Work Text:
i’ve been having a hard time adjusting
had the shinest of wheels now they’re rusting
Peter sat in the empty train compartment fidgeting every few seconds. He has always had a terrible habit of biting his fingernails when he’s nervous, and he can’t help it now, though they are already bitten down to the quick. He is going into his sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, and he is freaking out. If precedent is anything to go by, sixth year is going to be very very bad. Fifth year had proven to be… well, a disaster would be putting it lightly. Peter’s friendgroup, more commonly referred to as The Marauders (or nightmares and hellions if your name was Minerva McGonagall) had entirely exploded. Though none of them knew it, Peter was at the very heart, the bleeding center, of the entire fiasco. Sirius Black had almost gotten their sworn enemy Severus Snape murdered by their mostly friend and sometimes werewolf, Remus Lupin. The only reason Sirius’ plan hadn’t played out exactly as he intended, was because of his very best friend James Potter who rescued Snape. After, everything occured. Remus and Sirius hadn’t been on speaking terms, and neither were James or Sirius. It appeared that there were no winners in the situation, but Peter would argue that he won.
You see, Peter had known James first, had considered them practically brothers. They had grown up together, Peter’s very first baby picture depicted him and a grinning James right next to him. As it should be. As it ought to have been. Then, they arrived at Hogwarts and everything shifted. Everyone did consider James brothers with someone, only it wasn’t Peter. It was Sirius Black. And, whether James noticed it or not, Peter had been pushed to the sidelines. However, it wasn’t entirely miserable, because Remus, their fourth member, kept Peter company, defended him, and helped him. He was his ally, Peter had pushed all feelings of rejection away because Remus had been right by his side, another lost pup that James and Sirius toted around, but not a full fledged member.
Then, Peter noticed a strange spark between Sirius and Remus, something had changed. The world had shifted on its very axis and left Peter behind and very alone. Now there were triplets and Peter. So, when Sirius pitched the idea of sacrificing Snape to the jaws of Remus, Peter had not been blinded by emotions as Sirius had been, he had known exactly how it would end, and he had encouraged it. James getting involved wasn’t planned, but was a small mercy, because there was no more brotherhood. Only broken promises and broken hearts. Peter had felt guilty, but the newfound attention from James had made it all worth it. It was James and Peter again, how it was meant to be.
Alas, it had not lasted for long. Sirius had shown up on James’ doorstep halfway through summer, shaking, wet, and bleeding. And James, whose weakness was seeing others in distress, who could’ve fixed the bond between Cain and Abel, took him in, and their relationship was restored, and renewed. Once Remus got wind of the situation, he came rushing to Sirius’ bedside, and it was like the entire thing had never happened, only whatever was happening between the werewolf and the disowned heir was intensified. And, Peter was once again left in the shadows of his friends.
So, basically, he has no idea what to expect for the coming year.