Chapter Text
1
The phone call had been unexpected.
He hadn’t heard from Roz in months. Sure, they had been texting each other, but that wasn’t the same as a phone call. Those were two very different things. At first, he thought maybe it was a butt dial or something. Definitely an accident.
So when he answered and he was greeted with Rozanov’s deep, Russian accent saying his name, it made him feel startlingly emotional.
“Marlow.”
“Roz? Uh, hello.” He repeated.
“How are you?” Roz asked.
“I’m good, I guess.” He stood up off the couch. Something about this conversation already compelled him to move. “How are you?”
“Good. It is nice to hear your voice. Now that I do not hear it every day, it is not so annoying.”
Marlow chuckled. “Wow, here I thought you were about to say something nice about me.”
“I am nice guy.”
He laughed again. “Whatever you say, Roz. But, um… why are you calling? Is something up?”
“Are you busy? Bad time to talk?”
“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t think you’ve ever called me before. Usually you just text.”
“Is true, but I did not want to do this over text. Face to face would have been better, but that is my fault. I did not plan this well.”
“Plan what?”
“You know that I have my first hockey camp coming up this summer, yes?”
“Yeah, of course.” They had actually talked about it a lot. Marlow hadn’t quite understood the whole thing at first—he was just as thrown as the rest of the world by the announcement that Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander were teaming up to start a charity—but he thought he had come around pretty quickly, even if it still felt a little strange. Obviously, this was something that Rozanov really wanted to do. Marlow had seen all the video interviews, and he could tell how passionate Roz got when it was brought up, so he was proud of him. This was a big deal. Yeah, lots of guys started charities, but they weren’t all so hands on as running a hockey camp.
And learning what Roz had gone through with his mom… that was a hard one to swallow. No wonder he had been so guarded about his past.
“Well,” Roz went on, “I wanted to know if you would be interested in helping coach at one of the camps.”
“What?” Marlow stopped walking. He had been pacing around his condo and realized he was standing in the middle of the hallway. “Me?”
“Yes. Shane—Hollander and I have been asking our friends for help. Mostly it is guys from Ottawa and Montreal, but there are others, too. I wanted to know if you would want to come help out.”
“What guys from Ottawa and Montreal?”
“If I list them, would you even know them?”
“Don’t be an asshole, Roz, I’m trying to be better at knowing who’s on what team.”
“Because I am not there to know for you?”
“Roz…”
“Wyatt Hayes and me from Ottawa. Hollander, Pike, and Boiziau from Montreal. Also, Ryan Price. And Leah Cambell and Max Riley. You have not met them, but they are great.”
“Roz,” Marlow leaned back against the wall, “none of those guys are going to want me there.” And he didn’t think he particularly wanted to be around them either. Especially Hollander. The hit that had put him in the hospital was a long time ago, and a complete accident. But he had never hurt anyone like that before, and it was still a weird lingering thing, like a kind of shame or regret, and Marlow wasn’t sure how comfortable he’d feel spending time with Hollander.
“I want you there.”
Marlow was surprised by another wave of emotion. He knew he missed Roz, but hearing Roz also confirm he missed him, too… Damnit, he wasn’t going to cry on the phone standing in his hallway. He pushed off the wall and started walking again. “I don’t know, Roz. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Well,” he shrugged even though he knew Rozanov couldn’t see him, “I don’t know if I’ll be very good at it. I’ve never tried to teach kids before.”
“But you like kids, yes? You always seemed to have fun when we visited hospitals or had events with kids.”
“Well, yeah…”
“So, you could try it.”
He sighed. “Yes, but…” He sighed again. “Are you sure I’m the right guy for the job? What if I’m bad at it?”
“No, I am not sure you are the right guy for the job. I am not sure that anyone is right for the job because we have not done it yet. But if you are bad, it is my fault. I am the one who asked you.”
Marlow stopped in front of the window in his living room, looking out at his modest view of the city. “I’m still not sure…”
“Just come for a couple days, then? As a guest coach.” Roz paused, but not long enough for Marlow to say anything. “Just a few days in Montreal. For me.”
He had told Roz he would think about it and let him know and Roz seemed to be okay with that answer. It wasn’t the coaching part that he needed to think about, though, or the fact that he was pretty sure that most of the other coaches hated him.
They had discussed this enough for Marlow to know that there were two weeks of camp and one of them would be in Ottawa because that’s where Roz lived now. So, why did he specifically invite Marlow to the Montreal camp? The one that they hosted because that was Hollander’s city? Hollander and Rozanov were apparently a team now, at least when it came to these camps, but it made sense in Marlow’s mind to designate the Ottawa camp as Roz’s and the Montreal camp as Hollander’s. So, shouldn’t Roz have invited him to Ottawa instead?
Of course, there was one big detail that explicitly tied Roz to Montreal, and Marlow hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since he had found out Roz was leaving Boston.
Montreal was where the mysterious Jane lived.
Could that be why he had been invited to Montreal instead? Was he finally going to meet the woman who got Ilya Rozanov to not only go exclusive, but also sign with the worst team in the league? He was sure that had to be part of it, but he was scared to ask. Like, if he said something, he’d seem too eager or something and Roz would change his mind.
So, he had told Roz, yes, he’d commit to a couple days of helping at the camp. And he would do the best he could, but as he sat in the airport waiting for his flight, he was much more excited about the possibility of meeting Jane. Getting to spend time with Rozanov again and finally getting to know who his girl was would definitely make up for having to hang out with Hollander and his Montreal teammates.
****
“You have to go already?” Shane asked, watching Ilya get dressed.
“Yes. I have to meet Marlow at the airport. I do not want to be late. He might cause a scene or get lost.”
Shane rolled his eyes and shook his head. “He travels all the time Ilya, I’m sure he can handle it.”
“You don’t know Marlow like I know Marlow.” Ilya pulled on his shirt and then flopped back onto the bed, laying back against Shane’s chest. He closed his eyes as Shane wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “You are… sure you are okay with this?”
He kissed his head twice more. “Yes. I trust you.”
“You are sure?”
“What? Are you having doubts now?”
Ilya shifted around until he was in a better position to look up at Shane. “No. But I want to make sure that you truly are good with this.”
“Do you trust Marlow?”
“Yes.” He did. Not only was Marlow one of his best friends, and basically the only friend he still had from playing in Boston, he had been keeping the huge secret that Ilya had trusted him with for almost two years now. Or, at least, the version of the secret that Ilya had shared with him.
And it hadn’t been an easy secret to keep. When Ilya had left Boston for Ottawa, everyone wanted to know why. They asked him personally, of course, and he had kept quiet about it, but so had Marlow. The league knew that Ilya and Marlow were friends, and when Ilya had refused to comment, they had gone after Marlow. The amount of times over the last year that someone in the media had found a way to weasel in a question about what Cliff Marlow knew about Ilya Rozanov choosing to sign with a new team was astonishing, to the point that Ilya had apologized, many times. Marlow had just told him it wasn’t his fault.
It would have been so much easier if he had just told them all that Ilya had moved because he was in a secret relationship, but he had kept his mouth shut about it. And the way that the others on Boston treated Ilya proved he hadn’t told them either.
Of course, Marlow didn’t know the actual truth. He had no idea that Jane was actually Shane Hollander. But that was going to change. Or at least that was the plan. To ease Marlow into the idea that Ilya and Shane were together over these next three days and see how it went. Could it backfire in their faces? Maybe. But a part of Ilya really, really didn’t think so.
He had proposed the idea to Shane months ago. Shane had slightly panicked at first, which was fair. Ilya wasn’t offended. It was actually Shane who had first suggested that Ilya come out to Marlow, but this went a lot farther. It wouldn’t just be telling him that he was bisexual, it would be telling him he was in love with the man that Marlow, like the rest of the world, thought he had spent his whole career hating.
Shane had come around eventually, and Ilya just wanted to make sure that he hadn’t changed his mind. Because while Ilya was sure that even if Marlow didn’t react well to finding out he was dating a man, he wouldn’t tell anyone, it wasn’t just Ilya’s life that would be affected if something went wrong.
“Then I trust him, too.” Shane kissed him again, this time on the forehead.
Ilya pulled away so he could roll onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows. “And you are okay that I am not staying here while Marlow is here?”
“Mm, that part I’m not as okay with.” Shane brushed his fingers across Ilya’s cheek. “But I think that if we’re easing him into this whole idea, we probably shouldn’t just start off with sleeping in the same bed together.”
“No, that is coming on a little strong, I think.”
Shane chuckled and Ilya leaned in to kiss him. “Text me later. Let me know what time you guys want to go eat and Hayden and I can meet you.”
“Ugh, does Hayden have to come?”
“Yes. It’s not up for debate.”
“Fine, but if he tries to fight Marlow again, I won’t interfere.”
Shane laughed and shoved against Ilya’s shoulder. “You better get going so your friend doesn’t get lost at the airport.”
“One more kiss.” Ilya pursed his lips. Even though Shane laughed, he kissed him twice more.
****
It had been weird to see Rozanov just standing there waiting for him. A little weirder to see him taking photos and signing a few things while in a rival city, but the weirdest part was that when Marlow got close enough, Roz hugged him. It wasn’t a long hug, or unwelcome, it was just… weird.
“Hey. Your flight was good?” He asked, taking Marlow’s bag.
“Yeah, it was fine.” Marlow watched him put it into the back. “A short one. But you know that.”
Roz waved at the few gathered fans over the top of the car before climbing into the driver’s seat, so Marlow got in the car as well. “Yes, lots of trips to Montreal for games.”
“Among other things?”
Roz smirked as he pulled away from the curb. “Yes. Among other things.” They drove in silence for a few moments before Roz said, “I am glad you’re here.”
“It still feels a little weird, but… I think I’m glad to be here, too. I’m glad to see you, at least.”
“You miss me in Boston?”
“Of course I do. No one there is as fun as you.”
Roz smiled. “You are playing well, though.”
“We’re playing okay. We barely limped to fourth in the division with that last little stretch of wins.”
“You could not win a couple more games to take third place from Kent?”
Marlow scoffed and rolled his eyes. “I fucking wish. At least Toronto didn’t make it past the first round of the playoffs.”
“Yes, that was good.” Roz cleared his throat softly. “So, I rented a place for us to stay. It is nothing super fancy but is better than a hotel room and enough space that we will not be stepping on each other.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, what?”
“I don’t know… I just… I guess I didn’t think we’d be staying together while I was here.”
“You do not want to stay with me?” Roz looked away from the road to give him a puzzled look.
“No, I just figured that you didn’t want to stay with me.”
Roz laughed. “Mm, yes. Totally. I invited you to come here to help me out, and then I dump you by yourself and ignore you while you are here.”
“No.” Marlow sighed. “That’s not what I meant either. I just thought… you know…” Roz raised his eyebrows as he waited for Marlow to continue, “I thought you’d be staying with Jane.”
Roz’s smile slowly spread wider and he laughed again. “Ah. I see.”
“We’re in Montreal, and so I thought…” He shrugged. He hadn’t wanted to bring Jane up like this. He was hoping Roz would do it himself.
“I have been waiting for you to say something about that.”
“What?”
“I thought you would mention Jane right away when I brought up Montreal.”
“Well, I did. Or, I mean, that’s what I thought of. Why you invited me to the Montreal camp instead of the Ottawa one. I figured it was something to do with her.”
“And people say you are stupid.” Roz chuckled.
“Fuck you.”
Roz opened his mouth and then closed it again without saying anything. He swallowed and took a deep breath before he finally said, “There is a plan. For you to meet Jane. But it is… complicated.”
Complicated. Roz had used that word to explain why Jane had to stay in Montreal and at the time Marlow thought it was a little weird, but he hadn’t put too much more thought into it. But now, hearing it again…
“What makes it complicated?”
Roz sighed. “Just… a lot. I can’t… I just need you to trust me, Marly.”
Marlow nodded. “I trust you, Roz. I mean, I kind of have to, right?” He was glad to see that got a little smirk out of Rozanov. “I’m at your mercy here. But thanks. For getting us a place. I’m sure it’s way better than a hotel. Sorry if having me here messed up your plans.”
“Again, I would not invite you here and then ignore you. But it did not mess up any plans. I would have just stayed with Shane if you did not come.”
“What? Hollander?” Why wouldn’t he just stay with Jane? How complicated was this whole thing? “I guess that if you were here for the hockey camp, it would make sense for you to stay with Hollander. That would be less distracting. It would keep your mind on hockey.” Roz looked as if he was trying really hard not to laugh. “What?” He asked.
At first, Rozanov could only shake his head. “Nothing.” He finally croaked out.
Okay. Weird. “Is Hollander going to stay with you when he comes down for the camp in Ottawa?”
Roz shrugged. “He is from Ottawa. His parents live there still.”
“Oh. I didn’t think about that.”
“He knows he is welcome to stay with me, though. If he wants to.”
“Wow.” Marlow stared out the window for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “This is… wild. You guys really are friends, huh?”
“Yes. You think this whole thing is a lie?”
“No, it’s just weird to see it… actually happening. I mean, I’ve known you for almost as long as you’ve known Hollander, and I had no fucking idea you two had grown close.”
“I’m good at keeping secrets.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“But so are you.” Rozanov’s voice softened, “You could have told my secret many times.”
“About why you went to Ottawa?” Marlow shrugged. “It isn’t my secret to tell.”
“And when you meet Jane… that will also be a secret you keep?”
“Of course. I mean… unless I have to tell.”
Rozanov frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Just that, like… I mean, if you were hurting someone or like Jane was a wanted criminal or something, I’d probably tell the cops, yeah. But other than that… but she’s not right? Not a criminal or anything?”
“Oh my God,” Ilya laughed.
“I’m not here to be murdered, am I?”
“Do you really think I would go through all this just to murder you?”
“Are you saying I’m not worth murdering?”
“What? Are you offended?”
“You told me you wanted to murder me once. Now you’re going to take it back?”
“Oh my fucking God.” Roz laughed again and then sniffled. “You are so fucking stupid. I am so glad you are here.”
****
The place that Ilya had rented for them wasn’t anything fantastic, but when life required you to spend half the year living in hotel rooms, you didn’t stay in a hotel while on break if you could avoid it. Of course he would rather be staying with Shane, but this would do for the few days Marly was there.
And he was sure that it would be enough for Marlow. He had been to Marlow’s place before. He had Ikea furniture and a cleaner who came by once a week to straighten things up. There was nothing wrong with that, of course, lots of guys lived that way, but it meant that Marlow didn’t need anything fancy to feel comfortable away from home.
Ilya waited in the living room while Marlow got settled. When he came back to join him, he flopped down on the other end of the couch. “So, what are we doing?”
“Tonight, we will go to dinner with Shane and Pike.”
“Hollander and Pike?” A flash of panic crossed Marlow’s face.
“Yes. Shane wants to talk to you and actually meet you since you are helping at camp. Pike will be there because,” Ilya couldn’t keep himself from rolling his eyes, “he is Shane’s friend.”
“You… don’t like Pike?”
Ilya shrugged. “He is annoying and not so great at hockey but… he is good with kids. Has so many of them. And he really wants to help with the camps, so…”
“If we’re going to meet them for dinner, then… is Jane coming?”
“You need to be patient.”
“Is that a yes or a no?” Ilya raised his eyebrows at him and Marlow sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’m here to help at the camp, and I swear I’m going to do my best, but can you blame me for being this fucking curious?”
“I suppose not.”
“It’s just that I have known about Jane for like two years now and I know nothing more than I did that first night you told me about her. Like, I’ve had no clues at all about who she is.”
“That is not true. I have given you many clues.” He had, and he intended to keep giving him more. Just little ones, like saying Shane instead of Hollander. That felt like the best way to approach this. Maybe if Ilya could get Marlow to start looking in the right direction, it wouldn’t be such a bombshell when it was actually revealed to him. And who knew? Maybe he would figure it out himself. He had figured out that Ilya was leaving Boston based off of clues that Ilya hadn’t even realized he had laid out.
But Ilya was starting to think that maybe it would be a bit harder than expected. He had straight up admitted that he would be staying with Shane if Marlow wasn’t there, and Marlow had… logic-ed the situation away? Hadn’t really even questioned it, or why Ilya would invite Shane to stay with him in Ottawa even if his parents lived there. Marlow seemed to be very caught up on the one piece of information that he did have—Jane—and that appeared to be the only thing he was focused on. They might have to get a little more obvious.
“Clues? You haven’t given me shit!”
“Then you have not been paying attention.”
Marlow’s brow furled and he tilted his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “Have you really been giving me hints?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“No. I am not lying.”
“What are the hints you have already given me?”
Ilya scoffed and reached for the remote. “If you want the hints, start paying attention.”
“Oh, come on, that’s not fair. I wasn’t ready before.”
“That’s not how this works!”
“How do you know?” Marlow sat back up, looking indignant. “Who makes the rules for things like this?”
“Me!” Ilya gestured at his own chest. “I do!”
“Well, your rules are bullshit!”
“Do not tell me the rules are bullshit!”
“Oh, yeah, or what?”
“Or I decide you do not get to meet Jane!”
“You’d really bring me all the way here and then not let me meet Jane?”
“That is not the only reason you are in Montreal, dumbass!”
“Well, yeah, for the hockey camp stuff—”
“You’re here because I miss you!” Ilya’s words cut off Marlow’s complaining and he just stared, his eyes wide. “I miss you.” He repeated softer, coming to accept the statement himself. He hadn’t admitted fully to himself yet that that was the biggest reason this whole thing was happening. Not so plainly at least. “I needed to see you again. You are my friend and I have not seen you outside of a hockey game in a year.”
“You…” Marlow’s eyes narrowed slightly, “you bribed me to come to Montreal so you could see me?”
“No.”
“You did.”
“Okay! Fine!” He threw his hands in the air. “So I did!”
There was a softness in Marlow’s expression that Ilya didn’t like. It was a pitying look that made his stomach feel too tight. “You didn’t have to.” He said quietly. “You could have just invited me. I would have come to see you.”
“Okay…”
“Jesus, Roz… asking me to come visit you doesn’t have be some elaborate fucking plan.”
“It is not an elaborate plan.” Ilya lied.
“We can just be two friends who miss each other and want to hang out.”
“Oh, so we can forget about you meeting Jane?”
“Well, no, I don’t see the point of that.” The way Marlow was trying to play it cool made Ilya have to fight back a smile. “I mean, I’m already here, you’ve already told her about me.”
“Told her?” Ilya raised his eyebrows. “About you?”
“Wait. Jane does know about me, right? You’ve told her that I’m here? That we’re meeting?” Ilya didn’t answer, just fidgeted with the remote. “Roz, come on. You’ve told Jane I’m here, right?”
“Yes, Jane knows about you.” He rolled his eyes. “Knows more than you probably think.”
“Is that a clue?”
“Maybe.” Ilya shrugged. “Maybe I tell Jane about you, maybe Jane knows hockey, maybe both.”
“Okay, hold on!” He struggled to get his phone out of his pocket for a moment.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking notes.” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Okay. First clue… maybe Jane… knows hockey.” He dictated as he typed.
Ilya sighed and turned on the TV. His life had been way too quiet without Cliff Marlow around.