning run? It's gonna rain soon"
"Oh yeah. Good that you did sleep well. I'll head out then. There's more in the fridge if you want. I'll get going then" Blade spoke almost like a robot and Silver Wolf could only shake her head at his friend's dad behavior. She continued to slowly eat her food before realising the loosely wrapped bandage on Blade arm. She put her spoon down and walk towards Blade who was taking out his running shoes and cross her arms.
"Aish look at you!" She voiced out, catching Blade's attention who once again, looked at her confused. She stepped forward and pulled the bandage, easily undoing it. "I wonder how Danheng deal with you every morning. He better come back soon and take you back to his apartment and do this for you" she then quickly tie the bandage back onto his arms, pulling it hard to make sure it won't fall off so easily. "There. Next time, wake me up if you need someone to dress it for you" she grumbled before going back to the half empty bowl.
Blade froze for a while, processing the events that had just passed, then continued to put on his shoes. He often wondered if he was troublesome for the others, yet they had always gave him some reassurance that he could always ask for their help. Once he was done, he let Silver Wolf know that he's walking out. Blade head out and before he closed the door behind him, he could hear Silver Wolf humming in acknowledgment and the sound of the fridge door opening.
-
"Danheng, can you help me with this one?" Danheng really wanted to say no. He had been repetitively explain how to view data from the same software to this middle aged client since the day his team had landed in Penacony. He understood that old people are rather hard to talk to, especially when it comes to electronics. But if this old man can easily scroll though furbotok and laughing so loudly in every important meeting, he could definitely easily look at this file, right? Wrong. Danheng made a mental note to just print out these data for easy viewing before they all head back. Holding himself back from sighing loudly and being impolite, Danheng only walked towards the old man and once again, slowly showed him how to zoom in and out of the software to view the data that Danheng had carefully and neatly organized.
"Ohh so that's how. You should have told me sooner!" Danheng really wanted to throw that desktop accross the room.
"Yes. So this is where your company, sir, is at it's peak sales. Stelle has explained to you the reason, has she?" Danheng asked, pointing at the screen while looking at Stelle who glared at him from accross the room.
"Who is Stelle?" The old man asked and Danheng could see the red in Stelle's eyes, her lips pressed into a thin line as she decide whether she wants to risk her job or be a good girl and save the Astral Express's reputation. Danheng hoped it's the second.
When afternoon break comes, Danheng could only eat in silence, looking at his phone, specifically at the messages that he sent to Blade this morning. There were no replies at all unlike usual, so Danheng had only thought that Blade slept longer than usual. Still, he was worried. The voice of Stelle angrily yapping about how annoyed she was with their current client took Danheng's mind away. Sunday was trying to calm her down while march was softly patting her girlfriend's shoulder.
"I swear to god, if that old man ask one more time 'who is stelle?'" She mimicked the old man, "I'm so telling Himeko that this project is done and we're quiting!" The other three worries that people would kick them out if Stelle continues her outburst.
"Okay, okay. Stelle, be a cute girl and breath in, then breathe out, okay?" March tried to calm her down as Stelle does as she was instructed.
"I can't wait to go home..." Stelle whined this time, resting her chin on the table like a racoon who was tired from digging through trash and found nothing.
"Yeah" the other 3 simultaneously agreed. Just in 5 days, if that old man can finally figure out how the project works, they'll be at the airport and back to Planarcadia. They all continued eating while chatting either about work or sightseeing, when Danheng's phone began vibrating. Taking his phone, Danheng excused himself and walked away.
"Blade?"
"Danheng..." that voice wasn't Blade's, it was a woman's voice.
"Kafka? Where's Blade... what happened to him?" He felt his stomach had dropped. Still, he didn't want to think of the worst.
"He's alright. He's just... Danheng, will you come back any time soon?" Her voice was filled with uncertainty.
"In 5 days, yes" yet, he was unsure. Their current client was rather annoying and they might need to extend their stay for 2 more days.
"Okay. Just want to make sure that you are. As for Bladie... well he injured himself again and is currently at the hospital. Silver Wolf told me that he hadn't come back home last night, so we decided to go to his old workshop and found him lying on the floor, his hand is heavily injured with fractures. It'll take him a lot longer to heal." after Kafka explained the whole situation to Danheng, he was felt a mixed feelings of anger, frustration and sadness overwhelming him. Had his client not been so annoying, he would've come home and prevent Blade from hunrting himself. Yet, he also felt immense anger towards Blade for not heeding the doctor's advice and refrain from going back to his old workshop. Danheng had reminded him more than plenty of times too.
The overworked employee really didn't know how to respond, but one thing for sure "he's getting an earful from me once i get back!"
"For sure. I'll relay the message. But for now, he shouldn't be moving his hands at all, so he wont be able to text you. Firely, Silver Wolf and i will be the one relaying every message to you"
"Okay... please help me take care of him and tell him to focus on healing" once they bid their goodbyes, Danheng ended the call and went back to the others who had finished their lunch.
4 days had passed and Danheng wasn't really seeing any progress when it comes to their annoying client. Stelle seem to lose all hope for this project, March had been trying to stay positive but the annoyance was evident in her voice, while Sunday had been very silent since the night before, a sign that he's had enough but tried to keep his cool.
Danheng? He just wanted to go home like the rest of the group. He had received updates regarding Blade from Kafka, Silver Wolf, and Firefly 2 days ago. When Kafka had told him that Blade had woken up, he'd instantly hit the video call button without thinking.
"I've told you numerous times, Blade!" But Blade kept silent, Danheng wished he hadn't yelled when Blade looked like a kicked puppy, staring down at his bandaged hands. The younger of the two could only sigh and inform the other of his return in 3 days, and thankfully, it seems like that was all the reassurance Blade needed as the man let out a soft chuckle.
"Get home safe so that i could return to your arms" Danheng could hear Silver Wolf fake gagging in the background at Blade's corny remarks, but just with those words, Danheng could feel all his fatigue washed away. Maybe all he needed from this stressful project was to be back in Blade's arms. He missed it, after being apart for months now.
"I will. Wait for me and please don't do anything stupid"
"Not that i could with my hands like this, baby"
"Yeah? And whose fault was it?"
Blade only let out a chuckle and they proceed to talk about their day, occasionally speaking to the girls visiting Blade's ward, and bidding their goodbyes as Danheng needed to get back to work.
~
Blade looked at his damaged hands. He didn't take into account on how he could have injured himself in the workshop.
It was another boring day for him, where he had spent the day with his routine: cooking breakfast and lunch for both himself and Silver Wolf, go out for his morning jog, and came back to change his bandage and rest. He was getting really sick of not being able to do anything. Of course he'd get occasional odd jobs assigned by Kafka, like delivering goods or babysitting the cats in firefly's petshop. He does enjoy doing it to pass time.
He loves poking fun at that lazy fat cat Sesame whom Danheng once pointed out that he look a lot like him, to which Blade disagrees. He's not fat, no offense, and he's definitely not as hot headed as Sesame (he is). The only qualities that they share is how obsessed they are about Danheng, and Sesame is only ever been kind to Danheng and would definitely attack Blade when he's close to Danheng. How annoying. There was another cat which Blade finds to have so much resemblance to Danheng. From its cute and quiet demeanor to the fearless and elegant side which Blade always falls for. These cats are quite the opposite it terms of everything, just like Danheng and himself.
Yet, he has none of those activities today, and besides boredom, Blade misses crafting. He had not picked up any tool since the accident that broke his hand. It wasn't a permanent damage, but he's always so shaky. It was a surprise how he could still cook so well despite the tremors on his hands. Other than cooking, he'd hardly ever done anything else that requires precision, which is crafting.
It had been years since, and although his hands were still defective, he tried to pick his hobby back up and start again, with something as small as playing with brick toys. He had also recently bought mechatron building kits which he had been so excited to start, but was then left unattended once he tried to glue the pieces together which only resulted in damaging both parts as he had accidentally attached it on the wrong area with his shaky hands. It's frustrating.
But big wooden planks are different from small plastic parts right? There was a blueprint stored deep in his shelf which he had been itching to finish since before the accident. Maybe he could bring it to live and present it to Danheng once he come home. He still have the keys to his workshop even though it was rented to the students of Graphia Academy since he was not ablt to use it anymore. Nodding to himself, he fished out the blue print, grab his keys and his coat before heading out.
"If i come home later than dinner, food is in the fridge" he messaged Silver Wolf.
"Hmm" was her only reply.
When Blade reached the workshop, it was just a little after the students have finished their session. There were sculptures neatly displayed on the side of the room. Some were old, proudly made by himself, but some were new which he had not seen before. They were likely made by the talented students.
Blade's chest swelled. He was a little jealous of how young people nowadays could do so much better than him, but he was impressed. Such skilled crafts can only be obtained by years of hardwork, years which Blade could no longer put to use. Still, he wanted to go back to those years, and that determination was all the motivation he needed to finish the blueprint he carried with him. Yet no matter how much he wants to be acknowledged again, it's impossible. He wouldn't be able to meet the standards anymore and it pained him, angered him, caused him to blame himself for the fact that he felt jealous for others who did so much better than him. Everyone could do it, why can't he?
~
The moment the train had reached Planarcadia, Danheng had shaked off his fatigue from the long travel and visited Blade in the hospital just like he discussed the others. Stelle had insisted to drop his luggage at his place while he visits Blade. They'll be occupying his apartment and help him clean up while he's away.
Once he reached Blade's ward, the older man was sleeping and Silver Wolf who was sitting next to Blade's bed looked up from the game on her phone to greet the newcomer. "Oh Danheng, did you just arrive? Bladie just fell asleep after lunch" She gestured to Blade with a slight shrug of her shoulder.
"Hey Silver Wolf. That's alright. Have you eaten your lunch?" Danheng raised a few paperbags he carried in his hand. He had taken a few minutes to grab some lunch for himself and the others on his way.
"Nope. I was about to tell Kafka to buy me some since she's also coming. Why didn't you tell us that you'll be visiting right after your arrival?" She accepted the bag that Danheng handed to her.
"I was going to, but my phone died on me. I did tell Stelle to message Kafka or you though... did she messaged you...?"
Silver Wolf only shook her head.
"Anyway, since you haven't had your lunch, that is for you. I bought some for Kafka and Firefly as well" Danheng took a seat at the foot of Blade's bed.
"Oh! Thanks. I'll let Kafka know to not buy anything then" she went back to typing on her phone, before opening the food container for herself.
"How has he been doing" Danheng reached for Blade's bandaged hand.
"The fracture was pretty bad, and because it was left untreated overnight, some of the cuts on his hand was infected... and he got a fever from it. But the doctor said that he could go home tomorrow if his fever stops, his temperature was fine this morning but it raised a little again just now" the girl explained, staring at her phone as she digs onto her food.
"Hmm..." Danheng only nod in acknowledgment, eyes locked onto Blade's peacefully sleeping face that he misses so much. "Idiot" he whispered, frowning as he caress Blade's hand, the rough texture of the bandge feeling very familiar under his fingertips.
"I dont know if i should tell you this" Silver Wolf started, putting her phone down and looking at Danheng, "but... Blade's insomnia has gotten worse when you left. I'm mostly still up at night gaming but sometimes i'd hear him pace around his room. He used to do that a lot before dating and moving in with you, and he told us that his conditions had gotten better when he lived with you?"
Danheng nod, he knew of Blade's sleeping habits before they dated, and Blade had never left his side at night when they live together.
"Yea. And well... we all know how emotionally unstable Blade is but if it's not too much to ask, please never leave him again and bear with him. You mean so much to him, Danheng, and it hurts me as his friend to see him like this..." and it was rare to see Silver Wolf break character. The girl is so much more emotional than she normally appears, especially when it comes to her friends who had become quite a family for her.
Danheng didnt know what to say, so he only looked solemnly at Blade's hands. He really did not think the project would take so long that he'd be away from Blade from months. He understood how Blade feel about his talent and inability to craft again, and it pained him so much. He couldn't imagine how far worse Blade felt about it, about himself. Danheng wished he could help, but he could only watch him from the sideline and be there for Blade, and yet, he still failed to do so.
"I'm sorry" both Silver Wolf and Danheng coincidentally said at the same time, to which they both let out a small chuckle.
"I know you won't leave Blade, but you should also take it easy" the young girl said before going back to her lunch.
"Of course" the bandaged hand in his arm tightened his hold on Danheng's smaller one.
Danheng wished Blade would love himself as much as Danheng loved Blade.