Archive of Our Own

“Rocky… this is too much, I can’t believe this.” Grace is already crying as he detaches from his XEVA suit, leaving the pieces discarded on the shore as he looks around, taking in everything. 

His voice is thick with emotion as he turns to me.

“Is not enough,” I counter. “We will expand it more in time. The ocean is too hot for you still, we are working on temperature, but the rest you are free to see.”

“It’s beautiful, it’s absolutely gorgeous. I never—” Grace stumbles in his haste to step out of his XEVA suit, and Adrian steadies him. It’s just me, Grace, and Adrian here for his first exploration of the dome. Adrian had tried to argue it should be just me and him, but Adrian was the lead on the entire project, they deserved to see how much their hard work matters, and what better source than from Grace himself? “I never thought I’d see anything that felt like Earth again.”

“Does it actually feel like Earth, question?” Adrian chimes excitedly, and Grace smiles at them.

“It’s incredible, Adrian. I can’t thank you enough.”

Adrian’s vents pop with little huffs of denial, but Grace is too busy with unlacing his shoes, kicking them off, and then his socks. He steps onto the sand and takes a shaky breath in. And then he’s off.

“Grace!”

Grace is running. Sprinting across the beach, sand and stones kicking up behind him as his heels dig into the uneven surface below him. It’s almost a little scary. I’ve never seen him run, but of course, how could I in the cramped hunk of metal we’d been living in? He’d been fast when he needed to, but never quite like this. I’m in awe as I listen to him move further and further, and suddenly, he’s farther from me than we have ever been, aside from my solo trips down to Erid. It kind of terrifies me. And then Grace collapses, and it’s my turn to run.

“Grace! Are you okay, question?” I rush to his side, Adrian following behind cautiously as we close the gap between us and Grace, who is still on the ground, body heaving as he drags in air. “Grace!”

“I’m okay, Rock,” he pants out, and when I finally reach him, I can feel the joy in his face, his movements. His hands dig into the sand beneath him, scrunching it in his grasp. His mouth is open wide to breathe, but it’s undoubtedly curved into a smile as he does. The tears still cling to his eyelashes, but his eyes are closed, eyebrows not furrowed in the slightest. He’s happy. 

“Just had to get that out of my system.” Grace giggles after his words, breathing still reedy. “I gotta build my strength back up, jeez.” His eyes open, and he looks to me, holding up an arm. I take it and help him sit up. “I couldn’t even tell you the last time I got to run on a beach.” Grace takes a few more slow breaths, then pushes himself to stand. “Okay, okay. I wanna see my house next!”

“House is on the hill,” Adrian points toward the beautiful, angular house tucked at the lowest peak of the hill range that curves around the back half of the dome. Grace looks toward it with awe, and then he’s off again. 

“Grace! Stop running! You need shoes back!” I hurry after him and bully him into slipping his shoes back on before we all make the trek up the hill to his new home. Grace keeps gasping and murmuring under his breath, walking around the outside as he takes it all in.  

“Oh, wow, look at these windows! The framing, oh, the door!” 

“I made door,” I can’t help but boast a bit. I can’t take credit for much in the biodome’s actual building, so I can’t help but point out the stuff I did take part in. “Go inside already.”

“Okay, okay, bossy,” Grace snorts and turns the knob and gasps as his inner home is revealed to him for the first time. “Is this a mud room?! Wow, and those French doors are gorgeous… How do you even know about those? I guess now I know why you made me show Adrian those home renovation shows.” He steps inside, and we follow. Adrian is larger than I, but they can fit through the front door just fine with a little twist. There’s a back entrance too, for larger Eridians and to move furniture if needed in the future. 

“Adrian, show Grace all your work,” I urge, and Adrian shudders as Grace suddenly turns to them with an eager expression.

“Please! You did so much for me, let me hear all about it.”

“Did my job, that’s all,” Adrian waves off his words, and Grace huffs.

“Can any Eridian take a compliment, I swear… Come on, Adrian, gimme the house tour!” Grace walks over and offers his hand, and Adrian falters for a moment before placing one of theirs atop his. It’s beautiful, sends something stirring through me, to hear Adrian’s beautiful angles cupped in Grace’s softness. I’m left behind and have to hurry after them when I realize.

“This is eating room,” Adrian chitters as they lead Grace into his kitchen area, shivering a little just like I do when the topic comes up. Human eating traditions sounded like a horror story when I warned Adrian about them early in their meetings with Grace. I’m still not a fan myself, but I’ve gotten used to it by now. Adrian has not, but they still did their best to create a good meal station for Grace. 

It’s sparse compared to the huge ones I’ve been shown in movies and shows, but that’s only natural. Grace isn’t actually able to do any cooking here, it’s more aesthetic than anything else. A long table presses against the far wall, cabinets built underneath to hold whatever Grace likes. At the opposite end of the main entrance is a rectangular white box. 

“Woah, a fridge? Why does this look so realistic?!” Grace hurries over, and Adrian, still attached with one hand, has no choice but to follow. I hear them shudder again and have to hold back a laugh. Grace opens the fridge, both top and bottom doors, and huffs a laugh. “You actually have these working? What’s the point? I mean I love it, but it’s not like I’ve got produce to keep cold.”

“Thought you might want to experiment with temperatures for your nutrition shakes,” I explain, and Adrian hums in agreement. “And your water can be kept in there as well, work is being done to make you containers for both parts.”

“Ooh, I could make ice, I haven’t had ice in forever. Hey, I bet I could make some kind of bastardized popsicles with my nutrient shakes!”

“Next space please,” Adrian tugs Grace away from the fridge, and he stumbles behind them and laughs. “Sitting area,” Adrian explains as they step only a few steps away and into Grace’s main sitting room. 

It’s a bit of a bare area, aside from a low circular table and a chair that doesn’t sound quite right to how I recall them. The largest window in the house is right in front, big and triangular, hopefully flooding the room with the outside light. 

“I will help you decorate it more,” Adrian offers, then shies slightly. “If you’d like. I didn’t want them to make too many things without your input.”

“I’d love that, thank you, Adrian. This is great so far! A good place to have guests. Like you guys!” He grins brightly and looks back towards me. I nod my carapace in agreement. Grace looks around, taking in the space. He looks up to the ceiling, where electrical paneling is exposed, and I know what he’s about to ask, so I cut him off before he can. 

“Ship medical bot will be installed here to continue its care of you. Was waiting until you were ready to move in before we bring it down.”

“Armando in here makes sense, great idea!” Grace nods in approval. “He’ll be nice company too when you’re busy.” Busy… I will probably be quite busy now that he’s been moved down here and other projects are getting started. Many plans are being made for technological advancement, with Earth knowledge now being spread through Erid. Lots to do. I’ll need to do my part too. 

Adrian gently pulls Grace onward, and we slowly go through his house. He’s got a desk area, science area, of course, a bedroom, or their best amalgamation of what one should look like. The house is kind of a blank slate in most ways on purpose. This is Grace’s possibly forever home, he should get to make it look however he likes. Still, he’s got a bed, crafted from the three mattresses in the ship to make something large enough for him to roll around in his sleep, as much as he likes. Enough space for me to watch close by, too, that’ll be nice. 

Grace said he doesn’t need me to watch every sleep, but I can watch as much as I like. I guess we’ll see how busy I end up now and see how often I’ll be home to watch. He’s a top priority; I’ll do my best. 

There are a few other rooms in his house, for now, empty until he decides what to do with them. Adrian points out lots of details as they go, and Grace listens, rapt. They talk about the texture choices for the walls and doorways, the little touches I would have never considered. I have a similar mindset when it comes to engineering tasks, but aesthetics have never been a concern for me. Still, I admire the trait in my mate, and so does Grace.

He asks question after question, and Adrian responds with an unending patience I’ve never managed to have. It’s beautiful the way they interact. So different to how they both are with me, but no less or more. Just different. I love it. I love them. I got distracted again and paused in an empty room, only pulled from my thoughts as Grace shrieks from somewhere else, and I rush to find him. It takes a moment because they’ve entered the only fully soundproof room in the house, though the door is still open, so I find them after a bit of searching.

“I never thought I’d see one of these again!” 

Grace is hugging his shower. He is pressed to the walls, hands tugging the shower head down from its holster and cradling it to his chest as if it were too precious to hold any other way. His head turns to me, and his mouth is tight like he’s trying not to cry again. “You really made me a shower…”

“Of course! I promised. Was easy.” 

It was painstaking. Human water technology is something completely out of our scope. We have no use, no need to move water from one space to another. Making the metal parts was easy enough, but learning how it all moves and transports itself was another. It was excruciating, but also fun. The water can be recycled, but it has to be cleaned, filtered, or used in other areas. Frankly, an embarrassing amount of my contributions to Grace’s home went to this room, and this room only. I made him a shower, a sink, a toilet with a water cleaning attachment, and since I was already going to such lengths, I made him a deep separate tub as well, so he had everything in here he could possibly need. Grace deserves it.

“Easy, hmm…” Adrian teases me, but Grace is too excited to catch on. He’s moved onto the tub now, climbing into it and giggling with glee as he peeks over the rim at us. 

“This is easily the best tub I’ve ever been in. Thank you, Rocky. I’m almost tempted to kick you both out early so I can spend the rest of my first day on Erid soaking in water until I become one giant prune.”

“Don’t know last word,” I chitter, and Grace hums in thought as he climbs back out.

“It’s a wrinkly fruit. When humans are left in water for a long time, our blood vessels constrict and give a wrinkled texture to our fingers and toes to help us grip things better. I’ll show you sometime; I think you’d find the change interesting. What’s next?”

“House tour over. Do you like your home, question?” Adrian stands tall and proud, beautiful as ever. Grace smiles widely and opens his arms.

“I love it, thank you for all your hard work, Adrian. Can I hug you?”

“Hug!” Adrian chimes with shy laughter, shifting their balance and offering two open arms in mimicry. I’ve gotten them well accustomed to human-style hugging thanks to my own penchant for them, thanks to Grace. Grace closes the gap between them and hugs Adrian tightly, and I can’t help the happy trill that escapes from my mates' embrace. I love them so deeply, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have them both.

I wish I could enjoy their time more, but I’ll relish what I get between the gaps in my sure-to-be-packed schedule from here on.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

One day becomes two, becomes three, becomes two weeks before I even really register it. My days are slow, happy, but slow. I watch Grace sleep most nights, and spend my days between him and Adrian. 

They’re both very happy with my company, and we spend a lot of time planning out our homes. Grace has requested an area to clean his clothes, so I’ve been working on plans for that. Adrian has decorated our home with many items from our past living space, and they keep requesting my input on alterations to this new one, which I am happy to give. I offer to make them shelving, but they’ve already had some made. They seem to have everything. It’s a good thing, according to Adrian. One less thing for me to do! Keep my meant-to-be-busy schedule from getting even busier.

It’s not quite the lofty plans I expected to be given once Grace was settled. In fact, though we have had many visitors, not one has actually requested me to review anything. It seemed like I was constantly on call when Grace was still up in the ship, called upon for both plans regarding him and many, many more that didn’t. 

Now there’s nothing. My schedule is painfully clear.

I feel restless. I keep catching myself pacing, waiting for someone to call on me. Alone, so strangely alone, I’ve got nothing to keep me busy except the work I make for myself. Filling my time with useless tinkering, waiting for someone to save me. It reminds me of—

If no one comes to me, perhaps I’ll go to them. Adrian walks into the room just as I’ve opened the front door, and I pause.

“Where are you going, my love?” They trill at me sweetly, and not for the first time do I think about how lucky I am to get to hear their voice again. I trill back and abandon the door to hug them, which they happily return. 

“I am going to see if they need help with the probe project for Threeworld.”

“What?” Adrian seems shocked, a hand curling around the arm where their bond mark lies. “Rocky, you should be resting! You finally have the time to experience being home; why are you so quick to find more work?”

“There’s still so much to be done!” I stomp a little to try to emphasize the urgency. “Our star is still dimming, they’re looking into human technology to find the best way to seed it with Taumoeba, and maybe I could bridge that gap.”

Adrian hums unhappily. “They have the Earth thinking machine. There are many, many Eridians already working on this. It’s not just you anymore, my love. You should go visit Mickey instead, you’ve only seen her once since your return.”

“Mm…” It was difficult seeing them. My littermate, my sibling, so different from how I remembered them. They had been a rebellious hunter when I left, solitary, stoic. I returned to them softened by life, with not only a mate, but a child! Their litter bore only one viable egg, but one is all you need to become a parent. Mickey felt like someone I’d never known. 

It scares me to think how much of Erid might now feel like that. I’ve been avoiding thinking about it as much as possible.

“Maybe,” I reply, if only to placate Adrian. They settle slightly, but they know me too well to fully believe me. “Still, I think I should try to help out. Lots to be done to get Erid back to where we were before the astrophage.”

“And we have teams already working on the next steps. Work will be done even if you aren’t directly involved. Trust in our science teams and take time to actually enjoy your return.”

I step closer, bumping our carapaces together. “I am enjoying you,” I chitter, and Adrian flusters sweetly. “I understand, promise. Still, I will offer my help if they’d like it. Okay?”

“Fine.” Adrian’s vents shift as they huff at me, grabbing another arm and sliding our farewell markings together. The feeling sends a shudder through me at the utter intimacy of it, the rhythmic sound of our ridges sliding together is so thrilling yet familiar. Something younger mates do with every goodbye, something we used to do before I began preparing for the astrophage mission. The last time I felt that intimate goodbye was just before the Blip-A departed. 

Adrian’s gone still, too. I wonder if they did it out of some unconscious habit, a return to a form we haven’t had in decades. It’s a little embarrassing how young that makes me feel. I wonder if it sent a thrill of recognition through them, too. They try to pull away, and I stop them, shifting my grip and then running my arm across theirs in return, that gentle knocking sound echoing off the walls of our new home. “I’ll be back to watch you sleep,” I promise softly, though their next sleep is days away, and Adrian hums in acknowledgment, fingers gently grasping me until I pull away and finally leave.

I am so lucky Adrian waited for me. Their patience is truly one of their most enviable traits. I may be better than Grace in that regard, but in the grand scheme of things, my patience is very small. I endured because I had no other choice. My time in space was grueling; I felt every second, every minute, every year in excruciating detail. I had to keep myself busy, or I would’ve lost myself to the grief. It’s still there, I think. I try not to acknowledge it as much as possible. I need things to do. I don’t want to see what will reveal itself if I give it the chance, so I’ll get a new task. Stay busy. Everything will be fine.

The walk to the far end of the science center doesn’t take long, but it’s still uncomfortable. Everyone around here knows exactly who I am, so every person I pass either goes totally still or starts talking about me like I can’t hear everything they’re saying. Being called Savior Rocky has gotten old fast. 

“Savior Rocky!” I hold back an urge to stomp like a petulant pebble as a chorus of my name echoes as I enter the engineering wing. One of the leaders rushes to my side, tall and spindly, easily thrice my height. Spire. One of many Eridians working here who joined in my absence. “It’s an honor to see you. What brings you here today?”

“I wanted to see if you needed any help with the probe project.”

“Oh!” Spire startles, stumbling backward in their surprise for a moment before steadying themselves again. The others in the room have gone quiet, but I can hear one nudge another, someone else nervously clacking their claws. “Thank you for thinking of us, but we are doing well. The probe is almost complete already!” I can’t tell if they’re lying exactly, but something about their tone just feels wrong.

“Really…” I murmur, tapping at the floor. “Well, anything else I could be of use with, then? I am well-versed in human engineering, spent a lot of time on my journey home researching it. I could offer advice if you don’t need me to actually make anything.”

“No!”  “We’re fine!” “We don’t need it!” Another chorus of responses, all rejections, before the leader stomps and the rest of the team goes silent again. 

“Thank you so much, but please, you should be enjoying your return home. We are managing wonderfully thanks to the Earth thinking machine, there are many plans in motion already. Your help is not needed right now. We will surely call for you if we need your services.”

Wow. I hadn’t expected to be turned down completely like this. I thought my skills were needed. Special. I’d been so busy upon our return, but suddenly I’m not even worth running things by? “Fine. That’s fine. I’ll make my own ways to keep busy if I’m so unneeded here. I could be helping, but if you think me useless…” I can’t be here any longer. The younger engineers make a fuss as I go, I can hear them arguing with Spire over his wording, but there’s no way they could’ve rejected me here without me feeling, well, rejected. I’d never been especially popular prior to the mission, my short temper has always held me back, but I haven’t been so resoundingly shut out like that since I saved the entire planet.

I can’t go home yet; I don’t want to face Adrian’s gentle comfort; I don’t deserve it. I can’t do anything useful anymore. I did my job and saved the planet, and I guess that’s it. No more engineering for Rocky. Maybe I’ll pick up something else, a new career to fill my time if no one will utilize my painstakingly crafted talents in the engineering world anymore. No, I can’t even pretend. I love engineering, I love making things, working on things, making things better. I need a project to fill up my thoughts until nothing else fits. Why won’t they give me one?

Grace would give me one. He loves my inventions, praises me more than I can stand to hear. He wants my work still, right? I’m already halfway to the dome before I even realize it. My home with Adrian is right off of it. Usually, I enter through our personal airlock, but I head for one of the main entrances instead, taking one of the suits made just for me. I have one at every entrance, just in case I need to enter quickly for an emergency.  

It’s late for Grace, he might not even be awake, but I need to meet him. I need him. I hurry up the hillside and knock on his door. No answer. I knock harder. I can hear him as he starts awake, regret pooling in me as he fumbles getting off his bed and falls to the floor. Maybe I should go before he realizes it's me. No. I need him. 

“Rocky?!” Grace sways as he swings the door open, the hand not clinging to the doorknob shifting to push his hair out of his face. His glasses are tilted, thrown on haphazardly on his way to greet me. I can hear the liquid clinging to his forehead, he must’ve been sleeping for a while already. “Are you okay? Is Adrian okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is full of concern, evident even through the sleepy slurring of his words.

I missed him. I just visited him, maybe an Earth day ago at the most, but I missed him. I came here for validation, but suddenly I can’t bring myself to speak. I feel like a pebble; I just want to curl up in his lap and let him dote on me. I shift awkwardly, struggling with my sudden loss for words. Grace looks me over, his head tilts, and then he leans down and presses a gentle hand to the top of my vents.

“Watch me sleep?”

“Yes,” I blurt out like he’s about to rescind the offer, but Grace just offers a little laugh and steps aside to let me in. We walk to his bedroom together in silence, and he yawns loudly as he picks up his quilt from where it lies crumpled on the floor before crawling back into bed. He turns to me and opens his arms, and I take the invitation gratefully, crawling in and settling next to him. He curls around me, and I gently remove his glasses and set them on his bedside table. 

“We’re gonna talk tomorrow about this,” Grace yawns, eyes shut as he nestles himself against my arm, clutching another to him like I’ve seen him do with his pillow countless times.

“Understand,” I agree, though I kind of hope he’ll forget by the morning. Maybe I’ll figure my words out by the time he wakes up. Grace lets out a little mumble of an attempt to wish me goodnight. “Good night, Grace,” I reply, and settle in to watch him. This is what I needed. Familiar, safe, I know what to do here, I know my role. I watch my mate sleep and think of what to build him in the morning.

Grace sleeps for a blissful six hours in my hold, and it’s the calmest I’ve felt in weeks. He groans and sighs around me as he slowly wakes, twisting away to stretch, his bones popping in a way that terrified me when I first heard them. I’m used to it now, used to every little unique part of Grace, endeared by them. He opens his eyes and smiles up at me. 

“Good morning,” he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep. I trill happily and grab his glasses, slipping them onto his face. 

“Good morning, Grace.”

He gets up slowly, taking his time as we enjoy the quiet of a morning just for two. He slowly wanders to the kitchen and gets a nutrient shake and a glass of water, settling in his chair as I sit by his side. I could leave, I have before while he eats, but I’d rather sit through it so I can stay by him.

“Clingy today, huh?” He teases, nudging me with a leg. I snatch it up, clutching it to my carapace and laughing as Grace tries and fails to free himself.

“My leg now.”

“Hey, don’t get greedy, you’ve already got one leg up on me!” Grace grunts with effort as he tries to pull from my grasp, but I move with him, careful not to hold too tightly, but I’m also not letting my prize go just yet.

“Now I can be symmetrical in Earth standards. Is there a name for six-legged animals, question?”

Grace stills as he considers, sipping loudly at his shake as he does. “Hexapod, pretty sure. I don’t think we see hexapods outside of insects. Get two more, and then you’ll be an arachnid, and you’ll finally live up to your scary space spider beginnings.”

“Alright, give me two more.” I grab his other leg, and Grace laughs brightly, kicking in my grip and doing his best to keep his arms out of my reach.

“Hey! I need some of these! Harvest from someone else!”

“Greedy,” I huff and thrill in the way Grace giggles and squirms beneath me as I half-climb onto him, careful not to put too much weight on him. “Share limbs, I am your mate!”

“You should share with me! I’m the lesser-legged here!”

“Greedy greedy,” I tease and grab another of Grace’s limbs, and another. He’s fully in my grasp now, arms held down at his side as I chitter with pride at my victory over him. My strength is unmatched, and he knows it too. “Good Grace, give me limbs now.”

Grace stares at me, surprisingly blank-faced. I hear the blood rush through him in a way I’ve only heard a few times, his face filling with it as he stares at me. “Grace, question?” I loosen my grip slightly, a little worried I’ve done too much. Grace suddenly leans forward in his newfound freedom and presses his face to my carapace. His mouth is wet as his lips land with a wet smack just below my vents, and I shudder at the strangeness of it. It takes a moment before I realize just what he’s done. A kiss. 

I’ve only heard it through movies, and even then, it was different. Disgusting. So wet, so obscene. I had thought the humans had been trying to consume each other the first time it happened in something we’d watched. Grace had laughed for ages before he finally explained it to me. One of the most classic signs of human affection. A closeness only between those you truly love. He’s never given me one before. 

“Disgust,” I huff out, but I know my body is betraying me. I let go of Grace to stomp out my giddiness, my vents shuddering with puffs of air as I spin in place. I wish we had no gravity right now so I could bounce off the walls again, but this will have to do. Grace watches me with a fond expression, folding over himself to rest on his knees as he goes back to drinking his breakfast. “Gross human,” I throw out for good measure, and he grins at me.

“Sure, bud.”

When Grace finishes his meal, he straightens back up, offering me a hand, which I gently grasp as we sit beside each other once more. “So… you wanna tell me why you showed up in the middle of the night?”

Not really. I grumble to myself as I consider my words. I don’t want to talk about it; I don’t know how much I can even bring myself to explain. I don’t even want to think about it on my own, let alone tell Grace or Adrian about it. So I’ll compromise, and hopefully he won’t dig deeper than I can handle.

“...The engineering teams don’t want my help.” 

“What?” Grace furrows his brows, confused. “Why not?”

I shrug, or attempt to, but I think he gets it. “Told me to enjoy myself, said they don’t need me.”

“Aww, Rock,” Grace coos at me, his hand shifting to pet my vents. “They’re not wrong. You deserve to rest, you’ve been going nonstop since we got to Erid.” I’ve been going nonstop for 60 years. I don’t know how to stop, not for long, anyway. I don’t want to stop. 

“I like engineering, I’m good at it. You think I’m good, right, question?”

“Rocky, you are without a doubt the best engineer I have ever known. And I’ve known some pretty darn good ones.”

Grace still thinks I’m capable. That’s a relief. I shimmy a little, happy. “I want to make things for you. I miss it. Can I engineer for you, question?”

He chuckles and leans down to hug me. I hug him back. “Of course you can, Rocky. Anytime.”

I’ll take his word for it. So what if Erid has deemed me useless? I’ve got someone who needs me still. Someone who will keep me busy. 

I make Grace his clothes washing machine. He tried to have me make an old form, but it looked too dangerous. He only has two hands. What if one gets crushed accidentally?! So I make him one of the modern models. It’s easier than I expected. He chooses the room next to his bathroom for it, so I can easily hook up the plumbing below to supply and remove the water. His entire home has been fitted for Erid power, already being converted into his inferior human electrical system for his thinking machines and the ship medic bot. The design is sleek, easy to recreate with our metal alloys. Grace says it looks just like one he’d see on Earth, and I feel fulfilled.

I go back to Adrian and enjoy my time with them after, watch them sleep, and revel in their closeness to me. I don’t leave the house, but Adrian stays with me, we talk, sing, and laugh. It feels good, feels right. I enjoy the rest. Then I feel that ache deep in me, begging me to busy myself again, and I get back to work. I make Grace a TV, well, I repurpose him a TV. With his blessing, I have one of the larger panels in the screen room removed from the ship and brought to the dome. It’s a troublesome effort, but the Eridians in the space elevator seem happy to have a reason to explore more in the Hail Mary. 

Grace’s home has a large empty space opposite his sleeping space, so he decides to make it a “living” room. The name is stupid; he lives in the entire house! But I’m too excited for more things to do to bully him about it… much. I install the screen sideways, and then Grace gives me my next task. A texture screen the same size so we can watch and listen right next to each other! Adrian is excited about this addition, too, so they can’t even complain about my delaying my next sleep cycle to work on it. Much.

Bliss comes soon after completion. I feel so successful; my spot by Grace and Adrian’s side is well-earned. We cuddle up by Grace’s bed, all three of us, and watch movies. I fall asleep at some point and wake up to Adrian’s beautiful tinkling laughter as Grace explains something to them. I am filled to the brim with joy.

Then I get back to work. I make Grace a stove, a container to boil water in, a bathroom mirror, hooks in the walls, a floor cleaning device, a clothesline, clothespins, a device to angle his mattress at his preference, a couch! Not difficult; Eridians use couches; I just made one more comfortable for Grace’s squishy body. A chess set! Not my first, I made a simple one we used back in the ship, but this one is much more ornate. It stays on Grace’s coffee table from then on. I make him picture frames, light switch dimmers, and dimmable lights to use them on! I’ve got so much to do, so much to think about; I’m unstoppable!

“No thanks!”

I wait in front of Grace, where he lounges in his chair, hands cradling a mug of hot sugar water. I’ve been antsy all night, waiting for Grace’s next request. It’s already been a day since I made the light dimmers, I need something to do! But Grace just said no thanks. I must be mishearing him; maybe it’s the name of some human item that just sounds like no thanks. 

“Say again, question?” 

Grace smiles sweetly at me. “I can’t think of anything else I need right now! But thank you for asking! You’ve made this place so much more comfortable. Wanna play a game in a bit?”

Nothing else? There are millions of things on Earth we don’t have here, how can he not think of any? “Want to make things for you, give me something to make. You must need something.”

“Rock, you’ve got me down to asking for light dimmers, I promise there’s nothing else I want! Relax! Go get some fresh air. You should check out that sculpture gallery with Adrian they’ve been talking about! I bet you’d love it.”

What gallery? When did we talk about that? Was I here? Maybe I’d been too caught up in working to catch it. It doesn’t matter. I can’t go out there. “Grace, you need more drinking cups, I’ll make you—”

“Oh, Adrian said they’d make me some!”

“Adrian said what, question?”

“I was talking to them about human pottery while you made the stove! They wanted to know what I planned to use it for. They said they’d learn how to make me some mugs since they do that class every week?”

I’ve known Adrian loves sculpting for decades. One of my most prized possessions in space was a small token they made for me, small enough for me to keep with me at all times. Xenonite center to try and make it sturdier, I’ll give it to them, it lasted far longer than my crewmates believed it would. Outlasted them, even. I broke it two weeks after parting ways with Grace. It felt like a terrible sign, but I tried my best to piece it back together. A week later, the taumoeba escaped. I left the remnants on the Blip-A.

Our home is filled with Adrian’s art, many pieces litter our walls, and I only recognize a few of them. How many more did Adrian make while I was away that I’ll never get to see? Adrian’s invited me to join their class every week since we’ve returned. I’ve avoided it, however I could, shameful, but it’s in the middle of the city, and just the thought of going somewhere so full of other Eridians makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide. But now Adrian is taking my job from me, and I can’t have that.

“Rock? Where are you going?” Grace’s voice echoes behind me as I leave his house and storm straight to mine and Adrian’s, huffing as I step through the airlock and kick off the suit. Adrian is settled nearby, a book in two hands. I tap absently at the floor to read the hole-filled page they have open, it sounds like total nonsense to me. Yet another thing that’s left me behind, I wasn’t even much of a book fan, but I feel some strange sense of envy knowing I’ve missed dozens of popular stories I may never learn.

“Hello, beloved,” Adrian coos sweetly, so unsuspecting of my terrible mood, and I melt for a moment, ready to just curl up under the safety of their sturdy carapace before I remember I am here for business.

“You are taking my job away!”

“What?” Adrian sets down their book, full attention on me. “What job? You aren’t meant to be working.”

“Making Grace things!” I stomp petulantly. “That’s my job! I was going to make him new cups today, and he told me you said you are!”

“Rocky, my warmth, my darling…” Adrian’s vents puff, I can feel the frustration seeping out of them. “That is not a job, that’s you making nice things for your mate. If you can’t do that without turning it into a job, maybe you need to stop making things for others for a while. Make something for yourself, instead! Come to my class with me, make something to display in our home.”

“I can’t do that! I can’t, I can’t.”  I stomp multiple times, and now Adrian is rushing to my side, pulling me into their undercarriage, and I can’t help but go. I feel safe there, I need that right now. It’s not enough. Why is it not enough? “I need a job, Adrian, I need to do things. I can’t just stop.”

“You can do things, Rocky, no one is saying you can’t! But why must it be for others’ benefit? When was the last time you’ve done something you enjoyed just for you?”

“I don’t need to enjoy! My satisfaction comes from proving I can provide! For you, for Grace, for Erid, and none of you seem to need me!” My words quaver, and not for the first time do I wish Eridians could cry as humans do. It would be such a great release. Instead, I shudder under my mate’s grasp and let out a painful keen that makes their hold on me tighten.

“Rocky.” Adrian’s tone shudders as they chime my name softly, as though any louder and I might shatter. I almost feel like I might. “Something is wrong. You need help, this isn’t right. I knew you needed rest, I tried to give it to you, but you just won’t stop. Let me help you, I can make an appointment with a counselor. I’m sure the one I visit could recommend another for you.”

Adrian goes to a counselor? Of course, it makes sense, I’m sure it’s something they’d been doing while I was gone. Erid has many suffering from loss, be it from the astrophage crisis or otherwise, but it strikes me in an awful way to realize yet again how little I know of Adrian now. I’m so undeserving to be by their side, so caught up in everything else, any other Eridian surely would’ve given up on me by now, but Adrian’s endless patience keeps them by my side. But I can’t stop, I can’t let myself slow down and relearn them as much as I wish I could. And then I realize what they said before the counseling, and something about it bothers me.

“What do you mean you tried to give it to me?”

Adrian tenses around me, and I pull out of their grasp. “Adrian? What do you mean you tried to give me rest?”

“Don’t be upset,” Adrian pleads, and I stomp and back away. “My warmth, please, I did it for you.”

“Did what? Adrian, tell me.”

“I… I put in a formal order…  to stop you from being called upon for work. Just for a few years!” They try to step closer to me, and I step back. I’m shocked. “Rocky, you need it! The moment you returned, you were flooded with requests, more than even you could stand! Grace is finally settled, we are finally settled, it just didn’t seem right for them to keep calling upon you and keeping you from properly enjoying your return home.”

“You’re the reason the engineering team rejected me?”

“Rocky, please.” Adrian’s beautiful tones sound so mournful, so wrong. Why would they do this to me? Don’t they understand this is what I need? “You’d miss everything if you stayed working at the same pace you’d been when Grace was still on the ship!”

“Says you! Adrian, I—”  I’m struggling to find the words. How can I make them understand how much this hurts? 

“Adrian, I need to help,” I need to stay busy. 

“It’s my purpose.” I need to stay busy! 

“It’s how I can be a good mate, to you, to Grace.” I can’t slow down, I can’t rest, I can’t handle what could come out if I settle for too long. 

“I make things, I fix things. It’s what I do! It’s all I am!”

“No, it is not!” Adrian straightens up, towering over me as they stretch their limbs high, a single stomp from them reverberating off the walls. “You are Rocky! My Rocky! The Rocky I know has more interests than just work! You explore! You make things just for the fun of it! You don’t avoid your family; don’t miss a single sleep cycle. My lazy, precious warmth. You lie in my arms for days, and we fill our time with each other, and it is enough. You play games, make mischief, you drive me crazy with your endless knowledge about everything, and sometimes, you make and fix things. That is my Rocky.”

“Maybe your Rocky didn’t make it back.”

My mate shudders and keens at my words, but I don’t take them back. “No. No, that’s not true. You are still you, it’s just… buried. I find you again, just for a moment, and then it’s like you hide it again and find something new to keep you busy so the real you can’t get out.”

“Maybe that me is buried for a reason, did you think about that? Before you tried to pry it free without asking? Maybe I don’t want to be that Rocky anymore.”

“Liar. That is the Rocky Grace fell in love with, too, I know it. He would not have fallen in love with this…. This facade you’re making, so busy with other people’s issues, you did not even realize he’d been getting stifled by that awful old culture Eridian for weeks!”

That hurts. I’ve been drowning in that guilt since it happened, and Adrian knows it. It’s cruel of them to bring it up, but I can’t even deny it. I had been a bad mate to Grace, I got pulled into all kinds of projects, not just his biodome plans, and it made me overlook such a terrible thing until it was so blatant I couldn’t miss it. But I can’t slow down, I’m…I’m scared to. I can’t even bring myself to explain why.

“Rocky, I’m sorry,” Adrian’s talking in that painfully soft tone again as they try to approach, but I can’t. I can’t speak, I can’t explain myself, so I do the only thing my body will let me. I run. I rush right through the front door, Adrian yelling my name behind me. I don’t go into town. I run and run until I am surrounded by nothing but dirt. Empty space, no sounds, no one to judge me. 

I sit there for hours. I could’ve stayed for days, but I know I will need to sleep soon, and even feeling as terrible as I do, I can’t go back to sleeping without someone to watch me. I can’t. So I return to Grace’s dome. He’s not alone, a pair of Eridians I vaguely recognize from his nutrition team are in his house chatting as I arrive, but I don’t care about interrupting. I knock hard on the door, and Grace immediately answers. His expression is strange, his brows and mouth flat lines as he lets me inside.

“Guys, can we do this another time? I forgot I had plans with Rocky.” His lies drip so smoothly that if the other Eridians notice, they don’t show it. In just a few moments, it’s just us, and the silence is awkward and thick. 

“I need to sleep,” I force the words out, wobbly and discordant, but Grace understands me anyway. He beckons me to the couch, and we sit down. I press into his side and keen. He holds me, cradles me as best he can, legs spread so I can rest between them.

“Talk to me, Rock, what’s wrong?” Grace urges me, his voice that same sickeningly soft timbre Adrian’s was. Is it so obvious how fragile I am right now? “Rocky. Love.” I shake my carapace and hold one of his hands as I succumb to sleep.

Grace is still next to me when I wake up, his blanket tossed over us both. He smiles at me as I stretch. “You were really tired, huh?”

“What time, question?” 

“11 pm. You slept for like 12 hours, bud.”

“Long… Apology, I took over your day.” Grace huffs a laugh and shakes his head.

“Gave me an excuse to lounge around all day, how can I be mad at that?” He lowers the volume of the TV, the familiar drone of a documentary fading into background noise. He folds his arms over his chest, readying himself to scold me. “Adrian visited while you were asleep. Caught me up on something that maybe I should be mad about…”

“Grace—”

“Using me like that’s really not cool, Rocky.”

I lower myself as much as possible, flooded with shame. “I know. I do love to make things for you, though, you know this.”

“Sure, but you weren’t making them for me, really, were you?”

I guess not. I let out a sad hum, and Grace sighs loudly, shaking his head as he loosens his arms so he can pet my vents. “Rocky, I think Adrian is right. I think you need to see someone about this.”

“You should sleep soon, past your bedtime.”

“You can’t avoid talking forever. Adrian and I are on the same page here, and we both think you need help.”

“Sweet mates are overreacting. I just want to make things for you, pamper my loves.” I reach out to pet his leg, and Grace sighs again. 

“Well, you can pamper me with only words from now on because I’m not asking for another thing from you until you get some help.”

“No, no, Grace, please.” Panic rises at that; he was my salvation, my sure thing. I need a new project, I’m not ready to face the world yet! “Grace, one more, just one, please please please,” I beg him, crawling onto him, hands clutching at his shirt. Grace shakes his head and crawls out of my grasp. Even when I try to keep him in place, he wriggles out of his shirt and stands above me. 

“Nope! You wanna do things so badly, keep yourself busy. You wouldn’t let me do this, would you? When I—” He falters, his hands grasping at air. “When I struggle, you don’t let me pretend everything’s fine. Not for long, anyway. I can’t do it with you either, now that I know why you’ve been so build-happy. We love you, Rocky. Adrian and me. We just want what’s best for you.”

“I know what’s best for me. Don’t need stupid human to tell me that.” I regret the words the moment I say them. “Apology apology apology,” I hurry after Grace as he turns on his heel and walks over to his bed. “Grace not stupid, apology,” I reach out again, but he bats my hand away and climbs into bed, yanking his glasses off and pulling the quilt over his head. 

“I’m going to sleep. You don’t need to watch.”

“Will watch, Grace, I will watch.” I try to climb up, but he’s made no room for me this time. I prop myself up awkwardly, hands clutching either side of him as I stand above him to watch. He says nothing. Neither do I. What am I doing? I’m so caught up in trying to avoid the pain I know is lurking inside me, I’m making new pain I can’t hide from. Hurting my mates, ignoring the people I have waited so long to return to. 

I stay in that uncomfortable position for nearly an hour, until Grace’s breathing slows and his heartbeat reaches that familiar lazy thumping that confirms he’s asleep, and then I climb back down. What do I do? How do I fix this? I know what Grace and Adrian want, but I don’t need it. I just need to get better at acting normal. I should find some way to apologize.

The TV is still going. I hear it in the background, and head back over to the couch to turn it off. It’s connected to a thinking machine that stays on the table in front of the couch, all I need to do is close it, and the TV will stop. That nature documentary is still going, I listen to the texture screen as the images translating there shift and sway. It takes a moment to understand what I’m looking at, and then I realize. Trees. 

Trees. Grace loves trees. He’s told me stories of his childhood, how he broke his right ankle falling out of one but he still climbed them all the time. Adrian has never seen a tree, of course. I think they would like them, tall and shapely, just as they are. 

I could make a tree. A sculpture, done in my style, with xenonite. A tree for Grace and Adrian. My apology! I can do this easily.  

I don’t make a plan or blueprint. I get my xenonite tools, Adrian is out somewhere, thankfully, and I just go for it. A big sturdy base, the trunk, fake roots that connect to sturdy metal I hide beneath the dirt for stability. I go up, and up, and up, and I feel like I’m starting to really get the appeal of climbing a tree. Being up so high is a little thrilling. I start to make branches, I won’t have to worry about one snapping under me like what happened to Grace, xenonite is much too sturdy. Leaves are a little difficult just from memory, but I think I’m doing them justice. Grace will have to give me his opinion when he wakes up, maybe I’ll remake them, he said leaves can come in many shapes, so he might have a favorite one. 

This is fun! I work, and work, and work, and the best part is when one branch is done, I can just make another! I stop counting at some point. Still plenty of space til I hit the top of the dome, so why not keep going? It feels so nice to be busy again. I can’t wait to show Grace and Adrian their tree. I think they’ll both love it.  Maybe they’ll love it so much they’ll see how foolish it is to try to stop me from working because I’m just so good at it. Maybe they’ll ask me to make them a forest! I should do that. I’ll make another dome, and fill it with all the different kinds of trees, and maybe after that I’ll look up flowers and make every kind of those, and then after that—

“Rocky!”

Grace is screaming my name. The sound pierces through me. The last time I heard him that frantic, he was banging a wrench on the hull of my dead ship. It startled me then, too. But I’d been in zero gravity, no fear of falling in zero G. Xenonite might be sturdy, but if you slip, well, there’s no helping that. When did it become daytime? If only I could sense light, I would’ve known Grace would be waking soon. He spoiled his own surprise. 

Funny, how much you can think about while falling out of a tree. Feels like this should’ve been quicker. Guess I’d gotten pretty high up. 

I collide with the ground and go tumbling off the edge of the hill, nothing for me to grab on to slow my fall. Grace screams my name again, and I can hear him hurrying down the steps to reach me. I hit the cliff walls twice on my way down before landing in the sand, which is thankfully soft enough to make me a nice little crater and stop my rolling. 

That was stupid. That was stupid stupid stupid. I’m so lucky I’m in a xenonite suit, or I could’ve died. Even still, I think a part of me has chipped off. Mercury drips from somewhere on me, I’m not even sure where. I feel so disoriented. I try to stand, but Grace has finally reached me, leaking from his eyes as he falls to his knees and clutches at me. His joints must hurt. I feel bad about making him do that.

“What the fuck,” Grace sobs the words, and hearing an actual human curse from him is almost chilling. He never does that, not unless things are really, really bad. “Rocky, talk to me, are you okay? What the fuck were you doing?!”

“Apology tree,” I reply, and Grace takes in a shuddery breath.

“Oh god, you broke your brain,” He wails and clings to me. 

“Brain is fine! Well, fine as before! My answer makes sense! I made tree as apology for Grace and Adrian. Was almost done before Grace interrupted.”

“Interrupted?! You— You— You made a thing for me and Adrian… to apologize for making us things.”

“...Yes.”

“Your brain really is broken, huh?”

Well, now that he says it… “I hurt something in the fall. Need to sleep, recover.” I pull my limbs underneath me and settle on the sand. Grace sniffles and slips his hands under my joints, trying to pull me up. 

“Rocky, don’t sleep here, come on! I can’t lift you! Rocky, you need to be in your own air, not in that suit!”

“Watch sleep, please,” I plead as Grace presses his forehead to my carapace and his breath hitches as he clings to me.

“Idiot. Stupid, dumb, reckless, you talk about me doing dumb stuff all the time and then—”

I’m not on the beach when I wake up. 

I’m in my and Adrian’s home, tucked neatly under Adrian’s beautiful, sturdy figure, suit removed and mercury-free. Grace is sitting on the other side of the visiting room, legs and arms crossed as he stares at me.

“He’s up, Adrian.” 

“I know, dear.” 

I’m in big trouble. I try to scoot out from under Adrian, but they’ve settled down atop me just enough to keep me stuck in place. I try to drag myself, but I get nowhere and give up.

“Good morning, my precious mates,” I offer weakly, shrinking under the tense silence I’m met with. “...I’m sorry.”

Adrian sighs. “Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

I hold back an urge to answer with ‘apology tree’ again; I don’t think I can get away with it here. And in reality, I know it’s not the real issue, just a part of it. “I have a problem.”

Grace straightens up. He seems surprised at my admission. “And what is it?” He asks, and I fight with myself for far too long, trying to find some way to wriggle out of this, but I’ve got no choice but to acknowledge it now.

“I’m scared to stop working. I’ve been working like this for decades… killing time, waiting for a miracle or to die, whichever came first. And now I’m supposed to just stop working and remember how to be a version of me that got left behind on the Blip-A, and I can’t do it without having to sift through the worst years of my entire life first, and I’m too scared.” I press a hand to Adrian’s arm. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not the mate you fell in love with.”

“You’re right,” Adrian huffs, and I ache. “You’ve somehow gotten both smarter and dumber. Rocky, I might not know everything you went through, but I know it’s changed you. And I still love you. I love every version of you, always will.” Adrian shifts back, they seem to realize I won’t run this time, letting me free. I stay mostly in their grasp; I need it. “Did you know that when they first called for me and said you returned, I thought you’d failed the mission?”

“What?”

Adrian chimes with laughter. “They didn’t give me the full information, but I didn’t care. You were home. I was so happy, I didn’t even care that our sun might’ve still been doomed. Is that terrible?”

“That’s beautiful,” Grace warbles. I can hear the water pooling in his eyes as he tries to blink them clear. Adrian hums sweetly, petting one of my arms and pressing another to the glass wall, an attempt to comfort Grace like they’ve seen me do. Grace presses his hand to Adrian’s and stays there until Adrian pulls back. 

“I may not know all you went through up there, either of you, but I know grief. I lived many years pretending it did not have a hold on me, while your expected return date came and went, and everyone around me began funereal rites for their missing family. I held one for you 86 years later than everyone else, and it devastated me to the point of almost dying.”

“Adrian…” The thought sends a chill through me. The pain I put them through with my absence, of course, it must’ve been great. We’ve talked about it so little, I was scared to bring it up for too long and risk reminding them of it all over again. 

“While you cannot stop, I could not go. I did not work. I did not create. I had to be begged to get up and eat, you can imagine how mortifying that was,” Adrian says this all so lightly, a laugh in their tone in a way I can’t imagine ever being able to get with my pain. “I slept as much as I could, and when someone could not watch me, I slept alone.”

I keen, heartbroken, and Adrian continues to hold me, pet me, like I’m the one who deserves comfort here and not them.

“Your family made me get help, in the end. Sneaky, they joined forces with my family, and got me out of our home, and instead of the play they said we would be going to, they took me to a grief counselor.”

“And it helped?”

“Eventually. When I let it. It’s not a perfect system, and it can feel worse before it feels better. But in the end, I’m still going, and I started to live my life again.”

I’d like to live my life again without the fear of my time alone in space creeping behind me all the time. I want to enjoy my return, enjoy my mates, enjoy my life. But the thought of the only way I can get there being to confront everything I’ve been avoiding is terrifying.

“Hey, can I chime in here?” Grace’s voice cuts in, and we both shift our attention. He’s stopped leaking, but he’s still half-pressed to the glass, close as he can get without a suit.

“Of course, please do,” Adrian urges.

Grace smiles softly and beckons me closer. Adrian shifts us both, so we’re all as close as we can be. “Remember when I told you about the UNESCO conference? When I got kicked out of academia?”

“Yes.”

“I went to a counselor about it. Well, we have some different distinctions, technically they were called something else, but it’s the same kind of person I think Adrian is talking about. I was struggling a lot after the conference; my entire life plan had been basically set on fire by my own hubris. I felt like I had nothing left.”

His hands rub together, fingers fidgeting. “I, uh, I didn’t handle it well for a while. I was hurting, and I felt like I deserved to hurt for what I did. A friend of mine, Marissa, I’ve mentioned her, right?” I nod my carapace even though I know he’s still looking at his own hands. “She found out what I was doing and basically bullied me into getting help. I went in a total skeptic, and came out after my first session wishing I’d gone sooner.”

“Really, question?” We’ve shared so much of our stories, I know all about Grace’s path from school to how he got on the mission, but he’s never mentioned this before. “Not just trying to convince me, question?”

“No, no! This happened, bud, I promise.” Grace laughs sheepishly and tilts his head to look at me. “Mental health is kind of a taboo topic on Earth. Millions of people see counselors or go to group therapy sessions, or take medicine to help their brains, and yet hardly any of us would openly admit it. It’s a work in progress, or it was.” He tenses for a moment, and I know he’s thinking of Earth, how it’s doing right now. I press my carapace to the glass, and he meets me with his forehead in an instant, pulling away after a few seconds to smile at me. 

“Things got a lot better for me after that. I still went for sessions about once a month for a couple years. I really needed someone to just talk to, I think. Having someone neutral I could spill my most difficult thoughts to was such a relief. Honestly, I don’t know if there’s any Eridian counselors who would be up to the challenge of my messy human brain, but I could probably do with a few sessions myself.”

“Grace would go, question?” Adrian perks up at the suggestion. “I will find someone, I’m sure many counselors would be honored to help you. And you, Rocky,” they nudge me softly. 

I’m still scared. Maybe I’ll always be scared. Or maybe I won’t. I guess I’ll never know until I try.

☀︎☀︎☀︎

“Grace awake, kiss please.”

Grace groans and rolls over in his bed, tugging his quilt over his head. I’m standing over top of him, no escape allowed. I grab his quilt and tug it down, laughing at his frail attempt to stop me.

“Rocky, lemme sleep a little longer,” He whines, eyes scrunched tight as he turns onto his back. He can see me even when his eyes seem closed, I have to listen closely to confirm they’re open ever so slightly. I lean lower. 

“Good morning, Grace. Kiss please.”

“Is that all I’m good for?” 

“Yes. Kiss already, lazy human,” I tease, and Grace lets out a breathy little laugh before sighing and blinking up at me.

“Oh. Today’s the day, huh? Nervous?”

“...A little.”

Grace’s arms slide up mine, gently caressing my carapace, trailing down the ridges. “You’re gonna do great. We’re doing that movie party after, right? Adrian said you already picked out what we’re watching first.”

“Yes, I want to show Adrian all of Rocky movies.”

“Seems like cheating to choose an entire franchise,” Grace hums and props himself up with one arm. “But I guess I’ll let you get away with it since it’s your big day. When do you need to leave?”

“Soon. I might be late, actually.”

“Rock!” 

“I needed to watch you sleep!”

Grace huffs a laugh. “Don’t use me as your excuse just cuz you wanted a goodbye kiss. C’mere.” 

I lean down, and Grace presses his mouth to my carapace, a little below my vents. I trill with delight and lean closer when he moves to pull away. “Again!” He laughs and gives me another, and another, until my glee becomes too much and I have to push myself back and onto the floor to kick the joy through my limbs. “Gross sleepy human kisses,” I sigh happily, and Grace chuckles and grabs his glasses. “I’ll be back later.”

“See you later,” Grace nods, and I can hear him stretching as I leave, beginning his quiet morning routine. I should really just get going, but I can’t help myself. I leave through the airlock to my and Adrian’s home, even though it’s the opposite way to where I need to be.

Adrian startles at my entrance, immediately getting up to crowd around me. “Rocky! Shouldn’t you be—”

“Yes, yes, on my way. Just wanted to see you one more time.”

They coo sweetly at me, and I sidle up beside them, embracing them quickly. “You will do great today, don’t worry. I will wait for you with Grace! I’m excited to learn about our namesakes!” Adrian wiggles happily, and I do the same.

“You will love them. Might need a lot of explanation from Grace but he loves to talk over movies anyways. I’ll go now.” I run my farewell marks over Adrian’s, and they trill and rub theirs back, the soft knocking soothing me. I leave before I can find something to delay any further.

The building is only a few minutes’ walk away, in the heart of the city. People stop to gawk but I do not pay attention. I follow the path Adrian and I practiced and take a steady breath before stepping inside. I’m brought to a room, soundproofed and soothingly textured walls await me as I step in. An Eridian I’ve met only twice sits in front of me, they wave kindly and point me to a couch across from them where I take a seat. 

“Hello Rocky, it’s good to see you again,” Pathos chimes. They’re an older Eridian, smoother edges on their stocky frame, their thick limbs tucked beneath them. “Are you ready for your first session?”

I can feel the fear prickling up through my limbs, urging me to run. I tuck them under me and sit up as tall as I can.

“Not really, but I’m here.”

They laugh, the lightness in their tone reminds me of Adrian’s. “Don’t worry, we’ll start somewhere fun. Your mates suggested you come today, right? Want to tell me about them?”

“I could talk about them for days.”

“Let’s see how far we get in two hours.”

“Deal.”