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It’s Christmas day, one of the most important days, especially for James, especially this year—the first Christmas with Sirius and Regulus out of that awful home. James was determined to make this the best Christmas for Sirius and Regulus; he wanted everything to be perfect, down to every single article of clothing.
This was at the forefront of James’s mind the moment he woke up. As everything pulled together in his mind, he thought of Regulus, wanting everything to be perfect for him. Regulus had gotten out of Grimmauld Place after Sirius; he had to endure that hell that rapidly got worse every day Sirius was gone.
There was something special about Regulus, maybe it's the fact that he’s Sirius’s little brother, or the sad look in his eyes, but James couldn’t stop thinking about how he was treated in Grimmauld Place and how James was going to treat him better.
It took all day for everything to be somewhat perfect in James’s eyes. All of the decorations and food were over the top. Everything is done to the extreme, just for Regulus and Sirius. The wreath on the door, the green and red tinsel, the banners, mistletoes. James couldn’t have done more; literally, the whole house was decorated, even the bathroom.
James is zoning out; no matter what he does, he can’t help but think about what the holidays were like for Sirius and Regulus at Grimmauld Place. The torture they had to go through, the horrible things their parents resorted to after Sirius left to keep Regulus there. The bruises that had been on the pair when they were at the house, the fear in Regulus’s face every time James talked to him.
James snaps out of it when Sirius waves in his face, “Prongs, Mooney is here, stop being a bad host and greet our friend.”
James knew that Sirius was joking, he could tell, but he still worried he wasn’t doing enough for Sirius or Regulus. He laughs and pats Remus on the back, “Hey, yeah, sorry. I- uhm.. Nevermind. Hello, my friend, and welcome to my humble abode.”
Remus walks in, holds up his secret santa gift, smiles, “Hello, my friend, and thank you for inviting me to your humble abode.”
As everyone was filtering in, James was hanging off of Sirius. Every time he was free, he was by Sirius, hugging him, touching his arms or shoulders in some fashion. Being close to Sirius was like his way of comforting himself. For a while, after Sirius ran away from Walburga and Orion, James slept beside him, just to make sure Sirius was there and real. He had to force himself not to stay by Regulus every waking moment of the day he had run away too. When Regulus got to his house, finally safe, James wanted with everything in his heart to wrap Regulus in his arms and never let go, to never let anyone hurt him again, but he and Regulus weren’t close. They weren’t friends as Regulus had made abundantly clear a few days before.
James went to find Sirius again. He needed someone to hug, to make him feel like he was a person and not some lump of nothing waiting for the next person to be saved for his ‘hero complex' as Regulus put it. Once he found Sirius, he wrapped his arms around him and rested his head in the crook of his neck.
“I hope everything is okay.” James whispered, “I hope you both enjoy it.”
James was having a hard time today. He often felt like this, like he wasn’t enough, or he wasn’t needed anymore. James tried not to think like this, but he couldn’t help it. Sirius had Remus now; he didn’t want to be with James anymore because he went on dates now. Sirius had somebody, and James didn’t; that’s all it was in James’s mind. He wasn’t needed anymore. Taking in another moment of the cigarette and linen before backing off.
James smiles and turns to everyone, “Why hello party people, now that everyone is here, I think it is time to officially start the evening, but first I wanted to say that tonight is a fairly special deal to me, so if anyone isn’t feeling anything or needs something, please come ask me or tell me. I am here for the people and am ready for anything thrown at me. We have all sorts of food options for different people, drinks, and games. Just ask, and it shall be done; even if I have to conjure something, it will happen. Okay, have fun!”
Instead of enjoying his party, he went straight to the kitchen to check on everything. He set out the drinks and took a butterbeer for himself. He turned to see Regulus walking into the kitchen and quickly turned his head back. If anything, James would like to avoid Regulus after what happened. He tried to leave the kitchen when he heard Regulus speak.
“Hey, uh, we’re okay, right?”
James blinks then clears his throat, “Hah, yeah, of course, why wouldn't we be?” James knew why; he just wanted to avoid everything that had happened the other day at all costs.
Regulus rolls his eyes, “Obviously, you know why Potter, or you wouldn’t be acting like a kicked puppy, then leave every time I walk into the same room as you.”
Ouch, James looks at him, “I get it, Regulus, it’s fine. It’s not like you said anything that wasn’t true. We’re fine, and I’m just saving you from enduring my suffocating presence, as you put it.” James tried to joke, but it just came out even more pathetic.
“Well, I’m not going to ruin your Christmas, Regulus. Bye.” James moved around Regulus and went to find Sirius again.
Relief, that's what he felt when Sirius hugged him back. It told him that Sirius didn’t suddenly hate him, like he still wanted to be his friend.
Sirius eventually has enough around James’s fourth butterbeer and eighth trip to go hug him within the last thirty minutes, so he pulls him aside, “Okay, Prongs, what is going on? You’ve been weird for days.”
With that sentence, James stands straight; every bad thought he’s told himself within the last week is flooding back. He’s ruined Sirius’s Christmas because of his stupid feelings.
“Nothing’s wrong, you know, I just get like this around Christmas,” James smiled. He always smiled, no matter the circumstance, no matter how hurt he was.
“Yeah, whatever you say-”
James interrupts with a finger on Sirius’s lips, “Shhh- everything's okay, my friend. Get back and enjoy the party.” Okay, he was definitely tipsy.
It's been twenty more minutes, and James is drunk and opening his secret santa.
“Awwww oh my gosh it’s so cute- Oh wait there’s more!” He held up a snitch plushie and a bracelet with the dates Sirius and Regulus officially got out of that hellhole of a house. He felt the tears start rushing down his face before he could stop them.
In his defence, with blurry eyes, Sirius and Regulus look alike. When he walked up to who appeared to be Sirius at the time and hugged him, he felt peace for a moment, until realized they weren’t hugging him back, and they smelled like chocolate and mint instead of cigarettes and linen.
His eyes widened as he jerked back, “I’m so sorry I- I didn’t mean to.”
— — — — — — —
Regulus didn’t like being touched, not even by his friends, but when James wrapped his arms around him, it was pleasant. The smell of eucalyptus and vanilla, the strong arms. It was different, but welcome. He wasn’t complaining, and then the comfort suddenly went away, and he was met with fearful eyes.
James Potter was a lot, but fearful wasn’t one of those things, “I’m so sorry I- I didn’t mean to.”
Regulus held his hand up, “Don’t bother Potter, just go sit back down.”
He wouldn’t have felt bad if it weren't for the guilt seeping into every part of James’s face as he went back to his seat.
It was Regulus’s turn to open his gift now, and when he did, he was surprised. He looked at Barty, “Was this you?”
Barty shook his head. Regulus was kind of frantic; he looked at all his friends, and they shook their heads.
“Okay, can the person who gave me this talk to me after the party?”
Sirius was confused, and it showed. “Well, what is it?”
Regulus’s eyes were sharp. “None of your business.”
The rest of the party went just fine; everyone was a little on edge, but the butterbeer helped them forget that anything even happened. No one asked him and eventually everyone left. As Regulus got settled into bed, he heard a soft knock on his door.
“Come in.”
It was James, “Hey, uhm, I just wanted to apologize again for the hug, and uhm, if you didn’t like your gift, I can get something else”
Regulus’s face turned in confusion, “How did you know about this?”
James visibly swallowed, “Well, when you got to the house, you were upset and crying and talking about this book, so when dad and I went to pick up your stuff I made sure I grabbed the book and I had forgotten I had it for a while and when I found it again and got you for secret santa I thought it would be perfect to give it to you, but I can always get you something else it’s not that big of a deal.”
“James, stop talking.” Regulus didn’t know what to do with himself. He was upset with himself for thinking James was selfish, and he was guilty for talking to James like he was a horrible person, but he also wanted to hug James again. So he did.
He felt James’s arms wrap around him and a face in the crook of his neck. He smelt the eucalyptus and vanilla and felt his shoulder get damp.
“I’m sorry, Regulus, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t.” Regulus pulled back, even though he didn’t want to.
“Are you sure, because I-”
In Regulus’s head, he knew he shouldn’t, but in his heart, he wanted to, so he hugged James again and nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“You didn’t.” He let out a breath that he felt he had been holding for ages and finally melted into the hug.
“Okay,” James whispered, barely even audible, and held onto Regulus tighter.
"And, my Christmas was perfect." He felt James's smile against his neck.